Genesis 31, and look at verse number three, Genesis 31, verse three.
And the Lord said unto Jacob, Return unto the land of thy fathers,
and to thy kindred, and I will be with thee.
The title for the sermon this afternoon is, I will be with thee.
God had given Jacob an instruction, return to your land, and I'm going to go with you, said God.
And you see, this is one of the things that you're going to find through this chapter.
And I was thinking about how God promises these things.
We've seen this through the patriarchs.
God's always telling, look, I'm going to be with you, with you.
And just brought to remember, it's a few passages in the New Testament.
You don't need to turn there, just listen.
Hebrews 13, 5 says, Let your conversation be without covetousness.
Your conversation there is your lifestyle, your behavior.
And be content with such things as he have,
for he have said, I will never leave thee nor forsake thee.
You know, God says he will never leave us nor forsake us.
So we should be content with what we have.
You know, we worry about the little things that we have.
I wish we had a newer car.
I wish I had more finances.
I wish I had a whatever, more children, whatever, whatever your desires are.
Look, God says, look, be content.
Don't be covetous.
He will never leave us.
Verse number six says, So that we may boldly say,
The Lord is my helper, I will not fear what man shall do unto me.
You know, when God promises that he's going to be with us,
he wants us to take the promise that he will be our helper.
We should not fear what man can do unto us.
Now, as we go through this chapter in Genesis 31,
even though God told Jacob, I'm going to be with you,
we see that Jacob did have a fear of labor.
Jacob had a fear of man would do unto him.
Romans chapter eight, verse 38 says,
For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities,
nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature shall be able to separate us
from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
What a great promise that as believers,
nothing will ever take us out of the love of God.
Nothing will separate that.
No powers, no principalities, no powers on this earth,
no powers in the spiritual realm can ever take away God's love for us.
In Psalm 46, verse one, it says, God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
A very present help in trouble.
You see, God never promises us that we won't go through troubles.
In fact, he guarantees us that we're going to go through troubles,
through tribulations, but he says there'll be a very present help.
When we're going through those troubles, he'll be there,
that we can call upon him.
He's there close by.
He'll be with us.
That's a great promise that God has given us as believers.
And so as we begin to look at Genesis 31,
you'll probably notice that Genesis 31, Genesis 32, and Genesis 33
have a very similar theme.
And this has to do with conflict resolution.
Conflict resolution.
We know the story of Laban.
We've gone through it more recently,
where Laban has cheated Jacob out of his wages.
Remember, he was going to marry Rachel.
Laban tricked him and gave him a leer,
and then he had to work another seven years for Rachel.
Not only that, you know, when Jacob was trying to produce offspring
of cattle, sheep, and goats for himself,
Laban pulled away all the speckled and the brown creatures.
So Jacob could not produce as many,
but God still stepped in and caused that he would have
a great productivity amongst the sheep that he was shepherding.
And so Genesis 31, 32, 33 is about conflict resolution,
beginning with conflict with Laban, and how he resolves this problem.
Not only how he resolves it,
but the mistakes he makes leading up to the resolution.
And then we know, obviously, in his history,
he's had problems with his brother Esau.
We cover this in the next two chapters,
where there's an unresolved situation
where Esau had made a promise, a vow,
to kill Jacob once the father had died.
And so this is another fear that we see of Jacob
having to deal with these loose ends that he's not tied up,
and how he makes a resolution with his brother Esau as well.
So think of these next three chapters as one key theme on conflict resolution.
Verse number one, Genesis 31, verse one.
And he heard the words of Laban's son, saying,
Jacob have taken away all that was our father's,
and of that which was our father's, have he gotten all this glory.
And Jacob held, beheld the countenance of Laban,
and behold, he was not toward him as before.
So Laban was kind once to Jacob, was trying to,
you know, took advantage of him,
but now his demeanor had changed toward Jacob.
And one thing you notice in verse number one
is that Jacob started to hear the gossip about him.
You know, there were other people in the family speaking harshly,
you know, speaking gossip about Jacob,
saying that he had taken away what belonged to Laban,
when the previous chapter we saw that Laban had increased with goods
because of the hard work of Jacob.
Instead of saying, hey, our father Laban has been increased,
what a blessing Jacob has been,
now they turn around and say,
well, Jacob is still in everything that belongs to our father.
Hey, those things did not belong to his father.
It was Jacob working hard that caused the two
to be highly productive with the hand of God there,
guiding Jacob's steps.
And then it says there in verse number three,
and the Lord said unto Jacob,
return unto the land of thy fathers,
and to thy kindred, and I will be with thee.
So there's that promise that God will be with him.
He says, well, just go back to your land.
You've worked those 14 years.
You've worked some extra years now,
you know, growing the cattle for Laban.
Now it's time for you to head back, right?
God had made clear instruction.
And this is the best thing about being a Christian,
is when you can receive clear instruction from God.
You know, I like having options.
I like being flexible.
I like being able to say, you know,
maybe if I do this, maybe I do that.
You know, God allows certain flexibility in our lives,
but I really like it when God makes it so clear,
this is the direction that you need to walk.
God made it super clear.
Jacob would be doing the right thing
to be heading back to his land.
Not only is he heading back, God's promised,
I'll be with you, I'll protect you.
I will be your help in the time of trouble.
Verse number four,
And Jacob sent and called Rachel and Leah
to the field unto his flock.
So he takes his two wives and said unto them,
I see your father's countenance,
that it is not toward me as before,
but the God of my father have been with me.
So there's Jacob reflecting back.
Yeah, Laban's treated me harshly.
Laban's cheated me.
Laban's cheated me out of my wages,
but God has been with me.
And then says in verse number six,
And ye know that with all my power,
I have served your father,
and your father have deceived me,
and changed my wages ten times,
but God suffered him not to hurt me.
So we know about the changes of the wages.
We've seen that, you know,
the change of the wife,
the change of him being able to produce certain cattle.
But we see that there's more to the story
than what we've actually read in the Bible.
Jacob talks about ten times
that Laban has deceived him.
Ten times Laban has tried to cheat him
out of his finances,
out of the labor of his hands.
And I want you to remember this.
The title was I Will Be With Thee.
And one thing you notice here is that
even though Jacob's been cheated financially,
he says God was with me.
He says God was with me.
And I want you to remember this.
When you have been cheated financially,
if you've been cheated financially,
if someone has taken that which belongs to you,
someone has promised to return some loan
and they've not done that,
or people have broken into your house,
maybe stolen your goods,
and you feel like you've been violated.
You feel downcast.
You feel like giving up.
God says I'm with you the whole way through,
even when you've been cheated.
And Jacob, such a good character about him,
he says look, I've worked with all the...
What did he say?
Where he said he worked with all his power.
Where was that?
Sorry, I missed the point there.
Verse number six.
And you know that with all my power
I have served your father.
And I love that because he's such a good character.
You know, he's been cheated out of this.
He's been lied to by Laban.
He's still working with all his power.
He's doing everything.
Why?
Because he knows God is with him.
That's what's going to make you productive.
That's what's going to lift up your head
and keep working hard when you say God is with me.
I don't care what these people are doing to me.
I don't care how they're cheating me.
I'm just going to serve the way I serve God
with all my strength.
And verse number eight.
And he said thus,
the speckled shall be thy wages
and the cattle bear speckled.
And if he said thus,
the ring-strait shall be thy hire,
then bear all the cattle ring-strait.
Thus God have taken away the cattle of your father
and given them to me.
And it came to pass at that time
that the cattle conceived
and I lifted up my knives
and saw in a dream and behold the rams
which leaped upon the cattle
were ring-strait, speckled and grizzled.
And the angel of God
specked unto me in a dream Saint Jacob.
And I said, here am I.
And he said, lift up thine eyes
and see all the rams which leap upon the cattle
are ring-strait, speckled and grizzled.
For I have seen all that labor and doeth unto thee.
I am the God of Bethel
where thou anointest a pillar
and where thou vowest thou vow unto me.
Now arise, get thee out of this land
and return unto the land of thy kindred.
So Jacob is just going back to the promise
that God gave him,
that God was going to take care of these cattle,
that the cattle was going to produce
and be the income, be the wages,
the finances for Jacob.
We covered that last week.
If you want to go back to that,
you can look at that again.
But what God says to Jacob,
I love verse number 13.
He says, I am the God of Bethel.
And Bethel, if you remember,
is the term for the house of God
where thou anointest a pillar.
What is the church?
A pillar and the ground of truth.
And where thou vowest thou vow unto me.
What was that vow that he vowed?
That he would give a tenth of all
that he had the tithe.
So this goes hand in hand
with what I preached this morning.
Now arise, get thee from this land
and return unto the land of thy kindred.
Into the land of thy kindred.
So the Bible doesn't tell us
that he goes back to this place,
Bethel, on his way back.
I personally believe he does, okay?
Because he's returning.
That was the vow,
that when he returned back,
if all the Lord did was provide
his food and his clothing,
and was able to return back in peace,
that he would give a tenth.
Well, he's got more than just clothing now, right?
He's got a whole heap of cattle.
He's got a whole heap of servants.
And I believe he will be passing
through this place because of the vow.
God reminds him of the vow that he made there.
And so even though it's not recorded
for us in the Bible,
I do believe he passed by there again
and gave his tithe, gave his tenth.
Verse number 14.
And Rachel and Leah answered
and said unto him,
Is there yet any portion of
or inheritance for us in our father's house?
Are we not counted of him strangers?
For he have sold us
and have quite devoured also our money.
For all the riches which God have taken
from our father, that is ours,
and our children's,
now then whatsoever God have said unto thee, do.
So what they say is,
look, you know,
that they look back at their father,
their father, you know,
the things that they believed
they would inherit.
They realize now,
well, our children are going to inherit that
because God has given that to Jacob.
And what I see here with the wise,
what they're saying is, you know,
they don't really want to leave their father,
but the same, but we can see how God
has given this now to our children
through the labor of Jacob.
Okay. And what I see here,
what I like is the leadership.
Now, of course, I've covered this before.
You shouldn't have more than one wife,
more than two wives,
more than one wife.
Okay. But what it does,
he says, look, God's given me instruction.
I'm heading back.
And you see the wives
being submissive to that.
They recognize Jacob's the head here.
Yes, they will miss their father.
They point to that fact.
Okay. They don't really want
to leave their father.
Hey, but they've made a vow of marriage.
They are wives to Jacob
and Jacob takes the leadership.
The wives are submissive to that leading.
Okay. Now, this is really important
as we go through the chapter,
because Laban was the one
that couldn't let go of his daughters.
Okay. And this is important
for newlywed couples
that you've got to detach yourself
from your parents.
Okay. You're a new family unit
and parents that have the kids get married,
they have to learn how to let go as well,
because it's going to cause conflict
in the family.
Verse number 17.
Then Jacob rose up
and set his sons and wives upon camels.
And he carried away all his cattle
and all his goods,
which he had gotten,
the cattle of his getting,
which he had gotten in Padanaram,
for to go to Isaac his father
in the land of Canaan.
And Laban went to shear his sheep.
And Rachel had stolen the images
that were her father's.
Now, this is an interesting thing
about Rachel.
I've already covered Rachel
and I said she's probably
the less spiritual of the two sisters.
Right. And we see here
that Laban has these images,
which later say that they're idols,
like false gods.
And for some reason,
she takes them with them.
Okay. For some reason,
sees them, she steals them.
The thing is about this,
the Bible doesn't tell us why she did this.
It doesn't really tell us why, you know.
And we're kind of left to our opinions
as to what that is.
And I don't really want
to give you my opinion.
Right. I don't really know.
I mean, the options are that
maybe she had an attachment
to these false gods.
That's one reason.
Maybe another reason is that
these idols were made of precious metals,
you know, gold or silver.
And she valued it.
She coveted it,
brought it for financial wealth.
I don't know.
Maybe she said,
I don't want my father
to worship these devils anymore.
These idols,
I'm going to steal them away from you.
We don't know.
We don't know what those,
what the reason is.
I mean, I guess you could come up
with your thoughts,
but the Bible never really dictates for us
why she did this.
Nevertheless, it was wrong for her to do that,
to steal from her father.
And it says here in verse number 20.
Now, I want you to notice the words
as we're in this,
because right now,
no one is speaking, right?
These aren't the words of men or women.
This is the narrator telling us
what's going on in the Bible.
This is the Holy Spirit
just giving us the narration, right?
Telling us what's going on.
And this is important
because I think this comes,
this helps us understand
why Laban is so upset with Jacob
in this chapter.
It says here in verse number 20,
and Jacob stole away unawares
to Laban the Syrian,
in that he told him not that he fled.
So Jacob's doing the right thing.
God says go back to your land, okay?
But the narrator says
that Jacob has stolen from Laban.
In what way did he steal
that he had not told him
that he was, had he fled,
that he had not left?
The right thing for Jacob
would have been to face Laban.
Say Laban, enough.
I've worked long enough for you.
It's time for me to go home.
God's told me to go home.
I'm letting you know
that in a week or two weeks
or whatever tomorrow,
we're packing up,
we're heading back to the land, okay?
The Holy Spirit tells us
that by not doing that,
that he had stolen this opportunity
from Laban.
And this makes perfect sense
as we keep going, okay?
So even though,
just keep that in mind,
even though Jacob's doing the right thing,
God told him to go.
God didn't tell him,
go and don't tell Laban.
That was Jacob's decision, right?
Jacob had a fear of Laban
and you'll see this
because again,
Laban had kind of mistreated him,
had cheated him out of his wages
and he probably held a lot of bitterness
as well toward him.
Because you know,
why should I say bye to Laban?
Let's just go.
You know, he'll wake up one morning
and realize we're not there, you know?
And, but that's the wrong way.
And this is again
about dealing with conflict.
He's had conflict with Laban, okay?
And the first thing
you need to learn with conflict
is don't run away from the situation.
Don't run away from the conflict.
You know,
God expects us to resolve things.
God expects us to bring closure
to situations,
not to run away from them, okay?
And this is what Jacob is doing.
He's running away from Laban.
And then it says in verse number 21,
So he fled with all that he had
and he rose up and passed over the river
and set his face toward the Mount Gilead.
And it was told Laban on the third day
that Jacob was fled.
So he finds out three days later, all right?
And he took his brethren with him
and pursued after him seven days journey
and they overtook him in the Mount Gilead.
So obviously,
this wouldn't have been too difficult
for Laban to catch up
because Jacob's leaving with a whole entourage
of cattle, servants,
and then Laban just grabs a few of his brethren
and they head out.
So there's less for them to travel and carry.
You know, obviously Jacob had children as well.
Those kinds of things
will slow down your journey.
And then verse number
24,
And God came to Laban the Syrian
in a dream by night
and said unto him,
Take heed, that's listen, take heed,
that thou speak not to Jacob
either good or bad.
Okay.
God realizes that Laban's really upset.
Okay.
And Laban says that he was actually
thinking about hurting Jacob,
doing something harmful toward Jacob
for taking his daughters away
and all the cattle and stuff that he had.
And God says,
Look, don't speak to him good or bad.
Now, I think this is, you know,
we can see how God sees this situation,
is that Jacob was doing good
in the sense that he was obeying God
going back to the land,
but he also had done bad
by not letting Laban know.
Okay.
And kind of in order for God
to diffuse this situation,
he says to Laban,
Look, don't tell him he's done good.
Don't tell him that he's done bad.
Okay.
We'll see this come up again.
Verse number 25,
Then Laban overtook Jacob.
Now Jacob had pitched his tent in the mount,
and Laban with his brethren
pitched in the mount of Gilead.
And Laban said to Jacob,
What hast thou done,
that thou hast stolen away unawares to me
and carried away my daughters
as captives taken with the sword?
Laban's very upset.
He's saying like,
You're like this guy that's just come in
and stolen everything that belongs to me.
And he's right to say that
Jacob has stolen away
because the narrator of the Bible
says he's stolen away.
In the sense that he had not advised Laban
that he was leaving.
Okay.
Even though the wives did belong to Jacob.
Verse number 27,
Wherefore, why didst thou flee away secretly
and steal away from me?
And didst not tell me
that I might have sent thee away with myrrh
and with songs, with tabaret and with harp?
Look, Laban is saying,
Look, if you just came to me,
and I believe Laban here.
I actually believe him.
Because we're seeing how he feels
toward his family.
Even though he's been a bit of deceiver.
Even though he's cheated Jacob.
He says,
Look, if you just told me you were leaving,
I would have given you gifts,
these myrrh,
expensive ointments.
We would have had songs,
tabaret, harp.
We would have had a party.
We would have put on a celebration
before you left.
Says Laban.
I believe him.
Right?
I believe him.
And I think if he'd just done that,
if Jacob had just gone to Laban
and said, Look, Laban,
it's enough now.
You know, I've got to move on.
Laban would be like,
Well, you know,
this is my last chance to say bye to my daughters,
to my grandchildren.
Let's just have a celebration.
And that would have probably resolved the issues
that they had between them, right?
But Jacob did not allow that to happen.
He just left.
He fled.
He had stolen this opportunity
away from Laban.
And so he's very upset.
Look at verse 28.
And has not suffered,
not allowed me to kiss my sons
and my daughters.
Thou has done foolishly in so doing.
And so what I want to bring to your attention
is that if you have conflict
and you run away from that conflict,
you don't deal with it,
you're doing foolishly.
You're doing foolishly
when you just try to ignore situations.
Now, if there's a situation
between you and others
or brethren in this church,
you've got to deal with it directly.
Okay, otherwise,
you're doing foolishly.
Verse number 29.
And then it says this,
It is in the power of my hand
to do you hurt.
It says, Look,
I was going to come and hurt you, right?
I don't know what he was going to do to him, right?
But then it says,
But the God of your father
spake unto me yesterday saying,
Take thou heed
that thou speak not to Jacob,
either good or bad.
Okay, so there's that good or bad again.
So he's listening to at least God,
you know, the real God,
not his false gods.
He's listening to the true God.
And again, you know,
he couldn't say,
Jacob, why have you done badly to leave
when God instructed Jacob to leave?
And he couldn't say,
you've done well because you've left.
It's because he should have dealt with the conflict.
He should have dealt with the loose end.
He should have allowed Laban
to say goodbye to his family,
to his children,
okay, grandchildren.
And so I think the three lessons
we can get out of this,
and if you guys,
please go to Matthew.
We're going to look at Matthew
a little bit here.
Go to Matthew 18, verse 15.
Matthew 18, verse 15.
The three lessons that I think
we can take away from this story here
is number one,
don't run away from your conflicts.
Number two,
face your offender.
Okay, face your offender.
And number three,
which we'll have a look at soon,
is do good to your enemies.
You know, if to Jacob Laban was an enemy,
he still should have done good to his enemy,
okay, and he had actually done evil.
He had run away from the situation.
In Matthew 18, verse 15,
and again, the book of Genesis
is the book of beginnings.
Okay, we get a lot of the foundational principles
that we find in other passages of the Bible.
Matthew 18, verse 15 says,
Moreover, if thy brother shall trespass against thee,
go and tell him his fault
between thee and him alone,
and so if he shall hear thee,
thou has gained thy brother.
Okay, now we see this in the Bible.
It's Jacob should have gone to Laban
and dealt with it and say,
Laban, you've cheated me.
And look, it's all good.
God's been with me anyway.
God has blessed me,
but it's time for me to move on.
Let's celebrate.
Let's put on the party.
Let's exchange gifts.
Say goodbye to the family.
Let's just make sure this situation,
you know, is dealt with.
Okay, and so the principle we see here
in Matthew 18 is that
if there's a conflict between brethren
in the context here is the church,
you need to go and deal with them directly.
Don't run away from it.
Don't ignore it.
Just deal with it.
And it's more than likely
you're going to end up with a situation there.
Thou has gained thy brother.
More than likely,
if you just deal with the conflict,
you're going to strengthen that relationship,
strengthen that friendship.
I mean, it's a good thing, all right?
People are afraid to deal with conflict
because they think it's going to cause further conflicts.
That could happen, but more likely,
especially if it's two brethren in church,
you just want to sort it out.
You just want to put it behind you and move on, right?
So usually if you just do that,
you deal with the conflict,
you're going to have a positive outcome, all right?
Please go to Matthew 5.
Matthew 5, verse 43.
Matthew 5, verse 43 says,
Ye have heard that it had been said,
Thou shalt love thy neighbor,
but hate thine enemy.
So this is not something that's found in the Bible.
This was just a saying that was being said
to hate your enemy.
But I say unto you,
Love your enemies,
bless them that curse you,
do good to them that hate you,
and pray for them which despitefully use you,
and persecute you.
What should Jacob have done to Laban,
though he had been despitefully used?
He should have done good to Laban, right?
He should have loved his enemy.
Verse number 45.
That ye may be the children of your father,
which is in heaven,
for he maketh his son to rise
on the evil and on the good,
and send the rain on the just and on the unjust.
For if ye love them which love you,
what reward have you?
You do not even the, sorry,
do not even the publicans the same.
You know brethren,
it's easy to love those that love us.
It's easy to love our family that love us.
It's easy to love our brethren that love us.
But the publicans do the same.
The non-believers do the same.
It's easy to love those that love you.
The challenge, the spiritual challenge
Jesus Christ is speaking of here
is to love your enemies,
those that you don't get anything out of them.
You don't get any kind of love, right?
Verse number 47.
And if ye salute your brethren only,
what do ye more than others?
Do not even the publican so?
Be ye therefore perfect,
that's been complete,
even as your father which is in heaven is perfect.
God wants us to be complete, perfect,
when it comes to dealing with our relationships.
Yes, with our brethren.
Show love to our brethren.
But when it comes to your enemies,
those that have mistreated you,
those that have despitefully used you,
maybe those that persecute you,
the Bible says show them love, show them love.
And you're going to represent our God,
our father which is in heaven.
And the last thing,
please go to Romans 12 verse 17.
Romans 12 verse 17.
Make no mistake, Jacob done wrong.
Okay, and I know we like to side with,
you know, the man of God in the Bible,
but the men of God in the Bible
do many wrong things, right?
And we have to highlight the wrong things
that they do as well, you know.
Romans 12 17 says,
recompense to no man evil for evil,
provide things honest in the sight of all men.
Laban had done evil to Jacob,
no doubt about it,
but then Jacob had done evil to Laban.
You know, he left, he fled,
he had stolen that opportunity
for him to farewell his family.
Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves,
but rather give place unto wrath.
That's God's wrath.
For it is written, vengeance is mine.
I will repay, saith the Lord.
Therefore, if I in enemy hunger feed him,
if you first give him drink,
for in so doing, thou shall heap
coals of fire on his head,
be not overcome of evil,
but overcome evil with good.
Jacob should have overcome the evil
that Laban had done to him with good.
Okay, and by doing so,
he would have allowed the anger,
the wrath of God to come upon Laban.
Okay, that's a good way to deal with enemies.
God, can you deal with it?
Man, this is, I love,
this is such a game changer for me.
Once I understood this,
I used to get frustrated.
I used to be thin-skinned, right?
You go from being thin-skinned
and then you learn lessons
and you get to thicker skin, right?
Used to be thin-skinned.
Everything used to offend me when I was younger.
You know, people, you know,
laughing at me, teasing me.
Now I tease myself, right?
If I just laugh at myself,
that doesn't give other people
the opportunity to laugh at me, right?
You know, you know,
you got to learn how to be
a little thicker skin sometimes in life.
And one thing that I learned with this was,
well, God, I want to destroy that person.
I want to get back to that person.
But if I do good to them,
you're going to take care of that.
You're going to take care of that.
You're going to bring the vengeance upon that
if that person doesn't reconcile
and do good unto me.
Like if they continue on this path,
God, you'll take,
I don't even need to know, Lord.
I just know by the word of God,
you say you're going to take care of that.
I can go about my life living happy
and just know somehow God's going to
balance the books.
Somehow God's going to bring
vengeance on that person.
And the more good that I do to my enemy,
the greater those coals of fire
will be upon his head
when it comes to God's wrath.
All right.
So if I've been super good to you one day,
you'll be surrounded.
Oh man, is Kevin putting
coals of fire on my head?
No, no, no.
That's got to do with your enemies, okay?
That's got to do with your enemies.
But it's such a relief when you know
that God can take care of these things
that you feel you've been harshly dealt with.
And you probably have been harshly dealt with,
but leave it to God
to balance those books.
You just do good to your enemies.
Let's go back to Genesis 31 verse 30.
Genesis 31 verse 30.
So those three lessons very quickly,
once again, do good to your enemies.
Don't run away from conflicts.
Face your offender, okay?
Verse number 30.
And now, though thou wouldst needs be gone,
because thou saw longest
after thy father's house,
yet wherefore hast thou stolen my gods?
So these are the images that Rachel had stolen.
And Jacob answered and said unto Laban,
because I was afraid,
there's a fear of Jacob, right?
For I said, peradventure,
thou wouldst take by force
thy daughters from me.
So he says, look, I was afraid to tell you
that I was leaving.
I was afraid.
I thought that you're going to take
my wives away from me.
I thought that you're going to take
your daughters away from me.
And this is the problem that Laban had, okay?
He couldn't let go of his daughters.
He had given them to marriage,
and he just, he kept wanting to be there.
Now this shows me he had a great love
for his daughters.
Great to have a great love,
but you got to also learn to let go.
And he had not learned that lesson
to let go of his daughters
once they were married.
But one thing you notice in Jacob there,
he says he was afraid.
And again, God had just finished on him.
I will be with you, right?
I will be with you.
I will be that help in times of trouble.
And even though God had said
those words to Jacob,
you see that Jacob,
a little spiritually weak here,
still had a fear of man.
And this caused him to not have
his full faith and trust in God.
This caused him not to deal with a conflict
and unresolved matter in the proper ways.
All right, because of fear.
Verse number 32.
With whomsoever thou findest thy gods,
let him not live.
Wow, Jacob says if you find somebody,
one of these servants,
one of these people here,
that stole your gods,
yeah, don't let him live.
Just, you can kill him.
It was Rachel that had stolen these gods.
It was Rachel.
You know, his own wife
and Laban's own daughter.
So obviously, Jacob doesn't know
about this situation.
Before our brethren discern thou
what is thine with me,
and take it to thee,
for Jacob knew not that Rachel
had stolen them.
And Laban went into Jacob's tent
and into Leah's tent,
and into the two maidservant's tents,
but he found them not.
Then went he out of Leah's tent
and entered into Rachel's tent.
Now Rachel had taken the images
and put them in the camel's furniture
and sat upon them,
and Laban searched all the tents,
but found them not.
And she said to her father,
let it not displease my lord
that I cannot rise up before thee,
for the custom of women is upon me,
and he searched but found not the images.
So very quickly,
I don't have a lot to bring out of that,
because we don't really, again,
we don't know much more about this,
but Laban doesn't find the images.
He doesn't find the gods.
And he searches all the tents of the people,
and when he gets to Rachel's tent,
what I believe is saying here,
in verse number 34,
that she had taken the images
and put them in the camel's furniture.
So it seems like she was riding a camel,
on this journey back to the land of Canaan.
She's on a camel.
The camel's furniture is probably
all the stuff the camels carry in,
you know, the saddle and all the other things
that are stockpiled on the camel.
And she's probably hidden the gods,
this is how I see it,
the gods underneath all that.
But she's sitting on the saddle,
or whatever that is, in her room,
and she says to her father,
look, I can't move because
I'm experiencing my menstrual cycle right now.
And so Laban respects that and leaves her alone.
But she was the one that stole it,
you know, she was the one that was hiding
those false gods.
And again, I can't really say much more on that,
because the Bible doesn't make it very clear
what happened to those gods.
You know, Laban never finds them.
Rachel never admits to taking them
or anything like that.
So we could just move on here
in verse number 36.
Now if you can keep your finger there,
go back to Matthew 18 verse 16.
Matthew 18.
Now again, Jacob's in the wrong,
because his own wife had stolen these things,
right?
But Jacob doesn't know.
And again, the principles that we see
in the book of Genesis will play out
in other passages of the Bible.
So first they have this conflict
between the two of them, right?
Then Jacob says, look, you know,
you're claiming that I have stolen something,
and Rachel had, but he didn't know that.
And you're claiming that,
and you know, you're trying to make me look bad.
You know, and so what he says is,
look, let's just bring our case before
these witnesses so they may judge
betwixt us both at the verse of 37.
And this ties in once again
with the conflict resolution
that we see in the Bible
in Matthew 18 verse 16.
Matthew 18 verse 16.
So once you go to your brother alone,
and if your brother does not want to hear,
does not want to deal with
the conflict resolution,
it says here in verse number 16,
So we see this playing out, right?
Laban's come trying to deal with
this conflict with Jacob.
They can't resolve it.
They can't find this missing item,
these missing gods.
Jacob then says, look,
let's just bring this case
before the other brethren,
before the other people,
so they can hear and judge and decide.
And so that's what I love about the Bible,
just the consistency in the Bible.
We see a story playing out
in the Old Testament.
Then God seems to take that story and go,
yep, this is how things
ought to be dealt with in the church.
Verse number 38, Genesis 31 verse 38.
Genesis 31 verse 38.
And this is now Jacob bringing his case
before the witnesses,
between the brethren there.
It says here,
So we see now that Jacob says,
look, I've worked for you for 20 years.
We know he worked 14 years for the wives.
So now there's been an extra 60 years
that have taken place.
Since this event here.
Verse number 39.
And that has changed my wages 10 times.
He says, look,
I've worked for you this long, 20 years,
and it hasn't been easy.
You know, there's been times
when beasts have come in
and ravaged the sheep, right?
Destroyed things.
But he says, look,
he just, he bore the loss.
Jacob bore the loss, right?
And he says, you know,
also the frost by night,
my sleep departed from my eyes,
the day the drought consumed me.
You know, he was faithful
to the work that he had,
even though he went through
the hardships.
He had times of drought.
He had times of cold at night
and he had times
and he couldn't even sleep.
But he was looking after
that which belonged to Laban.
So he's bringing out his case, right?
He's bringing his case and says,
look, I've done more.
I've gone above and beyond Laban.
And I've burnt the loss,
you know, myself.
And you've changed my wages 10 times.
Verse number 42.
Except the God of my father,
the God of Abraham
and the fear of Isaac had been with me.
I want you to just remember that.
The fear of Isaac.
So he refers to the God of my father,
that's Isaac,
the God of Abraham
and the fear of Isaac.
And you see later on,
this has to do with
the one who Isaac fears
because Laban has his gods
and then Isaac,
his Jacob's father,
has the God which he fears.
Okay, that's the God of the Bible,
the God of Abraham.
And that plays into part later on.
It says in verse 42,
had been with me,
surely thou had sent me away now empty.
God have seen my affliction
and the labor of my hands
and rebuked thee yesternight.
You guys look,
if God wasn't with me during this time,
these 20 years that I worked with you,
if God had not been with me,
I would have left with nothing.
He says surely this was the hand of God
and even God rebukes you
before you come and hurt me.
God says, hey, don't say that he's done wrong.
Don't say that he's done good.
Just settle this, right?
Verse number 43.
And Laban answered and said unto Jacob,
so now Jacob's bringing his case forward, right?
And the witnesses are listening to this.
Like a court case.
And Laban answered and said unto Jacob,
these daughters are my daughters.
See how he holds on?
No, he meant to let them go.
They're married.
They're married to this man.
These daughters are my daughters
and these children,
these grandchildren, I suppose,
are my children
and these cattle are my cattle
and all that thou seest is mine.
And what can I do this day
unto these my daughters
or unto their children
which they have borne?
Now therefore, come thou,
let us make a covenant,
I and thou,
and let it be for a witness
between me and thee.
So they're both pointing out
the wrong that they've done, all right?
Laban, you've done wrong to me
with the work that I've done for you.
Laban says you've done wrong
because you've taken away my family
without letting me know,
you know, my daughters
and my grandchildren.
So they both realize,
okay, we've done wrong, okay?
And this is normally conflict.
This is, I would say 99% of conflict
is like this.
And usually, the people
that don't want to resolve conflicts,
they're like, I'm so innocent.
I've got nothing to do with this.
I've done what's right
and it's that person that's done me wrong.
It's never like that.
Maybe someone has done more wrong
than the other,
but usually, most often,
both have done some element of wrong, okay?
Both have done some element of wrong
and I think they just realized here,
okay, we've both done wrong, all right?
Instead of just trying to find themselves
innocent before the witnesses,
as they're given their case,
it comes to this situation here
where Laban goes, all right,
you know, verse number 44.
Now therefore, come thou,
let us make a covenant.
Let's make an agreement.
Let's settle this, right?
I am thou,
and let it be for a witness
between me and thee.
And Jacob took a stone
and set it up for a pillar,
the same way he had set up a pillar,
what he called the house of God before.
So, you know, Jacob's,
you know, made a sort of a covenant,
an agreement with God back in those days,
and then now he's making 20 years later
an agreement with Laban.
And Jacob said unto his brethren,
verse number 46,
Gather stones,
and they took stones and made in heap,
and they did eat there upon the heap.
So I'm assuming this
is probably a large monument.
Like, it's not just Jacob doing this,
but every one of his brethren,
it says this obviously,
his servants, maybe his children,
they're all bringing these stones
and they're making this big heap,
and then they eat upon them.
So they're having their party now, right?
The party that was meant to be had
that Laban wanted.
Verse number 47,
and Laban called it Jigar-sahaduthah,
but Jacob called it Galid.
And Laban said,
This heap is a witness
between me and thee this day.
Therefore was the name of it called Galid,
and Mizpah and Mizpah.
For he said,
The Lord watched between me and thee
when we are absent one from another.
So he goes, all right,
we're going to separate ourselves
and the Lord will watch over us both.
That's the right approach, right?
Verse number 50.
Now look what he says.
This is what Laban says to Jacob.
If thou shalt afflict my daughters,
or if thou shalt take other wives
besides my daughters,
no man is with us,
see, God is witness
betwixt me and thee.
Laban definitely loves his daughters, right?
He doesn't want Jacob to mistreat them.
He doesn't want Jacob to abuse them
or to take other wives, you know?
You can see that.
And Laban's like,
Just remember, Jacob,
if you treat my daughters harshly,
and if you do wrong to my daughters,
God's watching you.
And he's right.
He's right about that, okay?
So you can see Laban does care.
He does have love.
He's not just this totally wicked guy.
Yes, he does wrong many times,
but that's us.
We're not always perfect, are we?
We're not always righteous
and doing right things.
We often make mistakes.
We often do wrong things,
and that's just what Laban is, right?
Laban's just one of these guys
has great love for his family.
I can't really fault him for that,
for his love.
I can fault him for the way he treated Jacob,
but I can't fault him
for the love he has for his daughters.
But yes, he should have been able
to let them go earlier.
And the Bible says in Genesis 2 24,
Therefore shall a man leave his father
and his mother,
and shall cleave unto his wife,
and they shall be one flesh.
You don't cleave unto the mother-in-law
or the father-in-law.
You cleave unto your wife, okay?
When you are married,
man and woman,
they start a new family unit.
It is totally independent.
It is totally separate
from the family that came before.
Laban struggled to let go,
and because he couldn't let go,
he kept cheating Jacob out of his wages.
And I think what Laban understood here was,
once Jacob finishes working for me,
once he completes all his tasks,
he's going to leave one day.
And he's just trying to prolong those days, right?
Because he wants to be with his daughters.
You know, he loves his daughters,
but, you know, he should have let go.
I love my children.
I love my sons.
I love my daughters.
Right now, I don't want them to get married.
I don't want them out of the house, right?
But when the time comes,
and my sons and my daughters are old enough,
and they can find that person to marry,
I have to be ready,
and fathers, mothers,
you have to be ready to let them go.
Let them go.
If you're trying to hold on to them so strongly,
you're going to cause problems in their family,
in their marriage, okay?
In-law problems.
I mean, everyone knows about the problems with in-laws, right?
Because people struggle to let go,
and that's why God gives us these stories,
so we can learn about the problems,
the situations that can come up
when you're holding too strongly
on those that you should have let go.
Verse number 51.
And Laban said to Jacob,
Behold this heap and behold this pillar,
which I have cast betwixt me and thee.
This heap be witness,
and this pillar be witness,
that I will not pass over this heap to thee,
and that thou shall not pass over this heap
and this pillar unto me for harm.
So they set some boundaries, all right?
They set like a fence.
This pillar, this heap of stones is our boundary.
You know, you won't cross back to me,
I won't cross back to you.
Now, he's not saying we can never cross those boundaries,
he's just saying you can't cross those boundaries for harm.
Okay, you're coming to cause me problems,
you're not allowed to cross that.
And if I have a desire to cause you problems,
I'm not allowed to cross this border.
They had clear boundaries.
And I believe that if you're a newlywed couple,
you need to put those boundaries in place
with your in-laws as soon as possible.
As soon as possible.
When you have children, the in-laws, the grandparents
will want to invest and put some of their thoughts
and ideas into the children,
but you might not be in agreement with that.
You got to set some boundaries, okay?
Make it very clear, setting boundaries is difficult,
but it's going to save you a lot of problems into the future.
Okay, so we see this great principle there,
setting boundaries.
First Corinthians 11 verse three says,
but I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ
and the head of the woman is the man
and the head of Christ is God.
Who is the head of the husband?
Christ, not his old mum and dad.
Not his mum and dad, right?
Not the in-laws.
The one that is head of the man is Christ, okay?
A totally separate independent family
when they get married.
Look at verse number 53.
And God, sorry, so this is still Laban speaking.
He says, the God of Abraham, which is the true God,
the God of Nahor, and we know that they worshiped false gods,
the God of their father judged betwixt us, all right?
So Laban is basically saying, he's got this attitude.
Laban's like, I respect all religions, all gods.
The God of Abraham, the God of Nahor,
the God of their father,
which we know was false gods as well,
let all these gods judge between us, all right?
You know, I respect them all, you know?
And this is where Jacob's very careful how he swears this.
And Jacob swears by the fear of his father, Isaac.
Remember what I told you about that, the fear of the Isaac?
That's the fear that Isaac has for the one true God,
the God of Abraham, all right?
So Laban swears to all these false gods,
including the God of Abraham.
Jacob just swears to the true God, okay?
And so that would have been probably
an awkward situation for him, right?
Anyway, verse number 54.
And Jacob offered sacrifice upon the mount
and called his brethren to eat bread.
And they did eat bread and tarried all night in the mounts.
So the whole night, they're eating, they're celebrating,
you know, this has been resolved, okay?
They've set some boundaries.
God's going to see, you know, if you do wrong,
God's going to see that.
God's going to judge that.
We've brought this before witnesses.
We've addressed it.
We admit we've both done wrong.
We just want to fix this now.
Let's move on with our lives.
Praise God for the conflict resolution.
And then they have a party, okay?
Then they eat and rejoice and celebrate.
Verse number 55.
And early in the morning, Laban rose up
and kissed his sons and his daughters and blessed them.
And Laban departed and returned unto his place.
So you can see there, conflict resolved, okay?
That's the theme of this chapter.
That's the theme of chapters 32, 33,
when Jacob goes back to his house
and he has to deal with his brother Esau,
the one who's seeking to kill him.
You know, how is he going to resolve that matter?
So Brevin, I hope you can take some lessons from this chapter.
If you have any unresolved disputes,
don't run away from them.
Deal with them.
Deal with it directly.
Deal with your conflicts.
Deal with your disputes,
whether it's in this church,
whether it's outside of this church,
whether it's with family,
and be able to move on with your life.
You know, and just accept the fact that God,
you know, you may not get the full outcome you want,
but just make the decision like these guys did
and say, well, God's watching.
God's watching what these others have done.
All right, let's pray.