Okay, Song of Solomon chapter 3 begins by saying,
by night on my bed I sought him.
So, oh, thank you.
So the fact that it says that I sought him,
again, you can see here
that the wife is seeking her husband.
The title for the sermon tonight is, I sought him.
I sought him.
She's looking for her husband.
She wakes up at night, she says,
by night on my bed, like she's on her bed,
and she goes, hold on, where's my husband?
So she goes and seeks him.
And not only that, it says,
So I sought him, whom my soul loveth.
She says, well, you know, I love my husband so much.
Where is he?
Right, it's nighttime.
He should be here with me.
And it says, but I found him not.
She went looking around the house.
Where are you?
She's gone to the next bedroom.
She's gone to the kitchen.
She's gone to the living room.
Where is my husband?
I can't find him.
And brethren, as we keep going through this chapter,
it's gonna be very clear
that the reason she's seeking him
is because she's desiring a physical,
she's desiring physical intimacy, okay?
And you know, when we go through the Song of Solomon,
you need to understand that
this topic comes up numerous times.
And because it's a song, it's in poetic language, okay?
And we shouldn't be ashamed,
and we shouldn't hide the fact
that a woman will need physical needs
and a man needs physical needs.
This is why God's created marriage.
This is why he's created a union
between husband and wife.
This is the very means that God will provide
to bring forth children into a relationship.
We can see that she wakes up
and she has a desire to be with her husband.
You say, where is he?
Well, we'll find out where he is in a moment.
Let's continue there in verse number two.
She says, I will rise now.
I'm gonna get up.
I'm gonna find my husband, right?
And go about the city in the streets.
She says, I'm gonna leave the house.
I'm gonna find where my husband is.
And in the broadways, I will seek him,
whom I so love her.
It says, I sought him, but I found him not.
So she leaves the house.
She goes walking around the footpath in the streets.
She goes into town.
And again, she's saying that I'm seeking him,
whom I so love her.
She says, I love my husband twice.
I love my husband.
I wanna be with him.
Where is he?
She's lying on her bed.
She's saying, look, my husband ought to be with me
on our marriage bed, but I can't find him.
Now, one thing that we see here
is the woman's desire to be with her husband, okay?
And it's vice versa, of course.
But if you can keep your finger there,
come with me to Genesis chapter three.
I wanna show you something in the scriptures here.
In Genesis chapter three, in verse number 16,
Genesis chapter three, verse number 16.
Genesis three, 16, we have, of course,
the situation where Adam and Eve
have sinned against the Lord.
They've eaten from the tree
of the knowledge of good and evil.
And then God pronounces certain judgments
that the husband is to work by the sweat of his brow.
But he says to the woman here in Genesis three, 16,
unto the woman, he said,
I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception
in sorrow that shall bring forth children.
He says, look, part of the judgment,
it's going to be more difficult.
The labor pains are gonna be more challenging
than they would have been when you bring forth children.
But then it says this,
and thy desire shall be to thy husband
and he shall rule over thee.
Look, if you're a feminist,
by the time you get to chapter three of the Bible,
you're gonna have a problem, okay?
It says that the husband is to rule over his wife.
Oh, how dare you say that, pastor?
I didn't say it, God said it.
That's his word.
The very foundations of marriage and union
and bringing forth children
is that the husband is to rule,
to be the head of his wife, to rule in his household.
And it's strange that women have a hard time
accepting that, but they've got no problem
going to work and saying,
my employer has the authority here.
And I've got to do what my employer says.
And that's a man you don't even love,
a man you don't have to spend your life with,
but the man that you're supposed to love,
the man that you're supposed to spend time with,
oh, I can't be under his authority.
But what I want you to notice it says
that her desire is toward him.
You see, it is within the nature of a woman
to be with a man.
It's within the nature of a woman
to have a man that will lead her,
that will love her, that will want to be with her,
that will provide for her.
All those things have already been built in
from the very beginning in the book of Genesis.
So as we get to the Song of Solomon,
and she says, where's my husband?
I don't want to be alone tonight on the bed.
Where is he?
This is a natural desire
that a woman ought to have for her husband.
And again, vice versa, there's nothing wrong
with desiring that physical intimacy
between husband and wife.
Go back with me to Song of Solomon chapter three.
Song of Solomon chapter three.
So she can't find him, right?
She can't find him in the house.
She can't find him out on the streets.
Where has he gone?
Verse number three.
The watchmen that go about the city found me.
The watchmen, obviously when you think of watchmen,
especially when you think of watchmen on the walls
of the city of Jerusalem,
they're obviously watching out for enemies.
All right, they're the watchmen.
They're watching out if any army is coming
to be sieged, the city,
if they see danger, they'll blow the trumpet,
the trumpet of war and the sound of alarm.
But these are watchmen that are within the city
and they found her there, right?
And this is probably the closest thing
to what we have today is like police officers, okay?
So you've got the police officers,
they found the queen, like she's the queen, right?
She's married to Solomon.
And they're like, what are you doing on the streets?
Now again, you know,
I'm not saying this literally happened.
Remember it's a song.
It's a work of poetry.
I want you to just remember that, right?
When you've got poetry, you know,
like the Psalms and your proverbs
and the song of Solomon,
you need to understand, you know,
there is truth in what you're reading.
And I'm not saying that she never went out
to the city looking for her husband.
I'm not trying to say that,
but I'm trying to help you understand
that this is singing, right?
It's creative language.
Part of what makes your English language beautiful
is the fact that we can express things
that we can use, you know, exaggeration.
We can use, you know, illiteration.
We can use rhyme.
We can use different forms to express,
you know, our love and desire.
And anyway, when it comes to this scenario here
in the song, the police find her,
the watchman find her.
They go, hey, queen, what are you doing here?
Like, why are you just walking around
at nighttime on the streets all by yourself, right?
You know, it could be dangerous
for you to be out on your own.
And then it says here, to whom I said,
so she responds to them,
saw ye him, whom I so love her?
She says to the police officers, the watchman,
have you seen, she doesn't say, have you seen the king?
She says, have you seen him, who my soul love her?
I mean, look, by the time you get to verse number three,
is there any doubt that the wife loves the husband?
I mean, verse after verse, who my soul love her?
Who my soul love her?
So much so that she's even expressing her love
to her husband, to the watchman.
I love that.
And I already told you how it's so important that,
look, the world has corrupted what love is.
Right, try before you buy, you know,
why get married, just move in and live together
and all that kind of nonsense,
fornication, who cares, you know,
giving your body over like a cheap car,
rather than treasuring what you have.
You know, the world has a corrupted view of what love is
and I think it's important as God's people,
we have his word,
that we demonstrate to our young people
what real love is,
like real love between husband and wife.
You know, I hope your children see mum and dad
who love one another, that say, I love you,
that buy nice gifts, that spend time together,
that speak together, all right?
That's, you know, designed to be together.
I hope our young children in our church say,
hey, you know what, those couples at church,
they're different from the world.
From what we see in the world,
but different from the music
and the lyrics of those songs,
I see men and women that expressively, openly, publicly,
love one another.
And she's got no problem expressing her love publicly
to the watchman.
She doesn't say, where's the king?
She says, where's the one that I love?
Well, that should be obvious to them, right?
Who's she speaking about?
Verse number four.
She says, but it was but a little
that I passed from them,
but I found him who my soul loveth.
Fourth time, in four verses, okay?
Cause I finally found him.
You know, whom I so loveth.
And then what, okay, so she's found him.
Oh, there he is, right?
I don't know what he's doing.
I don't know if he's hanging out with his mates.
I don't know if he's having some business meeting,
some late night business meeting.
I don't know what's going on in this situation.
But she finds him and that's what she does.
I held him and would not let him go.
So he's probably busy talking to his mates.
She comes along, she grabs him, holds him,
goes, where are you being?
I've been looking for you everywhere, right?
I'm not gonna let you go.
You're coming back with me tonight.
And so much so that it says,
until I had brought him into my mother's house
and into the chamber of her that conceived me.
The chamber they're referencing the bedroom.
And look again, you know,
I'll just read to you from Psalm 119 verse 140.
Thy word is very pure.
You know, again, I get a bit uncomfortable sometimes.
You know, expressing what the Bible was saying here
cause we know it's sort of like the physical intimacy
between husband and wife.
But you need to understand God's word.
Thy word is very pure.
Therefore thy servant loveth it.
And brethren, I love God's word.
I love God's word that I'm not gonna hide
what we're reading here in the Song of Solomon.
Of course, I'm not going to go into graphic details.
Okay, like some pastors do, have no problem going to.
Why go into graphic details
when the Bible doesn't go into graphic details?
Okay, when it comes to this topic of physical intimacy,
God sets a standard of how to talk about it.
And that's a very good standard to have.
You know, anything more graphic or anything more detailed,
that should be something reserved
between the husband and the wife, okay?
But notice that she brings him into,
what she says to her mother's house there,
into the chamber.
That's the bedroom of her that conceived me.
So she couldn't even wait to bring him back
to the palace.
She wanted to be with him physically
and so much so.
Now keep a finger there
and come with me to 1 Corinthians 7.
1 Corinthians 7.
And I know we looked at these verses earlier
in I think chapter one it might've been.
But 1 Corinthians 7, verse number one.
We read the first few verses before
but I just wanna build on that.
In 1 Corinthians 7, verse number one.
1 Corinthians 7, verse number one.
The Bible says,
concerning the things where of ye wrote unto me,
it is good for a man not to touch a woman, okay?
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication,
let every man have his own wife
and let every woman have her own husband.
Look, getting married is a right place
to express to one another your physical needs,
those physical desires that you have toward one another.
And then it says in verse number three,
let the husband, this is so important,
let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence.
What we're reading about in the Song of Solomon,
the wife has needs, physical needs.
So the instruction that God gives,
hey, give your wife that due benevolence.
Like this is the thing about marriage.
Your body is not your own.
When you made those vows one to another,
you're telling your spouse,
this body, I belong to you.
And this body, I belong to you.
We belong one to another, okay?
So if the wife has a physical need for a husband,
the husband ought to fulfill that, okay?
That's how the Bible describes that due benevolence.
And then it says,
and likewise, also the wife unto the husband.
Likewise, in the same way,
if the husband has a physical need,
physical desire for his wife,
then the wife ought to give of herself to her husband.
Okay?
Look at verse number four.
The wife have not power of her own body,
but the husband.
Oh, I can't believe the Bible says that.
All right?
Okay, you know, Miss Feminist.
Oh, you know, I can't believe you're saying,
the husband has power over the wife's body.
But then it says, and likewise,
also the husband have not power of his own body,
but the wife.
Who's got the power of your body,
ask the care of my wife?
And who's got the power over my wife's body?
I do.
That's what marriage is.
We're there to serve one another in all kinds of ways.
And the physical intimacy is one sure way
that we can serve one another as husbands and wives.
There's nothing wrong with this relationship, okay?
But it needs to be put in its right place in marriage.
And God will bless you in regards to that.
Look, and if you refuse,
if you, you know, if one spouse is the other spouse,
hey, can we spend the night together?
You know, and she goes out looking for you.
And you're out there with your mates.
And she goes, look, come home.
And you refuse.
You say, honey, I don't wanna be with you tonight.
You know, whatever reason you may have.
Look, obviously there are legitimate reasons in life.
Okay, but you know, being, using common sense, okay,
in this scenario, okay?
If you refuse to be intimate with your spouse,
the Bible says in verse number five,
the fraud ye not one the other.
He says, you're committing fraud.
If you're refusing to be physically intimate
with your spouse, when they have that desire,
you're committing fraud.
Think about that for a moment, okay?
Cause your body belongs to her and vice versa.
And you say, no, no, I'm not gonna give it to you.
Well, it belongs to her, okay?
You're defrauding that person.
It says, except it be with consent for a time.
If there's a period of time where you can both agree,
okay, let's go without for a period of time,
then that's fine.
It says here, that ye may give yourselves
to fasting and prayer and come together again,
that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
He says, look, there's a time,
if you need to have a time of prayer and fasting, okay?
Because when you're fasting,
you're withholding your bodily need.
Just saying, hey, I'm gonna go without food for a while.
Okay, so you're not giving anything your body desires.
And of course that includes physical intimacy.
And you say, look, we can set that aside
for a period of prayer and fasting
because of this great need, then that's fine.
As long as you both consent,
as long as you both agree, all right,
we'll go for a period of time,
we'll go for a day, we'll go for half a week,
we'll go for a week,
we'll give ourselves over to prayer and fasting,
whatever that period is.
But once you have fulfilled that period,
it says, and come together again.
He says, look, once that period is done,
come back together, spend time together,
that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
You see, when you withhold that physical intimacy
between husband and wife,
the Bible says that Satan will come and tempt you.
Satan will come along, you know,
and put thoughts into your mind.
You know, before you know it,
you know, you're not spending that physical time,
you might go on your computer,
you might go on Google and start looking at things
that you know your eyes should not be looking at.
Your heart might be looking at other,
you know, as a husband,
your eyes might be looking at other women.
Says, well, I'm going without my wife
for a period of time, I have these desires,
how am I gonna fulfill these desires?
Look, Satan's gonna come along,
and he can destroy your life.
Okay, Satan put tempta-,
look, don't forget, temptations are not a sin.
Giving into those temptations, okay,
fulfilling the lust of the flesh,
is when you commit sin.
When you're tempted, you say,
Lord, help me overcome this temptation.
Lord, please open away,
you know how Joseph overcame that temptation in the Bible?
He fled, he physically got himself out of that situation.
And I strongly encourage,
if there's ever a time of temptation
that is not in a rightful place in marriage,
between husband and wife,
you physically get yourself out of that situation.
You are not strong enough.
Look, Joseph is one of the most righteous,
spiritual men you read about in the Bible,
there's barely anything wrong,
I don't think of anything major wrong
that he did in his life.
He's a great man of God.
And even he had to go,
you know what, I can't withstand this.
I can't just defeat this emotionally and mentally.
He says, I need to get myself out, and he fled.
That's the way you overcome that kind of temptation.
You cannot be physically there,
you know, with those temptations in front of me,
you have to remove yourself completely
out of that situation.
Now, if you can, please come back with me to,
did I get to turn somewhere?
Yeah, 1 Corinthians 7, sorry.
Come back with me to Song of Solomon,
chapter three again, please.
Song of Solomon, chapter three.
Something else I want to make note of here
in verse number four.
It says that she goes,
until I had brought him into my mother's house.
So you can see here that her mother's,
her mother apparently has a house in Jerusalem.
And you know, does this mean that,
you know, one thing that might come up,
you know, keep your finger there.
Come with me to Genesis chapter two.
I think this is really important to look at.
Genesis chapter two.
Come with me to Genesis chapter two.
What I want to say to your brethren is,
when you get married, please move away from the in-laws.
I want you to start your marriage well, happy.
Okay, and if you didn't do that,
you probably know what I'm talking about.
It creates tension, creates challenges.
It's difficult for in-laws to let go of their children.
But you need to understand when you get married,
you've started a new family unit.
And I don't want you to use this excuse
that she took him to her mother's house to say,
see, there's no problem with living with the in-laws.
Look, are there emergency times
that you might need to move into the in-laws?
Of course.
You know, there are emergency situations that pop up, right?
If my kids are married,
and for some reason they lose their house,
they go through some difficulty,
and they're like, mom and dad,
can we come in and move with you for a while
until we get ourselves back on our feet?
Of course I'm going to permit that for a period of time.
But of course it's a temporary solution, isn't it?
It's not like permanent solution to the situation.
I know several marriages that should be happy
and loving and strong,
that because they started living with the in-laws,
okay, where the in-laws had too much influence,
too much power,
it just starts the marriage in a bad way.
Like conflicts, problems, stress,
who do you love more, my mom, your mom,
or do you love me, or vice versa.
This is not how a marriage ought to start.
Like, I think the best part of marriage
is the very beginning.
That's why it's called the honeymoon,
because you got no real responsibilities.
It's just you and your spouse
starting a new life together,
time for adventure,
time for a new chapter in life
before all the major responsibilities
start falling on your shoulders.
And the reason I got you to turn to Genesis 2, 21,
it says, and the Lord God
caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam,
and he slept, the first man and woman, of course.
And he took one of his ribs
and closed up the flesh instead thereof.
And the rib which the Lord God had taken from man,
made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
And Adam said, this is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh.
She shall be called woman
because she was taken out of man.
Now, I love the words that Adam says in verse number 24.
Like these words are repeated numerous times in the Bible.
They're repeated by Jesus Christ.
Now, before we read these words,
did Adam have an earthly mother and father?
He didn't, okay?
But he says words that are so important
that he references mother and father,
even though he's got no mother and father.
He says this in verse number 24.
Therefore, shall a man leave his father and his mother?
And shall cleave unto his wife
and they shall be one flesh.
He goes, you know what marriage is?
Leaving mother and father,
cleaving to the wife, we becoming one flesh.
He goes, we're siding a new family unit.
It's so important.
Even though he doesn't have mom and dad,
physical mom and dad, earthly mother and father,
he says, look, you've got to leave.
The very first sort of, you know,
definition, if you will, of what marriage is,
is we're starting a new family.
We're leaving mother and father.
It's not saying have nothing to do with them,
never talk to them, ignore mom and dad.
It's they no longer have authority in your life.
If you're gonna, you desire to get married,
you have to be ready to say, you know what?
I'm ready to leave mother and father.
You know, when my kids get married,
I don't want them running to dad
every time there's an issue, every time there's a problem.
No, you cleave to your spouse.
You work it out with your spouse.
That's what marriage is.
And as well meaning as your parents can be,
the in-laws can be, if you,
especially at the very beginning,
if you leave together, I'm just saying what I've observed.
Like I know, cause how the housing market's expensive.
Get into the housing market, it's expensive.
So I hear it all the time.
We can't afford it right now,
so we're just gonna move in with mom and dad.
When I got married, I was earning entry level,
low income and my parents and Christina's parents,
Christina's mom at the time, both said,
hey, why don't you come and leave with us?
And I was like, no, I know what the Bible says.
And I get along with Christina's mom
and she gets along with my parents, no issues there.
I was like, no, we're starting afresh.
The two of us alone, all right?
We need to leave together.
Like how can you cleave, how can you join together
in those very important first moments
when you're still got your apron strings
attached to mom and dad?
And look, they can't, mom and dad can't help it.
In-laws can't help it.
They're gonna give you their advice.
They're gonna give you their unsolicited opinions.
And it's going to frustrate your spouse.
And for the men, your mom's going to tell your wife
how to fold the clothes and she's gonna get frustrated.
And your mom's gonna tell your wife how to cook
and she's gonna get frustrated.
And it's gonna cause tension and problems
because there's about five ways to fold clothes
and there's a hundred ways to cook.
If you don't know how to cook, speak to me,
I can cook now.
But there's always this, oh, let me tell you
how it's done.
Oh, is that how you hung up the clothes
in the clothes line?
Oh, that's the wrong way.
No, it's not mom and all.
Okay, this is the way we do it.
Okay, and look, I just strongly encourage
you've got to leave mom and dad.
Again, emergency situation, something pops up,
I understand, but that should be a temporary scenario.
Okay, just to get you back on the feet.
And so don't misunderstand,
don't take Solomon out of context and go,
see Solomon and his wife were living with the in-laws.
He's the king.
He probably has multiple properties.
He's got the palace.
He's got the nicest house in the city.
He's probably got an investment.
In fact, he does have investment properties.
It gets brought up later on in the Song of Solomon.
And you think, oh man, we've got no choice
but to live with mom and dad.
That's not the scenario.
You know, you say, what scenario could this be?
Well, one easy scenario could be an inheritance.
Okay, like we have another story in the Bible,
in Genesis, we won't go there now,
where Abraham, Isaac, Isaac.
Sorry, it's gonna confuse me.
Isaac and Jacob, remember when Isaac
couldn't find a wife for a period of time
and a servant was sent out to bring Isaac a wife?
Well, when the wife comes back,
they went into his mother's tents.
Okay, and she became his wife.
They got married and they went into the mother's tents.
And the Bible says, you can look this up on your own.
He was comforted because of his mother's death.
That was his inheritance.
That's what his mother left.
All right, so hey, this is what we're gonna stay.
Okay, we'll be in my mother's tent here in this place.
This is what we're gonna start our life together.
So it could be an inheritance.
Don't forget, we're talking about kings here.
If my thought is correct,
that Solomon is speaking about his Egyptian wife,
it could be that Pharaoh in Egypt
has an investment property.
You know, mother has investment property in Jerusalem.
That wouldn't be uncommon.
That wouldn't be unheard of.
It's what people do today.
They have great wealth.
They've got properties and possessions
in different cities.
It might be that scenario.
You know, an Airbnb.
Mom's Airbnb or something like that.
You know, in Jerusalem.
But please don't take a song
and try to justify your decision to live with the in-laws.
It's just gonna hurt your marriage.
I don't care how close you are to the in-laws.
I've seen it time and time again.
And I've never seen that scenario work out.
If you, maybe you have seen it.
I'm just saying, I've not seen it.
I've not seen that situation
turn out for the better of the marriage.
If anything, it just causes more conflicts,
more problems, more to-moils.
And that's not how you wanna start a marriage.
Come with me to, back to Solomon,
Solomon, Solomon, chapter three.
And verse number five.
Solomon, Solomon, chapter three.
And verse number five.
So, husband and wife have been intimate,
have been physically intimate.
Then in verse number five, she says,
I charge you, oh, you daughters of Jerusalem,
by the rose and by the hinds of the field,
that ye stir not up, nor awake, my love, till he please.
So they've been physically intimate.
He's now sleeping, he's snoozing.
Okay, he's been up late at night.
She couldn't find him, remember?
She was sleeping in the bed, she was waiting for him.
And then he's out at night, he's out at night,
doing whatever he was doing.
So he's having a nap, and she says,
look, just let him sleep, all right?
This is time to rest.
And then verse number six.
Who is this that cometh out of the wilderness,
like pillars of smoke,
perfumed with myrrh and frankincense,
and with all powders of the merchants?
Now, again, I still believe
this is the wife speaking here, okay?
And it could be, like he was sleeping,
it could very well be that now he's awake,
he's waking out of bed, and she says,
who is this that cometh out of the wilderness,
like pillars of smoke?
Like if you were out in the wilderness,
and from a distance you're seeing pillars of smoke,
what's the impression?
You probably think there's some type of forest fire,
like there's something, like what's causing that smoke?
Like it's something that's impressive, right?
It's like, oh, wow, that's uncommon, that's impressive.
Well, as he wakes up,
as I believe that's what he's saying, right?
He wakes up to, you know, she's using this language,
here's these pillars of smoke,
and what that smoke represents here
is being perfumed with myrrh and frankincense.
Once again, he's wearing perfume.
Once again, he's masking his body odor.
We see this time and time again
in the book of Song of Solomon.
Like this is something that he's brought up, okay?
So he's got a pleasant smell, okay?
He spent time with his wife,
but he made sure that he smelled nice.
He made sure he put on the perfume.
He made sure he put on the deodorant, okay?
He made sure he fixed himself up
before he spent time with her.
Not only that, it says that he's got,
we've all powders of the merchant.
I don't know what powders this could be referring to,
but I've got this type of deodorant
that is not a spray, but it's like a powder.
It's like a cream powdery thing
that I put on my underarms.
It lasts for about seven days.
So I don't know what powders he's wearing
or what he's got.
I don't think it's like foundation or something like this.
I have no idea what he's wearing.
But of course, you know, again,
the point is that he seeks to impress her, okay?
You know, he wakes up, he seeks to impress her.
And then she just continues with verse number seven.
Behold his bed, which is Solomon's.
Prescore valiant men are about it,
of the valiance of Israel.
So now we're talking about Solomon's bed, all right?
She says, she's singing about his bed.
And now she says, there's three scores.
Score is 20.
So three times 20.
She says, there are 60 valiant men
standing around the bedroom.
Hey, these are Solomon's bodyguards.
Valiant men, that are about the valiance of Israel.
Like the best fighters that Israel has.
The bravest, strongest fighters with the most experience.
They're all around the bedroom, like bodyguards.
So she's praising him for this defense, for the security.
It says in verse number eight,
they all hold swords, being expert in war.
Every man have his sword upon his thigh
because of fear in the night.
She goes, this is why, because obviously at night
there might be assassination attempts
on the king, on the queen, on the family, all right?
So because of the fears of the night,
we've got these bodyguards all around our bedroom, okay?
And again, I don't think they're inside the bedroom.
They might be outside, you know,
just protecting them from any attacks, any intruders.
And Solomon makes sure that he's got the best,
expert in war, right?
They all hold swords.
They're ready to defend Solomon and his wife
in case of any attacks.
The thing that I get out of this brethren is,
I don't have 60 valiant men around my bedroom at night.
I don't know if you, does anyone have that?
I can't afford it.
I'm like the only valiant men that's in my bedroom.
But we can't afford that, right?
I mean, this is obviously a king special scenario.
But the practical lesson is that as men,
what are we to provide for our wives?
60 valiant men, security, safety and security, okay?
And then this is the responsibility of a man, all right?
If I can give you an example, just in my life,
like obviously I can't afford 60 men.
I can't afford 60 bodyguards to follow us
everywhere we go.
But you know, when we, you know,
the very first house that, you know,
Christina and I purchased, we lived in areas of Sydney
that weren't, they're not the worst,
but they're not the greatest either.
You know, they're known for a bit of
gang activity or drug dealing and all that kind of stuff.
And so to give my wife some security,
I just got some block out shutters.
Like, oh, you know what, let's save up.
Let's get some block out shutters.
We can close these shutters in the night.
Harder to break in, okay?
If you're not safe, you don't feel safe
while I'm at work, you can always close that.
You know, when we got into our second property,
we saved up for, we had this front door of the house
and we had this one door,
then we had these windows next to the door,
window panes, and they were meant to be frosted,
but it wasn't a really good job done.
Like you could still see clearly through into the house,
into the living room.
And again, when I'd go to work,
we had a few little kids, it wasn't a nice thing.
Anyone can just walk up to the door
and basically just look straight into the living room.
You know, I guess if you don't see a man in the house,
maybe it's more tempting to break in and steal from.
So saved up, you know,
and instead of one single door and two of those panes,
got double doors and double security doors,
and again, you know, shutters for the windows.
You know, again, I can't afford 60 valiant men, okay?
But I understand my responsibility
to give my wife safety and security.
And I'm not saying that's how you ought to do it,
I'm just saying, you know, we can find ways,
you know, to help our wives.
You know, if it's not the security
of the house necessarily,
how about you give her financial security?
Say, honey, you know what?
I'll be working, I'll be providing, okay?
I'll make sure there's always something
to eat on the table.
I'll make sure we've always got a roof over our heads.
I'll give you financial security.
What about security in the relationship, all right?
Honey, I'm straight after work, I'm coming home,
we're gonna be together, okay?
You're not gonna find me out hanging out
and you're worrying about what am I up to, you know?
If there are any relationships that I've had in the past
with maybe girls that you don't feel comfortable with,
you know what, I'll end those relationships.
I wanna be with you,
I wanna give you relationship security as well.
There are many ways that we can give security
to our wives, you know, financial, a place to live,
like I said, family security, relationship security.
So just think about, you know, men, you know,
again, we can't afford the 60 bodyguards,
but I'm sure if you think deep enough,
think, you know, what does my wife need?
What's gonna make her feel more firm and secure
in our relationship?
You can come up with ideas and apply them.
Verse number nine,
King Solomon made himself a chariot
of the wood of Lebanon.
So the wood of Lebanon, of course,
is known for its quality, prestige.
So King Solomon decides, okay,
we're gonna build a chariot, all right?
And then it says,
he made the pillars thereof of silver,
the bottom thereof of gold.
Whoa, these are expensive materials
to build your chariot.
The covering of it of purple.
And I love what it says here.
The midst thereof being paved with love
for the daughters of Jerusalem.
She says, look, this chariot's been paved with love.
You know what this reminds me of?
It's kind of like, I don't know if your mom's
ever said this when they cook the meal.
I remember I used to say to my mom,
mom, you know, this is delicious,
whatever delicious spaghetti, you know,
and she goes, oh, it was cooked with love.
You know, the special ingredient is love.
And go, oh, that's why it's so good, all right?
So as Solomon's putting this chariot together,
it's not his like, it's not like,
you know, boys and their toys.
It's kind of scenario.
Like, it's not like, oh, this is just his side hobby.
You know, he's building his dream car.
Like he's just bought,
that's the Lamborghini of the day, right?
The most expensive car, the best wood,
gold and silver, colored purple.
Man, like this is like,
but the whole point of it
was to express his love for his wife.
This wasn't about him just getting his favorite toy, okay?
For the daughters of Jerusalem,
meaning to show the daughters of Jerusalem,
to show others his love for his wife.
So he gets a nice car,
gets a nice chariot for them to ride around in.
Why is he doing this?
Verse 11, and before I go,
keep going, all I'm trying to say here is,
Solomon didn't go cheap, did he?
He didn't say, honey, let's just cut costs here.
Why is he going all out
to get the nicest looking car, you know, on the land?
You know, a paved with love,
because this is why, verse 11.
Go forth, oh ye daughters of Zion,
and behold King Solomon,
with the crown wherewith his mother crowned him,
look at this, in the day of his espousals,
in the day of the gladness of his heart.
Look, the day of his espousal, what's a spouse?
Your married partner.
What's a day of your espousal?
That's your marriage.
What's he celebrating?
He's celebrating his anniversary, right?
He's like, the anniversary has rolled around.
Let's ride around in the best car that I can build.
And we're gonna show,
and we're gonna drive this on the streets of Jerusalem,
and everyone, all the daughters of the land,
everyone's gonna see how much I love you.
We're going to get publicly, express our love,
and rejoice in our wedding anniversary.
Men, don't forget your wedding anniversary.
Please, forget your birthday.
Who cares, if you can only,
I know, I know, my brain forgets things too.
I'd rather forget my birthday,
but remember my wedding anniversary.
Okay, and plan for it.
You know what, save up for it.
Create a budget.
We say, you know what, our next anniversary,
I'm gonna put some money aside
so we can go out in the Lamborghini.
All right, let's go rent the nicest car.
I don't know, you don't have to do that.
But like, let's go out to a restaurant.
Let's spend time together.
Let's go find a nice motel.
Let's get away from the kids.
Let's get a babysitter, whatever it is, right?
Let's get some, let's just spend time together.
Let's rejoice.
I love what it says at the end of verse 11.
In the day of the gladness of his heart.
Can you say that's still married couples?
Those of you that have been married
for five, 10, 20 years now.
Can you say, man, when I got married,
it's still today.
The gladness of my heart's still today.
Hope you can say that.
That's how it should be.
That should be like the best day on the calendar.
What are you looking forward to in 2024?
My wedding anniversary.
That's probably not gonna be the answer
that a lot of people give, but it should be.
Should be.
Let's go all out.
Let's not be cheap.
If you've been cheap, don't worry about it.
Okay, next time.
That's what we have every year to fix these things.
Okay.
So you know what, man, this year, 2023,
I really messed up.
I bought my wife some like $20 flowers and that was it.
No, maybe next year, save up.
You think that's unbiblical?
It's in the Bible for a reason.
You think it's only in the Bible
because that's for kings, that's for queens.
It's there for us to go, hey, spend time together.
Go out, save up, spend a little bit of time, have fun.
Enjoy each other's company.
We know how busy life gets.
There are some days I barely even get to talk to my wife
because there's something happening.
Gotta go there, gotta do that.
All right.
Gotta prepare a sermon.
Gotta, whatever it is, gotta travel to Sydney.
Whatever it is, there's things that keep you busy.
But how about we say, hey, this day, we're doing nothing.
I'm taking a day off work.
In fact, I'm gonna take three days off work
and we're gonna go and spend time together.
How about you set that as your goal
for your next anniversary when it rolls around?
You know, there was a time when I was at work.
This was a job where we had three different shifts
and I always liked the early shift.
Like you'd start around seven o'clock.
That's the early shift.
You start around seven and you end around two o'clock,
for example.
I can't remember the time right now.
It was years ago, years ago.
And we had like a normal shift from about nine to five
and then we had a late shift,
which was like from 11 to eight p.m., something like that.
I can't remember very well.
Anyway, I was on my early shift.
I was like, yes.
You know, it doesn't come around very often.
I'm on the early shift, yay.
And then my work colleague walks in,
looking really depressed, angry, you know,
and I'm like, oh, are you okay?
Is everything okay?
And she said to me, oh, today's my wedding anniversary.
You know, and I had a fight with my husband
because he wanted to hang out today.
He wants to hang out tonight.
And she goes, well, don't worry.
We'll hang out the next night.
We'll hang out the next day.
Who cares?
All right, and she was trying to have a go at her husband
because he wanted to spend time with his wife
on their anniversary.
And I kind of rebuked her.
I said, are you crazy?
I'm like, if this was my wife, I'd also be upset.
I'd be saying, hey, why didn't you take the day off work?
Or why didn't you at least change shifts?
Why didn't you go to Kevin and say, Kevin,
I know that you got the early shifts,
but can I take your early shifts
so I can go home early and spend time with my husband?
I said, I'd be frustrated too if I was him.
And I already knew what the Bible says
about celebrating anniversary.
So I said to her, look, I'll take your late shifts.
I'm supposed to leave around two o'clock.
You leave at two.
You work two hours, you go home,
I'll work your late shifts.
I don't know what it was, like 13 hours
or something that I did that day, okay?
You go home, you celebrate, all right?
I don't care if I have to stay back and work.
I want you to have a good,
and it's not like, that's not my sister in the Lord.
It's just a worldly, unsaved person.
But I think marriage is important.
I think marriage is important
for those that are saved and unsaved.
It's an institution that God created
from the very beginning.
The next day she comes, happy, rejoicing,
had the greatest time with my husband.
I was like, yeah, remember next time,
take a day off work, okay?
Or change shifts if you have to.
And then she had to make up my hours
so I could go home early another day.
But anyway, you know, I can see how we can forget.
I can see how we can make
the wedding anniversary not important.
But look, even Solomon's rejoicing.
Solomon's all right, let's get the best wood.
Gold, silver, let's pave this thing with love.
Let's go out and ride in the streets of Jerusalem.
Let's let all the daughters see our love,
that we've got one for another.
Let's celebrate the day of our espousals.
Something else in verse 11 before I finish up.
It says there, and behold, verse 11,
and behold King Solomon with the crown
wherewith his mother crowned him
in the day of his espousals.
So as he's riding his chariot, he's wearing a crown.
And that specific crown that he got
is a crown his mom gave him on his wedding day.
Okay, so that crown represents,
hey, this is the day you got married, son.
Okay, now I know we don't have those crowns necessarily,
but the closest thing that I've got to that
is this, you know, my wedding ring.
That's kind of like the crown of my espousal.
That's what, you know,
signifies that I got married this day.
And I love this ring.
I love it.
I love what it represents.
Okay, and I, look, I actually hate wearing jewelry.
I actually hate wearing this in a sense
because I just don't like the feeling
of something on my fingers.
And when I'm at home,
I always take it off and put it on my computer table
and then little fingers find it and it disappears.
I lost this ring for over a year once.
And then this was when we were starting
the New Life Baptist Church.
And we're throwing out our old lounge
and we decided let's just go through
and look for the creases of the lounge.
We found money, we found toys,
and then we found my wedding ring,
which is good, right?
Cause I've lost so many times
that it's always come back to me.
But look, whether I wear this or not,
I'm still married.
I'm still married, nothing's changed.
But what does this mean when I'm wearing this?
If I'm out in public,
I know I take it off when I'm at home, okay?
But when I'm out in public, I put that on,
even though I don't like the feeling of it,
even though it makes my hand
feel a little bit uncomfortable.
Why do I put that on?
Why did King Solomon put on the crown of his spousal
to show the daughters of the land,
hey, I'm happily married.
I'm happily married, okay?
You know, not that I think I'm great or anything,
but I'm out of bounds.
I'm taken, it's finished.
I'm not looking for any relationship.
I'm not looking for anything.
I'm wearing this on purpose
as a signal to all publicly that I'm happily married
and I'm not open to finding some other woman, okay?
So, you know, I don't know,
maybe you've lost your wedding ring.
If you lost it, get a new one.
You can get some cheap ones out, who cares, right?
Just get one, just show everybody,
hey, I'm in love, it's paved with love.
I rejoice in the day of my spousal.
It's off limits.
My husband and wife were taken, all right?
And that's the right approach.
I have no eyes for anybody else.
My eyes are for my wife and my wife alone.
So, brethren, the title for the sermon tonight was
I Sought Him.
The wife sought her husband.
She wanted the physical intimacy.
Okay, make sure that's an important
and ongoing part of your married life.
You know, make sure that
you celebrate your wedding anniversaries.
Make sure you rejoice together, all right?
These things are so important.
All right, let's pray.