Amen.
All right, we're there in Deuteronomy chapter number 31, and tonight I'm preaching a sermon
on the subject of why we are a family integrated church, and we're in between series right
now on Sunday nights, and I'd like to just kind of preach a few stand-alone sermons
and some things that I've been needing to preach for a while, and I want to say,
and I could be wrong about this, the last time I preached a sermon on the subject
of why we are a family integrated church was in 2014, and about six years ago, so it's
always good to kind of refresh these things and be reminded about these things, and you
are, of course, sitting in a family integrated church.
You may not know that if you listen to the announcements every time we have announcements.
We talk about the fact that we're a family integrated church, and what that means is
that we don't separate children from their parents for any ministry, and just kind
of by way of introduction, I'd like to define that a little bit to you.
Family integrated means that we offer no separate children's ministries.
At Verity Baptist Church, we don't have, you may have noticed this, but we don't
have any children's church.
We don't have Sunday school.
We don't have nurseries.
We don't have any sort of ministry that would separate children from their parents.
Family integrated means that we never separate children from their parents for any reason,
and family integrated means that the entire family experiences the church service together
as a family unit, integrated, not segregated, and it's good to talk about these things
from time to time, because sometimes I think we forget why we do what we do, and of
course, over the last six years, we've grown and added a lot of families to our church,
and they may or may not have heard some of these reasons as to why we are a family-integrated
church.
Back when we first started Verity Baptist Church about 10 years ago, we were meeting
in our living room.
People assumed that we were family-integrated because the church was small and because
we were young.
We just had the kids with us because that's all it was, and as the church began to grow
and as we moved from one facility to another facility and bigger facilities and began
to get rooms, people assumed that, well, we're going to get a Sunday school now, right?
We're going to have a nursery now, and the answer was no.
We're family-integrated.
We weren't family-integrated because we didn't have the facilities.
We were family-integrated by choice, by conviction, so this evening, what I'd like
to do is answer the question, why have we at Verity Baptist Church chosen to be
a family-integrated church?
Why have we chosen to not have ministries that separate children from their parents?
Why do we choose to have the children in the church service with the entire family?
Why have we done that?
So I want to give you several reasons, three reasons tonight.
I encourage you to write these down because you may have to explain this to somebody
someday.
You may have to explain to a new family that maybe may ask you, you know, why doesn't
the church have a children's church?
Why doesn't the church have Sunday school classes?
Why doesn't the church have nurseries?
You know, why it is that we're a family-integrated church.
So maybe you can write these reasons down.
Number one, we are a family-integrated church because the family-integrated church is patterned
after scripture.
The family-integrated model of having the children with us in the church service is
the pattern that we find in scripture, and I'm going to take some time and show
this to you and really develop this, but I want to show you that in the Old Testament,
children were not separated from the congregation.
When the congregation met in the Old Testament, the Bible is clear about the fact that the
children were always with them.
Now, we're there in Deuteronomy 31, I'd like you to look down at verse number
nine.
Now, I want you to notice in this example, Moses has gathered all the people together.
Deuteronomy 31 and verse nine, the Bible says this, and Moses wrote this law, and
this is, of course, referring to the Bible, the word of God, and delivered it unto
the priests, the sons of Levi, which bear the ark of the covenant of the Lord, and unto
all the elders of Israel, and Moses commanded them, saying, at the end of every seven years,
in the solemnity of the year released, in the feast of tabernacles, notice verse
11, he says, when all Israel is come to appear before the Lord thy God in the place
which he shall choose, thou shalt read this law before all Israel in their hearing.
Notice verse 12, he says, gather the people together.
So he says, look, I want you to read this law before all Israel in their hearing.
And by the way, you're going to find that there is a theme throughout the entire
Bible, Old and New Testament, where God wants his word read to his people.
And here he says, thou shall read this law before all Israel in their hearing.
Gather the people together, men and women and children, and thy stranger that is within
thy gates, notice, that they may hear and that they may learn.
So notice the Bible says here that Moses was commanded to gather the people together,
men and women and children.
For what purpose?
That they may hear and that they may learn.
And the fear of the Lord your God and observe to do all the words of this law.
Today we're told, oh no, children can't learn the Bible if they're not put somewhere
off in a different room somewhere and taught Bible lessons that are dumbed down for them.
Well, nobody let God know about that because when God told Moses to gather everybody
together, he said, hey, gather the men, gather the women, gather the children.
You read my word to them.
I want them to hear it and I want them to learn.
So I want you to notice here that in the Old Testament we see that the children were
not separated from the congregation when the word of God was being read and taught and expounded upon.
Not only do we see that here in this example with Moses, but we see it with Ezra.
Go to the book of Ezra, if you would, Ezra chapter number 10.
You're there in Deuteronomy.
You have Joshua, Judges, Ruth, 1 and 2 Samuel, 1 and 2 Kings, 1 and 2 Chronicles.
And then you have the book of Ezra, Ezra chapter number 10.
And look at verse number 1, Ezra chapter number 10 and verse 1, Ezra chapter 10 and
verse 1.
The Bible says this, now when Ezra had prayed, Ezra chapter 10 and verse 1, now when Ezra
had prayed and when he had confessed weeping and casting himself down before the house
of God, notice these words, they're assembled unto him out of Israel a very great congregation.
Notice what this congregation consists of.
It says a very great congregation, notice, of men and women and children for the people
wept very sore.
So we see here that Ezra is ministering to the people and they assemble themselves.
This very great congregation and the Bible is very clear to let us know that it was
men and women and children.
They had all gathered together.
Go to the book of Joel, if you would, Joel chapter number 2.
If you look at the major prophets towards the end of the Old Testament, you've got Isaiah,
Jeremiah, Lamentations, Ezekiel, then you have the book of Daniel, Hosea, and Joel.
Daniel, Hosea, and Joel, Joel chapter number 2.
And look at verse number 15, Joel chapter number 2 and verse 15.
When the congregation gathers together in the Old Testament, they always have their
children with them.
Joel chapter 2 verse 15, blow the trumpet in Zion, sanctify a fast, call a solemn assembly.
The word assembly, congregation, these are all synonyms.
They're synonymous with each other.
They mean the same thing.
The word church means congregation, assembly.
Blow the trumpet in Zion, sanctify a fast, call a solemn assembly.
Notice Joel chapter 2 verse 16, gather the people, sanctify the congregation, assemble
the elders, gather the children, and those that suck the breast, let the bridegroom go
forth of his chamber and the bride out of her closet.
Here we're told, look, he's being very specific to tell us, I want the elders,
I want the old people there, I want the children there, I want those that suck the
breast.
There's no nursery here.
There's no putting those little babies that make all that noise somewhere else.
He says, I want them all gathered together.
He says, call a solemn assembly, gather the people, sanctify the congregation, assemble.
I mean, he said, how many other ways could I say it?
Assembly, gather, congregation, assemble, gather the children and those that suck the
breast.
He says, I want them all together.
I want them all gathered.
See, in the Old Testament, when the congregation gathered together, the children were always
with them.
And people say, well, ask the Old Testament.
What about in the local New Testament church?
Well, we're going to look at that, but just remember that in the New Testament, the Old
Testament congregation is referred to as the church in the wilderness.
And when they gathered together, when the assembly gathered together, it was always
men and women and children.
It was the babies, everybody gathered together.
You don't have to turn here, you go to the book of Matthew, if you would, Matthew
chapter 19, first book in the New Testament, Matthew chapter 19.
I'll read to you from Isaiah 28 and verse 9.
Here's what Isaiah said.
Here's the questions he asked.
He said, whom shall he teach and whom shall he make to understand doctrine?
Them that are weaned from the milk and drawn from the breast.
See, he says, look, I want to teach doctrine to a little baby, he says, that is weaned
from the milk and drawn from the breast.
See, it is a biblical model to have children, all of the children gathered together with
the parents, with the adults and teach them God's word.
And people often say to me and say, yeah, but the kids, they don't, you know, grasp
all of it.
You know what I've learned over the last 10 years of ministry is that the adults don't
grasp it all either.
Sometimes I get better feedback from the kids than I do the adults.
I mean, kids walk up to me all the time telling me, you preach this and this was
cool and giving, you know, showing me their notes and giving me their outlines.
I've had some conversations with some adults and I'm like, we've already had this
conversation.
I preached like three sermons about this.
You're still, you still don't understand?
Our kids don't understand everything, they don't grasp everything.
You'd be surprised how much they grasp.
You'd be surprised how much they understand.
Whom shall they teach knowledge and whom shall they make to understand doctrine?
Them that are weaned from the milk and drawn from the breast.
Look, these kids, they don't need us just dumbing down and teaching them things,
you know, in a slower way or a dumber way.
We need to teach them doctrine.
These are going to be the future men and women, the future warriors of God that are
going to take the gospel to the world and we need to teach them, we need to have them
with us.
And in the Old Testament, in the Old Testament, we see that the children were always in the
congregation.
What about the New Testament?
Well, in the New Testament, we see that children were not separated from the congregation
either.
Let me give you some proofs of that.
Matthew chapter 19, this is a famous passage about the Lord Jesus Christ.
We see that Jesus advocated for children and infants to be included in his ministry.
Matthew chapter 19, verse 13, the Bible says this, then were there brought unto
him little children that he should put his hands on them and pray.
Notice what the Bible says at the end of verse 13, and the disciples rebuke them.
The disciples were like your modern day, you know, church today.
You got to put those kids in the nursery.
We can't have those kids around here, they're going to disturb everything.
They're not going to let us pay attention.
The disciples rebuke them, but notice what Jesus says in verse 14, but Jesus said, suffer
little children and forbid them not.
The word suffer means allow, it's an older word in the meaning how it's used here in
the passage.
He says, allow little children and forbid them not to come unto me for of such is the kingdom
of heaven.
These little children were there as Jesus was teaching and ministering and teaching God's
word and these little children came and the disciples said, no, no, don't bring those
little children.
And Jesus said, no, no, you let them in, you suffer little children and forbid
them not to come unto me for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
Go to Luke chapter 18, you're there in Matthew.
Go to Mark and Luke.
Let me show you a parallel passage to this passage, Matthew 19, because I want you to
notice, you know, how young were these little children exactly?
Luke chapter 18 and verse 15, Luke chapter 18 and verse 15, the Bible says this, and
they brought unto him also Luke chapter 18 and verse 15, and they brought unto him
also infants.
An infant is younger than a toddler.
They brought unto him also infants that he would touch them, but when his disciples
saw it, they rebuke them, but Jesus called them unto him and said, suffer little children
to come unto me and forbid them not for of such is the kingdom of God.
Notice how Jesus advocated for the children, the infants, the little ones to be there,
to be included, to be part of the group, to be part of the ministry.
And I want you to notice secondly, not only did Jesus advocate for children and infants
to be included in his ministry, but I want you to notice also that the apostle Paul
expected for children to be included in the church service.
Go to the book of Colossians, if you would, Colossians chapter four, you have Luke, John,
Acts, Romans, 1st, 2nd Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, Galatians,
Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, Colossians chapter number four.
Now let me say this, I don't believe that every church that has a nursery or some
sort of children's ministry is a wicked, evil church, okay?
But I'm explaining to you why we've taken the position we've taken here at Verity
Baptist Church, why we've chosen to be family integrated from day one, we've chosen to
not have Sunday school classes, not have children's church, not have Patch the Pirate,
not have Awana, not have any of those types of ministries that are going to separate
children from their parents.
You say, why do you do that?
Well, number one, because the pattern in scripture, when you just look at the Bible
and say, well, what did they do in the Bible?
In the Bible, they always had their children with them.
Jesus said, suffer little children and forbid them not to come unto me for as such
is the kingdom of heaven.
Jesus advocated for the children and infants to be included in his ministry, but I want
you to notice also Paul expected for the children and infants to be included in the
church services.
Now let me kind of explain this to you and let me just say a little bit of the
context so you understand.
As you read the New Testament epistles, you'll find that Paul instructed the churches to
read his letters aloud to the congregation.
Are you there in Colossians chapter four?
Look at verse number 16, Colossians chapter four and verse 16.
The Bible says this, and when this epistle is read among you, this is Paul speaking
to the church at Colossae.
He says, and when this epistle is read among you, cause it to be read also in
the church of the Laodiceans and that ye likewise read the epistle from Laodicea.
So notice he says, I sent you a letter and the Laodiceans have a letter.
He said, you read yours out loud to the congregation and then you send them your letter and they
have them send you their letter and then that way they can read it out loud to their
congregation and you can read it out loud their letter to your congregation.
Notice Paul instructed the churches to read his letters out loud to the congregation.
Go to first Thessalonians chapter five.
Are you there in Colossians?
Just turn over to first Thessalonians chapter five.
Notice what Paul said in first Thessalonians chapter five and verse 27.
The Bible says this, I charge you by the Lord that this epistle be read unto all the
holy brethren.
He wrote the church in Thessalonica and he says, look, make sure you read this epistle
that this epistle be read unto all the holy brethren.
Paul expected and he instructed that his letters and that the epistles would be read to the
entire congregation.
Go to the book of Ephesians if you would.
Ephesians chapter six.
If you head backwards, you'll go past first Thessalonians, Colossians, Philippians into
the book of Ephesians.
Ephesians chapter six.
And by the way, let me just say this.
That's one of the reasons why we read so much Bible at Verity Baptist Church because
God expects us to come together and to read the Bible.
I mean, before I even begin the sermon, we read as is our custom and entire chapter
of the Bible.
And then within the sermon, we go to a lot of different passages and read a lot of scripture.
One year, I think it was last year, the Gessler family, they gave me a gift for my birthday
and I thought it was a very thoughtful gift.
They gave me a Bible in which they had taken the time to highlight every passage
that we had ever read in an entire year at Verity Baptist Church while I preached.
It was pretty interesting.
Why don't you say something and make a video about it.
You can go through and flip through the pages and see all the passages that were
read out loud during the services of an entire year at Verity Baptist Church.
It was pretty interesting.
I mean, I didn't read the entire Bible, but we covered a lot of Bible in one year.
I should probably grab that thing and make sure I preach through all the passages
I missed.
But it's interesting, but look, that's why we do that because God wants us to read
the Bible.
And let me just say this, the power is in the word of God.
At least I can always have the confidence that if I get up here and I preach a dud
and I have a bad day and I don't preach a good sermon, that at least you got a lot
of the word of God read to you and that's going to help you as well.
But notice that the apostle Paul, he says, hey, read these epistles, read these letters.
I'm going to send these to you.
I want you to read them out loud to the congregation.
And then here's what's interesting.
You get to the book of Ephesians and you begin to read the book of Ephesians, and when
you get to chapter five, Paul begins to address the husbands, right, and begins
to address the wives.
Ephesians chapter five is very famous for Paul addressing the husbands and the wives
and telling the husbands to love their wives and the wives to submit to their husbands.
And then you get to chapter six and in verse one he says this, Ephesians chapter six
and verse one, he says, children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.
Honor thy father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may
be well with thee and that thou mayest live long on the earth.
Here's what's interesting, Paul, who is telling them, make sure you read these letters
in the congregation, then write a letter and addresses the children.
He addresses the kids and he begins to speak to them and say, children, obey your
parents in the Lord for this is right.
What does that tell us?
Here's what it tells us, that Paul fully expected for the children to be sitting there
in the congregation during the service.
He addressed them, he spoke to them directly because of the fact that he expected them
to be there.
He didn't say, now make sure that somebody goes over to the Sunday school class and
tells the kids that they need to obey their parents.
He says, husbands, love your wives.
He said, wives, see that they reverence their husband.
He says, children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.
He speaks to them, why?
Because the local New Testament church in the first century did not have Sunday school
class.
Not a children's church, they had the children sitting with them in the New Testament,
just like they did in the Old Testament.
Paul addresses in chapter six, the children, then he addresses the servants, then he addresses
the masters.
He expects all of them to be sitting there.
There's no scripture reference that, as an example, demonstrates.
You cannot find, because sometimes you preach sermons like this or you talk about this
and people will push back and say, well, I don't think every church in America has
children's ministry.
I don't think you guys should be doing that.
And by the way, that's not true.
There's many churches that are family integrated, but the vast majority do have children's ministries
and people say, I don't think this is right and I don't think you guys are right
about this.
This one's interesting.
There is no scripture.
You cannot find one example in the Bible that demonstrates.
You cannot find one verse where Paul or an apostle is teaching a method and is teaching
us.
There's no command.
There's no mandate.
You can't find one verse that teaches you to have a separate children's ministry.
Not one.
Not one that tells you to have a nursery.
Not one that tells you to have a children's church.
Not one that tells you to have a Sunday school.
You can't find one, but you find verse after verse after verse after verse after verse
of the children being in the congregation with the congregation.
You say, why do we do that at Verity Baptist Church?
Because the family integrated church is patterned after scripture.
And when I became a Baptist, I decided the Bible was my boss.
I decided the Bible was going to be the final authority in all matters of faith
and practice.
And when I went out to start a church and the question was asked, will we have children's
ministry?
I figured out what the Bible says and I started looking for it and I realized it wasn't there.
Verity Baptist Church, we endeavor to pattern ourselves after the example set forth in
scripture.
When you remove all preconceived ideas or anything you may have seen in modern
day churches and simply allow the Bible to show you how a church, how a gathering,
how a congregation, how a meeting is to be held, it becomes very apparent that the
children were always part of the assembly.
The children were not taken to another location.
There was no idea that we must minimize distractions.
There's no Sunday school, children's church, there's none of that.
You don't find any of that.
So we have a family integrated church because the family integrated church is patterned
after scripture.
There's a second reason.
Go to the book of Jude if you would.
Towards the end of the New Testament, if you have the book of Revelation, right
before the book of Revelation, you have the book of Jude.
Jude in verse number four, I'm answering the question tonight, why are we a family
integrated church?
I said number one, we are a family integrated church because the family integrated church
is patterned after scripture.
Here's point number two.
Not only is the family integrated church patterned after scripture, that's a good
enough reason right there.
But the second reason that we are a family integrated church is because the family integrated
church is protective over children.
The reason that we've chosen to have a family integrated church is because the family integrated
church is the best model to protect children in our congregation.
In the book of Jude, Jude warned about people creeping into churches in order to
defile.
Notice Jude in verse number four.
Chapter one in verse four, the Bible says this, for there are certain men crept in unawares
who were before of old ordained to this condemnation.
That means there are reprobates, ungodly men, turning the grace of our God into lasciviousness.
The word lasciviousness is a reference to lust and denying the only Lord God and
our Lord Jesus Christ.
Notice verse seven, even as, that phrase even as means in the same way.
He says even as Sodom and Gomorrah and the cities about them in like manner, giving
themselves over to fornication and going after strange flesh, we would call that queer
flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.
Notice verse eight, likewise also these filthy dreamers, notice these words, defile
the flesh.
The word defile means to desecrate, to violate, defile the flesh, despise dominion
and speak evil of dignities.
Here Jude is warning us that there are those that would creep in unawares in order
to fulfill their lasciviousness, their lust.
They are filthy dreamers that defile the flesh.
Go to 2 Peter chapter number two.
You're there in Jude, just keep going backwards past third, second and first John into the
book of 2 Peter.
Peter also warns us about people creeping into the church to defile.
In fact, 2 Peter chapter two and the book of Jude are actually parallel passages.
Two different books written by two different men, but the same Holy Spirit.
And they are parallel.
There's many things that are similar in those passages.
Notice what Peter says in 2 Peter chapter two in verse 10.
The Bible says this, but chiefly, then that walk after the flesh in the lust of uncleanness,
notice the word lust there, and despise government.
Presumptuous are they, self-willed, they are not afraid to speak evil of dignities.
Look at verse 14, having eyes full of adultery that cannot cease from sin, beguiling
unstable souls.
And that phrase, unstable souls, could be a reference to children.
In heart, they have exercise with covetous practices.
Notice the context, cursed children, having eyes full of adultery.
Notice verse 18, for when they speak great swelling words of vanity, they allure through
the lust of the flesh, through much wantonness, those that were clean escape from them
who live in error.
Here's the truth.
You do not need to look hard to find that children are being molested and violated frequently
in churches across this country.
Very often, children's ministries lend themselves to allow a predator access to many children.
And look, we need to understand that most churches, I believe, want to and attempt
to have their children in a safe environment.
But yet, these people can often still get in and get access.
Even when they have things like background checks and all of that, they can still get
access to vulnerable children.
And that's why at Verity Baptist Church, we've drastically lowered the opportunity of
a child being sexually attacked or molested because of the fact that we are a family-integrated
church.
We keep the entire congregation together, that we keep everybody together, and children
are never separated from their parents.
Why do you do that?
Well, number one, we do it because that's what the Bible, that's the pattern in Scripture.
But secondly, it just makes sense.
It's the best model to protect children because children are always with their parents.
Now let me just say this.
Just because we are a family-integrated church does not necessarily mean that children
are safe just because they're in this building.
Listen mom and dad, it's still your job to watch your kids.
It's your job to watch your kids.
Look, there are people, this is a church.
There are people that walk through those doors, we don't know who they are.
Just because we're in church doesn't mean that, okay, everything's safe, everything's fine.
Look, it's still your responsibility to watch over your children.
Now let me just say this because I feel like I have to make these statements.
Don't become one of these people who's just suspicious of everyone.
Just everyone that walks through that door that seems a little odd, you're like,
ah, that's a pedophile.
Don't become one of those people.
But you know what, don't be one of these people either that's like, oh, it's church,
everybody's good to go.
Here's our motto in our home is love everyone, trust no one.
Hey pastor, I love everybody, as long as they're not a reprobate that we know of, if
they walk through those doors, you say, ah, they're not normal.
You weren't normal when you walked in, you're still not normal.
There's a little something odd about them, there's something odd about you.
You love her, look, everybody comes into Very Baptist Church, I believe that if God
wants them here, God placed them here, we love them, we accept them.
You say to your trust them, I don't trust anybody, none against you.
I'm not, it's not nothing personal, I've just chosen to not trust anyone.
God gave those children to my wife and I, and look, I may love you, I pray for you,
I think the world of you, but I'm not going to put my kids in a room somewhere by
themselves with you.
And by the way, you shouldn't trust anybody either, now don't be suspicious of everybody,
accusing everybody, look, love everyone, accept everyone, and trust no one.
Don't get this idea that, oh, we're in church, everybody must be fine.
We love everyone and we trust no one, because Peter warned that there would be people that
would creep into churches to defile.
Look, let me just help you out and give you some kind of practical thoughts here.
At Verity Baptist Church, I'm talking about this church, this church building,
my wife and I, I'm the stinking pastor of the church, okay?
You know, my wife is the pastor's wife.
I've got an office with screens that all these cameras connect to, okay?
I'm talking about in this church, in this building, my wife and I have a rule,
we don't allow our kids to hang out in that secondary foyer.
You say, pastor, are you against the secondary foyer?
Yeah, everybody who goes to secondary foyer is backslid.
No, that's not what I'm saying.
Obviously, we built that secondary foyer, we needed that secondary foyer,
we needed the restrooms, we needed the Mother Bay room, we needed the daddy room,
but you know what, when we built that thing, we had a talk with our kids.
After the service, you're allowed to be in the auditorium,
you're allowed to be in the playroom, you're allowed to be in the main foyer,
but we don't want you hanging out in the secondary foyer.
You say, why?
Because I can't see them in the secondary foyer.
When my wife's hanging out here with the ladies after the service,
and I'm in the foyer in that hallway, you know, we can see our kids,
but when they're just out back there in some corner, I can't see them.
You say, at Verity Baptist Church, yeah, at Verity Baptist Church,
there are places we tell our kids, we tell our kids,
don't hang out back here, down that hallway, where nobody can see you.
You know, we don't allow our kids to just hang out
in corners of the building where we can't see them.
By the way, we don't allow our younger children to go to the restrooms by themselves,
anywhere, but even here, other than our home, of course.
Most of the time that children are attacked sexually, it happens in public restrooms.
We just have a rule, if you're a little one, and obviously if you're 13 or 14 or something,
that's a different story, but we got younger kids,
and they need to go to the restroom, they go together.
We don't allow our kids to just hang out in the restrooms or near the restrooms.
And look, let me just say this, don't let your kids just hang out near the restrooms.
There's no need.
No kid needs to be playing down in this hallway,
just hanging out in that little corner by the restroom.
There's no need for that.
All these kids need to be playing out in the open where mom and dad can see them.
It'll keep them out of trouble.
It'll keep them out of having issues.
It'll keep them safe.
You say, why are you family integrated?
Because it is a pattern set forth in scripture,
but it's also just the best way to protect our children.
And look, you as parents, I get it.
We like to fellowship, and we like to have a good time,
and we like to do all those things, and I get that, and I'm all for it.
But you need to remember that even at Verity Baptist Church,
it's your job to watch your children.
Every once in a while, you need to get up and go watch your kids.
And look, mom and dad, every once in a while,
you need to sneak up on your kids.
You need to watch them without them knowing you're watching them.
You need to listen to what they're talking about.
You need to watch how they're interacting with each other.
You need to just sneak up on your kids and just kind of say, what's going on?
What are they talking about?
What are they looking at on that screen?
That's a good rule to have, and we tell our kids this.
Don't look at people's screens.
Do me a favor.
Don't show my kids stuff on your phone.
They don't need to see anything on your phone.
They don't need to see anything on your tablet.
All sorts of wicked, weird things come up on phones.
And I'm not saying just because you're looking at something weird.
I'm saying all sorts of weird things just come up on phones all the time.
Look, our job is to protect these kids.
The family integrated church is patterned after scripture.
The family integrated church is protective over children.
Number three, the family integrated church is a partner alongside parents.
The family integrated church is a partner alongside parents.
Go back to the book of Ephesians, if you would.
Ephesians chapter number six.
It seems like to me, you may or may not agree with this,
but it seems like to me that churches are constantly trying
to take children away from their parents.
I mean, when they're little babies, they want you to put them in a nursery.
When they get a little older, they want you to put them
in a Sunday school class or a children's church.
When they become teenagers, they want you to put them in a youth group.
When they become young adults, they want you to send them to a Bible college.
I mean, it just seems like they're just constantly trying to like,
just as long as you're not with your parents, as long as you're not with your parents.
It seems like churches are just constantly trying to take children away from their parents.
Look, we believe it right about the church, and the Bible teaches
that it is a parent's job to raise their children.
Ephesians chapter six and verse four, the Bible says this,
And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up
in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
And by the way, let me just say this.
It's not Father's Day, but let me call out some fathers.
Look, this is a family integrated church, sir.
You be the role model, and you be the leader that your wife needs
and that your children need, and you bring up those kids
in a nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Make sure when your kids see you, dad, at church,
that you got your Bible open and you're singing
and you're following along and you're saying amen,
and you're setting a good example.
And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath,
but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Look, it is the parent's job to raise their children.
Go back to the book of Deuteronomy, if you would, Deuteronomy chapter number six.
Say, why are we family integrated?
Here's why we're family integrated, because we want to partner with you.
We don't want to replace you.
We don't want to be against you.
We want to partner with you.
Even when we have youth activities around here,
we have activities for the teenagers.
You know who's invited?
Mom and dad and everybody.
We have children's activities.
Everyone's invited.
We have homeschool activities.
Everyone's invited.
In fact, we don't allow you to just drop off your kids and go away.
No, you're going to stay with this brat.
You raised them.
You got to deal with that.
We don't allow you to just drop off your kids.
That's how some people treat church.
They're like, put them on that bus,
and I can get a break from those brats for a while.
Well, they're your result. They're a result of your parenting.
So you come along with them, and you will help you.
But you're going to reap what you've sown, mom.
It's your job to raise those children.
Deuteronomy chapter six and verse six, the Bible says in these words,
which I command thee this day shall be in thine hearts,
and thou shall teach them diligently unto thy children.
And shall talk of them.
Look, this is not a Facebook mom.
This is not a Facebook dad.
And shall talk of them when thou sittest in thine house,
and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down,
and when thou risest up.
Look, it's your job, mom and dad, to be.
And we realize dads go to work, and we understand that.
But look, it's your job to be with your children.
The Bible says we are to talk of them, of the word of God,
when thou sittest in thine house.
When you're just hanging out at home,
you've got to be talking about the word of God.
You've got to be talking about the things of God.
You've got to be talking about things that pertain to your family.
When thou walkest by the way,
when you're out on some trip somewhere,
when thou liest down before you go to bed,
when thou risest up.
Look, our homes, you say, we want to have a Christian home.
Well, look, if you're going to have a Christian home,
you have to actually be Christians at home.
You need to teach diligently the things that God has taught you
unto your children.
And look, part of it is disciplining them,
and part of it is discipling them.
We must teach them the word of God,
and then we must discipline them to be well behaved.
Just recently, it was my wife's birthday.
We went out somewhere for a birthday,
and we had all our kids with us.
And we're in this area where they had these little shops,
and our kids came into that shop,
and we're all walking in there.
And my wife purchased something, and the lady said,
your kids are very well behaved.
She said, they must get beat a lot.
Older lady.
And the kids kind of smile at each other.
She's like, you don't have to answer that question,
but I can tell.
You know, the funny thing is that we can all tell
when they don't get beat.
You know, I can tell they get beat,
but the funny thing is we can all tell when they don't.
Discipline those kids.
Disciple those kids.
Develop a relationship with those kids.
All this requires time and energy and effort,
but this is what God has called us to do.
And look, our job at Verity Baptist Church
is not to take those kids away from you
and raise them for you.
It's to partner alongside with you
and help you raise them for the glory of God.
We're not trying to take the babies away from you,
take the kids away from you,
take the teens away from you,
take the young adults away from you.
We want them with you.
We want them here.
10 years ago, we started Verity Baptist Church,
and we decided to be a family integrated church.
I didn't know how it would turn out, honestly.
I just knew I'd studied it out,
and that's what the Bible said.
So that's what we were gonna do.
I didn't know if we were gonna just have
crazy church services where nobody could hear anything
because the kids were screaming and yelling.
I didn't know how it was all gonna turn out,
but I can tell you this, 10 years later,
I'm glad we did.
I'll just be honest with you.
I look over at these churches
with their children's ministries
and their Sunday school class and their youth groups,
and I'm not impressed.
We've got kids here.
We've got kids here that go soul winning
and use their talents for the Lord
and love the Lord and walk with God,
and they're not perfect,
and we understand they're stupid
like any other kid is stupid,
but they have, their hearts are right,
and they love the Lord.
I'm not impressed with what the Sunday school's producing,
but you bring these kids into a church
where they get the word of God preached.
They'll be shocked,
or you'll raise a David and a Daniel and an Esther.
And these words which I command thee this day
shall be in thine heart,
and thou shall teach them diligently unto thy children,
and shall talk of them when thou sittest in thine house,
and when thou walkest by the way,
and when thou liest down,
and when thou rises up.
We're a family integrated church.
You say, why?
Because a family integrated church is patterned
after scripture.
We're a family integrated church.
You say, why?
Because a family integrated church
is protective over children.
We're a family integrated church.
You say, why?
Because a family integrated church
is a partner alongside parents,
helping their children be raised
for the glory of God.
I'd like to do this just as we end tonight,
just as a conclusion.
Over the years, my wife and I
have been asked a lot of questions
about being family integrated,
and though it's been a while
since I've preached a sermon like this,
whenever I have preached a sermon like this,
I've always gone through a list,
and I'd like to do it tonight,
just some tips for the family integrated church.
Very practical,
just kind of some dos and don'ts,
some norms,
because sometimes parents have questions,
you know,
what's appropriate and what's not appropriate.
So I'm going to read this to you.
There's about 16 things on this list.
If you've been with us for any amount of time,
you've heard me go through this in the past,
but I'll read this to you as we finish up,
and I might give some commentary as I read.
Number one,
these are family integrated church tips.
You don't have to write these down.
I'll go through them too fast,
and there's too much for you to write down,
but just listen to them,
and if you have any questions,
you can ask me or my wife after the service.
Family integrated church tips.
Number one,
parents must take the time to train their children
to sit quietly at home.
The best time to do this
is during your family's devotional time or Bible time.
The majority of training for church
should be done at home.
You need to train your children to sit.
You say,
I can't get my kids to sit quietly at church.
Well, that's because you're trying to train them at church.
You need to train them at home.
The best time to do it
is a family's devotional or Bible time.
You say,
we don't have a devotional time.
Well, that's another problem.
Number two,
you should have a devotional time.
Read the Bible to your kids.
Your kids can't read.
They're too young to read.
You read to them.
I mean,
we saw that all throughout the scriptures.
Read the Bible.
Read the Bible to your kids.
Number two,
parents must utilize the mother-baby rooms
and the daddy-baby room during the church service
to train their children to sit still and quietly.
We've got three mother-baby rooms
and a daddy-baby room.
Very comfortable.
We have comfortable seating.
We have monitors set up
so you can watch the service and listen to it.
Those rooms are there to help you train the children
to sit still and quietly during the church service.
So parents must utilize the mother-baby rooms
and daddy-baby room during the church service
to train their children to sit still and quietly.
Number three,
parents should not attempt to train their children
or calm down their children while sitting in the auditorium.
This is what the mother-baby rooms
and daddy-baby room are for.
Please use them.
Number four,
parents that are training their children
may find themselves in a transitional phase
where children are not necessarily ready
to sit through an entire service,
but the parents may be trying to train their kids
out of the mother-baby or daddy-baby rooms.
In that case, you may go from the auditorium
to one of the foyers and vice versa.
The point is to try to minimize distractions.
Number five,
parents need to promptly and quickly
remove their children from the auditorium
as soon as the children begin to make a distracting noise.
Please be considerate of others
trying to listen in the auditorium.
Number six,
parents with babies and young children
who are likely to go in and out
of the mother-baby rooms
and daddy-baby room or foyer
need to sit near an exit.
Look, if you're training your kids,
we understand that's fine.
You might come in and out
and in and out a couple of times.
No problem.
Just make sure you sit near an exit
so you can do that quickly.
Number seven,
if you are coming in and out
of a mother-baby or daddy-baby room excessively,
more than two to three times in one church service,
your child may not be ready to sit in the auditorium
and you should stay in the mother-baby rooms
or daddy-baby room after several attempts
in order to minimize distractions.
Number eight,
do not expect a one to two-year-old
to sit still and quietly in the auditorium.
Look, if they do, great.
Some people, they have a baby or one-year-old sitting there
following along with the notes and everything.
Great.
If they do, great.
But look, if they don't, that's fine.
That's normal.
Don't place that pressure on yourself or your baby.
Number nine,
and don't allow somebody else to place that pressure on you too.
Number nine,
begin to actively train a three-year-old
out of the mother-baby rooms or daddy-baby room
in the evening services.
Not necessarily on Sunday mornings
when we usually have most of our guests.
Number 10,
children that are four years old and up
should be expected to sit quietly and still in the auditorium
unless there is a medical reason
why they're not able to.
Number 11,
it is appropriate to allow children
that are one to two years old
based on the maturity level of the child
to play quietly in the mother-baby rooms
or daddy-baby room.
Did you hear that?
Children that are newborns one to two years old,
from newborn to one, two years old,
it's appropriate to let them play quietly
in the mother-baby room.
That's fine.
But you shouldn't allow children of any age
to be screaming or yelling loudly in these rooms.
Number 12,
children that are two to three years old and up,
again, based on the maturity of the child,
should begin to be trained to sit still and quietly
in the mother-baby rooms or daddy-baby room.
This is what these rooms are for.
So you've got a newborn to about a two-year-old.
You take them in there because they're being distracting.
You let them play quietly.
No problem.
You've got a two to a three-year-old.
You want to start using the mother-baby room
to train the children to sit quietly,
to transition them into the auditorium.
By the time they're four or five,
if you're taking your nine-year-old
into the mother-baby room, there's a problem.
Number 13,
new families that did not come
from a family-integrated church background
may have older children
that are not used to sitting through a church service.
That's okay.
Be patient with them.
Now, you know, sometimes families move here
and their kids have been used to being
in a children's church playing and having fun,
you know, and they need some time
to kind of get adjusted.
That's fine.
No problem.
Be patient with them.
Number 14,
parents should not be holding long conversations
or on their phones while in the mother-baby rooms,
daddy-baby rooms or foyers.
I always joke with the moms
that they go in there and play Monopoly
while I'm preaching.
Look, in the mother-baby room and in the daddy room,
you should not be taking a nap,
not be playing on your phone.
You should be setting the example for your kids.
You gotta show the same respect
you would in the auditorium.
Some of you are struggling with your kids
getting them to behave,
and it's like, maybe we can get you to behave.
Maybe you need to set the example for them
in the mother-baby room.
You start, it's fellowship time.
You show up early for church
and that's fellowship time.
You stay late for the service,
that's fellowship time.
You don't fellowship
during the preaching of God's word.
Number 15,
older children that have been sitting quietly
during a church service
should be allowed to play after the service
without getting too rambunctious, of course.
These children were not having fun
in a children's church
like the kids in other churches
while the service was going on.
They should be allowed to play.
Look, we want to allow our kids to play.
Look, right now, as soon as the service is over,
kids are gonna start moving around and playing.
We can't let it get too rambunctious.
We can't let them get on
a full tackle football game going on
in the middle of the auditorium.
But look, it's okay for them to play.
They just sat through an hour and a half of church.
Let them play a little bit.
I'm always worried about these families.
It's like, all the children
were sick quietly the whole time.
The moment we get to church, that's not okay.
You make them sit quietly during church,
and then you let them get up and play a little bit.
We had a playroom, it's okay.
Number 16, if you have no children
or your children are grown,
please be patient and gracious with the young families.
It's real easy for people that don't have kids
to be like, God, those kids.
Once I have kids, well, you don't have kids.
I don't want to hear it, because it's not true.
Your kids are gonna be just as bratty,
just as bratty, just as loud, just as obnoxious.
And then it's really funny when the older folks
who, I never let my kids,
well, we've seen your grown kids.
Let's not even start with that.
Look, if you have no children and your children are grown,
please be patient and gracious with the young families.
It's hard to train kids to sit in church.
Don't get all mad and angry.
Be patient with them.
And if they distract you, sit in the front row.
They won't distract you.
Oftentimes, people will come to a church like this,
and they'll say, I'm so impressed.
I've had so many people, so many people,
come to me and say, I'm so impressed how these kids
just sit during the church service.
I'm so impressed.
Let me tell you something.
That didn't just happen.
We didn't just, you know, we get them all
Kool-Aid with Tylenol in it before the service,
and they're just all mellowed out.
These kids sit there quietly during the church service
as a result of a mom and a dad.
And it's usually mama who is very patient
and coming in and out, in and out, in and out,
sitting them, spanking them, teaching them, training them.
But these kids can be trained, and they can learn,
and they can grow, and they can become great soul winners,
and they can play in the orchestra,
and they can lead music,
and they can preach, and they can do great things for God
in a family-integrated church.
But it takes us to say, let's put in the effort
to teach them, to train them, to be patient with them,
to do what needs to be done.
And by the way, let me just throw this in
when we finish, as we finish.
Dad, help mom.
Help mom.
She shouldn't have to miss every church service,
and she hasn't listened to preaching
in the last five years.
You know, it's hard for me to make that application,
because I'm the one who's constantly preaching.
My wife is like a single mom at church,
because I'm the one that's up here.
But if you're not preaching, and by the way,
when I'm not preaching, I try to take the kids
and give her the opportunity to sit in a church service,
like if she's married.
You know, but dads, step in and help your wife.
We realize she's the mom, and she's the one
that's going to have to deal with it.
But maybe every Sunday night, you take the baby
and let her sit in church.
Every Wednesday night, or do whatever.
Look, it is our job.
It's our job to work at it.
We're family integrated.
Would it be easier to just put all the kids somewhere,
find some brand new volunteer,
some guy who just walked through the door and said,
I want to watch all the kids?
Yeah, that would be easier.
But it wouldn't be the best.
It wouldn't be productive.
And it wouldn't protect them.
So this is why we are a family integrated church,
inspired by our prayer.
Heavenly Father, Lord, thank you for allowing us
to have a family integrated church.
And Lord, I know sometimes it's hard.
Sometimes these kids scream, they scream and yell,
and they're distracting, and it's frustrating.
I get that.
Lord, I pray you'd help us to remember
why we're family integrated.
And Lord, I do thank you for these moms and dads
who work hard at it.
They work with their kids.
We've got a whole auditorium filled with kids right now,
sitting quietly in church.
That didn't just happen.
There's mom and dad there who's been training them,
who's been loving on them,
who's been patient with them.
Lord, I pray you'd help us to continue
to raise this next generation
of Christian warriors for your glory.
We love you.
In the match the same of Christ, we pray.
Amen.