Amen. All right we're there in James chapter number three and of course on
Sunday nights we've been going through this series called Undisciplined and
we've been learning to live a life of discipline. We started this series with a
sermon on the subject of laziness then we talked about tardiness and last time
we were in this series we talked about cleanliness and tonight I was supposed to
preach about gluttony but I'm going to push that back a couple of weeks because
I just didn't think it was right to preach on gluttony and then try to feed
you ice cream and it just would get awkward because most of you would sit
there and not get ice cream and then there's some of you that would get all
the ice cream and it just would get weird so we are gonna push that back
all right so you got a couple of weeks to work off the ice cream for tonight
and so you won't be guilty for the gluttony sermon but tonight I'm
preaching on the subject of our words out of control words because when it
comes to living a disciplined life and or being undisciplined an area that
people are often undisciplined in in fact God gives us an entire passage
about it here in James chapter number three is this area of our words and of
course tonight what I'm gonna teach and preach to you from James chapter 3 is
not anything new you've heard it before you've heard it from me before and I'll
just remind you what we learned in Philippians this morning remember when
Paul said there in chapter 3 and verse 1 he said finally my brethren rejoice in
the Lord to write the same thing to you to me indeed is not grievous but for you
it is safe it's good for you to hear this again it's good for me to hear it
again on this idea of controlling our words and we're gonna see here in this
chapter how the control of our tongue and the control of our words has a lot
to do with the control of our body and discipline of our body and this passage
here James chapter 3 specifically verses 1 through 18 all deal with this
idea of our words and notice he begins the chapter with a warning to those who
lead notice verse 1 he says my brethren be not many masters the word master
there is a reference to a leader someone in charge he says be not many masters he
says he says you know we don't we don't need a lot of leaders and and of course
we need leaders but the idea is that he's saying you you may not want to be
a leader and I believe he's specifically talking here to those in spiritual
leadership spiritual authority he says be not many masters and you say well why
would you tell somebody maybe you don't want to be a preacher a pastor a
spiritual leader who gets up and preaches on a regular basis here's why
he says my brethren be not many masters knowing that we shall receive the
greater condemnation he says and and James here is speaking as a leader
himself he's a pastor of a church and he says you may not want to be a master you
may not want to be a leader a spiritual authority he says because we will
receive the greater condemnation and you know I believe that everything rises and
falls on leadership and leadership is held to a greater standard and a greater
condemnation greater accountability here according to James chapter 3 in
verse 1 and then notice what he says in verse 2 he says he says why would we
receive the greater condemnation here's here's why for in many things we offend
all he says here's why you might want to be careful now remember the purpose of
this passage is all about our words our tongue how we use our words and then he
says you may not want to be a pastor you may not want to be a preacher you may
not want to be someone that stands up and speaks in front of people for a
living you say why he says because we will receive the greater condemnation
he says for many things we offend all he says look the word offend means to upset
or to cause someone to be resentful and he says when when you are a preacher we
tend to offend people and many things we offend all he says and the truth the
matter is this then that that is absolutely the case you know here in
September my wife and I will be celebrating 11 years in ministry and for
the last 11 years I've stood up and preached three times a week not every
week but the vast majority of weeks three times a week for about an hour on
average every week and the truth is this that you cannot get up and speak for
three hours on average a week for 12 months for 11 years and not offend
somebody and not say something that's offensive and that's rude and I'm not
just talking about preaching the Word of God obviously the Word of God offends
people but I'll just be honest with you over the last 11 years of ministry there
have been things that I I've said that I regretted saying there have been things
that I said even things that were correct what I said was right but maybe
how I said it could have been better and how I expressed it could have been
better and you know the only thing I would say to you in regards to that is
you know put yourself in the preacher's shoes before you know it's funny how
people often they want to criticize you and just keep you you know well you said
this you know and and you said Job and you met in Jonah or you said Noah and
you met you know whatever and I just realized that if you got up and spoke
for three hours a week for 11 years we'd probably find a lot of stupid
things you said and things you could have said better and things that you
should you maybe should not have said or things like that and notice he says here
in verse 2 he says for in many things we offend all if any man to offend not in
word I notice what he says now he says look he says we're all gonna fan if you
get up and preach three times a week for years and years and years you're gonna
say things maybe you shouldn't have said or things you should have said but you
could have said them differently or whatever then he says this he says if
any man offend not in word he said if somebody has learned to control their
tongue so that they don't offend people he says the same is a perfect man the
word perfect means that they are complete they are mature they are whole
they're mature in their Christian walk when somebody look when when somebody is
able to have a talk and a communication and maybe even disagree with somebody
and and do it in a way that is not offensive that's not rude that's not
arrogant what you're looking at is a mature individual when people get down
to the place where they have to start you know getting hostile and angry when
they're talking here James says that that is immaturity he says if any man
offend not in word the same as a perfect man and then he says this he
says and able also to bridle the whole body see he's speaking about this idea
of controlling our words of controlling our tongue and he gives us three ideas
in this passage and I'm gonna break it down for you tonight and we'll have ice
cream afterwards all right and let me give you just a few thoughts here and if
you're writing down some notes and I would encourage you to jot down some
notes then you can write these things down when it comes to controlling our
words and look all of us struggle with this everybody struggles with this the
the the the struggle of controlling our tongue the struggle of not saying things
we shouldn't say is a real thing and what James speaks about here and the
first thing that he points out and if you're writing things down you can jot
this down he says number one we should control our words our words is something
that we should attempt or have a goal of controlling bringing it into control and
here's what he says he says if you can control your tongue you can control
everything else in your life the hardest thing for you to control is your tongue
and if you can learn to control your tongue then you won't have a problem
with a sermon on finances you won't have a problem with a sermon on tardiness
you won't have a problem with a sermon on gluttony you won't have a problem
with a sermon on on time management you won't have a problem with a sermon on
laziness because he says look the hardest thing to control in your life is
your tongue and if you can learn to control your tongue you can control the
rest of your body and the rest of your life notice there verse 2 for many
things we offend all if any man offend not in word the same as a perfect man
and able also to bridle you see that word bridle the word bridle is a term
used when it comes to horses or horseback riding and a bridle is the
headgear used to control a horse to bring a horse under control he says that
he is able he says the same as a perfect man the man that can offend not in words
he's able also to bridle the whole body here's what he said and the Apostle Paul
is using this illustration of a horse and he's saying it's interesting how we
control the entire body of a horse by taking control of the horse's mouth and
he says and when we can learn to take control of our mouths we can learn to
take control of our lives you're there in James chapter 3 go back to James
chapter 1 just real quickly if you would look at verse 26 he brought this up
earlier in the book James 1 and verse 26 if any man among you seem to be
religious notice he says if somebody looks like the real religious but and
bridle is not his tongue he says but but deceive of his own heart this man's
religion is vain he says look when somebody is unable to bridle their
tongue when they are unable to bring their tongue into control he says they
may look religious but they're not they may look mature but they're not he says
this man's religion is vain it's empty it's without substance why because
religion and and and and religion in our life ought to affect how we deal with
and treat people and the biggest way we deal with and treat people is with our
tongues go back to James chapter 3 look at verse 3 notice the illustration of
the horse that he gives he says behold we put bits in the horse's mouth that
they may obey us and we turn about their whole body he says we we put a bit in
the mouth of a horse and it gives us the ability to control the entire body of
the horse he gives us example and then he gives another example of verse 4 he
says behold also the ships which though they be so great are driven a fierce
winds yet they are turned about with a very small helm he says you can have
this big ship and have this small helm and have this small piece of the helm
control and turn about this entire ship then notice the last part of verse 4
there he says whithersoever the governor listed he said the governor the the
person in charge the word listed means as they please or as they desire he says
the he can control this entire ship by controlling just a very small helm we
can control this strong potentially dangerous animal called a horse if you
can get control of its mouth he says that if you can control your tongue you
can control everything else go back to James 1 look at verse 19 James 1 in
verse 19 now we James 1 19 is a verse we reference a lot around here and in James
1 19 he says this wherefore my beloved brethren let every man be swift to hear
slow to speak then he says this slow to wrath so what does it mean to be in
control of your words well here's what it means it means that the words that
come out of your mouth are words that you allowed out of your mouth you know
there's not this idea where you you say something and you're like I shouldn't
have said that you say something and then you immediately regret it or you
say something you say I was just I was just angry and I was out of control see
to control your tongue means that nothing that you shouldn't say comes out
you restrain you keep it in keep your place there in James chapter 3 that's
our text for tonight go with me if you would to the book of Proverbs in the Old
Testament Proverbs chapter number 10 if you open your Bible just right in the
center you're more than likely following the book of Psalms right after Psalms
you have the book of Proverbs Proverbs chapter number 10 look at verse number
19 Proverbs chapter 10 and verse 19 Proverbs 10 19 see one of our problems
and and this includes me one of the biggest problems we have is that we just
talk too much Proverbs 10 19 says this in the multitude of words there wanteth
not sin the word want or want means wanteth not means a lack of or when you
want something is when you desire something when you're lacking something
he says in the multitude of words there wanteth not sin here's what that means
he says when you have somebody saying a lot of things the more you talk the more
you speak you're probably gonna say something you shouldn't say you're
probably gonna say something that's sinful in the multitude of words there
wanteth not sin but he that refraineth what does it mean to refrain it means to
control it means to stop it means to stop oneself the same idea as a bit in
the horse's mouth where we can restrain it we can stop him from doing what we
want him to do he says he that refraineth his lips notice these words is
wise when we are able to stop our mouths when we're able to stop though the words
from coming out then your religious James would say then you're perfect he
would say then you're mature he would say then you're a mature Christian go to
Proverbs 17 Proverbs 17 look at verse 27 Proverbs 17 this verse 27 if you've
read the book of Proverbs you know this is a big big major theme in the book of
Proverbs this idea that we talk too much Proverbs 17 verse 27 the Bible says this
he that hath knowledge he that hath knowledge spareth his words the word
spare means to stop to not put in use look do you realize that you don't have
to say everything you think you don't have to give every opinion you have you
don't have to make every everything you feel and how you feel about things clear
to everybody you don't know nothing in the Bible says you have you know people
get this idea well I just have to tell people how I feel no you don't well I
just have to tell my because I'm not a hypocrite nobody said you shutting your
mouth makes you a hypocrite nothing in the Bible says that you must make every
opinion known and everything must be put out there he that hath knowledge the
Bible says spareth his words and a man of understanding is of an excellent
spirit look at verse 28 even a fool when he hold of this piece is counted wise
even a fool the Bible says when they refrain their lips when they stop
talking even a fool when he shuts his mouth it's kind of wise and he that
shutted his lips is esteemed a man of understanding go to Proverbs 21 look at
verse 23 Proverbs 21 and verse 23 Proverbs 21 23 says this who so keepeth
his mouth who so keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from
troubles the more we keep our mouth the more we guard our mouth the more we
control our mouth and our tongue we keep our soul from trouble Proverbs 29 look
at verse 20 Proverbs 29 20 notice what the Bible says see is thou a man that is
hasty in his words now remember what did James say he said be
swifty here slow to speak slow to wrath here we're told see is thou a man that
is hasty in his words there is more hope of a fool than of him often times
when we are trying to help people and look this issue of your tongue it will
permeate into every area of your life it can hurt your marriage it can hurt your
child rearing it can hurt your career it can hurt your your church life and your
family life it can hurt your extended family life look any area of your life
can be affected by this idea of the tongue and oftentimes you know we try
to help individuals with these things and and and the question you know that
that often pops in my head and that sometimes I ask and sometimes I don't
because sometimes you know even a fool when he hold it as peace is counted wise
but uh you know so the question I often ask myself is why did you have to say
that why did you have to ask that question why did you have to make that
comment why did you need to post that statement or whatever you know I don't
know what you call that on social media why see is thou a man that is hasty in
his words there is more hope of a fool than of him go back to James chapter 3
if you were keep your place in Proverbs we're going to come back to it so James
is teaching us about out of control words and out of control speech and out
of control tongues and he says we should control our words we should learn to
control our words you say why here's why because if you can control your tongue
you can control the rest of your life you can control your body just like if
you can control the mouth of a of a horse you can control the horse if you
can control your mouth if I can control my mouth I can control my self and then
he also says this and this is where he what we need to understand he says you
can only control your tongue through God you cannot control it on your own James
chapter 3 look at verse 7 notice what he says for every kind of beast and of
birds and of serpents and of things in the sea is tamed here is a testament to
mankind he says human beings have learned to tame every type of beast
birds and serpents and things in the sea I mean we have learned to capture them
we have learned to restrain them we have learned to to to put them out for
display we have learned to teach them how to dance and we've learned to teach
them how to do shows I mean you can go anywhere in this world and find horses
that are dancing, lions that are dancing, elephants that are dancing, whales that are doing
tricks for you James says for every kind of beast and of birds and of serpents
and of things in the sea is tamed and has been tamed of mankind then he says
this but the tongue can no man tame it is an unruly evil full of deadly poison
he says the only thing that man cannot tame is his tongue without God he said
with God we can do anything with God we can do everything well with God we can
learn to be mature and to grow and to control our tongue but James begins this
idea here of controlling your words and out of control words and and you see how
it has to do with being disciplined because he says when you can learn to
control your words you can learn to control your body you can learn to
control your emotions we'll talk about that next week you can learn to control
every area of your life so he says we should control our words then he makes
another statement if you're taking notes I'd like you to write this down not only
should we control our words but we should also be cautious with our words
see the truth of the matter is this that there is great power in your words
James chapter 3 look at verse 5 even so the tongue because remember he just got
done telling us you control this massive beast a horse by bridling its mouth he
says you can control this huge ship with this small helm then he says this even
so the tongue is a little member he says your tongue in comparison to the
rest of your body is not that big he says it's a little body part it's a
little member and he says even so the tongue is a little member and boast is
great things isn't it funny how we use our tongues to boast to brag he says
behold how great a matter a little fire kindleth and here he uses another
illustration and we should be familiar with this living in Northern California
he says look it doesn't take a lot it just takes a little fire it just takes a
little spark it just takes a little bit to cause a big fire he says and that's
that's what your tongue is like that's what my tongue is like how great a
matter a little fire kindleth he says in verse 6 and the tongue is a fire I mean
notice notice the way that James describes the tongue my tongue your
tongue the tongue is a fire a world of iniquity so is the tongue among our
members that it defileth the whole body and set it on fire the course of nature
and is set on fire of hell it is the tongue that has brought wars it is the
tongue that has brought divorce it is the tongue that has broken families it
is a tongue that has broken relationships that has broken parent and
child relationships it is the tongue the out of control tongue how great a matter
a little fire kindleth and verse 7 he says for every kind of beast and of
birds and of serpents and of things in the sea is tamed that have been tamed of
mankind but the tongue can no man tame it is an unruly it it doesn't want to be
brought under control it is an unruly evil full of deadly poison see James
says we must learn to control our tongues and we must learn to be
cautious with our tongue you say why because look please understand this your
tongue is very dangerous it's it's it's a small it's a little member but how
great a matter a little fire kindleth go back to Proverbs if you would if you
would Proverbs chapter 12 Proverbs chapter 12 if there's if there's one
thing I teach a lot about relationships and relational maturity and parenting
and and and and marriage and all those things when it comes to relationships if
there was one thing if I could if I could just you know snap my finger and
and change people in one area this is the area I would change them in if I
could get people to get to the place where they're willing to put in the work
to actually control their words it would change everything you say why
here's why because your tongue is powerful there is great power in your
words you can destroy or build up with your words Proverbs 12 look at verse 18
Proverbs chapter 12 in verse 18 notice what Proverbs says there is that
speaketh notice this there is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword
think about that for a minute mom is that how you want your kids to
think of you dad is that how you want your kids to think of you when you open
your mouth it is like a sword piercing them so you want your wife to think of
you is that how you want your husband to think of you it is like a sword
piercing he says there is here he says there are some people that speaketh you
you would think he's talking about some sort of a dragon or some sort of beast
he says there is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword but the tongue of
the wise is held Proverbs 15 in verse 1 notice what he says Proverbs 15 if you
turn over just a few chapters to verse 1 you know the verse but let's look at it
together notice the power of the tongue he says a soft answer turneth the way
round but grievous words stir up anger you know that your response with your
words can either destroy or build up it can it can stop the fire or it can
create a bigger fire Proverbs 16 and verse 24 if you would look at verse just
flip one chapter over Proverbs 16 and verse 24 notice what the Bible says
pleasant words are as in honeycomb sweet to the soul and health to the bones your
words how you speak to people how you make them feel how you communicate to
them it can be like the piercings of a sword or it can be as a honeycomb sweet
to the soul and health to the bones which one are you which one do you want
to be Proverbs 18 look at verse 21 Proverbs 18 and verse 21 Proverbs 18 21
says this death and life are in the power of the tongue I mean think about
that statement your tongue has the power to breathe life into your wife your
husband your children or death and they that love it shall eat the fruit
thereof see we must be very cautious with our words because our words are
powerful because our words hold a lot of power especially and obviously the
words of everybody are important but especially let me just talk to you dads
for a minute I don't know why I don't understand why I know it's true I know
it's very true it's it the Bible says it and but even more than that it's been
studied out and researched the words of a father to their to his children are
very heavy they're very important I don't understand why that's so I can
tell you this there must be a reason why God chose to reveal himself as God the
father there's something about the position of a father and there's
something about the words of a father that can be very heavy upon our children
death and life are in the tongue or the in the power of the tongue and we must
be careful and I just fathers all of us but we must be careful in our positions
of influence to make sure that we're cautious with our words we should be
cautious because our words are powerful we should be cautious because our words
can bring much destruction or they can bring much healing go back to Proverbs
chapter 3 if you would Proverbs chapter 3 James says we should control our words
he says if you can control your tongue you can control everything else and then
he reminds us that we can only control our tongues through God through the
yielding of the Holy Spirit it is in your flesh that your tongue gets out of
control it is in your flesh that you say things that you regret it is in your
flesh that you we play this tick-tack tick-tack type of game where they hurt
us we're gonna hurt them back and they said something means we're gonna be even
meaner the sad thing is that oftentimes marriages they play this game where it's
like they're trying to outdo each other and who can say the meanest most hurtful
most nastiest thing just remember when you're there you're in your flesh it's
not of God we should control our words he says that we should be cautious with
our words why because there's great power in our words our words can destroy
or they can build up they can bring death or they can bring hell and then
James says this he says we should be consistent with our words not only should
we control them not only should we be cautious but he says we should be
consistent notice what he says there in verse 9 he says therewith in reference
to our tongue he says therewith and and he's going to give us an example of
inconsistency when we lack consistency he says therewith bless we God even the
Father and therewith curse we men which are made after the similitude of God
he said James says it's interesting how on a Sunday morning we use our tongue to
say hey brother God bless you and use that same tongue to yell at your spouse
on the way home to curse at your spouse on the way home to tell your spouse how
worthless they are how ugly they are how stupid they are how terrible they are he
says therewith bless we God even the Father and therewith curse we men which
are made in the similitude of God you say why should I why why should I treat
my children like dirt why should I treat my spouse like dirt why should I treat
other church members like dirt hey here's why cuz God made them cuz they've
been made in the image of God in the similitude of God he says in verse 10
out of the same mouth proceedeth blessings and cursings and then he says
my brethren these things are not so to be he said it's not right that the same
tongue that blesses God curses men and then he gives us an illustration from
nature he's been doing that in verse 11 he says that the fountain sent forth at
the same place sweet water and bitter can you find a body of water and it's
going to both have salt water and fresh water he says in nature you don't see
these things intermixing either the ocean is filled with salt water and the
lake is filled with fresh water but you do not you don't find a fountain you
don't find a source of water that is producing both sweet and bitter water he
says can a fig tree my brethren bear olive berries either a vine fig he says
you don't find a plant that is producing different types of things he says so can
no fountain both yield salt water and fresh and the idea that he's saying is
this that our tongues should not be the source of both blessings and cursings he
says you don't find you don't find a spring you don't find a fountain that
produces both sweet water and bitter that yields both salt water and fresh
and he says your tongue and my tongue should be the same way it should not be
the source of blessings one day and the source of cursings another day they
should not be the source of blessings one minute and the source of cursings
another minute he said we should allow we should we should control our tongues
in such a way that only blessings come out that only that which is good comes
out that only that which is right comes out go with me to Colossians chapter 3
if you would Colossians chapter 3 you're there and you're in James so just just
go back you got Matthew Mark Luke John X Romans first second Corinthians
Galatians Ephesians Philippians Colossians Colossians chapter number
3 first second Corinthians Galatians Ephesians Philippians Colossians
Colossians chapter 3 notice what he says in verse 8 but now you also put off all
these he says these are things that we should not have in our lives as
Christians as Christians we should not have these things characterize our lives
or be a habit in our lives we understand that from time to time people we're all
going to get angry and we're all going to say things and do things we shouldn't
do but he says these are not should not be things that we're known for that we
put on he says put these things off notice he says but now you also put off
all these things he says anger wrath malice blasphemy then he says this
filthy communication filthy communication out of your mouth he said
you should put out there look there's some things that shouldn't come out of
your mouth they should never come out of your mouth and look you say well what
kind of things here's a good rule of thumb if you wouldn't say it in front of
your mother you shouldn't say it you should if you wouldn't say it in front
of your pastor you wouldn't say it I was we're joking around recently at dinner
and we're talking about the fact that you know unfortunately it seems like I
don't know very Baptist Church unfortunately for my wife and I one of
the detriments of being a pastor and a pastor's wife is that you never actually
get to know the people you pastor because everybody always puts on a show
in front of the pastor and the pastor's wife one of these days I'm going to come
to a red-hot preaching conference disguised like somebody else and I'm
going to take you guys all out to dinner and I'm going to get to know who you
really are because everybody always puts on the best act the best show in
front of the pastor and in front of the the pastor's wife and it's funny how all
the couples get along really well in front of the pastor and the pastor's
wife and all of the children are very well behaved in front of the pastor and
the pastor's wife and all the dads are the greatest dads in front of the pastor
and the pastor's wife and all the moms are the greatest mom in front of the
pastor and the pastor's wife well let me just say something to you if that's how
you act in front of the pastor the pastor's wife just act like that all
the time just be nice to each other all the time just pull out her chair all the
time and it's the mother's better than yourself all the time don't let it be a
show just be real just do it because our tongues should not be the source of
hypocrisy you don't think your kids see that you don't think your kids know that
you're driving to church yelling at each other cussing at each other you come in
through the parking lot hey brother God bless you hallelujah praise the Lord you
don't think your kids are here that's hypocrisy that's not real our tongues
should be consistent our tongues should be the source of blessing look look you
should be real all the time who doesn't matter who's watching by the way let me
let you know a little secret for those of you that care so much about how the
pastor how you act in front of the pastor the pastor's wife you know the
pastor the pastor's wife aren't God and pastor the pastor's wife aren't watching
you 24 hours a day seven days a week but guess who is God the Bible says that the
eyes of the Lord on every place beholding the evil and the good so with
our words we should be consistent we should only allow blessings to come out
of our mouths we should put away filthy communication out of our mouths go to
Colossians chapter 4 look at verse 6 Colossians chapter 4 in verse 6 he says
this let your speech be all way with grace all way with grace we talked about
that recently I think I'm job serious or something word grace means unmerited
favor it means you're getting you you're getting something you don't deserve it
literally means you're getting something you did not earn or you did
not pay for it means free that's what the word grace means it's important to
us because we often use it in the context of salvation for by grace are
you saved through faith and that not of yourselves it is a gift of God not a
word so as any man should boast what does that mean it means that when I got
saved I didn't earn it I didn't pay for it I didn't deserve it I got it by grace
unmerited favor it resembles mercy in the opposite way mercy is when I
don't get what I do deserve I deserve to be punished and I don't get punished
that's mercy grace is when I do get what I don't deserve I don't deserve heaven
but I get it like Paul said being found in Christ through his righteousness I
didn't earn it but I got it as a gift and then Paul uses that word that word
that is often used in a in a theological salvation context of getting something
you don't deserve that word grace and he says that's how your speech should be to
other people let your speech be all way with grace you say well he doesn't
deserve for me to give him respect right but you didn't deserve salvation and you
got it by grace so let your speech be always with grace well they don't see
she doesn't deserve for me to be loving towards her right but you didn't deserve
for God to love you either and you got that by grace so let your speech be
always with grace they they they don't deserve for me to be nice they don't
deserve for me to be kind they don't deserve for me to say to not make them
feel like garbage hey all of that may be true but the truth is this you didn't
deserve heaven you deserved hell you deserve to die and go to hell as a
result of your sin God gave you something you didn't deserve he gave you
unmerited favor and God says we should give that same grace to others through
our speech let your speech be all way with grace by the way you you can't let
your speech be always with grace if you're not using your speech to preach
the grace of salvation out soul winning let your speech be all way with grace
and he says this season with salt that means it tastes good salt is something
you use on food in order to make it taste good make it take you get some
flavor he says your speech to be graceful and it should be tasteful that
you may know how you ought to answer every man go back to Ephesians if you
would you're there in Colossians if you go backwards you've got Philippians and
then Ephesians Ephesians chapter number four we're talking about controlling our
words we should control our words why because our words hold a lot of power
and when we can control our words we can control everything else but we have to
realize that we can only control our words through God we should be cautious
with our words why because there's great power in our words our words can destroy
or build up our words can bring death or life our words can can can cause
people to feel like they are being attacked or they can cause them to feel
like they are being given health and they said we should be consistent with
our words our words should shouldn't shouldn't our our tongues should not be
the source of both blessings and cursings when we can control our tongues
and be cautious with our tongues we can be consistent with our tongues now let
me just real quickly just by way of conclusion give you three rules and in
regards to your speech and you you know these rules I've taught you these rules
over the years and it's good for you to be reminded to write the same thing to
you to me indeed is not grievous but for you it is safe it's good for us to be
reminded of these things you say what are they when Ephesians chapter 4 and
verse 29 the Bible says this let no corrupt communication proceed out of
your mouth by the way somebody needs to memorize that let no corrupt
communication proceed out of your mouth but that which is good to the use of
edifying that it may minister grace unto the hearers in this passage we find
these three questions that we should ask three questions that we should ask
ourselves you say how can I be cautious with my words how can I control my words
how can I be consistent with my words how how can somebody do that I mean we
can tame lions but I can't tame my tongue here's the thing you can tame
your tongue with God's help and you can tame your tongue by putting this verse
into practice three questions we should ask three questions we should ask before
we say something you ever been there well you're just kind of ready to say
something and you're wondering you know should I say should I not say some of
you're like no I've never had that feeling well yeah that's the problem but
hopefully you'll get to the place where you'll start asking that question you
should ask these three questions now I've taught this before and I feel like
people have misunderstood it and I think they misunderstood it on purpose so let
me just be clear you don't answer these three questions like I just answer one
of these questions and I'm good to know to go no you must answer all three
questions in the affirmative you say what are they number one is it true
notice he says let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth
the word corrupt means with error or dishonesty it means it's gone bad it's
not right the Bible says we should not allow corrupt communication to proceed
out of our mouth so we should ask ourselves look before you speak you
gotta ask yourself before you make a statement you ought to ask yourself is
it true is it true this will often stop us from spreading gossip well let me
tell you what I heard let me tell you this rumor I heard well you don't know
if that's true the Bible says let no corrupt communication proceed out of
your mouth so we had to ask ourselves and look obviously as human beings we
don't always all say everything right and correct and have all the details but
by and large we should attempt to control our tongues and be cautious with
our tongues and be consistent with our tongues and we can do that by asking
this question is it true is what I'm gonna say correct let no corrupt
communication proceed out of your mouth then here's the second question is it
kind is it kind notice there at the last part of verse 29 he says that it may
minister grace remember the word grace unmerited undeserved favor that it may
minister grace unto the here see our words we should not allow words to come
out of our mouth that are corrupt and when they do come out of our mouths they
should minister grace so you gotta ask yourself is it true is it kind see we
often as fundamental Baptist we get this idea like well I'm gonna tell the truth
you know you can tell the truth and not be a jerk about it Paul talked about
giving the truth in love preaching the truth in love he said he said am I
therefore become your enemy because I tell you the truth look if people are
gonna get mad at you and get offended let them get mad at you because you told
them the truth but don't let them get mad at you because of how you told them
the truth we like to say oh people are against us because of our position but
it is often our disposition that they are against so you gotta ask yourself
is it true is what I'm saying true then you gotta ask yourself is it kind am I
saying it maybe it's not what they want to hear and look sometimes the faithful
are the wounds of a friend the Bible says sometimes we as friends and
sometimes as a pastor I have to tell people things they don't want to hear
and I you said what do you do I tell the truth but I say it in a kind way is it
true is it kind here's the third question is it necessary notice the
middle part there verse 20 and 29 but that which is good to the use of edify
is what I'm going to say gonna build them up is it going to edify means to
build up is it going to build them up is it going to be helpful or is it going
to hurt them is there a re is there a purpose for what I'm saying do I need to
say this is it necessary see before you speak before I speak we should put a bit
in our mouth you say what what's that bit it's these three questions is it
true is it kind is it necessary and it's not no well pastor here I got you what I
said it was true no but is it true and kind and necessary well it wasn't
necessary but it was true but if it wasn't necessary they don't need to say
it well it wasn't true but you know I felt like they needed it well you
shouldn't say it that's what all the gossip saying I'm not sure if it's true
but I think you need to hear this you really need to hear this you had to
answer all these questions in the affirmative is it true is it kind is it
necessary by the way if you ever feel the need to apologize you got to ask
yourself for you know what I said was it true was it kind was it necessary we
must take inventory of our tongues we must learn to control our tongue see
when it comes to the discipline life we must learn to control our tongues why
because James says James says that it is your tongue that tells us about your
religion it is your tongue that tells us about your maturity it is your tongue
and the control of your tongue that tells us how about it how good of a
Christian you really are so we should learn to control our tongues we should
be cautious with our tongues we should be consistent with our tongues and we
can do that by answering these questions is it true is it kind is it necessary
do I need to say this if I'm gonna say it what's the nicest kindest way of
doing it am I speaking the truth is it true is it kind is it necessary we must
learn to control our tongues this by our heads and I'm a word of prayer Heavenly
Father thank you Lord for this passage in James and thank you for these verses
and these principles and Lord I pray that you would help us to learn to
control our words we cannot we cannot be disciplined people if we do not learn to
control our tongues how we speak to people how we speak to our spouse to our
children to our co-workers to our fellow church members what I pray that you would
help us to learn to control our words and as we'll talk about next week learn
to control our emotions in Jesus name we pray amen