Let's have a look at Genesis chapter 2 there, and I will be preaching one of my favorite topics today.
But Genesis chapter 2 verse 22, let's just read three verses once again.
It says,
And the rib which the LORD God had taken from man made he a woman,
and brought her unto the man.
And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.
She shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife,
and they shall be one flesh.
The title for the sermon this morning is finding identity and stability in family.
Finding identity and stability in family.
You know, family is so important, so important, you know.
It is so important to God that even here we saw chapter one, we see God created man and woman.
And then in chapter two, we have the detail of why man needed a woman, right?
He could not find his identity amongst the animals.
No, God made sure that he understood that no, look, it's not the animals, you know.
Finding identity and stability in some other network is not where it's at,
but you need to find your identity and your stability within family.
Family is so important that right at the beginning of the Bible,
we see that God creates this on the very first day that God created man.
You know, everyone that's been born is born with a mother and a father.
It's impossible to be born without a mother and a father.
And this is how God's made us.
As soon as you enter into this world, you are part of a family, okay?
And I think sometimes we may underestimate what families are.
You know, when we were going through the COVID challenges here down in Sydney,
you may recall there were 12 LGAs of concern.
Without saying these 12 local government areas, this is where the virus is spreading rapidly.
And it's no surprise why those 12 LGAs were the ones of concern.
It's because it's within those that we have the larger families.
We have the migrant communities that would come
and family is so important to many migrant families.
You know, many European and South American families.
You know, even islander people, you know,
that they tend to value family very, very highly.
One of the culture shocks that I experienced
coming up to the Sunshine Coast in a place that's not so multicultural
is I realized that the value of family is quite different.
I don't know if you all feel this way or not,
but it's something that became very apparent to me
coming from Sydney amongst multicultural families
where they value family very, very highly.
You know, it's a priority in most people's lives.
To go to the Sunshine Coast, I realized family just doesn't seem that important.
You know, the amounts of divorces and breakups and remarriages that are up there.
You know, I was talking to brother Tim just, you know, down here.
And we'll try to determine, is this a Western culture?
Is this an Aussie culture?
Is it a Queensland culture?
We couldn't really determine what it was,
but we found that there's a stark difference between, you know,
the view of family down in Sydney, let's say,
in a multicultural area compared to somewhere like the Sunshine Coast.
And so I think it is within the Australian culture
to where, yeah, you're born into a family.
That's what I'm part of.
But it's more important to sort of find yourself outside of your family
whereas family is really so important to the heart of God
that this is what gives you your true identity,
where you really belong as far as when you're first born.
And this is so important.
Family, it's so critical.
It is so critical that it even makes up the nature of God.
If you can keep your, actually, you can turn away from our Genesis,
but please turn to John chapter 17.
Turn to the book of John, John chapter 17 and verse number 4.
And go to John chapter 17, please.
And verse number 4.
And family exists within the nature of God.
You know, when we talk about God and His triune being,
we talk about God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Ghost.
And notice that immediately we have that relationship
between Father and Son.
We have family in the nature of God.
John chapter 17 verse 4 says, the words of Jesus Christ,
I have glorified thee on the earth.
I have finished the work which thou gave us me to do.
And now, oh Father, glorify thou me with thine own self,
with the glory which I had with thee before the world was.
Wow.
So even before God created the world,
even before God created Adam and Eve,
before God created marriage in that family,
before He even instructed Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply,
before we had a weak single family, God already had a family.
God existed as a family, Father and Son,
and this glory existed even before the world was.
And of course, you know, we think about the most famous verse in the Bible,
John 3 16.
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son,
that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish,
but have everlasting life.
The Father sends His Son to die on the cross,
to die for the sins of all man.
So what a great sacrifice for the Father to give up His own Son.
And sometimes we tend to sort of forget about this,
that family is within the nature of God.
So when God created family in this earth, it's not some brand new idea,
it was really part of who He was.
You know, even within the Godhead, within the nature of God,
we see authority.
The Father has authority over the Son and over the Holy Ghost.
And of course, within family, God creates that authority as well.
He's created the man, the husband to be the head of the wife,
to be the leader of his family,
for children to be subject under their father and their mother.
And again, this makes up who God is.
And if we think about God being our rock,
God being our source of stability and strength and identity,
yes, He's our creator, and we've been created for Him.
And within Him, it's so important that there is family,
then how important is our family then?
You know, our family is so important.
We live in a society and a generation that devalues families,
that doesn't uplift marriages.
You know, children are a burden, you know, it seems in our society.
You know, we're destroying what a family is.
And, you know, back in 2017, I believe it was when same sex marriage,
homosexual, reprobate, filthy, disgusting,
which isn't even marriage was allowed.
You know, we see our nation is trying to destroy the very fabric of families.
To have a strong nation, we must have strong families.
And to have a strong church, we must have strong families.
One thing that I have found in my journey as a pastor,
as I speak to different people,
I often find people trying to find a sense of identity, you know,
and they might try to find that identity amongst friends.
You know, we again, because sitting in such a migrant community,
I grew up in a place where there's a lot of Asians,
a lot of people from Laos and Thailand and Cambodia,
sort of in my sort of where I grew up.
And many times these people migrated to Australia illegally,
and they didn't migrate with their entire families.
You have a lot of young people that would come to the country
without mother and father, and then they would form gangs, you know,
and they would consider their gang to be that family, you know,
that they're trying to find identity.
Unfortunately, when you get a whole bunch of young people together
with no mother and father, they end up doing a lot of
criminal activity as it is, you know,
and but the point is, a lot of people trying to find family.
I find a lot of people that are just trying to find where they belong,
it's because they've not had a strong sound family that they grew up in.
And, you know, many times people are trying to find approval from their parents,
even into adulthood, they're trying to find approval,
especially from from dad, you know, that I'm trying to find approval
and they're grown up adults, and they might even be successful as adults,
but they just they can't get their approval,
they never got their approval from their father growing up,
they grew up without a father, and they're still trying to find that approval.
Sometimes people try to find that approval from their pastor,
because they think their pastor is they in their mind,
they think their pastor is going to replace their father figure,
but that's not the case, I'm never going to replace a father figure.
In fact, Jesus Christ said, call no man father, okay?
Because there is only one father, of course,
that father being your father in heaven.
You know, the Bible also says in 1 John 2 23,
whosoever deny of the son, the same have not the father,
but he that acknowledge of the son, have the father also.
Family is so important to God, that if you're not going to acknowledge your son,
you don't have the father, you know, if you mistreat my kids,
I don't want anything to do with you, right?
If you don't acknowledge Jesus Christ and his sacrifice,
his deliverance of sins, all the suffering he went through for you,
then why would the father want anything to do with you?
If you reject the son, family is so important.
And you know, generally speaking, as a Christian,
if you're, you know, you're a saved person, you're generally speaking,
you're going to experience being part of free families,
free families in your lifetime, part of free families in your lifetime.
As I said to you, you know, when we had the lockdowns here in Sydney,
the 12 LGAs are concerned with family orientated LGAs.
So someone would catch the virus, they would go home,
there'd be a large family, husband and wives, children, right,
lot more amounts of children.
So it looked like COVID is out of control in these LGAs concern,
looks like, you know, they're trying to picture like, you know,
these places are just filthy, you know, sickly places.
No, it's just family.
You know, when my family gets a cold or flu,
it takes a long time to get through.
We could go weeks, we could even go months
trying to get that virus out of our system.
Not because we're filthy people, it's just we're a big family.
It takes time for the virus to work its way through.
You know, I remember people would often say,
man, your family is always sick.
Not really, it's probably as sick as anyone else.
We get the one flu once a year, roughly, right?
It just looks like it takes a long time
because it goes through so many people.
I'm sure, you know, the Mishals, for example,
will understand that, you know, when you have the larger family,
it takes a while to get through the sickness.
And that's the situation.
You know, a lot of families were locked down
and then you weren't allowed to visit, you know,
grandparents weren't allowed to see grandkids.
And again, because we live in these western,
southwestern suburbs where family is important,
many people are like, you know what,
forget these health orders.
My grandchildren are going to see the grandparents,
you know, and families are visiting each other
even though it's outside of health orders.
Why?
Because they value family above the health orders
that have been passed down, you know, by the government,
being passed down by Gladys Berejiklian,
who so-called grew up in a migrant family.
She should understand the importance of family,
but she sacrificed family, she never got married,
she's never had kids, sacrificed family for her career.
You know, and how can a career woman like that
who does not value family understand
the health orders that she passes?
How does she understand how it's going to affect
the families in Sydney?
Same thing in Queensland, Anastasia Palijay,
divorced, no kids, how is she going to understand,
you know, the orders that she passes down,
how is she going to understand the effect
that's going to have on the families?
You know, these people are not suited to be politicians,
you know, number one, they're ladies,
they shouldn't be in that role in the first place,
but number two, if they haven't got families,
how are they going to know the laws they pass,
how are they going to understand what effect
that's going to have, you know, upon families?
And so, as I said, families are so important.
I was doing a lot of research for this sermon,
just a little reading a lot of articles
about the importance of families,
and I'll just share with some of the things
that I read, some articles I read online.
So what are some advantages to having
a strong, loving family?
You know, we're looking right now at the family
of your birth, we're all born into a family,
you know, and if you grow up,
if you're born into a strong and loving family,
mums loves the children, dad loves the children,
they're spending time together, husband loves the wives
and wives love their husbands, what happens?
Number one, it improves mental health,
it improves mental health.
Number two, it helps children perform well academically.
Number three, it lowers risk of behavioral problems.
Number four, it boosts self-confidence.
Number five, it helps kids learn future parenting skills.
I mean, that makes sense.
They grew up in a loving family,
they see that relationship between father and children,
and then they're able to learn from that
and pass that on to their own children.
Sorry, point number six,
it teaches effective conflict resolution, yeah?
Because when you're a family and you have conflicts,
you can't just run away from the conflict,
you've got to deal with it, you're living together,
you've got to deal with the conflicts.
And so that helps you, you know,
when you're having to deal with conflicts
outside of your family.
Number seven, it reduces stress.
Number eight, it promotes adaptability and resilience.
So there's just that strength that someone has
growing up in a family.
Some people think that if I grew up without a family,
and I kind of just grew up on the streets
and I grew up on my own,
then I'm going to really be resilient and strong.
No, that's just a front.
You know, you build up this wall
to appear to be a strong person,
but inwardly, you're very weak.
That's why families are so important.
Number nine, it enhances physical health.
Number 10, it lengthens life expectancy.
There's a lot of advantages.
Again, these are just secular articles.
I'm not reading anything Christian here,
but I'm reading secular articles
about the importance of family.
And I think even these days,
probably the internet's trying to withhold
some of this information, right?
Because it's contrary to the narrative
that people want people, you know,
society is trying to destroy families.
Makes sense.
People are trying to destroy families.
And so growing up in your,
the family that you grow up in,
that you're born into is so important
for your general wellbeing.
You know, your general mental health,
your strength, your success in life,
your acceptance, right?
If you're accepted within a family,
you know your mom and dad loves you
and they approve of you.
You're not going to be looking
for acceptance elsewhere, right?
You're going to have the confidence
to be able to accomplish different tasks.
And we're talking generally speaking, right?
Of course, there are exceptions to the rule here,
but you know, if you grow up in a loving
and strong family, you've got a lot more advantages
than obviously someone that grows up
in a broken home, okay?
And I'll just read to you just a paragraph here
about the disadvantages to children
in a broken or loveless marriage.
A broken home where maybe mom and dad are divorced
or there's just no love.
Yeah, they're living together.
Mom and dad are living together,
but then there's a lot of cases of physical abuse.
You know, just obviously dad does not love mom
and mom hates dad or whatever, right?
Or in that environment, I'll just read this article.
It says, children in families,
whether parents have broken or loveless marriages
are more prone to depression and emotional disorders.
Not only do they grow up having a disturbed mindset,
their opinion on almost everything is extremely negative.
They also have major trust issues to the extent
that they can't even trust their own parents.
So notice that, you know, that growing up in a broken
or loveless marriage causes you to be, what does it say?
Almost, their opinion on almost everything
is extremely negative.
Wow, okay?
Imagine living your whole life
and not being able to really enjoy life.
You know, just everything,
you find everything wrong with everything, right?
You're constantly negative.
You're constantly critical.
You don't look on the bright side.
You're not positive minded.
You know, you're just gonna drain yourself
and you're gonna have to drain the people around you.
And again, we don't really have control of this, do we?
You know, I've been blessed to grow up in a Christian home,
but many of you have not.
Many of you have grown up in a broken home
and you can probably look at what I'm saying
and you can acknowledge, yeah, you know,
not growing up in a strong loving family
has caused me to have struggles that I have today.
And I feel sorry for that.
You know, that's not God's plan.
God's plan was one man, one woman for life.
One flesh is what Adam said, one flesh.
And that's something that we need to remember
when we are in a marriage, when we're in a family,
you know, as husband and wife, you are one flesh.
You're no longer two independent people, you know,
just living under the same roof.
You're one flesh.
You know, when we look at God, the son, God, the father,
our family there, we look at them and say,
that's one God, there's one God there.
You know, when a family gives you that stability,
that sense of belonging, and it's critical
because we're working through the perfect man series,
aren't we?
The perfect man.
And we wanna, what does perfect mean?
Once again, it means to be complete, to be whole.
And again, one of God's main methods to have somebody
complete and whole is to grow up in a family unit
where mom and dad love each other
and the kids are being raised in a place of acceptance
and love.
That's so critical.
You miss that part of your life,
you're gonna have major consequences.
You know, there's a reason why in the Bible
quite often we'll find where we're in Israel,
you might find, you know, the generation is wicked
and God says that, you know, that sin would be basically
seen out throughout the third and fourth generation
because how badly we mess up in life has lasting effects
on the generations that follow.
You know, parents, you really mess up your life today.
You're gonna have major effects on your children.
It's so important that we consider the family.
But here's the thing.
You know, God still promises, even if you grow up
in a broken home, you know, as children,
we're still given the commandment.
I'll just read it to you in Ephesians.
Actually, you can turn there.
Please turn there.
Turn to Ephesians 6 because I've got some other references
in Ephesians for you to read as well.
Turn to Ephesians 6 verse number one.
Ephesians 6 verse number one.
Ephesians 6 one reads, children, obey your parents
in the Lord for this is right.
You know, this applies whether you grow up in a strong,
loving family or whether you grow up in a broken home.
Maybe you got mom in one place, dad somewhere else.
You still require children to obey your parents
in the Lord for this is right.
The best thing a child can do, even a broken home situation,
is just to obey what God says.
You say, but what if they're giving me, you know,
not the best advice?
Just look, just obey them because if you obey them,
God's gonna look down upon you and he's going to be merciful.
He's going to bless you.
This is so important to God that children obey their parents
because again, Christ obey his father.
Christ gave up his will to follow the will of the father.
It keeps going in verse number two,
honor thy father and mother,
which is the first commandment we've promised
that it may be well with thee,
that thou mayest live long on the earth.
Now, do we believe that, brethren?
Again, you know, I've preached this in the past
to the families in our church and generally speaking,
our families are together.
You know, we've got mom and dad together.
We have children under that umbrella, generally speaking.
And once again, but again,
this plays into whichever family you're in.
You know, please, as children, don't say,
well, I wish I had a better family.
I wish mom and dad loved each other even more.
You know what?
Just leave that in their hands.
Leave that in God's hands.
Pray to God and pray for your mom and dad if that's a problem.
But children, you obey your parents regardless, okay?
You know, you obey your parents and God gives you the promise
that things are whatsoever,
think that it may be well with thee,
that that may live long on the earth.
You know, what's the problem with the broken homes
that we saw in secular society?
That these children grow up with depression
and, you know, that negative mindset.
Well, if those children, you know,
learn to just obey mom and dad as best as they know how
under God's umbrella, God's gonna look after them,
look down upon them and make sure that their life goes better
than it would have been otherwise
if they just grew up as rebellious teenagers, you know?
Now, obviously, we've been a family.
Please go to Ephesians chapter five.
Ephesians chapter five verse number 23.
Ephesians chapter five and verse number 23.
Within a family, we have authority.
We have a head, okay?
And it says,
for the husband is the head of the wife,
even as Christ is the head of the church
and he is the savior of the body.
Could we imagine church without Jesus Christ?
I mean, what would we be?
We would just be like a cult.
We'd just be like these weirdos
meeting up on a Sunday at 9 a.m., right?
Speaking about, you know, well,
let's just remove Jesus from the equation
completely for a moment.
I mean, what's church gonna be like?
I don't want to be there.
Do you want to be there at a place
where Jesus Christ is not the head of the church?
Or husbands, you know what?
Just as important as Christ is to be the head of the church,
that's just how important it is for you
to be the head of your family.
As much as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it
is as much as you ought to love your wives
and give yourself for her.
You know, God has given you your family, men.
This is so important.
This is what, you know,
this is the most important institution
that God has given you, okay?
Please look after it.
Please make sure that you love it
and that you understand that having a strong family
is going to ensure that my children grow up
to have the most success they can in their lives.
Teaching my children to be obedient to their parents,
disciplined when they're not obedient.
It's so important to make sure that things go well with them,
that God looks out upon them
and gives them a happy and long life.
You know, your wife, she, you know,
she wants to submit herself to you.
She wants stability.
She wants authority.
She wants a leader.
Be that leader.
Sometimes you do have to be a little bit tough
but make sure it's tough love.
Make sure your wife knows that you love her.
You know, even if you have to put the foot down sometimes.
Men, you know, this is your role.
You need to take hold of this.
I don't care what the Aussie culture is.
I don't care what the Queensland culture is.
You look at the culture that God has put down in family,
how important it is.
And you say, boy, this is so important.
I need to make sure this family stays strong.
Don't let that word divorce ever come out of your mouth.
Don't even think about it.
Don't even let it come out of your mouth, okay?
Because if it comes out of your mouth,
then you're going to repay yourself for divorce.
No, till death do us part.
These children, God has given you,
the children are a blessing, right?
They're the inheritance of the Lord.
The fruit of the womb is his reward, the Bible says.
Can you please go back to Ephesians 6?
Go back to Ephesians 6 and verse number 4.
Ephesians 6 and verse number 4.
Fathers, don't blame your wives.
Don't blame your children.
You know, this is your responsibility, okay?
The church is a responsibility of Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ says, I will build my church.
It's not my job to build the church, brethren.
I'm the pastor, but I'm not here to build the church.
I'm here to just obey what Christ wants in his house.
You know, that's our role to obey what Christ wants
in the house of God.
He builds the church in due time, how he sees fit.
You know, fathers, we can't blame our wives
and blame our kids.
You're the head.
You're building that family.
You're building that house.
The Bible says in Ephesians 6, 4,
and new fathers, provoke not your children to wrath,
but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Sometimes fathers think, well, that's my wife's job.
I'm giving my wife the role to bring up the children.
Yeah, you know what?
Yeah, your wife is, your mom's gonna be with the children
more often because you tend to have to go to work or whatever.
You might be away from the home,
but that doesn't neglect your responsibility to bring them up.
You've got to raise your children as well.
You've got to get together with your wife and say,
honey, how are we going to look after our family?
How are we going to raise our family?
What rules are we going to have?
It's not, hey, let's go to the pastor and work out what rules,
you know, should we develop?
Hey, let's go to this family that seems to have it all together.
Let's ask them how to discipline.
No, husband and wife, you're one flesh.
You come together and say, this is our family.
God has given us his family and we need to make sure
that we build this house strong, a loving and strong family.
And you're part of the raising of the children
in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
So fathers, you're the head.
You've got responsibility in all these areas.
You can't just say, well, that's my wife's responsibility.
And she's failing.
If your wife is failing, you're failing.
Okay, because you're the head, right?
You're the head.
Just another article that I read about broken homes,
or actually not so much broken.
Well, it is broken homes, but children grow up fatherless without fathers.
Okay, I'll just quickly read you this article.
It says children from fatherless homes are more likely to be poor,
become involved in drug and alcohol abuse, drop out of school,
and suffer from health and emotional problems.
Boys are more likely to become involved in crime
and girls are more likely to become pregnant as teens.
Okay, so, I mean, I'm just reading different articles
and I read so much.
And they're all saying the same thing in just in different ways.
And so, you know, fathers like mothers,
I'll keep it in the article.
Fathers like mothers are pillars in the development
of a child's emotional well-being.
This is a secular source.
This is a source that's not Christian.
Okay, they do not uphold the name of Christ,
but they've done the research.
They've done the study.
There are so many families.
This has been going on for generations.
It's clear that fathers like mothers are pillars
in the development of a child's emotional well-being.
You know, how evil it is that when moms and dads both go to work
and they take their children and dump them in a child care center.
Okay, or you say, well, it's even better to dump them with the grandparents.
Yes, but the grandparents aren't their father and mother.
Okay, moms and dad need to be there to raise and develop a child
for the emotional well-being.
It says, keeps going, children look to their fathers
to lay down the rules and enforce them.
Wow, you know, children look at the father and say,
yeah, you're the enforcer of the rules.
They expect that.
They might not like it, but that's what they expect.
They also look to their fathers to provide a feeling of security,
both physical and emotional.
Children want to make their fathers proud
and an involved father promotes inner growth and strength.
Studies have shown that when fathers are affectionate
and supportive, it greatly affects a child's cognitive
and social development.
It also instills an overall sense of well-being and self-confidence.
You want the best for your kids.
It's not about how great of an education they can make
or they can have or how much money they can make.
The best thing you can do for your kids' fathers
is to be there for your children.
Support them, you know, encourage them, affirm them,
tell them that, hey, you're my children and I love you.
You know, and for fathers that have girls, you know,
tell your daughters, you know what, I'm going to provide for you.
I'm going to support you to the day that I hand you over to another man.
You know, give your girls a sense of security.
We don't want our daughters running around looking for some boyfriend
to give them, you know, some level of strength
or some level of, you know, legitimacy or whatever, right?
Emotional support.
No, fathers, that's your job, you know, to raise your daughters
and make them know that you love them.
You look after them till the day they get married.
And so this is the family that we are born into.
You know, this is what God has given us
and we don't have much of a choice.
We don't, we're not much of a choice.
We have no choice as to what family we're born into, you know.
And you may grow up, you know, you may have grown up in a broken home
and, you know, your parents might have grown up in a broken home.
That's another thing that's very consistent, right?
Generally speaking, the broken home results from a broken home,
results from a broken home, results from a broken home.
Just like we see in the Bible where sin can apply
to the third and fourth generation many times.
The effects, the lasting effects can be that way.
But, you know, you have no choice there.
You have no choice in the matter, but you do have a choice
into what family you do get married into.
And so now we're looking at the second family.
The second family that we generally have as a Christian
is the family that you get married into, okay?
The family that you get married into.
Now here's an advantage.
If you grew up in a broken home, you don't have the advantage of saying,
look, my dad failed me, you know, my mom failed me, you know,
my family's broken, I don't get along with my siblings, they hate me.
I don't know what your situation is.
Things can get pretty bad, right?
Some people might say, I don't even know who my father is, you know,
and things can be pretty bad for some children, all right?
But here's a decision you have to make.
At some point you say, you know what, we're gonna stop this now.
You know, I'm gonna make sure the family that I go into in marriage,
you know, that I've learned from the mistakes of the past,
you know, that I make sure that this time we're gonna have a loving family,
we're gonna stay together, even when things get hard and challenging,
divorce is not gonna come out of my mouth.
You know, I'm not going to, once I say I do, that's my partner for life.
Men, I'm not going to look at some other woman anymore,
I'm just gonna look at my wife, my wife is number one,
and girls, I'm not going to look at other men anymore,
my husband is number one, right?
I'm not gonna get together with my girlfriends
and talk about how handsome some Hollywood actor is, all right?
That's just, you want to destroy your marriage,
destroy your family, then you go ahead and do that, okay?
They need to make a decision, you know what, no.
I'm gonna start a new family, I couldn't do anything with the past,
I was born into that family, nothing I can do about it,
you know, hopefully you're born into a strong family, I don't know.
But listen, if you grow up in a bad family, you can't do anything about it,
but you can definitely make a new family.
You can definitely say, I'm going to make changes.
And it's sad, you know, again, I talk to people,
I have family, extended family that I know,
and which grew up in a broken home situation,
grew up in a fatherless situation,
and they say, I'm not going to make the same mistakes as my father,
they get married or whatever, and they make the same mistakes.
They get divorced in the end, right?
They make sure that, you know,
their children grew up in a fatherless family, and that's a sad thing.
But you know what, we're Christians, we're saved now, aren't we?
All right, let's say you're not saved.
Let's say you're not married right now, you're a young person,
and you grew up in a home,
and you realize all the problems that your family has.
You need to make a decision right now,
when I start my family, when I get married,
we're going to fix those mistakes.
I'm going to make sure that my children
don't grow up in the same struggles that I grew up in.
You can make a change.
Because if you don't make a change, it's going to affect your children,
and how your children then expect to go to make that change.
Okay, if you have a strong loving family,
the results are that your children are most likely
going to have a strong loving marriage as well.
Strong loving family as well.
And they're going to have that sense of identity.
They're going to have that stability in life,
that they can then use to build and become something greater,
and do great works for the Lord,
because they're not looking for that anymore, anywhere else.
They've got the stability, the strength, the acceptance within their family,
their identity, you know.
Please find the identity, your identity in your family.
Okay, find identity in your family.
Once again, Genesis 2 23, and Adam said,
This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.
She shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man.
Now, then he says this in verse number 24,
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother,
and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh.
You see, when you get married, you're now a part of a new family.
You leave father and mother, all right.
Once you're married, your spouse, that is your family.
If someone says to you, who is your family?
You say my wife, you say my husband, you say my wife and my children,
you say my husband and my children.
When you're married, you don't say, Oh, my parents, that's my family.
No, you've left father and mother, you've started a new family.
This is how God wants us to operate.
He always wants us to operate within family.
You're born into a family, and then you leave that family when you get married.
Okay, now you should love your mom and dad still, then your extended family.
But you understand that, hey, now my husband, that's my family.
Okay, everyone else, my siblings, my parents, their extended family.
Okay, but my family that I need to prioritize,
the family that I now need to find identity in,
is this brand new family that has been entered in by a wedding, by marriage.
Okay.
And this is so important because sometimes, you know,
the in-laws can feel like they need to interfere
in their lives with their children once they've been married.
You know, all you're going to do is destroy the marriage, that's all.
You're just going to reduce, you're going to limit their ability
to find strength, identity and stability in their marriage.
You know, when someone, when people enter a new marriage,
of course, there's going to be challenges.
They're becoming one flesh.
They're trying to work each other out.
They're trying to find their place.
They're trying to build their family.
They don't need interference.
Interference just does not help them.
Okay, interference just enables them to have a worse marriage,
to have it harder or to think they can just run to their previous family
when they have a fight with their spouse.
That should not be the case.
You have a fight with your spouse, you need to figure out, work it out with your spouse.
You're one flesh.
Okay, you're one body, you're one flesh.
You break that apart, you're going to destroy your life.
And so it is so important now.
Again, divorce is not something that ought to come out of your mouth.
And children, you know, young people, you know, people that if you're single
and you're not married, make sure you understand this.
When you get married, you're no longer part of the family you were born to.
You're now part of this family.
And this is going to be your family for the rest of your life.
And if you're married right now, you need to look at your spouse and your children say,
this is my family for the rest of my life.
Don't think, oh, man, I could have made a better decision.
I should have married someone else.
No, it's too late.
Okay, those are foolish thoughts.
They're wicked thoughts.
They're simple thoughts.
Forget about it.
Okay, once you've said I do, this is it.
This is your family.
Okay, and so you better make the most of it.
You don't want to have a terrible family because now this is going to be the case for the rest
of your life.
Okay, you want to make sure that you keep it together.
Now, if this is going to be your family for the rest of your life, don't you understand
now how important it is that we make the right decision for our life partner, that we make
the right decision.
Okay, and you know, I want to talk to the girls right now.
So the young ladies, you know, in you, within you, doesn't matter what society says, you're
going to desire to get married, you're going to desire to have children.
Okay, and I looked up a secular once again, another secular article as to what is it that
girls look for in a man?
What is it they look for in a husband?
Okay, and again, taken from secular sources, not Christian people, and yet it surprised
me just how Christian it is, or what they're looking for, like what kind of attributes
they're looking for, how biblical it is.
And so I've just got the top 10 things that a woman looks for in a man.
And you know what, in the top 10, it wasn't even his appearance.
Okay, it wasn't even his good looks within the top 10.
But within the top 10, again, secular source, what women look for in a husband.
I'm going to go from number 10.
In 10th place, it said a good financial prospect, a good financial prospect.
So she knows this man, he works, he's saved up, he can provide, he can look after me.
You know, I can safely move away from the protection of my father, because this man
is capable and has shown himself to be someone that is able to work and provide for my needs.
Number nine, she's looking for a man with good health.
Okay, why is that so important?
So that's the good looks, not necessarily, okay.
She wants a man with good health, because she wants to make sure that he's going to
live a long time.
She's putting herself under the authority of this new man, the protectionist new man.
She wants to make sure this guy is going to be there for a while.
Okay, there's got to be looking after her for a while, right?
She's not looking for someone that might be overly, you know, obese and has not taken
care of himself, because then she's not gonna have the confidence that he's going to be
around to look after her all the days of her life.
Number eight, she's looking for someone that is ambitious or industrious.
Ambitious or industrious.
She wants her husband to be a leader.
She wants her husband to go and do and accomplish things, because she wants to be that help
to him.
Listen, I guess the Bible says that, you know, the woman's created to be a help, meat for
her husband.
But even secular sources say this, even the science, even the research says this from
secular sources.
Why?
Because it's within the DNA, it's within the makeup, it's within the, you know, the inner
man that knows this is what I need in order to have a life partner.
You know, we don't need the Bible to tell us these things.
The world knows God has written his laws in the heart of every man.
And so a woman wants a man who's actually achieving, productive, right, has, you know,
good ideas.
He's able to better himself.
And of course, by bettering himself, he's going to better his family.
Number seven, she's looking for a pleasing disposition, a pleasing disposition.
This means that, hey, when they spend time together, that he lifts her up.
Here's her emotional strength.
You know, here's that rock that she can, you know, when she's, you know, ladies generally
are more emotional.
When she's sad and burdened, she wants to be able to turn to her husband and be encouraged.
And she doesn't want to turn to her husband who's also crying and depressed and down in
his dumps.
And the husband's going to the wife, you know, can you be my strength?
No, the wife is looking for the husband to be that emotional strength.
You know, Christ is the head of the church.
You know, as a church, we look to Christ to be our rock and emotional strength.
You know, Christ does not turn to the church to look for his emotional strength.
No, right?
Husbands, you're the head, right?
You're the leader.
This is what God's created you to be.
You can be this person.
You should be this person.
It's within your makeup.
The next thing she looks for is number six, social, sociability.
So that the husband is interested in her, all right?
It's not like, okay, we're married, you know, all right, we've had a bunch of kids.
All right, honey, now I'm going to hang out with the boys, right?
No, she wants to hang out with him.
You know, they want to spend time together.
You know, one reason that a lot of people get divorced in marriages is they've had the
kids, the kids grow up, they leave the home, and then husbands and wife have nothing in
common, just nothing in common.
It's like they just, they stuck together for the kids' sake.
Once the kids are gone, it's like, well, I don't even know who you are anymore.
You know, it's been 20 years, it's been 30 years, I don't even know who you are.
And they get divorced and try to find partners elsewhere.
That's not how it should be, right?
The husbands and wives should spend time together.
You know, if you don't, husbands, if you don't spend time going on a date with your wife,
please do so.
Please lock in.
You know, I take my wife out on a date once a month, okay?
At least, at least once a month.
And I do it, you know, because I just want to make sure that we spend time alone together,
talking, you know, enjoy each other's company.
This is something that wives or, sorry, women are looking for in a husband.
The fifth thing she's looking for is education or intelligence, right?
She wants somebody that knows so she can learn from him.
You know, as the husbands, we're also spiritual leaders of the Word of God.
We should know the Word of God well enough so we can go to our wives
and also teach them what God's Word says.
The fourth thing she's looking for.
So this is the, sorry, this is the fourth most important thing, okay?
Now we're up to the top four.
And again, this is the secular world.
This is a world that says to women, don't have kids, you know, go and have a career
because that's where you're going to be fulfilled.
No, even in the secular world, the fourth most important thing that they look for in a husband
is a desire for home and children.
Can you believe it?
I don't believe it.
But this is what it says.
These are the second articles, right?
A desire for home and children because, in fact, I do believe it because God says
this is why he created man and woman, okay?
She wants a man that's going to be a family man.
She wants a man that will give her the children that she naturally desires, okay?
Number three, the third most important thing is emotional stability and maturity, okay?
Emotional stability and maturity.
The second thing that's most important to her.
The second most important thing to her is a dependable character.
Dependable character.
You know, my husband says, does what he says he's going to do, right?
And the number one thing that a woman is looking for in a man is love.
That makes sense.
Husbands love your wives.
That's what the Bible says.
She's looking for love.
She's looking for someone to appreciate her for who she is, all right?
For, you know, every day of her life, not just to appreciate her good looks when she's young
because those good looks, they're going to go away.
She's going to get older.
She's going to have kids, right?
She wants love.
You know what?
And love is the most important thing.
Husbands love your wives.
That's one of the great commandments that God gives to the husbands.
This is priority number one for the ladies.
And so for the single girls, if you're looking for a man,
these are the qualities that you should be looking for.
You know, I agree with this secular, I agree.
I agree with this secular research here.
This is what you should be looking for.
And if you're a single man, you're a young man, you want to get married one day,
these are things you should be aiming for.
I mean, this is all excellent.
These are things that you should be aiming for in life.
To be that strong man, that guy that has, you know, is able to lead his home,
he's able to give his wife identity and stability
and give his children identity and stability in that new marriage as well.
The Bible says in Malachi 2 15.
And did not he make one?
Why did God make one?
One flesh.
Yet had he the residue of the spirit and wherefore one?
Why one?
That he might seek a godly seed.
Therefore, take heed to your spirit and let none deal treacherously
against the wife of his youth.
God wants you, husbands and ladies, to get married and to raise a godly seed.
To have children that love the Lord.
Thank you for those that come to church and bring your children to church.
Not thank you for me, but thank you because this is the goal.
We want a godly seed.
That's what God wants in life.
God wants a godly generation.
As society is getting worse and worse and worse,
how important are our children for the future?
How important are children to live godly lives that love the Lord,
that love the King of God and will see souls saved?
I believe our kids will see many souls saved in a lifetime.
Maybe more than what we've ever seen.
You know, we just work hard there on the Sunshine Coast.
I know it's tough ground.
I know it's tough going, right?
We need to just plow that ground.
Plow it, plow it, plow it.
And hopefully, you know, yes, we get some fruits.
We see some increase.
We see souls saved.
But I really hope that our children are able to benefit from the plowing
that we do on the Sunshine Coast.
That they will see the watering,
that they would see the reaping develop on the Sunshine Coast.
And maybe we can change the Sunshine Coast.
Maybe we can't change the world necessarily.
The world's going down the toilet.
But maybe we can do something for the Sunshine Coast.
You know, raise a godly seed that will be beneficial to that society.
And so you need to make sure you make the right decision
about who you're going to marry.
This is the person that you're going to spend the rest of your life with.
This is the person that you want to make sure you don't make the same mistakes
that you're the family you were born to make.
Okay, you want to get things right.
And make sure that you marry a believer.
You make sure that you marry a man that is proven to love and provide.
You know, this is a man that you're saying
that I'm going to be willing to submit myself on this man.
What he says goes.
His decisions, I'm going to back them.
Okay, be ready to say that.
You know, if you're ready to leave mom and dad,
you're saying I'm ready to submit myself on this man.
Is that a man that you're ready to submit yourself under?
Okay, and once again, divorce is not an option.
Divorce is not an option.
Don't prepare yourself for divorce.
Ladies, don't prepare yourself for divorce.
You know, in my workplace, I used to work in a city
and I had one team that was a call center team.
As you're probably familiar with in a call center,
you're gonna have a lot of ladies.
And those ladies would work and they'd have families.
They had kids and I see them struggle.
Sometimes they'd come up to me.
Oh, can I leave work early?
I've got to pick up my kids at school.
My husband can't do it this time.
They're trying to balance this work family type.
And I'd say to the ladies because they'd see me.
They'd see me working and they'd ask my wife with many kids.
What does she do for work?
I say she's mom.
That's her job.
She's mom.
She's raising the children.
And they're like, I wish I could do that.
And I say things like, you know, well, I mean, why are you working?
Why aren't you with your kids then?
Like, instead of you having to stress every day,
who's going to pick up the kids?
What, you know, where are the kids going to go after school?
Well, instead of having to stress every single day,
why don't you just spend time with your kids?
I'm not trying to get rid of my employees,
but hey, I'd be happy for them if they left work
just to raise their children, right?
And they'd often say, well, I work, number one,
because we've got great debts
and my husband can't afford on his own.
Well, that's a problem.
Husband should not have put himself in that position
in the first place.
But secondly, many times, the second answer would be basically,
just in case my husband becomes a bum and stops working,
I want to make sure that I have some skills
so I can look after my family.
Or just in case my husband leaves me,
then I want to make sure that I can at least look after my kids.
You know, when ladies say that to me,
they're basically saying, I'm getting ready for divorce.
The reason I come to work is because I'm getting prepared for divorce.
You know, in case he leaves, I got a job.
Okay, well, if you prepare for divorce, you're going to get divorced.
Whatever you prepare for, that's what's going to happen.
You prepare to be a sole winner, you'll be a sole winner.
You prepare to get divorced, you'll get divorced.
That's just how it is, okay?
You say, Pastor Kevin, are you against ladies working?
Yes or no?
Okay, number one, men should be the one working,
they should be providing.
When God cursed the ground, he cursed man,
man wants to be the one that sweats and works hard, right?
Six days that shut our labor.
That's the commandment of God, men should work six days.
We went to work six days, rather than work five days
and send their wives to work one day.
Hey, men, go work six days.
Don't take on a second job if you have to, okay?
If that's what you need to do to provide.
That's your job.
That's going to give you fulfillment and joy.
Let your wives stay home.
Be the help in the household.
Be the ones that raise the children.
But at the same time, I'm not against some girls maybe going out for work.
My daughter's 16 now, and when we get to the Sunshine Coast,
we're kind of thinking, hey, while she continues to study,
maybe she can have a job on the side.
Say, why is she getting prepared for divorce?
No, the reason she would go get a job is to be a help now to her husband.
So the time comes when she does get married,
then she does have a bit of savings that she can put that together with her husband.
They become one flesh and they can start their marriage stronger
in a better financial position than otherwise, okay?
So I'm not completely against a lady going to work
as long as it's for the right reason.
To help her husband before she gets married, okay?
To, you know, help that family get their feet together,
you know, get themselves established, all right?
But I'm not for, you know, wives going to work, all right?
I would much rather work a second job if I had to
than have to send my wife out to earn a paycheck, okay?
So if you prepare for divorce, you will get divorced, all right?
Now, if you're married and this is now your second family,
not the family you were born into, but you got married,
you need to look at your family.
I don't care what you think of them right now.
You look at your spouse, you look at your children and say,
this is my team for the rest of my life.
This is my team for the rest of my life.
You know, sometimes you might go to work
and you don't like the team that you work in.
And so you might leave your job and find another job.
You can't do that in marriage.
You can't do that in a family.
You have to make the family work.
Family is so important to God
that it is even a testing ground
for someone to become a pastor.
As you guys know, first Timothy 3.5,
for if a man know not how to rule his own house,
how shall he take care of the church of God?
You've got men, you've got to rule your house.
You've got to have authority.
You've got to be leading that family.
You've got to be leading that family
in love and stability and strength.
You know, in the ways of the Lord,
in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Men, that's what you have to do.
You know, you cannot be a perfect man.
You cannot be the perfect man.
You know, if you don't have your family together,
you know, you need to lead them.
I don't know if you're still in Ephesians.
Please go to Ephesians 3.14.
Please turn to Ephesians 3.14.
We're going to be looking at the third family now
that we can be part of, generally speaking,
the third family.
Because some of you, maybe you're later in your life,
and you might say, you know, Pastor Kevin,
the family I was born into was a mess.
The family that I married into, we're a mess,
and we can't fix it.
You know, it's all over the place.
And I can see within this sermon
that I do lack stability.
I do lack identity.
I do lack fulfillment in my life
because I can't figure out where I belong.
But this is the advantage of being a Christian
because in Ephesians 3.14, it says,
For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father
of our Lord Jesus Christ,
of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named.
If you're saved, you're part of a third family.
Amen.
You're part of the family of God.
The family of God.
You know, look around the church building.
That's your family.
You know, you've got God the Father and His Son,
the Lord Jesus Christ.
And your family, some of it is on the earth.
Again, you look around the building.
That's it.
You know, you find some other church that has believers.
That's your family as well.
Okay, anyone that is saved, anyone that has
caught upon them, Lord, is family.
You and I, we're family.
This is why we say to each other,
we're brothers and sisters.
You know, we're brethren.
We're part of the family of God.
And we also have family that's gone to be at home in heaven.
All the saints that we read about in the Bible,
that's our family.
That's our brothers and sisters.
And can you please turn to Matthew chapter 10?
Turn to Matthew chapter 10.
So if you can't find stability and family
in the life you were born in,
you can't find identity and stability
in the family you got married into.
Where you definitely can find identity and stability
is within the family of God.
Please turn to Matthew 10, 34.
And while you turn to Matthew 10,
I'm going to read to you from Mark 3, 32, which reads,
and the multitude sat about him, and they said unto him,
behold thy mother and thy brethren without seek for thee.
It's about Jesus Christ.
That someone's pointing out to Jesus,
your mom and your brothers and sisters
are looking for you.
Verse number 33, and he answered them saying,
who is my mother or my brethren?
And he looks round about them,
which said about him and said, behold,
my mother and my brethren,
for whosoever shall do the will of God,
the same is my brother and my sister and mother.
Boy, you know, look around.
This is, right?
This is my mother, my brethren.
Who is my mother and my brethren?
That's, it's New Life Baptist Church.
You're my mother.
You're my brethren, okay?
We are part of the family of God.
That's why it pains me
to not be able to get to Queensland just yet.
I miss my family.
I miss my family of God
that God has given us here on the Sunshine Coast.
You're in Matthew 10, 34, please.
Matthew 10, 34.
Please keep in mind for those of you
that have broken families.
You know, you're struggling to find identity
and purpose within the family you were born into
or even the family you married into.
Jesus Christ says in Matthew 10, 34,
think not that I am come to send peace on earth.
I came not to send peace, but a sword.
For I am come to set a man
at variance against his father
and the daughter against the mother
and the daughter-in-law
against the mother-in-law.
And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
He that loveth father or mother more than me
is not worthy of me.
And he that loveth son or daughter more than me
is not worthy of me.
What is he saying?
He's saying, hey, find your biological family
and just fight with them.
You know, no, no.
This is saying that basically if you come to Christ,
you know, if you say, Lord, you know what?
Lord, please save me.
I want to be part of the family of God.
I want to work in your kingdom.
I want to do the jobs that you've left me to do, Lord,
that your family, your earthly family that are unsaved,
they're not going to understand.
Hey, sometimes even saved families
do not understand your love and your passion
and your desire for the Lord.
And that can cause division within your own family.
Don't forget, we need to prioritize the family of God.
We need to prioritize the Lord God,
even above our own families.
But does the Lord God wants stability and love
stability and love within our own biological families?
Of course he does.
That's why he created these families, right?
But sometimes, as you know, you might be the only one
that's saving your family and your family
can easily turn against you, especially if your family
had a, you know, a fixed religion.
You know, for example, my wife,
she grew up in a strong Roman Catholic family
and for her to be saved was a big deal.
For her to believe in Jesus Christ
and understand the Roman Catholic Church is a dud,
it's a false religion, was a big deal for her family.
Some of you are in that situation
and your family may even turn against you.
Please turn to Matthew 19.
Matthew 19, verse 29.
Matthew 19, verse number 29.
Now, if you and your service for Jesus Christ
end up losing family, you know, they turn against you.
You know, it's not all at a loss.
It's sad, it shouldn't be the case,
but it's not all at a loss because in Matthew 19, 29,
it says, and everyone that have forsaken houses
or brethren or sisters or father or mother or wife
or children or lands for my name's sake
shall receive an hundredfold
and shall inherit everlasting life.
So in everlasting life, you're going to have a hundredfold.
You know, everything that we lose for Christ,
God's gonna reward us in heaven times 100.
You know, God wants us to understand
that we have a family, the family of God,
that God is our father, you know?
And through Jesus Christ, we become sons of God.
The Bible also says in Matthew 6, 9,
after this manner, therefore pray ye,
our father, which are in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
You see the father is not just Christ's father,
but God the father is our father.
And God wants us to go and pray to him.
I looked in the New Testament, I hope I'm right,
but I found 19 times that God is referred to as our father.
Okay, we have a heavenly father.
You know, your biological father may have failed you.
You know, maybe your stepfather has failed you.
Maybe you're lacking challenges in, you know,
you want your father's acceptance as we read it earlier.
Well, you can find acceptance and love in your heavenly father.
He can take the place of your earthly fathers
that have failed you.
He'll do you even better, okay?
He will always love you.
He will never forsake you.
The Bible also says in Matthew 6, 7,
but when ye pray, use not vain repetitions as they hear them do,
for they think that they shall be heard
for their much speaking.
But look, verse 8 says this,
be not ye therefore like unto them,
for your father knoweth what things ye have need of,
before ye ask of him.
You know, Reverend, in conclusion,
if you can't find stability and identity
in your earthly families, please go to God the father.
He is going to give you what you need.
He knows what you need before you even ask of him.
He's that interested in your life.
He wants to give you everything you need to be successful,
to be happy, to be complete.
Yes, to be the perfect man in this life.
Even if we fail in our earthly families,
don't forget that you're part of the family of God.
But listen, you've got a family, okay?
And we should strive in our earthly families
to make the best of what we have.
It's not going to be perfect.
We're all sinners.
We have a sin nature, okay?
I can't look back and look at the mistakes of my parents potentially
and say, well, you know, I'm going to just blame my parents for who I am.
We understand there's consequences to it.
But you know what?
We can change things.
We can fix things.
You know, I want to make sure that I prioritize my family first.
I prioritize my wife, my children.
I hope you understand how important my family is.
I've said it many times that if church gets in the way of my family,
if serving in the house of God creates a broken family situation for me,
I'm going to step down as the pastor.
Being a pastor and being part of the church is not the most important thing.
God has given me this biological family.
I'm the head of my house.
If my family fails, I failed.
If my family does not have lead in, I failed as a lead
to meet the qualifications to take on the office of a bishop.
And so, brethren, please don't forget, we're part of the family of God.
When you look around the church, we're brothers and sisters in the Lord.
Even when we don't get along, you know what?
Families don't get along.
But we're still commanded to love one another.
We're still commanded to understand that we can go to God for our needs and with our prayers.
So please think about this.
Please find your identity in your families.
Don't find your identity amongst your girlfriends or your boyfriends or boyfriends.
Okay, let me rephrase that.
Ladies with your girlfriends because they don't mind using that term.
And for the men with boys, don't look for identity amongst the boys.
You know, don't look for identity even amongst even in your job.
You know, look for it in your family, whether it's your biological family
or whether it is in your heavenly family, the family of God.
All right, let's pray.