you
alrighty hymn number 169 come thou fount
come thou fount of every blessing tune my heart to sing thy grace
strings of mercy never ceasing call for songs of loudest praise
teach me some melodious sonnet sung by flaming tongues above
raise the mountain fixed upon it mountain climb redeeming love
here I raise my heaven in earth by thy hope I'm found
and I know thy good pleasure safely alaried at home
Jesus sought me when a stranger wondered from the fall of God
Jesus raised me from danger interposed his precious body
Lord his grace and great adventure daily I'm constrained to be
let thy goodness find her better find my wandering heart to be
prone to wonder Lord I feel good prone to leave now God I love
give my heart to take and seal it seal it all like a cross above
and in Jesus' name Amen
you may be seated
alrighty can I get you to turn now to hymn number 82
hymn number 82 When He Cometh
all His jewels, precious jewels His love they return
like the stars of the morning His bright crown adorning
they shall shine in their beauty like gems for His crown
He will gather, He will gather the gems for His kingdom
all the pure ones, all the bright ones His love they return
like the stars of the morning His bright crown adorning
they shall shine in their beauty like gems for His crown
little children, little children who love their kingdom
all the jewels, precious jewels His love they return
like the stars of the morning His bright crown adorning
they shall shine in their beauty like gems for His crown
alrighty good singing final hymn before the Bible reading
can I get you to turn to hymn number 191
hymn number 191 In My Heart There Rings a Melody
hymn number 191
there rings a melody, there rings a melody with epitome
in my heart there rings a melody, there rings a melody of love
I love the Christ who died on Calvary
for He washed my sins away
He put within my heart a melody
and I know it's there to stay
in my heart there rings a melody, there rings a melody with epitome
in my heart there rings a melody, there rings a melody of love
to be my endless seeming glory
with the angels I will sing
to be a song with glorious harmony
when the thoughts of heaven ring
in my heart there rings a melody, there rings a melody
with famous harmony
in my heart there rings a melody, there rings a melody of love
alrighty can I get you to grab your Bibles now and turn to Proverbs chapter 18
Proverbs chapter 18 and brother Jason's coming up for the Bible reading
when the wicked cometh then cometh also contempt and with
ignomininy reproach the words of a man's mouth are
as deep waters and the wellspring of wisdom as a flowing brook
it is not good to accept the person of the wicked to
overthrow the righteous in judgment our fool's lips enter
into contention and his mouth call for strokes
our fool's mouth is his destruction and his lips are the snare
of his soul the words of a tale bearer are as wounds
and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly
he also that is slothful in his work is brother to him
that is a great waster the name of the lord is a strong tower
the righteous runneth into it and is safe
the rich man's wealth is his strong city and has an high
wall in his own conceit before destruction the heart
the heart of man is haughty and before honour is
humility he that answereth a matter before he
heareth it it is folly and shame unto him
the spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity
but a wounded spirit who can bear the heart of the prudent
getteth knowledge in the ear of the wise seeketh
knowledge a man's gift maketh room for him
and bringeth him before great men he
let his first in his own cause seemeth just
but his neighbour cometh and searcheth him the lot
causes contentions to cease and parteth between the mighty
a brother offended is hard to be won
than a strong city and their contentions are like the
bars of a castle a man's belly shall be satisfied
with the fruit of his mouth and with the increase of his lips
shall he be filled death and life are in the power
of the tongue and they that love it shall eat fruit thereof
who say findeth a wife findeth a good thing
and obtaineth favour of the lord the poor
useth entreaties but the rich answerth roughly
a man that have friends must show himself friendly
and there is a friend that's sticketh closer
than a brother. Dear Lord just thank you for this incredible proverb
Lord there's so much wisdom just in this one chapter of your word alone
Lord I do pray Lord that you give Pastor Kevin an unction and wisdom of your Holy Ghost
Lord just to preach a sermon to us this afternoon in Jesus' name Amen
Amen, thank you brother
Alright so you know I normally preach three sermons
a week sometimes four sermons a week if I'm travelling down to Sydney and
what you see as the end product of a sermon is not always the
preparation, it's not always exactly what is even on my notes when I go
ahead to preach it. I've got a lot of like half completed sermons
like I've kind of started but I just don't know where I really
want that sermon to go and this is essentially what I'm going to be preaching
out today is a continuation of a sermon that I preached which I believe
was the first month of our church alright back when we were called the church and
back when we were meeting in the hall back there at the rugby union club
and I preached on friendship and I had a part two lined up
and I just couldn't really get to the end of it, I just couldn't really work out where I wanted to
get to part two so I looked at, I took my notes once again and
I combined a little bit of part one so it's not all from scratch there and I've made
this sermon but if you have a look at Proverbs 18 and verse number 24
Proverbs 18 and verse number 24 it says a man that have friends
must show himself friendly, the title for the sermon this afternoon is
show yourself friendly, show yourself friendly
you know it's a good thing to have friends, it's a good thing to
have a social life, have people that you can speak to on a regular basis
don't forget when man, when God created Adam and Eve he created us
to be social creatures, he created Eve to be a help
and it was not good for a man to be alone and it's so
important that we learn how to just connect with people and
we all do to some level, we all do, we all have families that we've grown up
and we all have some elements of friendship and a community that we're associated
with but you know one thing that we don't have a lot of
in the country of Australia, number one are Christians that
are saved, you know there's a lot of Christians that are not saved
very few Christians that are actually saved, number two we have very
few of those Christians that are saved that actually want to get into a
good Baptist church and hear the doctrines being preached without compromise
there's very few of us is what I'm saying
and it's my heart's desire that we would have strong friendships in our
church and don't waste the fellowship
don't waste the friendships, the people that are in this church, again there are so
few of us, you know if you decide I don't want to be a friend to this church
I don't want to be a friend to these brethren here, you're not going to have much
left, you're going to have to develop friendships in a lost world
you know friendships are affecting you in a negative light and
they are turning your hearts away from the Lord, you know I would love nothing more
than for New Life Baptist Church to be the friendliest church in Australia
that's what I would love, I mean I want a church that loves the Lord, I want a church
that is soul winning, yes I want a church that is preaching the whole council
of God absolutely but I also want a friendly church
I like it when people come and visit our church and the feedback that I get many times
is man you've got a lot of friendly people, I like that, I like that
I like hearing that, okay and you know what we are, you know
it's part of life to develop friendships and I think we need to value
friendships we need to value the people that we have at least in this community
as a church but a man that have friends must show himself
friendly and so what I want to talk about is how to develop friendships
you know what to look out for in friends but also what to be careful
about because I'm not saying that we should just be friends with everybody that we come across
there are some danger signs, there are some people that you're better off
staying away from but looking at this problem again, problem 18 verse 24
what we learn here is that if you want to have friends you must
take the first step, don't wait
for others to befriend you, you need to step out and say you know what
I want to be a friend to this person, this person seems alone
in church, no one's speaking to them, I'm going to step out and say hello
I'm going to step out and care for that person, I must show myself
friendly if I want to have friends, you know sometimes people talk about
not having friends, the question is though are you friendly
are you waiting for others to greet you, are you waiting for others to
care about you, you're taking the wrong approach, you have to step out, you have
to be the one that takes that first step and show yourself friendly
and then it says and there is a friend that's
closer than a brother, a friend that's closer than a brother
so you know the way I look at this verse, I'll tell you just my honest
view of this verse, when I look at this church, when I look at Blessed Old Baptist
Church down in Sydney as well, every church member
is my friend, that's how I look at it, you know every church member
is my brother or sister in the Lord and therefore you're my friend
you know now there are some people that I'm going to get along better than others, there are some
people that we're going to have more in common, you know we're just going to get along a little bit better than other
people and that's just how life is okay, but as far as I'm concerned you're all
my friends, like if there's someone in this church that has a need and I can
step in and help that, I truly believe I'll be there to help you guys
and I also truly believe and I've already seen this, when I have a need that others
in the church have stepped up and tried to be a help and a blessing unto me, hey that
shows friendliness, that we care, that we love one another
don't we? But then there is a friend that's thicker closer than our brother
and of course that you know often we would say hey that person
is my best friend, I've got friends in general but there's usually just a couple
of people or just that one person that I call my closest friend
you say who is that Pastor Kevin, honestly it's my wife
when it comes to just a human being on this earth, it's my wife, my wife
is my best friend okay, there's a reason why I wanted to marry
her, there's a reason why I wanted to spend my life with her because I see her as my best friend
you know and we don't really have necessarily a lot in common
besides the family, you know she has certain ways of looking at things, I have certain ways of
looking at things, she has interests, I have other interests but one thing that I found
as you know, one thing that schools do very
poorly, you know we train our children is that our children
grow up with this idea that I must be friendly to people
of my age group, in my grade, this is my grade
I'm in grade 9 for example and I've got to make friendships with the grade 9
students and then I also found in the same school, just because you're in
the same grade doesn't mean you're necessarily the same, you're friends but then friends
start to divide over certain interests and in my school at least, I don't know if it's
all schools like this, in my school the interest was on music
so if you were into the rock and roll music, you'd form friendships with those that liked rock and roll
and if you were into R&B, you'd form friendships with those that were into
R&B and if you liked, I don't think anyone liked country music
but you know what I'm talking about, there's certain genres of music and you're like, they're the one
you just get along because you have things in common, I've never really been into music
so who did I develop my friendships with? I loved basketball, I loved playing basketball
so my friendships were developed around those that liked to play basketball as well
you know then you had your geeks and the geeks made friends
not in a bad way but you know, the geeks made friends with those that loved computers
and IT and technology and software and games and you know
MP3 music and the digital realm, they developed friendships like this
but what I found is that it's a strange concept
that the only people that I need to be friends with or make friends with are those
that are exactly like me with the same interests but then when you get into
real life, things are very different, in fact I prefer
making friendships with people that are completely different to me
now look, I prefer making friends with someone that is saved
but listen, someone that is saved can be completely different, I think of brother Jason
he's really into marathons, really into running, I could care less about that
but you know what, because our interests are so different for example, I actually quite
enjoy listening about the marathon world, you know what it takes to prepare
because I'm learning something new, like if I'm always around
people that think the same way as me, you know, have the same interests as me
we're going to run out of things to talk about pretty quickly, aren't we?
Because we're all on the same page about everything, one thing that I found
that I did not learn through school, it kind of messed me up a little bit
is that my better friends are those that are completely different to me
and if I say that my wife is my best friend, guess what
she's completely different to me, not only because she's a female
but she has completely different interests, you know, we've purchased a house in Malaney
my wife loves the garden, she loves the flowers that are there, you know
if it was up to me, I'd rip it all apart, I'd be like just more grass
more, you know, to run around in, but my wife likes the flowers
and then she'll show me, oh look at this flower, this one smells, and I pick it up and say hey that smells really
that flower smells like perfume, you know what, if I was only with people
that were interested, same interests as me, I would have no idea that that flower
smelled so pleasant, so I've learnt something, been with someone
that has complete different interests, and I want to say that
because we're in a church with people of different backgrounds
different upbringings, we've all been saved at different places in life
and it makes me sad when I hear people say, you know, I can't really be part
of this church because there's no one in the same age group as me
or there's no one really at church that has the same interests as me
so I can't make friends, you know, that's the world's way of making friends
what I strongly, you know, encourage
recommend, because I had to learn this in a painful way, is that
friendships should not be determined on just interests
in fact, as I said to you, there's very few of us
very few saved people, very few saved people
that want to be in a King James preaching church
caring for God's word, I know we're all different
I know we look at other people's lives and go, I wouldn't do that, that doesn't mean you can't be a friend
okay, I really
I thoroughly enjoy hearing other people's opinions, other people's interests
because otherwise I would personally never have gone and looked into that
issue or that topic, I think that's what friendship is
you know, building one another up, you know, spending some time of
life together, you know, we spend a few hours every week together, you know, we should
be forming some good friends at church
but again, you must take initiative, you must be the one that steps out and shows
some interest, you know, I've shared before
that I'm quite an introverted person, I prefer being quiet, I prefer not to open my mouth
and that's just how I am, but one thing that I found as well in life
that if I just allow myself to be that way, I'm not going to form any friendships
you know, because part of me just prefers not having
the friends, part of me prefers just leave me alone, okay, in fact we were talking
about that recently, just the fact that, you know, for some people going on holidays
is just leave me alone in my house, like that's kind of like the holiday that I want to have
just to be left alone, sometimes we have that feeling, but you know
we can't live a life like that forever, we need to have community, we need to have friendships
we need to have conversations and influence one another
and if you don't know how to take that initiative, that first step
if you don't know how to do that, what I learnt, and I think I learnt this
where did I learn this, I think I might have learnt this in church actually, is that just
pretend to show interest, you may not be interested
in that person, you don't know how to develop a friendship, I know I should step out and
introduce and try to develop some friendship, I just, we don't have things in common
one thing that I learnt is just pretend to have interest
and when you pretend to have interest, then actually you do
start to become interested, you know, it does become, it's the same analogy of
you know, we've taken the michel cats, right, they're in our house
I don't care for the cats, you know really, before the cats come, my kids don't care
about the cats, okay, but listen, the cats need to be fed, don't they
they need to be looked after, and you know, as you start to show, you pretend to
show some interest, guess what, you start to love those little animals, you start to care
for those little creatures, you know really, friendship is not all that different
you know, if there's someone that you don't know, you've never met, is new to church
hey, just go out of your way, hey, my name is Kevin
you know, what's your name, you know, what do you do for work, just show some level of interest
you know, what are your hobbies, what are your interests, do you have family, are you married
do you have kids, you know, you start asking these questions and then, hey, as you
learn about that person, next time you see them, you can also ask them, hey, like
let's say that they do, this person works as an engineer in some place, so
how's your work going, you know, last week you told me you were up to this project
how's that gone, and then you start to develop an interest in that person, guess what
that person feels like, hey, this person cares for me, you start asking questions about that person's life
how are you doing, how's your work, how's this situation, you know what
it comes upon them, hey, this person actually cares for me, this person wants to be a friend
and that's how friendships form, but my point number one there Breveren is
that you need to take that first step, okay, be a blessing
step out, you know, I mean, when you look at God and the fact that he
came and he sent his son to die for us, I mean, God had to step
out and love sinners, you know, to the point of
sending his son to die for us, we want to develop friendships, we need to step
out of our comfort zone and show ourselves to care and love that
person, be a blessing, yes, maybe you have to pretend at the
beginning, alright, that you're interested in them, but I guarantee you, once you
do that, you will become interested in them, you will care for them
you know, it's the same thing with soul winning, before I went soul winning
I knew how important soul winning was, but I don't care
about some person, you know, some stranger behind that door
you know, I had to force myself to get out there, you know, take that first step, knock
that person's door and start giving them the gospel and as I started
to hear people speaking, not knowing how to be saved, or
being confident that I'm going to die and go to hell, or people that just seem so
lost and confused, guess what happened? I started to love the lost
you know, sometimes people say, I just don't love the lost, I don't know if I can really
go out soul winning, I just don't seem to care, once you're soul winning, you start to care for them
you start to have a love for the lost and a desire to see as many
people saved and come into the kingdom of God, but it takes action
it takes action to have those right emotions, those right feelings
that right care for the person that may become your friend
but again, there is a friend that's sick of closer than a brother, and again
that is my wife for me, okay, now again, from a spiritual perspective
that's my Lord, that's Jesus Christ, you know, God wants to have a
friendship with his people, you know, and God wants us to be in fellowship
with his saints, you know, I'd be lying
if I said, you know, I'm just a best friend to God, you know, I think we can
all be better friends to God, God does want us to be his friend, you know
but if you can please turn to the Song of Solomon, turn to the Song of Solomon
chapter 5, Song of Solomon chapter 5 and verse number 16
Song of Solomon is a book that's written, it's a love song between a husband
and a wife, and ladies are going to notice what
the wife says about Solomon in this song, and I'm not
you know, ladies are, I don't know, I don't know how you feel about your husbands
but again, you know my story, I've worked with a lot of ladies
and you know what, ladies love to talk about them most, their husbands
how bad their husbands are, you know, how they don't love them the way
they ought to, how they don't care, you know, their husbands are losers and this and that
oh man, I heard it so many times, I got sick of it, did you marry
this person because you love them? What in the world, what's happening?
What's happening to marriages? It's meant to be the closest union you have
with another individual, Song of Solomon chapter 5
verse 16, this is what the wife says about her husband
to other ladies, okay, well let's just say
his mouth is most sweet
she says to the other ladies, you know what, he gives me the best kisses
he shows me so much affection, it's so sweet, he is altogether
lovely, does it sound like she's bagging out her husband to her girlfriends
at the workplace, absolutely not, this is the right
approach, you say but you don't understand, Pastor Kevin
as a lady, you know we're there for the husbands, we're there raising children
we just have to have these friends that we go to and we can vent
all our problems and concerns, that's what society has taught you
that's not the right approach, ladies if you have concerns and problems
things wait on you, you go to your husband
you go to him, you go to the guy who's the head of the wife
the head of the family, you say but Pastor my husband doesn't listen
to me, he doesn't care about my concerns, then you go to his boss, you go to Jesus
you go Jesus change his heart, Jesus he's your servant
you've put him over this family, can you help him to have a greater
love for me and the children, can you help him be a better husband
and a better father, you vent to God
you take your concerns to God, not to your girlfriends
down the road, she keeps going there
in Song of Solomon 5.16, this is my beloved
look at this, and this is my friend
oh daughters of Jerusalem, she's speaking to the other daughters, she speaks to the other ladies in Jerusalem
she goes you know what ladies, my husband is my best friend
he's my friend, I love him, he shows me affection, he is my friend
so you know what, she's not running off to her friends to complain about her husband
she's going to the daughters of Jerusalem to tell them, hey my husband's my friend
you know
your spouse ought to be your best friend, once again your spouse ought to be
your best friend, if she's not or if he's not
you need to fix that, you need to fix that, okay
you want to talk about your spouse to other people, you want to highlight the good things
that they do, but you don't understand pastor
my husband did this, my wife did that, of course I understand
because I'm married as well, okay, I mean if I wanted to complain
I can complain as well, and if my wife wanted to complain about me, she could complain
about me as well, you know why, because none of us are perfect
none of us are perfect, we're all selfish to some extent
but you know what, when you get around other people, you make sure
your spouse is clearly your best friend, you know
you highlight the positive attributes that they have, and they have some positive attributes
otherwise you wouldn't have married them, it's just that sometimes in marriage you get
fixated on the little problems, on the issues rather than being thankful for the
bigger picture, for the spouse, there's a lot of single people that would just love
to be married just to be with someone, and then when we're married sometimes we like to
complain about that, but no, you know what, we need to consider our spouse our best friend
now point number one was take the first step in friendship, point number two
is make your spouse your best friend, can you please turn to Colossians chapter 3
turn to Colossians chapter 3 verse number 12
Colossians chapter 3 verse number 12
now one reason generally
sometimes people don't want to make friends, is because
friends will sometimes do you wrong, right
now if my enemy does me wrong, it doesn't really hurt me so much
because they're my enemy, I know they don't like me, but when a friend
does you wrong it hurts a lot, and sometimes you get the idea well
maybe I just want for many friendships, then I won't be hurt
okay, no, friends will do you wrong sometimes, okay
intentionally, sometimes not even intentionally, okay you can be offended
by a friend, but I want you to look at Colossians chapter 3 verse 12, and don't forget
this is written to the Colossian church, this is about church, alright
church unity, it says in Colossians 3 verse 12
put on therefore as the elect of God, holy and beloved
and I'll stop for a minute, it says in verse number 12, put on therefore
you need to put this on, in other words God is saying that we're not
naturally like this, we need to put an attitude on
characteristics on, okay, we've got to change the way we are
put on therefore as the elect of God, holy and beloved, look at this
bows of mercies, God is saying you need to be more
merciful because naturally you're not merciful, when someone does you
wrong, you want to write them off completely immediately, that's what the natural man wants
to do, so you've got to put on the bows of mercies, kindness
humbleness of mind, meekness, long
suffering, look at this, look at
verse 13, forbearing one another
you know what that means, that means in church sometimes people are going to rub you the wrong
way, you know they're going to be people that you just, I don't seem to get along with this person
but when that happens, you know what, you put on forbearance
to forbear means you're putting an effort in, you've got to strive toward it
you know what, this person, I don't know man, you know if this was just my work colleague
I don't think I'll get along with them, okay but they're a church member
they're a brother or sister in Christ, how about you forbear with them, put up
with them a little bit more, be a little bit more merciful than you would just a random
stranger, it says forbearing one another, look at this, and
forgiving one another, forgiving one another, why is that
in the bible, Paul is writing to Colossians church
he says church you've got to forgive each other, you know why he's saying that, because sometimes
in church people offend each other, sometimes you don't get along, something happens
and then you start, you break that friendship, or you don't develop that friendship any further
and you say well let's just, I'm going to grow cold toward this person, I'm not going to speak to
them, I'm not going to care about them, because that's just easier, it is easier, of course it's easier
that's the easy way out, just completely ignoring people
this is why we're instructed, put on therefore, put on
forgiveness, because it's not part of your natural makeup
you've got to put it on, you've got to put it on, hey when it comes to friendship
you've got to put it on, again I'm introverted, I'm
quiet, I'd rather not the friends, but listen if I'm going to have a
church of people that are united, if
I'm going to have a church where you guys at least appreciate your pastor, I've got to try to
be more friendly, I've got to put it on, I've got to put on the mercy
I've got to put on the forbearance, and brethren sometimes you've got to forbear with me too, you've got to
put that on as well, alright we're here to be friends, to support, to love
one another, it continues there, and forgiving one another
if any man have a quarrel against any, look at this
even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye
do you notice that, there is no reason
why some conflict in church should continue forever
every conflict should be resolved, because it
says there if any man have a quarrel against any, even as Christ
forgave you, so also do ye, the only
if you've got a quarrel against someone, you've got some conflict
the only justification of not fixing that
actually there is no justification, there is no justification
because it says as Christ forgave you, Christ forgave you
all, all of it, we need to learn to forgive each other
if you want to have friendships, that means when a friend
does you wrong, when a friend offends you by word or by deed
it's going to be a lot more hurtful, there's going to be a greater desire to just, well that was my friend
how dare they do that, now you've got to put up with them, forbear, forgive
be merciful, okay because Christ has forgiven you
you've got to have the same standard, Christ has forgiven you, you need to
learn to forgive your brethren, you know I don't know, I don't want to
I don't want to find out about everyone's relationships and everyone's friendships at church
but you know what, if there's some friendships that's damaged, you have to fix it
fix it, put it on, I know it's not easy, I know it's not comfortable to do
but you just have to find a way to fix it, okay, it doesn't mean
they have to be your best friend, but there ought to be some friendliness
some unity in our church, and I'm not saying there isn't
I'm not saying there isn't, but you know, this is the lesson, I don't know, I don't know every relationship in this church
I mean, I would be surprised, I'd be surprised
if everybody in our church was just best friends with everybody, I don't think that's the case
no church is like that, there's always some quarrel, every church that I've been in has been
some problem, now the saddest thing is when there's a problem and it causes people
to leave the church because of the quarrel rather than it being sorted out
instead of there being forgiveness, the saddest thing is when people just leave the church because they
it's just an easier way out than trying to fix the problem
so the third point brethren is, if you want to show yourself friendly
you must be forgiven, you must be forgiven, you know the Bible says
I'll just quickly read to you from Matthew 18 verse 15, these are the words of Christ
moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee
go and tell him his faults between thee
and him alone, if he shall hear thee
thou has gained thy brother
brethren, if someone wrongs you, you take it to that person alone
take it to them, it's not, well I want to go talk to the
pastor, don't take it to me, unless it's me that you have the problem with
but besides, you take it to them, you don't talk to other people
about the situation, or you don't take the view, well I just refuse to talk
to that person because they've done me wrong, you can't talk to them
you've got to sort this out, the purpose behind it is to gain
your brother, the purpose behind it is to retain the friendship
that's the purpose that you go one on one, you know what if you have
a problem with somebody and you go and you talk about it with everybody else
or you try to bring it to this pastor, you know what you're communicating, you're communicating
that I do not want to reconcile with this individual, I'm going to try
to make this situation as complicated, as problematic as I can
so I don't have to go and fix it with that person
we should learn to be forgiven, okay, third point of friendship is
to be forgiven, please turn to Ephesians chapter 4
turn to Ephesians chapter 4 and verse number 2
Ephesians chapter 4 and verse number 2
and it's along the same path here, but yeah be forgiven
and point number 4 that I have for you brethren is to maintain peace, which is kind of similar I guess
but we want to try to maintain peace, okay, listen
we are at war, we're soldiers of the Lord
we are constantly at war with a world that hates the Lord
we're constantly at war against the forces of the devil
and we're constantly at war against his flesh
I'm sick of fighting, I've got to fight every day of my life
you know every time I'm tempted to commit a sin, I'm warring against his flesh
the last thing I want is to be fighting and warring
with my brethren, the last thing I want
or with some other church, unless they're unsaved heretics
different story, I'm just talking about another church of saved brethren
I want to be at peace, I want to be at peace with you
there's enough battles, it's tiring, okay, if you really want to fight
the battle for the Lord, you want to be a good soldier for Jesus Christ, it's tiring
and the last thing I want to do is fight you, or see fights within this church
and cause conflicts, they're in Ephesians chapter 4 verse 2
we've all lowliness and meekness
we've longed suffering, and there's that word again
forbearing one another in love
listen, this is what a real friend should be like though, you know what, if you have a real friend
and they do something wrong, something you don't like, you need to
just do your best to lower yourself
try to find unity with that person
these are not easy things to do, lower yourself
as soon as you're offended, what happens, the pride kicks in
the anger kicks in, you get heated
and you just need to put them down, you lower yourself
with long suffering, that's hard
I'll admit to you brethren that this is hard
I have friends, I'm glad I have friends
but if I didn't try to lower myself and be long suffering, they would not
be friends today, or probably even vice versa
I'm sure, in fact I've offended people
I'm just thankful that people that I've offended, some people, wanted to get things right
with me, and they've been humble, they've lowered themselves, they've spoken to me nicely
and said pastor, you know that time you said this or that
that upset me, I'm sorry brother, but you know what
when that happens, it brings the unity, it brings peace
right, with all loneliness and meekness, with long suffering, forbearing one another in love
look at this, endeavouring to keep the unity of the
spirit in the bond of peace, endeavouring
when you think of that word endeavour, what do you kind of think about
when I think of the word endeavour, I'm kind of thinking, going on this long journey
like just putting the best I can, like making sure I get something done
and I do the very best I possibly can, I put the most
effort into something, endeavouring to keep the unity of the
spirit and the bond of peace, that's what we should be doing for our church
putting everything possibly that we can, all our effort
forward to make sure that we form friendships
that we maintain peace, that we don't just quarrel and complain
and get on each other's nerves all the time, but it requires meekness
requires loneliness, humility, long suffering
forbearing one another in love, because there ought to be love
there ought to be love amongst the brethren, you know there's something wrong if you don't
love your brothers in the Lord, you know again I don't always
necessarily, I'm not necessarily going to be your best friend
you know, we may not always, we may not have the closest interest
and just be that close, but one thing I can definitely say
is I love you, I can definitely say that I want you
to do the best you can for the Lord Jesus Christ in this life
the last thing I want to be is a stumbling block in your faith, I want to be an encouragement
a motivation, I want to be a positive influence in your life
but that doesn't mean we're always going to be the closest people, we may
be completely different people, but I still want to be in unity, I still want to have peace
with you, I want to be an encouragement to you, and many of you have been an
encouragement to me, you know we're almost five years as a church, five years as a pastor
and if you guys did not show yourselves friendly to me I think I would have
quit a long time ago, in fact we do have a loving church
I'm not preaching this because there's major problems in our church, but every church
has problems, this is how it is right, this is why we have God's word
this is why churches are instructed to put the effort in, to create friendships
not to have division, you know, and when problems occur
and they will occur, they will happen to you and you'll do it to them
we need to go and fix it, okay, take it to that person one on one
so we're there to maintain peace, and don't forget
we all have weaknesses and we all have faults, we all do
we all do, can you please turn to a very familiar passage
Proverbs 27 17 please
Proverbs 27 17, I was kind of already leading into this, okay
but a friend is someone that is that positive influence
okay, Proverbs 27 17
Proverbs 27 17 says, iron sharpenerth iron
now when we often read that passage, there's a lot of principles that we can take
out of that, sometimes we might say hey, you know, in conversation
we might sharpen each other like iron, you know when it comes to
doctrine for example, we might help each other to understand a doctrine
better as we converse and ask questions and give our thoughts toward
that, yeah that is iron sharpening iron, but I want you to look at the
context, the direct context of this passage, iron sharpenerth iron
so a man sharpeneth the countenance
of his friend, the countenance
the countenance refers to your face, you know, your outlook
to life, a good friend ought to be
a positive influence, a good friend ought to be a blessing to you
right, when you're cast down and you're going through difficulties
a good friend will be someone that comes along and says brother
sister, I'll be praying for you, sister is there anything
that I can do to help, you know, or someone's
cast down and the problems, hey brother yes, you know you go through problems
yes you are, it's legitimate, but don't forget, don't forget all the positives
that you have in life, don't forget all these other good things that you've got going for you
don't be so cast down, you've got other things to be excited about
you know, that's what a friend does, it lifts up another person
the Bible says in Ecclesiastes 4.9, two are better than one
because they have a good reward for their labour, for if they fall
the one will lift up his fellow, but woe to him that is
alone when he falleth, for he hath not another to help him up
the point of a friend is to help you when you fall
and when your friend falls, your job as a friend
is to lift them up, we must be a positive
influence, we must sharpen the countenance of our
friends, brethren be a positive influence, please
to your friends, now look, I understand in friendship
you're also going to share negative times
alright, and I'm going to go through this in a moment, but
you don't want a friend that just brings you
down all the time, you don't want a friend that just keeps you
miserable all the time, sometimes we form
friendships and we try to remain loyal, but if that person
is not sharpening your countenance, you need to start questioning
is this a good friend, is this someone that I should have, now again I'm not saying
the times are down, they're downcast and you know they're in a negative mood
and it's causing you to be a little bit negative, but then you need to be there to lift them up, you know that happens from time
to time, right, friendship is give and take, you know sometimes you
can help them, sometimes they can help you, there are going to be times of negativity and
etc that happens, but when you've got someone that's just negative, negative
negative, complain, complain, whine, whine
woe is me, you know just constantly it's going to sap
your energy, it's going to sap your time and you need to be starting to ask
that question, is this the right person, is this someone that I should be a friend
with, can you please turn to Mark chapter 5
turn to Mark chapter 5
Mark chapter 5, so
I'm not sure how many points that I've got, but the last one there was be a positive influence to your friends
the next one that I have here is a great story
in Mark chapter 5 verse 18, it's when Jesus Christ healed a demon
possessed man, but it says in Mark 5 18
but when he was coming to the ship, oh yeah
let me give you the story, so very quickly Christ heals a demon possessed man
okay, but then the people of the town, they refuse to have Christ in their town
they wanted him to go away, they didn't want Christ to be a trouble maker, so Christ
listens, yeah he ends up going back to the ship and sailing to the other side
but it says here when he was coming to the ship, he that
had been possessed with the devil prayed him that he might
be with him, so the man that was healed by the demon possession
he wanted to go with Jesus, Jesus take me along with you
verse number 19, howbeit Jesus suffered him not, or did not allow him
but saith unto him, look at this, I want you to pay attention, go home
to thy friends, and tell
them how great things the Lord have done for thee, and have
had compassion on thee, and he departed and began to publish
in Decapolis how great things Jesus had done for him
and all men did marvel, so what's the next point that I have
for you Reverend, about your friends, share with your friends
the great things that Jesus has done for you
share with your friends the great things that he's done for you, you know
if you're someone that is recently saved, you've heard the message of salvation
and there's a fire in your belly, you've learnt the truth
you know what you should desire, to find your friends and say friends
look what I've learnt about Jesus, let me tell you about how he saved me
that's what you should do to your friends, tell them about Jesus
you know one of the wrong things, wrong attitude to have is
you know especially for those of you that have been saved later in life
you've probably had a group of friends, right, they were just ungodly
for example, right, and you've gotten saved, and I'm not saying that you've
necessarily done this, I don't know, but you know I've heard stories where someone's like well I'm saved
you know I want to live godly so I'm not, you know I don't want anything to do with my friends anymore
because they're leading me down a bad path, there is
some wisdom in that, but before you have nothing to do with your
friends, you should be going out there and telling them about what Jesus Christ has done for you
and guess what, those that do not want to hear
they're going to depart from you, they're going to depart from your
friendship because they're going to find you a little bit weird, a little bit too religious for them
hey but you know what, these are friends that you developed, these are friends that you cared about
you know I love hearing brother Callum's story when he got
out of the international church of Christ and when he heard the gospel he tried to
track down his old contacts and to give them the gospel
but as he discovered brother when he started giving them the gospel those that refused Christ
they're going to refuse you, and those friendships end sometimes right
hey but at least there's a love for your friends, but you know what yes
unsaved friends that's great but hey let's say you have saved friends, let's say you have saved friends
at this church, hey we should still communicate to them the great things
that Christ has done for us, because it's not just salvation that Christ has given us
but he blesses us every day, he's come through, he's answered prayers
right, God has done great things for us
and we should be willing to testify those things unto our friends
if you want to have friendships, in church especially
we should speak of Christ, I don't mind speaking about the football once
in a while, I don't mind speaking about Quinn and Elizabeth
or whatever the passing or some government issue or covid
but I love speaking to you guys about the Bible, I want to speak to you about Jesus
that's what we have actually the most in common with right, our salvation
our deliverance from a sinful world, we should be willing as friends
to share the great things that Christ has done for us, and that is a sure way
to be a blessing, that is a sure way that iron sharp enough iron
when your friend sees how God has come through and done great things for you
it's going to encourage them to know that also God can do great things for me too
God can answer my prayers too, when I see him answering the prayers of my friends
can you please turn to the book of Proverbs
Proverbs chapter 16
Proverbs 16 verse 27
there are some friends that you need to be careful of
in Proverbs 16 verse 27, look at this
the ungodly man diggeth up evil
and in his lips there is a burning fire
a froward man soweth strife, look at this
and a whisperer separateth chief friends
listen, there are some friends that you probably
have in your life that is exactly what we read in verse 27
the ungodly man diggeth up evil, be careful
with some friends that you have, look I understand there are times that you're going to share some burdens
but be careful about what you communicate
there are some people that just want to dig up dirt
they want to find all the evil things about you, in fact
many times you'll just know them as the gossiper, they dig up
evil about someone, they just can't help themselves but to go
find someone they can share that evil with, the gossiper
what are they seeking to do, they're seeking to separate
chief friends, one mistake that I've made in my life
I think we all have made this mistake, is that we consider someone to be a friend
they come with private information about someone else
they share that and you think, oh man this person really cares for my view
my viewpoint, hey they're sharing this sensitive information, they must be
a friend to me, but then you start to find out all they do is speak bad
about this person, this family at church, these children
these women, these men, that pastor is just negative
dirt, they try to find as much dirt and they just go around gossiping
hey at some point you need to mature in your mind and realise
this is not a friend at all, this is not a friend at all
because I guarantee you when this is happening, they're digging up dirt on your life
and then they go and spread that dirt to other people, they're finding evil in your life
and they're gossiping about you, guaranteed
100% if someone is comfortable to gossip to you about someone else
they're also gossiping about you to another, that's not a friend
you've got to pull away from that person, their desire
is to separate chief friends, that is
not a friend, that is not a person that's sharp enough iron
so I'm not saying just be friendly with everybody, be careful
sometimes it's hard to determine, is this a friend
or is this someone that's trying to destroy my life and trying to destroy the lives of others
we can all dig up dirt, right, an ungodly man diggeth up evil
if I spend a week at your house, I'm going to dig up
evil in your life, you come spend a week at the pastor's house
you're going to dig up some evil in my life, it's not hard to do
it's actually quite easy because we're all sinful creatures, like I said
we all have faults, it doesn't take long to find problems
but look, a friend
knows you're not perfect, a friend knows you struggle
a friend knows you struggle with sin and weakness, but that friend is
there to come along and to encourage, to motivate, especially
to motivate you to live a life that is godly, that pleases the Lord
be careful of these friends that gossip to you
or they want to come, tell me, you know, you're
cast down, you've got problems, oh come over for a cup of tea
come and share your problems with me, no you've got every right to be downcast
oh that person did wrong to you, yeah mate you've got every right
to be upset with that person, that is not a friend, I'm telling you now
you know what the friend will do? I can understand why that person's upset you
I don't need to know about it, the Bible says go and take it to them alone
go and talk to them, go form a peace, go
fix that conflict that you have with that person, that's what a friend
will do, it's not that you don't care about your concerns, you can tell
someone right, hey brother, you know, go to your friend brother, listen
I've got a problem with someone at church, I won't tell you who it is or what it's about, but can you just pray for me
because I want to go and sort this out with them and I don't know what, you know, I don't
feel very comfortable doing it, can you please pray that I have the courage and the boldness
I have the humility, I can be long suffering, I can be forgiving
when I go and talk to that person about the problem, okay absolutely I'll do that
you know, that's what a friend does, a friend doesn't say
you've got every right to be offended, no no no
a friend will encourage you to do what is right, to do what is godly
to do what the Bible says, not to be a gossiper
can you please go to
1 Corinthians 15, go to 1 Corinthians 15 please, verse number 33
1 Corinthians 15 verse 33
you know, one of my weaknesses is
I am a little bit naive, and I'll be honest with you, that's just
I am naive, but I think a lot of us can be naive about certain things
okay, like, I look at this church and I
just want to think the best of you, you know, I just want to think that you all
just love the Lord and you just want to do the best you can in life, but as we saw in the morning
sermon, you know, the heart is desperately wicked, who can know it, right, so we know that
reality as well, but I always think people have the best
intentions, just automatically, even if someone does wrong
okay, someone does wickedly, I still try to figure out, I try to in my mind think
this person must have had some good intention, surely they just messed up on their
how they processed or how they acted upon that situation
you know, but I want you to notice here in 1 Corinthians 15 verse 33
1 Corinthians 15 verse 33, it says
be not deceived, in other words, stop being
naive, be not deceived, evil
communications corrupt good manners, when it says
evil communications, let's talk about our relationships, if you've got
bad friends, it's going to corrupt your manners
okay, listen, you know, probably some of you I'm sure love this
church, okay, but if you get around people that just complain about our
church, you know what's going to happen, you're going to start complaining about the church
you're going to start finding problems with the church, if you have people
that just constantly complain about the past, I don't even know if this goes on, I'm just throwing it out there
I've seen it happen in other churches, I'm not speaking out of ignorance here, okay, I've seen these things
happen, you know, when people start pointing out problems, look at this, pastor said that
he didn't say hello to me, this and that, you know, at first I didn't notice
any of this, but now I do, now I realise all these problems
and you know what, you think that person's a friend, you think that person's trying to
encourage you, but they're not, be not deceived
evil communications corrupt good manners, bad friends will make you
have bad manners, okay, they will cause you to be downcast
depressed and negative, they're going to affect you
be careful with the friends that you form, look at verse number 34
awake to righteousness and sin not
for some have not the knowledge of God, I speak this to your shame
look, that's why it says be not deceived, I speak to your shame
you've developed friendships, you've developed closeness, again
the Corinthian church, we know the Corinthian church was really messed up, they were putting
up with bad friendships, they were putting up with bad people
they were just corrupt the church, you know, and sometimes
we know that, you know, in first Corinthians chapter 5, if someone is excessively
wicked, they should be kicked out of the church, because they're a little leavened
leavened off the whole lump, but that is the same in your relationships, in your
friendships, you've got someone that is just
negative Nancy, is that the term they use, the negative Nancy, just always whining
always complaining, everything's horrible, then you're going to start having that
same perspective, that everything's horrible, everything's negative
and you'll be downcast, but you'll be like, but I've got my friend, we're together, yeah but they've
destroyed, you know, your perspective, they've taken you down a
dark path, rather than being that person that has sharpened your
countenance, you know, the person that
I'm thinking about as well, you know, I've had friendships like this
and I believe I've used this analogy in other sermons, but I have a term
that I call the black hole friend, the black, I've had black hole
friends in my life, you know, and you know, generally again
because I'm naive, but you're not deceived, right, but you know, again I try, I think
people have good intentions, you know, someone reaches out to me, I think hey, we want to be
a friend, we want to get along, we want to share life together to some extent
right, but then have you ever had a friend, like I said, that just
saps all of your positivity, that
it's all one way, it's all their problems and they don't
care about you, you know, and you know, out of loyalty, out of care
you think I need to be a good friend, right, you stick around there
but they just, they use you, right, everything
all your energy, all your positivity gets sapped into this black hole
and you think you're helping them, you say surely, look if I
don't stand by this person, you know, who's going to stand with it, surely it's got to be
me, but they sapped everything, literally that black hole
Brethren, that is not a friend, that is not a friend, okay
you're in 1 Corinthians 10
please go to 1 Corinthians 10.24
1 Corinthians 10.24, the Bible says
this, let no man seek his own
but every man another's wealth
you know what a good friend does, a good friend cares for the other person
that's what friendship is, remember, you step out, you're the one that shows yourself to
be friendly, you show to care for that other person, alright
don't look at only for your own needs, but look for the needs of others
but the black hole friend, all they care about are their own needs
all the time, all the time, and then you get sucked
into that relationship, I've had them, I've spoken to church members that have had them
as well, and I've had to encourage my church members, listen, that is not a good friend
you need to break that off, because they're just leading you down this black hole
and there's going to be nothing left of you, by the time they're done with you
okay, but a good friend does what, does not seek their own
but every man another's wealth, they want to see you flourish, they want to see
you happy, they want to see you do well in life, that's what a friend truly is
okay, the Bible also says, I'll just read to you, you know this one, Philippians 2
2.4, look not every man on his own things
but every man also on the things of others
and that's what a friend does, looks at the things of others, how can I be a help to this person
is there something that I can do, how can I show friendliness
how can I be a blessing to this person, and I've shared with you
in my previous sermon that we all have problems
we all have weaknesses, you know what
being a friend isn't that hard really, isn't that hard, yeah you've got to step
out of your comfort zone, but you know what, if you just identify where someone
has a need, where someone requires help
just step out and say you know what, I'll be the one, I'm going to show myself friendly
I want to be a blessing to this person, that's what a friend does
okay, how can I bless other people
please go to another passage with me please, James chapter 2, go to James chapter 2
this is our conclusion, James chapter 2
I've spoken about our earthly friends, I've spoken about the kind of friend
that you ought to be, I've spoken about that when you have conflicts with
friends, especially church members, hey you need to sort that out, you put on the
mercies, you put on the long suffering, you've got to try really hard, okay
and I've spoken about certain friends that you need to avoid, well they really shouldn't be a friend
okay, you need to cut them out of your life or they'll destroy you
but now let me talk to you about our friendship with God
okay, our friendship with God, and you know, again
I just put my hand up and I know that I can be a better friend to God
I know I can be, you know, and it says here in James chapter 2
verse 23, James chapter 2 verse 23, it says
and the scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God
and it was imputed unto him for righteousness, let's stop there for a moment
if you're saved, that's you, you've believed God and it was imputed unto you
for righteousness, you're righteous before God because you've placed
your faith on the Lord God, amen, you're saved
the moment you're saved you become a child of God, you're part of his family
that's not going to change, but notice what else was said about Abraham
following this, it says, and he was called the friend
of God, he was called the friend
of God, Abraham got saved, praise God
for that, but you know what, Abraham said, you know what, I don't want to just be saved
I want to be God's friend, brethren, that's what we need to
that's how we ought to be in life, you want to do better
you want to be more spiritual, you know, you want to overcome sin
then, like, you know, you need to get rid of your bad friends
that are causing you to sin, number one, but you need to have the best friend
you need to be the one that will encourage you, iron sharpener for iron
if God's sharpening you, you're going to turn out to be pretty cool
pretty good, okay, as a Christian, but what do you need, you need to be his friend
you need to be God's friend, there are many people that are saved
many people that are saved, but they don't spend time reading the Bible
you know, there's probably someone in this church that's never read the Bible cover to cover
but what is the Bible? The Bible are God's words
to us, it's how he speaks to us, and when we go to God
in prayer, that's when we speak to God
what is a friendship? I mean, look, I have children, they're brought in my family
nothing's going to change that, but you know what, not only am I a father to them
but I also try to be a friend, I've got a lot of friends at home
I try to get along with my children, I want to be a positive influence to them
but you know what that requires? That requires speaking to them
that requires spending time with them, that's what a friend is, right?
You spend life together, you speak to one another, you communicate
well this is how God speaks to you, and if you
never pick that Bible up, and just sits on your shelf, you're saying to your friend
I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to hear from you
if you don't go to God in prayer, and I think we could be praying a lot more
you're saying to God, God I don't want to talk to you, what kind of friend are you then?
What kind of friend are you to God? I mean, let's say
you've got a human friend, my wife, I told you she's my best friend
but what if I just go by life never speaking to her, never caring for her
never wondering how can I be a blessing to her, never opening my mouth
because she's got nothing good to say to me, or whatever, I mean what kind of friendship
is that? That's going to end in marital problems
maybe divorce
if Abraham was a friend to God, you know that he acted
as a friend to God, you know that he spent time praying to the Lord
in fact many times in the book of Genesis we read that he called upon the name of the Lord
he was constantly communicating with the Lord
there was a time when God physically visited Abraham, and Abraham was
hey God, come and stay at my house, come and stay for a meal, you may remember that before
God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, that's the kind of friend that Abraham was
to God, he wanted God in his house
do you want God at your house? Or would you be ashamed to bring him into your house?
I don't know man, maybe there are things in my house that I'd be ashamed about
but if God is my friend I should be willing to work with him in every
area of my life, I should be willing to pick up the Bible and say
hey friend, what do you have to say to me today? I want to be sharpened
by the most powerful iron, the most
righteous and perfect iron that exists, let me be sharpened by that one
that's going to help my countenance, that's going to help my outlook to life
when I form a friendship with God, let me encourage you in that area
let me encourage you to be a friend to God, go to James 4 now
James 4 verse number 4
this will help you be a good judge on whether you're a friend
to God or not, James 4 verse number 4
know ye not that the friendship
of the world, who's your friend?
Is God your friend? Or do you have a friendship with the world?
It says know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity
that's like enemy, with God, look at this
whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world
is an enemy of God, he's speaking
to believers, he's speaking to believers that are committing spiritual adultery
against the Lord God, he says look you love the world
too much, you're too much of a friend to a wicked world
and by being a friend to that world you've become an enemy to God
you see you have a choice, salvation is free
Jesus Christ, he showed his friendliness toward us
laying down his life, what a friend we have in Jesus
but then what kind of friend are you to the Lord God?
You say I love the Lord, I'm his friend but I love the world
and I'm a friend to this world, it can't be, it can't be
as a Christian we have to decide who is our friend
where do I want my friendship to be residing in
this world or my Jesus Christ, my Lord God
who is my friend? And you can't have one foot in the world
one foot in the Lord and say you're a friend of God, it cannot be
Reverend let me encourage you, be a friend to God, he's the best friend
you'll ever have, he'll never leave you, never forsake you
he won't offend you, you offend him every day
sin is the transgression of his law, every time you sin, you sin every day
you offend God every day, every day, could you imagine having a friend
that just every day offends you
every day offends you, you'd be like I'm sick of this person
but God is long suffering, his mercies are new every morning
every morning his mercies are new, praise God for a good friend that he is to me
but I can't always say that I'm the best friend to God
so it's definitely an area in our life that we need to fix, alright Reverend once again Proverbs 18
24, a man that have friends must show himself friendly
and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother, let's pray
thank you for your word, Lord thank you for being such a great friend, Lord thank you for loving us
so much, for sending your son to die in my place, Lord thank you for Jesus Christ so much
and God I'm sorry that I've not been the kind of friend that I ought to be toward you
Lord I'm sure there are many in our church that would feel the same way as well, Lord we make too many
friendships in this world, too much attraction to this world and Lord I just pray
you'd encourage us, you'd motivate us Lord that you'd sharpen us Lord
with an eye and sometimes that sharpening can be a little bit tough Lord
but we need to receive it, we need to be convicted Lord, we need to be chastised sometimes
we need to be dealt with Lord sometimes as disobedient children
Lord we don't want to be your enemies, Lord we thank you so much for the salvation
and we want to be your friend, Lord help us to love your word, help us to spend time with you
and thank you so much Lord that you're a God that answers our prayers, we pray these things in Jesus name
Amen, alright Reverend let's turn to hymn number 115
hymn number 115
Let's sing
No One Ever Cared For Me Like Jesus, 115
No One Ever Cared For Me Like Jesus
Let us allow peace, let us allow peace