Okay, Galatians chapter 6, and look at verse number 2.
Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.
And that's really nice to think that, you know, we're being commanded here to
bear each other's burdens. I feel like my voice is really loud. What is it? It's echoing.
I haven't been here for three weeks. I'm not used to preaching here.
Anyway, it sounds like my voice is being broadcast.
Anyway, it's all good.
Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.
You know, it sounds, so look at that verse. You go, man, that's awesome that,
you know, if we've got brothers and sisters in the Lord, we have friends, we have family,
that we can come alongside one another and support each other
when somebody's facing a trial, a burden, a difficulty.
And I remember when I would read this chapter in my young years,
I always sort of scratched my head when I looked at verse number 2,
and then I looked at verse number 5.
Verse number 5 says,
For every man shall bear his own burden.
Oh, what in the world?
You know, is this a contradiction in Scripture?
Why is it saying that we should bear one another's burdens,
but now it's saying that every man shall bear his own burden?
And of course, when it comes to the Bible, there are no contradictions.
Okay, everything is true,
and so we must understand what God is trying to tell us in this Scripture.
The title for the sermon tonight is When Help is Not Helpful.
When help is not helpful.
Have you ever been in a situation where someone has offered you help,
and you maybe gingerly kind of accepted it,
you knew, I don't think you're going to help me.
I don't think, you know, you're really going to come alongside and support me,
but you know, okay, they're offering help, I'll accept it,
I feel like I might offend them if I don't accept their help.
They've come alongside you, they've tried to help you,
and they've only made it worse.
Have you ever had that situation develop?
I've had that situation,
and I wanted to tell you when they were,
because I don't want to offend brothers and sisters in the Lord,
when they've, you know, meant to do good things,
and maybe I've come alongside you sometimes to try to help you,
and I've only made your situation worse, it's possible.
You know, we can be on either side of this equation,
and so this is what I believe God is trying to bring us to.
There is a time to bear one of those burdens,
but there's also another time where every man must bear their own burden,
and so we must understand the context of the situation.
Now, when we look at Galatians 6,
let's just get the context of verse number two,
because obviously the chapter did not start with verse number two.
Verse number one really gives us the context of when it is
that we should come alongside someone and help them with their burdens.
Verse number one says,
brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault,
okay, someone's in a fault, someone's got a burden,
someone's got a trial, someone's struggling with a sin,
whatever it is, whatever fault that could be,
it says everybody at church restores such and one in the spirit of meekness.
Is that what it says?
No, no.
It says ye which are spiritual, okay,
restore such and one in the spirit of meekness.
So you've got to assess,
am I in the right spiritual condition to help this person in their burden?
And then it says in the spirit of meekness,
when I come alongside this person,
am I meek, am I lowly,
or am I coming alongside and am I being lifted up and haughty and prideful,
and look what you've done to yourself.
You wouldn't have done that if you just took my advice.
No, you've got the wrong spirit
if you come alongside them with that spirit.
It says here,
considering thyself, consider yourself, lest thou also be tempted.
Sometimes, I'll give you just an example.
I don't have this example in my life, but I'll give you an example.
Let's say two of you have been alcoholics in the past.
You struggle with the booze, you know,
and you both, you know, after you get saved,
you both are able to clean up your lives,
and you know, you go about whole living,
and you don't touch that wicked thing.
You know what God has to say about that topic,
and then one of those brothers falls into alcohol once again.
You know, they have a weak time,
and they turn to the booze, and they're drunk again.
You know, should you as a former alcoholic
be the one that really comes alongside them
and helps them in that situation?
Maybe, probably not though,
because you need to consider yourself.
You could be tempted.
When you go alongside that brother,
and they express to you why they went back to the alcohol,
what they're struggling with,
you might be tempted to get back into that same old sin.
So are you the right person?
You know, what we see in this context is consider yourself,
are you the right person to offer your help?
And if you are the right person,
you are one that is spiritual,
you are someone that has come alongside meekly,
you have considered yourself,
you realize you're not going to be the one tempted to fall in that regard.
Now you're the one that ought to bear one another's burdens.
You're the one that needs to be there
to help that person in that time of difficulty.
But you can see when you look at verse number one,
there are conditions as to who that person is.
Now, let's understand the context of verse number five.
For every man shall bear his own burden.
What is God trying to tell us about this?
Well, look at the verse previous to that.
Look at verse number four.
But let every man prove his own work.
Then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone and not in another.
So it's saying here, look,
when you're going through a difficulty and a trial,
you need to take that responsibility upon yourself.
You know, you're not to run away from the problems.
You're not to hand that problem over to somebody else.
You're not to hand that problem over to your pastor.
You're to take that, you're meant to take ownership of that.
And when you sort it out,
for every man shall bear his own burden,
it says, and then you shall have rejoicing in himself, in yourself.
You'll be able to say, wow, with God's help,
I was able to overcome this challenge.
I was able to overcome this trial.
I got through it and now I can rejoice that God used this burden,
God used this trial to better me, to profit me,
to help me grow and to be someone of a mature standing.
Someone that is a little bit more like Jesus Christ
after I've gone through this trial.
But you see, when you go through a burden and you bear it alone,
and of course not completely alone with the Lord God at your side,
and you come through, you can rejoice.
You can learn through that.
But if someone takes that burden away from you,
are you going to grow?
Are you going to mature?
Are you going to learn from that experience?
No, you've learned how to run away.
You've learned how to run away.
You've learned how to blame anybody else
and you've learned how to handle a promise to everybody else.
No, God wants us to bear our burdens.
He's given us his burdens for a purpose so we can grow.
And when we go through them,
we can rejoice in the Lord when he sees us through.
And so understanding the context, of course, makes all the difference.
But you see, both of these things are true.
There's a time to come alongside and help somebody.
There's also a time for let everybody themselves handle their own burdens
and for you to handle your own burdens.
And so, again, the two problems when you're trying to help someone
when God is telling them that they have to carry that burden on loan,
again, you're stopping that burden bearer from rejoicing in recovery,
but also you end up carrying somebody else's burdens
which will cause you unnecessary stress and problems.
Okay, look, I'll give you an example.
And it's very easy.
As someone that is, you know, you're friendly and you care for people,
it's very easy to get into this problem.
But you've got friend A having a conflict with friend B, all right?
And friend A comes to you and says,
look, I've got this problem, I've got this conflict,
you know, can you help me out?
What you should say, and this is a biblical teaching, I call it Christ,
is you should say to that person,
look, take your issue to that one person one on one alone.
I don't need to hear it.
But it's very easy as a friend to go,
you know what, I'll contact so and so,
I'll contact friend B over there,
and tell them about the issues you've got.
If you're struggling to talk to them, I'll step in,
I'll carry your burden, I'll go talk to friend so and so.
And then friend B says,
well, why couldn't friend A come to me directly?
That's a bit wrong.
You know, why did you get involved?
Well, can you tell him in return that he should come to me?
Okay, I guess I will.
Now go back friend A, you know, friend B over there says,
you know, you should be getting,
now all of a sudden you're this middle person,
it's not your problem, it never was your problem.
God's way of rectifying that issue was that person goes to that person,
and now you find yourself going back and forth, back and forth,
and your friends are getting mad at you
when you're giving them information that they didn't want to hear.
Have you ever been that person,
caught in the middle of someone else's problems?
Because you try to be a good friend.
But the right instruction at that point would have been,
hey, they have to carry their own burdens.
Let them rejoice when they sort out their own issues.
You know, it'll strengthen their friendship.
You know, when two people in conflict are struggling,
and when they talk it over, and they say sorry,
and they forgive each other, it strengthens the friendship.
But when they find out you've gone to source C,
you've gone to someone else, it's only going to anger the issue,
it's only going to make the issue worse.
And that's not the time for you to carry someone else's burden.
Now, there are times that we might carry each other's burdens.
I'll just quickly read to you.
Actually, can you turn with me to 1 Peter chapter 5?
Come with me to 1 Peter chapter 5.
1 Peter chapter 5.
Now, let me give you just a real situation,
which should be a very everyday scenario for us as God's people.
While you're turning to 1 Peter 5,
I'll read to you from Romans 12.
Romans 12, 15 says,
Rejoice with them that do rejoice,
and weep with them that weep.
Weep with them that weep.
You know, one thing I've learned to the pastor is,
just sometimes, someone's going through a hardship, sorrows, sadness,
and I used to think I've got to lift them out of that sadness,
or I've got to provide them a solution,
because maybe they're struggling to find the solution themselves.
But what I found as a pastor,
the most effective thing that I can do when someone's weeping,
is just to weep with them.
Okay?
And when you learn to just weep with that person that's weeping,
they say, wow, my pastor, or my friend, my brother, or my sister,
and the Lord, my friend loves me.
You know, they care for me,
they sense my hurt, and they hurt for me as well,
because from what I'm going through.
And that is, you are carrying their burdens.
Because at that time, they realize,
I've got friends, I've got brothers and sisters that love me,
that care for me.
And that makes a huge difference
when you're going through a downtrodden time,
and you're going through a time of sadness.
But the reason I read Romans 12, 15 to you is,
you know, is brother,
do we have brother John here?
No, whatever John.
Okay, you know, is brother John always going to be weeping?
Every single Sunday, every single Thursday?
You know, is that his life forever?
Just constant weeping?
You're going to come alongside and weep
and carry his burdens constantly?
No, no, no.
There are going to be times in his life that he's rejoicing.
And there's going to be times in his life
when he's doing just fine.
There's other times in life when he's got sorrow and sadness,
and that's the life of all of us, right?
It's not always, woo hoo, party.
It's not always sad crying and sad, you know, sadness.
And it's, you know, most of the time,
life is just getting through the day-to-day situations.
And so this kind of help when you come alongside someone
isn't going to be something that goes on indefinitely,
is what I'm trying to say.
When someone is weeping,
they're going through a difficult situation,
a one-off situation, a rare scenario,
and that's a great time for you to come alongside them
and weep with them.
But what I'm trying to say is,
it's not an ongoing scenario.
And I'm going to touch upon that
as we go further into this sermon.
You're in 1 Peter 5, verse number 6.
1 Peter 5, verse number 6.
Now, the first point I have for you, brethren,
is when help is not helpful.
When help is not helpful is when you put yourself
in the place of God, okay?
Friend has a problem.
Friend, tell me all your problems.
Friend, speak to me.
Vent to me.
Tell me your issues.
Let's sit down, grab a coffee,
and tell me what bothers you right now, friend.
Look, that is not the right approach.
The Bible's so clear.
You know what the Bible says about a topic like this.
In 1 Peter 5, verse number 6,
humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God
that he may exalt you in due time,
cast in all your care upon him,
for he careth for you.
Okay?
So, brethren, when you've got burdens,
when you've got trials,
when you've got difficulties,
that's not the time to pick up the phone
and call your friend.
That's not the time to pick up the phone
and call your pastor.
Now, I'm not going to reject your phone call,
but what I would expect,
the first phone call you make is to God.
You say, God, I'm struggling.
God, I've got a burden.
God, I've got concerns.
I've got issues.
And Lord, the only person that I can rely on,
the only person that I know
that can bear my burden
and help me in this journey is you.
Because the Bible says,
cast in all your care upon him,
for he careth for you.
See, God can do something about your burdens.
Now, look, it's very rare for us to do too much.
Like, we are limited beings.
You know, we can't change the events
and causes of someone's personal life.
Again, we can come alongside.
We can weep.
Look, if you've got an issue,
I'm not saying don't call me.
Call me.
That's one of my jobs as a pastor
is to pray for you.
And if I give you some biblical advice,
I'll do that.
But I should be secondary, down the list.
Like, God's up there,
and then Pastor Kevin's down here,
and then other people,
other friends are down there,
compared to God.
But many times,
when we go through burdens and trials,
we reach out to man first.
No, reach out to God.
God careth for you.
You see, every other human being
has problems,
has burdens themselves.
You know, is there anyone here,
bold enough to say,
our pastor,
I've got no problems in life.
I've got no burdens.
It's too easy.
Life is just too easy for us.
Everyone's got burdens, right?
Whether it's your health,
whether it's relationships,
whether it's your finances,
whether it's, I don't know,
your spiritual situation, right?
There's so many burdens
that we all carry at different times.
And guess what that means?
Everybody else is carrying burdens.
And brethren,
God is the only one that can carry them.
In fact, in the mindset of eternity,
Christ already carried your burdens
to the cross.
He already paid for the sins,
and not just the sins,
but the consequences of sins, okay?
Jesus Christ was able to take on
every punishment,
all the curses of sin upon himself,
all the sorrow,
all the hurt,
all the sicknesses,
all the curses because of sin
upon his body.
God's already borne them on the cross.
So going to God,
he knows what your issue is.
He knows what you're struggling with.
Go to God first.
The problem with you coming alongside
brother, tell me about your issues.
Sit down with me.
Look, I get a lot of issues.
And look, I need you to understand,
if you call me about a problem,
I'm not going to reject you, okay?
I'm going to hear what you have to say,
all right?
But here's the thing.
I don't need to know
every little bit of detail.
Even as your pastor,
I don't need to know.
I don't need to know
every skeleton in your closets.
It's very easy for you to say to me,
pastor,
can you just pray for my marriage?
That tells me enough.
I don't need to know about
your argument last night.
I don't need to know what you
expressly argued about last night.
I don't need to know anything about that.
I just pray for me and my wife,
pray for my marriage,
pray for my husband.
I will do that.
I will take it to the Lord.
I will take it to the one
that saw everything,
that knows everything,
that knows if it's your blame
or your spouse's blame
or if it's both your blame.
God knows.
I will take it to him.
And that is my job as a pastor.
I don't need to know every detail.
Be careful when people come alongside
and say give me every detail of your issue.
Because you don't know how they're
going to use that information, okay?
And even if they're well-meaning,
you don't know how that information
might be translated elsewhere,
how it might be communicated elsewhere
and now that help is not helpful
because it's caused you other problems.
But see, help is not helpful
when you put yourself in the place of God.
God is the one that can carry our burdens.
He is the one that cares for us.
You're still there in 1 Peter.
Can't we meet to 1 Peter 4?
1 Peter 4.
Ramsey, can I bother you for a cup of water?
1 Peter 4, please.
Look at verse number 15.
1 Peter 4, verse number 15.
But let none of you suffer as a murderer
or as a thief or as an evildoer
or as a busybody in other men's matters.
You know, one of the things I hate the most
just in life, not even necessarily as a Christian,
just in life, I hate busybodies.
I do and I preach about these things a lot, okay?
Because look, I mean, look at the list
that being a busybody is within.
Murderer, thief, evildoer, busybody.
Like you think being a gossiper,
being involved in other people's matters,
you know, forcing yourself in other people's situation,
you think, oh, that's something minor.
Look, it's compared to murderer and thief
and all this kind of stuff, right?
I mean, it's pretty wicked.
And see, when you start to involve yourself
in somebody else's life, it's very easy,
even if you don't intend it,
very easy to become a busybody.
Because when you start to hear gossip,
you know what the natural man does.
Oh, tell me more.
I want to know more about the situation.
What else? What do you think?
What happened? Oh, really?
Look, it's so easy to become a busybody, okay?
And look, it's so wicked.
It's so wicked.
You know, we all have our own lives, okay?
And once again, God sees the challenges
that we face, we have our own challenges,
we have our own family issues, whatever it is.
You know, when you get yourself in someone else's business,
oh, but I'm trying to help.
It's not helpful.
You're becoming a busybody.
You know, you're trying to understand
every little bit of detail,
but you don't understand the context.
You don't understand the history.
You don't understand every scenario
that person might be going through.
And you're going to end up with a perception
of that person's life or that person's sin
or that person's struggle, that person's faults
differently to the reality of that person's life.
I've seen it so many times.
People make these final conclusions about somebody.
They got so involved in their business
and it's not even the reality of that person's life.
You've become a busybody.
You've tried to interpret their life
in light of your understanding, which is faulty.
And it causes damage.
You know, it causes hurt and pain.
You know, especially if you're a busybody
and you start to gossip that information to somebody else.
It's so easy.
That's why I don't want to know about
every little detail of your life
because I talk to a lot of people.
I'm constantly on emails.
I'm constantly on messages.
I'm constantly on phone calls.
And if I'm not careful, I might say something
about one person to another person.
So I'd rather just not know.
I'd just rather know the general gist.
All right, I'll be praying for you.
Understand.
We'll take it to the Lord.
But help is not helpful because we're in this situation
when it encourages you to become a busybody.
You want to know about everybody's issues.
Come with me to Romans chapter five.
Romans chapter five.
And I know a few of these things
I kind of mentioned a little bit in the introduction,
but I just want to give you some scriptures
to think about also.
When you come alongside someone and try to help them
when it's not the right time to help,
I sort of mentioned this before,
but you rob someone of their potential to grow.
You rob someone of their potential to grow.
Look, I'll give you just an on-the-job scenario.
There was a, you know, I was in a management role
and I had some supervisors under me.
And I recently promoted one person
into a position of a supervisor
because I felt this person had the qualities.
You know, they could step up.
They could challenge themselves.
But this one individual, when they step up to the role,
were very insecure about taking on the position.
And then every hour of the day,
I'd get a knock on the office.
Hey boss, can I talk to you about this?
Can I talk to you about this?
At first, you know, I started to give some advice
and some counsel.
Eventually I got to a point where I was like,
look, you've got to stop coming to me.
I promoted you for a reason.
I promoted you because I saw some qualities in you.
I know you can do this job.
Like you got to learn to trust yourself.
You've got the skills.
If I'm coming and sorting out every issue
there was no point of employing you.
I can do the job myself.
You're there to do the role.
And look, once that person realized
that their burden was for themselves,
guess what?
They flourished in their role.
But while they were asking questions
and going back to the boss and making sure
and checking with this person
and checking with that person,
they never grew.
They never learnt.
At some point, you've got to bear that burden alone
because those burdens have a purpose in your life.
Look at Romans chapter five, verse number three.
Romans chapter five, verse number three.
And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also.
Tribulations is the word trouble.
We glory in trouble also.
Why do we glory in trouble?
Why do we glory in tribulations?
You say, Pastor, I don't want to glory in tribulations.
I want to run away from my problems.
I want to run away from my burdens.
Why should I glory in this?
Well, it says here,
knowing that tribulation worketh patience.
Look, if you're going through some tribulation right now,
maybe God has said, you know what?
You need to learn a bit of patience.
You need to become more long suffering.
You have to become more patient in your life
and God will send you a problem.
See, God is at work.
He's trying to refine you.
He's helping you grow.
And when someone comes alongside,
let me take that problem away from you.
Well, you're robbing me for my potential to grow.
You're robbing me for my opportunity to learn patience.
And what else?
Verse number four.
And patience, experience.
And experience, hope.
Right?
I mean, the more trials you go through,
the more burdens you go through,
and you learn how to overcome that,
you get through to the other side,
it gives you experience.
You'll be better prepared for the next time
you go through a trouble.
Or you'll be a support to someone
that's going through a trouble similar to yours.
And you can say, hey, I went through that as well, brother.
This is how I handle it.
Now that might work for you.
Experience and hope.
Hope has been hopeful for the future.
Having a positive outlook.
Right?
And then verse number five.
And hope, make if not ashamed.
Because the love of God is shared abroad in our hearts
by the Holy Ghost, which is given unto us.
That hope, that positive mindset
is really where you want to get to in life.
Where you've got a problem, you've got a burden,
and yes, there's a time to weep.
Yes, and there's a time to cry out to the Lord and say,
Lord, I don't know what to do.
You know, please help me.
But at the same time, at the same time,
while you're going through that down,
when you're heavy laden in that regard,
if you've gone through trials
and you've come through the other side,
you will start to learn to be positive minded.
You go, Lord, I don't know what your plan is for me right now,
but I know when I get through this issue,
it's going to be for my profit.
Lord, I know there's something more
you're going to teach me.
I know I'm going to grow through this situation.
I know I'm going to be more mature.
I know I'm going to be more like Jesus Christ
when I get through the other side.
It doesn't feel good right now, Lord.
I need to cry out to you,
but I've got a positive mindset.
I'm hopeful because I know you're going to come through
and help me.
And Brevin, this is part of maturity.
This is part of growth, okay?
Having burdens, going through troubles,
going through difficulties.
God allows this in your life so you can grow.
So would you really want someone to come alongside
and remove that burden from you
when God is trying to work in your life?
God is trying to profit you.
God is trying to help you.
Now God's not going to send you a problem so great
that you can't carry, all right?
And when you get to a point where you feel like,
Pastor, I can't carry it,
that's when you take it to God, right?
Cast all your care upon Him
because He cared for you.
So the right attitude when you go through problems
and tribulations is,
I can't wait to see how God uses this situation.
I can't wait to see how God is going to make something good
out of this tough time.
And look, if you've not taken that view,
if you're going through a problem right now
and you've not been that kind of person,
look, I don't think you're an idiot.
I don't think, like, it's hard.
It's hard.
It requires maturity.
That's why God wants to work in you.
Like, even me, when I'm going through difficulties,
I'm not like, yes, whoa, yes, God.
I'm like, not again.
What's this issue about?
You know, am I going to fail?
You know, well, God, what have I done?
I don't know what to do.
You go through these periods of fear and concern and loss,
but, see, God is refining us.
God is making us into something greater,
someone that can be hopeful,
someone that can be positive-minded,
someone that has experience.
Come with me to 1 Samuel 17.
1 Samuel 17.
I gave you that example of my supervisor
who had a lot of questions.
And then when I said to them, look, you can do it.
You know, trust in your abilities.
All right?
Just give it your best effort, right?
What do you think that developed in that supervisor?
A bit of self-confidence, you think?
You know what?
I can do this.
I can do this on my own.
I don't need to run to someone else.
Well, when someone tries to help you and it's not helpful,
they try to remove that burden completely away from you,
it causes you to lose self-confidence.
Okay, self-confidence.
Now, look at 1 Samuel 17, verse number 32.
We're looking here at the story of David,
very famous story, you all know it,
when David had to deal with Goliath.
All right?
David was a shepherd boy.
David was not a soldier, if you know the story.
He's a young lad.
He's not a soldier.
He's a shepherd boy.
And he comes to the battlefield.
He sees the Philistines mocking the Israelites
and he sees Goliath and he goes,
why isn't anyone taking down Goliath?
All right?
And David's like, I can take down Goliath.
I mean, he's got confidence.
He's got a lot of self-confidence.
Why does he have the confidence?
We'll look at verse number 32, 1 Samuel 17, 32.
And David said to Saul,
let no man's heart fail because of him,
because of Goliath.
Thy servant will go and fight with this Philistine.
And Saul said to David,
thou are not able to go against this Philistine
to fight with him for thou art but a youth.
And he a man of war from his youth.
It's like, David, you're just a young lad.
Are you kidding me?
You've not been a soldier.
You're a young guy.
This guy is a seasoned veteran soldier.
All right?
There's no way you can take him on.
Verse number 34.
And David said unto Saul,
thy servant kept his father's sheep.
All right?
That's what he was.
He was a shepherd.
And there came a lion and a bear
and took a lamb out of the flock.
Now, brothers and sisters in the Lord,
if you're in your backyard,
let's say you have a pet dog
or a pet cat or something, all right?
In your backyard.
And a lion or a bear comes into your backyard
and, you know, it's hunting down
your little precious pet
or it's got your pet in its mouth.
What are you going to do about it?
Like, seriously, just.
Probably, yeah.
Look, honestly, if a lion or bear,
you know, was in my backyard,
I'd be calling animal control.
I'd be calling the council.
I don't know what I'd be calling the police.
I don't know.
I'd be calling somebody, wouldn't I?
Like, you think there's no way
you're going to take on a lion or a bear.
But look at David.
He says in verse number 35.
And I went out after him
and smote him and delivered it out of his mouth.
And when he arose against me,
I caught him by his beard
and smote him and slew him.
Okay.
Just look, I took on the bear.
I destroyed the bear.
I took on the lion.
I destroyed the lion.
Verse number 36.
Thy servant slew both the lion and the bear.
And then he says this.
And this uncircumcised Philistine
shall be as one of them,
seeing he hath defied the armies
of the living God.
David said, Moreover,
the Lord that delivered me
out of the paw of the lion
and out of the paw of the bear,
he will deliver me out of the hand
of this Philistine.
And Saul said unto David,
Go and the Lord be with thee.
Brethren, David did not call animal control.
All right.
David did not call the cops.
He did not call the army.
When he saw the bear and the lion
in his field, hunting his sheep,
he went out and took him out.
Now, do you think a bear
and a lion is a big burden?
It's a huge burden.
That's why we'd rather run away from it.
We'd rather somebody else
handle the situation.
We'd rather somebody else come
and carry our burdens.
Let's call the bear control.
Let's call the lion control.
Whatever it is.
All right.
Or if you've got some weapons at home,
guys, bring your weapons.
Something like this, right?
It's very rare for us to go out,
you know, like a David,
like a shepherd,
you know, with very few instruments of war
to get out there and take on
this great burden.
But he took on the burden, you know?
And as he took on his burdens,
guess what?
He grew in confidence.
So much so that even though
he's not a soldier in the army,
when he sees Goliath,
a seasoned big man,
big muscles,
huge stature of a soldier,
he goes,
I can take him down.
I can take down the next burden
because I've taken on other burdens
in the past.
You see, when you carry your own burdens
and you don't let people
take it away from you
or you don't run away from it,
it develops self-confidence.
Confidence in yourself.
I've done it before,
I can do it again.
I've taken on other character,
I can take on the bigger challenge
because I've proven,
I've got a track record
that I've done well in my life before.
Now, look, David's a great man here.
You know, he doesn't glory in himself.
He glories in the Lord, right?
In verse number 37,
he said,
David, moreover,
said, moreover,
the Lord that delivered me
out of the port of the lion
and out of the port of the bear,
because it wasn't really me,
it was the Lord.
The Lord gave me the ability.
The Lord is the one that helped me
take on these burdens.
And now he's got the experience.
He's able to now,
he's hope, he's got hope.
I can take on Goliath.
And, brethren,
this is why you don't want to
just hand your problems
and your issues to your pastor
or to always your parents
or, you know, some friend,
because you're going to lose out
on the opportunity
to develop self-confidence,
to develop a track record.
So, when future problems come,
you're ready to take them on.
You've got the confidence.
Yes, I can do it again.
You're in 1 Samuel.
Come with me to 2 Samuel.
2 Samuel chapter 6.
Now, I don't want this sermon
to be misunderstood.
I'm not saying never come alongside
and help someone out in a problem.
Okay?
In fact, that's what David
exactly did.
This problem of Goliath
was a problem of soul
and the armies of Israel.
And guess what?
David comes alongside
and carries their burden.
Okay?
But, so, that is an important part.
I don't want you to completely
go to a point where
I'm never going to help anybody.
I heard pastor Kevin's sermon.
You know, brother so-and-so
is going through a hardship.
Forget about it.
He's got to go through the experience.
I don't care about it.
Right?
He doesn't need me
because I'm going to make things worse.
No, I'm not.
That's not the point.
What we saw earlier
when we saw Galatians chapter 6.
Hey, there is a time to carry
one another's burdens
but this was about time
for each person to carry
their own burdens.
And what we want to do
is when we see someone
going through a trial or difficulty,
we want to be able to make
the right decision.
Is it time for me to step in
or is this something
they need to carry?
Okay?
And that's the purpose
of this sermon tonight.
But 2 Samuel 6 and verse number 1.
2 Samuel 6 and verse number 1.
Now, next thing I want to talk about
is sometimes,
look, if you've tried to help,
if you've been that person,
you've tried to help
but your help wasn't helpful.
You tried to help
but you only made things worse.
Okay?
If that's been you,
let me strongly encourage you
to just put your hand up
and say, look, I'm sorry.
I messed up.
I thought I could help
but I didn't.
I couldn't.
What I've seen in my life,
in church,
as a pastor,
what I've seen over the years
is that when someone's help
is not helpful,
when someone's help
has made things worse,
instead of acknowledging,
yep, I wasn't the right person
at this right time.
All right?
They start to say other things.
They try to hide
behind good intentions.
Oh, but I meant well.
I mean, it's great
that you meant well
but the end result is worse.
You know?
Like, but people do.
I meant to do that.
Like, I meant to help.
Oh, but I've done so much
for this person.
I've done so much
for that person.
Look, don't worry.
Just the situation
at hand right now.
Did you help
or did you not help?
And if your help
was not helpful,
your hope was worse,
just put your hand up.
I messed up.
Sorry about that, brother.
Sorry about that, sister.
I thought I could help
but I realised I was
out of my depth.
I've probably made it worse.
Please forgive me.
All right?
That's much better
than to hide behind
good intentions
but I meant well.
Don't worry if you meant well.
You caused problems.
Okay?
Now, look at 2 Samuel 6.
I want to show you a story
about good intentions.
2 Samuel 6, verse number 1.
Now, this is the time
when the Ark of the Covenant,
the Ark of God,
was taken by the enemy.
Long story,
but they're trying to bring
the Ark of the Covenant
back into Israel.
And it says there in verse number 1,
again, David gathered together
all the chosen men of Israel,
30,000,
and David arose
and went with all the people
that were with him
from Baal-e of Judah
to bring up from thence
the Ark of God,
whose name is called
by the name of the Lord of hosts
that dwelleth between the cherubims.
So, they're going to get
the Ark of God.
They're going to get
the Ark of the Covenant.
Do you guys know
what the Ark of the Covenant is?
You know, it's that Ark
where the priests
would have to carry on staves.
Okay, they had four priests,
two priests at the front,
two priests at the back.
They had these staves
and they would carry
the Ark of God
and inside the Ark
was the Ten Commandments,
was the Rod of Aaron.
It was Aaron, yeah, that's right.
And I think it was something else.
Showbread, I think, also in there.
But also, it was the Ark
where the Holy of Holies was
and they would sometimes
once a year sprinkle blood
upon the top of that altar.
But anyway,
so this is a precious ornament
to the Israelites
and so they're bringing that back
and it says here in verse number three,
and they set the Ark of God
upon a new cart
and brought it
out of the house of Abinadab
that was in Gibeah
and Uzzah and Ahio,
the sons of Abinadab,
drove the new cart.
That sounds great, Pastor.
You know, they got a new cart.
It's been recently made.
It must be strong.
It must be able to carry
that covenant securely
and so they're doing
the best they can, Pastor.
You know, they've got
good intentions, Pastor.
They're bringing it on this new Ark.
But again, if you know
the Commandments of God,
that's not how they were to carry
the Ark of the Covenant.
The Ark of the Covenant
had to be carried by staves
by the priests.
It had to be walked.
It was literally a burden
on the shoulders of the priests.
Okay, but they wanted to remove
the burden and put it on a cart.
Okay, let the horses pull it
or whatever it was, right?
It says here the, what was it?
The oxen, all right?
And then it says in verse number four,
and they brought it
out of the house of Abinadab
which was at Gibeah,
accompanying the Ark of God
and Ahio went before the Ark
and David and all the house of Israel
played before the Lord
on all manner of instruments
made of fir wood, even on harps
and on salt trees and on timbrels
and on corn and on cymbals.
So they've got this wonderful music playing
as the Ark has been carried.
They're excited.
They're happy.
You know, we've got it back.
We're going to bring it back.
Verse number six.
And when they came to
Nacon's fresher floor,
Azar put forth his hand
to the Ark of God
and took hold of it
for the oxen shook it.
So the oxen carrying the Ark, right?
In a new cart.
It gets a bit unstable.
The cart wobbles
and the Ark starts to tip over.
Now, Azar had good intentions.
He gets ready to hold the Ark.
I don't want it to,
we don't want it to fall.
So he puts his hand out to steady it.
God, that's good intentions, pastor.
He means well.
Verse number seven.
And the anger of the Lord
was kindled against Azar
and God smote him there for his error
and there he died by the Ark of God.
He said, but pastor, he had good intentions.
Yeah, but he was not to touch it.
Only the priests
were allowed to touch it, okay?
He was not to be carried in that manner.
But he did it.
He had good intentions
and God kills him
because of his good intentions.
Reverend, don't hide behind good intentions.
You make someone's life worse.
Just say, man, I made it worse.
I'm sorry.
You're better doing that, okay?
Look at verse number eight.
David was afraid.
David developed a fear of God right there.
Whoa.
God just killed a man
who had good intentions.
But see, even though he had good intentions,
the problem is
he did not follow the commandments of God.
See, God would prefer obedience, okay?
Then good intentions.
Good intentions that end in a bad result.
God prefers your obedience.
And if only they did it the right way.
So David starts to ask the question,
how are we going to bring this thing?
Now, just very quickly,
I'll just read to you
from 1 Chronicles 15 verse one,
just very quickly.
It says, and David made him houses
in the city of David
and prepared a place for the Ark of God
and pitched for it a tent.
And then David said,
none ought to carry the Ark of God
but the Levites.
For them have the Lord chosen
to carry the Ark of God
and to minister unto him forever.
And David gathered all Israel
together to Jerusalem
to bring up the Ark of the Lord
into his place,
which he had prepared for it.
Did David learn his lesson?
Absolutely.
He goes, look, nobody's allowed to carry that.
Except the Levites.
Except the priests.
They're the only ones.
That's what God commanded.
Regardless of good intentions,
okay, good intentions are wrong
at the end of the day
if it ends in a bad result.
Good intentions are wrong
if it makes a situation worse.
You'd rather be obedient.
You'd rather do things God's way
all the time, okay?
And doing things God's way all the time
will always have a positive result.
What I'm saying, brethren, is
look, be careful when
people are just all over you
to help you and you know
it's not helpful.
Maybe be honest.
Look, brother, I know you mean well
but I've got this.
I'm fine.
I'm fine, brother.
I've got this.
Now, the next thing I want to talk
to you about is this.
Sometimes we think of burdens and trials
and many times people think of this
as a bad thing, okay?
Now, what I want to say to you, brethren,
is that being busy,
all right, I feel like
I'm a very busy person, okay?
But being busy and hardships,
they're not bad things, okay?
Being busy and having hardships
are not bad things.
You know, I listen to a lot of,
I don't just read my Bible.
You know, I always do other things.
I try to listen to, you know,
just good advice just about life
and maybe investments
and just different things about life
and one thing I always see
is that people are always seeking
to retire as early as they can.
Now, like that sounds really good.
Like really, it sounds wonderful.
Like the idea of just retiring,
not having to work,
being self-dependent
and again, you know,
if God's blessed you
and he's given you that ability
and you have to step away
from Monday to Friday kind of work,
I'm not blaming you,
but I'm saying, hey, keep busy.
Keep busy, you know,
still handle issues,
keep yourself busy
because I don't know if it's a problem.
But business and hardship
are not bad things
and sometimes we want to run away
when things get too busy,
when they get too overwhelming.
Sometimes we want to run away
when things are too hard.
We want someone to come alongside
and take that difficulty away from us.
Brother Hayden, you've heard this
in a new life after church.
I know because I'm looking
at my illustration here
and I remember you told me
how to pronounce it.
But there's a, there's a,
I don't know if you've heard this story,
but it's well documented.
The monarch butterfly.
Okay, you know butterflies
start as a caterpillar
and then they get themselves in
not a cocoon, a chrysalis.
It's coming back to you now?
It's got a chrysalis.
All right, but that caterpillar,
that monarch, has to struggle.
Okay, as it tries to break itself
out of the chrysalis,
as it's emerging
and becoming that butterfly
and that metamorphosis,
it needs the struggle.
You may have heard a story,
I've heard it multiple times
in different ways taught,
where a man saw this monarch butterfly
struggling to come out of its chrysalis.
Okay, so he thought,
I'll be helpful.
Poor little creature.
Look how it's suffering.
I'm going to come alongside,
I'm going to start breaking it apart
so you can come out,
make it a little bit easier
so the butterfly doesn't have
to struggle so much
and then he can fly away.
Well, he broke the chrysalis,
he helped the butterfly out,
but when the butterfly came out,
it just fell to the floor.
The wings were underdeveloped,
they were too small,
the body was still too swollen.
Okay, and that caterpillar
then just died.
Okay, just perished very quickly
because it's not fit for life.
Okay, now this man,
he felt, man, I helped.
Yeah, but your help was not helpful.
Your help was a disaster.
Your help caused that caterpillar to perish.
It needed the struggle,
is what I'm trying to say.
As it struggles,
the wings develop,
the swollen part of the body,
the fluid goes into the wings,
helps them develop,
gets stronger,
so that when it comes out,
it's even better than it was
when it first went into that chrysalis.
I mean, you would say
the butterfly is much better
than the caterpillar.
The butterfly can fly,
it can get around a lot easier
than the caterpillar can.
But because someone could try it,
oh, I've got good intentions,
I'm going to help it,
you made it worse.
You know, life is a lot like that.
You know, and you come alongside,
always trying to help so and so,
you're making things worse.
They need the struggle,
or you need the struggle.
You know, stop running away,
stop giving it to somebody else,
just deal with it, handle it,
and say, God, you've given this to me
because you're trying to make me
into something better.
Business and hardships
are not bad things.
You know, I get a lot of people say to me,
and look, if you've said that,
because a lot of people have said it to me,
you know, I know you mean well,
you know, a pastor must be difficult,
two churches traveling back and forth
every week, this and that,
three, four sermons,
everyone says it to me.
But here's the thing,
this is a hardship that God gave me for a reason.
I don't know exactly why,
I don't know why,
I can't really tell you why.
Are there times that I just wish,
God, please just remove me,
this responsibility from my shoulders?
You know, God, can you just expedite a man
to come and take over this church
so I don't have to travel?
Do you think there are times
that my mind doesn't think that?
But I don't know what kind of pastor
I would be if I only had one church.
Maybe I'd be a failure of a pastor,
like maybe I'd be very selfish,
like I don't know, I don't know,
but God has given me a difficulty,
a hardship for a reason, okay?
And this is why, you know,
things can be difficult,
things can be hard,
but I know God is doing something in me,
I know God is trying to make me a better pastor,
you know, maybe a better father,
maybe a better husband,
maybe a better friend,
maybe someone that is more empathetical
when someone is going through a difficulty,
I don't know what it is,
but one thing I've learned in life,
if God's given me a hardship,
I'm not going to run away from it.
Sometimes people say, you know,
it must be hard for your wife with 12 kids.
It is hard, it is hard,
but would she be as good of a mother
if you're just the one?
I don't know, you know,
you know, maybe we needed this hardship,
maybe we needed this difficulty,
I'm giving you my examples,
you've got your examples.
All I'm saying to you is,
you get to a point,
this sermon is part of the Perfect Man series,
we're trying to become the perfect man,
you're going to get to a point,
as you grow mature,
where you say,
what, Lord, just bring on the hardship.
Lord, make it difficult,
because I want to grow,
I want to be better,
I want to learn something more,
I want to be a greater person in your sight,
I want to be more like Jesus Christ.
And so, Lord, if you need to send me the burdens,
you need to hand me the hardships,
then do it.
You know, my wife just gave birth, of course,
and it's not easy,
like a cesarean,
she struggles,
and there are tears at times,
but I know that that pain and suffering
that she's going to go through
is going to cause her,
not that she doesn't,
but it's going to cause her
to value this baby even more so,
because of the anguish,
because of the pain that she's gone through.
She's going to go,
man, it was all worth it in the end,
you know, this child was worth the pain,
the suffering, the labour,
the difficulty,
you know, any time a lady gives birth,
you know, you need that struggle,
you need that hardship,
so you can value what comes forth afterwards.
Can you come with me to,
come with me to 1 Thessalonians, please,
1 Thessalonians chapter 4,
1 Thessalonians chapter 4.
Let me give you an example,
just because I'm thinking about it right now,
of a situation where help is not helpful.
You know, sometimes when ladies give birth,
you know, it's not unusual for other ladies,
especially in churches,
to come alongside and say,
you know what,
we'll prepare a meal for you,
so you guys can relax,
and you know, take it easy,
we'll go and send you a frozen lasagna,
or whatever it is, right,
something you can heat up in the oven,
something you can heat up in the microwave maybe.
And look, there's nothing wrong
with that in of itself.
Please don't misunderstand what I'm about to say.
You know, if people want to do that,
if people want to bless one another like that,
go for it,
or if the Lord's putting your heart,
go for it,
and I'm not saying it's a bad thing,
but one thing we've experienced,
and I won't say,
because it was actually in Old Church anyway,
but one thing I've heard other women also speak about,
is when someone prepares a meal,
oh, I want to go and bless,
I want to go and help sister so-and-so
who's just given birth.
Okay, great,
you make them a meal,
knock on their door,
all right, sister so-and-so,
this is what you should do,
I've prepared a meal for you,
all right,
you don't have to cook tonight,
or tomorrow night you can just stay in the fridge
until tomorrow,
all right,
this is going to make your life easier,
God bless you sister,
praying for you,
you know,
hope you fully recover,
and are keeping you in mind,
thank you for being an encouragement to me,
see you later.
That would be helpful.
But sometimes,
oh, sister can I come in,
I've got a meal for you,
can I see the baby,
can I sit down and have a conversation with you,
then they're there for an hour,
they're there for two hours,
they're there for five hours,
and you know what that mum
who's just had a baby is saying,
I'm in pain,
I'm sleepy,
I need to breastfeed this child,
I don't want to breastfeed in front of you,
can you please go home,
but I don't know how to tell you to get lost,
because you've been so nice to me,
but your help is no longer helpful,
you're making my day stressful,
that happens,
and I've heard people complain about it,
you see there's nothing wrong with the meal in itself,
but that's the help,
boom,
but sometimes people take this view that,
I don't know why,
because you know everyone is important in God's eyes,
and I don't want to attack,
like I don't want to attack people,
because people do mean well,
they have good intentions,
as I had good intentions,
right,
but it still bothered David
when he saw what God did to him,
people have good intentions,
but it's so easy,
what we saw earlier was to become
that busy body,
you know,
and then they go to church,
oh yeah,
I was helping sister so and so,
I was at her house for five hours,
oh man you must be such a great lady,
and you caused problems,
you made it more difficult,
you made it more stressful,
that's not the time for the gossip and the chatter,
where did I get to turn?
1 Thessalonians chapter 4,
verse 11,
1 Thessalonians 4, 11 it says,
that ye,
sorry,
and that ye study to be quiet,
and to do your own business,
that means mind your own business,
get busy with your own life,
and to work with your own hands,
as we commanded you,
that ye may walk honestly toward them that are without,
and that ye may have lack of nothing,
you know it says that you may have lack of nothing,
that's saying that you're perfect,
you're well rounded,
you're not lacking any major things in life,
you need to get to the point where you learn how to be quiet,
you learn how to mind your own business,
to do your own business,
to work with your own hands,
not always to rely on everybody else to get you through life,
this is part of growing and becoming a perfect,
well-rounded person.
So brethren, let me just summarize,
I'm not near the end,
let me just summarize very quick,
because I spent most of my time explaining
when your help is not helpful,
okay, but I do want you to understand,
and let me summarize very quickly,
the problems when you try to help and it's not the right time,
let me just summarize those points very quickly once again,
number one, you're putting yourself in a place of God,
okay, number two, it's encouraging you to be a busybody
in other people's matters,
number three, you're robbing someone of their potential to grow,
okay, those are the key reasons,
and you need to assess this,
you need to ask yourself these questions,
before I just step in and help someone,
am I the right person?
Okay, now let me conclude with when should you help?
Because we should help,
okay, it's the first thing that we saw,
this is the law of Christ,
we saw it earlier,
God does want us to be there and to bear one of those burdens,
but when is that situation?
Well, first of all, ask yourself this question,
is the person who's suffering that burden,
are they under your authority?
If they're under your authority, it's an automatic yes,
I do have to help this person,
husbands, if your wife has burdens,
you don't just say, oh honey, that's your problem,
oh, she's under your authority,
okay, you're the leader in that scenario,
right, you work it together,
I don't like these marriage situations that I hear about,
oh, he lives his life, she lives her life,
he's got his finances, she's got her finances,
he's got his burdens, she's got his burdens,
basically we have nothing in common
except that we live on the same roof
and we have the same kids.
Now look, if someone's under your authority,
it's an automatic yes, okay,
if you have children that are going through difficulties,
it is your burden to carry, okay,
as an employer, if you're an employer
and your employees aren't able to do the job properly,
they're failing on your job,
it's your responsibility as the employer
to come alongside that employee,
how can I help you?
What is it that you need?
You need more training,
how can I give you the confidence you need to further
and to do the work that you need to do?
If they're under your authority,
it's an automatic yes.
The next thing that you should think about is this,
ask, don't presume that somebody needs help, ask, okay,
don't be like, oh, you know,
well, let's say someone's, I don't know,
brother Les, you're suffering a very problem,
brother Les, well see, here's your problem,
here's your situation,
I mean, did he ask for my help?
No, ask, you know, brother,
I know you're going through some difficulties right now,
is there anything I can do to help?
You know, sister, you know,
you're struggling with this scenario,
I had a very similar scenario in my life too,
going back 10 years ago,
would you like to hear how I overcame that?
Ask, don't just throw your 10 cents, all right,
don't presume that area,
they just wanna hear what you have to say,
ask, all right, and when someone says,
yes, I would like your help,
the next question is,
not, this is not what you say,
well, this is what I can do to help you,
no, how can I help you,
how would you like me to help you?
Because they've already assessed
with the kind of help they need,
they already understand the stress
and the struggle they're going through,
now's your time to say,
hey, how can I come alongside and help you?
Ask them, okay,
don't just presume,
don't just be so prideful
to think I'm the person,
I can accomplish this,
ask them if they genuinely need help.
The point number three here,
is learn to categorize the problem or the burden,
okay, learn how to categorize it,
assess the situation,
now, this is my advice,
I'm not gonna be able to pull
a Bible verse out of this,
but I believe this is God's intention
with Galatians chapter six,
is the burden this person's suffering with,
is it a one-off situation
or is it an ongoing situation?
Is it an unexpected scenario
and an emergency scenario
or is it an ongoing issue
that this person has for the rest of their life?
You need to decide,
look, I say if it's a one-off,
emergency, unknown,
you know, out of the blue,
that's the time to help them, okay?
Because they weren't prepared, all right?
It just happened,
it's a rare occasion,
it's time to step in
and try to be a help, all right?
Let me give you an example,
let's say kids, okay?
My wife's just had a baby
and we already had some people come and say,
hey, I've got some food for you,
you know, here's some gifts,
here are some outfits for the little one,
hey, that's a great way to help us, you know?
I mean, are babies,
you know, are we popping out babies
every single day,
every single week, every single month?
No, we're going at least nine months,
no, we're going along with that,
no, we're going at least three years
or three years before a baby's been popped out,
look, that child is a one-off scenario, all right?
And it's fine for people to come alongside,
you know, hey, I've prepared a meal,
here are some clothes,
here are some things that I,
you know, we can help you with,
that's fine.
But you know, that baby
is going to be in the parent's life
every single day of their life
until they're old enough to leave home, okay?
Now that becomes an ongoing thing.
So you may have helped out
in a one-off situation time,
but are you going to help out
every single time?
Are you going to say,
hey, you know what,
you're struggling with your children,
leave them at my house.
Other times that can happen
where mother's so stressed
and she says, you know,
I might just leave them
at the grandparents' house
just one day so I can just get a breather,
I think that's fine.
A one-off emergency,
just blow some steam, relax.
But what happens if it becomes
an everyday situation?
I can't handle the kids,
let's just dump them out
over at the grandparents,
let's dump them over at this house
or let them,
let's just dump them
at the school system.
Look, that's not helpful, okay?
People have to learn
to carry their burdens.
And again, I saw this in the workplace
where, you know, look,
if you're taking your kids
to school for an education
or praise God for that,
okay, if the purpose is education.
But one thing I observed
when I was on the job,
it wasn't about the education.
It wasn't about the education.
Mothers just wanted to dump the kids
and wanted nothing to do with them
because come school holidays times,
okay, when school holidays come around
and the kids are at home,
guess what all the mums
at work complain about?
Oh, the kids are home.
Oh, I can't wait for the holidays to be over.
I can't wait to get them out of the house.
I can't wait for them
to get them back to school.
So, it wasn't about education, was it?
You just want them off your hands
because they don't want
to carry their burdens.
They've not learned
how to carry the burdens.
The government system
has come alongside,
hey, as soon as your child's
a few weeks old,
you can leave them in daycare,
you can leave them in this,
you can leave them in that,
you can leave them in preschool,
you can leave them in school,
you can leave them in high school,
and then they grow up
and then they don't even know who you are.
You've never carried the burden.
You don't know what it's like.
And when the kids are home from school,
on school holidays,
the mothers can't handle it.
They've never dealt with it.
Did the government really help them?
No, they can't even handle
their own children.
So, categorise the problem.
Is it a one-off?
Is it an unexpected situation?
You know, is it a reoccurring
or a frequent burden?
If it's ongoing and frequent
and you know it's going to be
part of their life long term,
that's for them to carry.
That's a time for them to carry
because they need to learn
how to carry it
with the Lord God at their side.
I'll give you one more example, okay?
On the job,
value employee lady,
you know, we gave her a pay advance, okay?
Because, I'll just share,
you know, her husband
essentially became a bum, okay?
Her husband just said,
I'm not going to work anymore.
I'm done, all right?
Just lazy man,
just playing video games probably
or something like that, right?
And so, she was struggling
to pay the bills and, you know,
her husband didn't care.
And so, she asked for a pay advance.
So, instead of just getting
a single pay slip for that week
or whatever fortnight, whatever it is,
you know, she got an extra
fortnight pay in advance.
All right, look,
it's a stressful situation,
you know, fell upon her,
she's got children,
she's got bills,
she's got a rent or mortgage,
whatever it was to pay for.
All right, we'll help,
you know, you're a valid employee,
we'll be a support to you in this time.
But what happened after?
After another two weeks?
Oh, can I have another pay advance?
Two weeks later,
can I have another pay advance?
You know, kept going.
This kept going for about
two or three months.
Can I have another pay advance?
And look, me as a manager,
I'm thinking, at the time,
I'm thinking, oh, I want to help her.
I want to be a help.
But was my help helpful at that time?
When it's just one advance,
another advance, another advance,
another advance.
You know, I realised we can't,
this can't go on forever.
This is no longer a one-time,
urgent time or event.
This is becoming a long-term thing
and I've got to put a stop to it.
So I called my employee into the office
and said, look, we're putting an end
to your advance payments.
That means the next fortnight
you're not going to get paid
because you're already in advance, right?
You're going to have to wait a whole month
before you get your next payslip.
Look, we've tried to help you.
You know, we've cared for you.
We value you.
I don't want you to get the wrong impression.
You know, I hope the best for you.
Hope you sort out your family issues,
but we just can't continue doing this.
Well, that employee got upset with me,
got mad, you know.
Oh, how can you do this?
Blah, blah, blah, whatever it is.
And you know, I mean, we somewhat
made peace at the end of it,
but at the end of the day, you know,
she left angrily out of the office.
Anyway, as time went on after a bit of time,
probably after the month,
that same employee came into my office
and said, boss, I just want to have
a quick chat with you.
I said, okay, sat down and she said,
look, I'm really sorry for having
to go at you at the time when you
stopped the advance payments.
In fact, I realised when you stopped
giving me the advance payments,
that I finally had to make a decision.
I had to prioritise what are the
most important bills.
I had to rearrange our lifestyle.
I had to learn how to cut costs, you know.
And now, even though we're earning less,
even though my husband's not working,
now somehow we are doing better
than we have before financially.
Right now, we're not worried about bills
they've been taken care of
because we removed my help.
I was forced to make a change.
I was forced to reassess our financial position.
And boss, I just want to say thank you
for doing that.
Look, if I kept giving the pay advances,
she would not have gotten to that point
to sort herself out, sort out her life,
sort out her finances.
You had to pull away the help, okay.
And sometimes they get mad at you.
But in the long run, they'll learn, man,
I needed to go through that struggle.
I needed to learn something.
I needed to learn how to manage my finances.
So I know this works.
Like biblical principles,
they work everywhere in the world.
Every situation, biblical principles always work.
That's what makes the Bible
such an amazing book.
So brethren, the title for the sermon was
When Help is Not Helpful.
I hope I've given you some ideas,
some thoughts.
I don't know what you're going through right now.
I don't know if you're seeking help.
I'm not sure if you're seeking
to run away from problems.
I'm not sure if you're someone
that is trying to help
or you're making things worse.
And I hope I've given you
a different perspective of how to think.
When is it the right time to help?
And when is it without making things worse?
But the most important thing,
the most important advice
we can give anybody with this sermon,
you've got burdens, you've got problems.
You cast all your cares upon Him, upon God.
He's the one that's going to see you through.
Okay, let's pray.