Genesis 24 verse 1,
And Abraham was old and well-stricken in age,
and the LORD had blessed Abraham in all things.
And Abraham said unto his elder servant of his house,
that ruled over all that he had,
put I pray thee thy hand under my thigh,
and I will make thee swear by the LORD,
the God of heaven and the God of the earth,
that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son
of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell,
but thou shalt go unto my country and to my kindred,
and take a wife unto my son Isaac.
The title for the sermon is Finding a Spouse Part Two.
All right, now part one last week
was foundational to all of this.
There will be some overlap.
We did look at this story last week as well,
but I want to get a little bit deeper into this story,
and I believe we find a lot of great principles
on dating and marriage through this story.
What I want you to notice though that in Genesis 24,
let's read verse number four again,
but thou shalt go unto my country and to my kindred,
and take a girlfriend unto my son Isaac.
Is that what the Bible says?
No, it says, and take a wife unto my son Isaac.
And the reason I wanted to say, repeat that,
last week, the verse that we started with was this one
in Proverbs 18, 22,
Whoso findeth a, girlfriend?
No.
Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing,
and obtain a favor of the Lord.
And the point that I was trying to drive home here
is that when it comes to biblical dating,
when it comes to young people wanting companionship,
the purpose of biblical dating is to find a wife,
to find a spouse.
The world's concept of dating
is to just have the girlfriend and the boyfriend on the side
and having a physical relationship
without any major prospects or thoughts about married life.
When it comes to the Bible, it's very clear,
hey, that journey, that first, that journey to,
the desire to be with someone
is for the purpose of marriage.
And that changes the way we approach dating.
Because if you have the mindset, dating is for marriage,
then you're obviously not going to prepare
just to have a girlfriend.
You're not just gonna prepare to have a boyfriend.
You're gonna prepare before you start dating,
preparing for your marriage.
So it's very different the way you prepare yourself
for this situation.
Now, a disclaimer, before I keep preaching,
I've got five points for the young people in this church
to pay attention to.
Parents, you need to pay attention as well
and teach your children these things.
And the disclaimer is this,
that there are couples in this church,
there are individuals in this church singles
that have made mistakes, myself included.
When I look at these five points, I'm not perfect.
Some of you guys will say,
pastor, I messed up, I messed that up.
And you might get offended.
No, wrong.
If you've messed up, if you've made a mistake,
don't get offended by God's word.
This sermon is for the young people
that have not made those mistakes, all right?
So if you get offended, I messed up, you know what you do?
Instead of getting mad at the pastor,
you go to the young people and say, you know what?
Pastor was right, you listen to him.
Don't make the same mistakes that I made, okay?
So I'm not attacking those that have made the mistakes.
What we're doing is preaching to those
that have not yet made those mistakes.
Hopefully they'll never make those mistakes
because they're following through with what God teaches.
Okay?
Now, the passage that we left reading from last week
was this one, I'll just read it to you very quickly.
Proverbs 19, 14, houses and riches
are the inheritance of fathers
and a prudent wife is from the Lord.
A prudent wife is from the Lord.
And we looked at the word prudent is to be careful.
To be prudent is to be considering the future,
how my actions today affects my future.
And if you, as a young person, say, you know what?
I want companionship.
I want to start finding, you know,
somebody that I can spend the rest of my life with,
then you don't want to be thinking about today
or the date that you're necessarily just going out today.
You know, you're going to be thinking about marriage.
You're going to be thinking about family.
You're going to be thinking about children.
And then once again, you're going to be in that position,
making the best choices
because that's going to be best for your future.
That's what it means to be prudent, to be aware.
And these five points that I have for you,
yes, things that you can do today in your life to prepare
in consideration of the future,
in consideration of the consequences
that if you don't do this the right way,
it can really mess things up.
It can really damage things.
And when it comes to dating, you know,
it has an emotional effect on your heart
and the person that you're dating with, okay?
You have to understand, you know,
dating is not just this thing,
oh, we'll just go out for three months and see how it goes.
Six months, two years, we'll see how it goes.
And look, there's emotions, there's feelings, okay?
Any break in that relationship is going to cause hurt.
Why would you want to hurt unnecessarily, okay?
Why do you want to spend six months, two years of your life
wasted on emotional feelings towards someone
that you may potentially not marry?
So what was the point of it all?
So prudence, we need to be prudent in our decisions,
looking to the future, considering the consequences,
being careful when our young people begin to date.
All right, so we see this story here.
Abraham, old, well stricken in age.
He sends his servants, okay, and I said this is one way,
parents can give a nudge to your children,
send someone else to go and find someone, you know?
And again, you know, this wasn't arranged marriage.
Abraham said, look, if she wants to come with you,
if she doesn't want to, you know, that's up to her.
They asked, you know, they asked Rebecca,
do you want to go with him?
She says, yes, not arranged marriage.
These are decisions that these young couples
made for themselves.
But let's continue in the story, okay?
So the servant has been tasked to find Isaac a wife, okay?
Find Isaac a wife.
So what do we learn from this story?
What principles can we learn of dating
as we keep going through the story?
Let's start there in verse number 10, Genesis 24 verse 10.
And the servant took 10 camels
of the camels of his master and departed,
for all the goods of his master were in his hand,
and he arose and went to Mesopotamia unto the city of Naor.
And he made his camels to kneel down without the city
by a well of water at the time of the evening,
even the time that women go out to draw water.
So he's made the trek,
he's gone back to the land of Abraham,
he's a little bit weary, his camels are weary,
he stops by the well, all right?
And what does he do?
His mission is to find a wife for Isaac.
What's the first, I love the first thing he does.
In verse number 12, and he said,
O Lord God of my master Abraham,
I pray thee, send me good speed this day,
and show kindness unto my master Abraham.
What's the first thing that he does?
Praise, he goes to the Lord and say,
Lord, I've got a mission,
Lord, I've been asked to help Isaac find a wife,
Lord, please guide me, please be with me,
please, please, please help us accomplish this task.
I say young people, I don't care how young you are,
I don't care if you think, ah, marriage is far away.
The best thing you can be doing right now
to prepare for your spouse is to pray for them.
Pray that God will lead you,
pray that God will help you meet each other
at the right time.
Be praying for your spouse now.
Now, and parents, be praying for your son-in-law
or your daughter-in-law now,
even though you don't know who they are.
I shared with you last week that I would pray
for my wife-to-be before I knew Christina.
And you know what it developed in me?
When I would pray for someone that I did not know
that I knew I would love one day,
but I did not know her,
is that I grew to care and love Christina ahead of time.
Or whoever it was at that time,
you know, whoever it is for you.
But you start to already care and love that person.
You're already committing them to the Lord.
The Lord knows who they are.
The Lord knows who you're going to marry.
Okay, so leave it in his hands.
He knows exactly what's going on.
You don't know what's going on.
It's a bit of an adventure, a bit exciting,
a bit scary sometimes, but the Lord's not out of control.
He knows who that person's going to be,
that decision that you're going to make.
All right, so commit them to prayer right now.
Commit, you know, there's such an important aspect.
Probably the biggest decision you're going to make in life
is the person that you get married to, besides salvation.
Okay, but it's a major decision in life.
Why don't you commit it to the Lord?
You know, he is going to direct your paths.
That's the example, the first thing,
commit your search in prayer.
He says in verse number 13, he continues praying.
Behold, I stand here by the well of water,
and the daughters of the men of the city
come out to draw water.
So he's kind of praying to God.
Look, there's all these ladies coming out to draw water.
Potentially, it's one of these, you know?
And he says to God in verse number 14,
and let it come to pass that the damsel
to whom I shall say, let down thy pitcher,
I pray thee, that I may drink.
And she shall say, drink,
and I will give thy camels drink also.
Let the same be she that thou has appointed
for thy servant Isaac, and thereby shall I know
that thou has shewed kindness unto my master.
What a prayer.
Says Lord, I want it to be very specific.
There's all these ladies,
I don't know which one's the right one.
But you know, Lord, so let it be that when I ask for water,
she offers it unto me, and also to my camels with me.
It's a pretty good prayer, very specific prayer, okay?
You know, obviously the servant has faith.
You know, and again, it just shows us
the character of Abraham.
You know, that he would lead his family in the Lord,
and not only his family, his servants.
You know, Abraham was a rich man, lots of servants,
lots of people under his authority,
and they were all such godly people.
You know, what an example of this servant.
So point number one, brethren,
is commit your search in prayer, please.
Parents, be praying today for your son-in-law,
your daughter-in-law.
Maybe the reason there's been a delay
as it maybe feels that way,
is that you've not been committing this to prayer, okay?
If you can keep your finger there,
and come with me to Matthew chapter seven.
Matthew chapter seven.
Keep your finger there in Genesis 24.
Genesis 24 is our main text today.
Genesis 24 verse 15.
Genesis 24, 15.
The Bible says in, sorry.
Matthew seven, seven.
Sorry, brethren.
Matthew, I'm a bit tired now.
Matthew seven, seven.
You keep your finger there in Genesis 24.
Matthew chapter seven verse seven.
If I give you like a really bad reference,
please just put your hand up or yell out, all right?
Before my brain tells me that I did it wrong,
you can just let me know.
Feel free to let me know, okay?
Matthew seven, seven.
It says, ask.
These are the words of Jesus.
Ask.
And it shall be given you.
Do you believe that?
You know, for the single people that might feel that,
you know, or maybe getting married is too late for them.
Well, let's just ask.
Ask and it shall be given you.
Just ask, ask Jesus.
Ask the Lord.
You know, many times we don't have the answers to prayer.
Well, it's because we just didn't pray.
There are so many things that God wants to give us.
And we're like, God, I'll handle this.
Don't worry about it.
And God just wants you to ask Him.
Ask and it shall be given.
Does God want people, young people, singles to get married?
Is that the, we saw this last year, last week.
The general desire of God is that each one of us
would find a spouse for life.
Okay?
Ask and it shall be given you.
Seek.
You kind of have to look.
The servant's gone out to seek.
Seek and ye shall find, knock.
And it shall be opened unto you.
Do you believe these words of Jesus Christ?
It does require great faith when we go to God in prayer.
You know, when we ask the Lord God in prayer,
we should not waver.
Right, we should not be tossed to and fro.
The double minded man is unstable in all his ways.
We should ask the Lord God, God,
you know, if I'm a single person, Lord,
please guide me, direct me.
Lord, I'm looking for a spouse.
Lord, it's been a long time.
Maybe I feel like nobody loves me or cares about me.
I maybe, Lord, I think I'm unlovable.
I don't know, but Lord, just I would like a spouse.
Because that was your intention from the very beginning,
a husband and wife.
And then look at verse number eight.
For everyone that asketh receiveth,
and he that seeketh findeth,
and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
Or what man is there of you,
whom if your son ask bread, will he give him a stone?
Or if you ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?
For your parents, if your children are hungry,
are you gonna give them a rock or a snake to eat?
If ye then, being evil,
know how to give good gifts unto your children,
how much more shall your Father, which is in heaven,
give good things to them that ask him?
I think a lot of times we just don't have
what we thought we would have.
It's just we've not gone to God.
We're so stubborn.
Human beings, we're so prideful.
God, I've got it covered, don't worry about it.
I'll deal with it.
This is my business, Lord.
Just ask him.
He's our Father.
He's our loving Father.
You ask and he'll give you.
It might take time.
It might be a long journey.
He might take you out of your comfort zone,
but God promises that he's gonna come through.
Do you believe the promises of God or not?
Or are the promises just for Isaac?
Are the promises just for the Old Testament saints?
Are the promises just for the pastor?
No, it's for all of us.
If God is your heavenly Father, just ask of him.
Let him deal with it.
Okay?
I believe this.
I've seen so much answered prayer in my life.
I've seen so much answered prayer.
My wife is an answered prayer.
My children are answered prayer.
This church is answered prayer.
So many answered prayers that God,
but all we need sometimes is just to ask.
And sometimes I forget, I forget.
As a pastor, I forget to ask.
And then I'm like, maybe I should ask God.
And I ask God, there it is.
What took me so long?
Pride, all right, lack of faith.
It's usually these kind of ingredients
that mess up our life a little bit.
And then we're gonna learn the hard way
and remind ourselves we have a loving Father
that wants us to give us great gifts.
We just need to ask him.
Commit your search in prayer.
Start there, okay?
Start there.
Just take it to God.
God, please lead me to my spouse-to-be.
And like I said to you, when you start praying this,
you start to care and love them before you even met them.
You know, when I met Kristina,
I didn't have to learn to love her, I already did love her.
I already did.
Because I already had committed in my mind,
this is gonna be my wife.
And I've been praying for her for years.
I already knew her, not really.
But I already knew that God knew her.
And I already cared for her.
I didn't have to become in love with her
because I was already in love with the spouse
that I was gonna marry.
Let's keep going there.
Genesis 24, verse 17.
Genesis 24, verse number 17.
Apologies, verse 15.
Genesis 24, verse 15.
So once he's done praying, actually,
not even before he's, he's not even done praying.
Because it says this in verse number 15.
And it came to pass before he had done speaking.
So he's still in prayer.
He's not even finished talking to God.
And the prayer gets answered, okay?
And it came to pass before he had done speaking
that, behold, Rebekah came out,
who was born to Bethuel, son of Milcah,
the wife of Nahor, Abraham's brother,
with her picture upon her shoulder.
And the damsel was very fair to look upon a virgin.
Neither had any man known her.
And she went down to the well
and filled her picture and came up.
The next thing that I've got for you,
the next point that I have for you,
you can see here, and the damsel was very fair
to look upon.
Next point that I have for you is find someone
that you are attracted to.
There's nothing wrong with physical attraction.
Okay?
The damsel comes, she's fair to look upon.
Okay?
And the servant goes, you know what?
I think Isaac is gonna like her.
Physically, in that sense.
There's nothing wrong with that.
Okay?
And I, like, I've got a few daughters, right?
You know, your daughters get to a certain age
where they kinda wanna fix themselves up a little bit more.
All right?
Before they come to church, before they go out.
Even my younger daughters, they want the pretty dress.
They wanna look nice.
Yeah?
We're not talking about looking like a whore here.
We're looking about someone that is fair to look upon.
There's nothing wrong with this side of things.
And I would encourage ladies to look presentable.
Okay?
Men look presentable.
Be tidy, be neat and tidy.
You don't know.
Your spouse might be in this church right now.
Okay?
Put on a nice show.
I mean, we're in the house of the Lord anyway.
You know, look neat and tidy for the house of the Lord.
Prepare to come and worship and praise him.
But she's fair to look upon.
Find someone you are attracted to.
Okay?
Now, this is the problem.
And again, this is mainly a ladies issue,
but it can be a men's issue.
Where you might say, well, let you know, pastor,
I'm not supermodel material.
All right?
I don't look like those women in Hollywood.
I don't look like those singers.
You know, the way the world portrays
what fair and beauty is.
I'm not like that.
Pastor, you don't understand.
I don't have many people that find me fair.
That's okay.
Marriage is not many people.
How many times do you need to get married?
Once.
You don't need many people to find you fair.
You just need your spouse to find you fair.
That's all that.
Why do you want the whole world to find you fair?
Are you gonna date them all?
Are you gonna get married to them all?
Of course not.
We're looking for that one spouse till death do us part.
I don't care how unpretty you feel, girls.
Someone's finding you fair.
Someone will.
Your spouse will.
Okay?
So don't worry about comparing yourself.
You know, all the boys like her.
Well, she's not gonna marry all the boys.
Okay?
And if she tries to get around with all the boys,
she's gonna destroy your life.
We just need one.
Just one person to find you fair.
Don't forget the Bible says in Psalm 139 verse 14,
I will praise thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Marvelous are thy works that my soul knoweth right well.
Marvelous are the works of God.
Your appearance is a work of God.
You know, your heights, your dimensions,
your color, you are a creation of God
and you've been fearfully and wonderfully made.
You look exactly how God wants you to look.
And He's made you to look exactly
how your spouse will find you attractive.
So don't worry about not looking like the Hollywood star.
Those people destroy their lives anyway.
How many of them pass away at 30, 40 years old
on drug overdose or suicide?
Those people are not happy.
They might have the looks, all right?
But they're not happy people.
Come with me to Proverbs 31.
I can keep your finger there in Genesis 24.
Come with me to Proverbs 31.
Proverbs 31 verse 30.
Even though I recommend you find someone
that you're attracted to,
I mean, that should be common sense.
You know, beauty is not always gonna be there.
Believe it or not, I was once a handsome man.
I don't know what happened.
A few years went by.
I'm joking.
The Bible says in Proverbs 31 verse 30, Proverbs 31 verse 30,
favor is deceitful and beauty is vain.
You see, being beautiful, being fair, wonderfully made
is great, it's wonderful.
But I want you to understand that if your life
is just about beauty, just trying to look just perfect
all the time, and you're just spending hours upon hours
upon hours to just look as beautiful as you possibly can,
you need to understand that beauty is vain.
Okay, it's a waste of time, okay?
Now, God has made in the beauty of the world
now God has made individuals beautiful.
People find different people attractive in different ways.
Okay, but don't make your life all about beauty, okay?
Rather, okay, because you cannot change how you look, right?
I mean, unless you pack yourself with makeup
and look like a clown, I guess you can change
the way you look, but generally speak,
God's made you the way you are,
like you're not gonna change all that much now
besides getting older and the beauty fading away.
Rather, what you can control is the rest of that verse there
in Proverbs 31 verse 30, I'll read it again.
Faith is deceitful and beauty is vain,
but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
See, the word praise is beauty,
but when it comes to God's people,
hey, you're looking for a godly spouse,
you know what he's going to desire,
you know what's gonna help him make him attractive
towards you, is the fear of the Lord.
A love for the Lord, a good godly man
when he sees a young lady at church,
fearing the Lord, serving the Lord, loving the Lord,
he says, that's attractive, that's beautiful,
that's rare, that's different compared
to all the other girls that's out there in the world
that's packing on the makeup,
trying to look like supermodels, doing the Botox,
all right, doing the suntan, the fake suntan.
No, you know what's truly beautiful?
In the eyes of a godly man is a woman that fears the Lord.
She shall be praised, you know, she shall be praised.
Your beauty is not going to always be there.
Okay, your body's gonna break down,
you're gonna get wrinkles, you're gonna get skin tags,
you're gonna get different coloring and whatever,
that beauty's gonna go away,
so why spend all your time on this?
Nevertheless, I don't wanna remove the fact that yes,
you know what, once you pray to the Lord,
keep your eyes open, find someone that you find fair.
That's a good step number one, okay?
That's a good step number one,
but realize that there's more to it
than just the outward beauty, okay?
The next thing that we saw there in Genesis 24,
in the same verse, this is important as well,
and again, this is where some people might get offended,
I don't know, okay?
But Genesis 24 verse 16,
and the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin.
A virgin.
She was not a whore, okay?
She was not committed fornication.
She was not sleeping around.
She wasn't dating 50 men to find out
who the right potential might be.
She's a virgin.
Young people, keep your virginity until marriage.
It's such a precious thing, okay?
This world treats it like garbage.
Keep your virginity until marriage.
Don't sleep around.
Don't commit fornication.
Don't entertain your mind with things
that might draw you to lust in this manner.
Once again, there's nothing wrong with physical intimacy.
There's nothing wrong with, it's a gift of God.
It's how children come to be.
But the right place is marriage.
See, there is something beautiful about a virgin.
Okay, and here's the thing.
A lot of people think that, you know,
well, obviously a virgin has kept herself physically pure.
Okay, that's important, that's good, all right?
The problem with fornication and sleeping around,
multiple partners, as many of you know,
are the diseases that come with that, the STDs.
Diseases, and then you're passing on
from one person to the next,
and these are problems that you need to deal with in life.
Okay, if you keep yourself pure physically,
you won't be dealing with unnecessary diseases
that then you might potentially pass on
to the person you truly love,
the one that you truly decided to make your spouse.
Yes, there is a purity, a physical purity
when it comes to keeping your virginity,
but something that gets overlooked
is that it also gives you emotional purity,
emotional purity.
You see, if you don't remain a virgin,
and you go and sleep around with this person
and that person, you give your first kiss to that person,
you give your virginity over to that person, okay,
then when the Lord helps you find that right person,
you've given away the most precious things,
those feelings, those emotions to someone else
before the one that you're meant to spend
the rest of your life with.
That can cause a lot of confusion in your mind, okay?
Emotions are, you know, look, I'm emotionally,
I'm emotionally, what's the word I'm looking for?
Attached to all of you, because I love you all.
Like I see you all as church members, right?
And sometimes you go to work,
and you work with people for hours and hours and hours,
same people in an office, you sit down with them,
you know, you work together,
you might have informal conversations,
and you know, you start to build a bit of care
and, you know, love toward
even your work colleagues potentially.
And that's when it becomes very dangerous,
because there needs to be a limit
with those emotional feelings.
This is why so many people cheat on the job,
because they become emotionally attracted
to someone that they've spending hours and hours and hours
with on the job.
And sometimes that can be as hurtful,
just that emotional attachment as actually going out
and cheating on your spouse.
Why would you wanna give all those precious things,
all those actually supposed to be beautiful
and nice emotions over to someone else
and not your spouse to be?
You wanna be careful, okay?
So let's just use an example,
let's just say a young lady has found a man in church
and, you know, he's a godly man,
they care for each other,
then they think maybe this can work.
And that young lady finds out later on
that the young man spent two years dating some of the lady.
Okay?
And now she's interested in him.
You know what's gonna happen emotionally,
she's gonna be thinking,
whether consciously or subconsciously,
she's gonna be thinking, how can I compete?
I've just met this man,
we're going out on our first dates,
how am I gonna compete against the girl
he spent two years with?
And even if there was no physical,
which is pretty rare if you're gonna go that long,
all right, she's gonna be thinking,
what about all the emotions that he has for her?
Is he still brokenhearted?
Does he still think about her?
Is she still on his Facebook page?
Why is she on his Facebook page?
And it can really make marriages a little bit unstable.
Okay?
And problems can arise, cracks can arise.
There's more to it than just a physical purity,
and that's important, there's more to it.
Okay?
So we wanna make sure we make the right decisions in life.
And I know there are people in this church
that have made that mistake.
Again, I'm not attacking you.
Okay?
You support the preaching,
you say to the young people,
past is right, keep yourself pure,
keep yourself for your spouse to be.
Don't spend years and years and years dating someone
and you don't know where it's going.
All that emotional power, those feelings,
it's all baggage that you're gonna have to deal with in life.
So point number three,
point number one was commit your search in prayer.
Point number two was find someone you are attracted to.
Point number three is keep your virginity till marriage.
Can you please turn to Proverbs chapter six?
Turn with me to Proverbs chapter six and verse number 20.
Proverbs chapter six and verse number 20.
And by the way, let me say something else.
If you have lost your virginity,
and you know you're not physically pure,
and you still find someone that will love you anyway,
you still find someone that wants to date you,
you still find someone that desires to marry you,
that marriage is, that love is strong.
That love is strong.
Because I'm telling you,
godly people want someone who is a virgin.
And if someone is willing to say, you know what,
I'm willing to put that aside,
I'm gonna love you anyway,
I'm gonna date you and we're gonna get married anyway,
that's a pretty special person.
It's a strong love.
Please don't write them off.
Please don't mistreat them, okay?
Because, you know, if you're a virgin,
your range of suitors is quite, is larger,
you lose your virginity,
your range of suitors are gonna drop to something tiny.
So don't think, oh, I can just keep going.
Look, if someone loves you that much
and is willing to put that aside
and just move on forward, okay?
Think of, this could be someone that is really special.
Okay?
Sorry, where did I get you to turn?
Proverbs chapter six, verse number 20.
Proverbs chapter six and verse number 20.
And again, this is why dating for a long time is not good.
I'm not saying rush into marriage.
I'm saying prepare yourself early
before you even start dating.
I'm not saying rush.
I'm not saying, I'm definitely saying don't take forever.
All right?
But look at Proverbs chapter six, verse 20.
My son, keep thy father's commandments
and forsake not the law of thy mother.
Bind them continually upon thine heart
and tie them about thy neck.
When thou goest, it shall lead thee.
When thou sleepest, it shall keep thee.
When thou awakest, it shall talk with thee.
What are these instructions?
For the commandment is a lamp of the Lord's lights
and reproofs of instruction are the way of life.
Look at verse number 24.
To keep thee from the evil woman,
from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.
You see, the Bible warns us
about who we want to get attached to.
There are strange people.
There are evil people that want you to lose your virginity.
You know what?
If you're working a job, just you out there,
you're 20 years old or whatever,
well network a job and they find out you're a virgin,
you think they're gonna praise you for that?
Well done, keep it going.
Save yourself to marriage.
Oh, they're gonna mock you.
They're gonna laugh at your face, okay?
And guess what?
They're gonna try to make you lose it somehow.
When I would go to work
and people knew I did not drink alcohol,
I had so many people offer me,
just come out and I'll buy you a drink.
They don't really care.
Do you think they care for me?
Well, they just want to see me drink alcohol and go ha ha ha.
You said you want a drink, we got you.
Look, same thing with your virginity.
And people find out that you're trying to save yourself
for that special person.
They'll mock you.
They'll laugh at you.
They'll send you to a strange woman.
They'll find you some way.
They'll try to throw you into a situation.
And you need to be careful.
Let's keep going there.
It says in verse 25,
lust not after her beauty in thine heart,
neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
Like the Lord knows, our world knows, right?
That's why girls stay like those really long eyelashes.
Because they know that somehow it attracts men.
The Bible's warning you, be careful of that person.
Verse number 26, for by means of a whorish woman,
a man is brought to a piece of bread
and the adulterous will hunt for the precious life.
Now this is so important.
Verse number 27, verse number 28
is what I want to talk to you about.
Remember the Bible told us, we read this last week
that if a young couple,
they ought to marry rather than to burn.
Remember that?
That burning desire is the physical intimacy
with the opposite sex.
Let them marry.
Because we don't want them committing fornication.
But the Bible says here in verse number 27,
can a man take fire in his bosom
and his clothes not be burnt?
If you just light a fire right here,
do you think, ah, I can just stand here with a fire for ages.
I'm not gonna get burnt.
My clothes are not gonna get singed.
I won't get hurt.
That's why I was, obviously that's ridiculous.
Of course you're gonna get burnt.
Of course you're gonna get hurt.
Verse number 28, can one go upon hot coals
and his feet not be burned?
So he that goeth in to his neighbor's wife,
whosoever touch of her, shall not be innocent.
What is the Bible telling us here?
If you spend time, a lot of time,
with one individual person,
not for the purpose of getting married,
you spend eight hours at work with them,
then you go and hang out with them at the bar, okay?
You will be burnt.
You will commit adultery.
You will commit fornication.
You are not strong enough to overcome that sin,
to overcome that temptation.
You are not.
I don't care how godly you are.
David was a man after God's own heart,
and look what he did.
You think you're strong enough?
Dating is, you gotta be careful.
Because if you spend weeks after weeks after weeks,
months after months after months,
years after years after years,
with one other person, you know, dating,
without the purpose of marriage.
Aspirations of getting married.
You will be burnt.
You will commit fornication.
The temptation is too strong,
because it's actually a good thing.
That's what you need to understand.
It's a good thing in marriage.
It's a proper thing in marriage.
But it's a special thing.
You're taking it, and you're destroying your testimony,
destroying your physical purity, your emotional purity.
I'm all for dating, but dating to get married.
Because that fire will burn.
Okay, let it burn in marriage.
Okay?
And the fruit of the womb is his reward.
Okay?
So don't think, you know, you're 15 years old.
Dad, I wanna start dating.
All right, honey, off you go.
You get married when you're 25.
You're not gonna be pure.
I'll tell you now.
Okay?
I'm not saying this.
The Bible's telling you, you will be burnt.
You will destroy your testimony.
Come back with me to Genesis 24.
Genesis 24, verse 17.
Genesis 24, verse number 17.
So he's asked for the Lord to guide him.
All right?
And so now the servant, right?
He finds Rebekah, Genesis 24, verse 17.
And the servant ran to meet her and said,
let me, I pray thee, drink a little water of thy pitcher.
Remember, he asked, you know, whoever asked,
if she responds in this manner, Lord, let it be her.
Okay?
Verse number 18, and she said, drink my Lord.
Look how respectful she is to a stranger, asking for water.
She said, drink my Lord.
And she hasted and let down her pitcher upon her hand
and gave him drink.
And when she had done giving him drink, she said,
I will draw water for thy camels also,
until they have done drinking.
And she hasted.
Look, she's not a slothful woman.
She's hasted.
She says, look, this guy's thirsty.
His camels must be thirsty.
Look how far they've traveled.
Let's give him something to drink.
She hasted and emptied her pitcher into the trow
and ran again into the well to draw water
and drew for all his camels.
Next point that I have for you, young people,
is when you're looking for a girlfriend to become the wife
or boyfriend to become the husband,
look for a servant's heart.
Look for someone that is willing to serve.
Okay?
Rebecca, yes, my Lord, I'll give you water.
And I'll even give you water for the camels
because they're so important.
I'm going to actually haste.
I'm not going to be slothful or lazy.
I'm going to go and get that water as soon as I can.
We see within Rebecca, a servant's heart.
A servant's heart.
Yes, finding her or finding him attractive is good.
Okay?
But what kind of heart do they have?
Are they looking to be served
or are they looking to be your servant?
We can say Rebecca, she's such a good lady.
So respectful.
Okay?
She's not of this generation.
She's not a millennial where they desire to be served.
They want to be the master.
They want to call the shots.
She goes, I'll do what needs to be done.
I'll serve.
This is so important.
You know, young men, you might find an attractive woman
and there are these terms I don't know if you're familiar
with, maybe they're terms from my time, I don't know.
You might find a gold digger.
All she wants is for you to run around and serve her
and spend all your money on her and buy her all the gifts.
All right?
And she will do nothing for you in return.
You don't want to marry a gold digger.
Because men, it's your job to go and work.
You're going to be serving for the rest of your life,
your family.
But you want a wife that will come along
and serve you in return.
Or the other one, a diva.
You know, girls that are divas?
You know what I'm talking about?
I don't know.
The word diva is like divinity.
So diva I think means goddess or something like that.
Where a girl is like, you know, I'm just so,
I'm so beautiful.
I'm so special.
You know what?
You go, you go and get that for me.
I'm not going to get, I'm not going to,
I'm not going to get my hands dirty.
You know, she's a princess or whatever it is, you know?
I'm not going to get my hands dirty.
You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you.
That's a horrible person.
They might look beautiful on the outside,
but the more you get to know them,
you'll realize just how horrible they are.
You won't be physically attracted to them
once you figure out what they're like.
We're looking for a servant's heart.
Now, you know, when I say this,
and I'm talking to young people here,
I'm telling you look for someone with a servant's heart,
but that should also mean that if you want to get married,
you need to have a servant's heart
because someone else is looking for that in you.
You know, right now in church,
you can serve in this church right now.
You can show everyone in this church
that you've got a servant's heart.
And young people,
sometimes you feel like you're the ones being served.
You know, someone that ladies bring out the morning tea.
Ah.
How about you serve?
How about you pick up that plate
and go around to the adults and offer them food?
How about you go and pick up the rubbish?
How about you pick up the mop?
You pick up the vacuum cleaner and serve.
And parents, it's not gonna happen automatically.
It's gonna happen at the home.
If it's not happening at home,
it's not gonna happen at church.
We gotta teach our children not to be self entitled brats.
Okay?
Servant's heart.
That's what Rebecca has.
All right?
So point number four, brethren,
is look for a servant's heart.
The Bible says in Genesis 2.18,
and the Lord God said,
it is not good that the man should be alone.
I will make him and help meet for him.
Suitable, meet.
I'm gonna make him a help.
Wives, are you a help to your husband?
Or are you a hindrance to your husbands?
God's made you to be a help.
Teach your daughters to be a help to their future spouse.
Get them help in now,
so that a godly young man looks at that help,
that servant heart and go, wow, she's beautiful.
Not just on the outward,
but she's beautiful on the inward.
Maybe I'm gonna date her.
Can you please turn back with me to Genesis 24?
Come back to Genesis 24.
Genesis 24, verse number 34, Genesis 24, 34.
So we're just fast-forwarding the story a little bit here.
Now, he goes with Rebecca.
Rebecca introduces the servant to her whole family, okay?
And then he obviously tells the story
that he's been sent to find a wife for Isaac.
And this is what he says in Genesis 24, verse 34, okay?
So he's not just talking to Rebecca,
he's talking to the whole family of Rebecca's.
Genesis 24, 34, and he said, I am Abraham's servant.
I want you to notice the next words.
And the Lord have blessed my master greatly,
and he is become great, and he have given him flocks,
and herds, and silver, and gold, and men servants,
and maid servants, and camels, and asses.
Why is the servant saying all these things?
I am my father Abraham's servant.
What is he saying?
He says, look, if she comes with us,
she'll be looked after.
There are riches, there are flocks, and herds,
and servants, and gold, and silver.
She'll be looked after if you let her go.
She'll be looked after if she becomes Isaac's wife.
Look at verse number 36.
And Sarah, my master's wife, bear a son to my master
when she was old, and unto him
have he given all that he hath.
Remember, we started with Abraham being old
and stricken in age.
Guess who's running the family business right now?
Not Abraham, he's old.
It's Isaac.
Isaac's got a job.
Isaac's got great riches.
Yes, it's been inherited.
But taking care of flocks and herds in a business,
it still requires work day after day after day.
He might be a white collar worker, I don't know, okay?
But he's still running a business, the family business.
A great multitude.
You know, he's trying to convince Rebecca's family
that the man that she could marry
is a hardworking man that can take care of her needs.
The next point that I have for you
when you're looking for a girlfriend,
or actually it's the other way around, really.
If the girl is looking for a boyfriend,
is look for a man who is financially secure.
This is why a young man at 13 years old
is not ready to get married and start dating,
get started dating and get married.
That 13 year old is not financially secure.
Oh, but he inherited the family's business.
At 13, he's going to destroy his family's business, okay?
There'll be nothing left by the time he's 14.
Look at verse number 51, Genesis 24, 51.
Behold, Rebecca is before thee.
Take her and go, and let her be thy master's son's wife,
as the Lord have spoken.
And it came to pass that when Abraham's servant
heard their words, he worshiped the Lord,
bowing himself to the earth.
Now look what happens.
And the servant brought forth jewels of silver
and jewels of gold and raiment.
Remember clothing back then was very expensive
because it was all handmade.
And gave them to Rebecca.
He gave also to her brother
and to her mother, precious things.
Showing the family, look, we can provide.
She'll be taken care of.
She's not marrying a bum.
She's not marrying a man who's wasting his life.
Look, here are the riches.
Here's the proof.
That's when your daughter says,
dad, can I date this young man?
You ask that young man for his pay slip.
Show me, can you take care of her?
Are you ready to get married?
Are you financially secure?
Young man, you wanna get married?
Work hard, save up.
Stop wasting your money on, I'll say crap.
Stop wasting your money on crap.
Stop it.
You know what I did with my first paycheck?
Not my first paycheck, because it wasn't enough.
After a few weeks of getting a few paycheck,
first thing I did was buy myself a new computer.
And then I was like, what a waste of money.
Should have put it toward a car.
Should have put it toward maybe saving up
for a house deposit.
I don't know, something for my future.
I don't have a computer to play video games.
Oh, the graphics are better.
Yeah, that's not gonna always attract a wife.
So look, I'm not perfect.
I'm preaching God's word.
All right, you learn from the mistakes
that the adults have made, that the past has made.
You learn from them and say, you do better.
You can do better.
Trust the Lord, do it His way.
Show that you're financially secure.
You know, when you look at Adam and Eve,
before God gave Adam Eve, what did He give him?
Before He gave him a wife?
He gave him a job, right?
He was to be a gardener.
He gave him a place to live, the garden of Eden.
And then He gave him his wife.
That is the proper way to do things, young men.
Not girlfriend, and then let's figure out
how we're gonna do this.
No, you start now.
Start saving up.
Start looking, be prudent.
Think of the future, okay?
Show your spouse's dad that you can take care of her needs.
Look, if a young man wants to date my daughter
and he's got no job, forget about it.
Forget about it.
He said, but I've got a job.
Is it full-time?
You know what?
God asked men to work six days, shout out labor.
And you can't even do five days, nine to five in Australia.
Forget about it.
You can't even do the minimum Australian standard.
Forget about it.
Oh, but I'm doing, I am working full-time work.
Are you a permanent employee or are you casual?
I'm casual.
Forget about it.
I'm just giving you my thoughts here.
This is not Bible, this is me.
Forget about it.
Permanent.
I want to know you got a job tomorrow, not today.
I want you to, I want to know that if you get sick,
you're still gonna get paid.
I want to know that when you take my daughter
on a honeymoon, you've got annual leave
and you're gonna get paid.
You can take care of her.
Unless you're running your own business.
Obviously that's a bit of a different story.
Okay, like Isaac running his own business.
Not sure if he's paying himself sick leave or not.
Okay, but he's got plenty.
That's what I'm looking for.
Permanent.
I don't care how much you inherited.
I don't care if you inherited millions.
You got people that win millions of dollars on the lotto
and in two years they're bankrupt.
Because they don't know how to be financially secure.
So what's the point of inheriting?
Oh, look at all the money inherited.
So what?
Can you manage it?
Can you work hard?
Do you value money?
Are you a good steward with what God has given you?
How long have you been working that job?
I want to marry her.
How long have you been working?
Three months, forget about it.
Show me a couple of years of working hard.
Full time permanent.
Show me your bank accounts.
Show me that she won't be hungry next week.
Show me that in nine months,
potentially when you guys have a baby,
that you can take care of that baby.
My grandchild.
Because the purpose of dating is to get married.
And look, again, I'm not perfect.
When I started dating, I was not working,
well, hold on, I think I was.
I was, but then I lost it.
And then I was just working casual work.
Like I'm teaching you my mistakes too.
Okay?
And we delayed, we delayed, we delayed.
If I just had a full time permanent work job,
I would have got married much earlier in life.
And I still got married pretty young,
but I would have been married much younger.
Okay?
Be financially secure.
The Bible says in Genesis 2 24, about marriage,
therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother
and shall cleave unto his wife
and they shall be one flesh.
Leave, mother and father.
Are you financially secure enough to leave mum and dad?
No, then they'll get married.
Don't start dating.
You gotta be able to take care of a wife and children.
Well, let's start with the wife.
You got nine months to just get a pay rise,
take care of the children.
My experience with children
is that I could never afford children.
I could afford my wife.
And then when the child came along,
then God blessed us with a pay increase,
a promotion, this or that.
Because the fruit of the womb is his reward.
Okay, so God's gonna make sure
that child can be taken care of.
He'll find a way so the finances will be there
to take care of that family.
But you start the right way.
Are you financially secure enough
to leave mother and father?
If you say, no, I'm not, then you're not ready.
Don't start dating.
You could still be interested with that individual.
You gotta get a move on though.
Be way too long, someone else might snap her up.
Be financially secure.
Do you know why this is so important?
The reason this is so important
is because the second highest cause for divorce
is financial difficulties.
Is that how you wanna start your marriage?
Your financial difficulties?
The second highest cause of divorce?
It's not a good way to start your marriage.
Okay, so prepare before you start dating.
Start saving up, okay?
I'm not saying buy a house, I don't expect that.
House prices are crazy.
But can you at least put a roof, a granny flat,
something over the head of that person
that you say you love and care for?
So you start praying for your spouse now
because you're gonna start loving and caring about them now.
So instead of wasting your money,
you're gonna be saving up for them
when the right time comes.
When the Lord answers your prayer
and guides you to that person
that you're gonna take care of.
Be financially secure.
Can you come with me to Proverbs 24?
We'll make this the last verse.
Proverbs 24 verse 27.
Proverbs 24 and verse number 27.
Proverbs 24, 27.
I love this verse.
This is one of my life verses.
I've preached on it many times in different ways, okay?
Don't forget when the Bible refers to a family,
many times the Lord uses the word house.
So does what must I do to be saved?
Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shall be saved
and thy house.
House being family, okay?
So let's put the,
print the application to family in this verse, okay?
Proverbs 24, 27.
Prepare thy work without and make it fit
for thyself in the field
and afterwards build thine house.
You get married and have a house?
I'm talking about physical building.
I'm talking about the house of your family.
You gotta prepare first.
Prepare, okay?
Go and work.
Go and build character skills.
Go and serve in the house of the Lord.
Pray to the Lord,
Lord, guide me to this person,
this very special person in my life.
Prepare yourself.
Stop being selfish.
Be selfless.
Serve.
Do what the Lord is asking of you.
Show people that you're ready.
Save up.
Be ready.
Work a job.
Find a full-time permanent job, young men.
This is on you.
Okay?
Prepare.
Then what does it say?
And make it fit for thyself in the field.
You see, I can't tell you do things like me.
This is why, again, individual soul liberty is so important.
Prepare it for thyself.
We're all different.
We all have different skills and abilities to work.
We're all gonna find the spouse
at different times in life.
We're all gonna find the spouse
at different times in life.
Okay?
So make it fit for yourself.
Look at your situation.
Instead of looking at another family
or looking at another couple,
and say, I wish I was like that
or I wish I could do it that way.
Get yourself prepared.
Educate yourself.
Then look at your life
and say, what do I need to do for myself
so I can have this house,
my family, my spouse?
Okay?
You do the preparation.
You be prudent.
You look of the future.
And then it says, and afterwards, build thine house.
Afterwards, when you're ready.
When it's all done.
I'm financially secure.
I'm ready to get out there.
Now, Lord, to find my spouse, help me.
I've done everything that I can do, Lord.
Now I need you to help me find this woman.
So important, you know?
We have such a lazy generation.
I don't know what's happened.
I don't know what's going on, brethren.
Lazy men, lazy generation.
And we can't change the world.
But you're a child of God.
Don't be slothful.
Don't be sluggard.
Don't waste your time and waste your precious years
on nonsense, on the new computer.
Who cares?
If you need a computer, you need a computer.
You know what I'm talking about.
Don't waste your time.
You need a car, you don't need the best car.
You need a house, you don't need the best house.
Little by little, line upon line, precept upon precept.
A bit out of context, you know what I mean?
Everything's gradual, okay?
We live in a generation that thinks
that they're entitled to the best car, to the best house,
to the best of everything first,
and then I'll make a decision about getting married wrong.
All these things are important,
but you don't need the best of everything.
Start with that which is small.
Be faithful, be a faithful steward
with what God has given you, even though it's small,
and then God in His due time will give you more and more.
God's done that for my life.
Can't just be me.
And I'm not some show-off, I'm nobody.
God's done it for many people here.
They can testify, yes, the Lord's come through.
Then He can do it for you, young people.
He can do it for you.
The same Lord that we worship, same God that loves you.
All right, so in conclusion, thank you for your patience.
In conclusion, number one, commit your search in prayer.
Go to God first.
You should be going to God first about anything,
everything anyway.
Number two, find someone that you are attracted to.
Number three, keep your virginity till marriage.
Number four, look for a servant's heart.
And number five, be financially secure.
Okay, let's pray.