Good evening to now we're in 1 Peter chapter 4.
First Peter 4 the Bible reads, For as much then as Christ hath suffered for us in the
flesh, Arm yourselves likewise with the same mind, for he that hath suffered in the flesh
hath ceased from sin, that he no longer should live the rest of his time in the
flesh to the lusts of men, but to the will of God. For the time past of our life
may suffice us to have wrought the will of the Gentiles when we
walked in lasciviousness, lusts, excess of wine, revelings, banquettines, and
abominable idolatries, wherein they think it strange that she run not with
them to the same excess of riots speaking evil of you. Which I'll give
account to him that is ready to judge the quick and the dead, and for
this cause was the gospel preached also to them that are dead, that they might be
judged according to men in the flesh, but live according to God in the spirit.
But the end of all things is at hand, be therefore sober and watch under prayer,
and above all things have fervent charity among yourselves, for charity shall
cover the multitude of sins. Use hospitality one to another without
grudging, as every man hath received the gift even so minister the same one
to another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.
If any man speak, let him speak as the oracles of God. If any man minister, let
him do it as of the ability which God giveth, that God in all things may be
glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom be praise and dominion forever and ever,
amen. Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fire trial which is
to try you, as though some strange things happen unto you, but rejoice in
as much as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings, that when his
glory shall be revealed you may be glad also with exceeding joy. If you be
reproached for the name of Christ, happy are ye, for the spirit of glory and of
God resteth upon you, on their part he is evil spoken of, but on your part he is
glorified. Let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an
evil doer, or as a busy body and other men's matters, yet if any man suffer
as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God on this
behalf. For the time has come that judgment must begin at the house of
God, and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey
not the gospel of God? And if the righteous scarcely be saved, where shall
the ungodly and the sinner appear? Wherefore let them that suffer according
to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to him in
well-doing, as unto a faithful creator. Let's pray to the Lord God,
just thank you for this time we have Lord, to hear the preaching of
your word Lord, just please bless this service, every aspect of it
Lord, and please give him pastor boldness and fill him with the Holy
Spirit Lord as he preaches unto us your word and Lord just pray that we
are edified by these truths from your word that we apply them today
to our lives Lord, and we pray this all in Jesus' name. Amen.
Amen. Okay, we're in 1 Peter chapter 4, and tonight we're going
to continue the series on manners and etiquette. Manors and
etiquette. We started this series last week, and we talked about
manners and etiquette in church, and a lot of you like that
sermon apparently, or some of you do, like I don't know. But just
explaining how we should behave ourselves in the house of God,
just kind of tips and advice, counsel on how we as God's people
should behave ourselves in God's house. And for the sake of time,
I'm not going to review from last week, but if you have not
heard that sermon, I would encourage you to go listen to it
online, and don't do the things that I said not to do,
you know, in that sermon. Amen. But tonight we're going to
talk about manners and etiquette in the home. Okay. Now the
first thing, it's going to be broken up into three parts in this
sermon. The first part will be just how to have manners and
etiquette in your household amongst each other, amongst
family. The second part will be how to have manners and
etiquette as a host. And the third part will be how to
have manners and etiquette as a guest. Okay. And so this
is very important, and really if we were to just kind of
summarize what are we talking about from a biblical
perspective, we're talking about hospitality, right? And in
fact, look at 1 Peter chapter four and verse number eight, it
says above all things, have fervent charity among yourselves
for charity, excuse me, shall cover the multitude of sins.
Verse nine, use hospitality one to another without
grudging. So what does it mean to be hospitable? What
means that you are generous with others regarding your
house. You are very much welcoming people into your
household, whether that's feeding them, providing for their
needs, hosting them, being kind unto them. This is what
that's referring to. And it's in context of having fervent
charity. What is fervent charity? In other words, you
should have fervent or excited, passionate love for
people. And part of having passionate love for people is
that you're willing to bring them to your house. Okay.
This is what hospitality is. But it's not just a matter of
bringing them to your house. It's bringing them to your
house in order to favor them, to make them feel
comfortable to essentially mikasa sukasa type of
philosophy. For those of you who don't speak Spanish,
sorry. But here it says that we should do it. Listen
to this, without grudging. Now what does grudging
mean? Oh, man, I got people over at my house.
Yeah, as a Christian, yeah. That's what the Bible
is talking about here. Okay. According to the Bible,
we should, this should come, this should be a byproduct
of our love for people that were willing to have
people. Well, you know, my house is not really that
well, there's no stipulation of how big or how
small your house has to be. Hospitality can be
exercised no matter where you live, what you
have, no matter how big the house, how small
the house, regardless, you can always exercise
hospitality one toward another. And the Bible
says that you should do it without grudging, in other
words, without complaining. Okay. And so this is
a Christian virtue that the Bible consistently talks
about. Now you're in 1 Peter chapter 4, but go with
me if you would to Romans chapter 12, Romans chapter
12 if you would. Now when you think of hospitality,
probably the first thing that comes to mind are
the qualifications of a pastor. This is something
we see within the qualifications. Let me read to
you from 1 Timothy chapter 3 and verse number 2 says
a bishop then must be blameless, the husband of
one wife, vigilant, sober of good behavior. Listen to
this, given to hospitality, apt to teach. Now people
read that and say to themselves, well, I'm not
going to be a pastor, so I guess that doesn't
really apply to me. Well, what people fail to
realize is that these are stipulations that are
required in order to identify a potential
pastor. So this means that the person who wants
to be a pastor should at baseline be able to
fulfill these Christian virtues. Okay. So it's not
like, well, you know, I'm not going to be a pastor,
so I'm not going to be hospitable. Wrong. The Bible
is just simply saying if you're looking for a
pastor, you should look for a person who's already
given to hospitality. They like to be around
God's people. They like to have God's people
over. This is what that's referring to. Okay.
The Bible also says in Titus 1 7, for a
bishop must be blameless as the steward of God.
Now, what is a steward? A steward is a person
who is managing the property possessions of
another person. And the Bible says that we are
stewards of God, meaning that everything that
we have actually is not necessarily ours. It
belongs to God. The resources we have, the
home that we have, the vehicles that we have,
everything that we have actually belongs to
God. And we are just managers. We are stewards
of those things, which is why God has the
right to say, be hospitable with the things
that I've given to you. Use those things to be
a blessing to others. He says steward of God,
not self-willed, not soon angry, not given to
wine, no striker, not given to filthy
lucre, but a lover of hospitality. So,
1 Peter 4 says that we should do it without
grudging. And if we're to do it without
grudging, according to Titus 1 verse 8, it
says that we should be a lover of
hospitality. Now, what does that mean? It
means you're supposed to actually enjoy
having people over. Okay? Something that
you should strive for, something that
Christians should be characterized by,
someone who loves being around God's
people, serving God's people. This is
what the Bible is referring to. A lover of
hospitality, a lover of good men, sober,
just, holy, and temperate. Let me read
to you from Hebrews chapter 13 and
verse number one. It says, let brotherly
love continue, be not forgetful to
entertain strangers, for thereby some
have entertained angels unawares. So,
obviously, God not only expects us to be
hospitable with God's people, that's a
given, but we should be hospitable
towards just people in general. Okay? And
it even says here that, you know, there
are instances where we can entertain
people that are believers without us
even knowing it. And so that's
important for us to recognize. Look at
you're in Romans chapter 12 and verse
number 10. Have you turned to Romans?
Romans 12 verse 10. It says, be
kindly affectioned one to another with
brotherly love in honor, preferring
one another, not slothful in business,
fervent in spirit, serving the Lord,
rejoicing in hope, patience, and
tribulation, continuing instant in prayer,
distributing to the necessities of the
saints, given to hospitality. Again,
the idea here is that we're supposed
to be characterized as being hospitable
people, distributing to the necessities
of the saints. I'm going to read to
you from Luke chapter 14. Actually, go
to Luke chapter 14 if you would.
Luke chapter 14. As you turn there,
I'm going to read to you from Acts
chapter 16 and verse 30. I'm going to
read to you an example of hospitality.
It says in verse number 30, this is a
very familiar passage to us as soul
winners. It says, and brought them
out and said, Serves, what must I do
to be saved? And they said, believe
on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou
shall be saved in the night house.
And they spake unto him the word of
the Lord and to all that were in his
house. And he took them the same
hour of the night and washed their
stripes and was baptized, he and all
his straight way. And when he had
brought them into his house, he set
meat before them and rejoiced believing
in God with all his house. What a
wonderful story. This man gets saved.
He gets the gospel preached unto him.
He gets saved. His family gets saved.
Those in his household get saved. And
what's the first thing he does? He
offers hospitality. He becomes
hospitable towards the people who
want him to Christ by offering
him food, right? A meal to eat.
That is an example of hospitality.
Not only that, but we should be
hospitable. Listen to this, not
expecting anything in return. So
when the Bible says to have her
in charity, we do it because we
want to be a blessing to people,
not because we want something in
return. Not because we want them
to invite us to their house or
we want something from them. We
should do it out of a sense of
love and charity, not expecting
anything in return. Look at Luke
14 and verse 12. It says then
said he also to them that bade
him, when thou makeest the dinner
or supper, call not thy friends
nor thy brethren, neither that
kinsman nor thy rich neighbors,
lest they also bid thee again, and
it recompense be made thee. But
when thou makeest the feast, call
the poor, the maim, the lame, the
blind, and thou shalt be blessed
for they cannot recompense thee, for
thou shalt be recompensed at the
resurrection of the just. In other
words, we should seek to do good
in return. Out of a sense of love
and charity, because we want to be
hospitable, we want to be a
blessing to others. So the sermon
tonight is based upon this
principle of being hospitable one
with another. And before I get into
that, let me just encourage you. And
I don't think I'm crossing the line
here. I don't think I'm overstepping
my boundaries. I want to encourage
you to be a hospitable Christian
with your home. And I would never
encourage you to do something that I
can't do. Well, here's the thing. We're hospitable
when we lived in like a studio apartment.
I remember long
ago in Long Beach, we had a studio. It was like a one-bedroom
and everything
was in that room.
Kitchen,
bed, my son's
bed, an
Ikea couch, which
it was ideal because Ikea couch is just really
small. But we'd have people over
all the time. We'd have people over for
dinner or a little kitchen table, and
it wasn't like we're worried like, oh, I don't think I would have
enough space for us. It's just like
we just want to have you over because we love
you. And we wanted to, we want
an opportunity to be a blessing to you,
to a person in our church,
people that we're working with, family
members. We wanted to do that. And we've
done it in every single house that we've lived in
regardless of how big or how small it was.
And in fact, when we moved to Huntington
Beach, we hosted a Christmas
party there. I don't know how many people went there
or who from here went there, but
it was, the whole church was invited.
And
if you've been to that house in Huntington
Beach, you know that it's not conducive
to having people over, especially a church.
It was just like
a house party. It was just like
everyone was just kind of moving through.
People were in my garage,
they're in our rooms, they're everywhere.
But you know what? My wife
and I were happy to do that because
we just love having people over to our house,
plain and simple. And
now, obviously, God has blessed us with a
bigger home. And that's why we want
to throw this Christmas
party at our house on
Friday. And so
this is just something that I believe all Christians
should participate in. And sometimes
Christians can have the attitude of like, well,
I'm just kind of a private person.
Oh, okay,
be private with the things that God has given
to you to use for him.
Obviously what we have
belongs to God and we should be stewards
of those things. And of course, we can't
enforce that upon you. This should be
something that we grow into as Christians
and that we are a lover of hospitalities.
Now, obviously, if you're a single and you live
with your parents, you know, you don't have the
liberty to unnecessarily do it. You gotta ask for
permission, okay? I'm speaking to people who
actually, you know, are ruling their home
and they have their own home, etc.
All right, so let's get into it.
Manors and etiquette
in your
home. Let's talk about practicing
okay? So before I get into hosting
or being a guest in someone's house
let me start out by talking about
practical general courtesy amongst family
members. Now, actually before I get into
that, let me also say this. You know, people are
like, oh, you know, it's kind of a coincidental
there that you're preaching the sermon
you know, before Friday
maybe you're trying to tell something, you know.
But think about this though. And it is coincidence, by the way.
I didn't plan it this way.
I didn't. But think about this.
Would it be better for me to preach it before
or Friday?
Or on next Sunday after
you guys came to, you know, it's just
like, let me list all the things that you did on Friday
or something like that, okay?
And so obviously it would be more juicy on next Sunday
or whatever, but I'm not preaching this to be juicy.
It's to
exhort the brethren and teach people things. And obviously
I understand that sometimes people weren't taught
these things, okay?
They weren't taught some of these things and so
you're going to learn them tonight, okay?
So before we get into
this coming to our house or us being a guest
in someone's house, let's just talk about
practicing general courtesy
with yourselves and your family.
First and foremost, here's some practical advice.
I'm just going to, these are not in any particular order.
Number one,
ask, don't demand.
When you're at home
you should practice
the courtesy
of asking for things politely
and not demanding things. Now this is more so for
children. You know, you got to teach your children
to ask for things politely
and not demand. Give me that!
I want that!
Give me that! No, you say, may I please
have that, okay?
Can you please give that to me, okay?
That's just general courtesy.
And by the way, adults should practice
that too, okay?
This does not apply to parents
to a child in areas of discipline, by the way.
Please stop doing that.
No, that's not what I'm talking about, okay?
You know, when it comes to areas of discipline
for children, if they're disobeying, okay?
Practice
saying please in your household,
okay?
Even amongst you and your wife,
you and your husband,
there should be a sense of please and thank you,
politeness. Number two,
respect each other's property.
Ask before taking something,
okay?
Here's another thing, saying good night before
the night is over.
You know, there should be an environment in your home
where greeting each other in the morning,
you say good morning,
and then before you go to bed, and now you say good night.
It's not like you just ignore each other
and go your separate ways in your rooms
and lock yourselves into your rooms
and just the night is over.
There should be a sense of have a good night, I love you,
and let's pray together,
you know,
this is common courtesy.
Practice saying I love you
one to another.
And I think that's important to say because
some of us, myself included,
we didn't really grow up in a home
where that kind of word, those kind of phrases
were used, okay?
Maybe you didn't say I love you to your parents,
maybe your parents didn't tell you that they love you,
I don't know. You know, sometimes culturally,
that's sometimes a thing, you know?
And so, but as Christians, we should do that,
okay?
It's getting kind of quiet in here, man.
You guys never heard this.
Greet one another when people come home.
You know, when your siblings come home,
your parents come home,
you know, you should greet them by name.
Acknowledge that they're present, acknowledge that they're there.
They should not be ignored.
You know, when dad or mom walks through the door,
it shouldn't be like,
you just like,
it's just like, hi mom,
hi dad, oh,
hi mom, oh, hi dad,
okay?
You know, by the way, let me also say this,
moms should make a big deal about dad coming home.
In other words, when dad comes home,
from a hard day's work,
you know, and he comes through the door,
moms need to prep their children and say,
hey, dad's home, go greet him,
go give him a hug and a kiss, be excited that he's home,
okay?
Why? Because he's the boss,
okay? And he's the lord of the house,
and he is, he should be welcomed in that,
in that manner, okay?
Number five, say thank you for meals,
gifts, and treats.
Okay?
Teach your children to say thank you
for meals, gifts,
and treats.
Don't complain about the food you're given.
And obviously, I'm talking about kids
and teenagers.
Don't complain about the food that you're given.
Here's another
common courtesy in the home,
and that is, knock on the door
before entering a room.
That's important, okay?
Restrooms,
bedrooms, you know,
obviously not your own house
if you're going into your own house.
I'm saying different rooms you should knock,
especially if it's a place of privacy,
okay?
Now, this is a big one right here.
This is doctrine that I'm teaching you, okay?
Say excuse me if you need to interrupt
a conversation
or when you burp
or make other bodily noises.
You're like, really?
Wow, that's, okay.
That's interesting, I've never really done that before.
Say excuse me
if you need to interrupt
and we're talking about in your household,
and I know this is random,
but I got to teach you this stuff, okay?
Because you probably never taught this.
Say excuse me,
and by the way, burping
or other bodily noises
are things that shouldn't be done
in the presence of others.
We're talking about if you do it on accident.
So this is assuming it just happens,
okay?
I don't know what you're talking about here,
but this is important, okay?
Because it's rude.
It's rude to do bodily noises,
especially in front of the presence of a woman.
That's rude, okay?
Man, that's rude.
Okay?
I don't care.
I'm just trying to teach you common courtesy though.
Christian courtesy, okay?
And if it happens
and you burp or whatever
and other bodily noises happen,
apologize.
Say excuse me, I'm sorry about that,
and move on, okay?
Bless God, that's my kingdom.
I know as wherever I want.
Okay, all right.
I'm just teaching you to have common courtesy though, okay?
To be a respectable person,
and yeah, you are a king,
and a king operates himself with dignity.
Not sloppily, okay?
So say excuse me,
and say excuse me,
and you teach your children to say excuse me,
and I'm honestly trying to teach my kids.
Like when I'm talking to adults or another person,
they come up and they have a tendency to just break that conversation
and just like,
and it's just like say excuse me
or you need to wait until I'm done with this conversation.
Okay?
We're talking about manners and etiquette, all right?
Here's another one.
Chew with your mouth closed
and use napkins.
This is something I have to teach my kids
and I remember my mom having to teach me this
as a child.
You kind of want to just tell people,
is that good?
How's that taste?
Chew with your mouth closed.
Use napkins.
Don't use your sleeves.
Don't use your hands.
Don't use your shirt.
Don't use the table.
Don't use the carpet.
Don't use your pants.
Don't use your pockets.
Use a napkin.
Maybe some adults need to hear this too.
Okay?
Don't talk with your mouth full.
This is a rule that I have in my house.
Obviously, you can take this or leave it.
No yelling at the dinner table.
Okay?
The dinner table should be a place where we have a meal.
We can, I always have to tell my kids,
hey, I'm right here.
You don't got to yell, I'm right here.
Okay?
And by the way, let me say,
obviously there's a time and place for everything, right?
Not yelling at all at no time whatsoever
because when they're outside,
they can yell and play and do all that,
but there's a time and place for everything.
Teach your family, teach your children
that that's the case as well.
And by the way, teaching your kids
that there's a time and place for everything
helps them to realize that they shouldn't be like that
when they come to church.
They realize, well, church is not a place
where I just jump all over the place
and hop over the rows and destroy things.
This is church.
We're here.
Number nine, this is just talking about
amongst ourselves and our families and our homes.
Clean up after yourself, okay?
Clear your plates
and excuse yourself when done.
So when you're done eating,
you know, just like leave your stuff
or whatever. Now, here's the thing.
You know, growing up,
I had to clear my plate, growing up,
I had to throw away the trash,
but now my wife does it for me, okay?
Oh, I'm a chauvinist, whatever.
That's my role, okay?
But we teach our kids, you clear your plate,
clear the table, get rid of your stuff,
and any time I'm finished eating,
I always, 100% of the time,
unless something changes,
I get up and I say,
thank you so much for the meal, Sarah,
excuse me, and excuse myself from the table, okay?
I always do that.
We always pray before we eat.
We teach our children
to say please and thank you,
not to yell, and once we're done,
I always thank my wife for the meal,
and I say excuse me,
and then I excuse myself to another room
to go work or whatever.
Here's another one that doesn't necessarily have to do with that,
and this is the last one regarding
just general principles of courtesy in the home.
Apologize one to another for wrongdoing, okay?
That's a common courtesy, okay?
Especially amongst brothers and sisters,
they always offend each other,
but even with spouses,
apologize for wrongdoing,
practice those manners in that type of manner,
that's over with. Now, let's talk about
being a host, okay?
Manors in etiquette in the home
as a host. Now, what is a host?
You know, someone who essentially welcomes people
to their house for a specific event,
maybe it's for dinner,
sometimes it's for a birthday,
it's for a special event,
you are inviting people to come
to your house. Now, go to Matthew Chapter 25,
if you would, Matthew Chapter 25.
I'm going to give you some principles
in etiquette regarding
manners as a host, okay?
Now, you can write these down
as I go along, but it's a lot
and so I would encourage you to just go
listen to the sermon again,
but I do encourage you to take this serious,
though, okay? Because you're like,
you know what, I'm going to practice some hospitality,
but then you don't do some of this stuff,
it's not going to seem very hospitable,
okay? Look at Matthew 25
verse 42,
it says, then shall the king say unto them
on his right hand,
come ye blessed of my father,
inherit the kingdom prepared for you
from the foundation of the world,
for I was unhungered, and he gave me me,
I was thirsty, and he gave me drink,
I was a stranger, he took me in,
naked, and he clothed me,
I was sick, and he visited me,
I was in prison, and he came unto me,
then shall the righteous answer him,
saying, Lord, when saw we the
unhungered and fed thee,
or thirsty and gave thee drink,
or when saw we the sick or in prison,
and came unto thee, the king shall
answer and say unto them, verily I say
unto you, inasmuch as ye have done it
unto one of the least of these,
my brethren, I want you to notice this,
ye have done it unto me.
So when practicing
hospitality, you have to realize
the people you're bringing to your house,
you should serve them as
unto Christ, you're being hospitable
to them as unto the Lord,
because however you treat the people
that are coming to your house,
the Lord takes it as you're doing it to him.
Now, if you approach hospitality
with that in mind, we will do everything
with the spirit of excellence, or as best
as we possibly can, because we realize,
you know what, the Lord sees this as though
I'm serving him, I'm inviting him
to my home, I'm feeding him,
I'm entertaining him, that's how
he views it, okay?
Now, with that being said, let me go
through the list of grievance, I mean,
the list of things, I'm just kidding,
the good hosts have manners and etiquette
as a host, okay? And again,
this is if you're inviting someone over
for dinner, a birthday party,
things of that nature. Number one,
as a host, adequately
prepare for guests, okay?
What do I mean by that?
Have a clean home.
Ladies, clean your house.
Clean your home.
Clean the red, deep cleaning too.
Anytime we have guests
at our house, I mean, it is
a nightmare
for my wife, because she just spends like two weeks
just like preparing for that, just cleaning
every nook and cranny, everything here
just has to be perfect, but you know, I'm thankful
for it, because that is an appropriate thing to do,
you know, we are having guests
over, we want our household
to be adequately
prepared for everyone who's coming, so clean
your house, clean your restrooms,
okay? If you're having guests over,
clean your restrooms and
the garbage can, have adequate
toilet paper
and towels available
for your guests that come, light a candle
in the restroom
for when people come, you say why?
Okay?
So this is a great way to
adequately prepare for them, clean your house,
clean the restrooms,
have adequate paper products,
have candles lit.
Hey, make it smell nice.
Make your household smell nice.
You want a pleasant smell
when people come to your home. This is great.
I love this stuff, okay?
Have adequate seating.
Have enough food.
Here's a good one.
Anticipate the needs of your
guests, okay?
What do you mean by that?
Well, you know, when guests come over to your house
you should ask yourself, do they like coffee?
Okay?
You know, get coffee for them. You're like,
do they like coffee, but do your guests
drink coffee though?
You know, as someone who's exercising
hospitality, you're not bringing them over
to your house to please yourself
so that you can have a good time.
You're actually bringing them over to your house
to serve them.
That's what hospitality is about.
You're serving the people who are coming
to your house. Now, for example,
if you are having coffee,
ask yourself, do they use creamer?
Now, I do not drink creamer.
I think creamer is lame.
I drink my coffee black.
I like my coffee like the King James
version of the Bible.
No commentary whatsoever.
But I know there are some people that are weak
in the faith.
When I have guests over,
my wife, she buys all the creamers
for people because she knows that people like creamer.
And I'm just not like, hey,
we don't do creamer here, so sorry.
We drink water only.
Okay?
Yeah, I don't do soda here.
We do flavored water.
Whatever weird thing.
We don't do anything with red dye here
or whatever.
Then who are you preparing for yourself
or the people you're having over?
You should adequately prepare.
Think to yourself, do they drink coffee?
Do they use creamer?
Hey, what is their favorite drink?
Lots a little too much.
It's kind of like going to a second mile.
It's kind of like what it is.
It's the environment that they enjoy.
You're having people over.
They're like, you know what?
I know they like Coke Zero.
Or they like root beer.
They like A&W.
And by the way, we're talking about sodas
and stuff like no beer or whatever.
If they like alcohol, you shouldn't be fellowship with them
in the first place.
Hey, how about this?
I'm not saying you have to take it to this extent.
But as best as you possibly can,
how about just dietary restrictions?
We have people at our house that are on a specific diet.
Maybe they're on keto or carnivore.
And we will, you know,
designate the menu in such a way
that we kind of like are helping them with that.
You know, if someone's on keto,
I'm not trying to bring out cheesecake.
We're like, well, this is what we got.
So eat what is before the asking questions
for nothing for conscience's sake.
For me, it's just like, well, if that's what they do,
let's try to get something that they would enjoy having
so they can have a good time here
and not see us eat all the delicious food
because this is a little much.
I'm just kind of trying to help you here.
This is a way you can be hospitable to people
and this is a way that people when they leave your house
are like, man, I really enjoyed being at that house.
They're very caring.
They're thoughtful.
Anticipate the needs of your guests.
Okay?
Here's another thing that I think will help us
as hosts
and that is have music playing
in your household.
Now, let me explain why that is.
Whenever you go into a room
filled with people
and there's no music, let me just say this,
it's very awkward.
I don't know why it is.
Even when you come to church, if you ever come to church
and that's why I always have music playing
before the service is,
but if there's no music, it's almost awkward.
You can hear everyone's conversation
and it just feels awkward.
But when there's music, there's something
about the music playing that kind of creates
an environment conducive to fellowship
and globalization.
And that's the same thing in your home.
When you go, when someone comes to your home
and I'm not talking about like, have like, you know,
Bonda playing or something like that
or some DJ or, you know,
I'm talking about obviously Christian music.
All right?
No CCM or something like that.
Tupac or whatever it is that you listen to.
Have pleasant music playing,
hymns playing in the background.
Not loudly, but just enough
that people, it creates a nice environment.
Number three,
express,
listen to this, express your,
as a host, express your
expectations ahead of time.
Okay?
What time does it start?
What time does it end?
Okay?
You need to express that to your guests
before they come
to your house.
Okay? Everyone's looking at me like,
this is not life changing.
You host someone, you'll realize
how important this is, right?
Do you want people to bring something?
Okay?
Express, start time, end time.
Do you want people to bring something?
Express whether they can bring a guest
or not.
Okay? Now this is really big
in Mexican culture.
And what I mean by big,
I mean like, they have a tendency
to bring a ton of people that
they didn't say that they were going to bring.
You know, that's just how they do it.
It's super rude, actually.
Whereas just like, you invite someone over
and they will literally bring their entire family
with them. You know, I'm talking about extended family.
Or friends and family
that they're just bringing, you're just not adequately prepared
for that. But if you don't want
them to bring, just say, you know,
I invite you and your immediate family
to come. Okay?
Or if you say, you know, hey,
we invite you and bring a guest
with you, you need to communicate
with them so that you're not offended,
they're not offended, etc.
Okay?
The next thing, regarding expressing your expectations
ahead of time, is guide
and direct the schedule.
When people come to your house, they're just there,
you're a guest. So it's important for you
to kind of have an itinerary
of what's going to happen. Okay?
That way it's not just kind of like flippantly,
you're just kind of going through the motions.
You don't really know what's happening.
You need to help guide and direct the schedule there.
Here's the next thing, when being a host,
greet people
with a warm welcome.
In other words,
someone knocks on the door, you know, just up in the door
and be like, oh, hey, what's up?
Yeah, I mean, just figure, I'm just coming in, I guess.
Yeah, just, you know, it should be
hey, how's it going?
Glad you guys are here.
Have a smile on your face, a warm welcome.
Thank them for coming.
Okay?
Here's a big one, please pay attention to this one.
If it's a birthday,
okay, very important,
if it's a birthday,
teach the
birthday child to thank or the
birthday person to thank the people who came
and to be grateful for what they brought
if they bring a present, okay?
In other words, you know,
someone comes to you,
someone comes to your child's
birthday or your birthday, you need to teach
your child, hey, make sure you go out of your way
to go thank that person for bringing themselves
and their family and a present over as well, okay?
Once they come into the door,
here's a couple things you can offer them,
okay?
Offer them a seat,
offer them a drink,
show them where the restrooms are,
give them a general itinerary
of the events of the
evening, inquire
about their drive, okay?
Ask if they need anything.
And here's a big thing, if you have
children, get your children
involved in the hosting process as well.
Teach your children, hey,
when they come, make sure you ask them if they need
water, if they want a soda,
if they need anything,
this is important, okay?
Offering water, drinks,
offer them to play with their kids,
the kids to play with their kids,
have your children offer them their toys.
Hey, do you want to play with my toys?
You want to go see what I got?
I got some toys you can play with.
We're there to be a blessing to the people, okay?
Here's the next thing.
Very important here, and I mostly
here talking to individuals who are
hosts who may not have kids,
and that is accommodate and be kind
to families with children, okay?
If you're inviting someone over
who has children,
you need to be kind to them
for giving and patient
and try your best to accommodate them,
because let me just say this,
it's not easy having a lot of kids
bringing them to a household,
it can be a little
flustering, okay?
If you have families over
with children,
make sure you communicate
realistic boundaries.
Let me give you an example.
People come over to your house,
you have two stories,
you say, yeah, no one's going upstairs,
we're just going to keep it down here,
make sure you communicate that, okay?
Or you can create boundaries
that don't need to be communicated.
What do you mean by that?
If you don't want people going through your house,
lock the doors,
right?
You understand what I'm saying?
Because sometimes parents just,
and here's, we'll get into this other part later.
Sometimes people just don't watch their kids,
okay, and they just get into everything.
Well, what you need to do,
what I need to do,
is lock your bedroom door,
if you don't want people going in your bedroom door,
lock whatever extra rooms, okay?
Lock cabinets if you have to,
lock whatever is necessary to lock
so they don't get into those things, okay?
You say, well, they should watch their kids.
It's true.
But as a host, we're not going to tell them that now,
are we, okay?
So we want to accommodate them
and not expect for them to just be angels the entire time.
So sometimes you have to lock things.
But it's also necessary to just communicate to them,
like, yeah, we're going to stay up,
stay away from these rooms here,
no one going into those rooms, whatever.
Express that.
You don't have to child-proof your entire house.
But be mindful of putting away valuables
that can potentially be destroyed, okay?
So you got to think about this stuff ahead of time.
Like, if you know you're inviting someone who has a bunch of kids
and maybe they're a little rowdy,
then you're like, hun, go put the valuables away, you know?
Put the $1,000 vase away or, you know,
now's not the time to pull out the chinaware.
Let's put those things away.
Paper plates tonight and plastic cups, okay?
Be mindful of that.
And if something breaks, then it breaks.
Don't shame them for that.
It's just like, I can't believe you did that, you know?
It's just like, that's all right.
It's just a valuable piece of possession
that cost me $5,000.
Just be like, no, that's all right.
Don't worry about it. We'll pick it up.
Don't worry about it.
Because at the end of the day,
it's our fault for not putting those things away
knowing full well that people are going to be in our household
and so things like that can happen.
Let moms know ahead of time
rooms they can use to nurse their children
and change diapers, okay?
Meaning that also,
this is, I'm getting ahead of myself,
but guests, don't just change your children's diaper
just anywhere, okay?
You know, at the dinner time,
I was like, yeah, that was a rough day.
You know, I was just like, whoa, you know.
I know you're real natural, okay?
But that's a little too natural, okay?
It's just like you're just changing the diaper,
like on the floor somewhere, you know,
I don't want to get into that yet because I will.
You should ask ahead of time.
If the host does not communicate this,
ask the host like, hey, is there a place
that I can change my children's diapers or whatever?
But, you know, we're talking to the host here.
Let them know ahead of time where they can
nurse their children or change diapers, okay?
Here's the next thing.
We're talking about accommodating
and being kind to families with children.
Be flexible.
Don't expect little children to be perfect, okay?
Don't embarrass your guests if they do something off-putting.
Be gracious and allow yourself to be defrauded, okay?
If they do something that's off-putting,
if they destroy your property,
if they do something that's just really annoying,
well, just take the loss, okay?
And have charity.
Just be kind to them and gracious.
Don't embarrass them.
But here's a good thing to do.
If you're a host and you know the children are coming over,
we're not talking about birthday parties per se,
but just say, let's just say you're inviting a family
over for dinner, okay?
Have games or fun activities for the children.
So, there's just already something planned
for the children to do when they come to your house, okay?
Maybe like a certain segment of the house,
a corner of the house where all the children
could be involved in.
Maybe you have things for them to destroy already.
Okay, you can put there, you know,
whatever you gotta do, just, you know,
plan for it ahead of time.
Here's a big thing when it comes to hosting your people
is that really what you're doing
is that you're thinking of their comfort, okay?
And just think about it.
Think to yourself like, if I was a guest in this house,
what would be a thing that I would really appreciate
them doing, them going out of their way to do?
And that's really what hospitality is.
It's essentially taking, preferring them over yourself.
Utilizing your possessions, your resources, your house
to make them feel welcome, loved, cared for.
Think of their comfort, okay?
Give them the best seat in the house.
Give them, you know, the A-list treatment, so to speak.
That's what it means to be hospitable.
Now, obviously, this can be taken to an extreme.
We can't cater to everyone's whim
when they come to our house, right?
And there's a story that I'm just thinking of
someone in our church who they've told
other people about this as well.
And it was about a family that they went to
this family's house, and this family has children.
You know what I mean?
And so they have children, but then they went to
a family's house that didn't have children, okay?
Nothing wrong with that.
But the husband, and they don't come to our church anymore,
the husband put like a square towel or a blanket
or something and said the kids have to sit
in this square the entire time for like hours on end.
That's super unrealistic and it's stupid, okay?
It's just like right here, they can't move,
they can't touch anything.
I mean, that's ridiculous.
You know, if I was the parents, I'd have been like,
all right, cool.
Well, hey, thanks for having me over.
Appreciate it.
We're going to head out because that's just
an unrealistic expectation to have, okay?
It's not right to do.
You can't expect children to sit in a square
for four hours straight and just not do anything at all.
It's crazy, okay?
Being hospitable means you're
preferring your guest over yourself,
over your own comfort, and so on, okay?
Here's the thing that you can do as a host
when people come over to your house.
Talk to them and welcome them into conversations, okay?
Now, if you are an introvert, too bad.
If you're the host, you got to do some talking, okay?
You got to kind of go out of your way to talk to people.
Hey, how's it going?
Thanks for coming.
How was the drive?
What did you do this week?
Because you're the host, okay?
I'm not saying you have to be
like a major social butterfly,
but people are coming to your house.
This is your turf, okay?
So welcome people into the conversations
and, you know, as an introvert,
maybe you don't know how to spark
up a whole lot of conversations.
Maybe you need to take the extreme route
and come up with a list of subjects to talk about
so as to keep the conversation going, okay?
Now, I don't have that issue.
I could probably just talk for hours and hours and hours
and introverts can just listen to me the entire time,
but I'm just saying, introverts in general,
if you're having people over at your house,
you need to adequately prepare for conversations
and welcome people into those conversations as well.
Because if not, it's just awkward.
People just sit in their couch,
they're not talking to anybody.
They're just kind of there.
They're just like, you know,
no one's talking to one another.
I mean, it's rude, okay?
As the host, listen to this, it's very important.
As a host or a guest,
but we're talking to hosts here,
don't be on your phone when you have people over.
You know, you're just like checking Instagram
or something like that, okay?
You're checking the Instagram
of the person who came to your house.
You're checking the stories of the person who's at it.
That's rude.
Put your phone away.
Put it on airplane mode.
Put it away.
Your primary focus should be the guests
that are coming to your house, okay?
And here's the last point regarding the host
and that is, know your home doesn't have to be
perfect or sizable, just warm and welcoming, okay?
So don't worry about what people are going to think
about your house.
You're like, oh man, I think people are going
to have this, you know, idea about my house.
They're going to criticize my house.
Who cares what they think?
The important thing is, is they're coming
to your home, not necessarily your house.
The home is the people and what the people
make the environment to be, okay?
Don't be ashamed of your house.
Don't be ashamed of your home.
It's what God gave you.
It's what God provided for you.
And you know what?
People appreciate sincerity as well, okay?
If they see that you have a quote unquote small house
and you're willing to open it up for other people to come,
people love that.
People appreciate that and they will very much
appreciate you for it.
Go to Luke chapter 14 if you would, Luke chapter 14.
So with that being said, be a hospitable person.
I want to encourage you, have people over to your house
if you have the liberty to do so.
From our church, you know, there's nothing wrong
with going to maybe someone on your team,
leaders or anybody and just say,
hey, I'd like to have you over for dinner one day.
Are you guys free?
And you know what?
If ladies, if you're like, man, I clean my house
but I need to do a deep cleaning though.
Having people over to your house is the best way to do it.
It's the best when you know, when women know
that people are coming over they're like,
oh man, deep cleaning time, okay?
So husbands, I'm gonna let you know a little secret.
If you want your wife to do deep cleaning,
just invite someone over and say,
hey, we got the so-and-so's coming over on Friday
and they're just like, ah.
And they'll stay up till two o'clock in the morning cleaning
and scrubbing floors, it's great.
And then Friday comes around and they're like,
oh, I was just kidding, I just needed you to clean.
I'm just kidding.
They canceled.
No, I'm just kidding.
But you know, it's a blessing, okay?
And it's very fulfilling to have people over your house.
It's very fulfilling to be a blessing to people.
Try it out.
It's a great practice, okay?
All right, now let's talk about the guest.
Manners and etiquette in the home.
How should you behave yourself if you are a guest
in someone's house, okay?
Well, let's look at Luke 14 and verse 7 first and foremost.
It says,
And he put forth a parable to those which were bidden.
When he marked how they chose out the chief room,
saying unto them,
When thou are bidden of any man to a wedding,
sitting on down in the highest room,
lest the more honorable man than thou be bidden of him.
And he that bade thee and him come,
excuse me, and he that bade thee and him come and say to thee,
Give this man place,
and thou begin with shame to take the lowest room.
But when thou are bidden, go and sit down in the lowest room,
that when he that bade thee cometh,
he may say unto thee, Friend, go up higher.
Then shalt thou have worship in the presence of them
that sit at me with thee.
Whosoever shall exalt themself shall be abased,
and he that humbled themself shall be exalted.
What is the principle here?
You know, when you go to someone's house,
you are not the VIP.
Now, in the eyes of the host, you might be the VIP.
But you should go to someone's house
with a humble attitude,
not with a spirit of expectation, okay?
Be appreciative of whatever it is that your host does for you.
Don't take the best seed.
Don't take the best food.
Just take whatever is offered before you
and appreciate what they do.
Now, let's give some tips here.
If you are a guest in someone's house,
number one, be on time, okay?
Be, the white man was the only one who said that.
Be on time.
Not too early.
Your host may not be ready.
Not too late.
You may disrupt the schedule of events, okay?
Please pay attention to this.
Let me repeat it again.
Be on time.
Not too early.
Your host may not be ready, okay?
And that is a nightmare for someone who's hosting something.
It's just like, you're an hour early.
You know, we're still like getting ready here.
Too late.
You may disrupt the schedule of events.
Communicate if something comes up and you're running late.
So people aren't wondering if you're still coming or worried about you, okay?
And get this out of your vocabulary.
I'll be there around, fill in the blank time, okay?
Because a round can mean any time, right?
You should say or you should just be there
whenever they ask you to be there, okay?
And so if you're running late, something's happening.
You know, you're not able to make it.
Make sure you communicate to your host because they're expecting you, okay?
Very important.
Amen?
Respect your host wishes.
Whether they ask you to bring a gift.
Maybe it's a birthday party.
Or they tell you don't bring a gift.
Whatever it is that they ask of you, do it.
If there's a specific attire that you should be wearing,
respect those wishes and participate.
Don't be the party pooper, you know?
They're like, well, I don't have any 1800s attire.
Go find some.
Been doing it for years.
Go get a handkerchief or something.
Go get some boots, get dirty or some girl beard or something.
Don't be the oddball out coming here
or going to a specific event
and not participating with everyone else.
Be a team player, okay?
Well, I'm just not really into those things.
Then get into it.
You're being rude by not participating
in whatever the host asks you to do.
Amen?
Well, I just, I don't have an excuse.
Exactly, okay?
And so respect your host wishes.
Don't feel like you're the exception to the rule.
All right, now let's talk about some practical things here,
aside from being on time respecting the host wishes.
When you come to your host house, okay?
Don't just barge into the door.
Oh, it's a party. It's a birthday party.
We can just go walk. No.
Knock on the door.
Ring the doorbell. That's not your house.
Knock on the door and wait to be welcomed in.
Oh, they took a while, so I just walked in.
Call them. That's not your house.
That's not an appropriate thing to do.
And let me say this.
Don't allow your children to just run in the house either.
When we come to someone's house,
we should go there as a family, okay?
Not the kids just running in and just going through the door,
opening the door and just running in and running them up.
Very rude, very inappropriate.
We're a guest in someone's house.
That is not our home, okay?
And so teach your children.
We don't just barge into people's homes.
That's not your house.
We don't just jump on their couches.
We don't just mess with their stuff.
We're guests in this house.
We need to act and behave ourselves accordingly, okay?
Your children should stay with you
until invited to play or participate in other activities, okay?
So when you come with your children to, let's say, you know,
an event, have them stay with you
until the host kids or someone else they come and say,
hey, we're playing outside. Why don't you come with us?
And then let them go.
Don't just like, well, you know, I'm really close to this family, though.
So their cost is my cost, though.
We're just kind of used to behaving this way inappropriate, though, okay?
And if you allow your children to behave that way in that house,
they're going to behave that way all across the board in anybody's house.
Getting kind of quiet in here.
Teach your children to greet the host and thank them for inviting them, okay?
And look, you know, kids shouldn't just be barging in,
but if the host is right there and just bypass the host or something.
They should walk up and say, thank you so much for having us.
We're grateful to be here.
Show them how to be polite, okay?
As a guest, respect personal spaces, bedrooms, cabinets, refrigerator.
I'm serious.
This is the thing.
I've had the neighborhood kids just kind of barge through my door
and just go in my refrigerator.
And I'm just like, and then he's like running out and I'm just there.
I'm like, what are you doing here?
And he's just like, oh, I'm just getting the water.
I'm like, oh, okay.
And then I tell my wife, like, don't let these kids just walk in here.
Like, we want to be hospitable, obviously.
But people shouldn't just expect that, though.
It's wrong.
It's rude.
It's inappropriate.
It's a lack of character and etiquette, okay?
And so don't allow your children to just barge in and go through the refrigerator
and go through the food.
Teach your children how to be guest in someone's house, okay?
I don't know if it's quiet in here because you're bored with the sermon
or because you do this stuff.
But in either case, you're going to hear it no matter what, okay?
Teach your kids not to go in there.
And by the way, the point that I made last week, okay?
If your kids do these things, don't laugh it off either.
Oh, they just do stuff like that.
Well, that's not cool, you know?
They just violate people's stuff.
They just go through people's stuff.
They just break people's stuff.
That shows bad parenting, okay?
As a guest, if you need something, ask, okay?
And be complimentary.
When you go to someone's home, compliment them on their home,
compliment them on the meal.
Say this, don't complain.
Don't be a murmur or a complainer.
And I'm going to say this.
If anybody ever complains or murmurs in my home,
I will never invite you back.
Now, the reason I say this is because no one's ever complained
or murmured in my home.
But I'm just, you know, this is just, you know,
and let me give you an illustration of this, okay?
Now, this was not at my house.
This is at Brother Lemon's house.
At Brother Lemon's house for a particular,
I don't remember what it was, some event or some birthday.
And it was when Brother Mori had a dog, okay?
You guys remember when he had that dog?
Does he still have that dog?
Didn't we know?
He doesn't have that dog.
He had a dog and dogs live outside.
He lived in his backyard.
That's where dogs deserve to be, right?
That's where he was.
Well, the party was kind of like it was outside too.
And there is a particular church member
that no longer goes to our church,
who was also used in a previous illustration last week.
It was the same person who stacks his plate
all the way to the ceiling
and just is completely inconsiderate of everyone else, okay?
Well, he was there.
And you know what?
Let me just be honest with you.
I'm not a big fan of dogs.
I don't really like dogs.
I'm not a big fan of cats either.
So don't say amen too quickly.
I just don't like animals, period.
I just be, you know, I just...
I like a goldfish because it just kind of does this thing
and dies after a while.
You know, it's just a good animal to have.
But I'm not really a big fan of animals,
dogs or cats.
But here's the thing.
I'm a big fan of the dogs or the animals
or the cats that my church members have
because they like those animals
and so therefore I like them too, okay?
I like Brother Height's cat for various reasons.
Patches is a cool cat.
I wouldn't have a cat personally
but I like his cat
and I like the fact that he likes his cat.
And I'm not going to go to Height's house
and just start like messing with him
and saying, hey, get off the seat, man.
You know, just like mistreating the animal
or something like that.
It'll be very inappropriate to do.
So we're outside
and you know the dog walks by
and he basically jumps on the seating
where this person was at
and this person begins to just curse in French
or not French and Russian or Armenian
or whatever it is.
But just publicly showing his distaste
for the fact that the dog sat there
and he's just murmuring and complaining about it.
Just, and I was embarrassed.
I don't even live there.
That's my church member.
I was visibly embarrassed.
I'm like, that is the rudest thing to do.
This is not your house.
It'd be different if it was like, you know,
maybe that was his house
and more he brought his dog or something to the house.
At that point, you kind of have a right to be like,
okay, get off the couch.
Hey, can you come get your dog?
That's not your house, though.
He's like, hot chocolate dog.
Whatever.
Some random Armenian phrase or something
about the Cold War.
I don't know what he's talking about.
But he wanted everyone to know
that he was very upset over the fact
that the dog came outside
where he lives because his owner
chose for him to live there.
You know, the dog had more of a right to be there
than he did.
That's a rude thing to do
because he's a guest in that house
and I don't care what cultural,
what culture you come from.
I don't care what you're raised with.
Fix that.
That's rude.
That's why people don't want you around
because you're just a rude person.
And again, I'm not saying you have to be
a dog lover, either.
I don't like dogs.
I don't like animals in general.
But you know what, when I go to someone's house
and they have those animals, I'm not just like,
gross.
You know, just like,
hold on a second.
And just like, kick the cat,
kick the dog or something.
You understand?
Again, I'm not a big fan.
I'm just saying,
I'm going to treat the animals who live in that house
well, okay?
You say, well, what if like
the dogs are just really aggressive?
Then don't go near it.
Brother Chevy had a scary dog one time.
Right?
He had a Rottweiler and that thing was terrifying.
And you know, Brother Chevy, he's like,
he's nice.
And I'm like, I'll just
watch him from like over here though.
But I'm not going to be like,
ugh.
I'm just like, cool.
I'm just going to look at him from over here.
Because I'm a guest in this house.
Don't be a person.
That's an extreme example.
But it's a true story though.
It actually happened.
And with no shame whatsoever.
So is it in any coincidence that the same person
who stacks his pizzas all the way high
is also being disrespectful and complaining
in someone's house when they're a guest?
That's showing someone who's not charitable.
So be complimenting.
And you say, well, I don't like dogs.
And you just say, hey, that's a nice animal
you got here.
You're happy with this animal.
That's great.
And look, let's say for example,
you go to a house.
You go to Brother Heik's house and you just don't like cats.
You hate cats.
You don't want the worm.
You've heard all the stories.
You just despise cats.
You hate them.
You treat all against cats.
This is what you do.
The cat comes and he sits right next to you.
This is what you do.
You get up and go somewhere else.
You get up and you're like, oh, hey, that's nice of you.
And then you just move.
You don't have to be like vocal
about the fact that you hate the cat or something.
It's a very selfish, rude thing to do.
You're not a well-mannered person.
You need to learn some etiquette.
And in fact, it's just not Christian at all.
And so respect personal spaces.
Number five.
Participate in the schedule the host has.
Games, songs, dinner, et cetera.
And on Friday, we're going to be singing.
We have a piano.
We're going to be singing some hymns.
We're going to be playing some games.
Participate.
Offer help and be a servant in any way possible.
But I will say this.
Sometimes when you go to a house,
you're going to be a servant in any way possible.
But I will say this.
Sometimes when you go to a host,
someone invites you over to their house.
You might ask someone, can I help?
They might say no.
So the best thing to do is actually be a guest
who understands social cues.
You understand there's a need that needs to be met.
You can help out in that area.
And sometimes you just need to take the initiative
to help in that area.
Here's another thing.
Don't come empty-handed.
Ask if you could bring something.
If your host says no,
bring a candle or anything.
Just a little small gift.
This is actually something that the previous generation
used to practice all the time.
Any time they were invited to a home,
they would bring a small little plan
if they were asked not to bring anything
or a little candle just as a courtesy.
Here's another thing.
Greet the guest of honor.
This is important.
Let's talk about a birthday, for example.
When you go to a birthday,
children go greet the birthday person.
Adults go first, greet the person
whose birthday it is.
Now, why do I say that?
I remember growing up
and I come from a Hispanic home
and Hispanics
often use birthdays
as an excuse to party.
They don't care whose birthday it is.
Right?
How do you know that?
True story, right?
I literally remember having birthdays
and just scores of people coming to my birthday
and then even know it was my birthday.
And then one time, if someone came
and I'm like, you got a present for me,
they're like, oh, I didn't know it was your birthday.
Oh, happy birthday.
Then they walk in and go party or something.
That's a super rude thing to do.
Be a person who goes to the guest of honor,
whether it's a graduation,
it's a birthday party.
Teach your children when they get there,
go play, go say happy birthday,
go say congratulations.
We're going there to honor the guest.
Here's the next one.
Don't overindulge.
Be moderate
and understand
and know social cues.
Let me explain what I mean by that
when I talk about overindulging.
You go to a place
and the food is just bomb.
Everything is just delicious
and you want seconds.
Here's the social cue you should be looking for first.
Did everyone else already eat?
Has everyone else already gotten a plate?
If so,
go to the host
and say, may I get some more?
Yeah, go for it.
Once you get your seconds,
before you get your thirds,
understand the social cue
that everyone else already gets seconds.
In other words,
you have to kind of pay attention to your surroundings.
All right?
Understand social cues.
I'm almost done, all right?
Go to Proverbs chapter 25.
Number 10, compliment the host
for a great meal, great time,
opening their home, et cetera.
Number 11, keep an eye
on your children.
Don't let them run through the house,
get into things, overindulge,
waste food,
make an unreasonable mess,
leave drinks everywhere,
ask the host
where they are welcome to play
and socialize.
So when you get there and say,
is there a place where the kids are playing
and typically there is,
just ask for that area
so that you can direct them that way.
Number 12,
clean up after yourself,
okay?
If you're at someone's house
and you have a plate
and you've eaten, you've overindulged,
okay?
Make sure you throw your stuff away, all right?
You take your napkins,
your cups or whatever
and say, where's the trash can?
Where can I put this?
And here's the thing, if you want to be a little extra of a blessing,
a really good guest,
you throw away the trash and say,
can I throw this out for you?
You take the bag and say, where's the dumpster?
Where's the trash can so I can throw this out?
That's a big blessing, okay?
You're going the second mile there.
All right, here's the last part, all right?
So you guys won't be mad at me anymore
and who knows who will come on Friday.
By the way, this is not the things you have to do
at my house. I'm not going to be like,
you know, I'm not like paying attention to this stuff
because here's the thing, when it comes to a host,
okay, and I believe this firmly,
like I have these things
but once we have like an event,
this stuff goes out the window in my mind.
I'm not like waiting for you to do these things,
okay?
I'm not like, why are you laughing for the hike?
Because he does wait for them to do it.
You know, I'm not like, you know,
I don't have a check box to see if you're doing these things
because I don't want people to feel uncomfortable in my house
like they have to do.
I'm laying this out for just any event period, okay?
When you're in my house,
my casa, su casa,
but don't worry, I'm locking the doors though.
All right, here's the last one, very important.
Don't overstay your welcome.
Unless the host makes it abundantly clear
to stay longer, okay?
Abundantly clear.
Because see, here's the thing, a host doesn't want to be rude.
So you know a host will often say,
you guys can stay as long as you want
because they don't want to be rude.
But let me just tell you this,
if they're saying that, wait for this phrase.
Yeah, I'm getting tired.
Or something to that effect, that means like,
okay, it's time to go, okay?
And it's important for you to just follow the social cues, okay?
If you see that people are leaving, trickling out,
it's 10 o'clock, 11 o'clock, you know,
and you're like the last one left, you know?
And you know, the family has gone to bed,
and get out.
Get out!
Okay?
And so, you know, if you want to be invited back
to people's homes, don't overstay your welcome, you know?
And obviously, it's important for the host to communicate
what time it starts, what time it ends.
But here's the thing, obviously those instances
where the host may designate a specific time,
but then the part is just so good.
The fellowship is just so awesome
that we just lose track of time, right?
And it's just like, oh wow, it's pretty late or whatever.
But once you start seeing like the main people,
like the host family start trickling upstairs,
they're going to bed, they're getting ready.
Okay, now it's time to kind of wrap it up, okay?
And so, look what it says in Proverbs 25 or 17.
Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbor's house.
Lest he be weary of thee, and so hate thee.
You know what that means?
Get out!
Stop being a nuisance.
It's just like, it's time for you to go.
It's just like, people are already tired of you, okay?
Don't be that person.
Be a hospitable host, but also be a hospitable guest as well, okay?
And so that is it.
I'll see you guys on Friday.
I'm just kidding.
Let's pray.
Father, we thank you so much for your word, Lord.
Thank you for the principles thereof.
Help us as your people to love hospitality.
Help us to be given to hospitality, Lord,
and to enjoy what sincerity,
having people over to our homes, buying the meals,
just favoring them, Lord.
And, Lord, I pray that you'd help us to do so.
Maybe there's people here who they're just not used to that.
They weren't raised with that type of mentality,
but, Lord, this is something you require of us as good Christian virtue
is to be hospitable with the things that we have
and the things that you've given to us.
And I pray that you'd bless us as we go on our way, Lord.
We love you.
We thank you.
Amen.