this evening Lord your God we thank you so much for every soul that's here we
also do pray that you please Lord God just bless every aspect of service
please be with the singing unto you Lord your God I pray that you please just
bless that and also Lord God I pray that you please just be with our pastor
Lord God most importantly helping the Lord God to preach Lord God your word I pray
that you please give him the strength and the energy that he needs Lord God as
well and I pray that you please Lord God be with us in the congregation help us
Lord God to also just be attentive to receive your word with gladness Lord
your God and I pray that you please well God just bless us now in Jesus name
amen you may be seated song number 327 higher ground as our second song song
number 327 pressing on the upper way 327 seen on that first verse
Oh
all right great singing just a few announcements here before we sing our
next song which will be 301 sweet hour of prayer song number 301 if you did not
get a bulletin go to raise your hand one of the estrus can get one for you some
important information on there of course our Sunday morning service is at 1030
Sunday evening at 5 p.m. and then we have our Thursday night Bible study at
7 o'clock and if you look to the right there some of the upcoming church events
tonight after the service is the kids Olympics and so that'll be right up to
the service let me give you some some information about that and so we're also
gonna have pizza after the service but the pizza will be served after the
Olympics okay so no digging into the pizza before the Olympics and so I'm
talking to parents obviously the adults because I saw some of you just give me a
disappointed look right now okay so just keep that in mind the pizza will be
served after the Olympics meet brother Ulysses ten minutes after church in the
fellowship hall so once we end the service ten minutes thereafter if your
child is participating in the Olympics make sure they go into the fellowship
hall you go to the fellowship hall with them to go talk to brother Ulysses and
he's gonna direct the kids in different competitions for different ages so the
first one being zero to six years old girls will have the spoon race one way
the second one will be seven to ten year old girls spoon race the third
will be the boys spoon race the fourth will be the three-legged race that's
gonna be a fun one and then the fifth one is the sibling three-legged race
that's a new one that we added the sixth one is the six-year-old sack race seventh
is the zero to five-year-old sack race eighth is the seventh ten-year-old sack
race ninth is the boys tug of war and then the tenth one is the girls tug of
war now all these are great but the tug of war is what we really look forward to
and so I'm looking forward to that and everyone's gonna be screaming and
yelling and become enemies at the end of the Olympics after that's over and I'm
just kidding and of course there's gonna be awards given out little medals given
out for that make sure just a couple of things here make sure you keep your
kiddos out of the way when it is not their turn for the competitions so they
don't get trampled or in the way okay so parents please do us a favor pay
attention to your kiddos and make sure you're watching them supervising them
so they're not getting hurt and interfering with the competitions and
then kids under core can join the competitions except the tug of war and
three-legged race to prevent them from getting dragged or trampled over okay so
we want your 400 to to have fun and compete but just not in those particular
races because they could actually get hurt and so if you have any questions
about any of that you can see brother Ulysses Hernandez we're looking forward
to the kids Olympics tonight it's gonna be great and then the hold fast
Sony marathon is on Saturday August 12th we're gonna be leaving the building here
and making it to Fresno approximately around 10 o'clock a.m. for the preaching
pastor Aaron Thompson is gonna be opening it up and then we'll go sowing
thereafter if you are interested in participating in them you want to ride
in the church van or in the church car see brother Ulysses so we can get you
signed up and then the ladies prayer breakfast is on Saturday August 12th and
then this Friday is the church bonfire which concludes the summer family nights
and in the back where the usher station is there is a sheet there with the map
of where the bonfire is gonna take place it's even highlighted there and it has
the address a couple things here dinner will be served at 6 p.m. so you can come
whenever you want okay some people are gonna be there all day they're gonna
show up early but you know if you just want to come for the dinner okay that's
when it's gonna be served bring your own chairs blankets etc the church will
provide chicken and drinks and but sign up if you want to bring a side park and
pay with a downloaded app on your phone however free parking can be found around
the side streets but it's easier to park near the Peninsula Park and you can see
that on the actual map there and then lastly fire pits are located just east
of the Peninsula Park we have people they're gonna be there like 4 a.m. on
that day to reserve some pits there and so because it gets pretty packed and
people claim these pits and they basically stay there all day so we want
to reserve those as soon as possible but I want to encourage you to be there if
you are gonna be participating you're gonna be coming to the bonfire do us a
favor and sign up in the back just so we could get a headcount because we are
getting chicken and drinks and so we want to make sure we have enough for
everyone all right and that is it no food or drink allowed in the main
auditorium except for water and coffee please make sure you're not loitering
the foyer fellowship hall during the preaching service please silence your
phones during the preaching so as to not be a distraction during the service and
then it's going to take some so many numbers from from Monday to Thursday any
salvations from Monday to Thursday to okay anybody else to anybody else how
about Friday and Saturday salvations for Friday and Saturday 15 okay one all
right anybody else how about this afternoon salvations for this afternoon
one four four for the Marcus's team two four for the Morris team one for the
Glenn's team then I miss anybody going once twice thrice okay keep up the great
work let's go and sing our next song 301 sweet hour of prayer
we are a prayer sweet our prayer that calls me from a world of care
Oh my father's will make all my wants and wishes in seasons of distress and
grief my soul really and I've escaped the tempter snare
by thy return sweet now lead out a prayer sweet hour of prayer thy wings
shall my petition bear to him whose truth and faithfulness engage the
waiting soul to blast and since he bids me see his face believe his word and
trust his praise on him my head
and wait for the sweet prayer sweet our prayer sweet our prayer may I thy
nation's chair till I view my home and take my flight this robe of flesh I'll
drop and rise to see
lasting cries and shout while passing through the air
farewell farewell sweet our prayer amen wonderful singing at this time our
ushers will be receiving the offering and please turn your Bibles to Proverbs
chapter 23
you
good evening tonight we're in Proverbs 23
Proverbs 23 in the Bible reads when thou sittest to eat with the ruler consider
diligently what is before thee put a knife to thy throat if thou be a man
given appetite be not desirous of his dainties for they are deceitful meat
they were not to be rich cease from thine own wisdom without set thine eyes
upon that which is not for riches certainly make themselves wings they fly
away as an eagle toward heaven eat thou not the bread of him that hath an evil
eye neither desire thou is dainty meats for as he thinketh in his heart so is he
eat and drink saith he to thee but his heart is not with thee the morsel which
thou hast eaten shall thou vomit up and lose thy sweet words speak not in the
ears of the of a fool for he will despise the wisdom of thy words remove
not the old landmark and enter not into the fields of the fatherless for the
Redeemer is mighty is he shall plead their cause with thee applying thine
heart unto instruction and thine ears to the word of not words of knowledge
withhold not correction from the child for if thou beatest him with the rod he
shall not die I shall beat him with the rod and shall deliver his soul from hell
my son if thine heart be wise my heart shall rejoice even mine yay my reign
shall rejoice when thy lips speak right things let not thine heart envy sinners
but be thou in the fear of the Lord all the day long for surely there is an end
and that expectation shall not be cut off hear thou my son and be wise and
guide thine heart in the way be not among wine bibbers be among riotous
eaters of the flesh for the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty and
drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags hearken unto thy father that begat thee
and despise not thy mother when she is old by the truth and sell it not also
wisdom and instruction and understanding the father of the righteous shall
greatly rejoice he that beget at the wise child shall have joy of him thy
father and thy mother shall be glad and she that bear thee shall rejoice my son
give me thine heart and let thine eyes observe my ways for a whore is a deep
ditch and a strange woman is a narrow pit she also lieth and wait for as for a
prey and creaseth in the transgressors among men who hath woe who hath sorrow
who hath contentions who hath babbling who hath wounds without cause who hath
redness of eyes they that tarry long at the wine they that go to seek mixed
wine look not thou upon the wine when it is red when it give it this color in the
cup when it move it itself for right at the last it biteth like a serpent and
stingeth like an adder and I shall behold strange women and thine heart
shall utter prefers things a that shall be as he that lieth down in the midst of
the sea I see that lieth upon the top of a mass they have stricken me thou
shall say and I was not sick they have beaten me and I felt and not when shall
I awake I will seek it yet again let's pray dear Lord God thank you for this
church Lord thank you for the King James Bible Lord just all the principles that
we have in the Word of God Lord and we just pray that you fill pastor with the
Holy Spirit as he preaches your word unto us Lord and just give us ears to
hear and pray that we come away edified Lord we pray this all in Jesus name
amen amen okay tonight I'm continuing a series that I started about two weeks
ago and of course I end up getting sick and then we had the conference and so
this is part two of a sermon series entitled preventative medicine for the
family look at Proverbs 23 verse 13 it says withhold not correction from the
child for if thou beatest him with the rod he shall not die I shall beat him
with the rod and shall deliver his soul from hell I'm gonna give you a little
bit of an introduction and just a little bit of review from the previous week now
does everyone have a lesson does anybody anybody not have a lesson who doesn't
have a lesson okay who needs a pen anybody need a pen because we got sheets
tonight fill in the blank sheets anybody everyone has a lesson everyone has a pen
very well everyone's prepared great all right so let me just give you a little
bit of introduction and review from the last time and last two weeks ago I
talked about preventative medicine in your marriage and I started up by
talking about the fact that these principles that we give here in this in
the sermon it's not gonna prevent conflicts in your marriage okay this is
not a one-size-fits-all if you do this you're never gonna have any issue
whatsoever this will not prevent unforeseen trials in your family as well
it will not prevent disobedience in your children it will not prevent arguments
disagreements or seasonal trials to occur in your marriage so don't have an
unrealistic expectation about the principles that we're sharing here this
is just to prevent some of those things from getting out of hand and so that you
can resolve them when they do occur okay now we talked about preventative
medicine in your marriage and I'm gonna cover all the points just by way of
review here we say that to prevent a sour complex not in your sheet but I
hope you save the sheet from two weeks ago if not your marriage is gonna fall
apart that's just it to prevent a sour complaining atmosphere in the home learn
and express gratitude okay and obviously that's something that we should that's
the type of atmosphere that we should have in our homes with our children but
especially with your spouse make sure you show gratitude towards your spouse
for the big things that they do for us and even the smallest of things and in
order for you to show gratitude even for the smallest of things you have to
on-purpose pay attention to those small things that they do for you and for the
kids and so don't make sure you express gratitude in order to prevent a
murmuring type of a spirit in the home to prevent burnout practice recreation
we're talking about dates family days family trips it can be very exhausting
to have a home with a spouse and children especially if you have little
ones and so it can wane on the emotions and even mental health sometimes and so
in order to kind of ease that there needs to be scheduled dates family time
family trips in order to kind of reignite and renew that enjoyment with
your family the next one we said is let your spouse utilize their strengths okay
so you need to dwell with your spouse according to knowledge and obviously
that's specifically referring to the wife the dwelling with your wife
according to knowledge however this is just applicable to both parties and it's
important for you to know what the strengths of your spouse is and to make
sure that they're utilizing it in marriage and in their family because
they're not a lot of frustration can arise because of that and so I'm gonna
move on here I'm not gonna belabor the point to prevent a resentful spouse keep
your spouse's emotional tank full okay make sure that whatever makes your
spouse happy you're doing on a consistent basis all right and don't
take your spouse for granted and think well she already got the greatest gift
when we got married I mean what else does she need you know I just don't
understand aren't I better to thee than ten sons type of a thing but the reality
is this is that you know you need to maintain your marriage and make it make
sure that their emotional tank is full and you know you want to make sure that
you're keeping gas in the tank okay and that you're regularly getting an oil
change so as to not blow up marriage gasket you understand and then the car
completely falls apart and then you have to purchase a new motor which does not
mean get a new spouse by the way you know it's just new things have to be
done okay I didn't say get a new car just get a new motor all right and so
just keep that in mind to prevent a resentful spouse keep your spouse's
emotional tank full to prevent confusion and unnecessary major conflicts live out
biblical roles you know here at our church and of course according to the
Bible we teach that the man is the breadwinner and the wife is the keeper
at home and often when those roles are not being followed accordingly there's
gonna be a lot of conflict in the marriage because of the fact that if
you're having your wife work in the secular world that means she has two
bosses okay meaning she has her husband as a boss but she also has the boss that
she goes to from nine to five and it will create conflict and unnecessary
conflict and a lot of confusion husband is the leader and provider wife is the
keeper at home and care caretaker of the children here's an important one to
prevent bitterness forgive practice forgiveness on a daily basis okay and
you know you married your spouse and you married your spouse because you felt
like that was the perfect one for you and you know this is God's will and you
know all that but you know they're still sinners and so sinners will offend we
will say things that we shouldn't say do things that we shouldn't do and it's at
that point that we need to make sure that we exercise forgiveness and not
hold grudges against our spouse and in fact the Bible specifically says as an
instruction to husbands you know not to be bitter against their wives basically
implying that that's definitely a temptation sometimes in marriage is for
a husband to become bitter towards his wife but it's also a temptation for the
wife to become bitter towards her husband and what happens is if if it's
unresolved and you don't resolve that conflict you don't forgive it ends up
blowing up months and years later and you know then you're gonna see me later
on and say hey I need your help when the whole thing has already fallen apart
you can prevent that by just exercising and practicing daily forgiveness okay
for the offenses in the marriage to prevent a wounded spirit choose your
words wisely you know some of us in here might have words as sharp as swords okay
and if you're not careful you can cut your husband or you can cut your wife
deep okay and obviously create that resentment towards you by you know not
choosing your words wisely and sometimes you're like well sometimes this needs to
be said okay then choose a better time to say it or choose a better way to say
it because one thing you don't want to do is discourage your encourager okay
one of your greatest encouragers is your spouse but if you discourage your
encourager by wounding their spirit with your words you know that's gonna work
against you in the long run okay and so make sure you choose your words wisely
learn how to speak teach your lips how to answer a matter to prevent mistrust
be transparent with your spouse okay and I'm talking about phones social media
bank accounts where you are at at all times have accountability it should be it
shouldn't be like well I don't want her going on my social media I don't want
her going on my answer why not you know you should be available that should be
information that's available to your spouse no keeping secrets type of a
thing make sure that you're transparent with them and if they want to pick up
your phone and look through it look through the text messages they're more
than welcome to why not okay it's like well she should trust me well yeah but
of course she should trust you you should trust her but the way you can
increase that trust is by allowing them to do that okay and it looks really bad
is that we should trust you so don't look to my phone you know that looks
really bad okay the phone should always be available your wife your husband
should have the code to your phone face recognition I don't know if there's more
than one face recognition on the phone but just make it available in case they
want to check it okay to prevent a lack of understanding communicate what I mean
by that husbands can't read minds so don't expect your husband to be able to
read your mind and he said well he should know better look we're two
different types of people you're a woman we're men and you know we communicate
differently and so if you want your husband to kind of help solve an issue
or know what's wrong in your heart you kind of need to be able to communicate
that to them because of the fact that we don't pick up on stuff like that okay
our solution is very simple it's just like a B and C or one two and three sub
point a B and C this is how you fix the issue but you know we need to know
what's actually going on in your heart so and here's the thing ladies is don't
don't be the type to say you know what's wrong nothing because you know what
we're gonna think like okay cool everything's good you know unless you're
just like nothing you know then we have to like dig in and dig in help your
husband out here a little bit if they're making an effort to try to solve the
issue or you know they're trying to reconcile with you then make yourself
available to do so and don't make it that hard on them okay make sure you
communicate communication is key it's important you got to make sure you do it
okay so let's talk up a little bit about child rearing tonight and I'm not sure
how long we're gonna be tonight I don't think it's gonna be very long these are
all very practical points some of them have verses some of them don't and this
is just regarding child rearing and the the truth is is that our church has a
lot of babies we have a lot of toddlers and infants and so this is I'm kind of
gearing this towards that age group okay because the majority of the parents here
have like newborn babies they have toddlers they have infants and so I'm
kind of gearing that towards them now those of you who are not married and
don't have children fill out the blanks anyways fold this and keep it in to keep
it until afterwards okay don't tune me out and if you tune me out then you know
I'll see you in a couple years and I'm gonna be like what do you remember when
I preach that message okay all right number one regarding child rearing very
practical here to prevent your child from going to hell or acting like hell
spank them now this is very practical but the truth is a lot of parents don't
do this okay in Proverbs 23 13 says withhold not correction from the child
for if thou beatest them with the rod he shall not die thou shalt beat him with
the rod and shall deliver his soul from hell and I've talked about this many
times that obviously it's important to chastise your children in order to teach
them that life has consequences and in the long run they'll realize that so
then when someone gives them the gospel and helps them to realize that the
consequences to their sin is hell you know their heart is more tender to
receive that because they understand that actions have consequences but this
is important folks because you think yourself well you know my kids are saved
or they just got saved well to prevent your child acting like hell continue to
spank them okay now you don't want to go overboard on this because sometimes and
it's family night okay it's family time so let's just get personal here amen
you know sometimes parents because they're not consistently spanking their
children at home they try to overcompensate by spanking really hard
at church okay you understand what I mean this is like they don't spank a
whole lot you say how do you know they don't spank a whole lot at home because
they overcompensate by spanking a lot of church okay it just needs to be balanced
and sometimes the reason that's the case is because they don't want other people
thinking I don't spank at home so they had to try to portray themselves to be
more strict than they really are what you need to do is just be balanced okay
and look don't be embarrassed don't think to yourself why don't want the
church thinking that my kids are just really wild and bad okay look folks all
our kids are really wild and bad sometimes because our kids foolishness
is bound in the heart of a child don't be a parent who's just ashamed and it's
just like oh man I'm so embarrassed cuz my kids they get so crazy no what you
should be embarrassed about is when your kids act wild and crazy you don't do
anything about it now I've said this for years on end and I'm gonna continue to
say it I'm all for you fellowshipping in church and and ladies I'm all for you
gossiping I mean fellowshipping with the other ladies at church but not at the
exclusion of watching your kids and making sure they're not being
mischievous or malicious with other children and being destructive in the
church you need to make sure you keep an eye on them okay so that when they
married chastisement you're on it okay and look don't think I'm like the police
here either or just like I'm just waiting to see what kid is about to get
in trouble and if the parents are gonna do something about it that's not me I'm
not your child's parent I have to I'm watching you know my kids are up to
something and I see it I obviously do something about it but when I'm at
church that's actually that responsibility is actually designated
for my wife and she knows that and so you just need to make sure that you or
your spouse are overseeing your children when they're here and don't go you know
overboard on each end just have discipline at home and discipline them
when they're at church as well and if you see your child being malicious
towards another child do something about it don't just look at them don't just be
like no no no don't do that or no no no stop that if they merit chastisement you
need to chastise them and obviously no one here is gonna chastise your child
for you but here's the thing is that you're you're doing your child a
disservice and you're basically ruining your reputation as a parent here in our
church as well because people are gonna end up being bitter towards you because
you're not doing something about it okay now I can't think of a particular child
that's doing that and a particular parent is doing that which is why the sermon
is called preventative medicine okay this is to prevent you from doing so now
don't get this message mixed up because sometimes I'll preach something like
this and people in the church will just go overboard on what I'm saying and just
think like my child can never misbehave or something like that all all of our
kids misbehave okay all of our kids to a certain extent they will throw a fit or
something like that at church okay mine included don't think that if your child
throws a fit in the middle of the service you're just a really horrible
parent or something like that it's like oh man I'm so embarrassed they're
throwing a fit or something like that no the problem is if you don't do
something about it if you just allow your child to throw a fit to throw a
tantrum and you're not actually disciplined you're acting like Eli and
not doing something about it that's when it becomes an issue okay but don't
become ashamed just because your kid is throwing a fish crying that's what kids
do sometimes okay now the problem is when adults do that then there is a
problem but you know we're talking about kids here make sure you are spanking your
children and do not spank your children the way you're spanked if you were not
spanked in a proper way when you're younger okay we're not we're not
promoting smacking anybody across the face or in the mouth wringing them by
the hair throwing objects to them you know all using hangers or you know
whatever else objects that's in the nearby vicinity okay we're talking about
just regular spanking on the bottom as God intended okay and so keep that in
mind and understand a part of childhood one of the greatest aspects of
childrearing the most effective aspects of childrearing is spanking it's
chastisement okay don't go overboard be balanced about it and make sure that
you're doing that okay let me just say this is that this requires consistency
and persistence on the behalf of the parent okay there's another thing you
don't want to do is you have a season where you're really strict about it and
then you just gonna become lenient for like another couple of months or
something you need to be consistent and sometimes let me say this mom's are
notorious for this okay because they're always with the children is that
sometimes they they have a particular child who is more spunky than the other
ones a little more rambunctious than the other ones and they consistently spank
them but they just feel like they're not making any progress with the child okay
and so and they get discouraged and judges like then they become lenient
towards that child what you need to do is be consistent and persistent even if
you feel like it's not working it will work in the long run the Bible is true
it does work you just got to be consistent and persistent and trust the
program okay and here's the thing what's your other option if you decide to stop
just let them become a spoiled little brat or something I mean come on think
about it so just be consistent and moms if you feel like you're becoming weary
and chastising your child then ask your husband to step in and help you out with
the discipline as well when he comes home from work there's nothing wrong
with that and look I'm not the I'm not the primary disciplinarian of my house
I'm not I'm the CEO the manager is the one who takes care of all of that my
wife is the one who disciplines the children more than myself the only time
I step in is when the company you know if I catch something some some employee
in the company you know doing wrong and I have to step in or the employee in the
company is disrespecting the manager that's when I step in you know when I
come home and if I feel like my kids are answering my wife roughly or they're
showing an ounce of disrespect they're getting it from me and we always teach
our children do not yell at mom never talk to her like that again
never disrespect and it's not like no no no it's just like these words are
coming out of my mouth as I'm spanking as well never let your kids disrespect
your spouse okay and you disrespect for you might be different from than what
I'm talking about we don't permit any type of disrespect and disrespect is
like rolling your eyes if I catch my kids rolling their eyes at my wife
they're gonna spank him for that you know if they're just like rolling their
eyes or if they even have an ounce of yeah they're getting it because that's
a form of disrespect towards my wife and by the way vice versa if they do that to
me my wife typically catches it before I do and she chastises the children for it
why because we don't want to raise disrespectful children okay and so it's
important that you spank them and sometimes you know and I'm not I'm
spending a lot of time on this but it's important sometimes it's just like moms
or dads whoever is applying that the discipline can often become lenient
because they're merciful they just feel bad or something the Bible literally
says don't spare for their crying and obviously we love our children because
we love them we need to discipline them and the reason Bible says don't spare
for their crying is because of the fact that you feel like oh man you know maybe
I'm just being too rough on them or you're imposing your own personal
experience as a child upon your child because maybe you were not disciplined
in the correct way you need to put that aside okay if you are not disciplined
correctly as a child you cannot impose that upon your child you need to
biblically execute the discipline of your child and it's proper appropriate
way and not use your past and how your mom or your dad chastise you if they
were too rough with you you need to put that behind you and do it the right way
okay and not allow that to impede you from disciplining your children as they
need to be okay and so prevent your child from going to hell or acting like
hell so make sure you spank them and thank God we live in a country where
that's not illegal a man and so you know that's important all right number two
is there anything else that I want to say about that if I do I'll come up with
it later on and I'll enter up one of my points to prevent your child from chaotic
behavior in church teach them how to behave while at home and during
preaching services okay now what I mean by chaotic behavior in church we're not
necessarily referring to during the preaching service that's why I put
preaching service thereafter we're talking about either before or after
don't allow your kids to treat the church building like their room okay
where they're jumping all over the place destroying church property coloring all
over the hymnals by the way which I'm sure we can open up some hymnals right
now and see some coloring in those hymnals and I'm sure it wasn't done by
adults okay and make sure your children are not being destructive and also let
me say this don't allow your children to just stampede all over the place look I
love the fact that my kids have friends here and you know that they have their
little group of friends here that they play with but sometimes I just got to
tell my son like hey don't run through adult conversations when adults are
fellowship and they're talking teach your children not to just be bumping
into adults in our church you know that's not appropriate okay this isn't
their room teach them how to behave in the house of God teach them how to
behave during the preaching service what does that mean you know we're a family
integrated church we're all hoorah about it and just really all for it and
excited about that but you know that comes with a lot of responsibility and
the responsibility is this you need to learn how to teach your kids how to sit
up in church to listen now not all the kids are gonna do that perfectly right
off the bat even for a couple of years because they're still kids but you
should be teaching them right off the bat though okay and I'll give you a
prime example of this myself I mean my wife right now is in the mother-baby
room with three other ones and I tell her leave Bruce and Kyla in the service
and so technically I have to watch my kids while they're here now right before
the service I told them you breathe wrong you know they're gonna get it okay
and now they're they're not only gonna get it from the pulpit they're gonna get
it afterwards as well okay cuz I'm trying to teach them how to sit up
straight and pay attention and behave in church and not be messing around and
everyone anybody who's been here long enough you've seen me kind of up braid
my children during the service okay when my wife is out of the service or
something and it's normal so I'm not saying you have to have perfect kids in
church because of course none of them are perfect they're gonna mess around
but do this make sure that when they are messing around you do something about it
and teach them this is church sit up straight listen sing the hymns hold the
Bible open it up if they know how to go to the references you know if they're
taking notes whatever teach them how to behave in church and let me say this
let me go a little further than that the kids who are getting a little older
don't need to sit on your lap all the time maybe you just need to teach them
how to sit on an actual chair to listen okay and not be so dependent upon you
carrying them and watching them during church they need to learn how to be in
church and look if you are sick and you stay home with the kids teach them watch
the services at home and teach them how to behave at home as well let them know
we didn't get it get to go to church today but we're watching the preaching
you need to sit down sit up straight and listen okay and so to prevent chaotic
behavior in church teach them how to behave while at home and during the
preaching services it's important don't misunderstand me we know the kids get
out of hand sometimes it's perfectly fine just make sure you do something
about it when they do number three to prevent malicious behavior later
discipline your children for being mischievous now don't allow your kids
to just be a bully in here and just you know do mischievous malicious things to
other children you know and if a parent comes to you with these concerns don't
just write it off and think that that parent has something against you you
know especially if you have more than one report of this do something about it
because what you don't want is to get to me because then I have to like you know
bring the hammer down during the sermon or something like that because you're
not you're not withholding your child from being malicious to other kids okay
number four to prevent your child from feeling insecure exercise unity in
marriage now this is important the greatest security that you can give your
kids is the fact that you and your spouse love each other and you get along
okay disagreements between you and your spouse should be done behind closed
doors again did I say you can't have disagreements no there will be
disagreements but have the decency that if you do have disagreements not to do
it before the kids you are imprinting in their minds and in their little souls a
measure of insecurity that you're gonna have to pay for later on because the
fact of the matter is that God has ingrained within them to get their
security from mom and dad loving each other and getting along understand so if
you have a disagreement with your spouse you know and you want to throw a frying
pan frying pan at him or something just do it behind closed doors or something
don't do it at all I'm exaggerating here but if you can't help yourself at least
wait till the kids go to bed okay I'm exaggerating obviously I'm being
facetious here what I'm saying is you know when whenever my wife and I have
had a disagreement and we were we were definitely just just in disagreement
about something it was like a passionate thing we've always said let's do this
after the kids are going to bed you know we need to talk about this later because
we're taking our kids emotions and minds and souls into consideration they need
to understand that mom and dad are always in unity and you never want to
create an atmosphere where by the way children pick up on this and what they
do is that if there's disunity in the marriage they're not gonna tell you all
you guys aren't getting along but it's gonna communicate to them I could pick
one spouse over another mom over dad dad over mom to take my side when I'm not
allowed to do something by one parent or something and then they just go with one
parent over the other that's not what you want
that's called disunity that's not God's order so what you do is if you have a
disagreement be adults about it control your temper control your anger and say
we'll discuss this afterwards okay let the kids go to bed and then apologize to
each other come to terms with whatever you guys are arguing about and move on
if not you will create feelings of insecurity in your children later on
okay number five am I skipping anything here no number five to prevent raising
entitled children teach them to work and to hear the word no tell them no
Ephesians 4 28 says let him that stole steel no more but rather let him labor
working with his hands the thing which is good that he may have to give to him
that needed okay and let me just say this tonight there might be some kids
are disappointed greatly because they lose because they lost my kids might
lose I don't know but you know what we can't necessarily I mean I don't know
what kind I don't know I might be shooting myself in the foot of here but
I don't know if they're giving consolation prizes okay no good okay no
consolation prizes you know just like here's a participation trophy or
something like that no participation trophies kids need to learn how to lose
sometimes okay and losing as a great as a greater teacher than succeeding
actually okay and so teach your children to be good sportsmen to have good
sportsmanship when they lose and to be happy for their friends if they are the
victor and and your children are not okay teach them to work teach them to
hear the word no and I should have added on there teach them to be good not to be
sore losers okay so I'll get it next year all right
number six to prevent bad influences from stealing your child's heart win and
protect their heart now I think this is more applicable to when your kids a
little older especially in their teenage years but it obviously begins now okay
and you need to make sure as parents that you are constantly trying to win
your child's heart by spending quality time with them okay and right now is
actually the easiest time to win our children's hearts because our children
they view us as heroes okay they kind of view us as like the greatest thing ever
we're like heroes to them and so we need to take advantage of that and win their
hearts over so that transitions over into their teenage years and essentially
instead of following you because you're their hero they follow you because they
respect you as a leader okay Bible says in Proverbs 23 verse 26 it says my son
give me thine heart and let thine eyes observe my ways now some heart stealers
out there can come in the form of devices iPads phones and so parents I
know we live in 2023 however your kid doesn't always have to be in front of a
device computer an iPad you know if you allow your kids to watch things on iPad
or a phone or whatever make sure it's a treat and make sure you are supervising
them okay but when they expect every day to be able to watch something and it's
just like this is what we do I want to watch something you know at that point
the device needs to be taken away okay and and here's the thing like you know
that my wife was taking my kids to the eye doctor and the doctor was saying
that a lot of kids have these eye issues now very early on and the reason they
have a lot of eye issues is that it's because of the devices that they're on
but it's not the blue light or whatever the light or whatever it is it's because
they're not necessarily they're spending so much time in front of a device
they're not necessarily exercising their eyes to see far away because they're
always in front of it so they're not exercising and using the muscles in
their eyes to look far away because they're always on a device okay so
essentially to become nearsighted early on but you know the there's a greater
danger than that and that's someone who can be on a device if you're just giving
them unfettered access to the internet who can steal your child's heart you
need to make sure that you supervise them and not just say well here's the
device so I can just give me a break or something like that you know let me just
let you watch this and just give me a break from you no why don't you just put
a book in front of them instead you know part and I'm gonna cover in just a bit
part of our recreation at home is our kids reading give them all books part of
recreation at our home is going to the library allowing them to pick like five
books obviously we we filter what books are getting and then they go home and
they just read those books you know what the great thing about that is they
learn something and then they're talking to you he's my son's talking
about airplanes and how they have this and that I'm just like I don't know
anything about that but you know you like knows more about airplanes than I
do but hey I'd rather have him sit and actually read a book then watch
something and again I'm not against my kids watching something but it's a treat
okay it's not a babysitter and these things can often steal your children's
hearts and that could be a sermon in and of itself but I need to move on here
look at number seven to prevent chaos and uncertainty with your children keep
a schedule my father-in-law is to say don't be spiritual crackheads where you
just do things at a whim take a nap at a whim eat wet a whim play at a whim you
should have schedules for your kids lives I know that's like a dirty word
sometimes but it's true your kids need schedules okay I would talks about teach
us to number our days that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom and let me just
focus on this subject right here naps kids need naps but they need scheduled
they need scheduled naps not just whenever they're tired now there's gonna
be instances if you're traveling going out of town or something the schedule
can be thrown off and they take naps at different times but in general when
you're at home mom should schedule the naps look naps do wonders my friends I
mean I like naps actually you know when I was a kid I didn't like naps but now
when I'm older I kind of like them now you know but I'm saying naps do wonders
for kids and they need naps but you can't let them just dead just designate
their own schedule though it's like oh they're tired they're just gonna go to
sleep you need to have a schedule for them so let me just give you my schedule
not my schedule but my kids schedule let me just give you a bare basics of my
kids schedule here okay now the big kids when I say the big kids I'm talking
about Bruce, Kyla and Isaiah not so much Bruce because he's about to be seven so
we're kind of transitioning him into a different schedule because he's not as
tired anymore but the big kids all have the same sleep schedule so they wake up
at 7 after they wake up they all make their beds they clothe themselves they
do a chore that's designated specifically for them then they eat
breakfast after they eat breakfast they have Bible time then they have book time
and then before lunch they have like a recreational time which could be going
to the library getting books going to the park to go burn some energy or just
being just having constructive fun at home playing in the backyard with the
water table or something like that right now it's the summertime so it's different
when it's when it's when they go back into school and I'm talking about home
schooling you know they you know they obviously do homeschool work okay I
think it's for about like an hour hour and a half or so but during the summer
for example they have that recreational time is reading they play on a water
table they do things of that nature I don't know if this lady's looking for
could someone help her out she looks lost oh Brother Chevy's got it never
mind so so they wake up okay after they wake up make their beds they clothe
themselves then they they eat breakfast after they eat breakfast or I'm sorry
they do the chore they eat breakfast then they have reading time then
recreational time and then they have lunch then after they have lunch they
clean up okay and then they take a nap from one to three okay now this is
important okay parents listen up this is not the standard but it's a pretty good
standard though you want your kids taking a nap around this specific time
don't have them taking a nap at four or five six o'clock in the evening because
then they take a two hour nap and then they don't go to sleep to like 12 1
o'clock in the morning and then you have this chaotic atmosphere in your
house where you're tired but your kids are not okay so if you don't have a
schedule just follow mine okay have your kids take a nap from one to three now my
son Bruce doesn't need a nap he's in the stage where he's not tired during that
time he did need a nap before but now he kind of he doesn't so during that time
he has quiet time where he's reading a book he's doing some sort of
constructive project or something like that and he's just leaving my wife
alone okay and my wife tells him like this is quiet time so that means you go
read a book and it's not a punishment for him because he loves to read boy
loves to read set up Kyla put your feet down Bruce so he he reads a book he has
quiet time and it kind of gives my wife some time to like clean you know wash
the dishes take care of my operation because the kids are knocked out
upstairs Bruce is reading the book he's doing something constructive downstairs
that's a nap from one to three after that they get a snack and then they kind
of have free play before dad gets home then we have dinner approximately around
530 or so and then after that is just time with dad either we play tag or
tickly it's a tickle party or we go take a walk around the block and then when we
get back it's shower time and essentially they're in bed between 730
and 8 now that's not to say they're asleep by 8 o'clock sometimes they fall
asleep 830 the latest would be like 9 o'clock but most of the time it's like
830 okay and then they get a full night's rest up until the next morning
okay and here's the thing is that there's obviously room for error here
sometimes right there's a kid who doesn't want to take a nap and then he
keeps getting up so what I do we'll revisit the first point which is Spanx
right and we got to teach our kids via Spanx right now it's time to go to sleep
and what kid likes to take no kid likes to take a nap right but we're teaching
them stay in bed close your eyes because we know what's best for them and we know
they need that sleep or else they're gonna be throwing fits later on because
they're too they're over tired understand now when Helen was about 18
months she would actually take a short nap in the morning but she doesn't
really need that anymore and obviously there needs to be room for you know
there's transitions here as they get older their schedules change a little
bit but in general this is what the schedule is okay it's not complicated
it's pretty simple but what you don't want is a chaotic house and by chaotic I
mean you just kind of let your kids kind of do whatever they want to do
sleep whenever they want to sleep eat whenever they want to eat do whatever
they want that's not how should we run my friends
God likes order and let me say this mom you'll be a lot crazier you'll be a lot
less emotional if you keep a schedule like this or something similar to this
and you know what your kids like that they like to know was it you know my
wife has a schedule on actual on the fridge for the kids and they go there
and they check off their list of what to do and if they get off kilter and start
doing something else my wife always tells them what's on your schedule and
they go look I'll throw out the trash I gotta go throw out the trash or
something okay that's too much yeah but hold on a second it's not really too
much because don't you live by I hope you live by schedule okay because you
know if you didn't live by a schedule that's probably why your kids don't
live by a schedule either and so if we all need schedules we all need you know
specific task lists that we that we follow and and routines that we have and
so our kids need that okay all right let me move on here number eight I gotta I
gotta hurry up actually to prevent jealousy don't have favorites okay number
nine to prevent low self-esteem praise your children for the good that they do
now you may have grown up in a home where praise was not something that you
received a whole lot but you need to change that if that's the case okay and
let me give you an example let me just give you a really raw example you know
my daughter Helen is being potty trained right now and this morning she went
potty on the toilet you know what we do we celebrate yeah
clapping for her my wife's like you get a chocolate and she feels rewarded and
she's been doing it a couple times like since last week she's been going and in
the morning she'll wake up and her diapers dry and they're like all right
let's go potty and put her on the toilet there and then she goes and we just like
all of us even the kids the kids like yeah hey it's a great accomplishment
okay and so you'd be surprised how much how far praise goes okay and praise goes
a long way not just for the kids but by the way for your spouse as well you know
the Bible says as a finding pot for silver in the furnace for gold so was a
man to his praise and so when you praise someone even for the little that they do
it causes them to want to excel even further and especially when it comes to
kids because let me say this kids want to please their parents really bad and
kids want to impress their parents really bad which is why kids are always
like look at me dad look at me mom look at me and they're constantly showing us
their drawings and coloring and you know how they can backflip or back kick or
whatever because they want our praise so it's important that you praise your kids
and you make a big deal of the small things don't be like oh you call that a
back kick you know this is a back kick or something you know call that going to
the body or something you know it's like you know you want to prevent low
self-esteem and the way you prevent that in them is by praising your children and
and and helping them to realize that you're pleased with them okay and you're
like well they know that I'm pleased with them but if you're not verbalizing
it they won't know you need to verbalize it and it almost to the extent you kind
of got to exaggerate a little bit okay but it's important for your kids and by
the way along with this point tell your tell you excuse me tell your sons that
they're handsome and tell your daughters that they're beautiful okay you say why
well as they grow up someone else is gonna tell them and be able to steal
their heart so you got to make sure that you keep that in check by feeding that
aspect of their lives by letting them know because you know if a father does
not win the heart of his daughter someone else will so you got to make
sure you're constantly you know letting them know that they're beautiful and
very attractive and and and you know they're your sons they're handsome
they're strong they need that from their parents okay number 10 to prevent having
children too close together exclusively breastfeed your babies number 11 here's
a big one okay and this is where I'll probably spend the remainder of the
sermon on this particular point to prevent an endlessly exhausted mother
help your baby get into a consistent eat wake play sleep routine and I'm
referring to newborns and obviously infants alright so let's talk about this
okay this is important because when it comes to this there's actually two
schools of thought in this regard and as far as I know my wife and I are the
only ones who adhere to one of these particular ones and pretty much everyone
adheres to the other one okay which if this if after the sermon you continue to
that's your prerogative it's your business it does no skin off my back or
my wife's back this is just something I'm giving you to help you so there's
two schools of thoughts the first one being demand feeding okay and the
philosophy behind demand feeding is that you demand feed because you want to
prevent having a baby too close okay obviously the natural gods natural
spacing is about approximately two years and so the philosophy is if you do
demand feeding you will succeed in that area and you have your children will be
approximately two years apart apart okay the second school of thought is the
full feeding method okay what this does is it trains your baby's body to eat as
certain intervals and when they are old enough getting more of their calories in
the daytime but this one also prevents you having babies too close as well in a
natural way okay the goal for both of these the mom who does demand feeding
and the one who does the full feeding method is to keep the body in a state of
lactation amenorrhea basically where the body is able to not or it places the
body in such a way that you don't have babies closer you don't get your cycle
back and therefore your children are evenly spaced approximately about two
years that's the goal of those who do demand feeding and those who do the full
feeding method now this is a touchy subject okay and I think it's a touchy
subject because of the fact that most people for example in the new IFB they
do do demand feeding and they view the full feeding method as a scheduled
feeding and the reason I think they're like well if you do scheduled feeding
then you're gonna have your babies very close together or I'm sorry you're gonna
have your babies yeah close together like back to back and obviously that
poses a problem but my wife does full feeding method and all of our kids are
about two years apart okay now let me say this is that there are there are
people on both sides demand feeding and full feeding who have been successful at
both okay so I've seen people who do the demand feeding and they have their
children spaced apart two years but I've also met a lot of people who do the full
feeding method who also have their children two years apart they both been
successful at it however however I know more women that demand feed that live
exhausted sleep deprived lives that women who do the full feeding method
who get their cycles back in fact I've never met a woman who does the full
feeding method who had a baby back had babies back-to-back okay now there's
obviously exceptions to the rule I'm sure that there's someone out there who
has and there's exceptions to even the rule of the demand feeding because I've
known women who demand feed and they still have their kids back-to-back okay
but in general scientifically speaking the full feeding method is pretty much
foolproof about 99% of the time my wife did it my sister-in-law's do it my
mother-in-law has done it my mother-in-law has had eight kids all
about two and a half or two years apart doing the full feeding method okay now
keep in mind the point that I'm making here in order to avoid a sleep deprived
mom okay which in my assessment it happens quite a bit and I hear about it
a lot even in our church I see it and I hear about it a lot they're just sleep
deprived and it's messing with their minds with their emotions or hormones
are out of whack and it just don't get any sleep and in my opinion you can get
that beloved sleep by doing the full feeding method and still still have your
children space two years apart approximately two years apart okay now
let me give you some misconceptions about the full feeding method that
people will often bring up miss can say it's not in your notes or actually it
isn't you know sorry but I think it's already filled out right like there's no
blanks misconception number one if you schedule your baby you will get your
cycle back that's a misconception because if you put your baby on a
feeding routine where the feedings are close enough you never go them more than
four hours without breastfeeding your body will stay in a state of lactation
almenorrhea so never go beyond four hours of feeding and your body will
retain that lactation almenorrhea my wife never goes more than three hours
during the day if you go more than four hours it will trigger your body to get
ready to have another baby okay so she stays basically at approximately three
hours feeding the baby and she does fine now at approximately three months when
the baby's three months babies are able to actually sleep through the night so
for example my daughter Helen she's about three months and she just
transitioned into pretty much sleeping through the night so my daughter is like
she goes to sleep at you know whatever time and she literally sleeps for about
seven hours okay now obviously you know things happen and I don't know my wife
might get pregnant or something right and then you can just discard this but I
don't believe that's gonna happen because it hasn't happened with any of
our kids and in general the consensus even the scientific evidence has shown
that you can do that and look moms doesn't that sound nice a full seven
hours of sleep okay and obviously before the three months it's not healthy
for them to go seven hours they need the calories and so you need to feed them
here's another misconception if you don't demand feed you will not give or
the baby will not get the hind fatty milk that's a common misconception
because what they need is actually a full feeding instead of snacking when
you when you give a full feeding to your child they are getting the hind milk
they're getting the full feeding the good quality milk and full feeding helps
put your child into a good routine so that you know that they're full so what
happens is when you give your child your baby a full feeding let's say for
example 20 minutes later they start crying you can exclude that as being a
problem with the child you know that it's not because they're hungry there's
another issue involved whereas with the demand feeding if your child cries
thereafter you're automatically thinking oh they're hungry so then you
feed them again so they did they still get the hind fatty milk even with the
full feeding method here's another misconception full feeding is you letting
your baby cry and not feeding them when hungry now I remember one time somebody
asked my wife and you know I don't know if they're well-meaning or not but you
know it was it was it was funny the way they worded the question they're like do
you feed your baby when they're hungry or do you schedule your child now what
is the implication there do you feed their child when you're hungry or do you
starve them that's basically what they're implying you know it's like are
you gay and does your mom know you're gay you know what I mean so they kind of
worded the question in such a way that they're implying that my wife starves
our children or something like that because in their minds it's like well if
you're letting your baby cry that means that all right if you do the full
feeding you're just gonna let your baby cry you're gonna starve them you're
gonna allow them to go hungry because there is a movement out there that does
schedule that does do that okay and that's not what we're talking about
we're talking about getting a full feeding in and then when I talk about
full feeding I'm talking about my wife drains you know her breasts by feeding
the baby and even switches them over to the other breast to get a full and
that's what we know it's like they're all milk drunk you know it's like this
child is full okay full feeding method is when you make sure each time your
baby nurses they're emptying out your breasts and of course there are
instances where you keep them asleep you still arouse them to eat it takes a
little longer but there's nothing wrong with taking a little longer if they get
a full feeding they're gaining the nutrition that they need and you're
getting the sleep that you need to if they're crying 20 minutes later
eliminates the possibility they're hungry again and obviously the exception
is when they are experiencing the growth spurt sometimes children not sometimes
children do go through a growth spurt and that's when you have to adjust the
schedule and be flexible in that area putting them in a routine will train
them their metabolism and helps them to be better sleepers and you know people
are like yeah but then the baby can't sleep with you and you know how about
but I don't really I haven't seen that though there's no
disattachment between my children and my wife or my children to me I mean my
children still come in the morning when I'm in bed and they want to snuggle okay
routine doesn't mean rigid by the way the schedule serves you and not the
other way around and obviously you do have to adjust the older your child gets
and for more information about this you can see my wife if you're interested in
that but the reason I want to bring this up is because of the fact that you know
thank God we're having a lot of babies in our church and I think it's a
blessing from God but what I've seen and I'm sure a lot of people in our church
have seen as well is mom suffering through the night because they just
don't sleep at all and you know what that causes women to do just be
extremely emotional dad comes home and the mom is just like losing her mind and
it causes her to kind of just be discouraged because like I think we're
doing it the right way but I'm so sleep-deprived not getting you sleep
sometimes moms can even go through a state of psychosis when they are
sleep-deprived okay and let me just give you a personal illustration there's
there's one child that we had that was demand-fed and not necessary because we
chose to demand feed it's because it was kind of forced upon us because my wife
got sick and when my wife was sick we the schedule just went out the door at
the window and we just felt like we just needed to feed one of our children
whenever you want it and you know what to this day he kind of has some issues
with sleep you know kind of affected his sleep and we're still working on him
even to this day and so you know moms in order for you to prevent this for you
prevent you from just kind of losing your minds you can still have the best
of both worlds okay and here's the best of both worlds give your child the full
feeding the nutrition that they need and get a good good night's sleep as well
and husbands you know husbands don't know a whole lot about this okay so do
the research if you need to but I'm just saying you'll have a happier wife if you
go this route and you'll be a lot happier when you come home too because
then your wife is actually getting the sleep that she needs and she's not like
blowing up on you or whatever because she's not getting a sleep or something
okay well we're gonna demand feed no matter what and you know what so-and-so
demand feeds well you know what that's great if that's what they do and that
that's what you feel you need to do it's perfectly fine I'm not saying this is
gospel either this is not like doctrine I'm not telling you if you don't do this
you're not right with God this is literally just to help your wife and I
have five children and all but one was did the full feeding method and it looks
like they're turned out pretty good we all have and people think yeah but you
didn't really have it like two years exactly apart it's like a year and a
half but at the same time I could point to one of my pastor friends who did the
man feeding and they also had their children about a year and a half apart
as well we say approximately two years is literally approximately two years
okay and so I don't think this this needs to be a point of contention this
is just advice from one family to another for the sake of your wife giving
the quality quality sleep that she needs you know so she's not pulling out her
hair you know because she's not getting any sleep okay I'll move on I digress
but if you have any questions you can see my wife because I don't do all that
stuff number 12 to prevent being ashamed as parents don't leave your
children to themselves and I think a good way to apply this is don't let your
children have sleepovers okay don't allow your children to go and sleep over
at someone else's house it only takes one night to destroy your child's life
like yeah but these are people that we know you don't really know them and so
don't roll the dice on that you know it's dangerous you know they don't need
to have sleepovers that's not necessarily I've heard of horror stories
of parents who allow the children to have sleepovers and it literally ruined
their their children their child's life and even to this day and so don't leave
them to themselves Proverbs 29 15 says the rod and reproof give wisdom but a
child left to himself and bring it to his mother to shame and so just a lot
of practical things here and I hope it helped some of you and save it for later
and again if you have any questions you can see my wife regarding the the full
feeding method there and if not then you know just keep doing what you're doing
we're just here to help you man guys are you guys ready for the Olympics let's
pray who is that TJ right let's pray father we thank you so much for your
word and we're so thankful for the promises and the principles that we could
extrapolate from there I pray to you bless our time together Lord bless the
kids olympics and also pizza to follow the fellowship and all there is we love
you we thank you pray these things in Jesus name amen
and then our last song 145 it is well my soul sorry number 145
see on that first verse when peace like
Oh
my soul
it is well
with my soul
it is well
though Satan
ah
let
red
cry as regarded by
and his own
it is well
with my soul
it is well
my soul my sin
this
my
and I
no
praise
my soul
it is well
with my soul
it is well
my soul see on that last verse and Lord hate the day
when my faith shall be
the clouds we roll back as a scroll
Oh
it is well
with my soul
it is well
with my soul
amen wonderful seeing you are dismissed