The Song of Solomon chapter 1 in the Bible reads,
The Song of Songs, which is Solomon's,
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth,
For thy love is better than wine,
Because of the savour of thy good ointments,
Thy name is as ointment poured forth,
Therefore did the virgins love thee.
Draw me, we will run after thee,
The king hath brought me into his chambers,
We will be glad and rejoice in thee,
We will remember thy love more than wine,
The upright love thee.
I am black, but comely,
O ye daughters of Jerusalem, as the tents of Kadar,
And the curtains of Solomon.
Look not upon me, because I am black,
Because the sun hath looked upon me,
My mother's children were angry with me,
They made me the keeper of the vineyards,
But mine own vineyard have I not kept.
Tell me, O thou whom my soul loveth,
Where thou feedest, where thou makest
Thy flock to rest at noon,
For why should I be as one
That turneth aside by the flocks of thy companions?
Thou know not, O thou fairest among women,
To go thy way forth by the footsteps of the flock,
And feed thy kids beside the shepherd's tents.
I have compared thee, O my love,
To a company of horses and pharaoh's chariots,
Thy cheeks are comely with the rows of jewels,
Thy neck with chains of gold.
We will make thee borders of gold with studs of silver,
While the king sitteth at his table,
My spikenard sendeth forth the smell thereof.
A bundle of myrrh is my well beloved unto me,
He shall lie all night betwixt my breasts,
My beloved is unto me as a cluster of campfire,
And the vineyards of En Gedi.
Behold, thou art fair, my love.
Behold, thou art fair, thou is dove's eyes.
Behold, thou art fair, my beloved, yea pleasant.
Also, our bed is green.
The beams of our house are cedar,
And our rafters are fir.
Let's pray, dear Lord God,
thank you for just every soul here
at this church right now, Lord,
just thank you for pastor,
we pray that you bless him right now,
fill him with the Holy Spirit
as he preaches unto us your word, Lord.
Just help us at the church
to be edified by the preaching,
we pray this in Jesus' name, amen.
Amen.
Okay, we're in Song of Solomon chapter one,
and the title of my sermon this evening
is Mine Own Vineyard Have I Not Kept.
Mine Own Vineyard Have I Not Kept.
Look at verse number five of Song of Solomon,
it says in verse number five,
I am black, but comely,
O ye daughters of Jerusalem,
as the tents of Kedar,
as the curtains of Solomon.
Look not upon me because I am black,
because the sun hath looked upon me,
my mother's children were angry with me,
they made me the keeper of the vineyards,
but mine own vineyard have I not kept.
And let me explain to you
what this is referring to,
and then we're gonna get into
some application thereafter.
Of course, this is the maiden
that Solomon will be pursuing,
and it's essentially saying here
that this woman is someone
who is obviously very industrious,
she's constantly working,
even to the point where
she's kinda given responsibility
that isn't necessarily her responsibility,
but it's kinda laid upon her,
she's cumbered with other people's responsibilities,
and the implication here is that
she has to take care of other people's vineyards,
and so she's taking care of other vineyards,
she's constantly under the sun,
and she even says I am black, but comely,
meaning she is overly exposed to the sun,
constantly working in these vineyards,
so she has a, not a slight tan,
she has a very much, a very big tan,
but it says here that she's comely,
so she's still very much attractive,
she's beautiful, but it's just essentially
communicating the fact that
this is someone who is constantly laboring outside,
even to the point where she is cumbered
with the responsibility of others,
and you think to yourself, well that's good,
this is a very industrious woman,
she is someone who is constantly working,
she's not idle, but it says here in verse number six,
they made me the keeper of the vineyards,
but mine own vineyard have I not kept,
and what it's essentially saying here is
really there's two meanings to this particular passage,
one is she's so busy taking care
of other people's businesses that essentially
she doesn't have time to kind of take care of herself,
her appearance, but also is referring to the fact that
she's so cumbered about other people's tasks
and responsibilities that hers are becoming cumbered,
she's not taking care of her own personal responsibilities,
she's neglecting her own vineyard,
and when I read this a couple weeks ago,
I thought to myself, that's a really good principle
to live by and to think about,
that at the end of the day,
we're all given certain responsibilities,
and sometimes all responsibilities breach
into other people's lives,
we have to help other people, disciple other people,
we have to be conscientious of other people's well-being,
but not at the neglect of your own vineyard though,
you need to make sure that you're actually
keeping up with your own vineyard
while simultaneously helping others with theirs,
and if you find yourself incapable of balancing both,
then if one needs to be sacrificed,
it's the other vineyards, not your own vineyard,
and obviously the Bible teaches us to be selfless,
to think upon others, let this mind be in you,
which is also in Christ Jesus,
and to be an individual who's self-sacrificial,
but not to the extent where you're not keeping up
and keeping yourself pure,
keeping yourself in the ways of the Lord,
making sure that you're keeping up
with your spiritual life,
because if you don't and you neglect those things,
you're worthless to everyone else,
so it's important that we keep up with our own vineyard,
here's a good way, a modern way of saying it,
keep your own backyard clean, okay?
Worry about yourself,
make sure that you are keeping track or inventory
of your own personal spiritual life,
of your affairs, of your responsibilities,
so that you can effectively help others
with their vineyard.
It'd be wrong if you're helping other people
to be successful in their areas of life,
whether it's their marriage, their child-rearing,
their work, their spiritual life,
but yours is just completely falling apart, okay?
And in fact, go to chapter two, if you would,
chapter two of Song of Solomon,
some Christians can be so overly involved
in other vineyards that they allow their own
to fall apart and degrade,
and that's not God's will for your life,
he obviously wants us to care for others
and be a blessing to others,
but not at the expense of taking care
of what he's commanded us to take care of as well,
don't let your vineyard go to waste,
don't let the fruit go to waste,
don't allow foxes to come and spoil the vine,
look what it says in Song of Solomon, chapter two, verse 15,
take us the foxes, the little foxes,
that spoil the vines, for our vines have tender grapes,
don't become so overly critical
or overly involved in other people's lives
to the point that you neglect the fact
that the foxes are spoiling your vineyard, okay?
You're so involved in what other people are doing,
whether it's in our church or other people's churches,
or just at your job or in your family,
to the point that you're not even taking notice
of the fact that there's foxes
who are just destroying your vineyard,
they're taking your fruit,
they're destroying the work of your hands,
you need to make sure
that you're taking care of your marriage,
you need to make sure
that you're taking care of your kids,
you need to make sure you're taking care
of your walk with God,
you need to make sure that you're doing your job
at your job, that you're pleasing your boss,
that you're pleasing your husband,
that you're pleasing your wife,
that you're doing that
which is right on the side of the Lord,
and then you can extend
and be a blessing to others as well, okay?
Keep up with your own vineyard.
Go with me, if you would, to Luke chapter six.
Luke chapter six, I'm gonna go through a series,
just briefly, of verses in the Bible
that essentially teach this very important principle
of keeping up with yourself,
or keeping your own vineyard,
making sure that you are self-sustaining, okay?
Self-governing, that you are leading yourself
before you attempt to lead others.
While you're turning to Luke chapter six,
I'm gonna read to you from Proverbs 24, verse 27,
it says, prepare thy work without,
make it fit for thyself in the field,
and afterwards, build thine house.
Keep up with your vineyard,
and then you can help others with theirs.
Look at Luke chapter six and verse 41.
Here's a great example of this.
It says, and why beholdest thou the mote
that is in thy brother's eye,
but perceiveest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
So this is a person who is overly critical
of the little mote, the little speck that's in someone's eye
and they're essentially neglecting the fact
that they have this redwood tree in theirs, okay?
And this is a good way to describe that person.
It's called a what?
A hypocrite, right?
They're so overly critical about you,
they're getting on you, but they have bigger problems,
okay?
And he's saying like, why are you even paying attention
to the mote in that person's eye,
but you're not removing that, you know,
beam out of yours.
You're not removing that redwood out of yours.
He says, either how canst thou say to thy brother,
brother, let me pull out the mote that is in thine eye,
when thou thyself beholdest not the beam
that is in thine own eye.
Thou hypocrite cast out first the beam
out of thine own eye,
and then thou shalt see clearly
to pull out the mote that is in thy brother's eye.
So notice it's not saying don't get involved
in other people's business,
don't try to help people with the mote.
It's saying you have no business in helping other people
with the mote in their eye
if you got a freaking beam in yours.
It's just like, hey man,
I notice you're not really keeping up
with your walk with God.
You haven't been in church, but you haven't been in church.
You're not reading the Bible.
You know, you basically lose credibility
when you haven't mastered or been disciplined
in the disciplines that you're criticizing other people
for not having.
And the solution, the formula,
is that fix that problem first in your life
so that you can have the credibility
to fix that in someone else's life.
It's a pretty simple principle,
and it's a great principle to live by.
And it's important that when we judge others,
we're not judging others of sins
or character flaws that we are severely guilty of.
We need to make sure and we realize
that with what judgment we judge, we shall be judged.
And with what measure we meet,
it shall be measured to us again, okay?
What am I saying?
Keep up with your own vineyard first.
Make sure your vineyard is fruitful.
Make sure that it's well kept.
Make sure that it's being pruned.
Make sure that it's cleaned up
so that when you go and help others with their vineyard,
they're not looking at yours like,
you know you got five foxes over there
just eating up all your stuff?
Oh yeah, don't worry about that, brother.
I'm talking about what you got going on now.
And you know what?
Just mark it down.
There's people that are like that.
They have a tendency to want to point out
all the flaws in your life,
be critical of the things that you're doing,
all the while they're completely failing
at that particular category in their life,
that vineyard that they have.
Ask yourself this.
Would you be able to stand up to the scrutiny
that you place on others?
The criticisms and the scrutiny that you place others in,
are you able to stand up to that same scrutiny
if it was placed upon you?
If the microscope was placed on you,
could you withstand when people are criticizing
what you're doing with your vineyard?
Now go to 1 Thessalonians chapter four if you would.
Let me give you some other verses.
You know, there's a constant warning
throughout the Bible to give heed unto ourselves.
So I'm not saying that we shouldn't care
for others because we need to be mindful of others.
We need to make sure that we esteem others
better than ourselves,
that we mind the things of others
more than our own possessions,
that we put others first,
but this is not at the exclusion
and making sure that you're giving heed to yourself.
And throughout the Bible, you'll see that phrase,
take heed, take heed.
And a lot of times it's like,
take heed unto thyself, right?
Making sure that you are vigilant,
that you're aware of pitfalls in your life,
that you are taking care of yourself.
Let me read to you from Deuteronomy four verse nine.
Only take heed to thyself and keep thy soul diligently.
Lest thou forget the things which thine eyes have seen
and lest they depart from thy heart
all the days of thy life,
but teach them thy sons and thy sons' sons.
1 Corinthians chapter three.
You don't have to turn there in verse nine.
It says, for we are laborers together with God.
Ye are God's husbandry, ye are God's building.
According to the grace of God,
which is given unto me as a wise master builder,
I have laid the foundation
and another buildeth thereupon.
But let every man take heed how he buildeth thereupon,
for other foundation can no man lay
than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ.
Essentially saying, you know, when you're serving God,
don't become so fixated on how others are serving God.
You make sure that you give heed
on how you're building upon your foundation, right?
You know, you may have a certain level
of gifts and talents, capabilities, resources,
finances, opportunities that other people don't.
And you can't really necessarily judge others
on how much they're doing or their lack thereof.
You need to just stick to your laying,
keep your own vineyard, and be mindful
of how you're building upon your foundation, okay?
Look at 1 Thessalonians chapter four, verse 11.
It says in the study to be quiet.
Now, when it says study to be quiet,
that's Greek for shut up, shut up.
Because what does it mean, study to be quiet,
it's just like, hmm, you know, you're just shutting up.
Just keep your mouth shut.
I'm just kidding about the Greek,
but I'm sure it's somewhere there, okay?
And that you study to be quiet
and do your own business, and to work
with your own hands as we commanded you,
that you may walk honestly toward them that are without,
and that you may have lack of nothing.
Of course, this is addressing lazy people in the church,
and it's saying that people in the church
should have a work ethic, not just in the church,
but referring to literally outside the church,
whether it's providing for their families,
having a job, things of that nature.
And it's saying here, you know,
you need to pay attention to what you're doing,
make sure that you have a job,
you're studying to be quiet,
you're doing your own business,
working with your own hands.
What is he saying?
Take care of your own vineyard, okay?
Be mindful of what you're doing.
Go to Galatians chapter six,
Galatians chapter six, if you would.
Let me read to you from Ecclesiastes 10
and verse number eight.
By much slothfulness, the building decayeth,
and through idleness of the hands,
the house droppeth through.
Conveying the fact that if you are idle
regarding your possessions, the aspirations that you,
the achievements that you're trying to, you know,
accomplish in your life, your household,
your resources, your money, whatever it is,
you know, if you're neglectful of the things
that you're supposed to be taking care of,
it's gonna decay, it's gonna drop through.
You know, if you miss a day of Bible reading, okay.
But you know what, you miss two days, all right.
You miss three days, well, now you're getting
into the dark realm there.
Now you're in the red, now it turns into one week,
then it turns into two weeks,
then it turns into three weeks,
then it turns into four, and all of a sudden,
now you haven't read your Bible in three months.
You know what that, that's called,
it's called the building that's in decay.
You know, it's better to fix the leak
when you first see it, than to allow it to continue
to leak, and all of a sudden, you know,
now you have to clean the mold out of the walls,
cause the water got in the walls,
and you just have a lot bigger problem
because you didn't initially take care
of your spiritual life.
And what I'm saying is this, is that, you know,
take care of the problem when you first see it.
When you first see the fox, shoot it.
Kill that thing, okay.
You say, what if I see two foxes,
be like Samson times again and light that thing on fire,
spiritually, okay.
What I'm saying is, don't be idle regarding your vineyard.
Understand that if you're gonna have a fruitful vineyard,
it requires work, it requires effort.
No one is a successful Christian by osmosis,
by accident, by just not doing anything, by being idle.
You have to keep up with your vineyard.
You have to keep up with your business,
if it's gonna be successful.
You have to keep up with your walk with God,
if you're gonna learn anything.
You have to keep up with your soul,
and if you're gonna keep seeing people saved,
you gotta keep up with your marriage.
If it's gonna continue to succeed,
you gotta keep up with your child rearing, amen.
What I'm saying is idleness is the enemy of success.
And a lot of times, some people are idle
regarding their own vineyard,
but they're busybodies regarding other people's vineyard.
You know, they're too busy in other people's matters,
and they're allowing their own personal life
to completely fall apart.
I had you turn to Galatians chapter six,
but let me read to you one last passage here before that.
First Timothy chapter five verse 11,
addressing the younger widows.
It says, the younger widows refused
for when they have begun to wax wanton
against Christ they will marry,
having damnation because they have cast off
their first faith, and withal they learned to be idle.
Wandering about from house to house,
not only idle, but toddlers also, and busybodies,
speaking things which they ought not.
I will therefore that the younger women marry,
bear children, guide the house,
give none occasion of the adversary
to speak reproachfully.
So again, you know, when someone is idle,
their toddlers, their busybodies,
they actually open themselves up
to the temptations of Satan,
to the point they can cast off their first faith,
turn aside after Satan, be deceived,
things of that nature.
Look at Galatians six and verse number one.
It says, brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault,
ye which are spiritual, restore such in one
in the spirit of meekness,
considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.
Bear ye one another's burdens,
and so fulfill the law of Christ.
So again, bear one another's burdens,
means take care of other people, right?
If someone is burdened, we should do everything
in our power to help that person
bear that particular burden,
help that person see that trial through.
But look what it goes on to say in verse three.
For if a man think himself to be something
when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself,
but let every man prove his own work,
and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone,
and not in another, for every man
shall bear his own burden.
We can help others with their burden,
but at the end of the day, we need to realize,
hey, we got our own load to carry too.
And you don't wanna just allow your marriage
to fall apart as you're simultaneously
helping others take care of theirs.
You don't want your business,
your job to completely fall apart
because you're helping someone else with theirs.
It's okay to help someone else be successful,
but not at the expense of your failure
where you're neglecting your
God-given responsibilities, okay?
What's the sermon?
The sermon is simply this.
Keep up with your own vineyard.
Don't be the person that says,
mine own vineyard have I not kept.
Why, because you're keeping up with someone else's.
Go to 2 Corinthians chapter 10.
2 Corinthians chapter 10.
Let me give you one last passage here
before we get into my main points.
2 Corinthians chapter 10, let me also say this,
is that don't compare yourself to others,
especially to the neglect of your own vineyard.
A lot of times people just kinda let their vineyard
go to waste and become decrepit and decay
only because they're so busy
comparing themselves with someone else.
Oh man, look how they got.
Look at the resources that they have.
Look at the house that they have.
Look at the car that they have.
Look at their marriage.
Look at their child.
Look at, look at, and they're just constantly
focused on what they don't have.
What they should be doing is invest
in that energy into their vineyard.
If you spend as much time investing
all that energy into your vineyard,
you would not only have the same vineyard
but possibly even a superior vineyard
than what the person you're comparing yourself to.
Look at 2 Corinthians 10, 12, it says,
for we dare not make ourselves of the number
or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves,
but they measuring themselves by themselves
and comparing themselves among themselves
are not wise, the Bible says.
It's not wise to compare yourself with others, why?
Because it ends up breeding covetousness, envy,
discontentment, and it basically shows you
you're not keeping up with your own vineyard, okay?
All right, so let me give you
a couple points this evening, and it's family time,
and so I'm gonna hit on some very specific things
in our church that as a pastor
feel like need to be addressed, okay?
Keeping up with your own vineyard.
Let's talk about marriage first and foremost, okay?
And I wanna talk about the vineyard of your own marriage,
and I don't have verses for all of these,
but it's okay, there's still good principles, all right?
And maybe you could pull out a verse
and I will say amen to it,
but what I'm about to show you is still true, okay?
Keeping up with the vineyard of your own marriage.
Let me start off by saying that husbands and wives
should take care of their own vineyards
of responsibilities and not be critical one to each other,
meaning that, you know, wives,
keep up with your own vineyard
and stop criticizing your husband about his, right?
Well, you know, my husband, you know,
he's just not a very affectionate,
loving, romantic person, you know?
Well, how about you just take care of your vineyard
and pray that God will move him to take care of his own?
But here's the thing is that a lot of wives,
what they do sometimes is they will criticize
their husband's vineyard of his responsibilities,
but then they're guilty of not even taking their own,
taking care of their own vineyard.
What vineyard?
The vineyard of reverence?
The vineyard of being a keeper at home?
Of being discreet?
Chased?
Of loving your husband?
What about those things?
So while you're just criticizing your husband's vineyard
because he's not keeping up with X, Y, and Z,
you're investing so much time in criticizing your husband,
you're not even paying attention to the fact
that yours is just completely falling apart, okay?
And I'm not excusing the husbands
because here's the thing is that
it goes the same way around, right?
But wives, don't become so overly critical
of your husband's inability to lead the home,
all the while you're neglecting the vineyard of submission,
the vineyard of guiding the house,
the vineyard of discretion,
and the vineyard of being chaste.
And you know what?
If my wife and I really wanted to,
we can sit down and just pull out a piece of paper
and we can just write down all the things
we don't like about each other.
Anybody could do that.
And obviously my wife's list would be shorter than mine.
No, I'm just kidding.
And I get that.
I'll probably give her a three by five
and she could probably maybe fill it up, you know?
But let's be honest.
We could be super critical of our spouses if we wanted to.
But is that really God's will?
Is it God's will for us to just nitpick
at your husband's vineyard, nitpick at your wife's
vineyard, just point out all the flaws,
all the areas that they failed in,
all the areas that they need to work on,
or should you just take care of your own vineyard?
And by the way, when you take care of your vineyard,
your husband, your wife will see that
and be inspired to take care of their own as well.
That's exactly how it works.
But you know what?
A lot of couples think,
I just need to preach to my spouse.
I need to tell them everything that's wrong
with their vineyard and then they'll fix it.
That's how it works.
I need to tell my wife that she needs to submit to me.
I need to tell my wife that she's a loudmouth.
I need to tell my wife that she's a nagger.
I need to tell my wife about all these things.
And you know what?
All those things might be true.
But let me tell you something.
That doesn't fix the vineyard.
What actually fixes the vineyard is when you actually
keep up with your own.
And how does a man keep up with his own vineyard?
Love your wife as Christ also loved the church.
And obviously there's a bunch of categories under that.
Being long suffering,
dwelling with them according to knowledge,
patience, being long suffering,
having charity in your heart, having endurance.
And here's a big one.
And this fruit that I'm about to show you right now
regarding a vineyard is one of the most important fruits
that you can produce there.
And you gotta make sure you keep this one fruitful
and bountiful.
It's called forgiveness.
If you start missing out on all the other fruits
because of your neglect,
one fruit that you should always make sure
that you're growing in your vineyard
is the fruit of forgiveness.
You say, what's the key to a successful marriage?
Well, there's no such thing as a key.
A bunch of different things.
But you know what?
One key that I never wanna do without though
is the key of forgiveness.
Where I readily forgive my wife
and she's ready to forgive me at a moment's notice.
Because the implication there
is that we are gonna offend each other.
That I'm gonna wrong my wife,
she's gonna wrong me at one point or another.
But that when that happens,
I can go to my wife and say, Sarah, please forgive me
for offending you.
I'm sorry that I did that.
And she's like, forgiven.
And then we can just continue to live happily ever after.
Not holding grudges,
not criticizing each other's vineyards.
Because as we're fighting each other,
the foxes are just spoiling both of our vines,
both of our vineyards, okay?
You know, your vineyard of discretion
is being spoiled by the foxes of nagging,
complaining, being insufferable,
being hard to please.
Your vineyard of guiding the house,
you know, like laundry, fixing a delicious meal,
is being spoiled by the fox of social media
and being a busybody.
You know, being a keeper at house
doesn't mean keep up with what's going on
on social media.
And you know, if the laundry's not getting done
because you're on social media,
you're on social media too much.
The house isn't getting clean,
if the children aren't being educated,
if your vineyard is completely falling apart
because you're too busy
looking at the perfect lives of others
on social media, then you got a problem.
And here's a big issue,
is that sometimes people go on social media
to criticize others of their vineyards.
All the while their vineyard is completely falling apart
because they're on social media.
You know, you're on there just criticizing
all the feminists, all the blue-haired leftists,
but hold on a second,
your vineyard is completely falling apart though.
You're being a busybody.
You're being a busybody, you're being idle,
and the foxes are just completely spoiling
you being a keeper at home, okay?
The Bible says in Titus 2, three,
the aged women likewise that they be in behavior
as become as holiness, not false accusers,
not given to much wine, teachers of good things,
that they may teach the young women to be sober,
to love their husbands, to love their children,
to be discreet, chase keepers at home, good,
here's this dirty phrase here,
obedient to their own husbands,
that the word of God be not blasphemed, it says.
What is this?
This is a formula of how to build a great vineyard.
You know, the aged women are teaching the younger women,
hey, if you want to have a successful vineyard,
these are the elements that you need.
Like, okay, yeah, you got it on us, Pastor,
but what about our husbands?
Your husband's perfect.
No, I'm just kidding.
No problem.
I'm moving on to the next point, actually.
No, I'm just kidding.
I'm kidding.
It goes both ways.
You know, judging your wife's vineyard,
all the while your vineyard are providing,
rendering new benevolence,
living a self-sacrificing life,
and is being spoiled by the foxes of laziness,
irresponsible behavior, and video games.
This is like, you know,
oh, you're criticizing your wife for nagging you,
but what about you actually leading your house spiritually?
What about you putting church first?
You know, the only thing that's keeping your family
from church is sometimes you.
Because you don't have the oomph
to actually get up on Sunday morning and say,
let's go, let's, everyone get ready, we're going to church
or how about starting on Saturday night and saying,
I want you to iron all the clothes,
get everything ready because tomorrow is church day
and we're going, everyone's getting up early,
make sure you cook breakfast, everything's ready to go.
You know, tomorrow we're out serving the Lord, okay,
and making church a priority.
So, you know, you want to get on your wife
for not submitting to you and, you know, nagging you,
and those things are wrong,
but what about your vineyard though?
Like, are you leading your family spiritually?
Are you putting church as a priority?
Are you putting God as a priority?
Are you reading the Bible?
Do your children see you read the Bible?
Do your children see you talking about the things of God?
Or did they see you just being lazy,
criticizing leaders, just watching carnal things?
Just being a carnal Christian, you know,
I get that you don't like how your wife's
running her vineyard, but you know what?
Your vineyard's falling apart too though.
And I see some foxes in yours.
So easily we can point out the foxes in each vineyard.
The point that I'm saying is that if you want to fix
that, take care of your own vineyard.
And a lot of times couples will think this way.
Well, I'll take care of my vineyard
if he takes care of his.
I'll take care of my vineyard if she takes care of hers.
That's not the way it works.
God never said take care of yourself
or reverence your husband, love your husband
as long as he loves you back,
as long as he fulfills his responsibilities
and vice versa.
No, he commands us, he's given us the mandate
to fulfill these responsibilities
regardless if it's reciprocated.
Why?
First of all, it's right to do,
but number two, it yields long-term success
in the marriage.
When you are consistent with it, it'll work.
And you know what, to the wife or the husband that says,
yeah, I know the Bible says that, but it doesn't work,
you haven't done it long enough.
And I'm sorry, but you're not the exception
to the rule either.
Like, oh yeah, it works, it just doesn't work with me.
Yes, it does.
Because you're not some unicorn
or God's like, except for this particular person
right here.
No, it requires persistence, longevity
in the practices of these things.
And anybody who's had a successful marriage will tell you
it takes work keeping up with your own vineyard.
Let me also say this when it comes to marriage
and keeping up with the vineyard, your own vineyard.
Husbands and wives keeping up with their own appearances.
What do I mean by that?
You know, if your wife wants you to lose weight,
you better get on some sort of diet.
You better starve yourself or do something.
Well, brother, this is what she got.
This is the optimal, you know, whatever.
If your wife wants you to look a certain way,
you better do it.
Why?
Because your body actually belongs to her.
She owns you.
That's what the Bible says, you know.
And often, you know, there's this thing
where couples get married and they put their best foot
forward initially, but as the years go by,
they kind of begin to neglect themselves
where they're no longer trying to impress each other.
You know what, that's not right.
Keep up with your own vineyard.
You know, I want my wife to be impressed
with how I look.
And you know, if she ever says like,
hey, you know, you need to grow those calves, bro.
You know, or something.
I'm just gonna have to work on that, you know.
Cause that's what my wife wants.
Now she's not gonna do that
cause my calves are fine, you know.
But you know, let's say there's a particular muscle group
that she wants and thankfully, you know,
she doesn't know anything about that so I'm good to go.
But you know, whether there's a specific way
that she wants me to look, you know,
I would have to submit to that
because my body belongs to her.
You know, if I grew out a massive beard
I have in times past, and my wife said
I prefer it shorter, I'm cutting that thing off.
Cause that's what my wife wants.
You understand?
And you know what, keep up with your appearance.
Don't be a sloppy person around your spouse.
Well even married for so long,
that stuff doesn't even matter anymore.
It sounds like you don't care about your vineyard anymore.
And the same goes for the wives too.
You know, if your husband is not satisfied
with your weight then you need to change that weight.
If he thinks maybe you gained a little too much weight,
you know, it's important for you to give heed to that
and say all right, it's time to put in some work
on this vineyard.
Why?
Because your body belongs to your husband too.
And if he wants you to look a certain way,
if he wants you to look the way,
and by the way, let me just make a disclaimer here, okay?
Cause none of us are gonna look like
the way we looked at when we first got married.
Okay?
You know, there's something called age.
You know, something called age,
and there's certain things that are just irreversible.
You know, maybe you're going bald or something,
or you got wrinkles.
You know, there's just, you know,
then you have children, you have excess body fat.
Obviously those are things that you can't necessarily
change, but change what you can change though.
And you know what, when your husband comes home,
and I know people are not gonna like this online,
but who gives a crap?
You know, when you come home, wives,
you should look nice when your husband comes home.
Get dolled up.
Why?
Where we going?
Nowhere!
I just wanna look at a beautiful woman when I get home.
Like, oh man, that's so chauvinistic.
Okay.
I still want it, you know?
You think that changes anything?
You know, I want my wife to keep up with her,
cause she's a good looking woman,
I want her to keep up with that.
I believe she's a good looking woman,
I love to see my wife, and you know what,
she does a great job doing that,
and you know what, I gotta do the same.
You know, don't be walking around the house
with your shirt off, scratching your gut,
or whatever, what's for dinner?
And I get it, you know, we get comfortable.
And you know, you get comfortable,
and you do things that married people do,
and it's just, you know, you kinda move beyond
a certain stage in life, but you should keep in mind
though, folks, listen to me, that you should keep up
with your vineyard to wanna impress your spouse still.
You know?
And you know, get a haircut, okay?
Lose weight, brush your teeth, make yourself look
as attractive as possible to your spouse.
You know, seek to impress your spouse.
Well why, I already got her, you know,
why, you know, I'm already married,
because it's the right thing to do, that's why.
And you know what, if you're constantly keeping up
with your vineyard, then you and your spouse
is not gonna be tempted to look for another vineyard.
Or it's not gonna be attracted by other vineyards.
And I get it, that's not the only factor
that is included with someone committing adultery
or going outside of their marriage,
but you know, that's one of them though.
That's one of them.
And so, you know, as long as I live,
I'm gonna try my best to keep up
with my appearance for my wife.
You know, I'm getting up there in age,
and so there's certain things I can't change,
you know, I got the grades coming in,
and you know, who knows, in 10 years
I might be completely bald, I don't know.
You know, I'm not looking at anybody here,
you know, just the natural course of things.
But you know what, I'm gonna do my best
to keep up with my appearance for my wife's sake.
Because that's what, you know, she deserves that.
And I deserve her also keeping up
with her appearance as well, okay.
And so you know what, if you have to get
on some carnivore diet, if you gotta get on it
for six months, if you gotta get on some ketogenic diet,
if you have to fast, do what you gotta do
to keep up with that vineyard.
Make it happen.
Obviously for health's sake, but just for your spouse's sake
because you know, they married you,
and they deserve you to be at optimal appearance, okay.
Everyone all right out there, or what?
Husbands and wives being critical of other couples,
or envying other couples.
Just take care of your own vineyard.
You know, don't be the couple
that's constantly criticizing other couples in our church
because they're just not exactly like you, okay.
Maybe they're flawed in a certain way,
maybe they do things a little differently,
and then once you get in the car going home,
you're like, yeah, oh man, yeah,
I saw that too, or something, you know.
Oh, why don't you just go ahead
and take care of your vineyard?
You want people putting your marriage under a microscope
and looking at all the flaws of your marriage?
No, so why don't you go ahead
and just mind your own business.
Or, you know, envying other couples,
just thinking that the grass is greener.
Oh man, I wish we were like that,
I wish we had what they had,
I wish we had the freedoms that they had,
the resources that they had, you know.
I wish I was skinny like that,
or you know, I wish I was whatever.
You know what, you're not, so just get over it.
It's never gonna be yours.
You have what you have, appreciate what you have,
and just improve your vineyard, okay.
Let me also talk about this,
when it comes to keeping up with your own vineyard,
unmarried people,
giving advice to unmarried people about being married.
Why don't you just take care of your own,
why don't you just first, you know, build a vineyard?
Don't give advice,
and let me just say this as kindly as possible,
okay, don't give advice if you,
please don't be offended by this either.
Don't give advice if your marriage did not pan out.
Don't do it.
Why, because why would,
and don't be offended by this,
why would I wanna learn from someone
who did not succeed in that area?
And I know that sounds harsh,
but I'm trying to help people here, okay,
that, you know, we can't be receiving advice
from people who have not succeeded
in our particular area that we wanna succeed in.
You know, I'm not gonna listen to someone
who dead lives less than me
on how to, you know, how to do proper form
when the guy can't even get 145 pounds up or something.
You know, it reminds me like, you know,
I don't know if it was like a year ago or something,
I hit some sort of PR,
and there's this fitness trainer, okay,
and I'm not talking about Austin Hite, he's cool,
in case he's watching, okay,
but you know, there's this fitness trainer
who came on and they're like, whoa brother,
hey, your back was, you know,
a little, it was bent over a little bit,
you want, I'm a personal trainer,
you might wanna be careful with that,
but the guy's never dead lifted anything,
and he just became like a fitness trainer,
and he's like, what he was saying is
because I was dead lifting, my back was a little arch,
which by the way, any time you go up in weight
when it comes to a particular dead lift,
your form's gonna break down just a little bit,
it's okay, it's okay for your back
to bend over just a bit
as long as your core is nice and strong, okay,
and they're like, you're gonna hurt yourself,
you better be careful, but I'm thinking to myself,
when have you ever dead lifted anything though?
Let me see you hit some PRs first,
you know, and then we'll talk,
but you know what the same goes for,
I don't wanna hear any advice from someone
who number one is not married,
or number two did not have a successful marriage,
and look, if you did not have a successful marriage
in our church, I love you, we love you,
and we don't hate you, we don't look down on you,
we're not, this is not a condescending thing to say,
and look, not everyone does this,
I'm just saying as a preventative measure,
don't be the person to think that you're just an expert
on how a marriage should be
when your vineyard is not even there.
How am I gonna give advice to a mega pastor,
a pastor who has a church of 1,000
on how to have a successful church,
and I have a successful church,
however, it's not running 1,000,
so obviously that man can teach me something,
you understand what I'm saying?
And look, if you're that person
whose marriages did not pan out,
you know, if you're gonna give advice,
give a disclaimer that you're not an expert in the subject.
Like if someone comes to you and wants advice on marriage,
and you feel like you might have some good advice
maybe of what not to do,
or some things that you would do differently,
because we have people who've done that in our church,
and they're very wise.
I appreciate the people in our church
whose marriage did not pan out,
but they're able to give wise, discreet advice
when asked for it, and they're not prideful about it,
they're not like, yeah, well let me show you how to do it,
this is exactly what you need to do.
No, most of the time they're like, you know what,
I'm not an expert in the subject
because it didn't pan out for me,
but this is what I would have done differently,
or this is what you should avoid,
and then they often give this caveat,
but you should definitely talk to someone
who's currently married,
who knows what they're talking about.
I appreciate that type of advice.
And so when it comes to marriage,
don't be the person that's giving advice
if you've never been married.
If you don't even have a girlfriend.
If you don't have a boyfriend, you're not an expert.
Go freakin' plant a vineyard, first.
But this was the thing,
there used to be people in our church
that would give just unsolicited advice
to all the singles on how to get a girl
when they themselves could not get a girl.
Why in the world would you take advice from anybody
on how to have a relationship
when you can't get yourself one yourself?
This is how you have a vineyard.
Where's yours?
Where's your, I don't see your vineyard.
You're the expert in vineyards,
but yet you don't possess one?
And you know what,
and then these other guys are just like,
oh man, that's wise advice.
Oh really?
It's like saying a Calvinist is an expert
in salvation or something like that.
Just because they sound like,
it sounds like they know what they're talking about.
But they don't even have,
they're not even saved, most of them, right?
And so don't give unsolicited advice,
don't give advice if your marriage did not pan out.
Okay, and if you are gonna give advice,
give a disclaimer.
What I'm saying is this,
keep up with your own vineyard.
And please, again,
and I know I keep saying this,
but I just need to,
you know, I'm not mad at people
whose maybe marriage did not pan out.
I'm not mad at you.
I'm not talking down on you.
I'm not angry with you.
I'm not criticizing you.
Because if you know me personally,
you know that I have a lot of love for you.
You know that I'm very happy that you're in our church.
And I'd do anything for you.
You know, if you ever needed help,
you can always call me and I'm there for you
no matter what.
But can we do family time here though?
You know, can we get some family principles here?
Can I just be 100% honest with you?
Can I just give you this advice that you need to hear?
Okay, this is how things should be, my friends.
All right, let me move on here.
Let's talk about the vineyard of child rearing.
On that note, people who don't have children
judging the vineyard of those who do.
Don't be that person.
You know, if you're single
or if you're a couple with no children,
don't talk about people who do have children
as if you could do better.
You're like, well, if I had kids,
it would be way different.
Oh, really?
You know, and this is a very common thing
where people think like, you know,
oh, I don't know why they don't go sowning a whole lot.
Or why this and that, and it's just like,
oh, maybe it's because they have five kids.
Maybe it's because they have seven kids.
Maybe it's because they have five kids seven and under.
Maybe it's because they still have a baby with them.
You ever thought about that?
No.
Okay then, shut up and keep up with your own vineyard.
Sometimes people have a tendency,
and I'm saying this, I'm speaking from experience,
by the way, because everyone has gone through
something like this.
My wife and I have gone,
I remember being a single and being like,
these people don't know what they're doing.
These people don't know how to be parents.
Wow.
It's just like, if I was the parent
that household would not be run like that.
Because we're all the expert
until we actually start having kids.
And then you're like, oh crap, this is actually hard.
And that's the first one.
And then the second, and then the third,
and then you have a whole tribe of them.
And half of them are having a meltdown.
It's hard.
But then people who don't have children,
they don't understand that.
Folks, if you don't have children,
cut people who do have children some slack in our church.
Okay?
You're like, well, I thought you were just getting
on people who weren't walking out of the service.
I am, because I have children too.
I'm getting on my wife too.
But you need to cut them some slack though.
Okay?
And not think that you could do it better
if you were in their shoes or something like that.
Or you know better, they should be more committed.
Folks, I commend the people in our church
who have children, they're going soul winning,
they're coming to church Sunday morning,
Sunday night, because it's hard.
And let me just say this, if you're single, it's easy.
If you're single, you should be your Sunday morning,
Sunday night, Thursday.
Why?
Because it's easy.
It's not hard.
You know, what's hard is getting your kids
up in the morning, all dressed for church,
okay, feeding them as they're having meltdowns,
getting them all out the house at a reasonable time,
getting them here, having them sit in the service,
and then you're doing soul winning afterwards,
then you got cranky kids, they're hungry,
they're losing it.
Your wives, I mean, folks, these are things
that people don't take into consideration.
So wow, I just thought, you know, this is what we do.
What's the problem?
Oh, you're not going soul winning?
Oh, that's, hmm, okay, you know.
Yeah, let me just put my screaming baby in your arms
for four hours and see how you do.
If you don't have children, don't judge people
for their vineyard.
Because you know what, having a children is a blessing,
but dang, it could be hard.
And you know what, if you have older children,
don't judge those who have younger children
because you already forgot how that is.
Sometimes people who have older children
can be overly critical of those who have
maybe just as many children or more,
but there are younger, and the reason why
is because they forgot what it's like.
Sometimes people have seasons and times when,
you know, families have seasons and times
when they can go soul winning, and you know what,
don't be overly critical, and here's the policy
that I have, is you need to go at least once a week.
And I'll get into soul winning in just a bit,
because I'm going to get on that,
but you know what, don't be overly critical
of a family if they can't go soul winning
because, I don't know, the wife just had a baby.
They're not back sliders.
Or the baby's sick.
And let me just say this, they're always sick.
Yeah.
Fever is life.
I don't know when's the last time we had,
I had a kid that didn't have fever.
She's like, just constantly sick, always sick.
There's transitions, there's little babies.
I mean, you, people who don't have children
and singles need to think about those things, okay?
And realize that a father of five, six, seven kids,
or three, four, or even two, they have other lives
that they have to keep in order.
And I commend parents who are able
to just bring their hoard with them to church,
to put God first, right?
And then mobilize them to go soul winning,
and then mobilize them to go eat at a restaurant,
which is very hard as well, by the way.
Why don't you just like show up
and just like order food or whatever?
Because it's a bunch of kids.
And then mobilize them to all take a nap,
and then mobilize them to get ready
for Sunday night church, and then mobilize them
to get in bed on a Sunday night to get ready.
It's hard.
And you're like, that sounds kind of,
I mean, I personally think I can do it.
Yeah, I know you do.
Be gracious with people who have kids.
Be gracious with how they go soul winning.
You may have someone on your team or whatever,
and they have some little ones,
and maybe they get out of hand a little bit.
And obviously, parents, this is not,
I'm not making an exception for parents
who don't discipline their children.
You better be disciplining your children.
Don't be a negligent parent,
and just allow your children to just be rebellious,
and to run amok, and just be a distraction,
and you're just not restraining them.
You have a responsibility.
Let me just say this about parents,
and let me teach the people who don't have children
and single something about us.
We actually have to pick and choose our battles sometimes.
So what do you mean by that?
You know, there's things that I won't let slide
sometimes with my kids, but depending on the situation,
I might let it slide.
You say, what do you mean?
You know, there's certain attitudes,
or maybe they're throwing a fit.
I'm not gonna tolerate that at home,
because I don't like when my kids throw fits.
I believe it's wrong to whine,
and we try to teach our kids,
we don't whine in this house.
We don't murmur and complain,
fix your attitude, shape up.
But you know what, if they're in the hot sun,
sowning, and they're having a hard time,
I pick and choose my battle,
and I'm not gonna fight that battle.
I know he's having a hard time,
because he's out there with me.
We're almost done, son, we're almost done.
Here's some water,
we'll go get some ice cream afterwards.
And you know what, sometimes people don't get that.
They're like, oh, why are you cutting out early?
Because we got kids.
Because my kid is losing their minds right now,
and they're having a hard time.
Oh, that's weird, so you're just gonna let
everyone go to hell?
Oh, okay, well, you know.
Yes, I am.
But you're staying, so why don't you stick it out
for the next hour and a half,
and you pick up where I left off.
I'll see you later.
Be gracious with people, okay?
And you know, obviously, kids cry in the service.
Be gracious with them, too.
You know, sometimes kids just have a rough time.
All kids have a meltdown.
And I'm talking about sometimes it's a meltdown.
All of a sudden, you know, I'm preaching,
and I'm like, ah, just.
And you're like, what in the world just happened there?
And then the poor mother's just like trying to,
trying to go through the aisles,
and you know, kids have no shame.
They don't care if they're disrupting the service.
My daughter, Helen, does not care at all
if she's disrupting her own father's preaching.
Everyone shall know whatever just happened to her.
And she's gonna scream and cry about it to the very end.
You know, and that's how kids are sometimes.
Okay, be gracious with people like that, okay?
And don't think, oh man, these kids, you know.
Oh man, these parents.
Yeah, but you don't know the whole story, though.
Now again, you know, parents should be
teaching their children, disciplining their children.
You know, I got two kiddos with me right now,
and you know, they don't have their mom next to them,
so I kinda have to oversee them as I'm preaching,
making sure that they're behaving themselves.
This is my little vineyard right here.
And we gotta do what we can with what we have.
Let me also say this.
Those who have many children to those who have few.
And I mentioned this already,
but you know, parents forget how hard it is
when you were a new parent.
And you know, with me and my wife,
you know, this can happen to anybody,
but I think to myself, and I've fallen in this trap,
sometimes we can become overly critical
of someone who only has one, two,
maybe even three children.
And it's just like, yeah, look how careful they are
with their one little peabody or whatever.
You know, I don't know how that was, you know.
They exaggerate so much.
Cause you know, when we first had a bruise,
like a little fall, it's just like, oh no!
Emergency room, it's just like,
it's just like, they fall over,
they fall off the bed or something like that,
and it's just like, please pray everyone.
My child.
You know, it is just, you guys know what I'm talking about.
Right?
I mean, that's how we were, okay?
You know, before it's just like they had snot,
and then you just, you have these particular tissues
that you use to wipe your,
and then after the fifth one,
it's just like, you just use their clothes,
and you're just like, there you go.
And every new parent is gonna be that way.
You guys are gonna be that way.
Everyone goes to that.
And I have to remind myself,
and those with big families should be reminded as well,
not to be overly critical of Gio.
Notice I said Gio, not Sarah, no I'm just kidding.
You know, we can't be overly critical
of those who have just one or two,
because everyone goes to that season.
And be like, oh man, look how they're exaggerating.
Look at that, they can't even.
You know, cause when you have one,
it's just like you're like a helicopter over them.
But then you know, you gain experience,
and you realize it's not that bad,
and then you have more children or whatever.
But what I'm saying is, you know,
be gracious with people who have few,
because you were there at one point too.
There was a time when you had one,
and you exaggerated, and you were like that,
and so we need to be gracious with people who have few,
just as we need to be gracious with those who have many.
And that's my next point,
which is those with few kids
against those who have many,
critical of how disorderly a big family can be.
Sometimes kids have, or families have a few kids,
and they're like, look how disorderly that big family is.
They don't even have anything under control.
But let me just say this.
You know, you have that thought,
and you may think to yourself like,
I know how to like parent really well,
and as you can see, my two children are here,
just perfect, you know, they're just perfect.
I just got everything in order.
Everything is just, yeah,
but then you know what God does?
He throws you this curve ball.
I'm telling you right now, this is doctrine.
You catch this curve ball,
and it's just like something you were just not ready for.
And you know, Pastor Shelley,
one time we were talking about this,
and he's like, he calls it his tribulation child.
And you know what, I can think of no better name.
Because it's a child that you will have
that will humble you.
It'll help you to realize
you're not as good of a parent as you thought you were.
You know, and he's here to teach you something.
She's here to teach you something.
This child is here to help you be a better parent.
And so before you get overly critical
of people with large families,
oh, they're just so disorderly.
They just don't know how to take care of this.
They just, you better watch your mouth
because God's gonna throw you a curve ball,
and we'll see how you do.
What am I saying?
Just mind your own stinking business.
Just take care of your own vineyard.
Be gracious, kind, patient with others,
and at the same time, look at your vineyard,
be thankful for what you have,
build with what you have,
and stop just being critical of other people's vineyards.
Let me just briefly touch on this.
Hey, children, teenagers,
you better stop worrying about your parents' vineyard.
Oh, you know, my parents, why are they making me do this
or why do they have these rules?
Oh, you'll see when you get older.
And the things that you're criticizing your parents for now
you'll see later on that they had a reason why
you just didn't understand it,
and then you're gonna be imposing those same rules
upon your children.
So what you should do as a teenager and as a child
is just keep up with your own little vineyard
that God's given to you, okay?
Here's my last point,
and that is let's talk about the vineyard of the church,
okay, and I have a few points in this regard.
Let's talk about comparing our church to other churches
or being overly critical of other churches.
Hey, we got a vineyard here, amen?
Take care of this vineyard
and stop comparing our church to other church.
Well, at the other church, I saw that they did this.
Well, then either one, go to that church
or two, improve this vineyard.
But stop comparing churches.
Well, you know, I just saw how
they do their sowing program or they do their missions
and I think it's superior and it just, you know,
I just wish we had that here.
Well, we can make your wish come true
and we can just send you to that church.
How about that?
Or you can just be thankful for what you have
and build a vineyard here.
And I think we have a fantastic vineyard.
I love this vineyard
because it's built from the ground up, amen?
We have a lot of laborers here
and who have put in a lot of work over the years
to create this stable church
and to, you know, create a successful work.
Don't compare us to other churches.
And let me say this, don't be overly critical
of other churches either.
Maybe there might be another church that runs less than us
or you may think that they do less than us.
Don't criticize that vineyard.
That's a wonderful vineyard too
and you know what, God's placed you here.
Focus on what you got going on here.
Let me say this is that, let's talk about my vineyard.
You know, as church members, you know,
don't become overly critical of my vineyard,
of what I do in my personal life
or what I do with my family.
Because that could be a temptation too.
And let me say this is that, you know, as a pastor,
I have to see the entire picture
and sometimes you only see one facet
of a decision that I have to make.
You only see one thing, you know?
And sometimes church members, this doesn't happen often,
but sometimes church members can have this attitude
of like, oh, why did the pastor do this?
Or why is he doing?
But you don't really see the entire ministry though.
You don't really understand the pressures
that a pastor has to face working.
You know what, as a pastor, I not only have
the responsibility of preaching God's word,
I sometimes hold some, you know,
some people's marriages in the balance in my hand.
Not in my hand, but it's just like,
I have to like give them the right advice,
the right admonishments and counsel.
I'm dealing with lives here.
And then maybe all you see
when you come to this church is just sowing.
Maybe all you see is just preaching.
But you don't understand like everything else
that takes place in this church.
And so, you know, take care of your own vineyard
as a church member and just let me do my job.
Let me pastor the church.
Let me preach the word of God.
And the great thing about this is it's not a cult.
So if you don't like the preaching here, see ya.
Don't let the door hit you where the Lord split ya.
Get!
I have no quarrel with losing members.
Obviously, I don't wanna lose members.
I love the people here.
I feel as though I have a sincere love for the people here.
I think about my church members all the time.
You're in my heart.
I pray for you.
I love you.
I love spending time with you.
But you know what?
I understand that if you can't understand my position
as a pastor and you feel like
I'm not doing something correctly
or I'm not leading correctly, I get it.
So get, go somewhere else then.
I'm not gonna try to keep you here
if you don't wanna be here.
But you know, I think a better way to do it
is just keep up with your own vineyard.
Just be a good church member, amen?
And you know, if you think you could do my job
better than me, then go start a church and let's see it.
Let's see you go build a vineyard.
You know, cause there's all kinds
of Monday morning quarterbacks, are there not?
All types of people that probably know
how to do my job better than me.
There's all kinds of people on the internet
that know how to be a better pastor than I can
and all that stuff.
Okay, then let's see it.
Go build a vineyard instead of criticizing my vineyard
the way I do things here.
And on the flip side, you know,
I need to make sure that I'm also gracious to you
as a church member because I'm not God
so I don't know everything that's going on
in your life either, you understand?
And so, you know, obviously I have the responsibility
to preach the word of God to the church
but you know what, I don't know what's going on
in your vineyard.
I will say this though, I've been on both sides
of the fence cause I've been a church member
and now I'm a pastor, okay?
Let me just mention these last couple things here.
Let's talk about soul winning and I'm done, okay?
But I need to go through this list though, okay?
Don't be overly critical of people
if they don't go soul winning in our church.
And let me just say this is that
I believe, like I mentioned before,
that everyone should go soul winning at least once a week.
At least once a week, okay?
And if you go more, then amen, okay?
At least once a week.
But if someone doesn't go on a Sunday,
don't be overly critical about them.
Don't put them through a guilt trip.
Don't be all awkward about it.
If they're like, hey, I got something else to do.
They're like, okay cool, well maybe next week
or something.
And don't become overly critical of people.
And here's the thing with Sunday soul winning
cause you know, people might think,
yeah but that's what we do as a church though.
We go on Sunday.
Well let me let you in on a little secret.
I don't go soul winning on Sunday.
You're like.
And let me let you in on another secret.
Most of my pastor friends don't go soul winning
on Sunday either.
Most of them don't go soul winning.
It's just like, wait what?
Yeah because let me explain something to you.
Our Sunday soul winning is actually a service
that the church provides for you.
For convenience.
Because here's the thing is that a lot of people
in our church, they travel from far and wide.
And so we're trying to help you to kill
three birds with one stone.
So while you're here you can get your soul winning in.
You know and get it done in one day.
Because the people who go soul winning on Sunday
maybe they don't have time throughout the week to do it.
It's cool, the church provides a soul winning time
on Sunday for you to do it.
Okay.
Now you know in old IFP they don't have that.
They don't go soul winning on Sundays.
Because they have other times, Saturdays, Tuesdays,
before church on their midweek service or whatever
where they go soul winning and people just
made that their soul winning time.
But you know in the new IFP people travel
far and wide to come to a church.
And so we provide the service of creating
a soul winning time on Sunday for you to go soul winning.
But just because someone doesn't,
doesn't mean they're not right with God
because they might go another time.
And the reason this is important is because
we don't want to have this overly critical attitude
of people where we're just guilt tripping them
on a Sunday because they decide
not to go for whatever reason.
I mean I remember years ago,
because before when I was just a regular church member,
I would go on Saturdays and I would go on Tuesdays
for what they called summer saturation.
And then you know all that drama happened
where I got kicked out of the church and all that,
and you know, I'm getting traumatized here.
All that happened and then you know
I got a secular job and so then
I would go soul winning on Sundays.
And it was me, I think it was brother Marcos,
brother David, and brother Alex,
we would go in between services.
And you say well why don't you do that now?
Because I'm preaching on Sunday
and I can go other times throughout the week.
And I remember like when we started the church
and maybe a couple years into starting the church actually,
there's this one person who always asks me like,
are you going soul winning?
I'm like, no I don't go soul winning on Sundays.
And they would go, oh, okay.
And it's like, yeah, I have to preach on Sunday night
so I typically lose my voice if I just do too much talking
and so no, I'm not going.
And then every week this person would do that.
They're like, are you going to church?
I'm like, no, I don't go soul winning on Sundays.
And then every week it was just like, oh, okay.
Like they were shocked or something.
And the reason why is because they have the mentality
when the new IP, that's when you have to go,
no you don't.
In the new IP we go soul winning all the time.
You can go at any time.
You're not restricted to a specific time period
of when to go.
We just offer this service that you can go on Sundays
if you want to.
You're like, well I know a pastor that goes on Sunday.
Well, good for them.
I'm not doing it because number one,
I'm going to lose my voice.
But number two, I can go soul winning at another time.
I'm preparing my sermon.
I'm taking care of my family and it's not worth it
to take my family all the way back
so they can get their naps in, get fed.
I just keep my family in here.
You know, people stay all day.
Therefore they go soul winning.
The point is that they just go soul winning, okay?
And don't be overly critical of people who,
maybe they don't go on a Sunday,
maybe they go on a different day.
We have family soul winning that we do on Tuesday
and that's when my family and I,
along with other families in our church,
we actually have a designated time
that we all go together.
You say, why?
You know, because it's just easier for us
to just get out the door on a day
that I'm not going to church counseling people,
preaching the word of God.
It's just simpler that way.
Yeah, but you know, you got,
you know, yeah, but you get to stay in your office
or whatever and all those comfy couches or something.
Yeah, yeah, I put my kids on couch,
yeah, as if all five of my kids sit on the couch
and just turn off a switch
and they just all go to sleep or something.
Yeah, that's how it works.
How did you know?
Folks, you know how hard it is to put five kids to sleep?
How many spankings we have to give?
You know what, God blessed my wife too.
And by the way, I don't want to hear anybody
criticizing what furniture I have in my office
or something.
Like, oh man, those comfy couches.
Yeah, I'm sure my family enjoys them
while I'm trying to prepare my sermon
and in fact, most of the time,
my wife has to sleep on the floor.
How about that?
Not because I'm forcing her to,
but because as my wife, she's putting the kids to bed
and so she's rocking the kids
and she's sitting on the floor
and sometimes she just knocks on the floor.
Oh yeah, real comfortable.
Now thankfully, you know, we're moving soon
so we don't have to do that.
I could just take them home
and they can actually go sleep, you know,
in a regular place.
You understand what I'm saying?
And so why don't you just worry about your own vineyard
and look, I'm not complaining,
have you heard me complain about it
over the last eight years?
I haven't complained, I'm thankful for whatever it is I have
and we just got those couches like,
I don't know, when we started this church,
for my family so they can actually sleep
and I can actually like prepare my sermon and focus
but you know what, even then,
you have three that don't,
two that are throwing a fit,
other two that just, you know, need Spanx
or throwing, you know, it's just how life is
but you know what, if you don't have kids,
I don't expect you to understand that though.
And sometimes it's just hard like that.
And so, you know, here's some advice,
why don't you just take care of your own vineyard?
And you know what, most fundamental Baptist churches,
they don't do what we do here.
They don't stay all day.
They don't have a pastor who leaves the door open,
people just can't hang out here,
they don't have quiet time,
that's non-existent in all high-p churches,
non-existent.
And so we offer that because people are committed
to come here and so, you know, that's what it is.
But you know what, if someone decides,
you know what, my kids are struggling right now
and we're gonna go home,
we're gonna go to a bite to eat or whatever
and I'm gonna go home,
you know what you need to do is just be like,
sounds good man, I hope to see you guys next week,
let me know if you guys need anything,
God bless you guys.
Because it's not a race to see who's the better Christian.
Just make sure that you go sowing
at least once a week though.
And you know what, you don't have to boast about it.
You know, you don't have to boast about it,
you don't have to talk about it, just do it.
Just take care of your vineyard.
I will see your vineyard.
You don't have to tell me you have one.
All right, last point.
Take care of your own vineyard.
Those who may have less,
don't be overly critical to those
who may be well-to-do or have more.
You know, don't be overly critical
of the possessions of others.
Like, oh man, how do they afford that?
How do they afford that car?
How do they afford that trip?
How do they afford that vehicle?
How do they afford that possession?
They probably have more money than you.
Case closed.
Or, you know what it might be?
None of your business!
How about that?
You don't know if someone just gifted someone
a large amount of money to do something
or to buy something or to go somewhere.
You don't know, just mind your own business.
Sometimes people just come from money.
You know, I had friends back in the day,
they were just rich people.
Like, where you got all this money?
Actually, I didn't even ask them.
I just enjoyed when they were being generous with me.
I don't care where they got it from.
But you know what?
Let people just have what they have in our church.
And I don't even think we have a church
that's very extravagant either.
I'm sure there's a couple nice cars out there, you know?
You say, well, do you not notice?
No, I don't notice, actually.
I don't know anyone's car except for Maury's
and the Kerry's.
And that's why, right?
Because they're both the same exact vehicle.
Both big red cars.
I know my car and that's it.
But you know what?
If someone pulls up in a nice ride or something like that,
you know, the thought shouldn't come into your mind,
hmm, I wonder how.
Where do they, hmm, what do they do to get that there?
That's like a covetous attitude.
It's like an envious, you're a hater.
We ain't got time for that hateration.
You've been drinking that haterade.
Don't be a hater!
Someone pulls up in a nice car and be like, dang!
You know, let me ride it or something, you know?
Don't be overly critical.
Don't be the person who's like,
I just don't understand how they,
well yeah, you probably won't understand
and you probably shouldn't ask around.
You probably just mind your own business.
And how about just praying in your heart,
Lord, thank you for giving that person,
allowing them to have that.
That's a very nice possession.
You know, we need to normalize just being happy
when people get nice things.
And actually be genuinely happy for people
if they get a, you know, whatever car,
you know, I don't know, what's a nice car now?
Tesla.
Not a Cybertruck.
Whoa, you got origami on wheels!
You know, it's just like.
If someone gets a nice vehicle,
they get a nice possession, rejoice with them.
It's none of your business.
Just mind your own business.
Take care of your own vineyard.
You know, but what did you do, though, to get that?
You know, I'll tell you what I did,
none of your business, that's what I did.
And you know what, you have my permission
to tell anybody that someone ever comes
to talk to you about that, just say, nunya.
I got it from nunya.
Nunya, yeah, nunya business.
Why are they able to buy that?
Why are they able to afford it?
Because they got money, you know?
And you don't.
Because you broke.
And I'm not making fun of you for being broke.
I'm broke, too, you know?
But I'm not gonna be overly critical
of people in our church who have a lot of money.
Praise God that God's blessed you with it.
You know, I'm happy for you.
I'm happy that you can purchase possessions
and do fun things or whatever.
That's the attitude that we should have
is we rejoice with them.
If you're smart, you'll be their closest friend.
Nah, I'm just kidding.
You know, at the end of the day,
you don't even know the whole story either.
You don't know if someone bought that for them.
You know if someone just gifted them something.
Maybe they have rich family members.
You don't know.
So why concern yourself with that vineyard
when it doesn't even belong to you anyways?
It's never gonna belong to you.
Just keep up with your own vineyard.
Be happy with what God has gifted you.
Here's the last verse.
Proverbs 27, verse 18 says,
whoso keepeth the fig tree
shall eat the fruit thereof,
so he that waiteth on his master shall be honored.
At the end of the day,
just view your vineyard as unto the Lord.
Whatever you have, your marriage, your children, your job,
whatever it is that you have, just be happy with it.
And you know what?
If you have low expectation in things of life,
you'll be so much more happier.
You say, why?
Because anything you get is like, whoa,
I didn't deserve that.
Anything you get is just like, awesome, this is great.
But when you're constantly having a high expectation,
you're constantly comparing,
you're never gonna be happy with what you have.
You know, look at your vineyard right now
and just say, this is better than anything else.
This is an awesome vineyard.
Lord, thank you for this vineyard that you've given to me
and I love it, help me to take care of it,
help me to cultivate it, help me to grow it,
help me to invest in my marriage,
help me to invest in my children,
help me to invest in the work of God,
help me to do this as unto you.
And God will honor you for that.
Let's pray.
Father, we thank you so much for your word.
Thank you for the wonderful vineyards
that you've provided us with.
And I think of just the vineyard of our church, Lord,
the people here.
I never wanna become overly critical
of our church members, Lord,
and compare them with other churches.
Lord, I love the people here
and I wouldn't trade this people for anyone,
any other church in the world.
It's wonderful what we have here, Lord.
It's wonderful what you're doing here.
I'm thankful for my wife and my marriage, my children,
and everything that you've blessed us with, Lord.
Help us to keep our eyes on that which you've provided
and rejoice in the vineyard that you've given, Lord.
We love you, we thank you,
pray these things in Jesus' name, amen.
Amen.
Turn to song number 192,
Ring the Bells of Heaven.