["Pomp and Circumstance"]
Good evening. So now we're in Philippians chapter 2.
Philippians chapter 2, the Bible reads,
who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God,
but made himself of no reputation and took upon himself the form of a servant
and was made in the likeness of men.
Being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself
and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross,
wherefore God also hath highly exalted him
and given him a name which is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow of things in heaven
and things in earth and things under the earth,
and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord
to the glory of God the Father.
Wherefore, my beloved, as you've always obeyed,
not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence,
work out your own salvation with fear and trembling,
for it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.
Do all things without murmurings and disputings,
as you may be blameless and harmless the sons of God without rebuke
in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation
among whom ye shine as lights in the world,
holding forth the word of life, that I may rejoice in the day of Christ,
that I have not run in vain, neither labored in vain.
Yea, and if I be offered upon the sacrifice and service of your faith,
I joy and rejoice with you all.
For the same cause also do ye joy and rejoice with me.
But I trust in the Lord Jesus to send Timotheus shortly unto you,
that I also may be of a good comfort when I know your state,
for I have no man like-minded who will naturally care for your state.
For all seek their own, not the things which are Jesus Christ's.
But you know the proof of him, that as a son with the Father
he hath served with me in the gospel.
Him, therefore, I hope to send presently so soon
as I shall see how it will go with me.
But I trust in the Lord that I also myself shall come shortly.
Yet I suppose it necessary to send to you Aphroditeus, my brother,
and my companion in labor and fellow soldier,
but your messenger and he that ministered to my wants.
For he longed after you all, and was full of heaviness,
because that ye heard that he had been sick.
For indeed he was sick nigh unto death, but God had mercy on him,
and not on him only, but on me also, lest I should have sorrow upon sorrow.
I sent him therefore the more carefully that, when ye see him again,
ye may rejoice, and that I may be less sorrowful.
Receive him therefore in the Lord with all gladness, and hold such in reputation,
because for the work of Christ he was nigh unto death,
not regarding his life, to supply your lack of service toward me.
Let's pray, dear Lord God, just thank you for this service,
that you've let us all come here safely, Lord,
and we just thank you for this church you've given us.
We thank you for pastor and pray that you bless him right now
and fill him with boldness in the Holy Spirit, Lord,
as he preaches unto us your word, and that us and the congregation
can be edified by the preaching and come away from this service change, Lord.
We pray this all in Jesus' name. Amen.
Amen.
Okay, we're in Philippians chapter 2 this evening,
and look down at your Bibles at verse number 1.
We're going to read the first four verses real quick.
It says, Therefore any consolation in Christ, any comfort of love,
if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies,
fulfill ye my joy thee, be like-minded, having the same love,
being of one accord, of one mind.
And I want you to notice these next two verses here.
It says, Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory,
but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.
Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.
And what I'm going to preach on this evening is manners and etiquette in church.
Manners and etiquette in church.
In fact, this is going to be a three-part series.
I'm going to talk about manners and etiquette in church,
manners and etiquette in your family, and then manners and etiquette in public.
And tonight we're just going to go over the church, okay?
How to have manners and etiquette in church.
Now, I'm going to be really frank with you.
I'm going to give you some scripture in the very beginning,
but all my points, none of them have scripture, okay?
And the reason for that is because I'm speaking by permission and not of commandment, okay?
And people can obviously point to my sermon and say,
Where is that in the Bible?
And quite frankly, I could extrapolate some principles from the verses in the Bible to prove each point,
but I expect you to just have the spiritual maturity that what I'm showing you is our biblical principles.
And at the end of the day, really what I'm teaching you this evening is the principle of just preferring others over yourself, right?
Manners and etiquette is you esteeming others better than yourselves.
Sometimes it's inconveniencing yourself for the sake of others, okay?
And we want to make sure that we have manners and etiquette.
It's a proper thing.
The base principle in that regard is that we look not every man on his own things, but every man on the things of others.
Now, let me also say this is that I'm not trying to offend you tonight,
and I know some of the stuff that I'm going to say is probably funny to some of you,
and we're going to share some laughs, and we're going to have a good time tonight.
But obviously, there might be some people here who are offended at what I'm going to say.
And my intention is not to offend you.
I'm not trying to just fill up a sermon with these points.
And I get it that some in our church maybe didn't grow up being taught these things, okay?
Maybe your parents or whoever raised you and the environment that you grew up in,
you didn't have influences in your life that taught you these things.
And quite frankly, you just need someone to teach you these things, okay?
You know what church is about?
It's about learning how to be a Christian.
It's about learning the Bible.
And it's about just learning a manner of life, you understand?
And sometimes Christians, they get saved.
They learn the Bible.
They come to church.
And thankfully, you're in a church that teaches you a manner of living as well,
not just doctrine, not just Bible, not just how to preach the gospel,
but also how to live in such a way that you are preferring others over yourself,
living self-sacrificially for the sake of others, okay?
And so even though I'm speaking by permission and not of commandment,
I do believe I have the Spirit of God, okay?
And so as the, quote-unquote, bishop of the church,
one of my jobs is to administrate the church, create operations in the church
so our church can run more effectively, efficiently,
and to teach others how to behave themselves in the house of God.
Go to 1 Corinthians chapter 10, if you would, 1 Corinthians chapter 10.
Let me read to you a couple more verses here before I get into my list of grievances.
No, I'm just kidding.
Matthew chapter 7, there's always a little bit of truth in my jokes, amen.
Matthew 7 verse 12 says this,
Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you,
do ye even so to them, for this is the law and the prophets.
Treat others the way you would want to be treated is what it's telling us there, right?
Not only that, but the Bible also tells us in Colossians chapter 3 verse 17,
And whatsoever ye do in word or in deed,
do all in the name of the Lord Jesus,
giving thanks to God and the Father by him.
So the principles I'm teaching tonight, I'm encouraging you to do
because of the fact that everything that we do should be for the glory of God.
It should do in such a way that we want to please the Lord Jesus Christ,
and we should view the brothers and sisters in Christ in church
as though they are the Lord, right?
That we're doing it as unto the Lord.
So these things that I'm teaching you tonight are things that,
in your mind, you kind of need to do them and execute them with God in mind
that you're doing it as unto Christ.
1 Corinthians 10 23 says this,
All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient.
All things are lawful for me, but all things edify not.
You say, well, I don't need to obey these rules.
That's not in the Bible.
I don't see that in the word of God.
These things are lawful for me to do.
Yeah, but here's the thing, though. Are they expedient, though?
And yeah, they're lawful for you, but do they edify the brethren, right?
Because at the end of the day, you know,
we don't want to use our liberty as an occasion to the flesh,
but by love, serve one another, the Bible says.
Verse 24 says, Let no man seek his own, but every man another's wealth.
Sounds to me like the Bible wants us to keep others in mind when we serve,
when we live life, when we have our manner of living,
we should take others into consideration.
Look at verse 31.
Very similar to what we see in Colossians chapter 3, it says in verse 31,
Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.
Following up by verse 32 says, Give none offense,
neither to the Jews, nor to the Gentiles, nor to the church of God.
In other words, I'm trying to teach you tonight how not to offend people in church.
Manners in etiquette is a manner in which you can not be offensive to your brothers and sisters in Christ,
whom you love, right?
Whom the Lord loves, and by preferring them, you are essentially fulfilling this task of doing all things to the glory of God.
It says in verse 33, Even as I please all men in all things,
not seeking mine own profit, but the profit of many, that they may be saved, the Bible says.
And the last verse here in 1 Corinthians chapter 14 verse 40 says,
Let all things be done decently and in order, the Bible tells us.
One last verse actually, go to 1 Thessalonians chapter 2.
1 Thessalonians chapter 2, 1 Thessalonians chapter number 2,
and verse number 10 says this, 1 Thessalonians 2 verse 10,
Ye are witnesses, and God also, how holily and justly and unblameably we behaved ourselves among you that believe.
As you know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father doth his children.
And what I'm going to do tonight, I'm going to speak to you as a father, okay?
And so I don't want you to be offended at me, I don't want you to be angry at me.
Take this as an instruction or as an admonishment as a spiritual father to you as spiritual children, so to speak, okay?
He says that you would walk worthy of God who hath called you into his kingdom and glory.
Now I will say this is that a lot of what I'm addressing this evening has to do with the fact that we face some challenges as a family integrated church, okay?
And that's okay, we're going to have a lot of challenges, but we still need to exercise biblical principles, manners and etiquette.
And I hope that when you listen to the sermon and you write some notes down, because I'm sure everyone's going to want to write some notes down, or at least the parts that you're guilty of, amen?
I hope you actually take it serious, okay?
Now a sermon like this, I've actually preached a couple times in times past, and if you don't remember, then, you know, it kind of shows you why I got to preach it again, all right?
And so let's get into it, we're going to talk about manners and etiquette in church, and I'm going to break it up into three parts.
It's not going to be a long sermon, because I don't have a lot of verses for these, but we're going to talk about before church, during church, and after church.
Manners and etiquette before church, during church, which is what we're doing right now, and after church, so let's get into it.
Number one, let me just give you some instructions as a spiritual father to the church here.
Number one, be on time for services, especially if you have responsibilities.
You see, part of being someone who is preferring others more than yourself is that your punctuality says, do you care for the time of others?
If people are willing to come here early to fulfill a responsibility, you should be willing to also show up because you're using or wasting their time.
Be a punctual person, and by the way, when I say be on time, being on time is what? Early, okay?
So let's say, let's just throw out practice, for example, and I'm not part of the music ministry, and so that's not my department, I just pastor the church, I preach the sermons,
and make sure you guys ain't doing nothing liberal, okay?
But you know, let's just say practice time. You know, if practice time is at 9.30, which I don't know, I'm just throwing that out there,
that means you should probably be at church no later than 9.15, at least 15 minutes early, 30 minutes preferably, but 15 minutes early, okay?
If church starts at 10.30, okay, you should be at church 15 minutes before that or 30 minutes at the most, especially if you have responsibilities.
And I've always learned that if you're gonna be late to something in which you have a responsibility for, where people are depending on you, okay?
They are relying upon your punctuality. They are relying on your tasks. They're relying to execute that, you know, and if you can't make it on time, this is what you do.
You contact the person in charge ahead of time. Not, listen to this, five minutes before the service, okay, or five minutes before whatever.
Contact them ahead of time. Hey, I got a flat tire. Hey, I'm actually projectile vomiting right now. You know, I got this going on.
I'm not gonna be able to make it. Obviously, preferably a day before, if you know a day before, then you're not gonna be there.
Take your responsibilities serious, and by serious, I mean take other people into consideration that your absence affects everything else.
And listen to me, if you don't want people to be frustrated with you, and if you don't want to be a grief to your ministry, one thing you can change is right off the bat, just be punctual.
Because everyone appreciates a punctual person, okay? And a punctual person covers a multitude of sins. In fact, maybe you might not be, I can't think of right now, everyone who plays whatever instrument,
but maybe you don't play the best in the orchestra, which I think all the orchestra players are fantastic, okay? Very good. You guys do well. It's the best I've ever heard, you know?
But let's say you don't play as well or something, but if you're a punctual person, that means you're a reliable individual. People are willing to overlook a lot of flaws if you are punctual.
And why? Because it shows you actually care for the time of others, okay? But if you're consistently late, if you're consistently coming not early, you're not on time, you're always late, you're never notifying people, then that just shows that you're not necessarily a charitable person to work with.
Why? Because you're not taking other people into consideration, okay? So be on time to services, especially if you have responsibilities. Being on time means be early, make punctuality a priority, be considerate of other people's times, okay?
And, you know, I appreciate people who are on time, there's people who are here in our church an hour and a half before, two hours even before, I mean, they want to make sure they beat traffic, you're like, well, I just had traffic, then we need to plan for the traffic.
And I'm not saying that you can't be late every once in a while, because we're all late every once in a while, there's certain things we just can't foresee, things happen, we're talking about making it your character where you're stigmatized as being a late person, okay?
Amen? Here's the next thing regarding that, is be in service when it starts, not outside talking to the doorkeeper. And what I mean by the service, I don't mean by the preaching, just the preaching, I'm talking about the singing.
Everyone should be in here, ready to sing, not out there talking to the head usher, not out there talking to the doorkeeper and chopping it up, you should be in the service, singing with everyone else, okay?
Greet the brethren, here's the next point, greet the brethren and especially visitors. Obviously, we don't expect everyone in our church to be an extrovert, okay? But just be Christian.
And the Christian thing to do is just go greet people, you know? You say, well, I just feel embarrassed because I know that this person has been coming here for over a year and I don't know their name.
Well, now you have something to talk to them about. Like, you know, I've actually never got your name and I never got to meet you and I apologize for that, what's your name? And you might end up being best friends or something, okay?
Be a person who's greeting the brethren, especially the visitors, and I'm not asking you to be an extrovert, I'm not asking you to be super social, a social butterfly, just asking you to be a Christian.
And a Christian is warm, friendly, a person who loves other people and is excited to see the brethren but also excited to see new people in church.
And so you see a visitor sitting by themselves, they're not talking to anybody, be a Christian and go talk to them, okay? And go make them feel welcome and so on and so forth, okay?
So be on time, since the guys are coming in right now, let me go over these points, guys, all right? They're not late, they're recounting, so just let you know. Everyone's like, man, he's calling them out.
Be on time to services, especially if you have responsibilities. Being on time means be early, make punctuality a priority, be considerate of other people's times, be in the service when it starts, not outside talking to the doorkeeper.
Greet the brethren, especially visitors. Here's another point, we're talking about before church, respect the ushers' ministry. Don't despise the ushers. Listen to the ushers, okay?
They're there to help me with the organization of the service. Don't disdain them, listen to them. Hey, let me just let you down something. You know, if an usher goes out of the way to seat you, your family, or you as an individual, don't just wave them off.
Who are you? That's rude. Be someone who respects authority, respects the organization and administration of our church. Respect the operation of our church. Well, I'm here for the preaching of God's word.
So, okay, so what, you just can't sit where people tell you to sit or something? Well, what does that have to do with anything? People who sat in the area that was designated for them from the usher are also here to hear the preaching of God's word.
Why don't you just be a good little Christian and be a team player and help us keep this thing organized? Now, I don't want ushers being rude to you, so if they are rude to you, come tell me, right?
But I don't think we have rude ushers. I think we have very kind, loving ushers, organized ushers, and you know, I don't want to have vindictive ushers or something like that.
And so, if you're a vindictive usher, then you need to get right with God and not be that way and just allow yourself to be defrauded. And even after the sermon, if whatever person continues to be rude to you, just let them be rude to you and still be kind to them anyways and just keep coals of fire on their head.
But I would hope that this would be your reminder to be kind to the ushers and respect what we got going on here because we're trying to keep ordering the service, okay? Don't just wave them off.
If they tell you, can you hold on one second? Let me find a seat for you guys. Don't just be like, psssh, and just like walk ahead of them or something. Go sit when they tell you to sit. Just wait. You say, why?
Well, because of the fact that, you know, the ushers are not just doing that just to keep it first class. They're doing it because we have large families in our church. Because we have large families in our church, we want the families to sit together, and it doesn't help when you just sit in a row all by yourself in the middle or something.
And then you have to be told to go to a lower place, you know, because the family comes and is like, hey, we need this row for the family. You could have avoided that if you just sat with the usher told you to sit, okay? I don't like this sermon. Well, too bad, you know?
Just take the instruction. Be wise. Take the instruction. It's not that bad. Relax. You know, I'm just telling you to listen to people, to submit to the authorities in the church, et cetera, okay?
So that's before service, and we're still talking about before service here. So be on time. Let's talk about cleanliness, okay? Shower and brush your teeth before coming to church.
Hey, man, take a shower, whether the night before or the day of, sometime before the service, though, in close proximity to the service, okay? And be aware, be aware, listen to me, be aware of your smell, okay?
And let me say this, use deodorant. I'm being dead serious. And as a father, as a spiritual father to you, can I just say this? Dare I say this? I've smelled some of you.
And let me say this. You offend me by your smell. Did I overstep my boundaries? Oops, too late. But you know what? Go get some Old Spice or something, deodorant, or go get some aluminum with some aluminum in it. Do whatever you can.
Rub some cumin on there, some myrrh, aloe, whatever you got to do. And obviously, that's like a quick fix. Another way to fix it is just fix your diet, right?
But let's say you just want to keep eating junk food. That's perfectly fine. I get it. Junk food is tasty. But then shower and wear deodorant, okay?
Well, I'm all natural. Well, your natural body is offending my spiritual body. And you know what? We have a very kind church because I know some of you are offended of some of the odors. I know you are.
And you have not said anything to those people. And I commend you for that because you don't want to be rude. So I'm saying it for you, okay?
I know we're getting personal here. But hey, wear deodorant. And be aware if you smell it or not. That's super important. Sometimes people lack some of these things because of the fact that they just were never taught.
And they don't realize that they smell. Okay? So maybe if you're listening to this, you're like, man, is he talking about me? I don't know if I smell it or not.
Well, just to be safe, just put on deodorant. Just to be safe, make sure you take a shower beforehand. Be a clean person. Are we good? Brush your teeth. Clean your teeth and use mints in case of bad breath.
Now, look, I'm up here preaching for an hour, two hours on Sunday. I know my breath can smell because I'm just constantly talking. So I literally carry a pocket of cough drops with me for when I'm done because I don't want to offend people with my breath.
Because I know that that's a possibility. And so be considerate of others. And if that's what you got, chew some gum, take mints, do what you can to make sure your breath is not offensive.
Okay? We're still talking about cleanliness here. Let me just say it. I'm going to say it. Use Q-tips for your ears. Maybe your mom or your dad didn't teach you, but I'm teaching you right now.
Okay? Son, clean your ears. Before you go to church, they're not very expensive. Well, I need the wax in my ear because it's really good for the... Yeah, but it looks disgusting when the stuff is just hanging out of your ears, though.
You can leave some in there if you want, but can we clear it out, though? Just a tad. And you know, I'm so sick of this healthier than now, these naturalistic, healthier than now people, where you're just so natural that you actually...
It actually exceeds the boundary of just being charitable, and it's just nasty. And look, maybe you're never taught to clean your ears. I get it. You know? But now you're being taught. Okay? Grab a Q-tip. I'm not saying shove it all the way in. That's not good.
But make sure... I know this is gross, but hey, in church, you get taught a lot of things, man. We're perfecting you in the faith. You just take that Q-tip, and you clean it out. You make sure you get all the chunks out. And I'm sorry. I know. I'm not trying to be nasty here, but you will have to hear it, though.
And look, maybe you don't know that you had that in your ear. I get it. So you go to your closest friend in church and say, bro, I need you to tell me the truth. I need you to tell me the truth, bro. Look at my ear and tell me. Now look me in the eye. Look me in the ear and let me know, is my ear offensive? Like, yeah, bro, you got potatoes growing in there. Then clean it.
And I'm talking to the guys, obviously. I'm talking to the men in that regard. I'm sure, ladies, you got that taken care of, hopefully.
Next one. Wear clean clothes. Be presentable at church. This is God's house, not your living room. Don't come in pajamas at church. I know you got better clothes than that. You wouldn't show up to your job like that.
This is God's house. I'm not telling you that you have to wear a shirt and tie and a suit and just be GQ'd out or something like that. Everyone has their best, though. They're Sunday's best.
And you know what? I don't agree with this lax environment, by the way, which is a very liberal thing. You can come in your sandals and you come in your shorts and you come in your pajamas to church.
That's a very liberal mindset. That's what the liberal churches do. This is God's house. We should be dressed as presentable as we possibly can. Put your Sunday's best on and come to church.
Let me also say this. Wear shoes at all times. Please don't be barefoot in our church. Now, you may not have foot fungus. You may not be like Asa.
Let me say this. We're taking other people into consideration, though, because your neighbors don't know that you don't have foot fungus. And your neighbor might be offended at that.
And so wear shoes when you come to church. I don't know how else to say that. Don't be barefoot. Well, I'm a barefoot person. Then wear your Vivo barefoots, then.
Okay? Are we offended yet? Are you guys good? All right, not yet? Well, you will be. I'm about to get on you, Cody, next.
Next one, defer to families with little kids. Let them get in the door first, okay? And men learn, and I'm sure our men already know this, but learn to open the door for ladies, okay?
And don't just, I have to teach my kids this, that sometimes the door opens, and they're just like rushing through. I always tell them, stop. Let the ladies in, let the families in. Defer to the families in our church, okay?
Let me also say this, and I'm not going to look who's sitting back there. Oh, no, we're good. We're good. You know, leave the back seats open, back section open for families, okay?
If you're single, or you're with your wife, and it's just you guys, sit more towards the front, allow the back seats to be taken by the families. Why? Because we need that section so that they can, you know, streamline to the mother-baby room and the restrooms right there, okay?
And I'll get into that in just a bit. Don't be the person that the ushers already have characterized you as, as being the person who's just like, this person always sits in the back. We always have to tell them to get up and leave this open for the families. Just do it on your own, okay?
Next one, and obviously that I didn't have to do anything with cleaning this, but I need to mention that. Here's a big one. Wash your hands with soap after using the restroom and before you help serve.
Wash your hands. Look, and I have a tendency to kind of overly wash my hands. I'm just kind of, I'm not a germaphobe, but I'm borderline a germaphobe, but I'm constantly washing my hands, okay?
But especially if I go use the restroom. You're super offensive if you go use the restroom and you sprinkle your hands or you don't wash your hands at all. That's disgusting.
Wash your, and then you go out and you shake people's hands like that. That's disgusting. Have some dignity. Have some care for your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Don't be filthy like that. That's nasty.
Wash your hands in running water. We're in 2024. We've got soap that we can use. You can use, what's that called? Hand sanitizer. But do something, but wash your hands though.
Not just when you use the restroom, but also if you're about to serve, even if you haven't used the restroom. If you're involved in serving or touching things that other people are going to touch, that they're going to be eating, the number one thing you need to go do is go and you wash your hands.
And let me explain to you. When you wash your hands, okay? Obviously we don't have hot water in there. Sorry. We're trying to fix the plumbing right now. You don't have hot water. You get the soap and for about 10 seconds, okay?
Nice and hard. You scrub your hands and this is what you do. Once you're done washing your hands, you get a paper towel, you dry your hands, and you use the paper towel to open the door.
Is that crazy or is that, it's revolutionary? Folks, anytime I go to a public restroom, which I don't like to use public restrooms at all, you know, I just make, I just make believe everything has AIDS.
I'm using my feet. I'm just like kicking things. I'm a king, you know. I don't want to touch anything, okay?
And so wash your hands. Don't be a dirty person. Please be considerate of others and wash your hands. Make sure that you are a clean individual in that regard.
Flush the toilet, not with excessive toilet paper by the way, and dry up any messes you make on the sink or toilet, okay?
Flush the toilet. Let me say this. If you clog the toilet, don't just sneak out and don't tell anybody.
I know it's embarrassing, but you know what? It's inconsiderate for you to clog the toilet and not tell anybody about it.
This is, I'm preaching here, okay? Helping you. Leave places better than you found them or at least how you found them, okay?
So leave that restroom better than you found it or at least how you found it. Pick up trash in your rows.
So after service, if you're a coffee individual, make sure you're picking up your coffee cups. Make sure you're picking up your spills, your food, your bullets and paper.
Your section should be spotless. If you bring stuff with you, take it with you. If you leave stains on the floor, shame on you. Clean that up.
Well, it's job security for brother Ulysses Hernandez. That's wrong. Clean up after yourselves.
And look, I'm fixing to just stop doing birthday breakfasts anymore because all day today, all I saw was chocolate muffins all over the floor everywhere.
And you know what? Children, I'm getting on the children, but really I'm getting on the parents of the children for not teaching your children how to properly eat things.
And you know what? If my kids are guilty of that, you better come tell me because you know what? I got shame.
And my shame makes me want to help my kids not do that and discipline them for doing things like that because we don't just throw food on and just go pick up another muffin or something like that, okay?
You know, we had some people come to our church and they're like, Pastor, there's like a bunch of like muffins over here, like half-eaten muffins, you know, and you know what? New rule.
Kids can't just go get muffins now. Parents need to make sure they supervise their children and get the muffins for them.
Because they're just like, argh, argh. I literally walked through the church today and there was just like chocolate muffins everywhere.
And I couldn't have any chocolate muffins. Sad.
But you know what? That bothers me, though. When I'm walking through the church and I'm just seeing crumbs everywhere and like a full muffin that's been bitten twice, that's someone's kid, unless it's an adult who's doing that, which I highly doubt.
Let's just hope and pray that it wasn't an adult who did that.
And by the way, here's another thing. Okay, let's talk about adults eating muffins. Let's talk about adults eating period, okay?
Now we got new floors and praise God for these floors because this is a lot better and you know, when there's spills, they're easier to clean up.
They're not like carpets where you don't have all these stains and stuff, right?
But let me say this. If you're eating in here, because you know, we're in the New Testament now, you guys are able to eat and drink and be married for tomorrow, you die.
You can do all that. Pick up after yourself. If you're dropping food, pick up the food that you dropped.
When you dropped it, don't allow it to accumulate around you. That's filthy.
That's having a complete disregard. You know, if I'm eating something and I drop like a morsel, I'm like picking it up as I go.
Because I don't want to be like, well, I'll get all this once I'm done. Let me just scoot this all in. Sorry about that. You know, no manners, no etiquette.
If you're spilling food, pick it up as you're spilling it. Be a considerate person. Amen.
So that's before church. Okay, now let's talk about during church.
Let me first address children in the mother baby room. Number one, don't have loud conversations and distract others.
The mother baby room is still church, ladies. It's still church. I know you got it made over there with the rocking chairs and everything is great.
But you know what? You need to treat that as church. Okay? And make sure that you, along with your children, are paying attention in there.
And I get, there's little ones there, they get a little wild, and that's what it's for. But don't let your children just be wild and loud.
Obviously it's okay for one, two, or three year olds, you know, if they need to stretch out their legs, sometimes they yell. You can't control that.
Okay? But they don't need to be wild. And you know what? Parents, you need to teach your children how to behave themselves.
In church, in the mother baby room, take that as an opportunity to say, you're sitting down and you're paying attention.
Yeah, I do that, but then they throw a fit. Then they need to be disciplined.
And let me say this, it all kind of stems from the home too. You'll have a lot easier time disciplining your children here and showing your children character here if it's already being shown at home.
Okay? But ladies, you're watching me on the screen over there, don't talk in the mother baby room. Don't just have full blown conversations in there.
Talking about what's going on on Facebook or whatever. That's church! And there's people in there who want to listen to the preaching, you need to listen as well and treat that as church.
Okay? Be considerate, be mannered, and have the etiquette to be quiet in the mother baby room, teach your children how to sit in the mother baby room, and bring them back in at your discretion.
And when I say at your discretion, I'm referring to the fact when you think that they're ready to come back into the service, not to transfer the wildness into the service.
Alright, here's the next one. Don't let kids just yell during church and not quiet them down and take them out of the service.
Now look, kids yell. They love yelling. I have a five year old who just, he just has to yell sometimes.
He's like, even at home, he's like, ahhh. He just has to get it out. I get it. Okay? I really don't have a problem with that.
Because that's what kids do. You know, the problem I have is when parents don't do anything about it though. That's the issue I have.
When they're just like, ahhh, and the parents are just standing there looking at them. Teach your children not to just be indiscriminately loud.
You say, why? They're kids. Because there's other people in the service. And it's teaching them to be considerate of others. We don't just yell.
Okay? Now let me say this, you know, you have a kid yelling in the service, and I've said this before, and you know, it's perfectly fine.
And by the way, the other side of it, you know, some of you need to be a little more charitable towards people who have kids.
Okay? It's easy to be strict with people, you know what I mean, who have five kids, but they have five kids though. That's hard.
You know, three kids is hard, five kids is hard, six kids is hard. It's difficult. Cut them some slack. Okay? So I get that.
However, if you're the one with a bunch of kids, or if you have one kid that's just losing their mind, be considerate and speedily walk out of the service.
Please don't drag your feet. Or how about, let me say this, you know, if you're in church and your kid is screaming their head off, don't just stare at me.
I've had that. Where they're just kind of looking at me and everyone's, and you know what everyone does? Everyone starts looking in their direction.
I almost pointed. They start looking in their direction, and it's just like, do you get the hint? We need you to like walk out of the service.
And then an usher has to come and embarrass you and tell you you have to, but once you start heading out of the service, don't just
And then you're just kind of like slowly making your way to the mother-baby room or whatever room. Be considerate and put some pep in that step.
Okay? Because then it's like a yelling competition between me and the baby.
Along with this point, teach your children how to behave in the service. Okay? And here's a great way to do it, have a devotional time at home with your kids.
Teach them how to sit, not with an iPad, not with the phone. That's not teaching them. Not with the coloring book.
Okay? Teach them how to sit, to listen to Bible reading and to preaching. What's the point of having a family integrated church if you're actually not teaching them?
Look, folks, I know kids. There's kids in the old IFP in a Sunday school class who will behave better than some of the kids here.
Because they actually have someone telling them, you need to sit still. You know, parents, you need to teach your kids to sit still.
Okay? And pay attention. And again, don't let your children just yell indiscriminately, but also, let me also say this, don't let your children just eat loudly in church either.
Okay? I get it some kids need to eat or have a snack or something like that, but can we be considerate and not just open a bag of potato chips?
Right? Or the bag is just...
That's distracting and inconsiderate. I just offended like every family in the church. Oh well.
All right, let's talk about adults during the church. Everyone's amen-ing up until that point right there.
Let me say this, read the scriptures along with everyone else. If I'm asking you to turn to a passage of scripture, actually turn there.
And you know, sometimes I turn to a passage of scripture and I'm waiting for everyone, and then you got someone who's just staring blankly at me like...
I like it better when you read it, you know? You open up the Bible, give attendance to reading.
Please don't be so lazy that you're not willing to flip through the scriptures. Well, I already know that scripture, flip there anyway.
Open up the Bible and actually, and I get it, if you have kids, it's different, maybe you have to do it on your phone.
But if you don't have kids, or if your hands are free, there should be no reason why you're not opening up the Bible to go to the scripture.
Okay? And don't just give me a blank stare. Because sometimes I'm reading the scripture, and everyone's reading it with me, and then you have a couple of people just looking at me.
I'm thinking like, what, do you have like a modern version or something or what? You have like an NIV or NKJV or something?
Read the scriptures along. Be considerate. This is the house of God. You came here to read the Bible. You came here to hear about the Bible.
You brought a Bible. Why bring the Bible if you're not gonna open it? Is it just for looks? You being a little liberal?
If you're bringing a Bible, actually open it and see for yourself. Let me also say this. Sing along with everyone else.
Don't be outside while everyone else is singing in here. Okay? The singing is to prepare the heart for the preaching of God's word.
And sing. Sing loudly. Sing, you know, make a joyful noise. Okay? Here's the next one.
Don't get up during the service constantly. Oh, I didn't get that many e-mails on that one. That's weird. That's strange.
Could it be that just because so many people do that? It's like a thing. And when we first started the church, it was worse, obviously, back in the day.
Back in the day, it's just like people were just constantly getting, it's like they're watching a football game or something.
They're just gonna go grab a soda or some chips or something like that. Don't constantly get up.
Have the discipline to just sit down for an entire hour and just listen for the entire time.
And look, folks, if you have to, you know, you're like, well, I need a coffee. Get it beforehand.
And if you need a coffee during the break, you're probably way, you got other issues, actually. Okay?
But it's this thing where it's just like, it's constantly getting up. And most of the time, let me just be honest with you, you're just tired and you feel like you just need to get up.
No, just have the discipline to just sit there, keep your eyes open and listen to the preaching for the entire hour. Okay?
It's just like, well, I just got, no, you don't. You're an adult. You're an adult. You don't have to keep getting up.
Now, if there's other responsibilities you have, you know, there's a reason why you have to get up, that's a different story.
Moms sometimes have to do that. They have to take their little ones to the restroom. I get that. I'm not talking to you.
I'm talking about people who just get up just to go to the foyer. Just because, you know, because it's this Instagram society or they just constantly need something new going on.
It's like they just need to go to the foyer. They just need to get up. They just need to walk around.
No, just sit there for the entire hour and wait till the service is over and then get up. Okay?
Let me also say this. If there is a problem in the foyer with someone who's disgruntled, maybe there's some activity going on back there. Okay?
Let the ushers handle it. We don't need every guy to get up and go check out what's happening, you bunch of nosy people.
This is such a common thing in our church, where like something's happening and it's just like, and everyone knows that something's happening.
And then these are the guys. What are they doing? You know what they're doing? They're going to go watch. They're not participating. They're just nosy.
They're just going there to look and see what's going on. You're not providing any muscle. You're not going to help them carry them out.
You're just there to watch. You're just being nosy. You don't have to get up. And look, you create more controversy and more of a tumult by getting up and doing that.
And I don't care how authoritative you go back there either. You know, it's just like they have this walk about them so it doesn't look like, it looks like they're a part of it, right?
They're just like, look at you hike.
Let the ushers deal with it.
Brother Ruben and the rest of them, they got it under control. We don't need a bunch of busybodies back there. We need you to keep order in here.
And the way you keep order in here, stop looking at what's going on over there. Just entrust the ushers ministry that they know what they're doing.
And look, ushers, Brother Ruben, if you could help with this, okay? If you want ushers who are currently sitting in the auditorium to get out and help, they need to sit in the back so they're not constantly getting up if they're sitting in the front.
Listen, I'm looking at you, okay? We're getting personal here. I'm doing it out of love, brother, amen? I think he's a great usher. We just need to tweak that a little bit, okay?
Because we need, the service is the most important thing. Now what drama is going on out there? Amen.
We don't need all the men in the church to go see what's going on. And so keep that in mind. Here's the next one. This is during church. Don't slouch. Sit up straight.
You're in church. This is God's house. This is not your living room. There are recliners in here. Sit up straight, pay attention. Don't just like lean on the chair like someone used to do back in the day.
With their arms all in the chair like they're the kingpin or something.
All right, here's the next one. Don't sleep or yawn loudly. Obviously, don't sleep. And I can't keep you from yawning because if you're tired, you yawn in order to wake yourself up.
But can I just, you know, encourage you not to do it loudly? Can you not sound like a tyrannosaurus rex? Can you refrain from sounding like Chewbacca?
Just want everyone to know that you're tired of something? Have some decency. And really what you're doing is you're just calling attention to yourself.
You're distracting everyone else. And look, you say, oh, I'm not distracted. I know I see where everyone's eyes are going. They're just like...
This is extremely rude, okay? Keep yourself awake. Pinch yourself if you have to. Yes, if you need to stand up, then do so. But look, you should be able to endure an hour of preaching.
Here's another thing. Don't blurt out random statements during the preaching. Just don't preach with me.
That was a big thing back in the day, too. Or it's just like there's one sermon going on here and there's another sermon going on over there.
We don't need two preachers. That's called disorderly. Actually, the Bible actually forbids that.
No inside jokes during the preaching with your buddies. Very distracting. No inside jokes unless I'm involved.
Here's a big one. Listen to this. Don't be on your phone during the preaching. Now, look, if you're doing it to be on the Bible, that's one thing, but I just highly doubt that that's always the case.
You know, sometimes there's people who are in church that are also involved in the livestream comments of the current service that they're in.
That's inappropriate. You need to be all in here. Or they're on Google. Hey, PA guys, no Googling during church.
No looking up whatever during church. There's only two PA guys, so I just kind of. Sorry, Adam, but yeah.
No going on Instagram during church. No going on TikTok during church. Need I say this? No going on stories during church.
That's wild. You might as well just stay home and be on Instagram if that's you.
Can you just not be as addicted to Instagram and just stay away from it for at least? Can you not watch with me for one hour?
Put your phone on airplane mode. Turn your phone off. Is it really going to kill your followers if you're just not on there checking on their stories?
It's embarrassing. And it's honestly a disrespectful thing to do in the house of God.
Well, brother, I believe I could just be on my phone and read the Bible on the phone. Yeah, but some of you can't handle that, though.
There's too many options in that phone. You might as well just get a physical book of the Bible and use that instead.
And you know what? Sometimes it's actually superior to use a physical book because it actually teaches you how to look for the books of the Bible.
Whereas an app, you just type it in and it just shows up. But it's good for you to just have a Bible open so you know where to go.
We should minimize how long the pages are flipping when we're going to a specific passage because we should be knowledgeable where these books are, right?
Let me also say this. Don't have private conversations during the preaching. Okay, if you have an issue, if you have a problem, just wait until after service.
Designate this hour for the preaching of God's word while I'm dealing with an issue. Well, who knows if what you're going to hear in the preaching will actually help you with that issue.
Okay, don't deal with personal problems while you're at church during the preaching. Deal with them afterwards or beforehand.
But you drove all this way here to your preaching, right, because you've seen the word of God. Designate that time to do so.
Okay, here's the next one. Never walk out of church to grab a snack or get a coffee.
That's super disrespectful. Oh, man, but they got a two for one at the liquor store.
Never walk out of church to grab a snack or get a coffee. Have some self-control. Have some temperance about yourself.
Okay, here's the next one. Don't open up cans of drinks during service. Oh, man, I've been waiting to say this one for a while.
Okay, now this is a church. Can't say the brand. You don't want to say the brand. I'm just kidding. This is an energy drink church.
Okay, so there's always energy drinks in here. The fridge is always full of energy drinks. But let me let me instruct you on how to drink an energy drink.
You open it before the service, not when everything quiets down and the scriptures are about to be read.
And let's just say, I hope this isn't you, but let's just say you forget to do that and you just have to open it.
Do it quickly or cough when you open it. Don't do a three-part series.
You know, because in your attempt to not be as loud, you're actually making it louder.
And this has happened. Okay, and then sometimes I'm sitting right there and then Lucas is looking at me like, and I'm just like, I know this is embarrassing, but you know, do it, do it, do it before the service.
Okay, before the singing. Chug that thing down or open it beforehand, but don't do it during the preaching.
Children should not be watching Coco-Melon or playing video games during church. Coco-Melon! Teach them to pay attention in church. Teach them, help them to develop an appetite for spiritual things.
Okay, and that's a sermon for another day, but you know what? Sometimes our kids just have way too much screen time. Okay, and this is one of the reasons why they don't stay put.
So you're going to have to do the arduous task of not always placing the screen before them. How about just putting a book before them?
But that's a sermon for another day. Don't allow your children to color and destroy the song books.
I've seen way too many songs where they're just completely destroyed, and I know it's not adults who are doing it, because if it is, what are you doing coloring in the book?
You know, obviously you have the liberty to take some of those song books home, and I would think that if you colored that much into it, your kid used it that much, you might as well just take it home.
It's yours now! You're like using it to color. Folks, these song books belong to the church. If you want one, take one home, but be a good steward of the property here.
Here's a big one. So I said don't just get up randomly, but you know, maybe there's times where you're just like, I can't pay attention unless I use the restroom or something.
Like I gotta use the restroom. I get it. That's completely understandable. It happens. I'm just talking about people who get up randomly because they just can't stay put.
But if you use the restroom during the preaching, men use the one in the kitchen, ladies use the one in the back. I'm staying from using these right here to minimize distractions.
And let me also say this, turn off the lights before opening the door to exit. So let me just show you an example, okay?
So I have to use the restroom. I'm gonna use this one right here. Hey Adam, get off of Google.
So I'm in here, lights turned on, using the restroom, blah, blah, blah. Don't do this!
First of all, this is what you do. You turn off the light first before you exit. You know why? Because the fan's really loud, okay?
And by the way, don't do it when we're praying. If for some reason I'm in the restroom, okay, and I know that we're praying, I'll wait until the prayer is done and they're singing or whatever and then I come out.
But why just kind of just come out and just leave and don't turn off the lights? By the way, turn off the lights at home. I can't believe I'm hearing myself say this. My mom was right. She was on to something.
You know, turn off the light and then you open the door and then you exit quietly. But to just refrain from doing all that, just don't use these. Use the ones and then you can be as loud as you want.
Real simple. You say, why? It's just being considerate. And I can't tell you how many times the pee men are constantly having to go in there to turn off the light. Someone just walks out, they don't turn off the light, it's just super loud and it's just like they have to go in there and turn off the light and close the door for them.
But you know, you should be able to learn that, okay? And maybe we'll get those electric, you know, the tower dispensers or something, but you know, all you have to do is just kind of push that thing. You don't have to beat the snot out of that tower dispenser.
Clean up after yourselves. Cups, coffee, bulletin paper, etc. Okay? Make sense? Alright. So we talked about before church, we talked about during church, now the last part is after church. Okay? Let's talk about children, kids once again. Please pay attention, parents.
If your child hits, kicks, assaults another child, they need to be disciplined. And I don't want to have to tell you that. You should know that already. If not, they're not going to learn that it's wrong.
And look, when I'm at church, my wife is the primary disciplinarian because I got other responsibilities here. And so she knows she's responsible for that. And if my kids do that to you or to your kids, come and tell me or come and tell my wife, we will discipline our kids.
I will not pastor unruly kids. Okay? We want our kids to learn. And so we want them to learn that you can't just violate other kids like that. Discipline your children.
And along with that, please listen to me, learn how to properly discipline your children. Not out of anger or by provoking your children to wrath. Okay?
And you know what? I get it. Some of us didn't grow up in homes where maybe that was exemplified and we weren't taught. So you just kind of do it the way you think it's supposed to be done.
But you know what? We need to learn though. Okay? And you need to have some self-control and some temperance when you discipline your children.
And maybe some of us, you know, you can't discipline your children the way you're disciplined. I for sure can't because we were just disciplined different.
You have to learn how to do it with self-control, with temperance, on, you know, take the board of education, you know, and take it to the seat of whatever it is that I said before.
Okay? Spank them on the bottom. They need to learn. Okay? Properly discipline your children. You know, and let me just get personal here. Okay? This is important.
And I'm speaking as a spiritual father to the people of our church. Okay? I can't tell you how to run your home. I can't tell you how to discipline your children. And I'm not going to.
But you know, sometimes I see some stuff and I'm like, that's not a proper way to discipline your children. That's an improper way to do it. That's excessive. Okay? That's out of anger.
They're being angry or you're just losing control. You need to learn how to properly discipline your kids. And if you need to come ask me how to do it, come ask me.
I'm not going to embarrass you. I'm not going to shame you. We all have to learn. Okay? Amen? We're good? Yes or no?
If you see your child doing something dangerous, tell their parents, but don't try to parent other people's kids. Don't let kids snatch other kids' toys.
It's about being considerate. Amen? Don't allow kids to run through the church, especially when there's a big crowd of people.
And look, I get it. I have kids who just, and obviously, you know, in our church, there's like a night shift in our church. And it's not this group of people.
You know, when you're here until like 9, 10 o'clock, that's a different shift. Okay? And people who are here, they know that. There's like people who are here.
And I get it. The parents who are here that late, you know, our kids get a little crazy because they've been here all day.
But we're talking about after church, like immediately after church. When I see my kids running, you've seen me do it. If I'm talking to men or I'm talking to someone, I'll grab them and I'll say, don't run through here.
Adults are talking right here. Don't run through here. And I'll be quite honest with you. One of the reasons I do it is because I want your kids to hear me telling that to my kids.
Sometimes I'll severely correct my kids and I'll kind of, you know, by proxy correct your kids. And it works sometimes. I'm not correcting your kids, but they're listening when I'm correcting my kids.
And like, you know, I'll tell, I'll tell my son, Bruce, if I can't, and I'm not going to discipline your kids, but I'm like, if I catch you running through here again, you're going to get a spank because you should not be running through. And all the other kids are like, maybe we shouldn't run through here either. Yes. Okay.
We're like, well, we let our kids do that at home. Okay. What you do in your home is your business. You have every right to. But here, though, they need to show some respect.
Let me also say this. Kids should not be jumping around the chairs, moving rows, jumping around the chairs, just destroying church property. This is not their living room.
And let me get real personal here. You know, it drives me nuts when I come to church and there's just like a horde of children just like destroying church property, moving the rows, and parents don't do anything about it.
Teach your kids. We don't do this at church. This is not your house. Fix that chair. You don't just like run amok here and destroy it just because it's not yours or something.
We should have respect for God's house and, you know, and be considerate of others. Okay. Amen.
This is so uncomfortable to talk about. Teach your kids not to interrupt adults.
Okay. If adults are talking, I have to teach my kids this. They're like, Dad, I'm just like, I'm talking. You need to wait till I'm done talking.
Okay. Even if it's an emergency or whatever, they can wait. They're right there. But don't just allow them to interrupt adults when they're talking.
Teach children to say Mrs. and Brother. I don't like when my kids, sometimes they'll do it when they address people by first name basis in our church. I don't allow that.
They're addressing adults. They need to refer to them as Mrs. Kelly, Brother Adrian, Brother Cody, Mrs. Ashley, not Christian, TJ. That's not how we address adults.
I already mentioned this. Don't let your kids destroy church property. Have them open up their hymnal and open up the Bible for scripture reading if they can read.
Let me say this. Don't laugh off bad behavior. If your child is behaving badly, it's not funny. I don't think it's funny. You shouldn't think it's funny either.
Folks, if my kid acts, if they're misbehaving, I'm ashamed of that because I want my children to behave properly in all places.
I'm not just going to laugh at them and be like, yeah, that's just how they are. That's just what they do. That's an approach on you. That's essentially showing that you have bad parenting skills.
Now look, please don't misunderstand me. I'm not getting on you if you have wild children because we all do. Children are just wild by nature, right?
The problem is that the parents don't do anything about it. And so it's not funny if your child is behaving badly, if they're stealing, if they're lying, if they're hitting other people, if they're bullying people, if they're doing wrong things in the church.
It's not funny. We need to not develop a culture in our church that just laughs that off. That's not funny at all. Have shame.
I'll finish off on some funny points here, okay? Just to kind of bring some levity. And here's the end of it, okay?
If possible, and when there's a potluck, join in and bring something, amen?
But don't just be a taker. Even the single guys can bring things, you know, drinks, cupcakes, just go to the random store.
Don't pile on one kind of food, leaving nothing for others. Don't be like the dude that I was talking about this morning.
Where every time we had some sort of potluck, and look, the food is free here, but use not your liberty for the occasion to the flesh. Be considerate.
We would have like pizza and it's just like ten slices. Don't want to come back twice.
We had a men's meeting, had Armenian food. Just take all the beef sticks, bang. That's inappropriate. Be considerate.
And look, you're hungry, I get you. You like the food, amen. But you know there's other people who are hungry too. There's other people who want food.
I thought everything was free in this church. It is. But don't use your liberty for an occasion to the flesh to be a jerk.
Everything is free, but you know what? With great responsibility, with great power comes great responsibility.
Don't just stack your plate. Get what's sufficient. Don't be like the children of Israel.
They're just getting all kinds of manna and they can't eat most of it. Just get whatever's sufficient for you. Eat that and go back for seconds.
And in fact, don't get seconds when everyone hasn't even gotten their first.
You know, if you're like, I'm about to go get thirds, well has everyone else eaten though?
Well, I don't really care. I gotta get. And let me also say this, when it comes to potlucks, and obviously sometimes we just line up, but you should defer to the families.
What's the point that I'm making this evening? Well, this is just my list of grievances.
But you know, there are things that kind of help you, help us as a church to be more considerate of others.
And if you're new here, you know, you apply this too, okay? You know, don't be any of this, okay? Make sure you're abiding by these.
This is good manners and etiquette. And no one's perfect here. I'm not perfect. I've been guilty of some of this stuff.
We're not perfect, but our goal should be that we strive to be a well-mannered Christian.
And a Christian of etiquette, a well-mannered person that is not offensive to others because they're selfish, they're not thinking of others.
Hey, here's what you can walk away from the sermon thinking. You need to be a self-aware person, okay?
Just be aware of your surroundings. Be aware of what you're doing and not be offensive to others. Amen?
All right, let's pray. Father, we thank you so much for your word.
And thank you, Lord, for the principles that we can learn and extrapolate to make us better members of society.
Help us to do so. And I pray that the church tonight will take it to heart and not be offended.
I'm not picking on anybody. I'm just trying to help our church to be better-mannered in certain areas so that we can express the greatest commandments to them in a most effective way.
And I pray that you'd help us to do so, Lord, and be mindful of others, whether in their time, resources, no matter what we do here at church, Lord, help us to be others-minded.
And I pray you bless us as we go on our way, Lord. We love you. We thank you. Pray these things in Jesus' name. Amen.