["Pomp and Circumstance"]
Good evening, tonight we're in 1 Peter, Chapter 4.
1 Peter 4, the Bible reads,
For as much then as Christ hath suffered for us in the flesh,
arm yourselves likewise with the same mind.
For he that hath suffered in the flesh hath ceased from sin,
that he no longer should live the rest of his time
in the flesh to the lusts of men, but to the will of God.
For the time past of our lives may suffice us
to have wrought the will of the Gentiles,
when we walked in lasciviousness, lusts, excess of wine,
revelings, banqueteens, and abominable idolatries,
wherein they think it strange that ye run not with them
to the same excess of riot, speaking evil of you.
We shall give account to him that is ready to judge the quick and the dead,
and for this cause was the gospel preached also to them that are dead,
that they might be judged according to men in the flesh,
but live according to God and the Spirit.
But the end of all things is at hand.
Be ye therefore sober and watch unto prayer,
and above all things have fervent charity among yourselves,
for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.
Use hospitality one to another without grudging,
as every man hath received the gift,
even so minister the same one to another
as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.
If any man speak, let him speak as the oracles of God.
If any man minister, let him do it as of the ability which God giveth,
that God in all things may be glorified through Jesus Christ,
to whom be praise and dominion forever and ever. Amen.
Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you,
as though some strange thing happened unto you,
but rejoice inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings,
that when his glory shall be revealed,
ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.
If ye be reproached for the name of Christ, happy are ye,
for the Spirit of glory and of God resteth upon you,
on their part he is evil spoken of,
but on your part he is glorified.
But let none of you suffer as a murderer,
or as a thief, or as an evildoer,
or as a busybody in other men's matters.
Yet if any man suffer as a Christian,
let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God on this behalf.
For the time has come that judgment must begin at the house of God,
and if it first begin at us,
what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God?
And if the righteous scarcely be saved,
where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear?
Wherefore let them that suffer according to the will of God
commit the keeping of their souls to him in well-doing,
as unto a faithful creator.
Let's pray, little God, just thank you for this time we have, Lord,
to hear the preaching of your word, Lord.
Just please bless this service, every aspect of it, Lord,
and please give Pastor Boldness and fill him with the Holy Spirit, Lord,
as he preaches unto us your word.
And Lord, just pray that we are edified by these truths from your word,
that we apply them today to our lives, Lord.
And we pray this all in Jesus' name, amen.
Amen.
Okay, we're in 1 Peter chapter 4,
and tonight we're going to continue the series on manners and etiquette.
Manners and etiquette.
We started this series last week,
and we talked about manners and etiquette in church.
And a lot of you liked that sermon, apparently,
or some of you didn't like it, I don't know.
But just explaining how we should behave ourselves in the house of God,
just kind of tips and advice, counsel on how we as God's people
should behave ourselves in God's house.
And for the sake of time, I'm not going to review from last week,
but if you have not heard that sermon,
I would encourage you to go listen to it online
and don't do the things that I said not to do in that sermon, amen.
But tonight we're going to talk about manners and etiquette in the home.
It's going to be broken up into three parts in this sermon.
The first part will be just how to have manners and etiquette
in your household amongst each other, amongst family.
The second part will be how to have manners and etiquette as a host.
And the third part will be how to have manners and etiquette as a guest.
And so this is very important.
And really, if we were to just kind of summarize
what are we talking about from a biblical perspective,
we're talking about hospitality.
And in fact, look at 1 Peter 4 and verse number 8.
It says, above all things, have fervent charity among yourselves,
for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.
Verse 9, use hospitality one to another without grudging.
So what does it mean to be hospitable?
It means that you are generous with others regarding your house.
You are very much welcoming people into your household,
whether that's feeding them, providing for their needs, hosting them,
being kind unto them.
This is what that's referring to.
And it's in context of having fervent charity.
What is fervent charity?
In other words, you should have fervent or excited, passionate love for people.
And part of having passionate love for people
is that you're willing to bring them to your house.
This is what hospitality is.
But it's not just a matter of bringing them to your house.
It's bringing them to your house in order to favor them,
to make them feel comfortable,
to essentially mi casa es su casa type of philosophy.
For those of you who don't speak Spanish, sorry.
But here it says that we should do it, listen to this, without grudging.
Now what does grudging mean?
Oh, man, I got people over at my house.
Yeah, as a Christian, yeah.
That's what the Bible's talking about here, okay?
According to the Bible, this should be a byproduct
of our love for people that are willing to have...
Well, you know, my house is not really that big.
Well, there's no stipulation on how big or how small your house has to be.
Hospitality can be exercised no matter where you live, what you have,
no matter how big the house, how small the house,
regardless, you can always exercise hospitality one toward another.
And the Bible says that you should do it without grudging,
in other words, without complaining, okay?
And so this is a Christian virtue that the Bible consistently talks about.
Now, you're in 1 Peter 4, but go with me, if you would, to Romans 12.
Romans 12, if you would.
Now, when you think of hospitality, probably the first thing that comes to mind
are the qualifications of a pastor.
This is something we see within the qualifications.
Let me read to you from 1 Timothy 3, and verse number 2 says,
a bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife,
vigilant, sober, of good behavior.
Listen to this, given to hospitality, apt to teach.
Now, people read that and say to themselves,
well, I'm not going to be a pastor, so I guess that doesn't really apply to me.
But what people fail to realize is that these are stipulations
that are required in order to identify a potential pastor.
So this means that the person who wants to be a pastor
should at baseline be able to fulfill these Christian virtues.
So it's not like, well, I'm not going to be a pastor, so I'm not going to be hospitable.
Wrong.
The Bible is just simply saying if you're looking for a pastor,
you should look for a person who's already given to hospitality.
They like to be around God's people.
They like to have God's people over.
This is what that's referring to.
The Bible also says in Titus 1.7, for a bishop must be blameless as the steward of God.
Now, what is a steward?
Well, there's a person who is managing the property, possessions of another person.
And the Bible says that we are stewards of God,
meaning that everything that we have actually is not necessarily ours.
It belongs to God.
The resources we have, the home that we have, the vehicles that we have,
everything that we have actually belongs to God.
And we are just managers.
We are stewards of those things, which is why God has the right to say,
Be hospitable with the things that I've given to you.
Use those things to be a blessing to others.
He says steward of God, not self-willed, not soon angry,
not given to wine, no striker, not given to filthy lucre,
but a lover of hospitality.
So 1 Peter 4 says that we should do it without grudging.
And if we're to do it without grudging, according to Titus 1, verse 8,
it says that we should be a lover of hospitality.
Now, what does that mean?
It means you're supposed to actually enjoy having people over, okay?
Something that you should strive for,
something that Christians should be characterized by,
someone who loves being around God's people, serving God's people.
This is what the Bible is referring to, a lover of hospitality,
a lover of good men, sober, just, holy, and temperate.
Let me read to you from Hebrews chapter 13 and verse number 1.
It says, Let brotherly love continue.
Be not forgetful to entertain strangers,
for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.
So obviously, God not only expects us to be hospitable with God's people,
that's a given,
but we should be hospitable towards just people in general, okay?
And it even says here that, you know,
there are instances where we can entertain people
that are believers without us even knowing it.
And so that's important for us to recognize.
Look at, you're in Romans chapter 12 and verse number 10.
Have you turned to Romans?
Romans 12 verse 10.
It says, Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love,
in honor, preferring one another, not slothful in business,
fervent in spirit, serving the Lord, rejoicing in hope,
patient in tribulation, continuing instant in prayer,
distributing to the necessities of the saints, given to hospitality.
Again, the idea here is that we're supposed to be characterized
as being hospitable people distributing to the necessities of the saints.
I'm going to read to you from Luke chapter 14.
Actually, go to Luke chapter 14, if you would.
Luke chapter 14.
As you turn there, I'm going to read to you from Acts chapter 16 and verse 30.
I'm going to read to you an example of hospitality.
It says in verse number 30,
this is a very familiar passage to us as soul winners.
It says, And brought them out and said, Sir, what must I do to be saved?
And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ,
and thou shalt be saved in thy house.
And they spake unto him the word of the Lord and to all that were in his house.
And he took them the same hour of the night and washed their stripes
and was baptized he in all his straight way.
And when he had brought them into his house,
he sent meat before them and rejoiced, believing in God with all his house.
What a wonderful story.
This man gets saved.
He gets the gospel preached unto him.
He gets saved.
His family gets saved.
Those in his household get saved.
And what's the first thing he does?
He offers hospitality.
He becomes hospitable towards the people who want him to Christ
by offering him food, right?
A meal to eat.
That is an example of hospitality.
Not only that, but we should be hospitable.
Listen to this.
Not expecting anything in return.
So when the Bible says that forever in charity,
we do it because we want to be a blessing to people,
not because we want something in return,
not because we want them to invite us to their house
or we want something from them.
We should do it out of a sense of love and charity,
not expecting anything in return.
Look at Luke 14 and verse 12.
It says,
Then said he also to them that bade him,
When thou makest the dinner or supper,
call not thy friends nor thy brethren,
neither thy kinsmen nor thy rich neighbors,
lest they also bid thee again, and a recompense be made thee.
But when thou makest the feast, call the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind,
and thou shalt be blessed, for they cannot recompense thee,
for thou shalt be recompensed at the resurrection of the just.
In other words, we should seek to do good to others,
not expecting anything in return,
out of a sense of love and charity,
because we want to be hospitable.
We want to be a blessing to others.
So the sermon tonight is based upon this principle
of being hospitable one with another.
And before I get into that, let me just encourage you.
And I don't think I'm crossing the line here.
I don't think I'm overstepping my boundaries.
I want to encourage you to be a hospitable Christian with your home.
And I would never encourage you to do something
that I myself would not do.
And you say, well, now you've got a bigger house.
Well, here's the thing.
We're hospitable when we lived in like a studio apartment.
I remember long ago in Long Beach, we had a studio.
It was like a one-bedroom.
And everything was in that room.
Kitchen, bed, my son's bed, an Ikea couch,
which it was ideal because Ikea couches are just really small.
But we'd have people over all the time.
We'd have people over for dinner at our little kitchen table.
And it wasn't like we were worried like, oh, I don't think I would have enough space.
For us, it's just like we just want to have you over because we love you.
And we want an opportunity to be a blessing to you,
to a person in our church, people that we're working with, family members.
We wanted to do that.
And we've done it in every single house that we've lived in,
regardless of how big or how small it was.
And in fact, when we moved to Huntington Beach, we hosted a Christmas party there.
I don't know who from here went there, but the whole church was invited.
And if you've been to that house in Huntington Beach,
you know that it's not conducive to having people over, especially a church.
It was just like a house party.
It was just like everyone was just kind of moving through.
People were in my garage.
They're in our rooms.
They're everywhere.
But you know what, my wife and I were happy to do that
because we just love having people over to our house, plain and simple.
And now, obviously, God has blessed us with a bigger home,
and that's why we want to throw this Christmas party at our house on Friday.
And so this is just something that I believe all Christians should participate in.
And sometimes Christians can have the attitude of like,
well, I'm just kind of a private person.
Oh, okay, be private with the things that God has given to you to use for Him.
Obviously, what we have belongs to God,
and we should be stewards of those things.
And of course, we can't enforce that upon you.
This should be something that we grow into as Christians
and that we are a lover of hospitalities.
Now, obviously, if you're single and you live with your parents,
you don't have the liberty to necessarily do that.
You've got to ask for permission.
I'm speaking to people who actually are ruling their home
and they have their own home, et cetera.
All right, so let's get into it.
Manners and etiquette in your home.
Let's talk about practicing general courtesy amongst family members.
Okay, so before I get into hosting or being a guest in someone's house,
let me start off by talking about practical general courtesy amongst family members.
Now, actually, before I get into that, let me also say this.
You know, people are like, oh, you know, it's kind of coincidental there
that you're preaching the sermon, you know, before Friday.
Maybe you're trying to tell something, you know.
But think about this, though, and it is coincidence, by the way.
I didn't plan it this way. I didn't.
But think about this.
Would it be better for me to preach it before Friday?
Or on next Sunday after you guys came to, you know.
It's just like, let me list all the things that you did on Friday or something like that, okay.
And so obviously it would be more juicy on next Sunday or whatever,
but I'm not preaching this to be juicy.
It's to exhort the brethren and teach people things.
And obviously I understand that sometimes people weren't taught these things, okay.
They weren't taught some of these things and so you're going to learn them tonight, okay.
So before we get into guests coming to our house
or us being a guest in someone's house,
let's just talk about practicing general courtesy with yourselves and your family.
First and foremost, here's some practical advice.
I'm just going to, these are not in any particular order.
Number one, ask, don't demand.
When you're at home, you should practice the courtesy of asking for things politely and not demanding things.
Now this is more so for children.
You know, you got to teach your children to ask for things politely and not demand.
Give me that. I want that. Give me that.
No, you say, may I please have that, okay.
Can you please give that to me, okay.
That's just general courtesy.
And by the way, adults should practice that too, okay.
This does not apply to parents to a child in areas of discipline, by the way.
Please stop doing that.
No, that's not what I'm talking about, okay.
You know, when it comes to areas of discipline, you need to spank your children if they're disobeying, okay.
Practice saying please in your household, okay.
Even amongst you and your wife, you and your husband, there should be a sense of please and thank you politeness.
Number two, respect each other's property.
Ask before taking something, okay.
Here's another thing, saying goodnight before the night is over.
You know, there should be an environment in your home where greeting each other in the morning, you say good morning.
And then before you go to bed at night, you say goodnight.
It's not like you just ignore each other and go your separate ways in your rooms and lock yourselves into your rooms and just the night is over.
There should be a sense of have a goodnight, I love you, and let's pray together.
You know, this is common courtesy.
Practice saying I love you one to another.
And I think that's important to say because I think some of us, myself included, we didn't really grow up in a home where that kind of word, those kind of phrases were used, okay.
Maybe you didn't say I love you to your parents.
Maybe your parents didn't tell you that they love you.
I don't know.
You know, sometimes culturally, that's sometimes a thing, you know.
And so, but as Christians, we should do that, okay.
It's getting kind of quiet in here, man.
You guys never heard this.
Greet one another when people come home.
You know, when your siblings come home, when your parents come home, you know, you should greet them by name.
Acknowledge that they're present.
Acknowledge that they're there.
They should not be ignored.
You know, when dad or mom walks through the door, it shouldn't be like, you just like, it's just like, hi mom, hi dad, oh, hi mom, oh, hi dad, okay.
You know, by the way, let me also say this.
Moms should make a big deal about dad coming home.
In other words, when dad comes home from a hard day's work, you know, and he comes to the door, moms need to prep their children and say, hey, dad's home.
Go greet him.
Go give him a hug and a kiss.
Be excited that he's home, okay.
Why? Because he's the boss, okay.
He's the lord of the house and he is, he should be welcomed in that, in that manner, okay.
Number five, say thank you for meals, gifts, and treats.
Teach your children to say thank you for meals, gifts, and treats.
Don't complain about the food you're given.
And obviously, I'm talking about kids and teenagers.
Don't complain about the food that you're given.
Here's another common courtesy in the home, and that is knock on the door before entering a room.
That's important, okay.
Restrooms, bedrooms, you know, obviously not your own house if you're going into your own house.
I'm saying different rooms you should knock, especially if it's a place of privacy, okay.
Now, this is a big one right here.
This is doctrine that I'm teaching you, okay.
Say excuse me if you need to interrupt a conversation or when you burp or make other bodily noises.
You're like, really? Wow, that's, okay.
That's interesting. I've never really done that before.
Say excuse me if you need to interrupt, and we're talking about in your household.
And I know this is random, but I got to teach you this stuff, okay.
Because you probably were never taught this.
Say excuse me.
And by the way, burping or other bodily noises are things that shouldn't be done in the presence of others.
We're talking about if you do it on accident.
So this is assuming it just happens, okay.
I'm not trying to be silly here, but this is important, okay.
Because it's rude.
It's rude to, you know, do bodily noises, especially in front of the presence of a woman.
That's rude, okay.
Man, that's rude.
Okay, I don't care.
You know, I've been married for this amount of time and all.
I'm just trying to teach you common courtesy, though.
Christian courtesy, okay.
And if it happens and, you know, you burp or whatever and other bodily noises happen, apologize.
Say excuse me, I'm sorry about that, and move on, okay.
Bless God, that's my kingdom.
I know it's wherever I want.
Okay, all right.
I'm just teaching you to have common courtesy, though.
To be a respectable person.
And yeah, you are a king and a king, you know, operates himself with dignity, not sloppily, okay.
So say excuse me.
And say excuse me.
And you teach your children to say excuse me, and this is something that I'm constantly trying to teach my kids.
Like when I'm talking to adults or another person, they come up and they have a tendency to just break that conversation and just like, Dad!
And it's just like, say excuse me, or you need to wait until I'm done with this conversation, okay.
We're talking about manners and etiquette, all right.
Here's another one.
Chew with your mouth closed.
And use napkins.
This is something I have had to teach my kids, and I remember my mom having to teach me this as a child.
You know, when you're eating, it's not, you kind of want to just tell people, is that good or what?
How's that taste?
Chew with your mouth closed.
Use napkins.
Don't use your sleeves.
Don't use your hands.
Don't use your shirt.
Don't use the table.
Don't use the carpet.
Don't use your pants.
Don't use your pockets.
Use a napkin.
And I'm talking about children, but maybe some adults need to hear this too, okay.
Don't talk with your mouth full.
This is a rule that I have in my house.
Obviously, you can take this or leave it.
You don't have to yell at the dinner table.
The dinner table should be a place where we have a meal.
I always have to tell my kids, hey, I'm right here.
You don't have to yell, I'm right here.
And by the way, let me say, obviously there's a time and place for everything.
We're not saying no yelling at all at no time whatsoever, because when they're outside, they can yell and play and do all that.
But there's a time and place for everything.
Teach your family, teach your children that that's the case as well.
And by the way, teaching your kids that there's a time and place for everything helps them to realize that they shouldn't be like that when they come to church.
They realize, well, church is not a place where I just jump all over the place and hop over the roads and destroy things.
This is church, we should not behave ourselves here.
We should not behave ourselves in that manner here.
Number nine, this is just talking about amongst ourselves and our families and our homes, clean up after yourself.
Okay.
Clear your plates and excuse yourself when done.
So when you're done eating, you know, just like leave your stuff or whatever.
Now, here's the thing.
You know, growing up, I had to clear my plate.
Growing up, I had to throw away the trash.
But now my wife does it for me.
Okay, I'm a chauvinist, whatever.
That's just how that's how I roll.
Okay.
But we teach our kids, you clear your plate, clear the table, get rid of your stuff.
And any time I'm finished eating, I always, 100% of the time, unless something changes, I get up and I say, thank you so much for the meal, Sarah.
Excuse me.
And I excuse myself from the table.
Okay.
I always do that.
We always pray before we eat.
We teach our children to say please and thank you, not to yell.
And once we're done, I always thank my wife for the meal.
And I say excuse me, and then I excuse myself to another room to go work or whatever.
Here's another one that doesn't necessarily have to do with that.
And this is the last one regarding just general principles of courtesy in the home.
Apologize one to another for wrongdoing.
Okay.
That's a common courtesy.
Okay.
Especially amongst brothers and sisters.
They always offend each other.
But even with spouses, apologize for wrongdoing.
Practice those manners, that type of manner and etiquette.
All right.
That's over with.
Now let's talk about being a host.
Okay.
All right.
Manners and etiquette in the home as a host.
Now what is a host?
You know, someone who essentially welcomes people to their house for a specific event.
Maybe it's for dinner.
Sometimes it's for a birthday.
It's for a special event.
You are inviting people to come to your house.
Now go to Matthew chapter 25, if you would.
Matthew chapter 25.
I'm going to give you some principles and etiquette regarding manners as a host.
Okay.
Now you can write these down as I go along, but it's a lot.
And so I would encourage you to just go listen to the sermon again.
But I do encourage you to take this serious though.
Okay.
Because you're like, you know what?
I'm going to practice some hospitality.
But then you don't do some of this stuff.
It's not going to seem very hospitable.
Okay.
Look at Matthew 25 verse 42.
It says, then shall the king say unto them on his right hand, come ye blessed that my
father inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.
For I was unhungred and he gave me meat.
I was thirsty and he gave me drink.
I was a stranger.
You took me in naked and he clothed me.
I was sick and he visited me.
I was in prison and he came unto me.
Then shall the righteous answer him saying, Lord, when saw we the and hungered and fed
the or thirsty and gave the drink.
When saw we the a stranger and took the inner naked and clothing or once are we the sick
or in prison and came unto thee.
The king shall answer and say to them, Verily I say to you in as much as you have done it
unto one of the least of these, my brethren, I want you to notice this ye have done it
unto me.
So when practicing hospitality, you have to realize the people you're bringing to your
house, you should serve them as unto Christ.
You're being hospitable to them as unto the Lord, because however you treat the people
that are coming to your house, the Lord takes it as you're doing it to him.
Now, if you approach hospitality with that in mind, we will do everything with the spirit
of excellence or as best as we possibly can, because we realize, you know what?
The Lord sees this as though I'm serving him.
I'm inviting him to my home.
I'm feeding him.
I'm entertaining him.
That's how he views it.
OK, now, with that being said, let me go through the list of grievance.
I mean, a list of things.
I'm just kidding.
That will help you to be a good host, have manners and etiquette as a host.
And again, this is if you're inviting someone over for dinner, a birthday party, things
of that nature.
Number one, as a host, adequately prepare for guests.
OK, what I mean by that?
Have a clean home.
Ladies, clean your house, clean your home, clean the deep cleaning to any time we have
guests at our house.
I mean, it is a nightmare for my wife because she just spends like two weeks just like preparing
for that, just cleaning every nook and cranny, everything.
It just has to be perfect.
But, you know, I'm thankful for it because that is an appropriate thing to do.
You know, we are having guests over.
We want our household to be adequately prepared for everyone who's coming.
So clean your house, clean your restrooms.
OK, if you're having guests over, clean your restrooms and feed the garbage can, have adequate
toilet paper and towels available for your guests that come.
Light a candle in the restroom for when people come.
You say, why?
OK.
So this is a great way to adequately prepare for them.
Clean your house, clean the restrooms, adequately have adequate paper products, have candles
lit.
Hey, make it smell nice.
Make your household smell nice.
You want a pleasant smell when people come to your home.
This is great.
I love this stuff.
OK.
Have adequate seating.
Have enough food.
Here's a good one.
Anticipate the needs of your guests.
OK.
What do you mean by that?
Well, you know, when guests come over to your house, you should ask yourself, do they like
coffee?
OK.
You know, get coffee for them.
You're like, well, I don't really drink coffee, but do your guests drink coffee?
You know, as someone who's exercising hospitality, you're not bringing them over to your house
to please yourself so that you can have a good time.
You're actually bringing them over to your house to serve them.
That's what hospitality is about.
You're serving the people who are coming to your house.
Now, for example, you know, if you are having coffee, ask yourself, do they use creamer?
Now, I do not drink creamer.
I think creamer is lame.
OK.
I drink.
Yeah.
I said it.
I think creamer is lame.
I don't drink it.
I drink my coffee black.
OK.
I like my coffee like the King James version of the Bible.
OK.
No commentary whatsoever.
But I know the people that are there are some people that are weak in the faith.
I'm just kidding.
You know, when I have guests over my wife, she buys all the creamers for people because
she knows that people like creamer.
And I'm just not like, hey, we don't do creamer here.
So sorry.
We drink water only.
OK.
Oh, you want so you don't do soda here.
We do flavored water.
You know, I don't know whatever weird thing.
You know, we don't do anything with red dye here or whatever, you know.
Well, then, who are you preparing for yourself or the people you're having over?
You know, you should adequately prepare.
Think to yourself, do they drink coffee?
Do they use creamer?
Hey, what is their favorite drink?
You know, that's a little too much.
Yeah, it's kind of like going the second mile, huh?
It's kind of like what it is.
You're just trying to create an environment that they enjoy.
Right.
You're having people over.
They're like, you know what?
I know they like Coke Zero or they like root beer.
They like A&W.
And by the way, we're talking about like sodas and stuff like no beer or whatever.
Right.
If they like alcohol, you shouldn't be fellowship with them in the first place.
Hey, how about this?
You know, I'm not saying you have to take it to this extent.
But, you know, as best as you possibly can, how about just dietary restrictions?
OK.
You know, we've had people at our house that are on a specific diet.
Maybe they're on keto or carnivore.
And we will, you know, designate the menu in such a way that we kind of like are helping them with that.
You know, if someone's on keto, I'm not trying to bring out cheesecake.
We're like, well, this is what we got.
So eat what is before the asking questions for nothing for conscience sake.
For me, it's just like, well, that's what they do.
Let's try to get something that they would enjoy having so they can have a good time here
and not see us eat all the delicious food that they can't have.
OK.
Is this a little much?
I'm just kind of trying to help you here.
This is a way you can be hospitable to people.
And this is a way that people, when they leave your house, they're like, man, I really enjoyed being at that house.
They're very caring, they're thoughtful, anticipate the needs of your guests.
OK.
Here's another thing that I think will help us as hosts.
And that is have music playing in your household.
OK.
Now, let me explain why that is.
This is like a psychological thing.
Whenever you go into a room filled with people and there's no music, let me just say this.
It's very awkward.
I don't know why it is.
Even when you come to church, if you ever come to church, and that's why I always have music playing before the services,
but if there's no music, it's almost awkward.
You can hear everyone's conversation, and it just feels awkward.
But when there's music, there's something about the music playing that kind of creates an environment conducive to fellowship and socialization.
OK.
And that's the same thing in your home.
When someone comes to your home, and I'm not talking about have like Banda playing or something like that or some DJ.
I'm talking about obviously Christian music.
All right.
No CCM or something like that.
Tupac or whatever it is that you listen to.
Have pleasant music playing, hymns playing in the background.
Not loudly, but just enough that it creates a nice environment.
Number three.
Express.
Listen to this.
Express your ex as a host.
Express your expectations ahead of time.
OK.
What time does it start?
What time does it end?
OK.
You need to express that to your guests before they come to your house.
OK.
Everyone's looking at me like this is not life changing.
Well, the day that you host someone, you'll realize how important this is, right?
Do you want people to bring something?
OK.
Express the start of time, end time.
Do you want people to bring something?
Express whether they can bring a guest or not.
OK.
Now, this is really big in Mexican culture.
And what I mean by big, I mean like they have a tendency to bring a ton of people that they didn't say that they were going to bring.
You know, that's just how they do it.
Super rude, actually.
You know, where it's just like you invite someone over and they will literally bring their entire family with them.
You know, I'm talking about extended family.
Or friends and family, you're just not adequately prepared for that.
But if you don't want them to bring, just say, you know, I invite you and your immediate family to come.
OK.
Or if you say, you know, hey, we invite you and bring a guest with you, you need to communicate that to them so that you're not offended, they're not offended, et cetera.
OK.
The next thing regarding expressing your expectations ahead of time is guide and direct the schedule.
When people come to your house, they're just they're your guests.
So it's important for you to kind of have an itinerary of what's going to happen.
OK.
That way, it's not just kind of like flippantly.
You're just kind of going through the motions.
You don't really know what's happening.
You need to help guide and direct the schedule there.
Here's the next thing.
When being a host, greet people with a warm welcome.
In other words, someone knocks on the door, you know, just up in the door and be like, oh, hey, what's up?
Yeah, I mean, just come in, I guess.
Yeah, just, you know.
It should be, hey, how's it going?
Glad you guys are here.
You know, have a smile on your face, a warm welcome.
Thank them for coming.
OK.
Here's a big one.
Please pay attention to this one.
If it's a birthday, OK, very important.
If it's a birthday, teach the birthday child to thank or the birthday person to thank the people who came and to be grateful for what they brought, if they bring a present.
OK.
In other words, you know, someone comes to you, someone comes to your child's birthday or your birthday, you need to teach your child, hey, make sure you go out of your way to go thank that person for bringing themselves and their family and a present over as well.
OK.
Once they come in through the door, here's a couple of things you can offer them.
OK.
Offer them a seat.
Offer them a drink.
Show them where the restrooms are.
Give them a general itinerary of the events of the evening.
Inquire about their drive.
OK.
Ask if they need anything.
And here's a big thing.
If you have children, get your children involved in the hosting process as well.
Teach your children, hey, when they come, make sure you ask them if they need a water, if they want a soda, if they need anything.
This is important.
OK.
Offering water, drinks.
Offer them to play with their kids, the kids to play with their kids.
Have your children offer them their toys.
Hey, do you want to play with my toys?
You want to go see what I got?
I got some toys you can play with.
We're there to be a blessing to the people.
OK.
Here's the next thing.
Very important here.
And I'm mostly here talking to individuals who are hosts who may not have kids.
And that is accommodate and be kind to families with children.
OK.
If you're inviting someone over who has children, you need to be kind to them, forgiving and patient, and try your best to accommodate them.
Because let me just say this.
It's not easy having a lot of kids, bringing them to a household.
You know, it can be a little flustering.
OK.
If you have families over with children, make sure you communicate realistic boundaries.
I mean, let me give you an example.
You know, people come over to your house.
You have two stories.
You say, yeah, no one's going upstairs.
We're just going to keep it down here.
Make sure you communicate that.
OK.
Or you can create boundaries that don't need to be communicated.
So what do you mean by that?
If you don't want people going through your house, lock the doors.
Right.
You understand what I'm saying?
Because sometimes parents just, and here's the, we'll get into this other part later.
Sometimes people just don't want their kids.
OK.
And they just get into everything.
Well, what we, you need to do, what I need to do, is lock your bedroom door if you don't want people going in your bedroom door.
Lock whatever extra rooms.
OK.
Lock cabinets if you have to.
Lock whatever is necessary to lock so they don't get into those things.
OK.
You say, well, they should wash their kids.
It's true.
But as a host, we're not going to tell them that now, are we?
OK.
So we want to accommodate them and not expect for them to just be angels the entire time.
So sometimes you have to lock things.
But it's also necessary to just communicate to them, like, yeah, we're going to stay up, stay away from these rooms here.
No one go into those rooms.
Whatever.
Express that.
You don't have to childproof your entire house.
But be mindful of putting away valuables that can potentially be destroyed.
OK.
So you've got to think about this stuff ahead of time.
Like, if you know you're inviting someone who has a bunch of kids and maybe they're a little rowdy, then you're like, hun, go put the valuables away.
You know.
Put the $1,000 vase away or, you know, now's not the time to pull out the China ware.
Let's put those things away.
Paper plates tonight and plastic cups.
OK.
Be mindful of that.
And if something breaks, then it breaks.
Don't shame them for that.
It's just like, I can't believe you did that.
You know.
It's just like, yeah, it's all right.
It's just a valuable piece of possession that cost me $5,000.
Just be like, no, that's all right.
Don't worry about it.
We'll pick it up.
Don't worry about it.
But at the end of the day, it's our fault for not putting those things away, knowing full well that people are going to be in our household.
And so things like that can happen.
Let moms know ahead of time rooms they can use to nurse their children and change diapers.
OK.
Meaning that also, and I'm getting ahead of myself, but guests, don't just change your children's diaper just anywhere.
OK.
You know, at the dinner table, yeah, it was a rough day.
You know, it was just like, whoa.
I know you're real natural.
OK.
But that's a little too natural.
OK.
It's just like you're just changing the diaper like on the floor somewhere.
You know, I don't want to get into that yet because I will.
You should ask ahead of time.
If the host does not communicate this, ask the host like, hey, is there a place I can change, you know, my children's diapers or whatever.
But, you know, we're talking to the host here.
Let them know ahead of time where they can nurse their children or change diapers.
OK.
Here's the next thing.
We're talking about accommodating and being kind to families with children.
Be flexible.
Don't expect little children to be perfect.
OK.
Don't embarrass your guests that they do something off-putting.
Be gracious and allow yourself to be defrauded.
OK.
If they do something that's off-putting, if they destroy your property, if they do something that's just really annoying,
well, just take the loss.
OK.
And have charity.
Just be kind to them and gracious.
Don't embarrass them.
But here's a good thing to do.
If you're a host and you know the children are coming over, we're not talking about birthday parties per se,
but just say, let's just say you're inviting a family over for dinner.
OK.
Have games or fun activities for the children.
So this should be already something planned for the children to do when they come to your house.
OK.
Maybe like a certain segment of the house, a corner of the house where all the children could be involved in.
Maybe you have things for them to destroy already that you can put there.
You know, whatever you got to do, just plan for it ahead of time.
Here's a big thing when it comes to hosting your people is that really what you're doing is that you're thinking of their comfort.
OK.
And just think about it.
Think to yourself, like, if I was a guest in this house, what would be a thing that I would really appreciate them doing,
them going out of their way to do?
And that's really what hospitality is.
It's essentially taking, preferring them over yourself.
Utilizing your possessions, your resources, your house to make them feel welcome, loved, care for.
Think of their comfort.
OK.
Give them the best seat in the house.
Give them, you know, the A-list treatment, so to speak.
OK.
That's what that's what it means to be hospitable.
Now, obviously, this can be taken to an extreme.
We can't cater to everyone's whim when they come to our house.
Right.
And there's a story that I'm just thinking of someone in our church who they've told other people about this as well.
And it was about a family that they went to this family's house and this family has children.
You know what I mean?
And so they have children.
But then they went to a family's house that didn't have children.
OK.
Nothing wrong with that.
But the husband and they don't come to our church anymore.
The husband put like a square towel or a blanket or something and said the kids have to sit in this square the entire time for like hours on end.
That's super unrealistic and it's stupid.
OK.
It's just like right here.
They can't move.
They can't touch anything.
I mean, that's ridiculous.
You know, if I was the parents, I'd be like, all right, cool.
Well, hey, thanks for having me over.
Appreciate it.
We're going to head out because that's just an unrealistic expectation to have.
OK.
It's not right to do.
You can't expect children to sit in a square for four hours straight and just not do anything at all.
It's crazy.
OK.
Being hospitable means you're preferring your guest over yourself, over your own comfort and so on.
OK.
Here's the thing that you can do as a host when people come over to your house.
Talk to them.
And welcome them into conversations.
OK.
If you are an introvert, too bad.
If you're the host, you got to do some talking.
OK.
You got to kind of go out of your way to talk to people.
Hey, how's it going?
Thanks for coming.
How was the drive?
What'd you do this week?
Because you're the host.
OK.
I'm not saying you have to be like a major social butterfly, but people are coming to your house.
This is your turf.
OK.
So welcome people into the conversations.
And, you know, as an introvert, maybe you don't know how to spark up a whole lot of conversations.
Maybe you need to take the extreme route and come up with a list of subjects to talk about so as to keep the conversation going.
OK.
Now, I don't have that issue.
I could probably just talk for hours and hours and hours, and introverts can just listen to me the entire time.
But I'm just saying, introverts in general, if you're having people over at your house, you need to adequately prepare for conversations and welcome people into those conversations as well.
Because if not, it's just awkward.
People just sit on their couch.
They're not talking to anybody.
They're just kind of there.
It's like, you know, no one's talking to one another.
I mean, it's rude.
OK.
As the host, listen to this.
It's very important.
As a host or a guest, but we're talking to hosts here, don't be on your phone when you have people over.
You know, you're just like checking Instagram or something like that.
OK.
You're checking the Instagram of the person who came to your house.
You're checking the stories of the person who's at it.
That's rude.
Put your phone away.
Put it on airplane mode.
Put it away.
Your primary focus should be the guests that are coming to your house.
OK.
And here's the last point regarding the host.
And that is, know your home doesn't have to be perfect or sizable, just warm and welcoming.
OK.
So don't worry about what people are going to think about your house.
You're like, oh, man, I think people are going to have this, you know, idea about my house.
They're going to criticize my house.
Who cares what they think?
The important thing is, is they're coming to your home, not necessarily your house.
The home is the people and what the people make the environment to be.
OK.
Don't be ashamed of your house.
Don't be ashamed of your home.
It's what God gave you.
It's what God provided for you.
And you know what?
People appreciate sincerity as well.
OK.
If they see that you have a, quote unquote, small house and you're willing to open it
up for other people to come, people love that.
People appreciate that.
And they will very much appreciate you for it.
Go to Luke Chapter 14, if you would, Luke Chapter 14.
So with that being said, be a hospitable person.
I want to encourage you, have people over to your house if you're if you have the liberty
to do so from our church.
You know, there's nothing wrong with going to maybe someone on your team, leaders or
anybody to say, hey, I like to have you over for dinner one day.
Are you guys free?
And you know what?
If, ladies, if you're like, man, I clean my house, but I need to do a deep cleaning,
though, having people over to your house is the best way to do it.
It's the best.
Well, when you know when women know that people are coming over, they're like, oh, man, deep
cleaning time.
OK, so husbands let you in a little secret.
If you want your wife to do deep cleaning, just invite someone over and say, hey, we
got the so-and-sos coming over on Friday.
And they're just like, ah.
And they'll stay up till 2 o'clock in the morning cleaning and scrubbing floors.
It's great.
And then and then Friday comes around like, oh, I was just kidding.
I just need you to clean.
I'm just kidding.
They canceled.
No, I'm just kidding.
But, you know, it's a blessing.
OK, and it's very fulfilling to have people over your house.
It's very fulfilling to to be a blessing to people.
Try it out.
It's a great it's a great practice.
OK.
All right.
Now let's talk about the guest manners and etiquette in the home.
Well, how should you behave yourself if you are a guest in someone's house?
OK, well, let's look at Luke 14 in verse seven, first and foremost.
It says, and he put forth a parable to those which were bitten when he marked how they
chose out the chief room, saying unto them, when they are bitten of any man to a wedding,
sit not down in the highest room, lest the more honorable man than thou be bitten of
him.
And he that bathe thee and him come, excuse me, and he that bathe thee and him come and
say to thee, give this man place and thou begin with shame to take the lowest room.
But when thou are bitten, go and sit down in the lowest room, that when he that bathe
thee cometh, he may say unto thee, friend, go up higher.
Then shalt thou have worship in the presence of them that sit at me with thee, for whosoever
shall exalt themselves shall be abased, and he that humbled themselves shall be exalted.
Here's the principle here.
You know, when you go to someone's house, you're not the VIP.
Now, in the eyes of the host, you might be the VIP, but you should go to someone's house
with a humble attitude, not with a spirit of expectation.
OK, be appreciative of whatever it is that your host does for you.
Don't take the best seed.
Don't take the best food.
Just take whatever whatever is offered before you and appreciate what they do.
Now, let's give some some tips here.
If you are a guest in someone's house, number one, be on time.
OK, be the white man was the only one who said that.
Be on time.
Not too early.
Your host may not be ready.
Not too late.
You may disrupt the schedule of events.
OK, please pay attention to this.
Let me repeat it again.
Be on time.
Not too early.
Your host may not be ready.
OK, and that is a nightmare for someone who's hosting something.
It's just like you're an hour early.
You know, we're still like getting ready here.
Too late.
You may disrupt the schedule of events.
Communicate if something comes up and you're running late.
So people aren't wondering if you're still coming or worried about you.
OK, and get this out of your vocabulary.
I'll be there around fill in the blank time.
OK, because around can mean any time, right?
You should say or you should just be there whenever they ask you to be there.
OK, and so if you're running late, something's happening.
You know, you're not able to make it.
Make sure you communicate to your host because they're expecting you.
OK, very important.
Amen.
Respect your host's wishes.
Whether they ask you to bring a gift, maybe it's a birthday party,
or they tell you don't bring a gift.
Whatever it is that they ask of you, do it.
If there's a specific attire that you should be wearing,
respect those wishes and participate.
Don't be the party pooper.
You know, well, I don't have any 1800s attire.
Go find some.
I've been doing it for years.
Go get a handkerchief or something.
Go get some boots, get dirty or some girl a beard or something.
Don't be the oddball out coming here or going to a specific event
and not participating with everyone else.
Be a team player, OK?
Well, I'm just not really into those things.
Then get into it.
You're being rude by not participating
and whatever the host asks you to do.
Amen?
Well, I just, you know, I don't have an excuse.
Exactly.
OK?
And so respect your host's wishes.
Don't feel like you're the exception to the rule.
All right, now let's talk about some practical things here,
aside from being on time respecting the host's wishes.
When you come to your host's house, OK,
don't just barge into the door.
Just open, oh, it's a party.
It's a birthday party.
We can just go walk.
No.
Knock on the door.
Ring the doorbell.
That's not your house.
Knock on the door and wait to be welcomed in.
Oh, they took a while, so I just walked in.
Call them.
That's not your house.
That's not an appropriate thing to do.
And let me say this.
Don't allow your children to just run in the house either.
When we come to someone's house, we should go there as a family.
OK?
Not the kids just running in and just going through the door,
opening the door, and just running in and running amok.
Very rude, very inappropriate.
We're guests in someone's house.
That is not our home.
OK?
And so teach your children we don't just barge into people's
homes.
That's not your house.
We don't just jump on their couches.
We don't just mess with their stuff.
We are guests in this house.
We need to act and behave ourselves accordingly.
OK?
Your children should stay with you until invited to play
or participate in other activities.
OK?
So when you come with your children to, let's say,
an event, have them stay with you until the host kids
or someone else, they come and say, hey, we're playing outside.
Why don't you come with us?
And then let them go.
Don't just like, well, you know, I'm really close to this family.
They're really close to this family, though.
So their casa is my casa.
We're just kind of used to behaving this way.
Inappropriate, though.
OK?
And if you allow your children to behave that way in that house,
they're going to behave that way all across the board
in anybody's house.
It's getting kind of quiet in here.
Teach your children to greet the host
and thank them for inviting them.
OK?
And look, you know, kids shouldn't just be barging in,
especially if the host is right there,
and just bypass the host or something.
They should walk up and say, thank you so much for having us.
We're grateful to be here.
Show them how to be polite.
OK?
As a guest, respect personal spaces, bedrooms, cabinets,
refrigerator.
I'm serious.
This is the thing.
I've had people, you know, I've had the neighborhood kids,
you know, just kind of barge through my door
and just go in my refrigerator.
And I'm just like, and then, you know, he's like,
running out, and I'm just there.
I'm like, what are you doing here?
And he's just like, oh, I'm just getting the water.
I'm like, oh, OK.
And I told my wife, like, don't let
these kids just walk in here.
Like, we want to be hospitable, obviously.
But we, like, people shouldn't just expect that, though.
It's wrong.
It's rude.
It's inappropriate.
It shows a lack of character and etiquette.
OK?
And so don't allow your children to just barge in and go
through the refrigerator and go through the food.
Teach your children how to be guests in someone's house.
OK?
I don't know if it's quiet in here
because you're bored with the sermon
or because you do this stuff.
But in either case, you're going to hear it no matter what.
OK?
Teach your kids not to go in there.
And by the way, the point that I made last week, OK?
If your kids do these things, don't laugh it off either.
Oh, they just do stuff like that.
Well, that's not cool.
They just violate people's stuff.
They just go through people's stuff.
They just break people's stuff.
That shows bad parenting.
OK?
As a guest, if you need something, ask.
OK?
And be complimentary.
When you go to someone's home, compliment them on their home.
Compliment them on the meal.
And let me say this.
Don't complain.
Don't be a murmur or a complainer.
And I'm going to say this.
If anybody ever complains or murmurs in my home,
I will never invite you back.
Now, the reason I say this is because no one's ever
complained or murmured in my home.
But I'm just, you know, this is just, you know.
And let me give you an illustration of this.
OK?
Now, this was not at my house.
This is at Brother Lemon's house.
We were at Brother Lemon's house for a particular,
I don't remember what it was, some event or some birthday.
And it was when Brother Maury had a dog.
OK?
You guys remember when he had that dog?
Does he still have that dog?
Everybody know?
He doesn't have that dog.
He had a dog, and dogs live outside.
He lived in his backyard.
That's where dogs deserve to be, right?
That's where he was.
Well, the party was kind of like it was outside, too.
And there is a particular church member
that no longer goes to our church
but was also used in a previous illustration last week.
It was the same person who stacks his plate
all the way, you know, to the ceiling
and just is completely inconsiderate of everyone else.
OK?
Well, he was there.
And you know what?
Let me just be honest with you.
I'm not a big fan of dogs.
I don't really like dogs.
I'm not a big fan of cats, either,
so don't say amen too quickly.
I just don't like animals, period.
I just, you know, I like a goldfish
because it just kind of does its thing
and dies after a while.
You know, it's just a good animal to have.
But I'm not really a big fan of animals, dogs, or cats.
But here's the thing.
I'm a big fan of the dogs or the animals
or the cats that my church members have
because they like those animals
and so, therefore, I like them, too.
OK?
I like Brother Hikes' cat for various reasons, you know?
Patches is a cool cat.
I wouldn't have a cat personally, but I like his cat
and I like the fact that he likes his cat.
I'm not going to go to Hikes' house
and just start, like, messing with him
and saying, hey, get off the seat, man.
You know, just, like, mistreating the animal
or something like that.
That'd be very inappropriate to do.
So we're outside and, you know, the dog walks by
and he basically jumps on the seating
where this person was at
and this person begins to just curse in French,
or not French, in Russian or Armenian or whatever it is,
but just publicly showing his distaste
for the fact that the dog sat there
and he's just, like, he's just murmuring
and complaining about it.
Just, and I was embarrassed.
I don't even live there.
That's my church member.
I was visibly embarrassed.
I'm like, that is the rudest thing to do.
This is not your house.
It'd be different if it was, like, you know,
maybe that was his house
and Maury brought his dog or something to the house.
At that point, you kind of have a right to be like,
OK, get off the couch.
Hey, can you come get your dog?
That's not your house, though.
He's like, hot dog, hot dog, the kartag or whatever.
Some random Armenian phrase or something
about the Cold War.
I don't know what he's talking about.
But he wanted everyone to know
that he was very upset over the fact
that the dog came outside where he lives
because his owner chose for him to live there.
You know, the dog had more of a right to be there
than he did.
That's a rude thing to do
because he's a guest in that house.
And I don't care what culture you come from.
I don't care what you're raised with.
Fix that.
That's rude.
That's why people don't want you around
because you're just a rude person.
And again, I'm not saying you have to be a dog lover either.
I don't like dogs.
I don't like animals in general.
But you know what?
When I go to someone's house and they have those animals,
I'm not just like, gross.
Just like, hold on a second.
And just like kick the cat, kick the dog or something.
You understand?
Again, I'm not a big fan.
I'm just saying I'm going to treat the animals
who live in that house well.
You say, well, what if the dogs are just really aggressive?
Then don't go near it.
Brother Chevy had a scary dog one time.
He had a Rottweiler.
And that thing was terrifying.
And you know Brother Chevy's like, he's nice.
And I'm like, I'll just watch him from over here, though.
But I'm not going to be like, ugh.
I'm just like, oh, cool.
Well, I'm just going to look at him from over here.
Because I'm a guest in this house.
Don't be a person.
That's an extreme example.
But it's a true story, though.
It actually happened, OK?
And with no shame whatsoever.
So is it any coincidence that the same person
who stacks his pizzas all the way high
is also being disrespectful and complaining in someone's house
when they're a guest?
That's showing someone who's not charitable, right?
So be complimentary.
And you say, well, I don't like dogs.
And you just say, hey, that's a nice animal you got here.
You're happy with this animal.
That's great, you know?
And look, let's say, for example, you go to a house.
You go to Brother Hikes' house, and you just don't like cats.
You hate cats.
You don't want the worm.
You've heard all the stories.
You just despise cats.
You hate them.
You have this thing against you, a phobia or whatever it is,
just vitriol against cats, OK?
This is what you do, OK?
The cat comes, and he sits right next to you.
This is what you do.
You get up and go somewhere else.
You get up, and you're like, oh, hey, that's nice over here.
And then you just move.
You don't have to be vocal about the fact
that you hate the cat or something.
It's a very selfish, rude thing to do.
You're not a well-mannered person.
You need to learn some etiquette, OK?
And in fact, it's just not Christian at all.
And so respect personal spaces.
Number five, participate in the schedule the host has.
OK?
Games, songs, dinner, et cetera.
And on Friday, we're going to be singing, OK?
We have a piano.
We're going to be singing some hymns.
We're going to be playing some games.
Participate.
Offer help and be a servant in any way possible.
But I will say this.
Sometimes when you go to a host or someone invites you
over to their house, you might ask someone, can I help?
And they might say no.
So the best thing to do is actually be a guest who
understands social cues.
You understand there's a need that needs to be met.
You can help out in that area.
And sometimes you just need to take the initiative
to help in that area, OK?
Here's another thing.
Don't come empty-handed.
Ask if you could bring something.
If your host says no, bring a candle or anything,
just a little small gift.
This is actually something that the previous generation
used to practice all the time.
Any time they were invited into a home,
they would bring a small little plant if they were asked
not to bring anything, or a little candle,
just as a courtesy, OK?
Here's another thing is greet the guest of honor, OK?
Now, this is important.
Let's talk about a birthday, for example.
When you go to a birthday, children,
go greet the birthday person.
Adults, go first greet the person whose birthday it is,
OK?
Now, why do I say that?
Well, I remember growing up.
And I come from a Hispanic home.
And Hispanics often use birthdays
as an excuse to party.
They don't care whose birthday it is, right?
How do you know that?
True story, right?
I literally remember having birthdays
and just scores of people coming to my birthday
and didn't even know it was my birthday.
And one time, someone came, and I'm like,
you got a present for me?
And they're like, oh, I didn't know it was your birthday.
Oh, happy birthday.
And it's just like when they walk in and go party
or something.
That's a super rude thing to do.
You know, be a person who goes to the guest of honor,
whether it's a graduation, it's a birthday party.
Teach your children when they get there,
they don't just run off to go play.
Go say happy birthday.
Go say congratulations.
We're going there to honor the guest, OK?
Here's the next one.
Don't overindulge, OK?
Be moderate and understand and know social cues.
Let me explain what I mean by that
when I talk about overindulging.
You go to a place and the food is just bomb.
Everything is just delicious, and you want seconds.
Here's the social cue you should be looking for first.
Did everyone else already eat?
Has everyone else already gotten a plate?
If so, go to the guest, or go to the host, excuse me,
and say, may I get some more?
Yeah, go for it.
Once you get your seconds, before you get your thirds,
understand the social cue that everyone else
already gets seconds, OK?
In other words, you have to kind of pay attention
to your surroundings, all right?
Understand social cues.
I'm almost done, all right?
Go to Proverbs chapter 25.
Number 10, compliment the host for a great meal,
great time, opening their home, et cetera.
Number 11, keep an eye on your children.
Don't let them run through the house,
get into things, overindulge, waste food,
make an unreasonable mess, leave drinks everywhere.
Ask the host where they are welcome to play and socialize.
So when you get there, say, hey, is there
a place where the kids are playing?
And typically there is.
Just ask for that area so that you can direct them that way.
Number 12, clean up after yourself, OK?
If you're at someone's house and you have a plate
and you've eaten, you've overindulged, OK?
Make sure you throw your stuff away, all right?
You take your napkins, your cups or whatever, and say,
where's the trash can?
Where can I put this?
And here's the thing.
If you want to be a little extra of a blessing,
a really good guest, you throw away the trash and say,
can I throw this out for you?
You take the bag, you say, where is the dumpster?
Where is the trash can so I can throw this out?
That's a big blessing, OK?
You're going the second mile there.
All right, here's the last part, all right?
So you guys won't be mad at me anymore.
And who knows who will come on Friday?
By the way, this is not things you have to do at my house.
I'm not going to be like, huh, you know?
I'm not paying attention to this stuff.
Because here's the thing.
When it comes to a host, OK, and I
believe this firmly, I have these things.
But once we have an event, this stuff
goes out the window in my mind.
I'm not waiting for you to do these things, OK?
I'm not like, why are you laughing for the hike?
Because he does wait for them to do it.
I'm not like, I don't have a checkbox
to see if you're doing these things.
Because I don't want people to feel
uncomfortable at my house like they have to do this.
I'm laying this out for just any event, period, OK?
When you're at my house, my casa su casa.
But don't worry, I'm locking the doors, though.
All right, here's the last one, very important.
Don't overstay your welcome unless the host makes it
abundantly clear to stay longer, OK?
Abundantly clear.
Because see, a host doesn't want to be rude.
So you know a host will often say,
you guys can stay as long as you want.
Because they don't want to be rude.
But let me just tell you this.
If they're saying that, wait for this phrase.
Yeah, I'm getting tired.
Or something to that effect, that means like, OK,
it's time to go, OK?
And it's important for you to just follow the social cues,
OK?
If you see that people are leaving, trickling out,
it's 10 o'clock, 11 o'clock, and you're like the last one left.
And the family has gone to bed.
And get out.
Get out!
OK?
And so if you want to be invited back to people's homes,
don't overstay your welcome.
And obviously, it's important for the host
to communicate what time it starts, what time it ends.
But here's the thing.
Obviously, there's instances where
the host may designate a specific time,
but then the part is just so good.
The fellowship is just so awesome that we just
lose track of time, right?
And it's just like, oh, wow, it's pretty late or whatever.
But once you start seeing the main people,
like the host family, start trickling upstairs,
they're going to bed, they're getting ready, OK,
now it's time to kind of wrap it up, OK?
And so look what it says in Proverbs 25 or 17.
Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbor's house,
lest he be weary of thee, and so hate thee.
You know what that means?
Get out.
Stop being a nuisance.
It's just like, it's time for you to go.
It's just like, people are already tired of you, OK?
Don't be that person.
Be a hospitable host, but also be a hospitable guest as well,
OK?
And so that is it.
I'll see you guys on Friday.
No, I'm just kidding.
Let's pray.
Father, we thank you so much for your word, Lord.
Thank you for the principles thereof.
Help us as your people to love hospitality.
Help us to be given to hospitality, Lord,
and to enjoy with sincerity, having people over to our homes,
buying the meals, just favoring them, Lord.
And Lord, I pray that you'd help us to do so.
Maybe there's people here who they're just not used to that.
They weren't raised with that type of mentality.
But, Lord, this is something you require of us as good Christian virtue is to be hospitable
with the things that we have and the things that you've given to us.
And I pray that you bless us as we go on our way.
Lord, we love you.
We thank you for these things in Jesus name.
Amen.