Please turn to Proverbs 31. Proverbs 31. This is a very, very popular passage when
dealing with the topic of women, wives, motherhood, all those kind of things. Boy,
if you've looked at that, that, you know, if you've read through that, it is a
high standard. There is a high standard of what it means to be a virtuous woman,
okay. So let's have a look at this. Proverbs 31. It is the ladies turn this
time to get preached at. I preached on the men last week. You know, men, I hope
you've been loving your wives a little more this week than last, but let's look
at Proverbs 31. Verse number 10, the Bible says, who can find a virtuous woman?
Okay, so the title of sermon tonight is a virtuous woman. Now what I'm going to do
is just keep your finger there in Proverbs 31 and turn to Ephesians chapter 5.
Ephesians chapter 5, because if you remember when I preached on the men
last week, I spent a lot of time in Ephesians chapter 5 preaching to the men,
but there is a little segment there that I want to cover about women. Ephesians
chapter 5, please. Ephesians chapter 5, verse 22. Ephesians 5, 22. The Bible reads,
wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. Now you might
be thinking, boy, somebody from the 1920s must have written the Bible, right. It
says their wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands. I mean that was back
then, not in 2018, surely not. I mean in 2018, husbands should be submitting
themselves to their wives. That's the kind of, that's the mentality that's out
there, okay. That's the mentality that's out there, and unfortunately even within
the church, husbands even are afraid of their wives. Afraid to ask their wives to
be submissive to them, okay. So this is, it really shouldn't be, but this is a
hard saying in today's age. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as
unto the Lord, okay. So when you, when you have your husband, he is, and we'll see in
the verse 23 there, for the husband is the head of the wife. God says, wives, that
your husband is your head and that you should be submissive to him as unto the
Lord. Who's the Lord? The Lord Jesus Christ. In the same way that you'd be
submissive to God himself is the same way that you ought to be submissive to
your husband. Wow. You know, wow. That's crazy. You know, 2018, what kind of
preaching is this? Even as Christ is the head of the church and he is the Savior
of the body. So let's, let's start off with that. Let's talk about what does it
mean to be submissive? What does it mean to submit yourself to your husband? Of
course, to submit yourself means to lower yourself, okay. You're, you actually, in
the family, in the family unit, wives, you have a lower level of authority than the
husband. You are to lower yourself under the authority of your husband. You're,
you're, you're being put under that authority. Now think about this for a
minute. If everybody knew this, okay, if we didn't leave in 2018, we leave back in
the 1920s, where everybody knew, all the ladies knew, that they had to be
submissive to their husbands, don't you think they'd be a little wiser when
choosing a husband? All right, don't you think, you know, I've got to be submissive
to this man for the rest of my life, you know, he's going to look after me, he's
going to love me, he's going to care for me, and I've got to make sure that I'm a
helpmate to him, I've got to make sure that I'm submissive to him, then you're
going to be extra careful in choosing your marriage partner, aren't you? Because
it's a big ask to be submissive unto that person, okay? Now this seems crazy,
but we are submissive all the time in our lives, okay? Now as, I don't, I don't
think I put a lot of requirements on you guys as the pastor of this church, but I
do have the authority in this church, you know, if I were to ask something for, from
you, within the church, while we're gathered together, I would expect that
you'd be submissive to that request, okay? But as a pastor who loves the
congregation, am I going to be asking you for ridiculous, unnecessary, extremely
difficult things to do? Of course not, okay? I'd be asking you to do things that
I know you have the ability to do, and to serve in the church, you know, when we
work, when we have, you know, men, we go to work, usually we have a boss that we
have to be submissive under, a supervisor, a team leader, a manager, you know, and
again, if that boss asks you, hey, I need to get this project done by the end of
today or the end of the week, you've got to be submissive to that, you know, you
don't turn around and say, hold on, aren't we equals, you know, yeah, you know, this
is 2019, boss, you know, we're no longer in the 1920s, you know, surely maybe you
should be submissive to me, surely we should be equal, maybe, maybe, maybe you
should be serving me, boss, you know, if you said that, yeah, that I should, you'd be
out of that door straight away, right, you'd lose your job, hey, we're submissive
all the time, you know, and the Bible says that we all as believers, we ought to be
submissive toward one another, that I should hold you higher than above than I
hold myself, now, as the pastor, yes, I have the authority, but you know what it
means to be a minister, it means that I am to minister to you, you know, when I'm
preaching, it might sound like I've got this, this, you know, I'm trying to, you
know, Bible bash you, but I'm actually ministering the Word to you, I'm actually
serving you, I'm actually lowering myself so you can be exalted by the preaching
of God's Word, being submissive is not this weird word, it's not something
that's unusual, but for some reason, when it comes to marriage, now it's like so
weird, what, you're submissive to your husband, you know, you're living in the
Stone Age, you know, we do this all the time, okay, unfortunately, we've been
programmed by feminism to say, hey, you know, if you submit to your husband,
then you're saying, you know, you're a lower quality human being or something
like that, it's not true, okay, you have, all that means is that you're
under the authority of your husband, and you don't assert the authority over him,
okay, you have somebody that's your head, and that puts a lot of requirement on
your head, okay, if your husband loves you, isn't he going to treat you good anyway,
isn't he going to look after you anyway, this is why we need preach in both ways,
we need husbands, love your wives, and we need wives, submit yourself to your
husband, alright, so I just wanted to bring that there, please turn back to
Proverbs 31, Proverbs 31, Proverbs 31 verse 10, the Bible begins here, it says,
who can find a virtuous woman, for her price is far above rubies, now rubies are
precious stone, it is a virtuous woman, hard to find, okay, it's not that they're
impossible to find, it is possible to find them, and it's possible to work
toward this, you might look at this list and go, man, I'm far from that, it doesn't
mean you can't be a virtuous woman later in your life, it doesn't mean you can't be
working toward this thing, it's not like, you know, you're either not a virtuous
woman, or you are a virtuous woman, hey, it means, hey, this is the standard of what
the Bible says a virtuous woman is, and I need to make steps to try to get there,
as long as you're making that journey, as long as you're headed in that direction,
that's a good thing, it means because you're becoming more valuable, you're
becoming more like these rubies, more and far above these rubies, you're becoming
far more valuable in the eyes of God, in your position as a man's wife, okay, now
it says virtuous woman, what does it mean to, what's virtue, what does that mean,
it means something that's, that's got a high worth, something that's valuable,
okay, who can find a valuable woman, you know, extreme worth, it also means
excellence or highly effective, who can find an excellent woman, someone who's
very effective for the family, very effective for her husband, the word
virtuous also carries the meaning of strength, okay, now obviously a woman
generally speaking is weaker than a man, you know, just biologically, but this is
obviously not the physical strength, but the strength of character, the strength
of having good morals, those kind of things are also very important for a
woman, now if you have a look at verse number one there, Proverbs 31 verse 1, I
just want to show you this, it says the words of King Lemuel, so Proverbs
31 is written by King Lemuel, which many believe that to be King
Solomon, I think that's a fair assessment, the prophecy that his mother taught him,
so he's actually writing about a proverb or prophecy or a teaching that came
straight from his mother, this is what his mother taught him, okay, and of course
a good mother is going to be teaching her son what kind of woman to marry,
you know, these are the qualities son, when you're looking for a wife, these are
the qualities that you ought to be looking for, okay, and you know this
reminds me of my own personal experience, it wasn't my dad so much that
talked to me about who to marry, it was my mum, you know, my mum would say hey
make sure you marry a woman who's a believer, you know, a woman who
you know, you can fall in love with, that you can see a
future together, that you have a vision together, you have shared goals, all these
kind of things my mum told me, and you know as a kid you're like, mum, I don't
want to talk about these things, you know, but you know those things as you get
older they come to your remembrance, and you know when it came to choosing a lady
I had my mum's, you know, teaching, nagging me at the back of my head, right,
into making the right decision, so you know mothers if you've got sons please
you know this is Proverbs 31 for girls who want to be raised as a
virtuous woman, but also to the boys, so they know what kind of woman they need
to marry, okay, or at least be looking for, you know, and look at verse, let's go
back to verse 11, Proverbs 31.11. Why is the virtuous woman so important? It says
the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, you know, so her husband can
trust this woman. Now, you know, don't answer this question wives, you know, do
you believe that your husbands can trust you? You know, do you think that your
husband has their full trust in leaving you to do, you know, your business
around the house to raise the family, or are they lacking in a bit of trust, and
if they're lacking a bit of trust, well, you know, you need to first of all be
submissive to them, but then start working toward these things that are
here in this list, you know, the husband trusts her to take care of the needs of
the family and of the house, you know, the husband trusts her that she would not
abuse finances, you know, I know a lot of men who can't trust their wives with
money, I know a lot of them, a lot of my friends, you know, can't trust their wives
with money, where they've even had to put restrictions on the credit card, you know,
or give them a special card and say, hey, I'm only transferring a hundred bucks a
day or something like that, because, you know, wives are going out there and going
crazy and spending the money, you know, I'm hoping that, you know, none of the wives
around here are like that, but hey, the husband of the virtuous woman trusts her
with the finances, he trusts that she would be faithful to him and not seek
the attention of other men, his full heart and trust is in his wife, kind of
like where to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ with all our heart, the
same kind of idea, the husband, he trusts his wife, no doubts at all, no doubts at
all with all his heart, he trusts in her, to the point there in verse 11, it says,
so that he shall have no need of spoil, now I was struggling to understand what
that meant a little bit, but, you know, what spoil means is when, you know,
spoil is the bounty of the, you know, when two nations go to war, whoever the
victorious nation is, you know, they take the resources, they take the bounty, they
take the, you know, the valuable things of the enemy that they defeated and we call
that the spoil, okay, they take something that didn't belong to them originally,
but had gone to war, won that war and they take that spoil for them, so the
fact is, if you're a virtuous woman, your husband can trust you to the point that
he has no need for spoil and what I think that's trying to say is, there's no
need for that man to seek attention of some other woman, some woman that is not
his wife, you know, something that doesn't belong to him, he doesn't have need for
anything else besides his wife there, because he has his full trust and
dependency upon her, you know, she's there to help him in his life and,
you know, I can tell you with an honest heart here that my heart is truly safe
with Christina, okay, I just, I know she's a faithful wife, she serves me
faithfully, I don't even have to worry about so many other things that she's
responsible for, I know she takes care of it and, you know, that is, that is a virtue,
I guess, of this woman here in Proverbs 31, verse number, let's look at verse
number 12, she will do him good and not evil all the days of her life, you know,
and again, I've told you guys, I've worked with a lot of women, right, and I hear
women complaining about their husbands and you know what the advice of other
women is, you need to get back at him, you need to get back at him, you know, it's
like they're wanting to do evil to that man, okay, but it says no, you will do
good to him, hey, you will be a good wife and look, I know your husband's not
perfect, because I'm not perfect, I know Christina doesn't have a perfect
husband, okay, and I know you're never gonna have this perfect husband, but it
says here that you should be desiring to do good to him, okay, even when he's a bit
off, even when he does a bit of wrong, your desire ought to be do good and not
get revenge on him, you know, and it says that all the days of her life, hey,
marriage is for life, okay, again, another reason why it's so important to choose
the right partner, it's for life, okay, and you want to be happy for the rest of
your life, you want to find someone that you can truly love for the rest of your
life, make sure you make that right decision, and I'd say to the girls, speak
to your dads, because, you know, I don't think there's gonna be very few people
besides your dad that would want to make sure you make the best decision in your
marriage, you know, I would run, you know, any relationship, I know we have young
girls, one day you're gonna grow up, you're gonna be interested in getting
married, I'd say run that decision, the man that you're interested in, to your dad,
and get your dad's advice, okay, get your dad's advice, but yeah, I mean, she will
do him good, and I'm thinking about praising their husbands, you know, because
the husband does go out and work and provide, and there's nothing sweeter than
hearing your wife say thank you, you know, thank you for going to work, thank you
for providing, hey, we've got enough, you know, food in our bellies, we've got
enough money to be able to run it, you know, the house and the resources, you
know, men appreciate being thanked, and what we're gonna see here later on is
that the women too need to be thanked and praised, okay, look at verse 13, she
seeketh wool and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands, okay, so wool
and flax, it says here that a housewife, basically, let me read that again, nice
and loud, she seeketh wool and flax and worketh, okay, now my wife, since I've
been married, has been a stay-at-home wife, and you know what people say to me,
is your wife ever going to work, or why doesn't your wife work, and I'm like, are
you crazy, she works more than all you women, they put together, she works
probably harder than I have in some of the, you know, the cosy office jobs that
I've had, okay, the virtuous woman works, because being a housewife, being there
submissive to the husband, looking after the family, looking after the children, is
hard work, okay, it's not a cosy, cushy job, feet up, watching Dr. Phil, no, you know,
you've got your attention on your kids, you're concerned about the laundry,
you know, concerned about cleaning the house, you're concerned about food, you
know, all these kind of things, and all the other, you know, things that you need to
get done, you know, if you're, if you're teaching your kids, the education of your
kids, hey, you're taking on multiple work, right, at least the schoolteacher, all
they need to worry about is teaching the kids, the housewife teaches the kids, and
does all these other things, they do a good work, they work hard, and as we see
here, this is an example here in, in verse number six, sorry, verse number 13, it says
she's sick of wool and flax, now wool, as you guys probably know, come from sheep
or even goats, you can get wool out of goats and sheep, and flax is a, is a plant,
it's a vegetable, some linen is made out of vegetables, some linens are made out of,
you know, animal, you know, coats and wool and things like that, I think what it's
saying here is that, you know, in this case, and you know, I don't think any of us
have farms or anything like that, right, but in this case, she uses the resources
that are available to her, whether that's animals or whether that's plants, and she
uses the resources in her house to look after her household, obviously with this
linen, with this fabric, she makes clothing, okay, now you're gonna say, well
are you saying, Kevin, that, you know, we ought to, you know, start making our own
clothes, I'm not saying that, okay, in this day and age, it's probably easier to get
a Kmart and spend five bucks on a shirt or something, I don't know, maybe it's
more than that, ten bucks, okay, then spending your time, it's probably gonna
cost you more to actually put the effort in and get all, you know, do the work to
have this fabric to work, but the point is, she's a working woman, okay, she's a
working woman, and what I want you to understand here is she works with these
fabrics in this day and age there, and she develops those skills, okay, I don't
want you to think that a housewife is this unskilled, untrained woman, no, it's
important to develop skills in your life, and I would say, mothers, you know, I teach
your girls to develop skills, you know, you know what it takes to run a
household, to run a household effectively, you probably even know what you wish you
knew when you got married, hey, these are things that you ought to be teaching
your daughters, you know, when my mum got married, my mum came from a pretty
rich family, like for their standards, and they had servants, and the servants
would do everything around the house, when my mum got married, she didn't even
know how to make a cup of tea, I feel sorry for my dad, my dad married my mum,
actually I feel sorry for my mum, anyway, don't worry, I won't go there, but she didn't even know how to make a cup of tea,
alright, so after getting married, she had to learn all these skills, but it would
have been ideal, obviously, that she would have learnt that growing up, you know,
that the servants weren't doing everything, that's what happens, I guess,
sometimes when you've got a bit of money, you get other people to do things, but
hey, we'll say this woman had money, okay, she's able to buy vineyards, she's able to
buy lands, but even she gets in and develops skills, develops handiworks, it's
never too late to develop skills, okay, look at verse 14, by the way, by skills,
I'm talking about things like cooking skills, you know, you know, educating your
daughters are important, okay, educating your daughters, why, so they can then
educate their kids as they grow up, you know, pass on the knowledge that you've
developed in your family. Verse 14, she's like the merchants' ships, she brings her
food from afar, now this is not saying you've got to travel far distances to
get food, okay, it's using an analogy here, she's like the merchant ships, so
it's like the freight ships that take, you know, goods from one nation to another
nation, you know, multiple ships, hey, you know, she's able to travel and get
food, you know, she's interested in finding the best quality food for the
best price that she can get, you know, she doesn't want to just be the kind of
woman that cooks, you know, frozen meals all the time, you know, microwavable meals,
okay, she's not always looking for the lowest quality food, she's there trying
to get the best she can to feed her family, she's after looking after her
family, okay, not constantly eating out, because that's very expensive, I'm not
against eating out, okay, but not constantly doing that, because it's very
expensive, and not always making those microwave dishes, which again, I'm not
totally against, hey, but the low quality, it's not healthy for your family if
you make food like that, hey, you know, like a merchant ship going out, getting
all kinds of produce, best quality, best price, that's how she is, okay, verse
15, she riseth also while it is yet night, so she's an early riser, okay, she
starts early, okay, and giveth meat to her household and a portion to her
maidens, so you can see that one of her priorities is to make sure that her
household are fed, okay, and she rises up early, I guess for breakfast, making sure
that they start on a good diet, they start on a good meal, a lot of people say
breakfast is the most important meal of the day, I don't know if that's true,
that's what they say, but hey, she's up early making sure that her family can be
fed, and it says here, and a portion to her maidens, you know what maidens are?
They're servants, servant ladies, now, let me say a couple of things here
about this chapter, because if you look at this chapter, it's a huge ask to do
all these things, what I want you to understand, as we'll look at this soon, is
that this virtuous woman here had servants, had maid servants there to help,
because in some of these households, especially if it's King Solomon, okay, you
know, that they would have the servants, and I just told you about how
my mum had a lot of servants where she didn't lift a finger, okay, now there's
nothing wrong with having servants, there's nothing wrong with having help,
in fact right now my mother-in-law has travelled from Sydney to help my wife
out with with a newborn baby, nothing wrong with having help, okay, but don't be
to the point where you've got enough help that you don't even lift a finger
yourself, hey you need to know what's going on, you need to be the one that
takes control, if you're a housewife and you're able, and Australia, I guess we
can't afford maid servants in Australia, but let's say we were in a nation where
we had that, you would still be the manager, if you want, of those maid
servants, they might carry out a lot of the work, but you're still having your
hands on top of what's going on, that's what the virtuous woman would do, okay, and
this is why, by the way, she was able to accomplish a lot, because she did have
help, okay, so I don't want you to look at this list and go, man this is
impossible for me to do, I understand the situation she was in, she had help, and
one thing that I'll say to the, you know, wives and mothers, your kids, okay, are a
big help, you can train them as they grow up to do little things around their
house, to do chores around their house, hey you're still in control, you're telling
them what to do and how often it needs to get done, hey, but use the help you've
got, you know, if you take, unfortunately, you know, a lot of families have this
children in schools, when they're in schools, they can't help you while they're
away, right, but when they're at home, they can get the work done, they can get
the chores done during their breaks, or after school work is done, hey, you can
have a lot of help if you give it thought, you don't need to get the maid
servants, you can use your own kids, okay, look at verse 16, she considerth a field
and buyeth it, so do you see how her husband trusts her with money, she sees a
field, she goes, hey, this is a good investment, you know, this is going to
profit our family, then she goes out and buys it, okay, with the fruit of her hands
she planteth a vineyard, so we definitely see here the husband trusting her with
the finances, and, you know, again, I'll just say, I'm not trying to boast, I'm
just telling the truth, you know, with Christina, I trust her 100% of the
finances, I don't put any restrictions on her, she can spend whatever she needs to
spend, every now and again, if it's a little expensive, she'll run it by me, but
she'll tell you nine to nine out of a hundred times, I'm like, yeah, just do it,
like, why are you asking me, just, just buy it, you know, because the virtuous woman
isn't just trying to spend money for no reason, all right, she's looking how can I
help, you know, she's, you know, obviously not trying to, you know, she's looking for
the discounts, looking for the vouchers, making sure that, you know, if we're going
to buy something, first of all, we need it, or secondly, it's going to help us in
the future with this investment here in the vineyard, you know, and, you know,
that's, that's, you can see this woman isn't this stay-at-home slave, she's
smart enough to know there's investments to be had, and this can help the family,
okay, and I also think this is a little bit symbolic, you know, because not all of
us can afford a vineyard, not all our wives are going to look at Aura and go,
wow, there's 800 square meters there, we can afford, I'm just going to go and buy
it, of course that's not going to happen, but I also think I'll just read to you,
don't need to turn there, I'm going to read from you, from Psalm 128 verse 3,
Psalm 128 verse 3, it says, thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of
thine house, thy children like olive plants round about thy table, okay, so I
want to take a little bit of a spiritual application there, okay, I know we can't
all buy vineyards, okay, but one thing that a wife can be like a vineyard
herself, raising children, having children, children like olive plants round about
thy table, obviously these kids are well behaved, they're able to sit around the
table, sit still and eat their dinner, you know, it's a running wild, okay, it's the
same kind of idea, hey, if you can't afford the vineyard, that's alright, you
can be that vineyard yourself, you've got that time there to raise your kids,
you've got that time to raise your kids, because what's a greater
investment to you? A piece of land or your own children? Surely it's your own
children that you'd want to spend more time investing them, train them, hopefully
so they don't make the same mistakes that we've made, right, they can do, go
far and beyond above what we've achieved in our lives. Verse 17, verse 17, she
girdeth her loins with strength and strengtheneth her arms. Now again, we know
that women generally and biologically speaking, you know, women are weaker, you
know, physically weaker than a man, but you know, managing a house requires
strength, I mean, as I was going through this, I was thinking about Christina and
she's always on her feet, you know, I mean, even after giving birth, she's on her
feet, because that's what's going to take, right, to look after a house, raising
kids, it's not like you can just sit there and put your feet up all the time,
you know, if you're doing a good job, if you're working, it is work, you're
going to develop strength, okay, she's not lazy, she's not idle, she's constantly
working with her hands and strengthening her arms just by doing the things that
she needs to get done around the house, okay, and I just, I was thinking about, you
know how some girls are too afraid to break a fingernail, you know, they're so
princessy, you know, and look, I'm all for feminists, sorry, I'm all for
feminis-, no, not feminism, I'm all for, what's the word I'm looking for?
Femininity, thank you, I'm all for femininity, alright, I'd rather they be
that princess that's afraid to break their fingernail than try to be some
butch man, okay, but at the same time, she, you know, she can't be afraid to break
that fingernail, she can't be afraid to get her hands a little bit dirty and
work, okay, you know, she's, you know, girls don't think that when you get married
you're marrying some prince and you're gonna live in a castle and you're gonna
have all these servants running around and you're just gonna, I don't know, what
do princesses do? I don't even know, ride unicorns or anything like that,
you know, that's not, that's not real, okay, that's not realistic, okay, we don't live
in Disney, you know, it's, you're not a Disney princess, so, you know, promoting
femininity is important but not to the point that they become a useless, you
know, Disney princess, that's not what you want for your daughters, okay, they need
to be able to work as well, they need to understand that when I get married I've
got to put my effort in and that's the reality of it, okay, strong women, okay,
strong women in that sense, you know, a feminine strong woman, okay, alright, verse
18, she perceiveth that her merchandise is good, her candle goeth not out by
night, wow, so we saw that she rises up early while it's still night and now we
see that her candle goeth not out by night, so she's up late as well, okay,
she's up late as well, she laid her hands to the spindle and her hands hold the
this stuff, I don't even know what the this stuff is, I'm assuming this is, you
know, making clothing or stuff like that, I'm not sure what spindle, I'm thinking of
something that spins and makes linen, anyone know what this stuff is, I should
look that up, I don't know, but obviously she can, she's productive, she's
efficient, you know, she's making clothing, but what I want to point out there to
you guys is that she's up early, yes, to make sure her household is being fed,
but she's up at night still working, okay, because getting married, being a housewife,
being a mother is a 24-7 job, it doesn't end, you know, the last two nights we had
the newborn crying, crying, crying, crying, and I can't help it,
Christina has to breastfeed that baby, she's up, she doesn't get a rest, right,
24-7 she's a mum, 24-7 she's a mum, and this is the kind of idea that I think of
is that, hey, your job as a mother, as a housewife never ends, you know, it starts
from the time you wake up to the time you fall asleep, you know, go to bed, you
know, that's just, that's how it is, you know, she's not idle, she's working, now
you might say, well, hold on, does that mean God doesn't want women to sleep,
you know, up early at night, I'll just quickly read to you Psalm 127 verse 2, it
says, it is vain for you to rise up early and to sit up late to eat the bread of
sorrows, for so he giveth his beloved sleep, you know, God calls you his beloved,
God wants you to sleep, God wants you to recharge your batteries and get the rest,
but doesn't want you waking up early and go to sleep late eating the bread of
sorrows, whoa is my life, or being idle and being a troublemaker, no, he wants us
up, he wants us up and being as productive as we can in our lives, okay,
not to be these idle, you know, full of sorrow people, but being effective, being
productive, these are good reasons to maybe having to stay up at night or
things like that, okay, verse number 20, verse number 20, she stretches out her
hand to the poor, yea she reaches forth her hands to the needy, so you can
see that she's considerate of others that are in need, okay, she's able to see
others in need and offer help, now often when I read these passages in the Bible,
I would like to be more helpful to the needy, but we live in such a rich
nation, I mean I don't even find needy people, like everyone's got what they
need, okay, and actually when I was down in Sydney, I was having lunch with my
brother and we had this lady walk up to us and say hey can you spare a few
change, you know, some dollars, can you spare some change, you know, I've got to
catch the bus from here to some location, now if you've, you know, if that's the
first time you come across someone like that, you might get fooled by it, but
that's, it's the same story every time with these people, right, I know she's not
needy, I know she's just going around collecting money and she's probably
going to, you know, go to the to the pub and drink alcohol with the money that
she collects, okay, that's, Australians are not needy, okay, and I was just
talking, what did I talk to you about this, like homeless Australians are homeless
on purpose, honestly, because even in Australia, the government gives you a
house, you know, there's a lot of people that, you know, have Housing Commission, I
don't really see this happen, but I just want to, I do want to apply this to
someone in some ways, and you know, again, I want to think about our church family
that we have, you know, obviously I would love to see our church, and I think we
have a great church, I think we have a solid church that actually cares for
each other, but I want you to just be mindful, if you do see someone in our
church that has a need, hey, and you can fulfill that need, then offer, you know,
offer that, otherwise ask them, hey, is there anything that I can be praying for
you about, is there anything that I can do to help you, you know, I'm thinking
about, you know, you know, well, Christina's got a mum helping her, but I'm thinking
of Yasmin, first time mum, hey, she might need some help, she might need, you know,
you know, maybe we can, you know, I don't know if she'd be interested in pizza,
we can order pizza, send it her way once in a while, just do little things that we
can be helpful to one another, okay, but women, this is something that you
guys are actually better at, men, we don't really notice when people are in need,
but women actually pick these things up a lot more,
but you can see that she's considerate, the virtuous women, and she's generous, and I
believe the reason why she's generous is because she doesn't waste her money, okay,
we saw this, her husband trusts her, she takes care of all the things, and she
still has left over in order to help other people, she's generous to
others, but she ensures that her family is taken care of as well, verse 21, she's
not afraid of the snow for her household, for all her household are clothed with
scarlet, so she's not afraid of the winter months, we don't have snow here,
it's never snowed up here on the Sunshine Coast, no, okay, she's not afraid of snow,
she's not afraid of the cold weather, why? Because she's well prepared, you know,
she's got warm clothing for her family, she's got warm clothing for her kids,
she's thought that through, hey, it's gonna get cold these few months, I want
to make sure that there's enough jumpers and jackets and things to keep us warm,
that's why she's not afraid of the snow to come, she's not afraid of that, and
says there, for all her household are clothed with scarlet, now scarlet is a
bright red color, now, you know, no one's dressed in scarlet right here, does
that mean no one's a virtual swimmer? No, I think what's being said here is
because, you know, in winter, you know, people think of it like it as, if you see
people wear winter clothing, it's not normally like black and gray and
sort of colorless, but when it gets to spring and summer, it's a lot more
colorful, okay, so what I think this is talking about here is
that even in winter, the family is dressed well, even in winter, hey, you know,
they've got bright and happy clothing, is what I think is going on, they aren't
dressed in daggy old clothing that's falling apart, she makes sure that her
family is taken care of, and as you can see, a lot of this stuff is common sense,
you know, when you think of a housewife, you know, clothing the
family, feeding the family, looking after the household, all these things are true,
all these things are found here in this chapter, verse 22, she maketh herself
coverings of tapestry, her clothing is silk and purple, so she doesn't just take
care of the clothing of a family, hey, she dresses up a little bit herself, when
you think of the clothing of silk and purple, it's often associated with
royalty, right, royalty clothing, hey, she gets material and colors associated
with royalty, hey, she tries to look nice, she tries to look presentable, you know,
it's not like she, you know, she's, you know, trying to look like, you know, look
trashy with her hair uncombed, you know, in the worst kind of clothing, you know,
she tries to look, you know, hopefully attractive for her husband, but also
presentable to other people around her, look at verse 23, her husband is known in
the gates when he sits up among the elders of the land, and I don't want to
talk about two husbands here, but I think this goes back to the
idea of who are you going to marry, what kind of man are you going to be looking
for, because look at the wise decision she made, she married a man that is known
in the gates, he's got a good reputation, okay, he's got a good reputation, he's a
man of good character, hopefully a man of godly character, and he sit up among the
elders of the land, meaning that he's wise, he's got knowledge, okay, he's wise,
he's knowledgeable, a wise man, good character, good reputation, that's the man you need
to be looking for, not the bad boy, you know, not the one that's, you know,
drinking alcohol, getting drunk, taking drugs, wasting his money, that's not the
guy you're looking to marry, you should be looking for someone with godly
character, good reputation, wise, who loves the Lord, okay, she made a right
decision here in who she married, verse 24, she make a fine linen and selleth it
and delivereth girdles unto the merchant, so she helps with the finances, you know,
nothing wrong with making a little bit of money, it's not the fact that a
woman makes money that I'm against, I'm just, I'm against us sending our women
into the workforce who aren't looking after their children, they put their
children in the hands of other people, and then the husbands aren't really being
the main breadwinner, okay, they give that responsibility onto their wives,
that's wrong, hey, there's nothing wrong with a wife making a bit of money, you
know, again, I'm just giving you examples of my wife when she had more
time and she had less kids, you know, the kids would grow out of clothing, she'd
sell it on eBay, make a bit of profit, you know, sometimes, you know, in winter,
she'd buy summer clothes, secondhand summer clothes, in summer, she'd buy
secondhand winter clothes, and because she bought it out of season, she bought
like great quality clothing, stuff that would be in the wash, you'd put in the
wash, it would still look brand new, and then she'd sell it, like thirdhand, and
many times, and she'd sell it in season, right, and so when you're buying it, like
selling it in season, obviously you're gonna get more money for it, and many times
she was able to sell the same clothing thirdhand for more than what she
purchased secondhand that first time, okay, now we don't do that so much now
because we've got so many kids, it's all passed me downs, by the time it gets to
the last one, it's ripped and falling apart anyway, and so we don't do that
so much, but look, if there's nothing wrong with a woman finding a way to make a
bit of money and helping out, as long as the other priorities are in place first,
okay, verse 26, sorry, what was I, did I miss one, 25, right, yeah, verse 25,
strength and honor are her clothing, and she shall rejoice in time to come, so I
spoke about how a woman, you know, does look after herself, make sure she's
presentable, dresses well, but what is her actual clothing, this is obviously, it
says here that it's strength and honor, okay, so a woman, yes, ought to try to
look pretty, nice, attracted to her husband, but what really should be
clothed with is strength and honor, okay, these are qualities, these are moral
qualities about themselves, if you can keep your finger there, please turn to
1st Timothy chapter 2, 1st Timothy chapter 2, 1st Timothy chapter 2 verse 9,
1st Timothy chapter 2 verse 9, now I'm going to read this verse, and I'll tell
you how a lot of people misinterpret this verse, but verse number 9, 1st
Timothy chapter 2 verse 9, it says here, in like manner also, that women adorn
themselves in modest apparel, with shame-facedness and sobriety, not with
broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array, but which becometh women
professing godliness with good works, so some people have misunderstood this
verse, I've heard it taught that, the Bible is teaching here, that it's
wrong for women to fix their hair up, you know, to braids, is that broided, must be
braids, or to put on jewelry, says they're, you know, of not gold, or pearls, or costly
array, that's not what it's saying, okay, it's not saying that it's sinful or
wrong for a woman to dress up a little bit, fix their hair, put a bit of, you
know, makeup or jewelry, it's not saying that's wrong, okay, but that ought not to
be what they're known for, okay, that's not, that ought not to be the main thing
about a woman, okay, the main thing there, that women adorn themselves in modest
apparel with shame-facedness and sobriety, okay, so these, these are
important qualities that a woman needs to adorn herself with, let's talk about
that shame-facedness there, okay, shame-facedness means basically not just
modest in clothing, but modest in their personality, modest in their personality,
not seeking to be the center of attention, okay, not seeking to be that
loud, obnoxious woman that frustrates everybody, okay, no, hey, have some shame,
have some modesty, you know, again, that submissive to your husband kind of thing,
and it says sobriety as well, so not a woman that's silly and immature, but
someone that is serious and responsible, a woman that is serious and responsible,
that is modest, that's how a woman ought to clothe herself, okay, and as we saw in
in Proverbs 31, strength and honor, an honorable woman, okay, but when you look
at the opposite, you know, a lot of, a lot of women these days, especially in our,
you know, newer, newer generations, are those loud, obnoxious women, right, they
are the silly and immature women, okay, and they're foolish, and men take
advantage of them, men abuse them, take advantage of them, and then they wonder
why they can never settle down and find a husband, okay, because they're not wife
material, okay, they're not wife material, and you have the worldly men that just
take advantage, you know, and, you know, but really they're looking for a better
woman as for a wife, okay, they get all the attention now, but, you know, they're
not taken seriously, okay, they're not taken seriously, so we need to make sure
that, yes, I do, you know, I do think it's nice for a woman to look presentable, look
nice, fix themselves up, you know, look nice for their husbands, all that kind of
stuff, but more important is your character, and that's really, a lot of
this is character building for a woman, okay, verse 26, back to Proverbs 31,
please, Proverbs 31, verse 26, she opened up her mouth with wisdom, she's wise, you
know, women, you need to strive for wisdom, and in her tongue is a law of
kindness, boy I've met some really unkind women in my life, all right, women
that just want to attack, women that just want to destroy, women that want to
destroy anybody else's happiness because they, they're miserable, and, no, you know,
a virtuous woman has a tongue of kindness, okay, they're there to lift up
others, to edify one another, hey, if a woman is speaking to another woman that
has problems, they're not trying to tear them down, they're just trying to lovingly
give them counsel and advice with kindness, that's what you need to be
working toward, I think a lot of women struggle with this area, in this area, I'm
not saying anyone here, I don't know, husbands maybe, you know, I don't know,
I don't know your wives, but I'm just saying, I do see this as a major issue
among a lot of women today, not having that tongue of kindness, you know,
she has wisdom, and I often think about the fact that this woman, she's
slower to speak, she considers things that happen, you know, is thoughtful about
the situation, and then speaks, okay, because we're very tempted when we, when
we're very opinionated, you know, when someone does something wrong, we're very
tempted to speak quickly, but when you do that, you can speak a lot of foolishness,
you can speak a lot of unkind words, okay, now if, if you see me sometimes just go
quiet, it's because I'm thinking about something kind to say, okay, because it
takes time, right, it takes time to be thoughtful, to think of something wise
and kind to say, it takes more work, hey, but the virtuous woman is able to do
that, she's able to accomplish that. Verse 27, she looketh well to the ways of her
household, and eateth not the bread of idleness, we already discussed that, you
know, she's not idle, she's got a lot of work to do, you know, and a lot, you know,
people get turned off by work, but again, if we're, if we're striving and we're
doing the things that God has, has given us instinctive to do, and we're
accomplishing those things, and we're being successful in those things, it's
going to give you great joy, it's going to give you great satisfaction to do
these things, it's not depressing to work, a lot of people think, oh man, I just
want to get the day over so I can rest and enjoy the, hey, you can actually find
enjoyment in work, as long as you're doing it right, in the right ways, okay,
and if, if as a wife you're looking after your husband, looking after your family,
and you put that as your priority, and stop listening to the feminists on the
television, you are going to find great joy in your life, you are going to find
great satisfaction in your life. She'll look of well to the ways of her
household. Verse 28, I'm almost done here, it says her children arise up, so she
desires to have children, she wants to be a mother, you know, she wants to have more
than one child, children, her children arise up and call her blessed, hey, her
children praise her, okay, now if you hear children praising their mum, you
probably have a virtuous woman on your hands there, because even the children
recognise her value, even children recognise this is a great mum that I
have, and kids, let me say, you ought to be praising your mums, they work real
hard, you know, to raise you, to love you, and to nurture you, and then it says here,
her husband also, and he praises her, he praises, men, we need to praise our wives,
we need to praise our wives, they work hard, they do, they work hard, they raise
the kids, look after us, you know, sometimes when you're at work you don't
see all the work that they do, you know, and they might feel underappreciated, and
I think what we'll see here in the next few verses, is that women, you know, are
virtuous women, stay-at-home mothers that are looking after their families, need to
be praised, we'll see this not just in verse 28, okay, verse 29 here is an
example of the praise, you know, how he praises her, it says, many daughters have
done virtuously, but thou excelleth them all, so this is like the husband saying
to his wife, hey, wife, you know, there's a lot of good women out there, a lot of
good mothers, a lot of good wives out there, but thou excelleth them all,
you're better than all of them, you know, that's the kind of praise that you
need to be saying to your wife, okay, they cook a good dish, honey, that's the best
meal I've had, that's the best spaghetti bolognese I've ever eaten, and that's
gonna give them, you know, joy and praise, you know, don't say, I was good but, you
know, the lady in church, you know, cooked better last time, that's not praising
your wife, okay, that's not praising your wife, you're the best, you're the best,
verse 30, favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the
Lord, she shall be praised, okay, so the virtuous woman fears the Lord, she's
spiritual, she's godly, she wants to know the things of the Lord, you know, she's in
a position to teach her kids, she should be teaching them the Bible and training
them of doctrines, okay, that's a great place for you to take, you know, not in
the church, not to stand up behind the pulpit teaching the Word of God, but you
can teach your kids at home, even better, teach your kids so they can know the
Word of God, fear in the Lord, she's been praised, she shall be praised, you
see that, she's praised for being a godly wife, praised for being a spiritual woman,
praised for fearing the Lord, that's something else they ought to be praised
for, that's something else a virtuous woman ought to be doing, right, getting
into the Bible, wanting, desiring the Word of God, and again we've already discussed
this last week, men, you're the spiritual head, you should be teaching your wives
as well, okay, verse 31, give her, look at this, give her of the fruit of her hands,
hey your wife is not your slave, okay, she works, she deserves the fruit of her
hands, she deserves reward, she deserves, you know, I don't know if they're into
flowers, she deserves flowers once in a while with a box of chocolates, she
deserves to be taken out on a date, she deserves having a nice little gift from
you once in a while, she deserves, you know, everything that she's working for,
okay, it's not like, well that's your job anyway, you know, get in the kitchen and
make me a sandwich, all right, now you might have that attitude sometimes if
the sandwich isn't there, but I'm just saying, hey, if they do the work, they
ought to be given, they ought to be rewarded and praised, look at this, and let her own
works praise her in the gates, you ought to be speaking well of your wife,
you know, I don't know if, we probably don't do this all that much because we're
doing Bible study, hey, but, you know, we ought to be praising our wives, you know,
we have to be praising the works that our wives have done, we have to be praising
her so that her own works are praised in the gates, that it's heard by other
people, you ought to be talking up your wife, all right, look at verse, look at
verse 28 again, verse 28, and he praised of her, verse 30, she shall be praised,
verse 31, her own works praise her in the gates, hey, this virtuous woman ought to
be praised, ought to be praised, ought to be praised, you know what this tells me is
that women that work hard like this are going to get to a point where they don't
feel valued, they don't feel appreciated, which means we need to remind them to
praise them, okay, and again, if they're listening to this world, if
they're listening to their ungodly family and friends, if they're listening
to the media, they're going to feel, they're going to be told they're
undervalued, they're going to be told you're wasting your life raising your
kids, they're going to be told you can be doing greater things for your life, and
that's why we need to praise them for what they do, we need to praise them for
what they do because the world is not praising them, okay, it's not like the
world's being quiet, the world's actually putting them down, that's what's going on,
the opposite to what the Word of God says, and so mothers, wives, if you're a
stay-at-home mother, raising your kids, striving to be this virtuous woman, you
know, you might say well my husband's not really praising me, look God praises you,
this is the Word of God, and he says you're worthy of being praised, and just
husbands, look seriously, they probably deserve a little more than what
we're giving them sometimes, you know, what did it say there? Again in verse 31
give her of the fruit of her hands, you know, this tells me that she's not looking
to reward herself, others need to step in and value her, and reward her, and praise
her, okay. Now just in conclusion guys, just in conclusion, I'll get you to turn
to, I'll get you to turn to Proverbs chapter 12, since you're in Proverbs
already, Proverbs chapter 12, now this word virtuous or the term virtuous woman
only appears three times in the Bible, so I've already covered the first time
where it's covered, that's in Proverbs 31, I just want to quickly, just in
conclusion, cover the other two places where we find it, so we get a little bit
more information, but we won't spend too much time on it, you guys turn to Proverbs
chapter 12, and I'll just, I'll read to you from Ruth chapter 3, now I'm
not sure if you guys are familiar with Ruth in the Bible, she's actually one of
the, not descendants, how would you say it, of Jesus Christ, one of the
ancestors, one of the ancestors of Jesus Christ, and it says here in Ruth chapter
3 verse 11, she married Boaz, maybe you're familiar with the guy
called Boaz in the Bible, Ruth chapter 3 verse 11, it says Boaz speaking to Ruth
who he marries, it says, and now my daughter fear not, I will do to thee all
that thou requirest, for all the city of my people doth know that thou art a
virtuous woman. Now I guess the only thing I want to drive from there is that
a woman that is virtuous, Boaz who was, who ended up marrying her, says hey I
will do all that you require, meaning that if you strive to be this virtuous
woman, your husband's going to be driven to do more for you, your husband's going
to be driven to to fulfill all your needs and all your requirements that you
have, okay, you might be saying my husband does not appreciate it, hey maybe work
toward being that virtuous woman, he's going to get to a point where he can't
help himself but do everything he can to to to lift you up and to supply your
every need, okay, but go to Proverbs chapter 12 verse 4, let's look at the
other reference, Proverbs chapter 12 verse 4, it says a virtuous woman is a
crown to her husband, wow, a valuable crown, you know, it makes your husband
a virtuous woman will make your husband look better than he is, that's the truth,
you know, if I didn't have Christina I wouldn't look as good as I do, I think of
her as a virtuous woman, okay, I'm not saying she's perfect, you know, none of us
are perfect, we can all work to all these things, but hey you can actually make
your husband look better in front of everybody, okay, by just being that
virtuous, faithful wife, you know, and what's a crown, you know, it's something
that's valuable, something that it adds authority to that man, it adds
respectability to that man, okay, you can actually cause your husband to be
respected in the community just by being a great wife, just by being that this
great woman, but look at the flip side, it says but she that maketh ashamed is as
rottenness in his bones, wow, right, a woman that a wife that a man is ashamed
of, it's like a rotting of your bones, makes you sickly, it's just
the opposite to the virtuous woman, she's an embarrassment to her husband, okay, so
I just want to end with that, which one are you going to be, are you going to be
that crown to your husband or are you going to be like rottenness to his bones,
that's what the Bible says, I didn't make that up, okay, you're gonna choose between
one of those two things, what are you going to strive to do, alright, let's
pray.