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All right, everybody welcome to steadfast Baptist Church if we could go ahead and take our seats
We'll get started with our first song this morning. Go ahead and take out your hymnals and song turn to song number
120
Jesus save your pilot me
Song number 120
Again that song number 120 Jesus save your pilot me
On
The top
Jesus save your pilot me
Overlives tempestra see
unknown ways before me roll
Hiding rock and treacherous show
charted compass come from me
Jesus save your
pilot me
as a mother
stills her child
thou can
touch the ocean
while
boisterous waves obey thy will
When thou says to them be still
wondrous sovereign of the sea
Jesus save your pilot me
when at last
I hear the shore and the
fearful breakers war
Twixt me and the peaceful rest
then while
Leaning on thy breast
May I hear they say to me?
Jesus save your pilot me
Amen
That's Barrett's word of prayer
Dear father
We thank you that we could all make it here safely to be gathered in your house this morning to hear the preaching of your
Word and I just pray you but bless pastor Shelley film with your Holy Spirit right now that he could edify the brethren here and
Just keep everybody safe as they're traveling out today
Just let your protection be upon your people and help us all to grow in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior today
We love you and pray this thing to Jesus Christ name. Amen
Next song is not song number 100
day by day
It's all number 100 day by day
Day by day and with each passing moment
Strength I find to meet my trials here
Trusting and my father's wise be stone
I'm no cause for
worry or for fear
He whose heart and time beyond all measure
gives unto
Each day what he deems best
Lovingly it's part of pain and pleasure
Mingling toil with peace and rest
Every day the Lord himself is near me with a special
mercy for each
All my cares he fain would bear in hear me
He whose name is counselor and bough
the
protection
Protection of his child and treasure is a charge that on himself he lay
As I days I strength shall be in measure
This a pledge to me
Help me then in every tribulation
So to trust I promise is all
On that I lose not fates
reconciliation
offered me
within my holy
Help me Lord when told the trouble meeting
And to take as from a father's hand
One by one the days of moments fleeting till I reach the promised
Promised land
Good morning, thank you so much for coming this morning
If you still in the bulletin, you can lift up your hand nice and high
And we'll get the bullets into you on the front. We have our exodus chapter number 20. We're on week three of 26
Thou should have no other gods before me and a really good verse there on the inside. We have our service in soul winning times
Um
Today we're gonna have a modified schedule just due to weather. I tried to post this
Online and email everybody, but if you haven't already heard we're gonna just alter the services today
So we're still having a regular morning service at 10 30
Immediately after the service we have a bunch of food that was left over from our soul winning marathon yesterday that was postponed
So you're welcome to stick around we have sandwiches and salad and everything like that
So, please feel free to stick around and have lunch if you would like to
And then we're just going to have our afternoon service at 1 p.m
So, uh, i'll just go ahead and preach the evening service at 1 p.m
And we're just going to cancel the spanish service as well as the soul winning times
So that way people can get home. I think it's supposed to uh, start snowing very heavily
Maybe in the late afternoon potentially. I don't know but that's just kind of what the forecast has said
So just in interest of getting everyone home safely and before it starts getting really bad out there
We're just going to change the services for today
Any other updates i'll try to get with you. I don't know if the weather is going to stay bad till wednesday
But that's just for today
Also, we have our church stats as well as our expecting ladies several ladies here that are expecting if you'd please
Keep them in your prayers
We also have our prayer list and then
Um pastor me. He is going to be preaching at pure's baptist church february
21st
There is a sign-up sheet if you're planning on traveling down there that day just so we have some kind of idea
I think we're going to have a
Really good crowd. We're going to have pizza for lunch down there and really excited
For those services. Um, I know everybody down there is really excited for him to come out there
And so we pray they'll go well i'm going to be in oklahoma city that week
Preaching up there too. But um, we got a couple local guys here, uh preaching and so please still come out to church and
We're really excited. You really can't go wrong going to church anywhere, uh with steadfast or pure words baptist church on the back
We also have a soul winning marathon
March 6th in galveston and really excited about that
Uh, I know some people that live kind of in that part of the of the area
And they're really excited about having a marathon out there galveston island I looked it up
It's almost 50 000 people that live on the island
And so there's definitely plenty of doors and lots of area there for us to go soul winning
And galveston is kind of its own island. It's got a little bridge there and it's about 30 40 minutes south of houston
But that's we're going to be having the soul winning marathon. And so we'd really encourage you to come out there
April 3rd, we'll have a mega marathon
The following day will be uh easter and we'll have the lord's supper that evening may 8th
We're going to have a lady's tea
In honor of mother's day and all women and all ladies are invited to come
And you can always invite your mom or invite someone if you'd like, but we're going to have a lady's tea and i'll have more
Details on that when we get a little bit closer exactly where when but we just wanted to give you that idea
Maybe if you have a someone that you want to invite or invite your mom or something like that make some plans
And then may 20th through the 22nd
Is going to be the dates for our men's retreat. And so we did this last year
uh kind of in around father's day and the the place that we went it was kind of just like a really
Uh a blessing from god because the place would never let us go during that time
But because of covid they let us go and then we even found the place but it's it's mostly used by you know
Church youth groups and like college-aged kids and things like that
But we can still sneak out there early or late part of the year
And so we're going to go out there early part of the year and it's a really fun
Trip i'm pretty i'm pretty sure everybody that went there really enjoyed themselves
And so we're going to be doing it again
and hopefully we'll have a maybe a guest preacher or two i've already kind of contacted a few people and so
I'm really excited about the men's retreat
We'll have a sign-up sheet pretty soon, but I just want to give you those dates
And so that's pretty much all that I have for announcements. Just make sure to stay safe when you're driving out there
and just be in prayer for
Everyone that's not able to make it this evening or this uh this day
Let's go to our third song song 150 in your handout psalm 150
If you need one you can raise up your hand one of the ushers will try and bring one to you
You always take out your bible there king james bible to psalm 150
Praise ye the lord praise god in his sanctuary
praise him in the
Firmament of his power praise him for his mighty acts praise him
according to his
Exotic greatness praise him with the
sound
of the trumpet praise him with the
Psaltery and harp praise him with the timbrel and dance
Praise him with stringed instruments
Praise him upon the loud symbols praise him upon
the
high-sounding symbols let everything that had breath praise the
lord
praise ye the lord
Praise god the father praise
god the son
Praise god the holy ghost
Praise god in three persons
As the offering plates are being passed around please turn your bibles to ephesians chapter five ephesians chapter five
So
Ephesians chapter five the bible reads be therefore followers of god as dear children
And walk in love as christ also had loved us and hath given us and hath given himself for us an offering
And a sacrifice to god for a sweet smelling savor, but fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness
Let it not be once named among you as become of the saints
Neither filthiness nor foolish talking or jesting which are not convenient but rather giving up
Thanks for this, you know that no whoremonger nor unclean person nor covetous man
Who is an idolater hath any inheritance in the kingdom of christ and of god?
Let no man deceive you with vain words for because of these things come at the wrath of god upon the children of disobedience
Be not you therefore partakers with them for ye were sometimes darkness
But now are you light in the lord walk as children of light?
For the fruit of the spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth proving what is acceptable unto the lord
And have no fellowship with the unfulful works of darkness, but rather reprove them
For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret
But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light for whatsoever doth make manifest is light
Wherefore he saith awake thou that sleepest and arise from the dead and christ shall give thee light
See then that you walk circumspectly not as fools, but as wise redeeming the time because the days are evil
Wherefore be ye not unwise but understanding what the will of the lord is
And be not drunk with wine where in his excess but be filled with the spirit
Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs singing and making melody in your heart to the lord
Giving thanks always for all things unto god and the father in the name of our lord. Jesus christ
Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of god
wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the lord for the husband is the head of the wife even as christ is the
Head of the church and he is the savior of the body
Therefore as the church is subject unto christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything
Husbands love your wives even as christ also loved the church and gave himself for it
That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of the water by the word
That he might present it to himself a glorious church having not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing
But that it should be holy and without blemish so ought men to love their wives as their own bodies
He that loveth his wife loveth himself for no man ever yet hated his own flesh
But nourished and cherished it even as the lord the church
For we are members of his body of his flesh and of his bones
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife and they too shall be one flesh
This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning christ and the church nevertheless
Let every one of you in particular. So love his wife even as himself and the wife see that she reverence her husband
Let's have a word of prayer
Lord, thank you so much for this day and thank you for getting us all here safely
I pray that you'd be with the rest of our church those that couldn't make it
Pray that you bless them and that you'd fill pastor shelly with the holy spirit
Give him boldness to preach to us and help us all to pay attention and learn today. And in jesus name we pray. Amen
Amen, let's look back at verse 25 where the bible reads husbands love your wives
Even as christ also loved the church and gave himself for it
And the title of the morning sermon is this how men can improve their marriage how men can improve?
Their marriage now when it comes to marriage it takes two to tango
But at the end of the day a man or a woman can only ultimately control themselves
They only truly have possession of their own actions and their own thoughts and everything like that
However in marriage we understand that your actions and the decisions that you make will affect your spouse
And will have an impact on your marriage
And I really want to focus on a lot of things that the bible says I want to kind of teach you
Uh some some a few principles men this morning and then i'm going to get into a lot of practical application at the end
it'll be a little bit different at the end, but
The bible has a great command here love your wife and the first point I have is this men need to love
Men need love you want to improve your marriage today. You need to love your wife. Okay, and this is a commandment
This isn't even a suggestion the bible says to love
now
You know me and my wife we've been married for over 10 years and we've had ups and downs
And and really you asked this question. How do I know if I I love my spouse or how is it truly manifested?
Well, keep your finger right here, but go to first john chapter number four for a moment go to first john chapter number four
I'm going to give you kind of a simple definition of love
But a simple definition or how can you tell that love is manifested is this doing good?
When they don't deserve it
Doing good when they don't deserve it and so really love is not reciprocating good for good, but it's rather reciprocating good
When the other person does not deserve it and obviously i'm focusing here on the men. So
According to the bible love is manifested when you do something good or positive
Towards your wife or towards your spouse even when they don't deserve it
It's not something that they've earned in any way shape or form and that demonstrates your love
Now the person who teaches us this is god himself. Look at first john chapter four verse number nine
in this was
The love of god toward us because that god sent his only begotten son of the world that we might live through him
Here it is love not that we loved god
But that he loved us and sent his son to be the propitiation for our sins
So the bible shows us what love really looks like it's like when god the father sent his son to be the savior of the world
Even though we didn't deserve it, you know
We use this verse out so many a lot romans 5 8
But god commended his love toward us and that while we're yet sinners christ died for it
So it demonstrates the fact that we didn't deserve god's love. We haven't earned god's love. We haven't done anything
In fact, we've only done negative. Not only are we like not deserving of his love. In fact, we're actually
An enemy, we're actually
Trespassers, we're actually offenders and then god still
Stretches his arm across the aisle and still demonstrates and shows love unto us and the same love that god the father
Demonstrated through the sacrifice of his son for us is the model that we're supposed to have as a husband towards our wives
Okay, so the bible when it says love your wife. It's not just this, you know
Oh, I just think she's so pretty and she's so kind and I just like the way her hair, you know flows or whatever
No, it's actually
Deciding to do good under your wife when she doesn't deserve it
That's what it really looks like because it's easy to you know, reciprocate good for good
It's easy to reciprocate kindness for kindness and gift for gift
but what's difficult
Is to do good or to bless or to help or to encourage or to sacrifice?
For someone who does not deserve it in any way shape or form
And in fact you could go as so far as to give the exact same scenario where they're actually trespassing against you
They're offending you. They're not obeying you they're doing evil against you yet you still
Decide to love them. You still decide to do good under them. You still decide to
Manifest your love by doing the best that you can now. Here's a question
You may ask go to Colossians chapter 3 2 and we're coming right back to Ephesians
Well, actually you can lose your place in Ephesians. We'll come back later
Just go to Colossians chapter 3 for a moment Galatians Ephesians Philippians Colossians
So you're pretty much there with your finger Colossians chapter 3, but here's the question
Pastor Shelley, why should I do that?
You know, why should I reciprocate good for evil or why should I?
Continue to bless my spouse or do good under them, even if they've trespassed against me, you know
Why can't it be eye for eye or why can't it be foot for foot?
You know, why can't we just you know, if she says something mean to me i'll say something mean to her
I'll show her you know, she can't she can't do anything to me, right?
Why would you decide to manifest love unto your spouse when they're not deserving of it? Okay
Well, first of all, the bible says again in colossians 3 19 look at this husbands love your wives and be not bitter against them
Number one god said to okay
And ultimately, you know, we're supposed to follow god's commandments regardless of our own personal feelings desires or wishes
But let me give you an even better reason, you know
At least from a carnal perspective or or something of as far as a benefit, right?
Obviously, it's always beneficial to keep god's commandments
It's always right to fear the lord and not man but go to luke chapter number seven go to luke chapter number seven
I
Want to give you an idea here and let's look at a long portion of scripture
But let's look at a story about love specifically
And see how when you are doing the best that you possibly can and you're loving your spouse to the maximum
Okay
That you can actually receive a benefit from this and we see what it says be not bitter against them
What would be something that's bitter?
Well, we have to understand is in order to be bitter the person had to have trespassed against you
The person had to have done some kind of wrong. Otherwise, you can't really be bitter against them
Okay
If they're perfect
You can't be bitter against them for being perfect or doing right or blessing you or praising you're going to be bitter against someone
Because they screwed up because they did something wrong because they said something wrong. They did something wrong
They trespassed in some way and the bible's saying that husbands are not supposed to be bitter against their spouse
They're supposed to be bitter against their wife and you'll praise the lord that god has this attitude
You know that when we trespass against him and when we screw up
He's not constantly bitter against us and just like man. You just keep screwing up
Man, you're just weird is worthless, you know, you're just a no-good, you know scum. You just can't seem to get it right
I mean, what if god felt that way? I mean, how many times do you trespass against god?
And think about it he's he doesn't he has new mercies every morning
And you know
This is the same picture that a husband is supposed to have towards his wife where it's new mercies every morning
And where he's not constantly bitter and he's forgiving her
okay, he said but man I just have to forgive her all the time and it's just like there's so many trespasses and there's so
Many difficulties and you would think that she would just obey already. I mean hasn't she heard hasn't she read the bible?
But here's the thing
Even if your marriage is one where you're constantly having to forgive
Where you're constantly having to let things go where you constantly have to get over things and look
You know if you come to this church and your wife's constantly pregnant, you know, there's a little bit of flow there
Okay, there might be some times where it feels a little constant. Okay, but look at this story luke chapter 7 verse 39
now when the pharisee
Which had bidden him saw it he spake within himself saying this man if he were a prophet
Would have known who and what manner of woman this is that touches them for his sinner
So in this story, we have a woman she's touching the feet of jesus christ
And she's you know, washing his feet anointing his feet says in verse four in this pharisee's like what in the world?
Why is he letting this woman touch her?
You know covet six feet, you know distance, right?
40 and jesus answering said in him simon. I have somewhat to say unto thee and he saith master say on
There was a certain creditor which had two debtors the one owed 500 pence and the other 50
And when they had nothing to pay he frankly forgave them both tell me therefore which of them will love him
Most now that's an interesting statement
Love him
Now we have a parable here and jesus christ is illustrating
Himself as a creditor. Okay one who's lended money and then he's illustrating two debtors
And he's saying one debtor owes a lot more than the other
And ultimately if he forgives both of them
Which of them theoretically would end up loving the creditor or being more appreciative the one that had the bigger debt, right?
Says in verse 43 simon answered and said I suppose that he to whom thou forgave most and he said unto him
Thou is rightly judged and he turned to the woman and said unto simon
See is thou this woman I entered into thine house thou gavest me no water for my feet
She hath washed my feet with tears and wiped them with the hairs of her head thou gavest me no kiss
But this woman since the time I came in hath not ceased to kiss my feet
My head with oil thou didst not anoint but this woman hath anointed my feet with ointment
Wherefore I say unto thee her sins which are many are forgiven for she loved much
But to whom little is forgiven the same loveth little and he said unto her thy sins are forgiven
So let's first talk about this passage from what the bible is really trying to tell us
What is what is the bible really trying to tell us?
It's trying to tell us that those whom christ has forgiven the most have a natural inclination
To want to serve him or be more appreciative
It's just a natural response to be more appreciative more thankful and in fact even serving more notice
It's not just the appreciation
It's actually the appreciation demonstrated through physical works because notice he's pointing out things that he didn't do that
She did what are some of those things? Well, she washed his feet with tears
She's wiping him with the hairs of her head
She's anointing his feet with ointment. So notice she's washing his feet. She's even using her own hair. That's crazy
But you know what? It's just demonstrating the fact of how appreciative she is of jesus christ
She may not have any other option and you know what she's willing to dirty her own hair just to make sure
That the lord jesus christ is taken care of just to demonstrate her love and appreciation for him
Now I remember growing up and I would always read this passage and you know, I grew up in a christian home
My parents always took me to church and I read my bible as early as I can remember even being able to read
Now obviously my zeal was not really according to knowledge and the churches I was going to weren't necessarily the best but
I lived a pretty you know, uh in comparison to the world a pretty separated life
You know, I didn't really go into the world that much, you know
I was very against drinking and drugs and alcohol and I had a mom and dad and so
You know, you could say I was a little bit sheltered or living a little bit more on the clean and the straight and narrow
But obviously I had tons of sin. Okay, i'm just saying from a
Worldly comparison and I remember going to church and these people getting up and they're like man i've done like all these drugs
And i've been with all these women and i'm you know, i've killed people, you know, this is like they're giving these testimonies
You're thinking like man
You know and so they're like, but I get to love jesus so much more now, you know, and it was like
I always thought like am I just not going to be greatly used by god because you know
I never was this gang banger and I was never using, you know
This drink doing all these drugs and drinking and doing all these wicked evil things
But that's not the right way to really approach this passage
And and let me give you something to chew on. Okay, what this passage tells me is it's not that it's glorifying or praising
Those who are sinful what it is doing is it's helping you understand this point the more sinful you realize you are
The more you're motivated to serve jesus
And let me think let me give you another thing to think about the churches that preach the hardest on sin
Seem to be the ones that love jesus the most aren't they?
And you say why because they start realizing how sinful they really are
Hey, if you're going to church on sunday morning, and it sounds like you've got everything together and there's nothing wrong
Then why are you going to be so motivated to serve jesus?
But then when you show up at church and you realize how wicked and evil and wretched you truly are you say wow
Thank god for the lord's grace
Praise the lord that he you know continues to use me despite how sinful I truly am
And so we have to understand that when you have a realization
Of your inadequacy when you have this realization of the goodness and kindness and mercy of god
What does it do it stirs you to serve him? Okay. Now, let's take that to marriage
Okay
Because what did I already illustrate for you that husbands should continually forgive their spouse and do good unto them and love them
regardless of their action
So if a husband is always gracious and always kind and always forgiving his spouse
And always willing to you know, let things go. You know what that's going to end up doing
It's going to motivate his wife to want to serve him more because she realizes
Is
What her husband is doing for her
Because now she has the opportunity to love much because why she's been forgiven much
However, if you aren't forgiving her trespasses and you aren't being gracious and you aren't being merciful unto her
And you're holding her feet to the fire on every transgression. You know what it's not going to give her the same motivation
To then want to love you the same. In fact, it'll feel like she's she hasn't had much
Even being forgiven, you know, let me ask you this question your marriage. Do you forgive your spouse of things?
Do you just let things go or do you hold her accountable for every transgression?
And everything that she does wrong and every idle word and every little you know thing that she does wrong
Are you always you know, just showing her the law or are you showing her grace because the more grace that you show her
I'm telling you the bible teaches she'll end up loving you more. She'll end up appreciating more
She'll end up and also this serving you more
Because notice this woman ended up serving jesus christ more
What if jesus christ had come unto this very sinful woman and said, you know what? None of your sins are forgiven
You're wicked you're evil get out don't even touch me. How much would she have served? Jesus
None and notice that the Pharisee didn't even want the woman to touch him
Okay, why because she's too sinful and you know what a husband could get to a point where he's just not even letting his wife
Serve him because she's just too bitter
She's just too, you know rebellious or she's too evil or she's she's making too many mistakes or she's too emotional
Or she's too, you know, whatever and instead of just forgiving her and being there with her and letting her serve you
You end up putting distance between you and so the picture of a husband is one that's like god the father
Ideal, you know from an ideal perspective where he's constantly wanting to forgive her constantly wanting to appreciate her
and give her grace and being long-suffering and being patient and understanding that she's the weaker vessel and
Not always holding every single one of her transgressions
To a law type standard but rather extending grace
And at the end of the day
many people don't realize this but
Most people will end up matching the effort the effort level of their spouse and men
Often set that example men often set the bar for the effort level in a marriage and oftentimes
It's difficult for one spouse to increase their effort level way above and beyond
The effort level of their spouse. So if you're if your spouse is only given 10% in the marriage
It's very difficult for people to end up wanting to give a hundred percent
And their side of the equation because they feel like it's not being matched
They feel like it's not equal but but let me give you a sad reality
No marriage will ever be equal on the effort level
never
now
Praise the lord if it if it's close praise the lord if it's similar and you know what there's going to be ebbs and flows
There's going to be times, you know at the honeymoon stage
Usually both parties are kind of like at a max, you know
but there's going to be times where one dips down and one dips and it kind of goes ebbs and flows sometimes or
Sometimes in a bad situation is just one sizes down
and what ends up happening is the other person starts kind of
Coming down and trying to meet them and coming to an equilibrium because they don't see the benefit
Of staying at a maximum effort level in their marriage while the other party is not chipping in
While the other party is not doing their part while the other party is not loving in a reciprocal manner
But we already showed you here
You should go ahead and do it. Anyways, and the more grace you have
It's going to encourage them to increase their effort level
Okay, the more that you do the more potential you have of being loved notice
that the love effort level
Of these two people the one that have been forgiven 50 versus 500 who loved the most the one that of the 500
so even if your spouse is
quote unquote
You know way worse than you which you know, that's a subjective viewpoint
Okay, but i'm just saying even if it was theoretically possible that you could say yeah
It's definitely they're not putting as much effort as me
Well, you know what by you continuing to put as much effort as you can into your marriage
You're giving them the maximum possibility to love you
You can actually give them more benefit and more reality to love you
The more you forgive and the more you give grace the more potential you have to be
loved
And you know, I find that
A lot of times probably the effort level would be around five percent ten percent. I'm just throwing out numbers. Okay of where you're at
Let's just say your spouse is pretty much going to always stay about five ten percent
Below your effort of your level of effort, okay
Well, if that's true
Then why would I not want to go a hundred percent?
Because then that would put my spouse at 95 or 90 which that sounds pretty good
Like if I have to say but you know what ends up happening because they realize, you know
They start at both at 100 right and then one starts dipping down to 95 90 percent
So then they drop down to 90 95 percent, but then they drop down to 80 85 percent
And then they drop down to 80 85 percent and then they drop down to 50 and it just this slow
Just kind of a chipping away
Well, they used to say that I love you and now they're not saying as much. Okay. Well, I won't say it
Well, they used to call me a lot but and now they're not calling me now. I'm not going to call them
Well, they used to take me, you know out and tell me that i'm you know special and now i'm not going to do it
No, you just keep your effort level
At a hundred because then they'll probably stay around 90 95 percent
And it makes no sense
To stop doing the best that you possibly can based on their actions
In fact, it's the worst decision you can make is to lower your effort level in your marriage as a husband because you're also the leader
You're also the one you know, that's supposed to be setting the example and you know
Illustrating this and let me give you a few verses to think about. Okay, go to first corinthians chapter 15
Go to first corinthians chapter 15
The bible says iron sharpened with iron, doesn't it?
We see that your actions are going to have a chain reaction
They're going to have a cause and effect on your spouse and you know what iron sharpens iron
So whenever you're putting in a hundred percent effort that's going to encourage your spouse to put in more effort
Whenever you're doing less in the marriage
It's going to motivate them to sometimes do less the bible says be not deceived evil communications corrupt good manners
So you may be doing a lot of good
But your spouse deciding to do evil may end up causing you to dip down
But ultimately you're still in control of yourself
As the man you are in control a hundred percent and you know what you should continue to put everything you have into your marriage
regardless
Of your wife's decisions regardless of how your wife loves you or what she does unto you now first corinthians chapter
Number 15 look at verse number 33. Let me give you another verse to chew on
I'm sorry. That's the same verse be not deceived evil communications go to galatians chapter 6 go to galatians chapter number 6
and
I want to look at another verse here in hebrews 2 galatians chapter 6 look at verse number 7
Be not deceived god is not mocked for whatsoever man soweth
That shall he also reap let me ask you this question if you're not sowing into your marriage
If you're not sowing into your wife, if you're not sowing into your spouse, why would you expect to reap anything good?
Why would you expect to reap any kind of positive reaction or any kind of positive benefits when you're not actually sowing into them?
You know, it makes sense to actually sow grace mercy kindness love appreciation in your spouse because then when it doesn't happen
You're going to reap that you're going to reap that type of reward go to hebrews chapter 10 and look at another verse
So i'm giving you a few verses, you know
I'm kind of giving you a principle and I want to give you a few verses that teach the same similar principle
So that you understand when you do good
For their evil it can have a positive effect it can end up rendering you a very positive benefit
But let's take it to an extreme
Let's say
That you are a hundred percent
And your marriage
your whole life
And your wife's always at a zero
Okay
And you stand before god and you're being judged according to your works
Whenever you're judged do you really want to say to god well my wife was a zero so I was a zero
Or do you want to just say I was a hundred percent?
In fact, let's just take your wife out of the equation. What number do you want to tell god whenever you stand before him?
Isn't it just a hundred percent?
Because look god's not going to judge you and say well, you know what you should have loved your life less
You loved her a little bit too much, buddy
You know, you're a little bit too gracious and a little too kind and you're a little bit too good of a husband
You know, you should have dialed it back a little bit because I understand who you're married to, you know
She you know, I she's like her mother, you know, and we all know where she's at. No, she's good
It's like that's that's a silly way to look at it
You don't you're not going to stand before jesus christ and think like oh, I I wish i'd love my spouse a little bit less
You're not okay, so you might as well give a hundred percent and ignore
Your effort level should ignore their actions your effort level should ignore what they're doing
And in fact, it should only motivate you more the the lesser that they're doing
To do more to try and encourage them to try and provoke them
To do right look what it says in hebrews chapter 10 verse 24
And let us consider one another to provoke
Unto love into good works now. This is specifically about going to church, but it's also even just doing the works of god
But this is the same in a marriage when you love your spouse when you're doing good under your spouse
You're going to provoke them to want to love you back to do good unto you
And to end up rendering that good for good evil for eve or i'm sorry not evil here good for good or blessing for blessing
or forgiveness for
Forgiveness go back to ephesians chapter number five ephesians chapter number five and look what i'm saying right now
Is really easy to understand it's really hard to do
It's really really easy to understand
It's hard to do
And you know again, we need reminders
And we need to get some verses in our mind to think about
And we need to change some habits
And so i'm going to get some practical application later in the sermon, but I just want to teach the principle number one
Husbands need to love their wives. You know, the bible is crystal clear on this
It's a commandment and really we're supposed to be that same representative that
God is to us as we are to our wives ephesians chapter five verse 26
That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word
That he might present it to himself a glorious church not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing
But that it should be holding without blemish. So what men to love their wives as their own bodies he that loveth his wife loveth himself
For no man ever yet hated his own flesh
But nourishes and cherishes it even as the lord the church for we are members of his body
Of his flesh and of his bones. So the bible tells us
That your wife is like an extension of yourself. You become one flesh and as much care appreciation
And tender love as you give to your own flesh. You should be willing to give to your spouse
And it's saying no man ever yet hates his own flesh
Obviously, you know, there's people that try to inflict pain on themselves, but you know, they're sadistic and they have problems
Okay, and they don't like it. It's very difficult to hurt yourself
In fact, many people try to hurt themselves and they end up failing because it's just so difficult to do. It's so unnatural
Okay, because the natural inclination is to love yourself to appreciate yourself and whenever you're hurting you baby it
You know if your leg's hurting you baby your leg you baby your arm, you know kids want to put a band-aid on every single boo-boo
You know you wash yourself you clean yourself
Why because you want to take care of your body in any part that's hurting
You're going to try and address that it's going to get a lot of attention and focus whenever it's causing pain
You should do that with your spouse
You should care about what your spouse feels like and what's going on in their life
And you should want to love them like you would your own body and give them extra special attention
When there's some kind of a problem when there's some way that they're hurting or there's some kind of a difficulty
And the bible's showing us here that just like christ loves the church. We're supposed to love our wives
You know another way that you could illustrate this love is through the sacrifice, right?
Didn't jesus christ sacri sacrifice himself for the church and so men ought to sacrifice
Themselves for their wives and for their good and for their benefit and to love and appreciate them and I like this word cherish
You know
I'm going to get into a lot of practical application
But but marriage is not a checklist marriage is not
Something that
It's just like okay if I do these five things i'm good, you know, I I said I love you
I sent a text. I love you and I mailed some flowers. We're good, you know
It's really that in your heart you truly cherish your spouse and really when you truly cherish your spouse deep down in your heart
Most of these things you'll do all you'll do automatically it'll just happen because you truly cherish it
You know the things that you truly cherish
You end up appreciating loving spending time and and caring for you know, men cherish a lot of different things today
What do they cherish the super bowl trophy, right?
They love it and they cry about it and they care about it so much and they kiss it
I mean look
You don't have to I I don't have to tell the guys that win the super bowl kiss the trophy
They're making out with the thing on their own
Okay, and here's the reality a man who loves his wife
You don't have to tell you don't have to force him to be affectionate towards his spouse. Why because he wants to
Right. And so the end of the day if you're having problems loving your wife
It's probably just don't cherish her enough deep down into your heart
And what does cherish cherish is to hold dear feel or show affection for?
or to cultivate with care and affection nurture
And you know, you need to end up trying to cherish your wife and your spouse realize this woman has made a vow to god
That she's going to love you for better for worse for richer for poorer which most of you probably on the latter end. I'm just kidding
It's probably not like you're not you know, the the wealthiest guy. You're not the best looking guy
You've probably you know, I've seen some of your pictures when you got married. You look a little bit better
You know, you're a little bit more studly
You know you've gained a little bit of weight seems like you're cherishing your belly a little bit more than your wife
You know
I see where your love's at and at the end of the day
You know, we need to cherish our wives and realize their value and their importance in our life
And we need to be thinking about them. You know, you also made a vow to love your spouse
You made a vow before god and you are to cherish them and to hold them to a high level of respect
And whenever you cherish something you're not going to just take it lightly
You're going to be thinking about it. It's going to motivate you but another thing it says here is nourish, right?
And nourish is an important word and it leads me to my second point is this men not only need to love their wives
They need to lead their wives. They need to lead
Their wives and nourishing is an aspect of leading. Okay, because nourishing is providing for it's giving substance to
And you know, there's a lot of ways the Bible use word nourish
It's a lot of times in relation to a mother, you know, giving nourish when you're not in a relationship
Giving nourishment into a child or something similar
But it also is used in a spiritual connotation go if you would to first timothy chap number four first timothy chap number four
Obviously men need to provide for their family, you know, that's the first nourishment and you know what a hungry wife is not a happy
Wife, okay, so you want to make sure she's got some food, especially if she's with child because that child gets angry
You know inside and it wants some food and you need to make sure that she has some food, right?
You need to provide for her you need to take care of her physical carnal needs you need to nourish her but
More importantly you also need to do this spiritually look at first timothy
Chapter number four verse six the bible says if thou put the breath in remembrance of these things thou shalt be a good minister
of jesus christ
Nourished up in the words of faith and of good doctrine wherein to thou hast obtained now the bible is saying for a pastor
He needs to have already been nourished
He needs to have already, you know eaten and consumed the word of god and grown up and has this good faith and this good doctrine
Why so then he can nourish the congregation?
And ultimately every man every husband is also a minister of his family. He is the steward of his family
He is the priest of his household. And so it's his job to nourish his wife and to nourish his children
Spiritually and notice what the words of faith that's the bible
That's the word of god
We need men today to nourish their wives with the bible with the words of god to teach them the bible
Make your wife new ifb
Make your wife new ifb make your wife an independent fundamental baptist make your wife a baptist make your wife king
James only make your wife be a sole winner make your wife
Look, you're supposed to lead your wife to believe the doctrine, you know
It's not satisfactory to me if my wife makes all the decisions she does in her life because i'm forcing her
It's satisfactory to me when she makes all the decisions in her life because she wants to
I don't want my wife to use a king james bible because I force her
I want her because she thinks it's the right bible to use
I don't want my wife to come to this church because i'm forcing her I want her because she likes this church
You know
I don't want my wife to have lots of children because i'm forcing her to I want her to want to have
Children the decisions that my wife makes I want her to believe they're what the bible is teaching
which of course, you know, there's going to be a lot of
Things that you have to make sure you're right on because if you're going to have this principle
Then you better be basing it on the bible
You know if you want your wife to truly believe them
Then they better be biblical because if you're trying to force your wife to believe something that's not biblical
That's going to be difficult
But you know what when you have the truth on your side
When you believe things that are right when you already have the right doctrines and the right bible and the right gospel
You know what? It should be easy to end up leading your wife into the truth
And you know what you need to lead your wife
And look a baby
Is not going to eat steak
It's not you try to give it to it. It will it may
You know nibble on it. It's going to spit it out. I mean it'll eat paper
It'll eat gum. It'll eat anything rocks. It'll eat tree. I mean a tree bark
I mean i'll eat anything but it won't eat steak and you're just like what's wrong with you. Okay, there's nothing wrong with the baby
It's just the baby needs to be nourished
The baby needs to grow up and you know what when you start small and you start nourishing it and you start giving it
The appropriate foods and the appropriate nourishment and it grows up then you can start feeding it steak and you know
What it's gonna like steak
Okay, I guarantee. All right, you nourish up a child correctly and you teach them the right dog. You're in texas
Okay, it's all right. You nourish them up, right? They're gonna like steak
Okay, and stop being so worried about them liking steak
The problem is maybe you're just not nourishing them to the point where they like steak yet
Okay, and when it comes to a wife you say oh my wife doesn't like some of the things that we're doing
Okay, well nourish her up because I guarantee she'll like it
It's the truth. It's the word of god
It's what god has designed them to do and to like and you know what you try and offer the spiritual state today
To to the world's women. They don't like it. They don't want it. They can't chew on it
They don't they're not ready for that
But you know what if they were nourished up in the words of faith, they would end up liking the steak
Because it's what god has designed, you know, this soy stuff the impossible burger is not good
You know if you convinced yourself and tricked yourself into eating the soy, you know, and eating the tofu
Tofu is gross
Tofu it's like it's so weird. It's like wet styrofoam or something and it's like why would you eat this?
You know and that's what the world's eating today. They're eating wet styrofoam today and it's like have you ever had steak, you know
And it's just they're just ignorant. They're foolish
You need to nourish them and you know wean them off of the garbage today
Off of the things that you know, they don't need and get them onto the strong meat
And you know what? They'll like it, but it takes a leader
And let me tell you how you lead stop asking your wife what she wants
And just make decisions
Stop asking look a leader
It doesn't make very much sense if when i'm you know leading the pack i'm like, where are we going?
Hey guys, where are we going to go? You know, i'm going to drive us into a ditch
You know the tip of the spear the leader is just like we're going here
And that's where follow me as I follow christ follow me. Look it doesn't make sense
To ask the follower what you're going to do
What's what they like no you're just supposed to lead and look a good leader is going to think about what they probably
need
Or even sometimes may want and then go there and do that. But at the end of the day the leader needs to lead
And i'm telling you what if you're asking your wife what to do in your life. You've already failed
Step one just lead and look i'd rather lead to not the best place
Than to be the follower
You know, you need to just lead and you need to start making the decisions in your life
And making decisions for your wife and you say well that doesn't sound very kind look that's
What you that's what she wants at the end of the day. You just don't realize it
Okay, go to first corinthians chapter 11 go to first corinthians. Let me give you some verses here
But you need to be a leader today and i'm telling you how to improve your marriage. You want to improve your marriage?
Love your wife
You want to improve your marriage lead your wife?
She wants you to lead
You know why your wife can't make a decision because you're not leading
She wasn't supposed to make the decision anyways
Just stop asking her and just start leading
Then you'll have a lot less problems whatever you're trying to ask the follower where to go and what to do
It's just gonna you know, it's frustrating and you know, they'll call me misogynistic or whatever
But women are supposed to be at the home number one
But in the workplace whenever i'd had women managers, they can't make a decision
It was so frustrating
And you would end up making all kinds of bad decisions or end up not making a decision in time
Because women are not natural born leaders
It's unnatural for a woman to get that frame of mind or put herself in that position
And i'm not saying it's impossible. But what I am saying is just generally speaking women are not the same as men in leadership
Men need to be the leader
And you know what i'm sure plenty of women could make good decisions at the end of the day
But you know what who can make a better decision the husband, you know who can make the best decisions the man
And so the man is supposed to be the one leading and making decisions. That's what god ordained
Don't get mad at me for saying that that's what god chose
And you know what? I think god's smarter than me
Okay, look at first corinthians chapter 11 verse 3
But I would have you know that the head of every man is christ and the head of the woman is the man
And the head of christ is god god ordained it that men were over women. They are their head
They are the one and you know what the head does it makes decisions
Go if you would to first corinthians 9 just back up a few pages
first corinthians 9 verse 3 mine answer to them that do examine me in this have we not power to eat and to drink
Have we not power notice this to lead?
About a sister so notice how paul describes marriage
leading a sister
He doesn't say hey, we're joint. We're joint, uh co-captains here, you know, i'm driving 50 she's driving 50
No, he says marriage is me leading a sister
Leading a woman around telling her where we're going and and putting her there go to first timby chapter number two first timby chapter two
Well, I I don't like your opinion because you know i'm really good at leading and managing and i'm a woman
Okay. Well, you know the bible says in verse timothy chapter two
Look at what it says in verse number 12. Let's let's go back up in verse verse 11
Let the woman learn his silence with all subjection
But I suffer not a woman to teach nor to usurp authority over the man but to be in silence
Is that my opinion? No, it's god's opinion. He says look women are not supposed to be leading men
It's foolishness
You know in our country today is full of women leading men
And you know what our country is doomed
Obviously if you know we enter into the end times pretty soon america, we won't see the fall of america
You know the way that other civilizations have fallen. It'll be a much quicker falling. Okay, it'll be a much quicker destruction
It'll be a little bit different
but
On the course that america is at with all the women in leadership
With all the sodomites and the homos and leadership today
Look, it would blow your mind if you knew how many sodomites are in positions of leadership today
It's virtually everywhere and lots of times it's these women
You know, it's a lot of these women that are you know in charge are dykes and you know, they're feminazis and whatever
And the way we're headed is utter destruction
Do you really expect me to believe that the chinese government is thinking like oh man
We should be terrified of all these women leaders in america
You think that china is really confused on the difference between men and women or do you think that their military is full of men
You really expect me look
We're so stupid. We're so foolish. We have men competing in women's sports today
And then they get a trophy for it
Why because our society is brain dead our society is wicked and it's so evil
It's incredible to me how christians aren't waking up
It's incredible to me how people still think that things are normal today when nothing's normal
Nothing is saying
Nothing is going look even the world itself. It's like trying to make it's like, you know
There's a difference between men and women we've done all these scientific studies and we have all the you know
We've done all the testosterone levels look to compete in the olympics
You have to have had like a certain level of testosterone
For like an entire year
And you know to compete in the ncaa you have to have had certain like, uh hormone therapy
Or some kind of a surgery or whatever and it's like dude a man's a man
It's that easy
A woman is a woman. It's that easy. I don't even have to check the hormones. It's called. Do you have a privy member?
And look if your privy member gets injured or removed you're still a dude
You're just not as much of a dude anymore. Okay, you're a little bit less of a dude, you know, maybe that's not your fault
Maybe you're like a daniel or whatever, but at the end of the day, you know what?
You know what it's so silly to try and use logic reasoning and science with these people
It's a spiritual deception today. And when you have women leading in any capacity, it's utter nonsense
It's utter foolishness. They give lip service to you know, being a godly person or being you know
Really caring or whatever, but they make bad decisions and you know
And I know that no one in this room would want one of these wicked women mayor governors to be over us
You know, I noticed that the republican party seems to constantly try and find like their you know model woman, you know representative and i'm like
She's a woman
I don't want nicky haley
You know, I don't I don't care what I don't want sarah palin
I don't want a woman, you know
I want a real man today and it's sad that they have to go find a woman that has morals
A woman that has any kind of values a woman that has a kind of a backbone. Where's the men today?
And you know what? We mean men to lead
We need a man to stand up and decide to lead in this country
But you know what? We're never going to have it. But what kind of foolishness does it make to put that same model in your marriage?
Are you are you taking after the world
Are you wanting the hillary clinton to run the country then? Why are you letting a rule rule your home?
Rule your decision making you know, it doesn't make any sense and you talk to men today
Hey, do you really want a woman to be in charge of the country?
No, do you want a woman to be your boss? No, do you want a woman to be in charge of anything?
They're like no and then it's like well, how about at home?
Oops
Well, I have to ask my wife about that when I get home see if it's okay
I don't I don't feel comfortable having this discussion. She might get mad at me
but
Tough
You know, i'm sure that employees don't like every decision of their manager
Of their employer, but you know what tough?
You know, it's a bad day. You know, your wife isn't able to form a union against you. Okay?
It's just your way or the highway
Okay
Go to first corinthians chapter 14 first corinthians chapter 14
And you know you start talking about this and people just start thinking like I don't know if that's right
Look the bible is right
God's word is always right
And you know anything contrary is always stupid. It's foolishness. It's folly and you know what the women in our country will destroy it
Women in our country are destroying it and we're just
You know going to have to live with those consequences
But you know praise god that he can protect his people no matter what happens around them
You know what this whole country could just be utterly a wasteland, but god's people could still thrive
You know why because we're not going to be like them, but you know what if you model your marriage like the world it'll fail
If you if you model your life after the world, it'll fail
Hey, if we model our church after the world today, it'll fail today
But you know what you model your life after the word of god and it'll stand and you know what?
It's going to be tough days for the lazy. It's going to be tough days for the ungodly
It's going to be tough days for the feminists and the the pro-lgbt people but you know what for god's people it can still be successful
And you know what there's still you know, you say all the economy's being destroyed well, you know, that's going to really hurt the lazy
You know, that's going to really hurt the ungodly and the guy that lies and is lazy and doesn't work hard and is foolish
And stupid he can't even tell the difference between a man and a woman
you know, it's funny because uh
You know, sometimes I just do this for fun
but I was looking at this like contract job thing or whatever and I was just kind of in I was just kind of like
for programming or something like that and
I saw they had this like test or whatever you could take and so I just took this it was like a competency test
Basically, see how uh smart you are if they want to hire you
Well, they had all these questions and they were just logic questions. They were like, hey pick the two statements
That end up making a true statement. Okay, and it would it would say like, you know
Jan is five years old and jan's married to bill and it would be like pick the two statements
Pick the two statements that if you read them together jan is the wife of of tom or whatever
Jan is the wife of tom and so you'd have to try and pick two different statements
But I was thinking of it while I was reading this
I was like you have to use logic reasoning and you have to be right to get this right
The leftists who believe that a man is a woman they can't even get any of that, right?
Well, I don't know if jan's even a woman or a dude here. This is like, you know
They they can't even use simple logic to answer these questions
Just the fact that you know that a man is a man and that one plus one equals two today
You know what? It's going to help you in the workforce because the guy that cares about money
He still wants someone with a brain in his head to operate his machinery
He still wants someone that's going to show up and not going to you know
Lie to him and he's not going to constantly threaten him with a lawsuit every time he does something wrong like the fags will
Okay, he just wants a normal person to get the job done and you know what the godly was to shine like the sun
You know, even in the most wicked worlds of our past christians always rose to the top
Why because they're the smartest and hardest working people?
That's a little bit of side note here, but i'm telling you men need to lead the day
In the world and in your house and when you lead in your house people will look and they say wow
I wish my wife would obey me
I wish I could tell my wife what to do
And she wasn't mad at me about it
I wish I could lead my wife. I wish I could you know guide my wife and they say how do you get that done?
Oh because we believe the bible in our house
Oh because I actually nourish her with the word of god because I actually teach her the bible
And because we're actually a godly family and they're going to look at that and they're going to be envious of the relationship
You have with your wife today
They say oh i'm on my seventh wife
You know, oh man, I can't even keep a job down. I can't even get a family down
I've got visitation rights, you know four times this christmas
And it's like i'd rather just hey, we're just celebrating at home with our family
Don't go the way of the world
First going to chapter 14 look at verse 33 for god is not the author of confusion
But of peace as in all churches of the saints let your women keep silence in the churches for it is not permitted
Under them to speak but they are commanded to be under obedience as also sayeth the law and if they will learn anything
Let them ask their husbands at home. Look you need to teach your wife
The bible says when your wife has a question, you should answer it. You should be a
a man of answers today
A man of knowledge a man of wisdom a man who she wants to ask questions
Go through a diffusions five go back
And in chapter five verse 24 it said therefore as the church is subject unto christ
So let their wives be to their own husbands and everything if your wife's going to be subject in everything
You know that tells me you need to tell her what to do
in everything
How can she be obedient in everything if you're not even telling her what to do in everything
The only way for your wife to be obedient to you in everything is for you to tell her what to do in everything
And you know what we need men today to tell their wives what to do and you say oh you're so mean and oh
You're so evil. You know what the things I tell my wife to do she wants to do
I'm like look when I go to work. I'm not going to be like you can't tell me what to do boss
He's going to fire me
What if I i'm not going to say god
Don't tell me what to do today
How blasphemous right?
In the same way that I have I treat god
It's going to be oftentimes the same way that my wife's going to treat me
And when I look at god's word and I just say oh you can't tell me what to do
I don't want to do that. I'll just ignore that one
And when your wife sees how you submit to god oftentimes that's going to be how she submits to you
You say well my wife doesn't submit to me at all. Why are you submitting to god?
Are you just a big hypocrite?
Well, I mean I go to church
But then you know when i'm not at church i'm a horrible person
Okay. Well, I guess maybe your wife can do that too
She can come to church and pretend like she's a good wife. But then when you're not at church, she's a horrible person, too
She's a horrible person, too
Because guess what oftentimes when you lead in a bad example your spouse will also follow in a bad example
When you're leading in a good example, you're giving her the opportunity to be in a good example
Look at verse 31
Last one I have and then i'm going to get a couple practical applications
verse 31 for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined into his wife and they too
Shall be one flesh
This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning christ in the church nevertheless
Let every one of you in particular. So love his wife even as himself and the wife see that she reverence her husband
So the bible says that something very important you need to leave his father and his mother
You need to leave his father and his mother. I feel like I could scream these words and people won't listen
You know god said this a lot
And i'm going to make you go there go to genesis chapter two go to genesis
He said you're supposed to leave. So what are you supposed to do? You need to love your wife
You need to leave your wife and you need to leave your parents
Leave your parents and this is in a lot of ways not even just physically, okay
You know, this is the authoritarian in town when you get married you
not dad
Not your dad not her dad you
You need to leave you need to become the man in your relationship
And i'm telling you if you want to improve your marriage today, you have to leave
Okay, and i'm not saying that you can't both interact with one another or see each other, you know
Even on a semi-regular basis, but you know what it needs to feel like you left
Needs to feel like you left and i'll get some practical application but let's see the bible genesis chapter 2 verse 24
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh
Go to matthew chapter 19 matthew chapter number 19
In the new testament, so we have ephishians chapter 5 saying hey
You need to leave your father and your mother one of the first things mentioned in the bible that you need to leave your father
And your mother go to matthew. We're going to see jesus christ even saying this matthew 19
verse number four
And he answered and said unto them
Have you not read that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female and said for this cause shall a man leave
Father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and they twain shall be one flesh
Wherefore they are no more twain but one flesh what therefore god hath joined together
Let not man put asunder so we have in genesis god saying leave father and mother we have in matthew
Jesus christ saying leave father and mother we had an ephishian leave father and mother. Hey go to mark
Go to mark
Let me ask you this question
How many times does the bible?
Reiterate the same commandment. It's not that often
I mean sometimes it will but i'm just saying like when it's saying it three four five six like verbatim
Don't you think it's like maybe I should pay attention to that one
Right. I mean there's lots of commandments that are only found one time
You know, how about tattoos tattoo, you know?
That's not pretty marks on my body, you know
That's one time and you know what to some people would be like getting a tattoo is like horrible
You mean to me i've always thought it was terrible and I never wanted one. I think they're weird
but at the end of the day like
some people
They'll they'll have no problem saying no tattoo, but they'll live with mom and dad
And it's like well, this one's mentioned so many more times and even by jesus christ himself, you know
You can't escape this one. You know, the people are like, well i'm red letter only. Uh, it's in matthew and mark
Okay, well i'm paul only. Well, it's ephisians
Why i'm old testament oh, it's in tennesis
It's like I don't know which how do you escape this one? I'm like i'm david only, you know
It's like i'm sure I can find it. Okay, buddy
Don't pressure me mark chapter 10. Look at verse number six
Mark chapter number 10 look at verse six
But from the beginning of the creation god made them male and female for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother
And cleave to his wife and they twain shall be one flesh
So then they are no more twain, but one flesh what therefore god has joined together
Let not man put us under look. It's a really important thing that you leave
mom and dad
physically
emotionally
spiritually
all of it
You become your own and i'll tell you what if you really really really really want to improve your marriage
And you haven't done this this will dramatically improve your marriage
It'll dramatically improve your marriage because why because now all of a sudden a lot of the emotional support knowledge
Information that you were getting from mom and dad or whatever has to be transferred to someone and you're going to transfer it to
your spouse
And is you're going to put more into your relationship you're going to put more you're going to lean into each other more
And you're going to grow closer together more, you know, if you're just with your parents
It's natural that you're going to get enjoyment
Knowledge time camaraderie fellowship all that from them
And that's okay, that's why it's important to leave so then you're giving it to your spouse
So you're you're blessing your spouse and you're getting closer to your spouse and becoming more intimate with your spouse
When you're just around the parents all the time, you know what you're just going to feel like brother and sister
It's going to be weird
You're not going to have the same fondness. You're not going to have the same kind of intimacy
You're not going to have the same kind of relationship when you're just living in the basement of mom
And
Mom's cooking your meals and mom's doing the laundry and mom's telling you where to go
Hey, you need to man up and leave
And cleave leave and cleave and your spouse
Now
I've taught you the principles. What are the three principles love?
lead
leave
Okay, if you do these things you will improve your marriage
But sometimes people hear this and it means nothing to them
So i'm going to give you some really really specific statements
In these three areas so that you can know what that looks like practically, okay
I have 25 practical tips and i'm not going to give you a lot of you know commentary on all these
I'm, just going to kind of read the statement. Okay
Let's focus on love for a moment. Again. We've gone we're doing full circle love lead
Leave all right
statement number one
Love your wife and let her know it
Love your wife and let her know it and what does that mean? I love you
You should say these words to your spouse often
On a regular basis, I love you and you know what when you start saying things it ends up changing your attitude
It ends up changing your perspective
You should tell your spouse that you love her that you think that she's beautiful that you like being around her
You should say positive things to your wife all the time
Let her know it don't have secret love in your relationship number two be thoughtful and expressive to your wife bring her flowers perfume
chocolates
milkshakes
Whatever
She likes it and even if she says oh you didn't have to do that for me don't listen to her listen to me
Lead
Be thoughtful and expressive to your wife demonstrate your love through action
Number three be gentle in all of your dealings with your wife. Never be harsh or physically abusive
And look you should just be kind and gentle to your spouse. You should love your spouse. You should never
Physically hurt them because you're stronger than they are
you know
They should never be reciprocated with physical pain and you know what that is going to destroy intimacy in your relationship
Be gentle with your wife treat her like you would a newborn baby, you know
You're not going to be harsh with a newborn baby. You're going to be gentle and nurturing and cherishing
That's how you should be with your wife
Be someone that she loves to come with to and and even has problems
And you're not going to hurt her or harm her physically or emotionally or spiritually
Number four do not brag about another lady
Man that one needs a whole sermon
Go to job 31 for a moment though. I'll have you go to a couple places job 31. How many losers?
In their garage. They have a pent-up girl in the garage
They have the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader
Calendar
Hey, they love to talk about how beautiful all the celebrities are. Oh, man
Did you see this film so-and-so looks so hot and so attractive and oh man, I'd really like to be with her
You should never utter these words ever
Never talk about another lady in that way never brag about other ladies
Even if it's not even physical pair just like well, she's a really good cook
I'm telling you how to improve your marriage. Okay, never say this
Never say well, she looked really good today and I really liked her hair and she looks really nice and you know
Why don't you wear something like that? Why don't you ever dress like that?
Why don't you ever go and do that people will say this stuff and I cringe so hard when I hear it
I'm, just thinking like what what dude you're not scoring points with yourself here
Don't brag on other ladies. Don't talk about other ladies
You know when you get the song of Solomon and i'm not having to turn here i'll read for you
The bible says there are three score queens and four score queens
There are three score queens and four score concubines and virgins without number my dove mine defiles, but one
She is the only one of her mother
She is the choice one of her that bear her the daughter saw her and blessed her
Yay, the queens and the concubines and they praised her when the husband is talking about his wife. He says there's no one like her
You know, he's bragging on her
He said hey, there's all these other women, but it's her she's the choice one
She's the one look you married her
You know part of the vow when we do a vow here is forsaking all others
You know what? It means to forsake
To just completely abandon get rid of have nothing to do with
Look, once you got married you kissed every other relationship with a woman. Goodbye
Bye
Gone, even mom say bye to mom
Say bye to all the cheerleaders
Say bye to all the ex-girlfriends say bye to all the hollywood whores today
They're probably not even interested in you. Anyways
They're interested in women or whatever
Okay
They're all a bunch of dykes and freaks. Anyways, they might even be a dude. You don't even know
Even worse
Look you should never brag about another lady. Look what it says in joe 31 verse 1. I made a covenant with mine eyes
Why then should I think upon a maid?
He said he doesn't he tries not even to think about another woman and look obviously we're men it's impossible
To avoid these type of sins, but you need to do your best
And you certainly should not let it come out of your mouth. And you know what comes out of your mouth what you're thinking about
So if you can stop yourself from thinking it it's going to be really easy to control your tongue
But you know what when you're thinking about it all the time
It's going to be really hard because it's going to start pouring out of your mouth
It's going to start infecting your heart, you know, you should be thinking about your wife all day
And thinking about what she does for you and cherishing her
Number five keep appointments with your wife
Even points with your wife
You want to improve your marriage honor your word with your wife
Number six come home from work at the time expected
If not possible call as soon as you can
I'm telling you you want to improve your marriage come home at the time expected
And if you can't for whatever reason things happen
Maybe you have to stay at work late or whatever let her know value her time value her emotions
Number seven hold your relationship with your wife very sacred do not reveal it to others
Use discretion, you know the things that are between you and your wife should be between you and your wife
And you know a lot of people say like oh, of course
Yeah, but guys will like to talk to their buddy
And even sometimes women do this they talk to so-and-so or they talk to their dad
Or they talk to their brother or they talk to whatever don't share the things that are going on in your relationship with your spouse
to anybody
Good or bad
Especially not bad, but you know, not even you know, it's a sacred relationship. It's a secret between you two
You know the in song of solomon
It's like this garden and it's like there's a lot of this mystery and there's these special things between them
You know the more you make your marriage special the more special it will be
The more you just put on display, you know, these people that have their uh whole lives broadcasted on tv like duck dynasty
Your relation is not special anymore. Just fake
You're not real, you know, don't broadcast everything and make it public make it private. Okay?
Number eight eat out with your wife at least once a week
Now if that's not financially possible, that's not something you can do cook for her
And look the reason why you take your wife out is so that she doesn't have to do what?
Plan cook clean deal with everything. Okay
So if you can't afford it, then you just cook clean plan and coordinate
You know what do it once a week you say do I have to do that?
I'm giving you practical tips to improve your marriage. You want to improve your marriage?
And you say well, I can't cook. Well, it sounds like you need to make a few extra bucks and just take her out
And I didn't even say take her out to the to the nice restaurant just take her out, okay you get to pick
Subpoint don't ask her where you're going number nine
Have fun with your wife
Here's a statement couples that pray together stay together
Or couples that pray together and play together stay together. And here's another one just subpoint of this pray for your wife
You want to improve your marriage pray for your wife?
Get your affections on her
Number 10 help her in some of the household duties
Did I have to do that? No
I'm telling you how to improve your marriage
Help with the household duties every once in a while, you know, jesus watched the disciples feet. Did he have to
He said for us to do likewise even
If you can walk look I would way rather clean some dishes than dylan's feet
I
Come on, you know, I'd rather, you know, give my wife a pedicure than dylan
That'd be weird and don't pry quit. I hope
Number 11 be interested in what your wife's activities were for the day
Find out about how many times the kids vomited and she had to clean it up or whatever, you know
Or whatever she does whatever she did, you know be interested in your wife
That's in the love category lead category number 12 assume your place of leadership in the home
You know in order to lead you actually have to lead
Pretty self-explanatory, but sometimes you need that you are the authoritarian be the authoritarian number 13 lead in spiritual activities
Say grace at the table lead the family devotions come to church with your family
Some men don't even come to church with their families a shame number 14 be as pleasant as possible at home
Be as pleasant as possible at home
Make home a sanctuary today not a venting arena
Make it a sanctuary not a venting arena
Number 15 go shopping together
Enjoy the commonplace things of life with each other now again
I personally hate shopping
I'm telling you though how to improve your marriage and you know, you improve your marriage doing things that they like and
You know what if you take her out shopping every once in a while of your own volition of your own record
Maybe she won't ask you to take her shopping
Okay, and again, you're supposed to lead number 16 never criticize her parents
And when you don't criticize her parents you're setting the example for her to not criticize
Your parents
17 be intimate with your wife
You know the Bible says let the husband render under the wife do benevolence and likewise also the wife and the husband
So according to the Bible, you know, you need to be intimate with your wife and you would sound oh, that's easy
You know, it sounds easy
But there's lots of men actually struggle in that area and they need to make an effort and you know why they struggle in this area
Because of all the other things I was talking about because they got the Dallas Cowboys
Calendar because they were thinking about McDonald's on the way to home
You know
Instead of thinking about what's cooking at home. They're thinking about McDonald's today
Hey, you know what McDonald's, you know may taste good in the in the moment
But it's you know, no one's like i'm really glad I had McDonald's afterwards or Taco Bell afterwards, you know, it's terrible
You know, you're gonna be satisfied with meals at home. You know what you need to eat at home
18 do not take the children's side when your wife disciplines them
Stay together discipline. If you don't like your wife's discipline you tell her privately not in front of the children
Number 19 let the past be the past
Hey, if you've forgiven your wife on something you're supposed to forget it
And whatever grievances is that look the Bible said not to be bitter against them. Remember?
Number 20 don't be alone with the opposite gender
And that's not even just for temptation even accusation
You don't want to have the wrong and you don't so don't want you just don't want to
Maybe your wife sees you with another woman or finds out about it
It could destroy your heart a little bit even if it was innocent
Even if there was nothing weird about it
Okay, she's just like, you know, you haven't taken her on a date for a month and you take a co-worker out to lunch
That'll really cause a lot of problems
Now it's a work party and you're all going you're all with your co-workers
It's going to be more understandable you go out to lunch with another lady
You're setting yourself up for a lot of problems, buddy
number 21
husband should handle the finances
and
You know give your wife a little extra in her budget now, let me say this when it comes to handling the finances
I i'm not saying that the wife can't do the the work but the husband should still be the overseer of that work
even if you want your wife to help do the daily labor of the finances whether that's going to the bank or
You know even putting together a spreadsheet or paying a bill here and there that's fine
But at the end of the day the husband needs to be the one that knows what's going on in the finances
He's making the decisions about the finances
He's setting up the budgets for the family and the home and he knows what he's doing
And if your wife is better than you at the finances then ask her to teach you
How to do the finances and then lead the finances or learn or go find out how to do the finances and do it
22 don't be preoccupied when at home
You want to improve your marriage give her attention
Don't give youtube attention
It doesn't need your attention
The chinese government already knows what you're like, okay
You're already on a list
I have a few more
Let's go to the leave category
23 be your wife's hero. Not her dad
Be your wife's hero. Not her dad now in order for you to be your wife's hero. You need to be better than her dad
And you say well i'm not well then get better
Don't be like well my dad could fix this
My dad would know this answer
My dad could you know show me how to shoot a gun my dad could you know grill a steak my dad could
You know, whatever dad can do you're gonna do
And you become your wife's hero that will improve your marriage
Because you need to leave father and mother and you need to become father you need to become husband you need to become man
Okay, man up today. Quit being a soy boy. Well, i'm really good at xbox and call of duty
Yeah, my dad didn't do that
It's like okay. Well, I need to not do that then grow up 24 provide for your family without the parents
If you're not providing all the income, it's daddy that's providing income. You're not a man
You need to leave
And you need to provide for your home
And you know what you need to be the provider and when you're not the provider it's going to cause problems in your marriage
Hey, you want to improve your marriage be the provider?
provide for needs
Here's the last one provide answers not dad
You want when your wife has a problem. She's like i'm not going to call dad. I'm going to call my husband
Because he's got the answers he knows what we're going to do
What's the title of the sermon how men can improve their marriage how men can improve marriage you say I don't agree
With every single thing you said well agree with the bible
And then I clearly showed you from the bible that you're supposed to love your wife supposed to lead your wife
And you're supposed to leave father and mother and I gave you some practical tips. I think that you're supposed to be a father and mother
And you're supposed to leave father and mother and I gave you some practical tips
I think that they're in line with the principles of the bible and I think that if you employ a few of those
You will improve your marriage and at the end of the day, you know, it takes two to tango
But even if your wife is the worst wife in the world, you could still be the best husband in the world
There's nothing stopping you and you know what even though some people on this planet are the worst people god's still the best god
God didn't change how good he was
God didn't change his sacrifice
And you know what? We're supposed to be holy like he's holy and separate like he's he's separated
And I pray that people would really emphasize marriage because marriage
You know while it's not the most important thing serving god's the most important thing
It's usually really connected to the rest of your life. You have a bad marriage. You're going to hurt at work
You're going to hurt with your kids and you'll even hurt at church in many cases
And so it's important to you know, foster this relationship
And build this relationship and you know what this relationship get better over time
Your marriage can can continually get better and better and better and we should strive to improve our marriages. Let's close in prayer
Thank you father so much for this
These chapters of the bible that we were able to read and for the instructions you've given us and thank you for the example you set
And showing love grace and mercy unto us and I pray as husbands as uh fathers as men in this room
That we would take from your example and we would strive to be better husbands better
fathers better men
That we learn how to love our wives
We learn how to lead our families and that we learn how to leave and to be our own independent
Family unit and I pray that you would give us strength that you give us boldness and courage
Even though the world's trying to tear apart the family that through your principle in your word
We can grow an even stronger family in jesus name. We pray amen
You
Song number 472. This is my father's world
This is my father's world
Oh rocks and trees of skies and seas
This is my father's world
The birds their carols raise
The morning light the hallely white declared their maker's praise
This is my father's world
He shines in all that's fair
In the rustling grass, I hear him pass. He speaks to me everywhere
This is my father's world
Oh, let me ne'er forget
That though the wrong sings off so strong god is a roller yet
This is my father's world
The battle is not done
Jesus who died shall be satisfied
And earth and him be one
Amen. Thank you all for coming this morning. You are dismissed. We're having another service at one just to let you know god bless
You
So
You