chapter 2, 1st Peter chapter 2, and the Bible reads, "Wherefore, laying aside all
malice and all guile and hypocrisies and envies and all evil-speakings, as no more
babes desire the sincere milk of the word, she may grow thereby. If so be ye
have tasted that the Lord is gracious, to whom coming as unto a living stone,
disallowed indeed of men, but chosen of God and precious, ye also as lively stones
are built up a spiritual house and holy priesthood to offer up spiritual
sacrifices acceptable to God by Jesus Christ. Wherefore also is it contained
in the scripture, Behold I lay in Zion a chief cornerstone, elect, precious, and he
that believeth on him shall not be confounded. Unto ye therefore which
believe he is precious, but unto them which be disobedient, the stone which the
builders disallowed, the same is made the head of the corner, and a stone of
stumbling and a rock of offense, even to them which stumble at the word being
disobedient, were unto also they were appointed. But ye are chosen generation,
a royal priesthood, and a holy nation of peculiar people. That ye just show forth
the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light,
which in time past were not a people, but are now the people of God which had not
obtained mercy but now have obtained mercy. Dearly beloved, I beseech you as
strangers and pilgrims abstain from fleshly lust which war against the soul,
having your conversation honest among the Gentiles, that whereas they speak
against you as evildoers, they may by your good works which
they shall behold glorify God on the day of visitation. Submit yourself to every
ordinance of man for the Lord's sake, whether it be to the king as supreme or
under governors as unto them that are sent by him for the punishment of
evildoers and for the praise of them that do well. For so is the will of God
that with well-doing you may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men as
free and not using your liberty for a cloak of maliciousness but as the
servants of God. Honor all men, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king.
Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear, not only to the good and
gentle but also to the froward. For this is thank worthy if a man for conscious
toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully. For what glory is it if when
you be buffeted for your faults you shall take it patiently but if when you
do well and suffer for it you take it patiently this is acceptable with God.
For even hereunto were you called because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us
an example, that ye should follow his steps. Who did no sin, neither was Gile
found in his mouth. Who when he was reviled reviled not again, when he
suffered he threatened not, but committed himself to him that judgeth
righteously. Who his own self bear our sins in his own body on the tree, that we,
being dead to sins, should live under righteousness by whose stripes ye were
healed. For you were a sheep going astray but are now returned unto the
shepherd and bishop of your souls. Let's pray. Dear Lord God, thank you for your
word, Lord, that you've given unto us and we thank you for Pastor. We pray that
you fill him with the Holy Spirit as he preaches unto us the message that you've
prepared in his heart, Lord, and that us in the congregation could be edified by
the preaching. We pray this all in Jesus name. Amen. Amen. Okay, we're in 1st Peter
chapter number 2 and look down at verse number 11. It says, "Dearly beloved, I
beseech you as strangers and pilgrims abstain from fleshly lusts which war
against the soul. Have in your conversation honest among the Gentiles
that whereas they speak against you as evildoers, they may by your good
works which they shall behold glorify God in the day of visitation." And the
time I'm going to sermon this evening is make war not love. Make war not love. Of course
that should ring a bell with you. You know it's the hippie saying back in the
60s and 70s where they would say make love not war right. And obviously when I
talk about making war I'm not referring to physical warfare but rather spiritual
and when I talk about love I'm not referring to the biblical definition of
what love would be but rather this shallow superficial fake love
that the world promotes okay. And when the world talks about love between two
people it's often referring to as far as normal people are concerned it's often
referring to this act of fornication and that's what I want to talk about this
this evening is the subject of fornication and one of the reasons why I
want to preach on this tonight because I feel like every couple of months I have
to bring up this topic bring up the subject to make sure that people
understand where we stand as a church what the Bible says about fornication
and less we should think lightly of this particular sin less the people in our
church or even the young people in our church think it's okay to commit this
act because it's not the same as adultery or something like that it's
not like any other sin it's just two people who really like each other
getting physically involved and committing this act of fornication
whereas the Bible says that it is sinful it's unclean it's against the word of
God and we're gonna talk about that this evening now obviously there is a major
difference between fornication and adultery and unfortunately a lot of
people a lot of churches have a tendency to kind of mix both of these in and kind
of apply the same definition to both they often think that they're both sexual
sins and they're both essentially the same exact thing but they're not the
same exact thing adultery is when a person who is married steps outside of
marriage of their union the covenant they made with their spouse and has
sexual relations with another individual okay whereas fornication is to consent
and individuals who are not married committing the act of fornication having
sexual sexual intercourse one with another now even though they're both
wicked they're both very sinful the Bible actually instituted death penalty
for adultery in the Old Testament and one of the reasons for this because
adultery because it involves two people who are married it is essentially a
person breaking their covenant before God and thereby incurring the wrath of
God upon themselves God finds that very wicked abominable and sinful and even a
crime in the Bible punishable by death now you have people are like oh you
always talk about how sodomy is punishable by death what about adultery
yeah those you do murders punishable by death kidnapping is punishable by death
adulteries punishable by death I mean the bestialities punishable by death the
list goes on and on and on of things that God considers to be capital crimes
worthy of death and yes adultery falls into that category as well and you know
what my church and churches like ours talk about that all the time it's not
like oh it's only sodomy that's punishable by death but here's the
thing someone's got to say that sodomy is punishable by death though and it's
interesting how they always bring up oh how come you don't say adultery well
that's funny how come you know that adultery is punishable by death but you
don't know that sodomy is punishable by death so tell me why well I'll tell you
why because people have readily accepted you know that the Bible talks about
adultery but they're afraid to jump into the arena against sodomites
and against that which is abominable and filthy and perverse where the Bible
says that yes they deserve the death penalty as well
and obviously we're not saying that we should go out and commit acts of
violence against those who commit adultery
those who commit these capital crimes of sodomy and bestiality
we're saying that the government is responsible for things like that
and obviously we're never going to live in a world this side of eternity
where those punishments are being dished out
and those you know the death penalty is being instituted
but it doesn't mean we can't talk about it because the bible commands us to
preach the entire council of god and it's important that we talk about the
fact that the death penalty is instituted for adultery for sodomy
for rape for bestiality lest people should forget
what the perfect standard of god is and what god thinks about those particular
sins so adultery is punishable by death but
fornication is not and fornication in the bible was often
punishable by the man paying a dowry to the woman's father
and being essentially marrying that woman
making an honest woman out of that individual
that is what the bible prescribes now in the new testament
obviously that law didn't carry over because
you have christians living under the roman empire
you have them under a different set of rules different laws that did not
institute biblical laws but that's not to say that god still
holds that standard there right and at the end of the day
fornication even though it's not a crime it's still sinful
and the bible actually likens it unto uncleanness
now why would the bible call fornication to you know unclean why is
it considered unclean to commit fornication
well because of the fact that people who fornicate often have a variety of
partners that they're fornicating with they're not bound
by one person so they're kind of sleeping around being a whore
or a whoremonger and you know what happens when you sleep around you pick
up diseases you pick up stds you pick up sexual
venereal diseases that are unclean and that is the
punishment upon a society that embraces fornication
is that they will eventually fall prey to some sort of disease
herpes gonorrhea chlamydia and yes even hiv
things of that nature because that's the punishment for
allowing fornication to just run rampant in the nation so obviously
fornication not punishable by death but still equally sinful
and one of the things when it comes to fornication aside from the
uncleanness aspect of it it produces bastard children
okay and god is not pleased with that you know god wants children to be
a result of a holy union of two people who made a covenant
before god and the fruit of that holy union that's made a covenant before
the lord is children that's what god's will
is his will is not for a nation to just have
an entire society of bastard children that you know kind of sleep around
they're being whoremongers and whores and then the family unit is being
destroyed thereby you know god's will for all
individuals of course those who want to be married
is for them to get married to find a wife to find a husband
to create a family unit to have children to be fruitful and multiply
in that regard now let me give you a couple things here before we get into my
main points and let me start off by saying that
the christian life is characterized by warfare okay
and obviously i'm talking about fornication but just in general so that
means that we as christians need to be proactive
in fighting against these particular sins
whether it's in our own personal life or just talking about it just in general
you know we should be the ones who are aggressively
speaking out against fornication aggressively bringing ourselves under
subjection right and going into spiritual warfare
praying ourselves through it preaching about it talking about it
praying about it the bible tells us in first timothy chapter one you have to
turn there and verse 18 says this charge i
committed to the son timothy according to the prophecies which went
before on thee that thou by them mightest war a good
warfare the bible says in ephesians 6 10 finally my brethren be strong in the
lord and the power of his might put on the whole armor of god that ye may
be able to stand against the wiles of the devil for
we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities against
powers against the rulers of the darkness of
this world against spiritual wickedness in high places the bible tells us so
obviously a common theme of the new testament is
that we're supposed to be aggressively fighting against the devil
the world and yes even the flesh as well this is what's called spiritual
warfare and you think to yourself well duh you know isn't that what we're
supposed to do isn't that what christians are supposed to do
yeah but you know a lot of christians don't though they don't really care
they're kind of apathetic they're christian pacifist
they just kind of take it lying down they allow themselves to be tempted
they allow themselves to be put in situations where they can commit
adultery they can commit fornication they get
involved in sin why because they don't realize that they're in a spiritual
battle but once you realize this is spiritual warfare i need to be
vigilant i need to be sober minded i need to take these things seriously
they're not going to fall prey to the pitfalls
and the wiles of the devil as the bible puts it now turn one thing if you would
to first corinthians chapter number five first corinthians chapter five
i mentioned a couple of the consequences of fornication one of them being
unclean as diseases that you can contract by committing fornication
a second one would be bastard children you know having children out of wedlock
a more biblical term would be to have a bastard child
okay and even there's extreme cases in the bible where god just killed a bunch
of people you know the bible tells us the first
corinthians 10 you're in chapter five but i'm going to read to you from chapter 10
it says neither let us commit fornication as some of them committed
and fell in one day three and twenty thousand neither let us tempt christ as
some of them also tempted and were destroyed of serpents now
i don't believe that if you commit fornication you're just going to drop
dead right on the spot but do you really want to gamble with that
because it's definitely a possibility you know you see those you see those
reels where it's just like you know the chances of a cow killing
you are very low but never zero or something like that you
know and they always look at a cow and the cow is just looking he's like
there's always a possibility you know and you know what
you may not just drop dead from committing fornication because god just
stops your heart but there is a possibility and there's a
reason why god put that example first corinthians chapter 10
because he wants to strike fear in the hearts of people
not to go near fornication not to consider it or place themselves in a
position where they can potentially do it because you might die if you do so
okay you say well i know people who commit fornication and they didn't die
okay then you do you want to try it then you you want to be that one percent
possibility of dying but not only that you know committing fornication makes
you just a useless christian and you're not going to receive any
rewards in heaven the bible talks about those who are fornicators in
ephesians chapter 5 it says for this you know that no whoremonger
nor unclean person nor covetous man who was an idolater
have any inheritance in the kingdom of christ and of god
and i don't believe this is saying like they're not going to inherit the kingdom
of god it says they're not going to have any
inheritance in the kingdom of god because anybody who's saved goes to the
kingdom of god but hold on a second there's certain
individuals that essentially you know are getting involved
with the affairs of this life they're entangled with the affairs of
this life they're not warring according to the
prophecies that went on before them they're kind of giving into their lust
and their desires they're living a carnal fleshly life
you know if that person dies in that state they're not going to have anything
in the millennial reign and you know what that's a good
motivation for you that's a good motivation for me to stay clean amen
to make sure that we are living a righteous life
a life that is pleasing unto the lord and not give
him to the desires of the flesh and of the mind but here's another consequence
of fornication because you know old testament laws aren't necessarily
instituted in the new testament but you know we have
the example of the local new testament church in the new testament
and the the new testament church has the rule
that fornicators are not allowed in church okay
and we're talking about fornicators who are unwilling to repent
okay let me make that very clear now in first corinthians chapter five you have
just a very extreme example of this okay we think of fornication we think of
two people committing the act maybe they're young people
you know they're not married they're kind of shacking up their boyfriend and
girlfriend and they're living together and they're committing fornication
but first corinthians five gives us just a really extreme example
and that example is that there's a man it's commonly reported as this man
who's committing fornication essentially with his
father's wife okay now he's like well why would you why would they call that
fornication if that's his father's why wouldn't that be adultery
well obviously the implication here is that the father's dead
okay and i have i don't have time to develop this but basically
when two people are married according to the bible if one dies
the person who is alive is freed from the law of her husband or
or his wife in other words she's free to marry
and be the wife of another person he's free to marry if he's the one who lives
Etc and so it wouldn't necessarily be considered adultery because she's not necessarily married but in
Previously when his father was alive that was his wife. Okay, very weird situation. So she hits is like basically
It's almost like a stepmom. Okay, so his father's dead mother's alive and he's committing fornication
With this one very disgusting just perverse, you know now that's not the worst part
The worst part is they're in church and that's not even the worst part. The worst part is everyone knows about it
Because it says it is commonly reported and the Apostle Paul is not even present at the church at Corinth
He's getting this second hand people are commonly reporting this and it's not like they have Instagram
They don't have you know social media. They don't have Facebook, you know
So wherever he is, he's getting this news from Corinth that this is being done and everyone's just kind of cool with it
They just don't really care and in fact the leaders at that church are kind of
Boasting in the fact that they're allowing them to stay in church because they're more loving than the Apostle Paul
They're glorying in the fact that they're allowing them to stay in church and you know what nothing has changed
Because today in 2024, I'm sure you have churches out there who have a ton of fornicators in their churches
They're committing the act of fornication the pastor knows about it. The leaders know about it, but they don't care
Oh, we just got to pray for them. We got to work with them
Yeah, but here's the thing is that as you do so they are living in rebellion against God
They're probably gonna produce bastard children. They're not living a life that's pleasing unto the Lord
So how long does that discipleship class take?
How long does it really take to bring up 1st Corinthians chapter 5 and says stop that stop acting like a bunch of dogs and
animals and
Actually, well, I'm gonna give you what the what the solutions are when it comes to this particular situation
But look what it says in verse number 9 in response to this man committed fornication
It says I wrote him to you in an epistle not to company with fornicators
You know not all together with the fornicators of this world or with the covetous or extortioners or with idolaters
For then must he needs go out of the world. What is he saying?
You know, you shouldn't have fornicators as your closest friends, but let's just be honest here
You work in the secular world. You have secular people around you
You're gonna be around people who are committing the act of fornication
We can't just get it. We can't be Amish about this whole thing and just go in the middle of nowhere in
Our attempts in our zeal to separate from fornicators
Okay, because it says then must he needs to go out of the world because the world is filled with fornicators
However, there is a solution and that is verse 11
But now I've written unto you not to keep company if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator
So when the Bible talks about a brother in this specific context, who is he talking about?
He's talking about a Christian someone who is saved or someone who claims to be saved
So if a person is a brother and they're committing fornication or they're being covetous or an idolater or
Railer or a drunkard or an extortion or listen to this was such in one no not to eat
Now why is he saying don't eat with the fornicator? Well, it's not because it's saying like hey, you can't share meals with this person
That's the only thing you can't do with them or something
He's given an extreme standard to kind of show you don't even be around them
You can't you shouldn't even be sitting at a table with that person
Eating a meal with them, which obviously has the connotation that you're having fellowship with them
You understand so he's saying if a brother is guilty of these particular sins
Then you should have no company with that individual
You know if you know someone from a different church who's committing the act of fornication
You shouldn't have company with that person okay, or if a person is not in church, and they're saved and they want to keep
Communications with you the Bible says don't have any company with that person if they're committing the act of fornication
That's what it clearly says there now. This is a great
This isn't the sermon, but this is great proof text that the universal church is garbage. Oh, we believe in the universal church
No, you're a Catholic or your Protestant light or your Catholic light and you call yourself a Protestant
You know because the Catholic Church believes in that universal church
But you know what this doesn't really work in the universal church now does it right because it's just like well
If I'm not gonna keep company with it. Well too late. You're in you're in the church
Anywhere you go is the church, right?
So he's saying don't eat with them don't fellowship with them don't keep company with them and we can add to that Matthew chapter 18
Let him be unto thee as a heathen man and as a publican. That's another way of saying you should treat that person like an
unsaved person heathen man and a publican is just another way of saying like a wicked unsaved individual in other words like
Stay away from me. It's like a leper in the Old Testament
Whereas just like I don't want that disease upon me God has commanded me to separate myself touch not the unclean thing
You know and stay away from those individuals and you know this sermon is not about these other sins here
but obviously if someone is a covetous individual meaning that all they do is talk about money or
You know all they're doing is flashing their luxury and they seem to be a very greedy
covetous individual
We shouldn't keep company with them either someone who's an idolater you know and this isn't very common here in the United States
But it is pretty common in other portions of the world where idolatry is rampant you go to their house
And they have all these idols and carved images
I was just we're not to have fellowship with a person like that a railer
You know we talked about that last week if someone is railing bringing a false
Accusation against not just the pastor but anybody in the church and they're commonly characterized by being a person who's just lying about individuals
But I says don't have company with that individual or a drunkard. So that means drunkards can't be in church either
They will what's your standard of drunkenness if you drink drink alcohol. That's what a drunkard is
Well, you know you what if they just you know take a drink of you know every Friday or just their social drinker
That's a drunkard according to the Bible. There is no you know
spectrum that the Bible gives us if the Bible says look not thou upon the wine when it is read and
It's telling us not even to look at it. And then you have people who are teetotallers or whatever. They're drinking it every Friday
They're having social gatherings and they drink then that's still considered a drunkard in my book
Extortioner, you know someone who tries to blackmail you and threaten you the Bible says don't eat with these people
These people don't belong in the congregation. He says verse 12 for what have I to do to judge them also that are without
Do not you judge them that are within but then that are without god judges
Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person. In other words, obviously there's christians who are fornicators out there
But you know, we can't do anything about that
But we can control what goes on in here and he says there that if anyone who's called a brother
Is committing these sins and more specifically if they're unrepentant of those sins
Then we need to put away from ourselves that wicked person. What does that call?
It's called excommunicating them from the congregation. Okay
Now here are the three options if you are involved in fornication or if people come to our church
Unknowingly, they're living together
They're boyfriend and girlfriend they're in a relationship
And they're getting involved in the sinful act of fornication
As the pastor, this is essentially what I do. Okay number one
You know, first of all, let me just say that i'm not the baptist police here
So i'm not just going around asking people. Hey, what's your name? Okay, what's your name?
Are you guys fornicating by any chance?
Just checking, you know, I do my job here, you know
I don't do that. That's weird, right? And you said well, then how are you gonna know?
Well until the lord reveals it or someone just comes to me and tells me and in fact in the years that i've been a pastor
You know either people come and tell me
Or it slips out of their mouth and they tell someone somehow just god just allows it to come to life
Okay, and I do believe that people should have a grace period and in other words, let's say you have a new, you know
A couple that's coming for you know, they came for the first time today or something
And there might be an indication that they're involved in fornication or something, you know
Because they live together which by the way in my book if you're living together, you're you're pretty much as good as guilty
Okay, so well, can you really say that they're guilty if they're living together if a dude and a woman are living together
It's just come on
But my grace period is from the time that they come to our church until the time they find out
either from the preaching or in conversation
That fornication is a sin worthy of excommunication. That's their grace period
Okay, so i'm not just on a witch hunt looking for people who are involved in this
But you know as I mentioned sometimes I got to preach on this just so we are all clear
On what the rules are here. So here are the three options
If you're involved in fornication get right get married or get out, okay
So one you can get right meaning you separate you're no longer together
If you're living together you move out or if you're not living together, but you're committing fornication then you abstain one from another
Basically, you break up right get right. Here's the better option get married put a ring on that finger
Make an honest woman out of her and stop being a little whoremonger and that's honestly the best option right there
Okay, because you know you have people who are together for years and you know, this is very common in hispanic culture
By the way, where you literally have like a man and a woman who've lived together for years
They have children they have a family and don't even say oh, yeah, this is my wife
But they're like legally not even married though and that happens a lot. Okay. Well that is implying, you know
The length of time that you've been together in fornication. It's not like you go through a certain time
And then once you reach like 20 years, you're married for sure
It's you got to go to the courthouse and go get those documents and go get legitimately married
And when I say married it doesn't mean that we have to have a ceremony here by the way we can
I'm talking about
Recognized by the state that you are getting married. You're making a covenant before god. It's a legal document
That's what you need to do. Okay, so get married and you know what once you get married
That's the best part right there now you're right in the eyes of god
You're in right standings with the lord and with the church and now god can like bless your union
He can bless you and your spouse you can move on
And you can live happily ever after so either you get right you get married or you get out
What does that mean?
You get thrown out of church for being unwilling to repent of your fornication and that's has been the case sometimes
In our church where i've talked to people and in my book
They're good people as far as like they're they're they love the lord. They're kind
They were good church members, but then you know, I just slipped out that they're involved in fornication
They're not like we committed fornication like it said something and it's just like are you guys living together?
It's like yeah, I was like, okay
I gotta talk to you guys and then you know, I I go over these rules and then they leave and they never come back
you know, and you know, they just can't seem to
Make the decision to either get married or or separate which is really weird
And so at that point we just tell them to get out now
Here's the thing is that a lot of modern churches will say well that's cultish
But how can that be cultish if cults keep people in right when we're trying to get people out
Now you say why would you want to kick them out?
Well number one the bible commands it because it says a little leaven leaven it the whole lump
So here's the problem if the pastor permits fornication to go unfettered in the church
Is that other people will find out about the fornication and it essentially gives permission for others to commit fornication
Then it gets permission for others to commit adultery then it gets permission for others to become drunkards
Then it gets permission for others to get divorced and it ends up just destroying the church as it becomes a cesspool of sin
Because it's not taking care of you understand what i'm saying
So this is the concept in first corinthians 5 that he says a little leaven leaven at the whole lump referring to that fornication
So if we don't remove that leaven from the congregation and become a holy lump it can permeate throughout the church
And it ends up destroying not just the next generation, but just the church in general god's judgment will be on that church
So whether people agree with me or not, it really doesn't really matter
Because you know, I don't want god to punish me and I want god's hand to be on us
I want to continue to see people saved and live righteously
And here's the question that I have for churches who don't agree with this, okay?
And that's why are you so against marriage?
Isn't that weird?
Like why are you so against us putting the stipulation that they should get married split up or go somewhere else?
Why would you be against that? You should be in favor of marriage
I mean the goal of coming to church is that you become a better husband a better wife a better christian
And that you're moving your way towards righteousness
Just being more obedient unto the lord
So get right get married or get out and of course that getting out the excommunication
Is a last resort if the couple just decides
You know in so many terms in so many words. We just want to keep fornicating. Okay
And it's just like we just don't agree with that
We we don't want to split up. We want to stay together and it's just like you guys can stay together
Just not here. So
Sayonara, you know time to go and i'll tell you why a lot of churches don't want to give that option
It's because to them the numbers the membership and the tithing is more important to them
Than the spiritual well-being of that of that couple understand they're willing to overlook a lot of things because of this right here
Okay
But at the end of the day, you know
It's better to have integrity
And you don't really care for people if you're not telling them these things
And it's important for me to say this as a pastor because we have a lot of young people in our church
Whether single or they're dating
And this needs to be clarified
In order for people to understand
Hey if you commit fornication you can end up contracting some sort of disease because god would just allow that
You can die you can birth bastard children or you can walk the hall of shame by getting kicked out of church if you refuse
to
You know stop fornicating or you refuse to get married and so
Very important now go to first corinthia or excuse me, uh, first thessalonians chapter four
First thessalonians chapter four the message is make war not love and we're not talking about this biblical definition of love
We're talking about what the world deems to be love. Well, we love each other and this is why
We are you know for lack of a better way of saying we're just we're making love one toward another
That's not real love though, you know, and you should be ashamed of yourself
By allowing yourself to commit that act that god has instituted only for married couples as a christian
As a christian, you should understand the bible and god expects for you
To esteem that physical act between a man and a woman only within the confines of marriage
And if you choose to do that outside of the confines of marriage before marriage
You're basically just using that woman and you know if you're that woman who's being used
That should tell you something about the dude doesn't really value you. He doesn't really love you
He just wants your body. He wants that physical intimate relationship
But he doesn't want to add commitment to that and that's wrong. That's wicked. That's sinful
It's not god's purpose. It's not god's will. Let me read to you from first corinthians chapter six
Let me give you three points this evening on how to deal with fornication
So that you don't commit fornication. Okay, and it's three simple points that I might veer off into other points
We'll see but point number one is this possess your vessel
Don't let your vessel possess you possess your vessel
Don't let your vessel possess you you say well i'm married
You know i'm not this this doesn't apply to me then you apply to your particular side of your struggle
Maybe you're a glutton or something. Okay, you're a glutton and you can't put down the spoon and you know
You just like eating a lot and and whatever then, you know possess your vessel
Don't let that food possess you amen the principle still applies but we're talking about in context of fornication
And speaking of food first corinthians 6 13 says meats for the belly and belly for meats
But god shall destroy both it and them now the body is not for fornication
But for the lord and the lord for the body
So he's saying look I created your belly to consume food and food is meant to be consumed by your belly
Those are basically they go hand in hand, right?
That's what her stomach is for but our body is not for fornication. It's not the same thing
The body is not for fornication fornication is not for the body your body as a single person is for the lord
Okay
Now look what it says in first first thessalonians chapter 4 verse 1 says furthermore than we beseech you brethren
And exhort you by the lord jesus that as you have received of us how you ought to walk and to please god
So you would have bound more and more for you know
What commandments we gave you by the lord jesus for this is the will of god even your sanctification that you should abstain
From fornication that every one of you should know how to possess his vessel
In sanctification and honor. What is he saying?
You know what? I'm not going to give you a 10-point outline on how to abstain from fornication
You need to learn how to possess your vessel in sanctification and honor because every man
Is tempted when he's drawn away of his own lust and entice the bible says
And obviously, you know, it's different for every individual, but you need to know what tempts you
You need to know what weaknesses you may have and teach yourself
Discipline yourself how to abstain from fornication if that's your temptation there
If that is your flaw if that is what you're drawn towards you need to learn how to control your body
Don't let your body control you now. Look obviously God made us in such a way that we are attracted to females, right?
I mean that's normal and God made us that way for a particular purpose so that when we get married
We're very attracted to our spouses and the result of that attraction babies
Okay
Forward all the way to babies. That's how it works
You understand and obviously there's pleasure in that and that is okay in the eyes of God within the confines of marriage
Now unfortunately before marriage men are just kind of built that way even before marriage, you know
There's something called testosterone that people have and that often
you know causes a man to have these desires to have these inner inhibitions and
If they're not careful they can allow that to kind of possess them and end up tempting themselves to commit the act of fornication
Through you know meeting someone having a girlfriend whatever it may be
But the point is is that God expects for all of us to make sure that we know how to control our bodies
Okay. Now what are some practical ways to do this? Well, obviously I've said this in times past
one of the best ways for you to control your body to have temperance is two things dieting and exercise like
Why don't you say diet and exercise for everything you always use that but it's true
Let me explain to you why a person who's just constantly eating junk food
They have a very just weak will and I'm getting a very weak will and if they're very you know
Weak willed in a certain area that means they give in to sin a lot more easier
So you kind of have to teach yourself to do hard things and to resist certain temptations
And this is why it's important to exercise, you know, and obviously exercise increases testosterone
But you know what it takes up your time as well
It makes you tired so that when you go home you go to sleep
But someone who doesn't exercise someone who doesn't eat well is will be number one
Weak willed but also number two idle and if you're idle you're more susceptible to the temptations of Satan
You're more susceptible to your own temptations. It's important my friends listen to me to stay busy and especially if you're young
I mean God's given the young people the young men a lot of testosterone a lot of umph
And if you like well, I'm not like that. That's probably because of your diet
You're not getting enough sleep and you're not lifting. Okay, I'm 38 years old. Amen
You know what? I got tons of energy. I got five kids. I got a wife. I got five kids
I'm a pastor of a church. I have these extra
Studies that I'm doing outside of even the Bible. I you say, how do you do it?
dieting and exercise and
Discipline possessing your vessel making your body do what it's supposed to do. Listen to this not what it wants to do
That's what it means to possess your vessel
It means you tell your body what to do. Don't let your body tell you what to do
Your body wants to commit fornication. You say shut up. We're not doing that. That's wicked and sinful
I'm staying away from that not giving in to every whim and desire of the flesh my friends. That's what it means to possess your vessel
Sanctification. I mean who's in charge here think about that, you know, who's in charge of your body?
Who's the one in charge of making your body do the things that it's supposed to do?
And here's the thing is that you know, if you're staying up all hours of the night
You're gonna be more susceptible to the sin, especially over the fact that at night is when sin happens most often
So then what should I do sleep? You know, if you don't have five children at home, you should have no problem sleeping
I got five kids at home and sometimes it's hard
It's hard and you know, especially if you have a baby
You have another one who's having trouble sleeping then they get sick
I mean today at the age of 38
I find pleasurable the things that were a punishment to me as a child wish I could take naps staying in
Staying in early doing nothing going to sleep early taking naps
I would love to do that, but you know what staying out late at night in the twilight hours
You're only gonna get involved in sin
You're only gonna find temptation and sin and let me just say that some of you just need to just need to like get rid
Of your apps get rid of your technology
Maybe you just need to go on a technology fast in order so that you can build up some resistance
And you know a man should be characterized by strong will and resistance
People who possess their vessels not allowing their vessels to possess them and look one of the best ways to do this
Obviously is by lifting and extra and dieting nutrition. Why is that because it's not fun to eat good food
Healthy food all the time. You got to like make yourself do that
You know, i've been doing that for like the last six months and i'm not having fun. It's not fun
I don't you know, i'm just like great. It's it sucks
But you know what? My body does not tell me what to do though
And my body's like go get some mcd's go get a double cheese. You're the you're you're the boss of your life
You're the pastor you really think if you go to mcdonald's anyone who's gonna get mad at you at the church
They'll probably go with you share a double double with you. No
I will not do it go get some raising canes. Ruben brought some what look how kind Ruben is
He brought you some raising canes with texas toast and you're not going to participate. I shall not go into the fellowship hall
You know, you have to tell your body what to do. You gotta tell your body to get up out of bed
You gotta tell your body i'm gonna eat this plate of ground beef and you're gonna like it whether you like it or not
This is what you're gonna do. You're gonna lift this weight whether you like it or not
You're gonna do this every single day whether you like it or not and the body is like I don't want to do it
I don't want to eat this. I want pizza. I want burgers
I want pot. I want Thai food. I want I know you do but we're not having that right now
You have to possess your vessel in sanctification. Oh, I want a 4k. Yeah, I know you do but we're not doing that right now
Because it's not right in the eyes of the lord and you're not in charge. I'm in charge
Ask yourself this who's in charge of you build up some resistance
Make your will strong be able to resist and look one of the best ways to resist temptation. Listen to this
It's just not be in front of it at all. That's like the best way to do it
You know god only expects for us to use our will against sin when we're like in an emergency situation
Our will is like a spare tire. You only need it in emergency situations
Okay
but in general
You should just not be placing yourself
In the presence of temptation because if you're constantly doing that eventually you will give in possess your vessel and sanctification at all
You know the bible tells us listen to this
But I keep under my body and bring it into subjection
Less by any means when I preach to others I myself should be a cast away the bible says
What is the apostle paul saying i'm disciplining my body making it do what it doesn't want to do
Because I don't want to be a cast away. I don't want to be a casualty
I want to make sure that I fulfill god's plan for my life and that i'm not leading others astray
Because i'm giving in to every whim of my desires and lust that I have basically what he's saying
Okay, and let me just say this take control of your thoughts, too
You know one of the reasons why young people struggle with this with this sin of fornication
Is because it all starts in the mind
But the reason it starts in the mind is because what you're putting into your mind, you know
That's why it's important as a young person you bear the yoke in your youth and you read the word of god
You saturate your mind with the bible and with healthy activities with healthy friendships
Because that's what you need in your mind. Some of you need to regain your innocence again plain and simple
You need to regain your innocence and learn how to have fun in life without all the sin
The bible tells us in roman 7 22 for I delight in the law of god after the inward man
But I see another law in my members worn against the law of my mind and bringing me into
Captivity to the law of sin which is in my members or wretched man that I am who shall deliver me from this body of death
And so, you know making sure you're getting enough sleep. I'm giving you practical tips here, but you know get enough sleep and as a young man
Single man single lady. You should have no problem with that. No one should be struggling with insomnia in our church
No one should be struggling. I'm talking about as a young person. There should be no
Battle with insomnia. I mean as soon as your head hits the pillow, you should just be out
Okay, and there should be no reason why that doesn't happen because literally that's how god made you
Okay to just exert yourself by working
Reading the bible winning souls to christ serving god and when you go home
It's just like I don't even I don't even feel like sitting because i'm just too tired fornication
I'm too tired to fornicate and just boom you just go to sleep and you know what that does it helps
your mental health it helps you to
you know rebuild your body you know you're supposed to be getting sleep it makes your resistance a lot
stronger it's good for you so getting sleep having a healthy diet is necessary filling your mind with
the right things exercising and staying busy and you know i'm pro exercising obviously you guys know
that and i think some of you guys need to start like making that a priority in your life and you'd
be surprised you know you're like well my my will is pretty strong your will could be even stronger
if you get involved in exercising your body it's good for you okay now so what's the first thing
well the first thing is possess your vessel and sanctification and honor don't allow your body to
tell you what to do don't give in to every whim and desire of your flesh you're like oh man but
i just i just struggle with this thoughts of fornication i struggle with that with that lust
i struggle with that desire to want to do those things well you know it's only for a season though
if you can just keep this up for a season let me give you an example of this okay
i'm in this season right now obviously not for fornication okay you know i've been dieting for
since cutting i've been cutting i don't diet i live in amen you know i've been cutting since
january and i have this window of time now in two weeks it's over and in two weeks i'm giving
into every whim and desire the desires of my flesh and of my mind i'm just gonna just
just dive into sin just you know i'm just gonna jump in have pizza french toast all the good stuff
that you guys are enjoying that i'm not you know we're gonna have a canes night you know we're all
the good old memories of going to canes i'm gonna do all that but you know what that's coming in the
future right now is a time of abstinence and you know what when it comes to the subject of fornication
that's how you got to think about it because it's not abnormal to have those desires but you have
to realize this is only for a season and then marriage comes and then you can have it all you
want and you'll be right in the eyes of god and you won't be involved in sin and you can fulfill
those god-given desires in its appropriate way but you have to realize i'm in that window of time
and during that window of time i cannot stop the cut i'm not gonna stop myself from eating this way
disciplining myself this way possessing my vessel my time will come and i'm not just gonna you know
sneak a donut in or something or sneak a burger in or a pizza don't cheat don't be a cheater
make it make it all the way through amen make it all the way through until the wedding altar
when you say i do and you make that covenant before god and so possess your vessel don't let
your vessel possess you hey you made your body come to church today amen make your body read
the bible make your body pray make your body go win souls to christ make your body be holy
and be sanctified and possess your vessel and sanctification and honor you can do it
anybody can do it pray through it lord help me to possess my vessel and sanctification and honor
but along with that remove the temptations from your life so that you're not placing that before
you now here's another thing go to first peter chapter two first peter chapter two so obviously
you know when it comes to your body you have those desires completely normal but you got to possess
your vessel and sanctification on it but secondly here's a way here's a great way to deal with
fornication run from it get away from it run as fast as you can run screaming in the opposite
direction when that temptation is right before you now let me just say this because i just learned
this recently and it's probably one of the reasons why i want to talk about this and that is stop
using dating apps to try to find people you know apparently dating apps is more like fornication apps
that's what they are i'm sure they're promoted as oh find your significant other and then you meet
each other but apparently these apps are literally used for people to hook up with other people
literally just to commit fornication and that's wicked as hell and you know what there should be
no young person in our church having that dating app on their phone entertaining the possibility
well i'm just going to meet this person and we'll see where it goes with it or something we'll see
how it turns out you're trying to make it turn out to fornication that's what you're trying to do
and you know what a lot of a lot of these young people aside from these dating apps they'll use
instagram and these other social media platforms only for the intent of finding females and
fornicating that's wicked what's wrong with you you know but i heard this recently that that's
literally what they're used for dating apps not even about like oh i want to find a wife it's
literally they want to find someone that they can fornicate with that's literally what it's for
nowadays and you know he's like well i'm trying to find a christian woman folks you know for a
fact you ain't gonna find no fundamental baptist on there you are not gonna find some hellfire
independent fundamental fag hating you know zionist hating post-trip pre-wrath king james only
soul-winning baptist on there dress wearing him loving biscuit eating you know you're not
gonna find that anybody goes on those dating apps they know what they're getting into you know what
it is you're putting temptation before you and you know it's it's crazy nowadays that how easily
accessible sin is you know like in my generation you have to even if you wanted to fornicate you
have to like go talk to a person face to face now you have like the internet that'll kind of
put you it'll remove all of the barricades and all the you know whatever uncomfortable things
and just pair you up and there you go you guys could go fornicate or whatever and that's literally
what these dating apps are for how many know what i'm talking about you've heard that at least
i just found that out i'm like wow so there's literally and it's just like that's all people
use it for is just to hook up fornicate it's not even to find wives or to find a girlfriend it's
literally what the intent to fornicate folks run screaming in the opposite direction don't allow
how easy it is how easy the internet makes it to fornicate to just allow it to tempt you
to go get involved in that you're a child of god you're a son of god you're a christian you're a
believer you should know better and you should be ashamed of yourself if that's what you want to do
let that shame you you want to blush for doing that you know you find some female on there with
some std some female on there with some venereal disease birth of bastard children oh you know
yeah it's going to be sweet to your taste initially but afterwards thy mouth shall be filled with
gravel afterwards you actually want to get serious about the things of god but now you got to be
child support because she doesn't want to marry you but she birthed your child and and and by
the way she's a roman catholic you're screwed and now one night of fornication just just flush it
down the toilet because it doesn't mean anything in comparison to all the sufferings and tribulations
that you're going to get afterwards because that's how sin is afterwards thy mouth shall be filled
with gravel it's not worth it forget these dating apps except for i don't know new ifbe i think
there's this you know those singles is that still around i'm not sure if that's still around does
anybody know apparently no one's going on there sorry pastor in this old-fashioned way i mean you
could do new ifbe singles but you know here here's a better alternative is just like go talk to
someone face to face you know and and look stop trying to meet women in different denominations
of churches too i mean folks that's almost like that's almost like worse than dating an unsafe
person in some cases because because what if it ends up working out with you and them but
she's just straight esv only you find out she's she believes in calvadism she wants to deep down
in her heart she wants to be a catholic or something that would suck and then you know once it's done
it's done and then you have all these theological differences and she likes wearing pants and you
tell her not to wear pants and then you know she likes the ccm or whatever oh man i ain't worth it
but what do you expect me to do how about you know pray no no i'm seriously no no no seriously
how about you pray you know where's your faith how about you pray and say lord send me because
you know the bible says that god blesses a man with a woman that a prudent wife is from the lord
so how do you know because i got me one got me a prudent wife like god gifted me with a wonderful
godly wife he said what you have to do pray serve god be in my church make the lord jesus christ the
most important thing in my life have no expectations and boom there you go because in you know in the
lord's economy is just like he needs a wife he needs to help me you know and and you know she's
king james only she she wasn't anti you know jew and and we got to take care of that stuff afterwards
you know drop a couple f-bombs every once in a while she got the hint you know just it rolls
off the tongue you know tell her about the jews and how we're all gonna die in the tribulation
cried a little bit but it's all right you know worked out amen and now she's full-fledged new
iv wasn't hard at all point that i'm making here is stay away from temptation as far as possible
okay and you young guys you know if you're mr rico suave or whatever and you you always have
these girls talking to you you know you should stay away from them as much as possible you know
if you have all these girls contacting you slipping into your dms or whatever contacting
you should you should go on private block every single one of them or just get rid of instagram
period that's what you got to do you know and i don't know what other you know delete all your
dating apps oh man and how am i going to find someone oh i don't know pray you know come to
church go to the red hot preaching conference meet women talk to women face to face the way you know
all men used to do it back in the day where you just literally have to actually verbalize a
conversation with a female you know you're not catfishing anybody just what you see is what you
get you know it's not like a profile picture with with your face like super close to the camera so
no one sees how your body actually looks like or something everyone knows what i'm talking about
it's always a red flag boys and don't be that boy either time there's a profile picture and the
camera's just a little too close to the face you know it's not going to deliver on what it
claims to have okay they're catfishing you is what they're doing you know it's better to just be
face to face you know just talk to them and you know what it helps you to learn how to socialize
and to be a normal person because you're talking on the fly it's not like you're writing a message
then you delete it and then you're writing a message trying to get it right you know oh man
she hearted my message that's just technology means nothing talk to someone in person you know go meet
individuals talk to someone and obviously our church is going to be around for a really long time
and we're going to have people come we're going to have people go and look don't lose hope don't be
the don't have this attitude by the way this is very important oh there's nobody here though
everyone's just gone everyone's already taken and so therefore i'm going to go you know why no one's
here is because you're not god probably sees you and he sees you're not doing anything sees you're
not growing up sees you're not taking this thing of the christian christian life serious it's not
like you're praying about it it's not like you're praying about it's not like you're you're actually
you know putting your foot in to do something about it so why would he bring anybody yeah
everyone's already taken yeah they're taken by the dude who prayed about it though they're taken by
the guy who prayed about it put his best foot forward lied to her a little bit you know he
he actually went out and did something about it and so run from it now i had to shoot a first
peter but go to uh genesis if you would 39 genesis chapter 39 i spent way too much time
with that but i think that's necessary because we do live in a social media type of culture now
where everything's done on social media people are more bold on social media people more bold
in the comment section they're more bold in the dms and i think it was like mike tyson who said
something about social media or just like a lot of these guys who make these comments would never
say it to your face because they know they get beat up and it's true people are just more bold
in the comment section but it goes the same way when it when it comes to a man talking to another
woman that's just more bold woman talking to a dude they're just more bold but you know there's
certain things you would not say in person to a female or to a man that you would probably be
emboldened to say behind the screen and so that screen needs to be removed you need to learn how
to talk you need to learn how to look at people in their eyes too by the way okay you know when
you talk to someone not just a female but just anybody in general look them in the eyes you know
just look them straight in the eyes as you're talking to them don't allow your your eyes to
wander and you know i i had to learn that when i first came to church and i remember like uh one
of the pastors in the bible college he shook my hand he's like stop making your eyes wander look
at me straight in the eyes when you talk to me and i was just like then my eyes started watering i
was like oh dang i never looked at someone this long you know you know that that's actually like
a discipline to have though look at someone in the eyes and you know be respectful learn how to
communicate learn how to talk in the fly be a social person doesn't mean you have to like not
be an introvert but you know anybody who's gotten married though you know what i mean like i remember
a long time ago there's this guy at this old church he's like yeah i'm really shy i'm really
introverted i was like bro you got like five six kids wouldn't you be that shy how can you say
you're shy when you got like five or six kids you obviously have a level of social life in you that
you convince this woman to marry you and you have kids you're not that shy brother okay and so at
the end of the day you know you can say that you're shy but you know what you want to you want to uh
you don't want your shyness to cause you to be single for the rest of your life so you're
going to have to learn some social skills learn how to talk to people learn how to talk to women
now here's a great example look at genesis 39 verse 7 it says it came to pass after these things
that his master's wife referring to joseph cast her eyes upon joseph and she said lie with me so
this woman's a whore she's a wicked woman she's married and she's trying to entice joseph to commit
adultery with her but he refused and said into his master's wife behold my master watteth not what is
with me in the house and he hath committed all that he hath to my hand there is none greater in
this house than i neither hath he kept back anything from me but thee because thou art his wife
listen to this how then can i do this great wickedness and sin against potiphar no he
said sin against god so he knew that even though potiphar wasn't in the house you know god was
always watching he goes on to say and it came to pass as she spake to joseph day by day that he
harkened nodding to her to lie by her or to be with her so she's like constantly enticing him
and you know what i believe that possibly potiphar's wife was probably very beautiful
because he's a higher up the man's uh an important individual he probably has a very attractive wife
and so she's trying to entice him i'm sure he's tempted verse 11 says and it came to pass about
this time that joseph went into the house to do his business and there was none of the men of the
house there within and she caught him by his garment saying lie with me and he left his garment
in her hand and fled and got him out now what does that mean it means he just pretty much
fled naked you know she grabbed him and he just like he just like ran just took off running
screaming in the opposite direction like oh that's an exaggeration well it seems as though that's
what you're supposed to do you know why because he's scared you know what he's scared of destroying
his life you know why you think it's an exaggeration because you're not scared of sin enough sin doesn't
scare you committing the act of fornication doesn't scare you you'd be like stop you you mess around
too much joseph just was terrified to the point where it's just like i have to run away naked i
will if i have to leave my coat i'm going to because he's terrified of displeasing god and
of committing the act of adultery we need that fear and if you don't have that fear then you need
to pray god god make me scared of sin to the point where i'm willing to flee fornication like
joseph did oh yeah people might call him uh you know a weakling or you know the world might think
of joseph as just being a punk and a wimp or whatever but you know in god's eyes there's a
man right here the man who fears the lord the man who loves the lord and loves potiphar the man who
honors his parents is a man who is just willing to do everything he can to just flee fornication
do you entertain fornication or do you flee from it do you play with fornication or do you run
screaming in the opposite direction that's what god wants us to do he wants to be so passionate
about not sinning that it would terrify us to even be in the clutches of sin right that's exactly
what joseph did and the bible tells us in the new testament flee fornication you like run from it
don't put temptation before you and when it is before you run run either run uh to a brother
or sister in christ and by the one of the best things for your soul is if you're ever in a
situation like that go to an older brother sister in christ and say hey i'm being tempted right now
by this lady by this woman by this girl and i just want to let you know that this is what's
going on in my life so so i can be accountable to you because you know what in my flesh i want to
commit fornication but i know that it's wrong and so i just need accountability i'm just letting
you know so that someone knows about this okay bringing it to light i ran i hung up on them i
blocked them you know he said well how extreme should i get i mean as extreme as you need to get
to make sure it never happens now go to first corinthians chapter seven first corinthians
chapter seven you know before salvation i had a lot of friends i had uh dudes who were my friends
and i had women that were my friends and somehow i just knew or maybe i learned it from my my church
or my pastor that when you get saved that's when temptation comes the most you know when you're
a babe in christ and so to avoid that i just like got a new number what about all your friends what
about them you know my purity was more important you know honoring god was more important to me
yeah but maybe i could get her saved though okay get her saved but bring a brother in christ with
you how about that well i think this is the best time to preach the gospel here is like at 10 o'clock
at night in a dark parking lot by ourselves you know it just sets the mood really well you're
idiot so how do you deal with fornication well possess your vessel in sanctification honor possess
your body don't let your body possess you you tell your body what to do number two run from it if
you're ever in the presence of temptation run screaming go tell someone go tell your team leader
come tell me say hey this happened i need help i don't want this to happen again what do you
think i should do block that person get that person out of your life don't go near that
individual ever again if they're trying to tempt you to commit fornication but here's here's number
three here's the best thing to do okay and that is get married best ways to avoid fornication
is getting married because once you get married then you have a woman living with you every single
day and you i mean you know right there and god approves of that physical relationship not trying
to be you know i'm trying to keep a pg-13 here but you know what at the end of the day that's
what one of the reasons god created marriage for to help you fulfill those desires that you have
that he gave to you have yourself one wife and you know what the great thing about
marriages you can have that physical relationship with your wife for the rest of your life and you'll
never get a disease you'll never listen to this you'll never ever ever ever produce bastard
children no matter how many times you try every single one of them just none of them will become
become bastard children.
And here's the great thing about marriage,
is that every time you participate in the physical act
with your wife, with your spouse,
you honor God, please with you.
He commands you to do it.
It's the best thing ever.
So it's just like, oh man, I'm just struggling.
What should I do?
Well, how about you start preparing for marriage?
How about you mature yourself?
How about you grow up, you put away childish things?
How about you put away the video games?
How about you put away the social media?
How about you start getting serious about life,
about getting a job, about maturing, being a man,
and start praying, Lord, send me a wife.
Honor God, serve God, go to the Red Hot Preaching Conference,
go somewhere, and step out in faith and get married, amen?
Look what it says in 1 Corinthians 7, verse 1.
"Now concerning the things which he wrote unto me,
it is good for a man not to touch a woman."
And to that we say, amen.
"Nevertheless, to avoid fornication,"
in other words, what does touching lead to?
Fornication, OK?
And look, this is a standard that I personally have.
I don't impose this upon anybody.
I just think it's wise that if you're dating,
you shouldn't be making out and holding each other
and sitting in cars alone together.
Why?
Because you're a red-blooded dude.
That's why.
Unless you're some effeminate dude with sugar in his pockets
and your estrogen levels are super high,
your testosterone's super low, you know what I mean?
And you're just super wimpy and limp-wristed.
You don't even have sexual drive.
You just have soy in your system.
But if you're just a regular dude,
you're put in that position.
I'm trying to keep a PG-13, but let's be real here.
You're holding hands, you're making out,
you're holding each other.
Eventually, it's going to awaken a desire in you.
And you know what?
Given the right circumstance, you might even
commit fornication.
And you know what?
Take heed, lest ye fall.
Not me, I can handle all that.
Oh, sure you can.
Yeah, people have been handling it for thousands of years,
right?
A relationship has to grow, my friends.
Did you know that?
Let me just say this.
When two people are dating each other
with the purpose of marriage, that relationship has to grow.
You know what that means?
You have to get closer one to another as the months go by.
That's why I never recommend people
to have long engagements.
If you're engaged for years on end, oh, man.
You're opening yourself up to temptation.
You know, you say, well, what do you recommend?
Six months to a year for an engagement.
And shorter than all the better.
You know, you're engaged.
It's just like, all right, she's going to marry me.
OK, then get married sooner than later.
Because the relationship grows.
And as the relationship grows, you
want to touch her if you don't already.
And you know what?
She probably wants to touch you, too.
But it's not right to do it, because eventually it's
going to grow into something else.
You're going to end up crossing some boundaries
that you're not supposed to cross,
tempting each other and causing each other to end up committing
some sort of sin that you're going to regret in the long term.
So he said, what do you expect?
You know, we're supposed to be just not touching at all?
Well, it does say there, it's good for a man
not to touch a woman.
So that's what the Bible says right there.
I mean, I have a King James.
What do you guys got?
It looks like people don't agree with me.
Well, that's fine.
That's literally what the Bible says there.
It's good for a man not to touch a woman.
And then he says, nevertheless, to avoid fornication.
And last time I checked, like making out
is considered touching.
Right?
If you're sticking your tongue inside of her,
that's considered touching.
I mean, I had to kind of put the cookie on the bottom shelf
here, because it seems like people
don't seem to understand this.
Folks, I'm trying to help you so that you don't do
something stupid in the long term.
So that when you finally reach the wedding altar,
you're just like, you know what?
I'm glad I waited.
Get over here, woman.
That's what you have to do is when they get married,
they like yank their wife's face.
And everyone's just clapping and happy about it.
Because you know what?
He possessed his vessel.
He controlled himself.
What am I saying?
Have some control.
Have some self-control.
And I get it.
I know my pastor friends have different opinions than me.
I know that.
That's why you guys are looking at me like that.
But you know what?
This is First Works Baptist Church.
And my pastor friends respect my opinion just like I respect
theirs, but you know what?
This is First Works.
And I'm just, as your pastor, giving you the recommendations.
I'm not imposing this on you.
I'm telling you this because I want
you to have a successful marriage and a successful
engagement and marriage.
And you know what?
Let me just say this, too.
When you have kids, you're going to probably impose that standard
upon your kids.
It always happens.
You'll be like, well, you know, maybe it's actually good for you
guys not to hold hands, actually.
I think about it, actually.
It's a lot different, my friends.
But here's the thing.
You can avoid all that.
And look, I'm speaking from experience
because I had a really long engagement.
And not by choice, either.
I had a layman as a father-in-law, you know what I mean?
Hey, my wife would agree.
He was like layman to me.
And then I had to wait a long time.
And I didn't have a choice.
If it was my choice, I would have gotten married
in a few months or whatever.
But you know what?
But you said, what did you do?
Well, I just had to possess my vessel
in sanctification and honor.
And look, I could even hold her hand,
even if I wanted to, by the way.
He just never allowed us to be in any situation.
So I had to work twice as hard to possess my vessel
in sanctification and honor.
Because there's just no holding hands, no nothing.
I mean, I could look at her, and that was about it.
And for any length of time, that would
be very hard for a person.
But obviously, God gave me grace.
And well, here I am now.
I got five kids and stuff like that.
So marriage is going great.
But here's the thing is that--
so don't think, oh, you're imposing that because--
no, I'm just saying, look, I did it more than most people do.
And I'm just telling you, if you get engaged,
you should plan to get married within the next six months
or something like that.
The sooner, the better.
Because it's going to climax, where it's just
that physical relationship is supposed
to be the end of that particular era for you guys,
where it's just a beginning.
It's a new start, but it's the end of that engagement.
And that's what you want.
So what am I saying?
I'm saying get married and prepare for marriage.
Be someone who's just--
and don't take on this MGTOWL attitude either.
Oh, there's no good women out here in America.
It's because you suck.
That's why.
It's not that there's no good women.
It's just no good women like you.
That's what it is.
There's just no good women.
It's because you suck as a dude.
Good godly women don't like you because you suck as a dude.
So maybe if you take MGTOWL off your profile,
they would actually be interested in you or something.
That movement sucks.
It's like a covert gay movement or something.
You know, it's filled with dudes who just failed at getting a girl
to like them or something.
So they swing to the opposite extreme,
and now they just hate women.
It's a stupid movement.
Criticize all women are whores.
The Western woman has been corrupted.
Shut up.
Just say you failed.
You can't get anybody to like you.
You can't get anybody to marry you.
That's basically what you mean.
But you can fix that.
Get in the church.
Get godly.
Grow in the Lord.
Be around men to teach you how to be a man.
And pray.
Lord, send me someone.
I'm going to possess my vessel in sanctification and honor.
I want to honor you.
I want you to help me to restrain myself.
And when you send me the right person,
I want to get engaged.
Six month, nine month engagement.
Get married.
Live happily ever after.
Have a godly marriage.
Children.
Just live life unto the Lord.
And so what's the message this evening?
Make war, not this superficial love.
As a young man, you know, be determined to fight against your flesh, to fight against
the temptations of Satan, to fight against the philosophy that the world keeps throwing
at you.
That it's okay to fornicate and do all these things.
It's not okay to fornicate.
It's sinful.
It's wicked.
And so that's it.
Let's pray.
Father, we thank you so much for your word, Lord.
And I know I was a little coarse this evening, a little crass in certain areas, but I feel
like sometimes I need to be that way in order to get the point across.
And I pray that I did tonight, and I pray that our young men would start getting ready
and start preparing themselves for that covenant that they're going to make one day before
you to be a godly husband and a godly father.
What a blessing it is to be married, what a blessing it is to have children, to have
a family.
And Lord, it's a wonderful thing.
And I pray that you would cast vision to those in our church who are not yet married
to strive for that.
But until then, Lord, help them, give them the grace to possess their vessels and sanctification
and honor.
And obviously this principle can apply to all types of temptations and sins.
But tonight, of course, we're focusing in on this matter of fornication, Lord.
And I pray that you bless us as we go on our way.
In Jesus name we pray, amen.
Song number 106 is our last song, "Abide With Me," song number 106.