Look at verse number 14 where we read the Bible says
You are my friends if you do whatsoever
I command you if you do it, so ever I command you in the title of my sermon this evening
Is this boss first buddy second boss first buddy?
Second and it's gonna be pretty consistent with the theme we had this morning
But it's gonna be a lot of different information here
But I this I think is a very important truth that we understand what do I mean by boss first buddy?
Second well when we look at John chapter 15 verse 14, we notice that friendship is conditional
We notice that friendship is not automatic with the Lord Jesus Christ. There is a condition upon which that friendship is
basically permeating and it's from following commandments and
Jesus Christ is not one who shies away from a boss first type mentality
The Lord is the Lord and he wants to be your friend
But that friendship comes with serving him and following his commandments and he's not willing to
Sacrifice him being your boss or your Lord by just being your buddy
The Lord is not just gonna be your buddy just to be your buddy. No, he's first your Lord
No, he's first your boss and we should give him that type of respect go to John chapter 6 go back
To John chapter 6 now. What is a boss a boss is a person in charge of a worker or an organization?
You know as the person that's making the decisions is the person that's ruling it's the person that's leading and we understand that's God
God is the boss. God is the one in charge and he has a boss first type mentality
And yeah, of course, he's our friend
But here's the thing if you get out of line, even though you're God's friend, you know, it's gonna come out the boss
the boss is gonna come out the Lord's gonna come out and he's gonna deal with you and you're gonna be
punished and there's gonna be consequences to your
Disbehavior or your disobedience now Jesus Christ when he preached he did not
Worry about if he was gonna lose friends over his preaching. Okay, John chapter 6 looking for 61 the Bible reads
When Jesus knew it himself that his disciples murmured at it. He said unto them doth this offend you
So he realized his disciples are a little bit upset about something that he preached, you know, they're there can't really handle it
It's like hey, does this offend you he says in verse 62?
What an if you shall see the Son of Man ascend up where he was before
It is the spirit that quickeneth the flesh profit of nothing the words that I speak on you
They are spirit and they are life
But there are some of you that believe not for Jesus knew from the beginning
Who they were that believed not and who should betray him and he said therefore said I unto you
That no man can come unto me except or given unto him of my father from that time
Many of his disciples went back and walked no more with them
That's interesting. Jesus Christ is literally preaching people out the door
I mean, he's preaching people away based on his words
People were offended at Jesus Christ preaching and that did not stop him from preaching the truth
That did not stop him from being the Lord Jesus Christ. It didn't discourage him even and you know
I think that's an important philosophy that we can see Jesus Christ his mission. His goal is to preach the truth
It's not to see how many friends he can get on Facebook
It's not to see how many followers he can get on Facebook and hey, I'm all for having
You know a big reach or a big audience
But at the end of the day, we need to be a boss first buddy second type mentality type approach
And sometimes it's good to lose people
Sometimes it's okay for people to walk away from you when they just can't handle the right things
Now Simon Peter had the right attitude. He said
Then Simon Peter and answered him Lord to him shall we go thou hast the words of eternal life, you know
Why would you want to walk away from Jesus Christ in the Bible and God's institutions that he's laid out?
Where else are you gonna go? You know people get mad at steadfast Baptist Church and here's my question. Well, where else are you gonna go?
You
Know hey if there's just such a better place to be why not be there right? I mean, that's usually my philosophy
I just think hey if there's such a great church down the street
I'll join you and it's not to condemn other churches
But at the end of the day people get mad at things that they can't change and there's not a better alternative
Why would you turn away from the truth?
Now it's not the leadership's job to worry about who's gonna like the message
It's their job to be faithful to what's been given to them go to Matthew chapter 15, Matthew chapter 15
It's not for Jesus Christ to say, you know what God the Father that's a really rough doctrine
Can't we back it down a little bit? I mean, I'm here to save I'm here to seek and to save that which is lost
I mean
Maybe I shouldn't touch on divorce and remarriage while I'm on hit the earth
Right, or maybe I shouldn't bring up the fact that children that smite their parents should be killed, you know
Or maybe I shouldn't bring up all the sins that are in Matthew chapter number five
And you know, maybe I shouldn't rebuke the Pharisees so hard, you know now
Jesus Christ didn't back down on any of the messages on any of the things that you're supposed to preach and
You know, if you're in a position of leadership, you shouldn't back down you're put in leadership
Okay
Now Jesus Christ look at Matthew chapter 15 verse number 12 the Bible reads
Then came his disciples and sent him knowest thou that the Pharisees were offended after they heard this saying
Jesus answered. I'm so sorry
Can I write them a letter and tell them how special they are
You know verse 13, but he answered said every plant which my Heavenly Father hath not planted shall be rooted up
There's really not a way to say it
Where it's not nice like this is like the least
Pleasant way he could answer. He's just saying not only are they offended guess what?
They're not planted by my father and they're gonna go to hell
I mean let them alone they be blind leaders of the blind and if the blind lead the blind boast upon the ditch
He's saying hey someone has to be the light around here
Someone has to tell people the truth
Someone has to get up and be the boss and you know what the boss is not always the most desirable person
You know, sometimes people that are really good at being a boss are not gonna be a very good friend
Or not people that people are like, you know what? I don't really like him
I wouldn't really hang out with him, but he gets the job done, you know
He's really good at telling you what I need to do and what I need to hear and for that people won't like you oftentimes
There's a lot of people they don't really like Jesus Christ commandments, but they love salvation
They love the fact that he accomplished the work on the cross. They like the fact that he's the Lord
You know what? They're not really interested and following his commandments and they're not really his friends either
Now it's not that Jesus Christ doesn't want to be their friend. He does want to be their friend
He's constantly begging for them to be his friend in a sense. He's standing at the door. He's knocking
He wants to come in and sup with you he wants to have fellowship with you, but here's the thing
He's not gonna back down on his stance of the fact that you have to be obedient to be his friend though
He's not gonna compromise his position his doctrine in order to be your friend. He's still the boss first
Jesus Christ is not gonna go to the bar and have a beer with you
He's not gonna commit sin to be your buddy to be your friend
He's not gonna compromise in any type of position
He's all willing to be your buddy as long as you meet him on his terms as long as you're following his commands
look at chapter 11 Matthew 11 and look at verse number six and
Blessed is he
Whosoever shall not be offended in me, you know, it's blessing to not be offended in Jesus Christ
It's a blessing to not be offended by God's Word
There's a lot of people that are offended by God's Word, but blessed is the person that's not offended
Hey blessed are those that come to church on Sunday night to hear God's Word, you know blessed are those that want to serve
God hey blessed are those that go out and preach the gospel. Hey blessed are those that are not offended and Leviticus 2013
Hey blessed are those that are not
Offended at anything in the Bible or anything about the Lord Jesus Christ or anything that has to do with righteousness
Hey blessed are ye
You know the people that are not blessed are the ones that reject God's commandments they reject instruction
They reject the things the Lord has to offer to them
Now if you look at verse number seven
Let's keep reading here and as they departed Jesus began to say in the multitudes concerning John
What went ye out into the wilderness to see a reed shaken with the wind?
But what went ye out were to see a man clothed and soft raiment the old they that wear soft clothing are in King's houses
But what went ye out for to see a prophet?
Yea, I sand you and more than a prophet John the Baptist ministry was not to see how many friends he could make
It was to go and to prepare a way for the Lord and John the Baptist came preaching hard
John the Baptist preached against sin. He wasn't making friends where he was going
He ended up getting beheaded for his hard preaching for his hard stance for the gospel
And you know what? He did have some disciples
But he was not going out just to see how many friends he could make he was going out to do the job that God
had sent him to do he had the boss first hype mentality and noticed Jesus Christ is saying
Hey, is this guy shaking in the wind?
It's like is John the Baptist gonna stop preaching the Word of God based on friendships or based on relationships or based
No, he already kissed that goodbye. He's out in the wilderness doing his own thing
You have to come see him if you want to get the message you have to go
Hey, it wasn't air-conditioning. All right, it didn't have comfortable seating. He was out of the wilderness. He's eating wildest and locust honey
Sorry locust wild honey. I mix that up. I
Mean, he's just out there. You got to get in the water. This isn't even temperature controlled baptism
Okay, I mean you are spoiled today. You don't even realize it. You're going out in the wilderness getting baptized
It's like is this clean water? I don't know, you know, just get in here and let's dunk you. All right
It's not about that
And so some people they have this mentality though where they're trying to please everyone where they're trying to be a buddy first
And not a boss first and this is a bad philosophy
This is a bad idea and it's gonna lead to compromise look at verse 15
He that ears to hear let him hear, you know
Whenever you have a job to do you should be more focused with getting the job done than seeing how many people
Like you and see how many people are gonna be appreciative of that job you're doing
The Bible says faithful are the wounds of a friend
But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful
You know a true friends just gonna tell you what you need to hear and look friendship is always going to be tied to
Obedience and if you're in a position of leadership, you know
It's okay to be friends with people that you are leading that you're guiding or that you're instructing
There's nothing wrong with that, but it should be tied to obedience
It should not have favoritism and the the job of a leader is to correct guide
Discipline the actions of those that you are leading and let me say this when you correct guide and discipline the actions of those
Who you're leading it will oftentimes
alter relationships
Not because you want it to but it's reality, you know
Not everybody can handle the fact that you correct them
You know, sometimes you get kind of chummy with the leadership you kind of get chummy
It feels like y'all are buddies and you're clicking but all of a sudden he has to say
You know what?
You're wrong here and then people can't handle that people can't
They get too comfortable with positions of leadership with authorities in their life and they think that they're well
I thought we were buddies. I thought we were friends. Okay. Well, I am your friend, but I'm also boss first
Buddy second
Okay
And so, you know
This is very important for someone in ministry to realize if you have a position of leadership in ministry
No matter what that position is. You need to be a boss first and a buddy second now
I want you to go in your Bible to Proverbs chapter 15 Proverbs chapter number 15 and
You know this definitely applies to a pastoral ministry or anything like that and we'll get into this in a second
But even just soul-winning
Look if you're taking out a newbie soul winner and you're kind of teaching them or training them
You have to be a boss first buddy second type mentality if they're doing things wrong and so winning you need to tell them
You need to correct them
I can't tell you how many times I've had somebody come up to me or after the fact
They tell you these crazy stories about what weirdos did out soul-winning and it was like well, what did you say to them?
Well, nothing and I'm thinking like what in the world
You know somebody had this stupid analogy for eternal security
Like what if you ran over a baby and it's like that person should have been corrected. They should have been rebuked
I've seen people not even
Say the gospel whenever they're praying like they just say dear Jesus. I'm a sinner. Will you save me? Amen, and I'm like
What about the death bear resurrection or believing that or you know, like, you know, or they just forget stuff
They say stuff weird, you know, they're rude at the door
They're taking too long to get to the point, you know
Hey, whenever you see anything going on, you need to have the boss first
Buddy second mentality and say well, I just didn't want to offend my buddy
I don't want my buddy to you know get offended by me correcting his soul-winning. You know what?
It's always wrong and I'll say this I am a victim of this problem
There was a point when I was going to faith-ward Baptist Church and I was going so into somebody that I was kind of buddies
With and their soul-winning was very bad
like very bad and
I just I was too much of a coward to correct it and you know to this day
I wish I had I should have just said you know what you need to fix these areas
You need to fix these problems in your gospel presentation, especially since this person was wanting to be in a position of leadership
They were leading other people and I'm thinking like you're a bad example of a leader, you know
If you're really doing your soul winning this way and and honestly a true friend
Would correct you anyways, so I failed in that area and I don't want you to make that same mistake, you know
I'm never gonna get mad at myself for having done the right thing for correcting someone or doing the right thing
And if you're gonna be in a position of leadership
Let those moments of failure motivate you to say you know what? I'm not gonna do that again
And you know what?
There's been plenty of times in the future
where I had that temptation and not want to correct somebody based on the relationship I might have with them or whatever or hurting their
Feelings and I'm like, you know what if I'm not gonna correct them who is
Therefore I need to correct them
I need to be the one that says this is not right or you need to tighten this up
You need to fix this. Have you considered doing this differently? And so here's the thing
I'm willing to kiss goodbye every friendship I have in this room in
order to lead you in the areas that God has ordained me to lead you and
And I don't want to I don't want to sacrifice a relationship
I don't want to sacrifice friendship
But here's the thing
You need to have a boss first buddy second mentality or a bishop first buddy type mentality
whenever you are in a position of
Leadership and you know, it's frustrating when people can't handle correction and name that's their problem
but look what it says in Proverbs chapter 15, I had you turn there and
Let's look at verse number 15 Proverbs chapter 15 and look at verse number 10
the Bible says correction is grievous unto him that forsaketh the way and
He that hateth reproof shall die, you know, if you don't like being corrected you have major problems
You should want to be corrected, you know, I love being corrected, you know, and when it means corrected is it's it's true
Okay, obviously, I don't like being corrected if it's false
But the essence of being corrected means you did something wrong and if I do something wrong
I'm all for being told what I did was wrong so I can get it right so I can fix things
you know people point out errors that I make or things that I said wrong or a mistake and I don't think all like
I just think thank you for helping me
Thank you for allowing me to have the opportunity to get better and to be a better type person and we should all have this
Attitude and we should really prepare ourselves to say, you know what the next time someone corrects me
It's an opportunity for me to receive it. Well the next time someone corrects me. I want to receive it
Well, I want to thank them. I want to apply it. I don't want to get off
I can't wait. I'm the pastor, you know, who are you to say that? I even said anything wrong
You know if I even made any mistake ever and it's just like, you know
And obviously I'm not saying we should go around picking one another apart
But if there's a legitimate thing that you did wrong
I don't want people to just just ride that train with me off a cliff, you know
And I'm not above being able to be corrected. Obviously the Bible says it should be done with respect and it should be done
Appropriately and there's a time and a place but even a pastor even a person of authority can be corrected
But I myself need to make sure that I am a boss first buddy second type
how about that approach go to accept to 20 accept number 20 and
And here's the thing you might not understand but the Bible gives commandments to me and all kinds of places in the scripture
There's a lot of commandments for the pastor of what he's supposed to do of the bishop
You know that there's not any of those saying be their buddy
Be their friend
But there's a lot of other Commandments there's a lot of other instructions I'm never commanded to be your buddy
I'm never commanded to be your friend
I'm never a command to be your pal and I'd like to but here's the thing
I am commanded to do other things and one of those job titles in Acts chapter 20 looking verse 28
Take heed therefore in yourselves and to all the flock over the witch the Holy Ghost has made you
Overseers to feed the Church of God which you have purchased with his own blood
So I as the pastor and like I'm doing to overseer which would be what a boss
So it's my job to oversee to boss to lead to guide to be the bishop not to be your best friend
And sometimes you know what you need me to be your overseer not your buddy
Lead you to guide you to tell you not necessarily what you want to hear per se in the long run per se
But maybe not an immediate future go to Titus chapter 2. Let's get a few more verses on this guy. I think this is important
Look, it's a biblical doctrine to obey your boss or your overseer to the Bible emphasizes this and teaches this and you know
You should not despise your boss or overseer for exacting that authority
Or using that authority and applying that authority and telling you things that you're doing that are wrong Titus chapter 2 look at verse 9
exhort servants to be
Obedience under their own masters and to please them well in all things
Not answering again not purloining but showing all good fidelity
That they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in all things. So the Bible commands you to obey
Your masters to obey those that are over you now. I love this word fidelity. What is fidelity? It's not just an investment firm. Okay
if you look up in a dictionary fidelity is
Faithfulness to a person cause or belief by continuing loyalty and support
Wow, that's intense. I would love to think you know what if you had a body if you were a boss of a company
You say my employees have a lot of good fidelity
Meaning that they want us to succeed. They like us
They're faithful and they have continuing loyalty and support
That is what every single employer is looking for in an employee
I mean you wanted to wrap it up in a package its faithfulness and continuing loyalty and
Support and you know as a pastor
I would love to have this, you know
and and I think that I do have people like this and praise the Lord for that, but all ultimately our
Our fidelity should be in the Lord, but it can also be to a person
Notice this isn't even to direct it to the pastor. This is just directed to anybody that's over you
It's just saying every single person that's over you. I don't care if it's your job at work
I don't care if it's your husband your father the pastor the the person that's just leading
Soul-winning for that day the song leader whoever is over you in any capacity
Anybody that's the boss the Bible is teaching you to be obedient unto them and to show good fidelity say hey, I'm with you
Hey, I support you. Hey, I'm on that team
I'm on that page and you know if you have a bad master
Well serving with all you got and then find a better one
Okay, if you if that's an option, but sometimes it's not an option and so you got to just keep your mouth shut
Don't answer again. Don't purloin purloins just like being lazy and stealing things like that. Look at verse 15
These things speak and exhort and rebuke with all authority
Let no man despise these and notice Titus is supposed to get up and to preach the Bible with power with authority
exercise his leadership
God-given role and not even allow people to despise him for it
You know if you give somebody instruction or correction and they're just like
You're supposed to then continually rebuking them until they get it, right?
Hey, you're not allowed to act like that with me. I'm the person that's in charge here. You better get on board or get out
Now go to Hebrews chapter 13 Hebrews chapter number 13
Hey, why preach a sermon like this pastor Shelley well
Honestly, I'm not dealing with any problems, but I want to preach this so that when I do
You're not gonna get super offended. Okay, you might get a little offended but
As the pastor there's gonna be times where I have to put the boss hat on not the buddy hat and you know
I'd love to be the buddy all the time
But that would make me a bad pastor if I was just buddy all the time
You know, you got to put that boss hat on every once in a while
You got to also be the overseer every once in a while
You got to do this Hebrews chapter 13 verse 17 obey them
They have the rule over you and submit yourselves for they watch for your souls as they that must give an account
That they may do with joy and not with grief for that isn't profitable for you according to the Bible
This is a terrifying verse. Okay, according to the Bible if you are in a position of spiritual leadership
There's gonna be a day when Jesus Christ is gonna say, all right. Let's see how you did with my sheep
And it's like and you know what he's gonna owe you were just the buddy. You weren't the boss
That's gonna be a problem with him, you know at the end of the day
There's gonna be a reckoning, you know
If the CEO shows up and the manager is just letting the employees go wild
It's gonna be reckoning day for that boss for that manager he's gonna be in trouble
He's there to make sure that everything's going well and you know, the worst managers are the ones that show favoritism
To the people they like in the company
You have a group of employees and there's one that's slacking and lazy and not doing a good job
But the boss and him they're beer buddies, you know, or they're they're basketball buddies or whatever
It is their cousins or whatever and so he never gets on to him. He never treats them bad
I mean I saw this all the time in the workforce. I know you do too. Okay
I remember I worked at the company and it was basically two guys that were best friends and one was the boss and one was not
And the guy that was the best friend he literally I'm not joking. He never showed up at work before 10 a.m
Never okay. We're all showing up like 7 a.m. 8 a.m. He never shows up before 10 a.m
Always takes a two-hour lunch. Okay, so it's like 1130 to like 130 and then leaves by 4
And we're just we're just like what in the world and I remember, you know
No one was really brazen enough to just ask I mean we all knew you know
But finally one employee that was kind of on his way out. I think he was just finally like well, what about him?
He just gets to do whatever he wants and he's just like well he earned it
And
It's just like yeah, but it's so frustrating to watch the boss just well, he's my buddy
No
You need to be the boss first and you need to tell him he needs get his butt into work
And you actually do some work and not just be lazy and just take advantage of the relationship that he's built. That's not fun
I don't want to be in a situation like that and I don't want to go to a church where the pastor has favorites and
Where people are violating the rules of the church, but he's his buddies with the pastor
You know, he's buddies with the leadership. He's buddies with nope
There isn't gonna be favoritism here and if that cost me relationships then so be it
but I'm not interested and allowing people to put my relationship with them and
Jeopardy based on me having to make a decision that's right for the church
Hey, if I have to make the right decision for the church, I'm gonna do my best to make it and you say well
I want to be your friend too. Well, then you better follow the rules
Now first of the chapter one go back to first Timothy
We're kind of just staying in this locks section of scripture here of the T's and H
All right
First of the chapter one look at verse 18 this charge I committed to these son Timothy
According the prophecies which went before on thee that thou by them might as war a good warfare
Notice he didn't say that thou might as make best friends with people. No, he's giving them a charge to make war
Like it's not a time to be buddies and war it's not about friendship
It's about getting the job done not getting your heads blown off not letting the enemy advance you're going out and doing
Something that's really important and when it comes to warfare, you don't want the worst soldiers out there on the front lines
You don't want the worst soldier covering your back
You want people to follow instructions and do things right and you need a commanding chief or commanding leader to make the tough decisions
You know, I guarantee those in the top
Echelons of the military they're not so worried about who's you know, their buddy
They're like who's gonna get the job done who's gonna make sure that we're safe and who's gonna do it, right?
You know, obviously there's always favoritism
But the best leaders are those that can make the tough decisions and they can sacrifice a friendship for that
Which is right second Timothy chapter 4 just flip over
Second to me chapter 4 and I know I'm going through a lot of these verses
That you're probably pretty familiar with but I think it's important to be reminded of this great truth second Timothy chapter 4 look at verse 2
Preach the word be instant in season out of season reprove rebuke exhort with all long-suffering and doctrine
Look, it's about correcting people and telling people the things that they need to fix not just seeing how close you can be with each
Other how much buddy buddy you can get verse 3 why for the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine
But after their own lust shall they heap with themselves teachers having itching ears
And they shall turn away their ears from the truth and shall be turned unto fables
Now look I have a spiritual obligation to correct you and admonish you and I have no charges to be your friends
and there are some pastors that only want to be your friend and
I'm not interested in that nice from that relationship if it's gonna sack if I have to sacrifice
Being the the pastor that you need because if I'm not the pastor in your life who's gonna pastor you
Who's gonna lead you who's gonna guide you and go to first to meet chapter 6 again, and here's the thing
I'm not against even forming very close relationships with people in this room. I'm not against that
You know some pastors teach well, you can just never be friends with your congregation because then they'll lose all respect for you
I don't believe that you know John I believe was very close to the Lord Jesus Christ
Do you know why because he's a great disciple because he's following Lord
He's the one that goes in there with him whenever he's being condemned
You know he's one of the closest friends and so obviously there's a tie to
Following the rules and following the commandments
But you always have to keep that in the back of your mind you always have to be a little bit fearful of those that
Are in charge like I need to make sure that I don't cross the line and there could always be a moment in which I need
To be corrected hey Peter got rebuked pretty hard by the Lord Jesus Christ, but he didn't let that affect his relationship
You know what you can still serve you can still be right
and you know there's been people that are very close to me even people in leadership that I've had to correct at times and
They took it very well
And there's nothing wrong with being correct. It's not like I think well. I had to correct this guy now
We can't be buddies. It's usually how they respond to the correction if
They take the correction well you can even get closer to the person
There's nothing stopping you, but here's the thing I do not want to form a relationship
That's gonna stop me from correcting people. Okay. I'm not interested in that relationship
Bible says in first Timothy chapter 6 verse 1 let as many servants as are in the yoke count their own masters worthy of all
Honor that the name of God in his doctrine be not blasphemed
So you have a master that you know it doesn't matter who they are
You're supposed to count them worthy of honor period whoever that boss is verse 2 you get specific
And they that have believing masters let them not despise them because they are brethren
But rather do them service because they are faithful and beloved partakers of the benefit these things teach and exhort so notice
You're just supposed to obey you're supposed to be subject. You're supposed to accept the authority. You know it's not about being friends
It's about obeying the authorities in your life. That's why I say boss first buddy
Second good Galatians chapter 2 Galatians chapter 2 I'm gonna get a little more specific here
People don't like Church discipline, but you know what I'm not your buddy first. I'm your boss second or sorry
I'm your boss first and your buddy second and sometimes Church discipline is
Frustrating because you don't want someone to get kicked out of church
You don't want someone to have to be disciplined
You don't want to have to call someone out publicly
But at the end of the day if I think well if I call this person publicly they'll never come back to my church
You don't think that I don't realize that
You know what it was my job to be their pastor first
It was my job to be their pastor first and not their their buddy, and you know what there's plenty of people
That I think you know what they're not gonna come back because I had to publicly mark them
But you know what that's their problem. That's not my problem
And I'm not gonna treat them differently if they got it right if they want to fix it if they want to be my friend
But you know what if they don't want to get over their problems. That's their fault
You know how some people do this you change their privileges
They're doing something
But they're not doing it well
Or there's a problem and you have to take that away and now of a sudden they get offended
And they're like yeah
But here's the thing do you really want me to allow somebody to do something poorly and just keep getting by with it because I'm their
buddy I
Mean um they just can't even play the trumpet. You know without you know this is like
And so every song we just have to hear it's just like
It's like I just love Jared you know I just don't want to offend Jared you know that trumpet you know
It's like when will pastor it finally say like you need to practice or
You need to stop playing or let's just hold you out on this play right. I mean hey if you've ever played any kind of sport
There's that one player that you're like coach. Don't put him in you know
And he's like, but we got to get him in there
We got to give him some time, and he's got to get the trophy too, and it's like he sucks
You know he's not good. We're losing because of him replace him
Change him out you know and as the pastor
It's someone has to make those decisions, and you know it's not going to be based on how much I like you or not
It should have nothing to do with that
It should be like who's doing the best job
Who's gonna take it seriously who is the person that's worthy in honor of this privilege?
And you know what if you find yourself not worthy or of some honor or some privilege don't get mad at me fix the problem
Just be a better person you know I can't reward bad behavior with favoritism
That's a bad attribute in a leader that's gonna make a bad leader, and you know the apostle Paul
Even though he was really good buddies with some of the other apostles. He was not willing to sacrifice
The spiritual leadership that he had for friends look at Galatians chapter 2 verse 9 and when James Cephas and John who seemed to be
Pillars perceive the grace that was given unto me
They gave to me and Barnabas the right hands of fellowship that we should go into the heathen and then the circumcision only
They would that we should remember the poor the same which I also was forward to do
But when Peter was come to Antioch I was stood him to the face
Notice this because he was to be blamed for before that certain came from James
He did eat with the Gentiles, but when they were come he withdrew and separated himself fearing them which were of the circumcision
The other Jews assembled likewise with them in so much that Barnabas also is carried away with their dissimulation
But when I saw they walked not uprightly according to the truth of the gospel
I said unto Peter before them all if thou being a Jew
Livest after the manner of Gentiles and not as do the Jews why compels thou the jet
Compels thou the Gentiles to live as do the Jews there's a thing
This is a good thing that Paul did Paul said I'm not willing to just allow
Peter to not walk uprightly to not walk according the truth. This is gonna negatively affect the Gentiles
This is gonna negatively affect these relationships. And so I have to call them out and publicly
You don't think it raced across Paul's mind like this could be bad for me
Peter may not want to be my friend again if I call him out publicly in front of every single person
You know who did think that Barnabas
Is he got carried away?
Look, there's other guys that were just like well, I'm not gonna speak against Pete Peter, you know, we could never speak against Peter
But here's the thing in Paul's position. He can't just let that happen. He has to stay committed to the Word of God
He's an apostle and you know what?
He has a boss verse mentality and you know what Peter should be willing to accept the fact that hey
I need to be corrected on that issue and get it right go to 2nd Samuel chapter 7 2nd Samuel chapter number 7
My first point is boss first buddy second. My first point is boss first buddy second and look
Sometimes especially near for a position of leadership a position of ministry
You are the only person that's gonna be able to make that type of correction
There's not a lot of people here that can make this type of correction to Peter
They're not gonna be in the position. They're not gonna have the opportunity
They're not gonna be you know, have the the presence. So if it's not Paul who was gonna do it
No one and then it would have been questionable. Well, should we even eat with the Gentiles?
I mean, can we even be around the Gentiles and it's like yes, you can and that was corrected
Here's another position second Samuel chapter 7 verse 1 the Bible reads and it came to pass when the king sat in his house
And the Lord had given him rest roundabout from all his enemies that the king said in Nathan the Prophet see now
I dwell in a house of cedar
but the ark of God dwelt the curtains and Nathan said to the king
God go do all that is in thine heart for the Lord is with thee
So Nathan and David actually have a pretty friendly relationship
when we start out finding them in the Bible and Nathan and Nathan's telling him to do all this great stuff and
David's going out and wanted to build a house of the Lord
Now he doesn't end up doing it. He just ends up collecting all the items for his son
But Nathan is very positive and pro David and they have probably a pretty good relationship
But look at chapter 12 go to chapter number 12
There's a problem though David ends up sinning and sinning greatly sinning very grievous grievously and giving occasion
To the heathen to blaspheme now it says in second Samuel chapter 12. Look at verse 5
Nathan gives this parable about a man loving his lamb says in verse 5 and David's anger was greatly kindled against the man
And he said to Nathan as the Lord liveth the man that had done this thing shall surely die
So Nathan gives a parable he says there's a man he has one lamb and he loves it like his own daughter
Okay, he's just like he's named it
it's got all the outfits and everything like that and there's this rich guy who has all these sheep and
There's someone traveling coming into town and instead of the rich man taking from his own flock
he steals this other man's one only sheep and kills it and feeds the traveler and
Nathan's bringing up this parable to explain to David his own fault, but he's basically presenting it to David to give an unbiased
Judgment so as to then turn the tables and expose David for the sin that he's committed and David's irate
David's very upset at the story and thinks that this man has done a great sin
Which is a great judge, which is a good judgment. The problem is is that he's the guy look at verse number six
He says and he shall restore the lamp for full because he did this thing because he had no pity and Nathan said to David
Thou art the man
That's a hard sentence to say. I mean we're talking about the king
Over Israel and Jerusalem David the man after God's own heart the guy that killed Goliath
The guy that's at the top of the top. I mean to get in his face and say you're that guy
Thou art the man that is tough words. I don't even know how he said it even if he just whispered it
It was it was a hard sentence to get out
Thou art the man, you know
There was no way to word that and it wasn't hard preaching
Our preaching is not so much about how much you emphasize it as the content
Thou art the man thus saith the Lord. I think he said it authoritatively thus saith the Lord God of Israel
I anointed the king over Israel and I delivered the out of the hand of Saul and then he goes into a an explanation of how
David is guilty here. But you know what Nathan had a boss first buddy second mentality
He said you know what David? I know you're in a position of authority here. I know you're the king
You know what?
God's made me the Prophet and as the Prophet I have to get up and I have to tell you that you're sinning
I have to tell you what you did was wrong. I have to tell you thus saith the Lord
This is God's message for you
And you know what if you're a position of a pastor or a spiritual leader, you have to be the Prophet not the POW
You have to get up and preach the Word of God and say well, you know what my friend could get offended who cares
You know if if Nathan didn't tell David this who was gonna do it
It was gonna tell David that he had sinned who was gonna tell who's gonna correct David
It was Nathan's job and Nathan has get the job done. That's why an important
attribute or perspective of someone that wants to be a pastor is
Someone that's not gonna show favoritism that can get the job done that can tell people know isn't gonna play
Favorites and at the end of the day if they have a job to do they're gonna get the job done
And they're willing to sacrifice a relationship if that's the case now go to second Samuel chapter 3
I'm gonna give you a bad example here in a moment a
Bad example of this boss first
Buddy second mentality where someone doesn't employ this and you know people people do this where they try to intimidate
Pastors and you know, I've had this I've had people they they threaten that they're gonna leave the church
If you say you want to move to a better building, you know, they're like, oh man, we're gonna leave the church
That's trying to intimidate me
That's trying to intimidate my relationship with that person and you know what I say see ya
Okay, that sucks for you. I mean, where are you gonna go?
But you know, you don't have to go to this church to serve God but then they I'm not gonna let people intimidate me
Well, you know if I go my ties go see you later
Do you know how much I tied? I don't care
Look
I'm not in this to make money despite what trolls say, okay
They don't understand. All right, they know nothing. Okay
Look, and I'm not I don't want to pastor a church of people that are gonna tell me what to do
the only person that I want to tell me to do is the Lord Jesus Christ as the only person that I want to tell
Me what to do and it's the only person I want to serve and if you know that cost me every relationship in this room
great
Jeremiah didn't have a lot of friends. I don't think
Jeremiah had to just tell people the truth and you know what if our church has to shrink God be it
You know God be so I don't care
I'm not interested and seeing how many buddies I can make I want to see if I can preach the Word of God to a
Group of people that love the truth today
Okay, and you know, I think if you listen to the sermons, you'll figure it out. I'm not interested in making friends, right?
You think oh no, I'm gonna leave a bad Google review if you you know, like okay
Join the thousands. All right, who cares, you know, or I'm gonna expose you
I've recorded this phone call and I'm gonna expose you in this phone conversation. It's like you're gonna expose that you're an idiot
That's what you're gonna do
People try to threaten you intimidate you. Look I've had people call me and threaten me
They're like, I'm gonna I'm gonna release our phone call conversation
Okay
You know what they're gonna find a boss first buddy second person who's in charge here and says, you know what you're preaching sucks and
You know what if you're preaching sucks, it sucks
Don't sit here and think well, I really like you though, you know, hey if you're not good at preaching
You're not gonna preach, you know, if you're not good at song leading if you're not good at reading the Bible
Hey, whatever you're not good at we're not gonna keep letting you do it just because you're my buddy
Just because you're my friend and you know what the person that actually wants the truth is gonna be okay with that
They're gonna say oh I do. Well, how can I fix that? They're not gonna be like well
I really do think that Jesus wore a dress, you know, I
Really do believe that you know, I really do believe it's like no that's false doctrine
You know somebody I told I had to tell somebody they're preaching sucks and this is that subjective and I said no
It's not you're preaching heresy
It's not subjective if you're preaching is bad if you're preaching false doctrine, it's bad. It's not even questionable. It's objectively bad
You know if I had to tell someone they're not a good leader
You're just not a good leader. You should be able to accept that and you know, maybe work on it and
Anything that you have that's not good. You should want correction, you know, if you come to the preaching class
You're not gonna get a pat on the back
Ask any of the guys that come to the preaching class what it's like, you know
I'm not gonna sit there and sugarcoat it and and try to tell you things that you know, aren't true
I'm gonna let you know what is right
Because I'm not gonna have this buddy first approach and you know if that makes people mad then so be it
I don't want to be around you second Samuel chapter 3 look at verse 7 and
Saul had a concubine whose name was Rizpah the daughter of Aya and
Ishbaseth said to Abner wherefore hast thou gone in my father's concubine
Then was Abner very wroth for the words of Ishbaseth and said am I a dog's head
which against Judah do show kindness this day unto the house of Saul thy father to his brethren and to his friends and have not
Delivered thee into the hand of David, but thou charged me today with a fault concerning this woman
So do God to Abner and more also except as the Lord has sworn to David even so I do to him
to translate the kingdom from the house of Saul and to set up the throne of David over Israel and over Judah from Dan even
To Beersheba, and he could not answer Abner a word again because he feared him now. Here's the thing
Ish-bosheth is the son of Saul
It's kind of like the house of Saul versus the house of David in this section
and they've been at war and the house of Saul is continually declining and the house of David is kind of getting bigger and
Ish-bosheth has basically one weapon weapon. It's Abner here, and he's a good leader. He's a good general
He's you know a valiant man, but Abner is in the wrong
Abner commits sin Abner is lying with Saul's concubine Abner's committing fornication
Abner is doing that which is wicked and Ish-bosheth points that out and says hey Abner you shouldn't be doing this
Why are you lying with my dad's concubine? This isn't right, but then what does Abner say?
Oh, yeah, you want to come and tell me I'm doing something wrong. Well, I'll just give the kingdom to David then and
Then what does Ish-bosheth do?
He's scared
He's afraid he can't answer him
And you know what? He loses Abner and he loses the kingdom
You know it was right for Ish-bosheth to tell him that he's wrong
But he should have stuck with his guns and said well, then you're fired
If you're gonna have this rebellious attitude, he should have just gotten rid of him
He shouldn't let Abner then just walk into David's camp and just hand over the rest of the kingdom to David
Now obviously this is in the context of Ish-bosheth's mentality that he's right
Okay, obviously David is the rightful king and they should have all submitted to him
But I'm just saying in the context of what Ish-bosheth is doing
Hey, Ish-bosheth should not be so cowardly as to allow
Insurrection and rebellion to go on in his own camp it cost him the whole kingdom
By allowing Abner to get away with it
Hey, if someone's in this church causing trouble and saying hey, I'm gonna leave and let everybody I'm gonna tell everybody leave with me
It's like I'm not gonna just be like oh no, what do I do?
I'm just gonna go in my closet and cry about it. I'm gonna be like this guy's wanting to leave. See ya
Let's all wave bye, you know
It's like yeah at the end of the day
You can't just let people just come in and tear the things apart and just let people walk all over
You and let people threaten you and let people do things. Hey, you need to be a boss first buddy second
And hey, I'm all for restoration
I'm all for giving people grace
But at the end of the day someone has to be in charge of this place
Someone has to make some rules and you know, I wasn't interested in being buddies with Adam Fanon. All right, that's a different sermon
But go if you would to Proverbs 29 for the sake of time
I can't go to my second point, but I already preached it. My second point is this parent first pal second
Reference this morning sermon parent first pal second. I'm not interested in being pals with my kids
I'm interested in being their parents and if you don't parent your kids, no one will
You parent your kids the Bible says my son hear the instruction of thy father and forsake not the law of thy mother
You know what? Moms need some laws today
Moms need some rules today, you know, here's a rule at our house. If you don't eat your plate you eat it later
If you don't want eat eat what's on your plate, then you eat it later
You know what happens then they have to eat that food. It's not a pick or choose
It's not a all-you-can-eat buffet at our house, you know, it's not like a come and just pick whatever you like
No, if mom and dad sets it down
That's what you get and if you don't want it now you get it later you get spanked now and you get to eat
It again later
It's not like we just give you all these options, you know
No talking back or complaining and you know what this needs to be enforced a lot as you tell them. Hey go clean your room
It's time to go to bed
You know eat that food
It's just like you don't get to make those decisions. You know what your decision is obey
That was the one decision you got obey. Yes, sir. Just oh, okay. Yes, sir, and just always following it
You know, there's moms that just want to be the best friend today
You need to be the mother
You need to tell your kids what's up and you know what if you do it, right?
You're not gonna sacrifice that friendship. You're gonna sacrifice that friendship by not being the mother
Proverbs 29 look at verse 23 the Bible says a
Man's pride shall bring him low but honor shall uphold the humble and spirit
You know, it's it's your fault for not accepting correction and a prideful person is going to destroy themselves
But you need to correct them if you flip back the page and look at 28 verse 23
The Bible says he that rebuketh a man afterwards shall find more favor than he that flattereth with the tongue
And let me tell you this kids do not want a best friend they want a parent
Don't flatter your kids. Don't just tell them all you're great and you're wonderful, you know, tell them what they need to hear
Rebuke your kids tell them that they're wrong and you know what afterward you'll find favor
You won't find favor from your parents for them just flattering you and lying to you
And you know when we discipline our children, let me tell you this they bounce back quickly. I
Mean we spank them and it's it's grievous and for a few moments, but then they still want to hang out
They still want to play they still want you to hold them. They're still they still want to be your buddy
Even after discipline after discipline after discipline after discipline, you know try that with people in this room. It doesn't work as well
Okay, they don't bounce back as much go to Genesis chapter number three
I'm gonna give you a few verses and finish these last few points quickly
Point number one boss first buddy second point to parent first pal second third husband first homeboy second
Husband first homeboy second. All right, and some of you men need this. All right, but but let me see let me point out a few
problems here in Jonathan in Genesis chapter number three
they were six and when the woman saw that the tree was good for food and
That it was pleasant to the eyes and a tree to be desired to make one wise
She took of the fruit thereof and did eat and gave also under husband with her and he did eat
You know everything that Eve did
Adam was just standing there the whole time. Just letting it happen. Just watching it happen
Just right there with her and then she's just handing him the food and then he's just he's just being the homeboy
He needed to be the husband. He needed to grab that snake off the tree and snap its neck
He
Needed to kill that varmint. He needed to put a fence up. He needed to knock the fruit out of her hand
He needed to tell her no, he needed to do something
But he was just the homeboy just he's just there with her just like there for a ride
You know and she's like eat this and he's just like whatever, you know, let's just eat the fruit
You know look women need a husband not a homeboy
Not so it's not who's the boss?
Okay with Tony Danza
where you're wondering who's in charge and Tony Danza is doing all the cleaning and making sure that when she comes home
She's had a hard day at work. Look that's a
Weird show. Okay, it's backwards. It's not the Bible
verse 9 the Bible says this and Lord God called an Adam and said unto him where art thou and
He said I heard thy voice in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked and I hid myself
And he said who told you that was naked as thou eaten of the tree
Where have I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat the man said the woman whom thou gave us to be with me
She gave me of the tree and I did eat so he just blames her
You know how that pictures the homeboy not the husband the husband will take responsibility
The homeboy shifts the blame and notice homeboy ain't got your back homeboys. It's gonna throw you under the bus apparently
verse 17 and
Under Adam he said because thou has hearkened into the voice of thy wife and
as eaten of the tree of which I commanded these saying thou shalt not eat of it cursed is the ground for thy sake and
Sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life
Thorns also and thistles shall bring forth to thee now
So I eat the herb of the field and the sweat of thy face
Shout thou eat bread till thou return under the ground for out of it
What's thou taken for dust thou art and the dust shalt thou return notice
The bit the first thing mentioned that God's rebuking him for listening to his wife
That's what the Bible says
Because thou has hearkened unto the voice of thy wife
And let me say this, you know what your wife can give you good advice, but she can also give you bad advice
And you know your wife needs is a husband
Well, your wife needs is a ruler and one that's gonna say no and to tell them what to do when they are wrong
You know and honestly a husband and wife relationship is the closest relationship you can have on this earth
And you know, I consider my wife my best friend
It's not saying that you can't have a close relationship with your spouse
But here's the thing. I still have to be the husband. I still have to tell her no, I still have to guide her
I still have the leader and if I am NOT the husband for my wife who's gonna be that
Hillary Clinton the government who's gonna who's gonna be the husband for my wife
Ellen degenerate not interested. I'm gonna be the husband. I'm the man of the house. I'm the one that's gonna make the rules
I'm gonna be the one that makes the decisions. You know what? It's not gonna be a questionable. Who's the boss in my home and
You know as the man you have to make decisions you have to rule your house and you know
What if you don't no one else will I?
Don't have time to get all the specifics of that
I want to go to one more place when we finish this evening go to Deuteronomy chapter 13 Deuteronomy chapter 13
But we need some men to be husbands today and not the homeboy and you know what?
You're not gonna ruin your relationship by leading
You're gonna ruin your relationship by not leading
By not telling her what to do by not guiding her by not leading her
I guarantee the worst marriage is the women are begging for their husbands to lead them
They might not say that or admit that but that's what they want in their heart
They want a man to guide them
Every romantic story is about a big hunk grabbing them and just taking them off somewhere all of them
That's what every woman wants. She just wants some big hunky man to say
I know where I'm going and I want you to be there with me
You
Know every feminist novels like Adam and Eve story, you know, she gave her husband the poisonous Apple and killed them or whatever
You know, she took she's wearing the pants now and you know, she's in charge
You know, it's not the Bible. It's not the good Bible story
The good Bible story is the one where the guy goes off and prepares a place and says let's go
She didn't even pick the curtains
He'll learn soon enough that all of his stuff will be thrown away and get replaced but you know
He
Just needed to get the structure. All right, Deuteronomy 13 is my last point verse 6
if thy brother the son of thy mother or thy son and thy daughter or the wife of thy bosom or thy friend which thou
Which is as thine own soul entice thee secretly saying let us go and serve other gods
Which thou is not known thou nor thy fathers namely of the gods of the people which are round about you nigh unto thee or far
Off from thee from the one end of the earth even unto the other end of the earth thou shalt not consent unto him
Nor hearken unto him neither shall thine pity him neither shalt thou spare neither shalt thou conceal him
But thou shalt surely kill him thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death and afterwards the hand of all
The people so not only need to be a boss first buddy second not only to be a parent first pal second
Not only be a husband first a homeboy second
You need to be a follower first and a friend second a follower first and a friend second
Hey, your primary job is to follow the Lord Jesus Christ not to be people's friends
Hey, if your best friend comes up to you and says let's serve other gods kill him is what the Bible said
Now in the New Testament, we understand that we can't just kill people. Okay, I had to put that caveat in there
You know someone comes up and whispers oneness in your ear
It's not like let's just be buddies still
Kill him spiritually, you know preach against him, you know, some of my best friends quote-unquote at paperwork Baptist Church were all oneness heretics
Denying who the Lord Jesus Christ is and you know what I have nothing to do with them
Nothing. I I said I'm ready to kiss these relationships. Goodbye
It wasn't even a hard decision
It wasn't even like well, I don't know it was like see you sucker it was like get away from me you freak
You know, hey, I know we've been friends. I know our kids like each other. Hey, I know our wives like each other
Hey
I know that we we've been to each other's houses and cooked meals and showed her fellowships and been friends and gone on trips together
But hey, you're a devil get away from me
You believe false doctrine. See you later
Hey, I'm not interested in being involved with you because I'm a follower of Jesus Christ first and I'm a friend second and you say
Hey, I want to be friends with Pastor Shelley. We'll follow Jesus Christ
Hey follow me as I follow Jesus Christ and I'll be your friend all day long
But you know what if you threaten me following Jesus Christ
You're gonna be on the chopping block and it should be for every single person in this room
And you know what? I've given up all kinds of friendships to be where I am right here right now. I
Have tons of friendships
I have tons of people that think I'm crazy and think I'm a lunatic and they get mad at me
For a lot of decisions I've made, you know, they're like, why aren't you playing all these golf tournaments John? Where are you at?
Well, I sucked at those golf tournaments anyways, all right
Sometimes I did okay, but here's the thing. I don't I'm gonna sacrifice that
Hey, I don't know you know what if you don't want to be here with me serving God then I'll get new friends
You can't be everybody's friend and
At the end of the day, you can't follow Jesus Christ and be friends with lots of people
It's just not realistic and the people that are gonna be your friends that don't care about the Lord Jesus Christ are vain
Anyways, the Bible says he that speaketh flattery to his friends even the eyes of his children shall fail
You know, you have to sometimes and look it's not that I don't want to be that person's friend I actually still do
It's that I'm gonna follow Jesus first and if they don't want to go in the same direction
How can to walk together if they don't agree, you know, I agreed
Go to Luke 14 last verse. I'll return to this evening Luke 14
Bible says trust you not in a friend
Put you not confidence in a guy keep the doors of my mouth from her that lies in my bosom and you say well
I'm not a pastor. Okay doesn't matter. Are you a follower of Jesus Christ? You can still apply this sermon
Your your primary job is to do what God told you to do and to follow his commandments and to sacrifice every other relationship
Period and so it's important though when you are at any position of leadership with us the husband whether that's a mother
Whether that's just a follower of the Lord Jesus Christ the sole winning leader a pastor and evangelist a deacon
I don't care who it is
if you have any level of authority you need to exercise that authority and be a good leader and be a good boss and
Be a good parent and be a good husband and be a good follower of the Lord Jesus Christ and not worry about the relationships
Let the relationships
Come as they go, you know
And I don't worry about relationships and look I have more good friends than right now than I've ever had my entire life
And I don't worry about that
You know what? I hope I have lots of good relationships and lots of good friends
but this is what Jesus said in Luke chapter 14 verse 26 if any man come to me and
Hate not his father and mother and wife and children and brethren and sisters. Yea in his own life also
He cannot be my disciple
Notice we got to get the right mentality. I think the right priorities. We need to be a follower first and a friend
Second don't try to keep friendships do what's right?
And don't let friendships and that favoritism cause you to make a bad decision
You will always make the right decision by following God's commandments no matter what relationship that may cost you no matter what?
People's feelings may be no matter who comes and goes and so therefore
We need to submit ourselves to following the Lord Jesus Christ and those that try to correct us. We should not despise them
We should rather appreciate and love them or the job that they're doing let's close in prayer. Thank you father so much for your word
Thank you for giving us this clear instruction. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to be your friend that
We understand you're our Lord and you're a master and we're servants of you, but we're not just servants
We can also be friends that we follow your commandments
I pray that we'd not get hardened in our hearts against your correction
But rather we receive a correction and not just the correction that comes from Bible
But also the Masters that are over us the people that you put in positions over us and the authorities in our lives
I pray that we could appreciate
their God-given roles and that we could thank them for the corrections that they do give us and that we could
give show good fidelity to those that are in charge and not constantly attacking them and tearing them down and
Having bitter resentment in our hearts and in Jesus name we pray. Amen