["In the Hall of the Mountain King"]
Amen. Good morning. Welcome to Verity Baptist Church this morning. We're glad you're with us.
And we have a wonderful service lined up for you today.
I do want you to keep our church in prayer. We've got several families out sick,
so pray that everybody gets better and gets back to church soon.
But we'll have a good time with those of you that are here.
So let's go ahead and begin the service with a word of prayer. Let's bow our heads together.
Heavenly Father, Lord, we do love you, and we thank you for allowing us to gather together today.
Lord, we pray that you would bless the service this morning and the service this evening.
We ask that everything that's done today would bring honor and glory to your name.
Lord, we do pray for the families that are not feeling well,
pray you'd help them to recover and get back soon.
In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.
Turn to song 191.
191.
191 on the first.
I have a song that Jesus gave me
It was said from hand above
There never was a sweeter melody
Tis the melody of love
In my heart there rings a melody
There rings a melody with heaven's harmony
In my heart there rings a melody
There rings a melody of love
I love the Christ who died on Calvary
For he washed my sins away
He put within my heart a melody
And I know it's real to say
In my heart there rings a melody
There rings a melody with heaven's harmony
In my heart there rings a melody
There rings a melody of love
We're singing it out on the last.
To be my endlessly made glory
With the angels I will sing
To be a song with glorious harmony
From the courts of heaven
Sing it out.
In my heart there rings a melody
There rings a melody with heaven's harmony
In my heart there rings a melody
There rings a melody of love
Amen.
All right.
Well, let's take our bulletins.
We'll look at some announcements this morning.
If you do not have a bulletin,
just raise your hand and one of our ushers
can get one for you.
If you need a bulletin,
just put your hand up and we will get one for you.
The verse this week, Proverbs 21, 23,
who so keepeth his mouth and his tongue,
keepeth his soul from troubles.
And that's a good verse there.
We like that.
If you open up your bulletin,
you'll see our service times,
Sunday morning service, 1030 a.m.
We're glad you're with us, of course,
on Sunday morning on the Lord's day for church,
Sunday evening service at 6 p.m.
We do invite you to be back out
for the evening service.
The evening service is different
than the morning service,
different songs that are sung,
different sermon that is preached.
Just one more opportunity to be in God's house
with God's people under the preaching
of the word of God.
And then, of course, we have our Wednesday
evening Bible study at 7 p.m.
and we'd love for you to join us
on Wednesday night for the Wednesday night Bible study.
If you look at our soul-winning times,
our main soul-winning time is on Saturday mornings
at 10 a.m.
We'd love for you to join us for soul-winning.
Soul-winning is when we go out in the community,
we knock doors, we invite people to church,
and we preach the gospel to anyone who's interested.
We also have additional soul-winning times
on Thursdays, Fridays, and Sundays at 2 p.m.
So if you'd like to go soul-winning this afternoon,
there will be an opportunity for you
to be able to do that.
If you are a first-time guest,
if it's your first time here at Verity Baptist Church,
we're glad you're with us.
We have a gift we'd like to give you
as you walk out of the church building this morning
as you go out our main foyer,
or if you go out our secondary foyer,
you'll see a little table set up,
and on that table, you'll see these little gift bags.
Please grab one on your way out
as a gift from us to you for being our guest this morning.
There are several resources in this bag
that we'd like you to have.
The one I like to highlight is this documentary
called Being Baptist.
It's a documentary that our church made.
It's very well-made, very interesting.
We think you'll like it.
We want to give this to you as a gift,
so please make sure you don't leave here this morning
without grabbing a gift bag on your way out.
And if you are a guest,
we'd ask that you please take a moment
and fill out the communication card,
which is inserted in your bulletin.
If you need a pen, just raise your hand,
and one of our ushers will bring you by
a Verity Baptist Church pen.
We're not going to do anything odd with your info.
We're not going to sell it to anybody or anything like that.
We would just like to have a record of your attendance.
We actually would like to send you a little gift
but we need your information to do that,
so please take a moment to fill the card out.
When we're done with the announcements,
we're going to sing a song.
When we're done singing, we're going to receive the offering,
and as the offering plate goes by,
you can drop this card in the offering plate,
or you can hand it to me after the service.
I'll be standing at the main door
greeting people on the way out.
If you look at our bulletin there,
we, of course, are a family-integrated church.
What that means is that children and infants
are always welcome in the service.
We do not separate children from their parents for any reason.
We do have mother-baby rooms and daddy rooms
available for your convenience.
All of the rooms have comfortable seating.
They have monitor setups.
You can watch the service and listen to it.
So if you have a child that's being distracting
during the service, or if you need some privacy,
we would encourage you to use the mother-baby rooms
or the daddy room.
If you're not sure where those are at,
you can look at the back of the bulletin
and you'll see a layout of our church building.
It'll show you where the mother-baby rooms are,
where the daddy room is.
It'll show you where the restrooms are.
If you look at the announcements, of course,
if you need to be baptized, please let us know.
We'd love to baptize you.
The baptistry's actually filled and the water's warm,
and we've got everything you need to be baptized.
Shirts and shorts and robes and towels and hair dryers,
whatever you need, we've got it.
So you can go about it a couple of ways.
If you'd like to speak to somebody about baptism,
maybe you don't know if you need to be baptized
or what it means to be baptized, on your communication card,
you can check off that you'd like information about baptism,
and we'll follow up with you and talk to you about that.
Maybe you've already spoken to somebody,
you know you need to be baptized,
and then all you need to do is at the end of the service,
while we're singing the last song, after the preaching,
if you step out that door, one of our staff guys
will meet you there, and we can get you situated
for baptism this morning or tonight
or whenever it is convenient for you.
If you look at the announcements and upcoming events,
of course, we've got our sermon series
that we're going through.
On Sunday mornings, we're still in a series called Judgment.
Sunday nights, we're in a series called Declaring Doctrine.
On Wednesday nights, we are in a chapter-by-chapter study
through the book of Amos.
And then the big announcement that I want you
to just be aware of is the Next Generation Youth Rally.
It's just about a week away, and this is a conference
that we are putting on for teens.
It is Tuesday, March 7th, and Wednesday, March 8th.
This is the first year that we've done.
We've done the Red Hot Preaching Conference every year in July
for about eight years now, and we have people that come
from all over the country and all over the world
for the Red Hot Preaching Conference,
but this is the first year that we are doing
the Next Generation Youth Rally.
And so far, we've got about 60 teens that have registered
for the Next Generation Youth Rally,
over 150 people that are coming from all over the country
when you count their parents and family that is coming with them.
So it's going to be a great time.
We've been working hard and preparing,
and I think the kids are going to have a good time.
And I want to encourage you to be in prayer
for the Next Generation Youth Rally.
I also just want to make sure that you understand,
because I get a lot of questions about this,
so I just want to make sure you understand.
Everyone is invited to the evening services.
So the morning, if you go on our website
or you see on our social media, you'll see the schedule.
Obviously, a lot of that is for the delegates that have registered,
but for the evening services, anybody's welcome to come.
The services start at 7 p.m., and the first night,
Pastor Steve Anderson from Faithful Word Baptist Church
is going to be preaching.
So if you'd like to hear Pastor Anderson preach,
you're welcome to be here for the Tuesday night service
at 7 p.m.
Obviously, the service will be geared towards the teens.
We're going to have competitions and games for them,
and the preaching will be geared towards the teens,
but anybody's welcome to come, and we'd love for you to come.
So make sure that you, if you can, that you're here
on Tuesday night, March 7th, for the 7 p.m. service
for Pastor Anderson.
I'll be preaching on Wednesday, March 8th, at 7 p.m.,
and it's going to be a great time.
So I just want to make sure everybody, you know,
because sometimes people think, like,
oh, can only teenagers come?
Anybody's welcome to come for the evening services,
and I hope you're aware of that.
Also, we have, all the ladies are invited to a baby shower
for Miss Skylar Thompson on Saturday, March 18th, at 3 p.m.,
and Miss Skylar is having a girl,
and she is registered on Amazon.
It is a potluck, so if you can, please bring a dish to share,
and if you'd like to attend, please sign up
on your communication card.
And then, of course, we want you to know about
the vision offering coming up on Sunday, March 26th.
And the vision offering is a special offering
that our church takes every spring.
It allows us to do a lot of special things,
and we want you to be aware that the vision offering is coming.
You should have one of these cards in your bulletin.
I'd like for you to just take a moment to look through it
and to just notice there that our vision offering this year
is sending March 26th, and we are raising money
for a lot of the same things that we've been raising money
for the last several years.
Of course, the first is to continue to save
for a down payment for a future building.
And our church would like to, at some point,
be in the place where we could purchase our own property
and have our own building that we're not renting or leasing,
and we've got a goal to be able to raise
a certain amount of money to do that,
and we're going to continue to work towards that goal.
And that's obviously the number one main goal
for the vision offering, but that's not it.
We also want to continue to support our current
church plants and satellites.
We've got three churches, one in Manila in the Philippines,
in Pampanga, also in the Philippines, and Bicol.
All three are in the Philippines,
and these are three congregations
that our church supports.
Of course, through our missionary,
our evangelist, Matthew Stuckey, we support him full time
in the Philippines, and the vision offering
helps towards that.
We also have another missionary in the Philippines,
Dave Kabuntala, that we support as well,
and the vision offering's helping towards all that.
And then, of course, the eighth annual Red Hot
Preaching Conference.
It's a big event, and we have a lot of preachers
that come in and a lot of people from all over the world,
and it takes money to put on the Red Hot Preaching
Conference, and the vision offering is going
to go towards that.
The vision offering might help us a little bit
with the Next Generation Youth Rally,
because it's obviously an expense there as well,
but we just want you to be aware.
On the back, you'll notice that there are some
giving opportunities for the vision offering.
You can bring a one-time offering on the day
of the vision offering.
You can make a commitment if you're not ready
to give on the day of the vision offering.
You can make a commitment to give towards
the vision offering over the next three months,
April, May, and June, or you can give a one-time offering
and make a commitment, whatever you'd like.
And I'd just like you to look through the card,
pray about it, consider if the Lord would have you
to be a part of the vision offering this year.
We'll talk more about it as we get closer.
Nine chapters a day challenge.
If you've finished the challenge,
please make sure you go by the clipboard
and check for your name and let us know
that it is spelled correctly.
Also, for the Next Generation Youth Rally,
there are clipboards in the foyer for the Cookie Fellowship.
Both evening services Tuesday night and Wednesday night,
we're gonna have a Cookie Fellowship after the service,
and we would love for you to volunteer
if you can bring cookies.
If you can bake cookies, buy cookies, steal cookies,
whatever you gotta do, you know,
assault the cookie monster or something,
but help us bring cookies,
because we're gonna have a bunch of teens
that are expecting cookies.
So if you could go by there and sign up for that,
that would be great.
A BBC choir practice begins today,
5 p.m. here in the auditorium,
and they're gonna begin practicing for Easter.
The most important choir practice
are the first and the last, all right?
So make sure you're there today
for the first practice homeschool group.
They've got P.E. class this Thursday, March 2nd at 10 a.m.
There's other things there for you to look at.
Please don't forget to turn your cellphones off
or place them on silent during the service.
They're not a distraction to anybody.
If you look at the back of the bulletin,
birthdays and anniversaries for the month of February,
we have Elijah Usher's birthday is tomorrow, February 27th.
Ms. Julissa Zuniga has a birthday on February 28th.
Brother Mike and Ms. Blanca Beale
have their anniversary on February 28th.
Valente and Ms. Nicole Perez
have their anniversary on February 28th.
And also this week,
Ms. Denise Anderson has her birthday on March 4th.
Praise Report, Money Matters,
All those things are there for you to look at.
And I think that's it for all of the announcements.
We're going to go ahead and sing the chorus of the week,
which is the insert in your bulletin.
And we'll sing,
God will take care of you
as we prepare to receive the offering this morning.
Be not dismayed, whatever be tied.
God will take care of you.
Sing it out on the first.
Be not dismayed, whatever be tied.
God will take care of you.
Beneath his wings of love abide,
God will take care of you.
And every day, or all the way,
He will take care of you.
God will take care of you.
Through days of toil and void that fail,
God will take care of you.
When dangerous fears your path assailed,
God will take care of you.
Through every day, or all the way,
He will take care of you.
God will take care of you.
All the pain He will provide,
God will take care of you.
Happy new last will be denied,
God will take care of you.
Through every day, or all the way,
He will take care of you.
God will take care of you.
Sing it out on the last.
No matter what may be the test,
God will take care of you.
With every one upon His breast,
God will take care of you.
Through every day, or all the way,
He will take care of you.
God will take care of you.
Amen, good singing.
We'll have the guys come up
and help us with the offering at this time.
And let's go ahead and bow our heads
and have a word of prayer.
Heavenly Father, Lord, we do thank you
for allowing us to gather together this morning.
Lord, we pray that you'd bless the offering,
the gift, and the giver.
We ask that you'd meet with us
as we take another portion of Scripture,
look at it, study it together.
In Jesus' name we pray.
Amen.
Please open our mouths to 1 Timothy chapter 5.
1 Timothy chapter number 5.
If you need a bow, you can put your hand up
and one of the editors will come by and bring your Bible.
1 Timothy chapter 5.
If you need a bow, keep your hand up and a shoulder will come by.
1 Timothy 5.
We will read the entire chapter as our custom.
1 Timothy 5, beginning in verse number 1.
Rebuke not an elder, but entreat him as a father.
And the younger men as brethren.
The elder women as mothers.
The younger as sisters with all purity.
Honor widows that are widows indeed.
But if any widow have children or nephews,
let them learn first to show piety at home
and to requite their parents,
for that is good and acceptable before God.
Now she that is a widow indeed and desolate
trusteth in God
and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day.
But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth.
And these things give in charge that they may be blameless.
But if any provide not for his own,
and especially for those of his own house,
he hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel.
Let not a widow be taken into the number
under three score years old,
having been the wife of one man.
Well reported of for good works,
if she have brought up children,
if she have lodged strangers,
if she have washed the saints' feet,
if she have relieved the afflicted,
if she have diligently followed every good work.
But the younger widows refuse,
for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ they will marry,
having damnation because they have cast off their first faith.
And with all they learn to be idle,
wandering about from house to house,
and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies,
speaking things which they ought not.
I will therefore that the younger women marry,
bear children, guide the house,
give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
For some are already turned aside after Satan.
If any man or woman that believeth have widows,
let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged,
that it may relieve them that are widows indeed.
Let the elders that rule well be counted worthy of double honor,
especially they who labor in the word and doctrine.
For the Scripture saith,
Thou shall not muzzle the ox that treadeth out the corn,
and the laborer is worthy of his reward.
Against an elder receive not an accusation,
but before two or three witnesses.
Them that sin rebuke before all that others also may fear.
I charge thee before God and the Lord Jesus Christ,
and the elect angels,
that thou observe these things without preferring one before another,
doing nothing by partiality.
Lay hands suddenly on no man,
neither be partaker of other men's sins,
keep thyself pure.
Drink no longer water,
but use a little wine for thy stomach's sake and thy often infirmities.
Some men's sins are opened beforehand,
going forth to judgment,
and some men they follow after.
Likewise, also the good works of some are manifest beforehand,
and they that are otherwise cannot be hid.
Let's pray.
Heavenly Father, thank you for this morning.
God, I thank you for our church,
and for everyone that's here.
I ask that you please meet with us today, God.
I say please be with the pastor this morning.
Just strengthen him, and from the Holy Spirit.
We love you. In Jesus' name, pray. Amen.
Amen.
All right, well, we're there in 1 Thessalonians, chapter number 5.
I'm sorry, 1 Timothy, chapter number 5.
And we are continuing our series on judgment,
and our series on what the Bible teaches on judgment.
And this morning, I'm going to preach a sermon on the subject of gossip.
And, of course, if you've been with us through our series on judgment,
you know that we started,
and I'd like to kind of give these refreshers just real quickly,
as quickly as I can, just to help you get the context.
Of course, we started this several weeks ago,
about six weeks ago or seven weeks ago,
and I started with a sermon on the theology of judgment.
And we learned from the Bible that the word judgment has two synonyms
that help us understand what it means to have judgment.
One is discernment, the other is justice.
Then I preached the second sermon, a sermon entitled Developing Discernment.
And we talked about figuring out how to figure out what is right and what is wrong,
because that's what judgment is.
It's having discernment to know whether I should or should not be doing something
or participating in something.
Then we talked about the areas of judgment.
If you remember, we talked about the areas of God-given judgment,
and we learned about when and where to judge,
when and where we should judge.
I preached a sermon in part four of this series called Judgment Calls,
and that sermon we learned not like discernment,
what is right and what is wrong,
but we learned about justice, who is right and who is wrong,
how to figure out whether somebody is right or somebody is wrong,
according to the Bible.
And then I preached a sermon called Judge Not,
and we learned about when and where not to judge.
So in the areas of authority, we learned when and where to judge,
and judge not, we learned when and where not to judge.
And then last week, of course, I preached a sermon on the Matthew 18 process,
what to do when someone has sinned against you.
Now, this morning, I'm going to deal with the subject of gossip,
and gossip fits well within the context of judgment.
And just by way of introduction, let me begin by making a couple of statements.
First of all, when it comes to gossip, gossip is often something that is known,
gossip is often known as something that women struggle with.
In 1 Timothy 5 and verse 13, I want you to notice what the Bible says.
The Bible says, and with all they learn to be idle.
Now, ladies, don't start gossiping about me.
I'm going to get on the men here in a minute, all right?
So just before you start sending your text messages.
1 Timothy 5, 13, and with all they learn to be idle,
the word idle means doing nothing, being without work.
Here it says, and with all they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house.
Now, on the day when Paul wrote this letter, he said they were wandering about from house to house.
Today, we might say they're wandering about from social media site to social media site,
but the idea is that they're busy doing nothing.
And with all they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house,
not only idle, notice these words, but toddlers also and busybodies.
And notice what the Bible says, speaking things which they ought not.
Speaking things which they ought not.
So we see these words, toddler and busybodies.
The word toddler is, or toddlers, is defined as a person who tells secrets or who tells tales.
So when you see this term, toddler, just realize the Bible is referring to someone who likes to tell stories, tell tales.
They like to reveal secrets.
The word busybody is defined as a person who prize into or meddles into the affairs of others.
Someone who likes to ask questions and try to figure out what's going on in other people's lives.
And here the Bible is talking about women that are idle, wandering about from house to house,
and not only idle, but toddlers also and busybodies speaking things which they ought not.
We're there in 1 Timothy 5. Flip back to 1 Timothy chapter 3.
Let me show you another passage.
Because gossip is often known as something that women struggle with.
And the Bible definitely makes that case here when referring to women in 1 Timothy 3.
This idea of being a gossip comes up in 1 Timothy chapter 3 and verse 11.
In 1 Timothy 3.11 we have, of course, 1 Timothy 3 we have the qualifications of an elder or a bishop or a pastor.
We also have the qualifications of a deacon.
And here in 1 Timothy 3.11 we see one of the qualifications for the deacon's wife.
In 1 Timothy 3.11 the Bible says,
Even so must their wives be grave, notice these words, not slanderers, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things.
The word slanderer is defined as a malicious, false, or injurious to someone's reputation, statement, or report.
So when someone reports something or says something that is going to hurt somebody's reputation that is malicious or is false, that is a slanderer.
And here we're told that a lady who is married to a man that will be ordained in the ministry,
there are qualifications that she is to meet.
And one of those is to not be a slanderer.
Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things.
So it is a true thing that the Bible deals with this issue of gossip.
And gossip is often known as something that women struggle with.
And I'll be very honest with you, as a pastor, whenever I see a group of women gathered together, I'm always a little nervous.
If my wife is not in the group, I'm nervous.
Now if my wife is in the group, I don't worry about it because I know that if gossip starts, she'll shut it down.
But whenever I see a group of ladies gathered together, I think to myself, that can't be good.
Go to 2 Thessalonians, 2 Thessalonians chapter number 3.
You're there in 1 Timothy. If you flip back, go backwards past 1 Timothy into 2 Thessalonians chapter 3.
Gossip is often known as something that women struggle with.
But let me say this. Gossip, however, is something that men can also struggle with.
And some of the biggest gossips I've met have been men.
And sometimes you get a group of men and they gossip worse than their wives do.
They surround themselves and act like a bunch of hens.
2 Thessalonians chapter 3 verse 11. Notice what the Bible says.
For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly.
Here the apostle Paul, in 1 Timothy chapter 5 and 1 Timothy chapter 3, he was dealing with ladies.
2 Thessalonians chapter 3, he's dealing with men.
For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly. Notice what he says.
Working not at all. Notice that's the problem. They're not busy.
What's the problem with the ladies? They learn to be idle.
Here he says, working not at all. Notice what he says.
But are busybodies. What's the word busybody mean?
It means a person who pries or meddles into the affairs of others.
But are busybodies. And again, the context is here referring to men who are busybodies.
Who are interested in what's going on in the lives of other people
and wanting to get information about other people's lives.
Go to Leviticus chapter 19 towards the beginning of the Bible.
The first book of the Bible is Genesis. Then you have Exodus and then you have Leviticus.
Leviticus is the third book. Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Leviticus chapter 19.
I'm just beginning here by way of introduction and expressing to you that I'm preaching on gossip.
And some of you may have heard me say that and you kind of rolled your eyes and said,
I don't need this sermon. Let me tell you something. Everybody is susceptible to gossip.
Men, women, children, teens, it does not matter.
The Bible says that women have a tendency or could involve themselves in gossip.
Men can involve themselves in gossip.
It is something that often we joke about women involving themselves in.
But men like gossip just as much. And it's something that all of us can deal with.
All of us are susceptible to. All of us could have the tendency to,
if you do not make a choice and a decision to not participate in gossip.
And God in general commands everyone to abstain from gossip.
Leviticus 19, notice what the Bible says. Leviticus 19 and verse 16. Notice what the Bible says.
Thou shalt not, Leviticus 19, 16, thou shalt not go up and down as a tail bearer among thy people.
And again, the idea is that this person is just, they have nothing to do.
They're not busy working at something, busy building something.
They're just going up and down from house to house as a tail bearer.
And God says thou shalt not go up and down as a tail bearer among thy people.
Neither shalt thou stand against the blood of thy neighbor. I am the Lord.
A tail bearer is defined as a person who spreads gossip or secrets that may cause trouble or harm.
And the Bible teaches that we should all abstain from this grievous sin of gossip.
This idea of gossip. Now you might be asking yourself, why would you add a sermon on gossip to a series on judgment?
And let me help you understand the reasoning.
I have preached on gossip, obviously I've been a pastor for 12 years, so I've preached on gossip several times over the years.
And usually when I preach on gossip, and I'm going to give you very much, I mean it's not the exact same outline,
but I'm going to give you a lot of the same things that I've given you over the years on the subject of gossip.
Usually when I speak on the subject of gossip, I often feel like I'm looking at, you know,
a bunch of people are staring back at me like a deer staring at headlights.
And it just kind of like, you know, goes over their heads.
And I think the reason for it is because in order to understand what is gossip,
I think the problem is that most people don't even understand what gossip is.
And in order for you to understand gossip, you need to understand biblical authority.
Now let me just help you, and I'm going to say this, I'm going to say it over and over again throughout the sermon.
I hope you'll write this down. On the back of your course this week, there's a place for you to take notes.
I hope you'll maybe write this statement down.
But to avoid gossip, you should remember this phrase.
It's a phrase that I've taught over the years. It is a phrase that I want you to remember this.
I want you to memorize it. I want you to ask yourself this question.
You say, how can I know whether something is gossip?
How can I know whether I'm engaging in gossip or I'm spreading gossip?
And here's the questions I want you to ask yourself.
I want you to ask yourself these two questions.
Is it my place and is it my problem?
Now, in this sermon series, earlier in this series, I preached a sermon called Areas of Authority.
And in that sermon on areas of authority, I taught you the concept of God-given authority.
That God has put certain people in positions of authority.
I'm not going to re-preach that sermon. I hope that you remember the sermon.
If not, you can go back and refresh on it or listen to it.
But we talked about the fact that God has put positions of authority and they are God-given authority.
They are ordained by God. Examples are a husband.
The Bible says that the husband is the head of the wife and he is the leader of the household.
A father and a mother are given God-given authority over children.
The Bible says that children are to obey their parents in the Lord for this is right.
Of course, a boss or an employer has been given God-given authority over their employees.
A pastor has been given God-given authority over the church.
Government has been given, whether you like it or not, God-given authority over its citizens.
Now we talked about in that sermon that this God-given authority also has biblical limits.
It's not just a blank check for a pastor or a boss or a government to do whatever they want.
There are checks to those authorities and of course whenever our God-given authority is asking us to do something
that goes against our higher authority, then we ought to obey the higher authority.
And of course we know that the highest authority is God and we should always obey God rather than men.
So if your husband, ladies, is asking you to do something that is a sin,
then you don't obey that because you obey God rather than men.
But if he's asking you to do something that's not a sin,
then the Bible says that wives are to submit themselves unto their husbands.
Kids, if your parents are asking you to sin for them, then you don't obey that
because we obey God rather than men.
But if they're asking you to do something that is not sinful, then children are to obey their parents.
And so forth, it goes with the areas of authority.
I want you to understand that because when it comes to gossip and it comes to this idea of gossip,
what you need to ask yourself is, is it my place?
And when we're asking the question, is it my place?
What we're really asking is this, is this my place of authority?
Do I have the authority in this situation to do something about it, to fix it, to deal with it?
So when we ask the question, is it my place?
What we're asking is, do I have the authority, do I have the God-given authority to deal with this situation?
And when we ask the question, is it my problem?
I realize that the way that's phrased, it might sound like a teenager with a bad attitude.
Is it my problem?
That's not the point that I'm making, but the point that I'm making is this.
Does this affect me?
Is this something that is affecting me, affecting people around me, affecting the people under my authority?
So when we ask the question, is it my place?
What we're asking is, do I have authority over this situation?
And when we ask the question, is it my problem?
What we're asking is, am I being affected?
So I want you to remember these words, place or problem or authority and being affected.
Whichever alliteration you want to go with, I don't care as long as you quit gossiping.
That's all I care about.
But I'm trying to help you.
I often try to make these things memorable for you to remember.
And I just want you to remember these words.
Is it my place or is it my problem?
Do I have authority or does it affect me?
That is how we determine gossip.
And I'd like you to go with me, if you would, to the book of Proverbs.
Proverbs chapter 11.
If you open your Bible just right in the center, you'll more than likely fall in the book of Psalms.
And right after Psalms, you have the book of Proverbs.
We're going to look at a lot of passages this morning.
But for the rest of the sermon, we're going to spend our entire time in the book of Proverbs.
Because Proverbs, out of all the books in the Bible, probably deals the most extensively with this idea of gossip.
So we're going to look at a lot of passages, but they're all in Proverbs.
So find Proverbs and get there.
Proverbs chapter 11.
Like I said, if you open your Bible just right in the center, you'll more than likely fall in the book of Psalms.
Right after Psalms, you have the book of Proverbs.
Proverbs chapter 11.
Let's begin.
I'm going to deal with three different questions or three different areas.
And if you want to write these down, I encourage you to do that.
First, we're going to deal with the question, what is gossip?
What is gossip?
We're going to talk about what is gossip.
And I'm going to help you understand what gossip is.
Then we're going to talk about what is wrong with gossip.
Because you might say, well, okay, I understand what gossip is, but what's wrong with it?
What's wrong with gossip?
And then we're going to talk about how should we deal with gossip.
How we should deal with gossip.
So number one, if you're taking notes, let's talk about what is gossip.
Proverbs 11 and verse 13.
Notice what the Bible says.
A tale bearer, remember a tale bearer is a person who spreads gossip or secrets that may cause trouble or harm.
A tale bearer, notice what the Bible says, revealeth secrets.
A tale bearer revealeth secrets.
But he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.
Here we're told about an individual who's revealing secrets, but it's stated in a negative way.
He's a tale bearer.
He's a gossip.
Go to Proverbs 17.
Look at verse 9.
Proverbs 17.
You're there in Proverbs 11.
Flip over to Proverbs chapter 17 and verse 9.
By the way, let me just say this.
Gossip is a grievous sin.
And gossip is often a sin that brings a lot of harm to organizations.
And it doesn't matter what the organization is.
Obviously I'm preaching it this morning in the context of a church.
And within the context of a church, gossip can bring a lot of problems and a lot of troubles.
But let me tell you something.
You can have a lot of problems at work because of people's gossip.
You can have a lot of problems within your own family or within your extended family because of gossip.
It doesn't matter if you're part of a bowling league.
Gossip can ruin and bring a lot of harm to any organization.
So realize though, I'm preaching in the context of a church.
You can apply this, and you should apply this, to every area of your life because gossip can hurt people anywhere and everywhere.
When it comes to gossip, we saw in Proverbs 11.13, a tale bearer reveals a secret.
Look at Proverbs 17 and verse 9.
Proverbs 17 and verse 9, the Bible says,
He that covereth a transgression seeketh love, but he that repeateth a matter seperateth very friends.
Notice the idea, there's a contrast being drawn.
Someone who covers a transgression, it's stated in a positive, seeking love.
This is not talking about somebody hiding sin and sweeping it under the rug.
But here we're told that he that covereth a transgression seeketh love,
but here's the contrast, he that repeateth a matter, so they're doing the opposite of covering a transgression, they're spreading it.
He that repeateth a matter seperateth very friends.
Go to Proverbs chapter 20, look at verse 19. Proverbs chapter 20 verse 19.
He that goeth about as a tale bearer, as someone who likes to tell tales, tell secrets.
Did you hear about? Have you heard about?
He that goeth about as a tale bearer, notice, revealeth secrets.
Therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.
By the way, gossip and flattery often go hand in hand.
Proverbs 25, look at verse 9.
Debate thy cause with thy neighbor himself.
We talked about that last week.
If you have a problem that you need to deal with someone, you are to go to them alone, is what the Bible says.
You don't go to them, you don't go to them and everyone else.
And you don't go to them in front of everybody else either.
You have a problem with somebody, you take them aside privately and go to them alone.
Debate thy cause with thy neighbor himself, notice what the Bible says, and discover not a secret to another.
Discover not a secret to another.
So when we ask the question, what is gossip?
I want to give you a couple of statements.
I'm going to give you three statements and they're all wordy statements and I don't know how else to do it.
But you like gossip anyway, so you like words, don't you?
You should be able to handle this.
Number one, it is gossip.
Because this is the problem that I have.
As a pastor, I often have to call people out and say, hey, why are you gossiping?
I'm not gossiping.
And then I have to teach this lesson and say, well, actually it is gossip, blah, blah, blah, because here's what the Bible says.
So let me just help you understand what is gossip, okay?
Number one, it is gossip.
It is gossip if the issue you are discussing, the matter you are talking about, has already been dealt with by those who have authority over it.
Remember, is it my place?
Or by those who are affected by it.
Remember, is it my problem?
It is gossip if the issue you are discussing has already been dealt with by those who have authority over it.
Is it my place?
Or those who are affected by it, is it my problem?
Let me just give you some examples.
And I feel like I've got to give some like real specific examples.
And I'm not talking about anybody in particular, okay?
Gossip.
Because sometimes I give examples like, I'm going to try to find out who the pastor is talking about.
You walk up to me, who are you talking about?
I wasn't talking about anybody.
Let me let you in on a little secret.
Usually when I give an example, whatever I actually want to say, I like do the exact opposite.
Because then people, because people don't, I don't want people accusing me of whatever.
So, you know, sometimes you preach on gossip and the gossips are like, oh.
But let me just get, this is just a generic example, all right?
But let's say someone was committing adultery.
And look, I don't know if anybody in our church is committing adultery, okay?
So just know that.
Let's say someone was committing adultery.
I mean actively committing adultery.
And I find out about it as a pastor.
Well, it is not gossip for me to go to their spouse, whether it's a husband or wife, and let them know about it.
You know, if I know it's true, not someone told me, but two witnesses have verified.
I looked, which allows me to investigate.
I looked into it.
I verified.
There's evidence.
I know for sure this is going on.
It's not gossip for me to go to the spouse and let them know about it.
You say, why?
Because the spouse is affected by it.
It's their problem.
It's a problem that they're being affected by, or the spouse has authority over it.
If it's the husband, obviously he both has authority and is being affected by it.
If it's the wife, she may not have God-given authority over her husband, but she's affected by it.
So when we ask the question, is it my place or is it my problem?
Then if you go to the person and you're telling the person and it's their place and it's their problem, that's not gossip.
I mean, does that make sense?
I realize there are some people who just want to make this confusing and don't want to be able to understand what I'm saying,
but I don't think it's that hard.
Is it my place?
Is it my problem?
Okay, let me give you another example.
Let's say there's someone in our church who committed adultery in the past,
and it's already came out to light and it's already been dealt with.
Their spouse knows.
Their pastor knows.
It's been dealt with.
They've repented.
They've asked for forgiveness.
They've made it right.
But let's say you find out about it later on.
It would be gossip for you to go around and tell other people.
You say, why?
Because it's already been dealt with.
The people who are in authority over it or the people that are affected by it have already been made aware,
so you going around telling people that are neither in authority or have not been affected is gossip.
Do you understand what I'm telling you?
You say, what is gossip?
You've got to ask yourself the question, is it my place?
Is it my problem?
Or if you're going to tell somebody, is it their place?
Is it their problem?
Am I going to the person that has authority to deal with it?
Am I going to the person that's been affected by it?
Or am I just telling a bunch of people that have nothing to do with it?
It is gossip if the issue you are discussing has already been dealt with by those who have authority over it.
Is it my place?
Or by those who are affected by it, is it my problem?
And here's what upsets me as a pastor oftentimes is that people, I'm preaching this whole series on judgment, right?
People will often judge me or other pastors and they have no idea what the Bible teaches about judgment.
They have no clue what the Bible says about judgment.
But they want to accuse me of being a respecter, a person.
They don't even know what that word means.
They don't even know what that phrase means.
And literally there have been situations, not in our church but in churches like ours,
over the years where I've maybe been a part of that and I've tried to help as a pastor or whatever.
There have been situations where like young people got in trouble over something.
And all the pastors were made aware.
All the parents were made aware.
Everyone who was either in authority or affected by it was made aware.
The kids were punished. They were disciplined. It was dealt with.
But then they accused us of, oh, you're covering it up and you're, you know, just sweeping it under the rug
because we don't make YouTube videos about it and let everybody know.
And they're like, oh, you're covering it up.
No, actually, you're a gossip.
Your flesh just wants to know all the details about somebody's life.
And look, how is it a cover-up if everyone who was in authority, all the parents and the pastors,
if everyone who was affected, everyone involved, everybody was told, everybody was punished,
everybody that was involved, how is that a cover-up?
But idiots out there who don't even, you don't even read the Bible but you want to judge us on what the Bible says about judgment,
oh, that's a cover-up. No, actually, the Bible says, he that covered the transgressions seeketh love.
You know, it's a cover-up if you're letting people get away with sin, if you're just hiding it.
But if you go to the people that are in authority, if you go to the people that are affected,
and then you don't tell anybody else, that's not a cover-up, that's biblical Christianity.
So no, my friend, I'm not a respecter of persons, you're just a gossip.
And what you should ask yourself is, when it comes to gossip, is it my place,
or if you're going to somebody, is it their place, or is it my problem, is it their problem?
So I said, number one, it is gossip.
If the issue you are discussing has already been dealt with by those who have authority over it,
is it my place, or by those who are affected by it, is it my problem?
And look, I realize that I'm giving you points, and usually I don't give points that are this wordy,
but there's no other way for me to do it as far as I can't tell.
So please write these down, and if you can't, I'll text them to you, okay? I'll text you these points.
Number two, it is also gossip.
And you say, pastor, why do you get so upset?
I get upset because gossip is such a grievous sin, and it's just so flippantly done by people.
And I always think to myself, you know, if it was about you, if it was your kid,
if it was your spouse, if you were the one, you'd wish there was a loving pastor
that would come alongside you like Nathan the prophet and put his finger in your face
and say, thou art the man, and help you get right and help you recover,
but also love you enough to not spread it to everybody else.
It's funny how we can so clearly understand what's right or wrong when it's us,
but when it's somebody else, then it's just, I really got it now. No, you don't.
Number two, it is also gossip.
It is also gossip.
If the issue you are discussing cannot be dealt by you because you do not have authority over it.
Remember, is it my place? Or you are not affected by it. Is it my problem?
So this gossip of the issue you are discussing has already been dealt with
by those who have authority over it or by those who are affected by it,
but it is also gossip if the issue you are discussing cannot be dealt with by you
because you do not have authority over it. Is it my place?
Or you are not affected by it. Is it my problem?
Let me give you an example. Let's say there is a problem.
Again, this is just kind of an easy one.
Let's say there's some problems between the teens in church,
and as far as I know, there's no problems with the teens in church.
Let's say there's some issue with the teens, and let's say you don't have any children
or you don't have any children that are teenage.
It would be gossip for you to go around and spread that information
simply for the sake of spreading it. Do you understand that?
Let me tell you what I heard about the teens.
You don't have any teens. You don't have any kids that are even that age.
It doesn't affect you in any way, shape, or form. You don't have authority over it.
That's gossip.
Now let's say you found out that the teens were doing some bad thing.
You know, some teenager is doing something he shouldn't be doing,
and then you go to their dad or you go to their mom in a spirit of humility,
and you say, hey, you know, I love you, and I love your family,
and I became aware of X, Y, and Z.
I know it's true because of this evidence and this evidence,
and I'm just letting you know because I thought someone should let you know,
and I think you should be aware of this. That's not gossip.
Because you're going to the person that has authority over that situation,
and you're letting them know.
Let's say it affects somebody else.
You know of some teens doing X, Y, and Z,
and they're best friends with this other kid,
and they're influencing them the wrong way.
Going to them in a spirit of humility, if they have authority,
or if it affects them, then that's not gossip.
But you sitting around with your little girlfriends
and just letting everybody know about all the issues that everybody's dealing with,
hey, that's gossip.
It is gossip if the issue you are discussing,
if the thing you are dealing with cannot be dealt with by you
because you do not have authority over it, is it my place,
or you have not been affected by it, it's not your problem.
So ask yourself, just memorize this, is it my place, is it my problem?
Before I receive something, is it my place?
Am I in a position of authority to do something about this?
Is it my problem? Is it affecting me or those that are under my authority?
Or before you say something to someone, ask yourself,
is it their place, are they in a position of authority to deal with it?
Or is it their problem, are they being affected by this?
And if the answer is no and no, then keep your mouth shut.
Number three, it is not gossip.
It is not gossip.
This isn't all negative. I'm telling you when it's not gossip.
Here's when you can run your mouth.
It is not gossip when you are telling someone,
this is just me saying the same thing over and over again
because I know you gossips like to hear it again and again.
It is not gossip when you are telling someone that has authority over it,
is it my place, or you are telling someone who's affected by it,
is it their problem?
You understand that?
So there's a situation in church where we've got some leader,
some guy or some lady in a position of leadership maybe,
and they're in some grievous sin and you come and tell a pastor,
that's not gossip.
You say, why?
Because I'm the pastor and I'm in a position of authority over the church people,
and if I've got someone in a leadership position,
then coming to tell me is not gossip.
Just because you tell me doesn't mean that I'm necessarily going to do anything about it,
especially if you're only one witness.
But I might file it away and be able to do something about it at some point,
that's not gossip.
But going around telling everybody else, and here's what the funny thing is,
human nature is so interesting to me because just by nature,
we always want to do the opposite of what the Bible says.
Just realize whatever your flesh wants to do,
it's more than likely the opposite of what you're supposed to do.
Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love.
Because the funny thing is that at Verity Baptist Church,
and I'm not just calling out our church because every church is like this,
at Verity Baptist Church, my wife and I are literally,
usually the last people to ever find out about anything.
Because everybody wants to go around telling everybody,
except the people who actually have the authority to deal with it.
That's why I always think it's funny when people say to me,
oh I just assumed that you knew.
Do me a favor, never assume that I know anything.
Never assume that my wife knows anything.
You say why, because you don't talk to people?
No, because people purposely try to keep stuff from us.
Because people literally on purpose have these conversations.
Hey, I'm going to tell you something, but don't tell Pastor.
When somebody tells you, don't tell Ms. Joanne, don't tell Pastor,
red flag, you should just stop them right there and say,
look, you're either going to tell me and if they need to know,
I'm going to tell them or just don't tell me.
Don't assume we know anything. We know nothing.
That's why we're so nice to all of you because we don't know anything about you.
If I knew half the stuff you guys knew,
it's not gossip when you're telling someone that has authority over it.
It's not gossip when you're telling the husband about something his wife is doing
or the mother about something the children are doing.
But it is gossip if you're telling somebody else's wife
about what they're doing over there.
Is it your place? Is it your problem?
I don't know how to make it any more clear than that.
I feel like I'm trying to put it on the lowest level possible.
I mean, it's on the bottom shelf.
You should be able to reach that and understand it.
Is it my place? Do I have authority over this situation?
Is it my problem? Does it affect me?
Does it affect those who are under my authority?
Is it their place? If I'm telling someone, is it their place?
Do they have authority over this? Is it their problem?
Is it affecting them or someone under their authority?
In those instances, it's not gossip.
But when you're listening to something that you don't have authority to do anything about,
and it doesn't even affect you or involve you or involve anyone that you do have authority over,
you are participating in gossip.
And if you're telling someone about something that they don't have authority over,
they can't do anything about it, and it doesn't affect them in any way, shape, or form,
you are gossiping.
I mean, I don't know how else to make it clear.
I think that should be pretty easy to understand.
And then people ask like,
I had no idea that going on Facebook and telling everybody about,
because I found out about this person, something they did 20 years ago,
that I don't even know.
I had no idea that spreading that was wrong.
Idiot.
It should be pretty common sense.
And if you go back to our sermon on discernment, you should ask yourself,
what if it were me?
What if it were my thing that I did 20 years ago?
Because let me tell you something,
there's probably something you did 20 years ago that you're embarrassed about,
that you've already dealt with, that's already came to light,
that people have already dealt with.
And you should ask yourself, if it were me,
I wouldn't want somebody to just spread this.
What is gossip?
It is gossip of the issue you're discussing has already been dealt with
by those who have authority over it, is it my place?
Or by those who are affected by it, is it my problem?
It is also gossip of the issue you are discussing cannot be dealt with by you
because you do not have the authority over it, is it my place?
And you are not being affected by it, is it my problem?
It is not gossip when you are telling someone that has authority over it,
is it my place?
Or you are telling someone who is affected by it, is it their problem?
Is it my place, is it my problem?
Is it their place, is it their problem?
It should be pretty simple.
Number two.
Number one, what is gossip?
You got it?
I don't know how to make it any more simple than that.
I'll text it to you, I'll email it to you,
I'll write it on your forehead if you need me to.
Number two, let's talk about what is wrong with gossip.
You say, okay, I get what gossip is, but what's wrong with it?
Because here's the problem with gossip.
For some of you, gossip is your hobby.
It's what you do when you're bored.
It's because you got nothing better to do, nothing else to do.
So let me help you understand something.
You say, what's wrong with gossip?
It's just a bunch of friends having a good time.
Well, you know, here's what's wrong with gossip,
is that gossip hurts reputations.
Proverbs 26, look at verse 21.
Proverbs 26, verse 21.
Gossip hurts reputations.
Proverbs 26, verse 21.
As coals are to burning coals and wood to fire,
so is a contentious man to kindle strife.
Look at verse 22.
The words of a tale bearer are as wounds,
and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.
We grew up being told sticks and stones will break my bones,
but words will never hurt me.
And I understand why that's said, and to an extent that we understand that.
We say that to our children because they say, so-and-so called me this.
And it's like, so? Get over it.
It's fine.
But the truth is that words can be hurtful,
and words can do lasting damage.
The words of a tale bearer are as wounds,
and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.
You say, what's wrong with gossip?
Here's what's wrong with gossip, is that gossip hurts reputations.
Please understand this.
It hurts people when something that is not true is spread about them.
Now, that should be easy to understand.
It hurts people when something that is not true is spread about them.
And look, let me just say on the other end,
you have to be mature enough to realize that sometimes people,
especially if you're doing a great work for God,
people are going to spread things about you that are not true.
As a pastor, I've just had to come to grips with the fact.
I mean, I feel like every week of my life somebody's texting me something or emailing me,
did you hear what this person's saying, X, Y, and Z?
And I'm like, and I'm just like, that never happened.
I mean, one of the biggest attacks that I've been attacked for recently,
I feel like this one just keeps coming up over and over and over again.
There's this rumor going around on the Internet,
and people are just attacking me over, and I don't really understand it.
But there's this rumor that I threw out a, this never happened, okay,
but this rumor that I threw out a homeless person who came to our church,
and they had no shoes on.
I forget, for sure they had no shoes on.
I think they might have had no shirt, and I threw them out of church.
And people are just attacking me viciously, maliciously.
Can you believe pastry man, who does he think is?
That never happened.
But what I think is funny is like, number one,
I get accused of just throwing people out of church for this and that,
things that never happened.
But what I think is funny is that if a homeless guy walked in here with no shirts and no shirt,
I would throw him out.
I'm like, what's wrong with that?
I walk into stores and they got signs that say no shoes, no shirt, no service.
I mean, if a store can say no shoes, no shirt, no service,
can I say no shoes, no shirt, no church service?
But that never even happened.
Now, in my, I don't know, maybe brother Nate kicked him.
I don't know, one of the safety teams, but like, I'm just like,
they're like, pastry man is this, and he's, you know,
he's homophobic and homelessphobic and whatever.
I'm just like, that never even happened.
So look, it hurts people when something that is not true is spread about them.
But, you know, it also hurts people when something about their past that is true.
Because this is what we wrote.
Well, it's not a constant because it's true.
Okay, but if it's about them and it's true and it's already been dealt with,
if it's something that is true and it happened,
the kid's a teenager and his pastor's been made aware
and his parents have been made aware, why don't you let them live it down?
It also hurts people when something, because it's easier to say,
look, when you spread something that's not true, that's hurtful to people.
But you know what, even if it is true, if it's already been dealt with,
you should still not spread it.
Now, if it's actively happening and it's not been dealt with,
then yes, go to the person who has authority,
go to the person who's being affected and make them aware.
But if the people that are in authority already know,
they've already dealt with it, they've already disciplined them,
they've already punished them, then look, it hurts people
when something about them in their past is spread.
Even if it's true, if it's already been dealt with, you should not partake in it.
You say, why? Because gossip hurts reputations.
And you know, the problem with gossip is that people just so flippantly engage in gossip.
I remember when I was a teenager, my youth pastor, my wife and I were in a youth group,
we had a youth pastor.
I remember our youth pastor, Pastor Meredith Sears,
he would often give this example about gossip and he would say,
you know, this is what gossip is like, spreading things about people.
Whether it's true or not, it's already been dealt with.
And he would often use this example and he would kind of give us this imagery
and I just have never forgotten it.
But he said, it's like taking an old, you know those old down pillows,
the pillows that are filled with, full of feathers?
He said, it's like taking one of those old pillows that is full of feathers
and just going down to like downtown Sacramento
and just finding the highest building, going all the way to the top,
getting on the roof, opening that pillow and just spreading all those feathers,
just letting them spread in the wind
and then trying to go back down and pick each one of them up.
He said, it's impossible.
That's what gossip is like.
You tell someone who tells someone who tells someone who tells someone who tells someone
and it goes from you telling someone, hey, they're struggling in their marriage
because I saw them fighting in the, you know, I saw them fighting in the parking lot.
Everybody fights in the parking lot.
They all fight in the parking lot.
You know, you're laughing because half of you are fighting on the way to church.
How am I going to take the fight?
How am I going to hunt people?
Then you walk in the building and you're like, hi, brother.
We love Jesus.
I saw them fighting in the parking lot.
It goes from fighting in the parking lot to they're having marriage problems
to they're getting a divorce to I think one of them was committing.
This is how gossip goes.
And it's just these feathers just spread in the wind.
You just hurt people.
Gossip hurts reputations.
But let me say this, gossip hurts relationships.
Go to Proverbs 16.
Look at verse 28.
Now, why your husband wants to go to Home Depot for lunch, I don't know.
He just likes Home Depot.
Proverbs 16, 28.
A froward man soweth strife, and a whisperer separateth chief friends.
You know, gossip hurts relationships.
A whisperer separates chief friends.
By the way, if you've got to whisper about it, it's probably not good.
If you've got to keep it secret and keep it loud, it's probably not good.
You know what the Bible says?
The Bible says men love darkness rather than light because their deeds were evil.
If you've got to hide it, that's why oftentimes when situations like this come to me
and I have to deal with it, the first thing I say is, hey, I have an idea.
Here's a great idea.
Because people come to me and they're like, so and so said so and so that so and so's
and so's third cousin's uncle's friend's buddy told me and all these things.
And everybody's got their stories and whatever, like playing telephone.
And I often think to myself, you know, I have a great idea.
Why don't we just gather everyone involved in one room with the lights on and let's talk about it.
And then people are like, oh, no, no, no, I don't want to meet with pastor.
I want to meet with pastor.
Well, men love darkness rather than light because their deeds are evil.
Try to live your life in such a way where you can just speak openly about anything and everything.
And you'll keep yourself out of trouble.
A whisperer separateth chief friends.
Go to Proverbs 17.
Look at verse 9.
Proverbs 17, verse 9.
He that covereth the transgressions seeketh love.
But he that repeateth a matter, note of the words, separateth very friends.
You know what the worst type of gossip is?
The worst type of gossip is the speculating gossip.
I would say that's my favorite, but I hate all gossip.
But I think that's the worst of the gossip, the speculating gossip.
What's the speculating gossip?
The, well, I'm not going to give you details, but, you know, they're having issues in their marriage.
You should pray for them.
Like, you don't pray.
Don't tell me you pray.
You don't pray.
If you're gossiping, I can tell you something, you don't pray.
You don't have a prayer life.
You say, what's wrong with the speculating gossip?
You know, the speculating gossip is that people always assume the worst.
Here's a quote for you.
Speculation never goes positive.
When somebody says, like, hey, sister, let me tell you something, you should pray for them.
I'm not going to tell you why, but you should pray for their marriage.
They're not thinking, like, oh, they must be having a great marriage.
She's asking me to pray for them because things are going so well.
You know, speculation always goes negative.
And people always assume the worst.
Proverbs 16, look at verse 28.
Proverbs 16, 28.
A froward man saw with strife, and a whisperer separated chief friends.
Things that are done in secret, like gossip, are genuinely wrong.
You're there in Proverbs.
Flip back to Psalms real quickly, Psalm 101.
I apologize.
I told you all of these scriptures were in Proverbs, and I forgot we had one in Psalms,
which is right before I know some of you are going to gossip about me and say that I lied.
But look, I've already acknowledged it publicly.
I've apologized, okay?
Let it go.
Psalm 101.
You're there in Proverbs.
Flip over to Psalms.
Psalm 101.
Whoso privately slandereth his neighbor, him will I cut off, him that hath an high look,
and a proud heart will not I suffer.
The word slander is defined as a malicious, false, or injurious statement to someone's reputation.
Things that you need to hide, whisper about, or keep the authority out of the loop on
are generally and probably wrong.
And look, a whisperer separated chief friends.
Whoso privately slandereth his neighbor, the Bible says.
You say, what's the problem with gossip is that it hurts reputations.
A whisperer separated the chief friends.
He that repeated the matter separated the very friends.
And you know, over the years, my wife and I have been in ministry now for over 12 years.
And as a result, we've gained a lot of experience.
And over the years, it has become extremely, it's interesting how aware we become.
It's so easy to tell when someone has been gossiping about us or someone has been listening to gossip about us.
And you know, it's interesting because I used to think like, oh, is that just in our heads?
But I remember I told you I was reading that book by Jack Hyles, the Justice book.
Here's a quote from Jack Hyles.
He said, I can look out at my people and spot the ones who have been listening to poison, referring to gossip.
Their spiritual joy is gone and I can see it in their faces.
You say, how can you tell when someone's been gossiping about you?
How can you tell when someone's been listening to gossip about you?
Well, because a whisper separated the chief friends.
And sometimes it's very easy to tell.
Just last week, my wife was having a conversation with, I didn't ask permission for this, but I think it's okay.
My wife was having a conversation with Ms. Joyce Nathan.
And Ms. Joyce and Brother Vijay and Ms. Joyce, some of you may not know this,
but they actually were a pastor and a pastor's wife for many years in India.
And they have a lot of experience in ministry.
And over the years, they've helped me a lot and helped my wife.
In fact, Ms. Joyce, every Sunday morning, my wife and Ms. Joyce have a conversation.
Ms. Joyce always has some nugget of truth to give my wife.
And my wife looks forward to it every week to get her truth from Ms. Joyce.
And oftentimes when we're driving home from church, I'll ask her, what did Ms. Joyce say this week?
Well, she didn't know I was preaching on gossip this week.
But here's the nugget of truth from last week, Ms. Joyce told my wife.
Here's a pastor's wife with a lot of experience.
When people start acting different towards you, pay close attention to who they're hanging around.
This is what a retired pastor's wife was telling a young pastor's wife as a nugget of truth.
When people start acting different towards you, pay close attention to who they're hanging around.
Say, why would she say that?
Because she knew what Jack Howes knew.
What we've all learned in ministry is that a whisperer separated the chief friends.
And you can often tell when someone's heart has been turned against you.
And you walk away thinking, I wonder what they were told that they're never going to tell me.
I wonder what they were told that they're never going to come to me and say,
hey, I was told X, Y, and Z and allow me the opportunity to explain and say, no, that never happened.
Or, yeah, actually, that did happen, but here's the part they didn't tell you.
Or, yeah, actually, that did happen and here's why I did it because it's biblical and here's what the Bible says.
You say, what's wrong with gossip?
It hurts reputations and it hurts relationships.
Number three, go back to Proverbs if you want, Proverbs chapter 11.
We talked about what is gossip.
We talked about what is wrong with gossip.
Thirdly, let's talk about how should we deal with gossip, how to deal with gossip.
Proverbs 11 and verse 3, I've got to finish this thing up, Proverbs 11, 13.
But some of you would listen to gossip for this long, just saying.
Proverbs 11, 13, a tale bearer reveals his secrets, notice these words,
but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.
That's not talking about hiding sin or sweeping it under the rug.
It's talking about in situations where the authorities have already been told,
the people affected have already been told, it's already been dealt with.
You know what a faithful spirit does?
You know what a faithful man, a faithful woman, you know what they do?
They concealeth the matter.
Go to Proverbs 17, look at verse 9, Proverbs 17, verse 9.
Proverbs 17, 9, he that covereth a transgression seeketh love.
To me, I feel like this comes natural.
I realize it doesn't come natural to most people.
I feel like for myself and my wife being in the ministry,
we do so much counseling, obviously our counseling,
in our counseling there's always confidentiality,
and our job is to conceal the matter.
If it doesn't affect you and you're not in the authority to deal with it,
I don't need to tell you about it.
Our job is to cover the transgression.
You say, why?
Because we're seeking love, because we're trying to help people.
You say, how do you deal with gossip?
Number one, it's going to be wordy,
but you gossip like it.
If you cannot deal with what you are being told,
either because it has already been dealt with by those who have authority
over the matter, remember, it isn't my place,
or because it has already been dealt with by those whom it affects,
remember, it isn't my problem.
So if you're being told something and you cannot deal with it,
because it's already been dealt with by the people who have authority
or the people who have been affected, then, you say, what do I do then?
Do not listen to it.
Don't listen to it.
And if you've already heard it, do not repeat it.
What if you were told something?
It's not within your scope of authority.
It doesn't affect you in any way, shape, or form.
It's already been dealt with by the people who have authority.
It's already been told to the people that it affects.
It's already been dealt with.
What do I do?
You don't go on Facebook and tell everybody.
You don't call all your girlfriends and tell them, did you hear about?
No, you just keep your mouth shut.
If you can, you stop them from telling you and you don't listen to it,
and if you did listen to it, then you choose to not repeat it.
You say, what else?
Well, here's another thing you can do, Proverbs 25.
Look at verse 9.
So we're talking about how to deal with gossip.
Number one, if you cannot deal with what you're being told,
either because it has already been dealt with by those who have the authority over the matter
or because it's already been dealt with by those who are affected by it,
then do not listen to it, and if you heard it, do not repeat it.
If it's not your place and it's not your problem, forget about it.
Proverbs 25, 9.
Debate thy cause with thy neighbor himself and discover not a secret to another.
Number two, if you can deal with it.
So number one was if you cannot deal with it.
Well, let's talk about if you can deal with it.
If you can deal with it because you are the person with authority over the situation,
is it my place, or because it affects you, it's your problem,
then deal with it and only involve those who have authority or those who it affects.
Do you hear me?
You say, but it was my daughter.
It was my son.
It did affect us.
I did have authority.
It was my wife, or it was my husband, or it was whatever.
Okay, well then deal with it, but don't go around telling other people who have no authority over it
and it doesn't affect.
That's gossip.
You deal with it if you can deal with it because it's your authority.
If you can deal with it because it affects you, then deal with it,
but only involve those who have the authority.
Debate thy cause with thy neighbor himself and discover not a secret to another.
That's what we talked about in Matthew 18.
Remember, go to thy brother between him and thee alone.
Look, if somebody has sinned against you or done you wrong,
and you can't let it go, this was last week's sermon, then go to them,
but don't go to them in front of a big crowd.
That's not right.
That's not what the Bible says to do.
Don't go to them and everyone else.
That's not right.
That's not what the Bible says to do.
When we talk about gossip, how do you deal with gossip?
If you cannot deal with it because it's not in your authority, because it doesn't affect you,
then go to the person who does have the authority and go to the person who's being affected.
You say, what if the authority already knows and the person who's been affected already knows?
Then shut your mouth.
Don't listen to it and don't repeat it.
And if you're the authority or you've been affected by it,
then deal with it and only involve the people who have authority and have been affected.
It's not that complicated.
I realize that I'm probably going to have to write a book on this at some point.
And by the way, go to the police if it's a sin worthy of death.
If it's what the Bible would put someone to death for, molestation or something like that,
then go to the police.
You say, why? Because they're the authority.
Or if it's something being worthy kicked out of church for, go to the pastor.
You say, why? Because he's the authority.
Proverbs 25, verse 23.
We're almost done.
We talked about how to deal with gossip.
If you cannot deal with it, if you cannot deal with what you're being told,
either because it's already been dealt with by those who have the authority,
or the people who are affected are already knowledgeable,
then do not listen to it.
If you heard it, do not repeat it.
If you can't deal with it because you're the person of authority over the situation or because it affects you,
then deal with it and only involve those who have authority or who are being affected by it.
Anything else is gossip.
But let me just quickly say this.
How to deal with gossips.
I taught you how to deal with gossip.
How about how to deal with gossips?
One verse, very simple.
Proverbs 25, 23.
The north wind driveth away rain.
So here an analogy is being given.
The wind will drive away the rain.
The north wind driveth away rain.
So doth an angry countenance a backbiting tongue.
So what does that mean?
That means that an angry countenance is like giving an angry face, angry look.
It causes that an angry countenance will drive away a backbiting, a slanderous, a gossipy tongue.
So you say, well, how do I deal with gossips?
Gossip will come to me and they'll try to say things.
Don't listen to them. Shut them down. Mean dog them.
Give them an angry look.
Sometimes I will walk over to the staff offices over there,
and as I'm walking through that foyer, there will be a group of teenagers,
and as soon as they see me, you know, they're talking, I can hear them talking,
and as soon as I go around the corner, they all stop.
You say, what do you do, pastor? Here's what I do.
As I'm walking by them, I just look at them like this.
You say, why?
Because an angry countenance will drive away a backbiting tongue.
Say, well, you don't know what they were saying.
I know they weren't okay with saying it in front of me.
I don't care what they were saying. I want them to know I'm against it.
I'm just telling you, Mrs. Gossipy, have you heard of?
What's wrong with you?
Don't listen to them. Shut it down.
Now, I realize, they're my friend and they're this and they're that.
Okay, so let me give you some motivation. Here's some motivation.
Okay, I'm about to say, if you've not been listening to anything I've said this morning,
listen to this. This is what you need to know.
This is a universal truth. This is truth, okay?
There's nothing more true than what I'm going to tell you right now.
If they will gossip to you, they will gossip about you.
And if they're gossiping to you, they're probably gossiping about you.
So if you don't have the empathy to care about other people's reputations and other people's relationships,
then at least have enough selfishness to care about your own reputation and your own relationship
and just realize that if this Jezebel is gossiping to me about someone,
then they're probably more than likely going to go gossip about me to somebody else.
So why don't you just get an angry countenance on your face?
Because the north wind driveth away rain, so does an angry countenance of backbiting tongue.
Look, you reap what you sow.
I always think to myself, when I know people have been gossiping about me and my wife,
I think to myself, they will reap what they've sown.
It will come back around.
And I'm not wishing that upon them. That's just a universal truth of the Bible.
Be not deceived. God is not mocked. For whatsoever man soweth, that shall he also reap.
For that reason, he that soweth to his flesh, shall of his flesh reap corruption,
and he that soweth to the Spirit, shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.
Let us not be weary in well-doing.
That's why I try to treat people well, try to treat people right.
That's why I'm teaching you for seven weeks now on the subject of judgment,
so you can treat people right, so you can do people right, so you can be right to people. Why?
Because when you're good to people, they'll be good to you.
They'll reap what you sow.
But when you listen to gossip, you'll reap what you sow.
And if they're gossiping to you, just write it down. They will gossip about you.
Proverbs 26, look at verse 20. We'll be done right here.
Proverbs 26, 20.
And look, as a pastor in this arena of the church, virtually nothing that's said to me is gossip.
I'm sure there's some things that could be said to me that are gossip,
but virtually nothing that's said to me is gossip or my wife,
because of the fact that often we do counseling and people come to us with struggles or whatever.
We've got authority or whatever.
But look, sometimes I'll go somewhere and people will be like,
Oh, did you hear about Pastor So-and-so? And I'm just like, no, and I don't want to hear it.
No, I just shut down the car. I just start talking about something else or just walk away.
You say, why? Because that's not my place and it's not my problem.
I'm not an authority over them. I can't do anything about it anyway.
Go tell the people it affects. Don't tell me.
You say, why? Because if they're gossiping about that pastor, they'll gossip about this pastor.
If they're spreading slanderous untruths about that guy, they'll spread slanderous untruths about this guy.
Proverbs 26, 20, Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out.
So where there is no tailbearer, the strife ceaseth.
So why is this so important? Because when we learn to deal with gossip and gossips,
surprisingly, there'll be no problems.
People will get along. We'll be able to serve God together as a loving family.
So to help you avoid gossip, I hope you remember this phrase.
I've tried to make it catchy and as simple as possible. You got to ask yourself, is it my place?
Is it my problem? Before I tell something to someone, I ask myself, is it their place?
Is it their problem? What do you mean my place? Is it their position of authority?
Is it their place of authority? Or is it their problem? Is it affecting them?
Is it my place? Is it my position of authority? Or is it my problem?
Is it affecting me or the people under my authority?
You say, why? Because where there is no tailbearer, the strife ceaseth.
Let's bow our heads in our word of prayer.
Heavenly Father, Lord, we thank you for your word. It's so clear.
And Lord, I realize that every single person, every single person in this room,
other than maybe a toddler, maybe a baby,
every single person has probably engaged in gossip at some point in their lives.
We all have. So I pray you help us today to just realize how hurtful it can be.
It can hurt reputations. It can hurt relationships.
And help us to not do it.
Because the truth is that if they would gossip to us, they'll gossip about us.
And help us to treat people the way we'd like to be treated.
In the matchless name of Christ, we pray. Amen.
We're going to have Brother Matt come up and lead us in a final song.
I just want to remind you a couple of things.
First of all, I want to invite you to be back tonight, 6 p.m., for the evening service.
And I am not preaching on gossip, so at least you can look forward to that.
If there's anything we can do for you, please let us know.
Also, don't forget, if you can sign up for the Cookie Fellowship,
we've got two clipboards out there.
And we need cookies for the Youth Rally, Tuesday, March 7th, Wednesday, March 8th.
If you could please go by and sign up to bring cookies, we would really appreciate that.
And of course, I always want to encourage you to invite a friend.
Bring somebody with you next week. Invite somebody to church.
It's always good to be in the house of God.
If there's anything we can do for you, please let us know.
We'll have Brother Matt come up and lead us in a final song.
Turn to song number 15.
Song number 15.
Song 15 on the first.
King of my life, I crown thee now,
mine child of glory be.
Lest I forget thine own crown crown,
lead me to Calvary.
Lest I forget this remedy,
Lest I forget my remedy,
Lest I forget thy wealth for me,
lead me to Calvary.
Show me the truth where thou wast free,
tenderly more than half,
angels and wolves of light have heard,
though it do well still stand.
Lest I forget this remedy,
Lest I forget thine agony,
Lest I forget thy wealth for me,
lead me to Calvary.
Let me like Mary through a room,
well worth a gift to thy hand,
show to me thou an empty tomb,
lead me to Calvary.
Lest I forget this remedy,
Lest I forget thy agony,
Lest I forget thy wealth for me,
lead me to Calvary.
May I be wailing or to bear,
daily by cross for thee,
even a cup of drink to share,
now that we're all for thee.
Lest I forget this remedy,
Lest I forget my agony,
Lest I forget thy wealth for me,
lead me to Calvary.
May I be wailing or to bear,
daily by cross for thee,
even a cup of drink to share,
now that we're all for thee.
Amen.