Dear God, just thank you for your word.
Thank you for this church and for our pastor.
Just ask that you would just fill in with your spirit now
as he preaches your word to us.
Please just bless the preaching
and the rest of the service.
In Jesus' name we pray, amen.
Amen.
Okay, the title of the sermon this morning
is Shut Your Mouth.
Shut your mouth.
And ironically, this is actually a sermon on discretion,
believe it or not.
And lest anyone should think that the title's too crass
or rude or it's uncalled for,
it's actually a biblical concept.
Look at verse number 17, or excuse me, chapter 17
and verse 28.
It says, even a fool, when he holdeth his peace,
is counted wise, and he that shutteth his lips
is esteemed a man of understanding, the Bible says.
Now the lips obviously is the fleshly folds
forming the margins of the mouth, right?
So in biblical times it would say hold your peace
or shut your lips.
But today in modern 2021 America,
the equivalent would be just shut up
or shut your mouth, right?
You say, man, that seems a little rude,
seems a little crass.
But let me just say this,
sometimes this is a very necessary admonition
and instruction to give any individual
who just doesn't know how to keep their mouth shut, okay?
And sometimes as the Bible says,
hey, if you wanna be a man of understanding,
you wanna be an individual of wisdom
and understanding and knowledge,
the greatest thing that you can do is just shut your mouth.
And this is actually considered a virtue
that God desires that we acquire, okay?
Verse 27 says this, he that hath knowledge
spareth his words, the Bible says,
and a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit.
You would think that it's the exact opposite, right?
You know, you would think, well,
someone who has knowledge wants to disperse knowledge.
If someone who knows something is an expert
in a specific category or a topic or a subject,
that they would wanna disperse that to others
and just kinda explain it to others
and constantly talk and constantly instruct
and constantly teach, but it's actually the exact opposite.
Someone who actually has knowledge, real knowledge,
and real wisdom, real prudence,
will actually spare their words.
They'll use their words sparingly.
Why?
Well, because of the fact that wisdom is likened
unto rubies and treasure and gold, and you know what?
You don't wanna just give rubies and treasures
and gold to any person, right?
You wanna make sure that you invest it
in the right location to the right person
because you don't wanna waste knowledge.
You don't wanna waste wisdom.
You don't wanna waste any type of judgment.
Therefore, the person who has knowledge
will use it sparingly, okay?
Will spare their words, won't speak all the time.
They are considered a person of an excellent spirit
because of that.
Verse 28 again says, even a fool,
when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise.
You ever met someone where they just don't talk at all
and you're like, okay, this person, you know,
he must know some things,
or he's probably a wise individual.
He's always assessing the situation.
Why?
Because typically when you see an individual
who just doesn't say anything at all,
the Bible tells us that they're holding their peace
and people often have a tendency
to count them as wise individuals.
Now go to Psalm 141.
Psalm 141, if you would.
I'm gonna read to you from Proverbs 5, verse number one.
It says, my son, attend unto my wisdom
and bow thine ear to my understanding,
that thou mayest regard discretion
and that thy lips may keep knowledge.
So keep this in mind.
When the Bible tells us to regard discretion,
pay attention to discretion, value discretion,
it's synonymous with keeping knowledge.
Having your lips keep knowledge.
Knowledge is basically something that you know,
information that you have, and the Bible tells us,
hey, regard discretion by making sure
that your lips guard knowledge,
not just disperse it whenever you have
the opportunity to do so.
Proverbs chapter 12 and verse 23 says this.
A prudent man concealeth knowledge,
but the heart of fools proclaimeth foolishness.
Think about that.
So it says a man who is prudent,
a man who is wise will conceal knowledge.
Okay?
They're not always just spouting off the mouth.
And it says, but the person who has a heart of a fool
will constantly proclaim what?
Foolishness.
Okay?
So this is what's known as being discreet
or having discretion.
And look folks, this is an important virtue to have.
And I'll be honest with you, I'll be transparent with you.
This is something that even I have had to work on
throughout the years because of the fact
that I'm a very extroverted type of person.
I don't know if you noticed that.
You know, I like to talk to people.
I enjoy fellowshipping with people.
But you know what the Bible says?
In a multitude of words, there wanteth not sin.
So guess what?
The more you speak, the more you talk,
the more likely it is that you're gonna sin with your mouth.
Okay?
To have discretion or to be discreet
is closely related to the manner in which you use your mouth.
And more often than not, an individual
is esteemed a man of discretion
if he just keeps his mouth shut.
Now Benjamin Franklin once said,
and of course he's a great hero of the faith.
I'm being facetious here.
You know, obviously the guy, I don't know much about the guy
and I don't think he's a Christian.
I know he wasn't a Christian.
But you know, he said, he actually made a pretty good quote
that actually matches up with the Bible.
He said, better to remain silent and to be thoughtful
than to speak and to remove all doubt.
Let me read that again.
Better to remain silent and be thoughtful
than to speak and to remove all doubt.
So what is he saying?
Well, he's basically saying, look,
it's better to just keep your mouth shut
and people think that you're stupid
and you think that you're a fool
and they can pass judgment on you
rather than you actually open your mouth
and people are like, well, you just validated
what I thought about you.
You just remove all doubt.
I have faith that you're a fool
because of the fact that you've proven that, okay?
And that is a biblical concept, folks.
Look at Psalm 141, verse number one.
This is all introduction.
And let me just be honest with you.
Today is gonna be an uncomfortable sermon, okay?
But you know what?
We can't just have all roses and daisies
and you know, we can't just have all just sermons
about sodomites and reprobates
and end times Bible prophecy.
Sometimes we gotta talk about life, right?
We gotta talk about things that pertain to life
and godliness and this is one of them.
Look at Psalm 141, verse one.
It says, Lord, I cry unto thee, make haste unto me,
give ear unto my voice when I cry unto thee.
Let my prayer be set forth before thee as incense
and the lifting up of my hands as the evening sacrifice.
Look what it says in verse three.
Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth.
Keep the door of my lips.
That's powerful.
Now what is a watch?
It means a guard, right?
Someone who's keeping watch is basically someone
who is keeping guard of a castle, of a house,
of an organization, whatever it may be.
And David here is saying, Lord, help me to set a watch
over my mouth and keep the door of my lips.
Why is he saying that?
Is it so nothing comes in?
No, is it so the wrong thing doesn't come out, right?
It is not that which goeth into the mouth
of the fileth of the man, but that which cometh
out of the mouth is that which defileth the man.
So David understands this.
He understands that the heart is deceitful above all things
and desperately wicked, and sometimes,
if you're not in the spirit, you're gonna say things
that are offensive, you're gonna say things that are sinful,
you're gonna say things that are inappropriate,
that are indiscreet, and it's for that reason
that he says, Lord, set a watch over my mouth.
Help me to think about what I'm gonna say before I say it.
Keep the door of my lips.
Help me not to just open it and let anything fly
out of my mouth.
We're talking about discretion this morning, okay?
Discretion.
Now, if I were to define what discretion is,
I would break it up into three categories, okay?
Category number one, what is discretion?
Discretion is using your freedom to speak
and not abusing it.
Using your freedom and liberty to speak,
but not abusing it.
How many times have you ever heard this?
Well, I was right, though.
You know, someone says something that's offensive,
someone says something that is a little crass
or a little rude, and it's the truth,
and it's just like, well, it's true, though.
Yeah, but here's the thing, discretion is using
your freedom to speak, using your freedom to tell the truth,
but not abusing it, okay?
Using your words sparingly, as the Bible would say,
he that hath knowledge, spareth his words.
Wouldn't you agree that it's always right
to give knowledge, right?
But here we see that the person who has knowledge
actually spares his words, okay?
So definition number one would be this,
discretion is using your freedom to speak
and not abusing it.
Number two, discretion could be defined as this,
identifying a problem and having the wisdom
to provide a solution, okay?
Identifying a problem and having the wisdom
to provide a solution.
Here's the thing, most people are excellent
at identifying a problem.
I know that for a fact, I've been in ministry
for 14 years, and everyone has this ability, this gift,
to point out problems to me all the time.
But you know what, not everyone has the gift
to provide a solution.
People like bringing the problem and saying,
here's the problem, you're the pastor, fix it,
but they don't necessarily exercise the discretion
to bring also the solution.
You see, an individual who has true discretion
not only has good judgment, but they also have
the discretion to say, here's the problem,
but let me provide a solution to that problem, okay?
Don't be a church member that only brings problems, right?
Now look, folks, we live in a real world
where we have issues, we have problems,
you have problems, you have issues,
there's issues in the church, there's issues,
you know, there's problems in a church,
not right now, but I'm just saying like,
just in general, you know, sometimes people
have problems, and the solution is not,
well, I'm just gonna bring it to the pastor.
Well, I'm just gonna tell everyone about the problem.
See, that's what they think the solution is.
But the solution is not that.
The solution is, that's called judgment.
Judgment is bringing the problem to the person
and say, hey, here's a problem, we have an issue.
Discretion is, here's a solution that I wanna provide, okay?
Now go to Genesis chapter 41, if you will,
Genesis chapter 41.
So discretion, judgment are closely tied, closely related,
because you have to judge the situation, right?
As a pastor, I constantly have to judge the situation,
you know, say this is wrong, this is right,
this is what we're gonna do, this is what we're not
gonna do, but discretion is not only identifying
the issue or the problem, it's creating a solution, okay?
Be a problem solver is what I'm saying.
Anybody knows how to identify a problem.
That's easy.
The skill comes in providing a solution.
Genesis 41 verse 38 says, and Pharaoh said
unto his servants, can we find such one as this is,
a man of whom the Spirit of God is?
And Pharaoh said unto Joseph, for as much as God
had showed thee all this, there is none so what
discreet and wise as thou art.
Thou shall be over my house, excuse me,
and according unto thy word shall all my people
be ruled, only in the throne will I be greater than thou.
Now we understand the story of Joseph and Pharaoh.
God had divinely given Pharaoh the dream
of the seven years of plenty and the seven years
of famine that was gonna come upon Egypt.
He was unable to judge or discern what that dream meant.
And so God gave Joseph the judgment to say
this is the interpretation of the dream.
Here's the dream, this is what it means.
When you see the fatted calf and the corn stalks
and all these things, this is what that dream means.
So he brought the interpretation to the problem.
He says let me just interpret the problem for you.
This is the problem that you're gonna face.
You're gonna have seven years of plenty
where you're gonna have an abundance of resources
but then thereafter you're gonna have seven years
of famine and that's when the problem comes.
But hold on a second, did he stop there?
No and in fact Joseph came and said here's the solution.
You need to take 10% of everyone's crops
and everyone's resources so you can gather it together
for seven years and so when that famine comes
people will come to you, they can sell their land,
they can sell whatever, 10% of whatever they have
and they can give it to you and you can succeed
and you can help Egypt to survive.
So he was not only able to assess the situation,
assess the problem and say hey,
here's your problem Pharaoh,
he also came and brought the solution.
See how valuable discretion is?
We wanna raise young men who have discretion.
We wanna raise Christians who know how to assess
and judge the situation but also bring the solution
to the problem, be a problem solver, okay?
Look we wanna benefit those who are being judged
but let me say this, we also wanna gain credibility
in the process.
You don't gain credibility by saying hey,
here's the problem.
You don't gain credibility by saying hey,
here's the issue.
You gain credibility when you bring the problem
you say but here's the solution.
Because you know what other people think like
oh man, this guy actually thought this through,
came up with an idea, brought a solution,
now you gain credibility through that process, okay?
Turn with me if you would to Proverbs chapter 10.
Now obviously the book of Proverbs is the book
that we wanna go to when discussing this matter
of discretion and wisdom and dealing with your mouth,
shutting your mouth, because that's the book
that really talks about it the most.
We're gonna go through different portions of the scripture
but we're mainly gonna stick to the book of Proverbs.
So let me go over these one more time here.
Let me just review these, if I can find my place.
What is discretion?
Discretion, category number one, using your freedom
to speak and not abusing it.
Number two is discretion is identifying a problem
and having the wisdom to provide a solution.
And number three is very basic but it's very important,
please don't miss this and this is what we're mainly
gonna talk about for the rest of the sermon.
Discretion is this, being appropriate
under any given circumstance.
Being appropriate under any given circumstance.
Proverbs 10 verse 32 says this,
the lips of the righteous know what is acceptable.
But the mouth of the wicked speaketh forwardness.
So the Bible's saying this is that a righteous man,
a righteous woman's lips, what do they do?
They know what is acceptable to say and when to say it.
Proverbs chapter 16, go to Proverbs chapter 16
and verse 23, let me ask you a question this morning.
You don't have to answer because every time I say this,
there's someone who says yeah, they answer.
Do you know what is acceptable?
Ask yourself that question.
In any given situation, around any individual,
do you know, can you discern, do you have the discretion
to know what is acceptable to say and what isn't?
If you don't, then you need to learn discretion.
Proverbs chapter 16 verse 23 says the heart of the wise
teacheth his mouth, isn't that interesting?
And addeth learning to his lips.
Hey, some Christians need to take their mouths to school.
Sit them down at a desk and say all right,
I'm gonna teach you how to talk.
And I'm not talking about grammar either.
I'm gonna teach you how to be appropriate.
I'm gonna teach you discretion and wisdom and judgment.
I'm gonna teach you timing.
I'm gonna teach you what to say, how to say,
and when to say it because you're a righteous mouth
and you know what, I want you to learn how to speak.
The heart of the wise teacheth his mouth
and addeth learning to his lips.
You know, there's nothing wrong with developing a thought
in your mind of what you're gonna say before you say it.
There's nothing wrong with thinking about what you,
and it sounds funny, right?
But you know what, sometimes people talk and you wonder,
did they think about what they were gonna say
before they said it?
There's nothing wrong with taking a couple minutes
before you speak and say, is this appropriate to say?
Like oh, but that just takes too long.
I'd rather just spout off and just like,
you know, whatever, the chips may fall, you know?
Yeah, but here's the thing.
At that point, you're not a person of discretion.
See, a person of discretion thinks, all right,
this needs to be said but maybe not right now.
Or this needs to be said but not in front
of these individuals.
This needs to be said or this doesn't need to be said.
Or maybe I just need to tell my wife.
I need to gossip about this to my wife instead.
Proverbs five verse two, you don't have to turn this,
says that thou mayest regard discretion
and that thy lips may keep knowledge.
We want to regard discretion.
Go to Psalm 112, if you would, Psalm 112.
Talk about discretion this morning
and I would hope that at the end of the sermon,
you really examine yourself and think about the importance
of having this type of wisdom, having,
you know what I think about when I think about
a lack of discretion?
You're like, hoo, hoo, hoo.
I'll tell you who I think about, children.
Children lack discretion like crazy, right?
They just kind of say whatever comes to their mind,
they just spout it off and you know what?
We as adults, when we hear children speak,
it's just like, all right, well, he's a child.
You know, we kind of, we give them grace,
we give them a lot of mercy, we're long-suffering
towards them because they don't really have a filter.
But you know what we expect is we expect that child
to grow up in stature and in wisdom.
And we expect that as they grow up,
that they begin to develop a filter
and begin to learn discretion and with discretion
comes shame.
How do you learn discretion?
By learning shame.
Because when you are ashamed, then you say,
I'm not gonna say that because that's embarrassing to say.
That's shameful to say.
I might embarrass myself.
I might embarrass the listener of what I'm saying.
Look what the Bible says in Psalm 112, verse five.
A good man showeth favor and lendeth.
He will guide his affairs with discretion.
That's pretty interesting here.
The good man seeks to guide his affairs
and that's really the goal today is to guide our affairs
with discretion, with wisdom, with judgment.
Now let me say this, don't get offended
what I'm gonna preach today.
If you feel like I'm talking about you, I am.
But I'm talking to everyone, okay?
And I'm preaching to myself too
because this is something that yours truly needs as well.
We all need this.
But don't be the individual that thinks,
oh, the pastor's picking on me
and oh, you're just preaching that because of me,
because something that I said.
Yes, of course, that's how I get my sermon material.
I had to be sermon material for years, okay?
I was sermon material for years.
And so, yes, this is for you, this is for everyone.
So let's talk about discretion.
So how do we guide our affairs with discretion?
Here's some things that you can ask yourself
throughout your day or when you're trying
to exercise discretion.
Who, what, when, where, and why.
You know, isn't that what they tell you to do
when you talk about like an article
or someone writing a story?
It's like who, what, when, where, and why.
Regarding discretion in your speech, think about this.
First and foremost, who, who are you saying it to?
So if you have a nugget of truth,
some knowledge that you want to break off,
something that you want to get off your chest,
something that you want to say,
ask yourself this, who are you telling it to
first and foremost, okay?
What am I saying?
Be aware of your surroundings, right?
Be aware of the people who are around you
before you spout off your knowledge.
Be aware, are there children around?
And I'm not talking about things that are sinful.
We're talking about things that are appropriate
or inappropriate, should I say.
Go to Ephesians chapter five if you would.
Ephesians chapter five.
There's certain things that you can say
to an individual in our church,
and I would say this.
Let me be transparent about our church.
I would say the people in our church,
and when I say the people, I mean the men,
they're very thick skinned, okay?
So it's like you can't say something too crazy for them
because they kind of, you know, they just,
I don't know, maybe they're weird or something.
But they can handle it, you understand?
And that's why a lot of reasons we attract
like a lot of crazy people, you know?
Because they're like, hey, they accept me here,
me and my craziness.
And there's pros and cons to that, right?
The pro is we accept you for who you are.
You know, we accept you for how you talk.
We accept you for whatever, X, Y, and Z.
But with that comes great responsibility, okay?
And that's a privilege, and it's a responsibility for you.
We expect you, just as we tolerate your zeal
and your zealousness and your crazy things
that you do and say, we expect you to be aware
of your surroundings.
Okay?
Look at Ephesians chapter five, verse nine.
For the fruit of the righteous, excuse me,
for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness
and righteousness and truth,
proving what is acceptable unto the Lord,
and have no fellowship with the unfruitful works
of darkness, but rather reprove them.
For it is a shame even to speak of those things
which are done to them in secret.
But all things that are reproved are made manifest
by the light, for whatsoever doth make manifest is light.
Wherefore, he saith, awake thou that sleepest,
arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light.
Look what it says in verse 15.
See then that ye walk circumspectly,
not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time
because the days are evil.
Now, he's not, when he says, see then that ye walk
circumspectly, you can translate that as carefully
or with discretion, and this is not referring
to someone who is just like, this isn't referring
to literally how you walk, right?
There, you gotta be careful how you walk.
It's saying, see how you walk with your mouth.
See then that ye walk circumspectly,
not as fools, but as wise.
Now, let me tell you what this is not saying as well.
This isn't saying that we should walk on eggshells, okay?
And let me make this point real quick.
You know, we should never have to feel like we're walking
on eggshells around individuals in our church
because maybe they're a little too sensitive.
You understand?
It's like, well, you know, there's certain things
you just can't say around this individual
because they're a little sensitive.
Look, folks, I'm not walking around on eggshells
in my own church, around people that I love, you know,
and I think there's a distinction between the two.
Obviously, we need to be discreet, but on the other hand,
we can't just walk on eggshells because every Tom, Dick,
and Harry in the church might get offended
for everything that we say, you understand?
So, I'm not saying walk on eggshells,
and I don't think the Bible's saying walk on eggshells.
It's just telling you to walk discreetly
with appropriateness, okay, carefully, circumspectly,
not as fools, but as wise.
Hey, be aware of the people that are around you
before you speak.
Who are the people that I'm referring to?
Can you, uh, I gotta do the signals.
Who are the people that I'm referring to?
How about this, before the opposite genders?
No.
Sharing things that are too personal, okay?
Now look, there are certain things
that men can talk with men about,
and women can talk to women about,
and that should never cross between each other
unless you're married and you're talking to your spouse, okay?
There's certain topics and subjects that are appropriate
within the setting of marriage.
You know, the Bible tells us marriage is honorable
in all things, and the bed undefiled,
which is referring to the fact that between a man
and a woman, that conversation,
or that physical relationship,
whatever's taking place there, that's private,
and it's not inappropriate between me and my wife,
my wife and me, but it is inappropriate with other people.
Discussing body parts, discussing, you know,
things that are done, you know, with married people,
with other people, opposite gender, you know,
that's inappropriate, folks.
Use some discretion.
But we're new IFB, man!
So, new IFB is appropriate.
How about you?
We're discreet.
At least we're supposed to be.
And I don't know who you're talking about
when you say we're new IFB.
As far as my pastor friends are concerned,
I know they're discreet.
The people that I fellowship with are discreet
and exercise that discretion, okay?
And so, make sure that you exercise appropriate discretion
when you are in front of the opposite gender, okay?
There's certain things you should not be discussing
as a man with a woman who, first of all, is not your wife.
Right?
And look, folks, in my opinion, I grew up spiritually
referring to the opposite gender as ma'am, right?
Miss, that's appropriate.
You know, I grew up saying sir, right?
These are appropriate terms to use.
And so, if we use that, how much more appropriate
should we be when dealing with personal topics,
personal subjects?
Okay?
I'm gonna say this.
You should be appropriate around other men's wives.
And other wives' husbands.
You shouldn't, the line should never be crossed
of appropriateness around that individual.
Okay?
You don't go to someone else's wife
and just slap them on the back.
How you doing, ma'am?
Pat them on the back or something.
You know, when you shake their hands, you're all.
Obviously, it's like, that's not necessarily sinful.
It's just stupid and inappropriate.
Amen.
You understand?
And so, be appropriate before the opposite gender
in what you say and how you behave.
Okay?
Let me just say this, because I just need to say it.
You know, we shouldn't be, we as men,
should not be discussing breastfeeding
with like other men's wives.
You know what I mean?
Just like randomly going up to someone
and just talking about breastfeeding
and just like, why do you wanna, like that's weird.
Breasts are not weird.
Okay, that's something that God gave women
and that's used as a means to feed infants
and sucklings, et cetera, but what is weird,
when you start crossing over that realm,
is when the opposite gender begins
to inquire about those things.
Now look, folks, if someone's coming to Dr. Rita
and it's a male who's asking Dr. Rita about these things,
I would say that's obviously a different arena and category
because she's knowledgeable about those things.
She spares her words and therefore,
you have to go draw it out of her.
Right?
But be appropriate around the opposite gender.
Okay?
Be discreet.
How about this?
Before unbelievers, be discreet.
Go to Colossians chapter four.
Colossians chapter number four.
Before unbelievers.
Now again, in our church, church is for believers, amen?
So when I'm preaching, I just let it fly
and I don't care what people think
because of the fact that I have the liberty
given to me by God to preach however I want to preach
according to the dictates of the Bible.
But when it comes to a setting
where there's fellowship taking place
and people are just talking amongst themselves,
just know this, there's gonna be unsafe people
who come into our church.
So the topic of the pre-tribulation rapture,
the topic of the Jews, those things are not radical to us,
but you making radical statements about those things
in front of unbelievers can cause them to freak out.
You understand?
All right, let me talk about this as well, okay?
Some people in our church, you know,
you got this whole racist nonsense going on
out in the world where people are like,
you know, stop Asian hate and all these,
we know that that's nonsense, okay?
And within here, it's just like, you know what,
I don't care if you're black, brown, yellow, red,
you know, whatever, you're my brother in Christ,
it doesn't matter, we both bleed red, okay?
We're both in Christ, we're Christians,
and so along with that can come some, you know,
some jovial comments that people make towards one another,
okay, because they're comfortable around one another
or whatever, and that's between y'all.
His name is Paul, and that's between y'all.
Okay?
You know, if you feel comfortable talking about it
like that with each other, then that's between you.
But just know this, is that don't get so comfortable
that you're not aware of your surroundings
when new visitors come, and there's brand new people
in our church, and you just spat off the mouth
saying some inappropriate thing, and you know what,
a little birdie's gonna carry that voice
into the ears of that visitor, and they're gonna be like,
what in the world kind of church is this?
Can we just be normal?
Let's just be normal, folks, okay?
You say, what's normal, appropriateness?
What's normal?
Discretion.
You know?
Can you at least look to the right and to the left of you?
Can you at least do that?
Well, this is my church, man, this is where I feel,
I can let my hair down!
I get that.
I get that, but not at the expense of being appropriate.
Not at the expense of being discreet.
Not at the expense of exercising the discretion
and the wisdom to be aware of your surroundings.
Be aware of who's around you before you say anything.
And again, I'm not saying walk on eggshells.
What I'm saying is just be appropriate
and discreet before unbelievers.
Look at Colossians chapter four, verse five.
Walk in wisdom towards them that are without,
redeeming the time.
Let your speech be all the way with grace,
seasoned with salt, that ye may know
how ye ought to answer every man.
So what is it saying?
Hey, make sure that you're walking circumspectly,
towards who?
Towards those that are without.
When it says those that are without,
it's referring to unsaved people.
And look, because we are a church
that is constantly soul-willing,
we are constantly preaching the word of God,
we're gonna get unsaved people coming here.
We had an unsaved individual come
for the Sony marathon yesterday.
Someone who's unsaved.
And one of our guys witnessed that individual
and said, you know this is exactly
what we're actually going out to do right now.
I don't know if you thought it was a church service
or something like that.
And he wasn't giving her a hard time.
He was just saying this is what we're gonna go do.
But you know what, as soon as I heard that she was unsaved,
I was aware.
I became aware.
And even you say, well, were you gonna say something
you weren't supposed to say?
No, but I was gonna exercise discretion
so as to not offend her or cause her to think
that we're some sort of radical group
or something like that.
Some crazy group that's just like a cult or something
that she might think so because of what we believe.
I wanna exercise discretion.
Because I'm not trying to leave a bad taste
in that person's mouth.
I will bless God if they get offended, that's their fault.
Yeah, but it's your fault too though.
So have some judgment, have some discretion,
have some wisdom when you talk before the opposite gender,
before unbelievers.
How about this, before babes in Christ.
Go to 1 Corinthians chapter three.
1 Corinthians chapter three.
Talk about discretion this morning.
And if you get nothing, get this, shut your mouth.
Say, man, how do I remember all this?
Well, this is how you remember it.
Shut your mouth.
That's the easy way, right?
I can't remember all those points, I didn't write them down.
Okay, well, here's the, just shut your mouth.
You know how they say, it's like,
you know how the Bible says if you love your neighbor,
you love God and you love your neighbor,
you fulfill the whole law?
Because when you love God, you love your neighbor,
you're not gonna kill your neighbor,
you're not gonna lie to your neighbor,
you're not gonna steal from your neighbor.
Well, here's the thing, if you wanna exercise discretion
but you don't remember all these rules
that we're giving here, well, here's the thing,
just shut your mouth and you fulfill it all.
You fulfill the entire sermon by just closing the gap,
shutting the pie hole, you can fulfill the entire sermon.
Before the opposite gender be appropriate,
before unbelievers be appropriate,
before babes in Christ be appropriate.
First Corinthians chapter three verse one says,
and I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual,
but as unto carnal, even as unto babes in Christ.
I have fed you with milk and not with meat,
for hitherto ye were not able to bear it,
neither yet now are ye able, for ye are yet carnal,
for whereas there is among you envying strife and divisions,
are ye not carnal and walk as men?
Now when we think of like Bible teaching
and when we think of that which is meaty,
we would say like end times Bible prophecy is meaty, right?
You know, discussing the tribulation and the wrath of God
and all the numbers that are attached to that.
Now let me ask you this, how much of that do you see
in first and second Corinthians?
Not much, isn't that interesting?
What do you see mostly in first and second Corinthians,
relational problems?
Because people are not kicking other people out.
So what is he saying?
I can't even give you meat.
I can't talk to you about end times Bible prophecy.
You can't even handle that, you're a babe in Christ.
You need the milk.
So looking at this, we can see this as a template
for ourselves to say certain babes in Christ just can't,
you can't handle the truth.
Can't handle it and that's not bad.
We just need to help them to develop the digestive system,
so to speak, right?
Help them to develop the digestive system,
their palate, to be able to receive the meat of the word.
And don't think they can receive it right away.
I'm gonna make another statement, okay?
Sometimes I see new people come to our church to get saved
and then people are just spouting off what they believe
in these radical states and I cringe, folks, I cringe.
As a pastor, I cringe.
Because I'm like, oh man, is this gonna be the last time
this person comes?
Like, what's going through their minds right now?
They're just smiling like, never coming back here again.
This dude's crazy.
I cringe a little bit and sometimes I try to bring
a little levity to those conversations.
Why, to show them that hey, I'm the pastor
but I'm not crazy, okay?
You know what I mean, like we're normal people, okay?
Why, because I want to be discreet around babes in Christ.
And not just assume that every person who comes
through these doors is just gonna believe
exactly how we believe.
They're just gonna accept every single doctrine
that we believe.
They're gonna accept the positions that we take
on anything.
I don't want to just assume that because at that point
I'm not exercising discretion.
Discretion tells me not everyone is at our level.
Not everyone is at my level.
Not everyone's at your level.
Not everyone has the knowledge that we have.
Sometimes it takes a while for people to even digest
something like that.
Now look, have there been people who got saved,
they stay and someone makes a radical statement,
they're just like, this is a cool church.
Yeah, we've had that.
And thank God for that.
I'm just gonna call one out right now.
Max is one of them right there.
Max recently got saved and it's Mark's brother.
And he got baptized in ice.
How many were there for Max's baptism?
He became another man.
Because it was ice cold and it was just like,
I'm sometimes trying to talk them out of getting baptized
because it's so cold, I'm like, wait till we get
the heaters.
I'll just get baptized.
I baptized him and he exploded out of the water.
He's just, like Dragon Ball Z status, just like.
I'm all, you know, because it was so cold.
And I'm thinking to myself, he's not gonna come back.
Like this guy is just like, he baptized me in cold water,
man, trying to kill me.
But he came back and you know what, he's fellowship,
he's learned, he's assimilating well, as we would say.
But let me say this, not everyone's a Max though.
Don't get proud, Max, all right?
I'm saying not everyone's gonna have that response
and that attitude.
We wanna be, we wanna exercise discretion at all times.
And understand that certain babes in Christ can't handle
some of the things that you or I say.
Unbelievers for sure sometimes can't handle what we say.
And sometimes, whether they can handle it or not,
let's ask yourself, is this appropriate to say
to this individual, okay?
Go to Ecclesiastes chapter 10.
Proverbs 13 verse 16 says,
Every prudent man dealeth with knowledge,
but a fool layeth open his folly.
What is that saying?
He just lets, it's just open for everyone to see,
for everyone to hear, for everyone to observe.
Now, why should we be aware of our surroundings?
Well, look what it says in Ecclesiastes chapter 10 verse 20.
Curse not the king, no, not in thy thought,
and curse not the rich in thy bedchamber,
for a bird of the air shall carry the voice,
and that which hath wings shall tell the matter.
You ever heard the statement, a bird he told me?
That's where it comes from.
So it's referring to the fact that when you're saying
something to someone, if you're not aware
of your surroundings, just know this,
a little birdie's gonna come and carry that voice
and someone's gonna hear, especially if they're nosy.
If you're in our church and you're nosy,
you're gonna hear everything.
Turn to Luke chapter six, Luke chapter number six.
So exercise discretion when talking to who.
Think about who is listening, who is around me.
Be aware of your surroundings.
And the last thing you want is for people
to come to our church and think it's just an immature church.
I don't want people to think that.
I want people to come and say, hey, it's a young church,
a lot of fiery guys in there,
but you know what, they got discretion.
They exercise discretion, they're zealous,
they have wisdom.
How about what?
Well, how about this, what are you saying?
Regarding the content that is coming out of your mouth.
You're in Luke chapter six, let me read to you
from Mark chapter seven.
It says here in verse number 18,
he saith unto them, are you so without understanding also?
Do you not perceive that whatsoever think from without
enter it into the man that cannot defile him?
Because it entereth not into his heart but into the belly
and goeth out into the draw, purging all meats.
And he said, that which cometh out of the man,
that defileth the man, from within out of the heart of men
proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications,
murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness,
deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy,
pride, foolishness, all these evil things
come from within and defile the man.
Look at Luke chapter six in verse number 45.
It says here, a good man out of the good treasure
of his heart bringeth forth that which is good.
And an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart
bringeth forth that which is evil,
for out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh.
You know exactly what's going on in a person's heart
based upon what they're always talking about.
You know exactly what's in their heart,
you know if they're reading their Bible,
you know if they're meditating on God's word,
you know if they're living a worldly life,
you know what's going on in their life
based upon what's coming out of their mouth, the content.
And so when we are seeking to exercise discretion,
we need to keep this in mind, what am I saying?
Don't get so comfortable around our people, God's people,
that you just can say anything, right?
Now look, within the church, especially within our church,
there's like a brotherhood in our church
that I'm not interested in disbanding at all.
Because I love the brotherhood, amen?
I think having a brotherhood in the church is great,
I think it benefits not only the church,
it benefits families, it benefits the wives,
it benefits mothers, it benefits our church just in general
because when there's a brotherhood,
you know the backbone of, you know,
practically speaking, of the church are the men.
And if the men feel like they have communion
one with another, there's a brotherhood there,
then it becomes strong, okay?
And you know, with the brotherhood,
you can just kind of divulge certain things
that maybe you can't talk about with other people,
and that's fine.
You can kind of just be yourself, which is good, amen?
You don't have to worry like, oh man,
they're gonna think I'm weird because of this.
Well let me just say this,
if you're into like pink ties and queer stuff,
then yeah, we're gonna be like,
that's weird, you need to change that, you know?
That's kind of not cool, all right?
But I'm saying like, you know,
if you're going through something,
if you're struggling in your personal life,
or whatever it may be, you can be honest
with your brother in here
because of the fact that it's a brotherhood.
And a brother means like we're brothers.
And you know, brothers fight sometimes too, okay?
They fight, they argue, they fist fight, okay?
But with that being said, you need to also keep in mind
that you don't wanna carry that brotherhood atmosphere
just everywhere you go too.
You understand?
Gotta be discreet, have discretion.
The Bible tells us in Proverbs chapter 18 verse 21,
death and life are in the power of the tongue,
and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.
Ephesians 4, 29 says, let no corrupt communication
proceed out of your mouth,
but that which is good to the use of edifying
that it may minister grace unto the here.
Grieve not the Holy Spirit of God,
whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
David said in Psalm 49 verse three,
my mouth shall speak of wisdom,
and the meditation of my heart shall be understanding.
So careful what comes out of your mouth, okay?
Don't just spout off everything
because you're just comfortable around your brethren,
that's just how you are.
No, add learning to your lips.
Go with me if you would to Isaiah chapter 50,
Isaiah chapter 15.
How about this, when?
What is that, timing?
When is it right to say this?
When is it right?
Timing is everything.
And sometimes you have the right thing to say,
but if you say it at the wrong time,
you could offend your brothers, okay?
And a brother offended is harder to be won
than a strong city, and its contentions
are like the bars of a castle, the Bible says.
See, when we, like, we should never have this desire
like, well, I just want to shock value people,
you know, by what I say, you know what I mean?
I just want to trip people out
because I'm so crazy or something.
The desire should be like, I want to help my brother.
I want to help him, I want to build him up,
I want to guide him, I want to teach him knowledge,
but here's the thing, if you don't have the right timing,
sometimes you can say something,
and that brother will be offended
for the rest of his life towards you.
And you know what happens?
They're contentions are like the bars of a castle,
and you just completely forfeited your influence
towards that person.
It can happen.
And if you're like, well, I don't care,
well, then you don't know discretion then
because our desire should be to influence people
and help them to become more godly,
add godliness to them, add virtue to their lives,
be a benefit, and be a blessing to them,
not just spat off the mouth and offend everyone
and just kind of walk away and just like,
the explosion's going off right behind you,
you're just walking away
and you just destroy that person's life.
Be discreet!
When should I say this?
Look at Isaiah chapter 50, verse four.
The Lord God hath given me the tongue of the learned,
that I should know how to speak a word,
look what it says, in season to him that is weary,
he wakeneth morning by morning,
he wakeneth mine ear to hear as the learned.
The Bible says in Proverbs 15, verse 23,
a man hath joy by the answer of his mouth,
and a word spoken in due season, how good it is.
So sometimes what we need is timing.
Sometimes you have the right thing to say
but it's the wrong time to say it.
Because what is the goal?
The goal is to help that person repent
or to reform that person's mind regarding
that specific issue that you're addressing.
That's the goal, right?
To help them.
But if you knew that what you're gonna say
is gonna offend them and you really care for that person,
you should say, well, I need to wait a little while
before I say it.
Look folks, sometimes when I have to exercise discretion
even when I preach, there's certain topics
that I wanna preach, I'm like, I can't do it yet.
I gotta wait a little bit.
I gotta wait.
Why, because my desire is to help the church,
not just blast the church and just offend
every Tom, Dick, and Harry, okay?
My desire is to speak a good word in due season.
Now obviously, in a church setting,
someone's gonna get offended, can't help you there, okay?
You know, we need to make sure that we take admonition
but I'm saying on a one-on-one basis
when you're talking to someone, look for that due season.
Look for that opportunity, that window of opportunity.
Think about when to say it.
The Bible says in Proverbs 18 verse 13,
he that answerth the matter before he heareth it,
it is folly and shame unto him.
Proverbs 29 verse 11, a fool uttereth all his might
but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.
Think about that.
So someone who's wise, a fool is just like,
yeah, you're stupid and maybe you know
that individual's acting stupid.
The wise man says, I'm gonna tell him he's stupid
but I'm gonna wait till afterwards
when everyone's gone.
I'm not gonna make him a laughingstock before everyone else.
I'm gonna tell him that what he did was foolish
because he needs to know that what he did is foolish
because if not, he's gonna hurt himself,
he's gonna hurt other people around him,
he's not aware of his surroundings,
he needs to learn this situation.
And you know what, obviously there's times
when we have to rebuke someone in front of people
and that's necessary so that others may fear.
But there's other times when an individual
maybe doesn't need to get rebuked before everyone,
they just need to be taken aside and told,
hey, you shouldn't have said this, this was wrong
or you offended me when you said this, okay?
Proverbs 25 verse 20 says,
and as he that taketh away a garment in cold weather
and as vinegar upon the nighter,
so is he that singeth songs to a heavy heart.
Proverbs 27 verse 14, this is all about timing.
He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice,
rising early in the morning,
it shall be counted a curse to him.
Wouldn't you say that blessing your friend is a good thing?
It's a good thing, right?
Blessing your friend, greeting your friend,
being a blessing to them is a great thing,
just not in the morning.
I'll give you a personal testimony of this, okay?
When I get up in the morning,
I don't want to talk to anybody other than God.
And my wife, she doesn't mind me saying this
and maybe I'm not exercising discretion right now,
but sometimes when she gets up,
she's just ready to just go.
I'm in transition for a while.
I have to like transition.
Like I'm getting up, I'm getting ready,
and I don't like to talk.
I'm just kind of like transitioning.
I'm like, I was dead and then I'm resurrecting.
I'm like transitioning.
And I can't handle too much information at one point.
And there's times that my wife was coming,
she says, yeah, and then this happened and this happened,
and I'm gonna go do this.
And I'm just like, hold your peace.
Hold your peace until afterwards.
I'm not ready for all that right now.
You're laying it on me too thick right now.
Like just stop, you know?
And so even if she's blessing me in the morning,
I counted a curse, no, I'm just kidding, I'm kidding.
What I'm saying is this, is that what she's saying
or blessing a friend, those aren't bad things.
It's the timing of it.
How about this?
If someone lost a family member,
that's not the time to go tell them Romans 8.28.
Romans 8.28 is true though, isn't it?
Don't worry, brother, all things work together for good
to them to love God.
You know that person's gonna think,
I don't need to hear that right now.
Like I love God's word, and I know you mean well,
but like that's not what I'm trying to hear right now.
You know, you said, what do they need to hear?
They don't need to hear you blessing them.
You know what they need to hear?
You weeping with them.
That's what they need to hear.
They need to hear, I'm praying for you and I love you.
They need to hear, I'm here for you
if there's anything you need.
Sometimes people, when they lose a family member,
they don't need anything else other than our presence
and our silence, okay?
So timing is everything.
Proverbs 10 verse eight says,
the wise in heart will receive commandments,
but a prating fool shall fall.
Actually, I don't even know why I have that verse.
That doesn't even apply.
Still good though.
So where, where should you be discreet?
Well that's easy, everywhere.
I mean, we don't even need verses for that.
Just be discreet everywhere, and on all occasions.
Why are you saying the things that you say?
Is it for shock value, or is it to build someone up?
Is it because you're trying to overcompensate
for something in your life that you're lacking?
Is it to help someone grow?
Is it to warn someone of impending danger?
Why is the reason, why is it that you're saying
what you're saying?
Is it because you want credibility with the brethren?
Is it because, you know, you just need to say something,
you just want to establish yourself as someone
who is wise and knowledgeable?
Well here's how you do it.
Exercise discretion.
You know what discretion says?
Shut your mouth, and you will earn that credibility.
Ezekiel 3, 17 says,
Son of man, I have made thee the watchman
unto the house of Israel.
Therefore, hear the word at my mouth,
and give them warning from me.
So obviously there's times when we have to warn someone,
we have to teach them, we have to say something,
we have to be that watchman, but you know what,
before you're the watchman for others,
make sure your mouth has that watchman too.
Go to Proverbs chapter 21, and we'll finish here.
What is the conclusion of the whole matter?
Well I already told you, it's just shut your mouth.
That's the concept, okay?
I need to shut my mouth.
We all do at one point or another.
But here's a more palatable way of saying it, okay?
Look at Proverbs 21 verse 23.
Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue
keepeth his soul from troubles.
He's like, hey, if you're able to shut your mouth,
you're able to keep it, close it,
not always opinionate, not always say crazy stuff,
if you're aware of your surroundings,
you're gonna save yourself a lot of trouble.
You're gonna save yourself a lot of heartache.
You're gonna save yourself a lot of controversy
between you and your brethren, why?
Because you're keeping your mouth and your tongue?
And look, we haven't even touched on James chapter three,
bridling your tongue, obviously we can go there,
but we're out of time.
And so what's the sermon this morning?
It's a very practical sermon on something regarding life.
And that is this, is that every once in a while,
we need to be reminded and be conscious of the fact
that we need to watch what we say,
we need to watch who we're saying it to,
we need to watch why we're saying it.
In other words, before you step off the ledge
and say that specific thing,
take time to consider what is being said.
And you know what, more often than not,
you realize, I'm gonna walk away from that ledge.
Maybe now is not the right time.
All we have to do is keep our mouths and our tongues,
and you know what, we'll save ourselves a lot of trouble.
Amen?
Amen.
And don't be offended.
Let's pray.
Father, we thank you so much for this day.
Thank you, Lord, for your word, Lord,
and we're so thankful that it has everything
that pertains to life and godliness.
We know it has everything when it comes to Bible prophecy
and doctrine, but we also know that it has
that which pertains just to life.
Practical living, Christian living.
Help us, Lord, to keep our mouths,
to shut our lips when necessary,
to exercise discretion and wisdom and prudence
so that we can live successfully
and at peace with our brethren.
I pray, God, that you give us that wisdom to do so.
Help us to be problem solvers, not just identifiers.
Help us to be appropriate at all times, Lord.
And obviously, we're not gonna be able to do this perfectly
all the time, we're gonna fail,
but may we strive to perfect that virtue in our lives.
We love you so much, Lord, and we thank you.
Pray these things in Jesus' name.
Amen.
Song number 145 is our last song.