Amen right where we're there in Genesis chapter number 18 and of course today is Father's Day and
I'm gonna be preaching a sermon to the fathers on the subject of
Fatherhood and being a father and I want to speak this morning on the subject of being involved
Fathers being involved fathers you could just turn me up. Just a hair. I would appreciate it. Thank you
as I look around at our
Society and consider the idea of fatherhood would I would say that the
Biggest problem that we face today with fathers is the fact that so many fathers
Have chosen to be very passive in their parenting
And when I say passive what I what I mean by passive or the definition of the word passive
Means accepting or allowing what happens or what others do without active response or
resistance and
As a Christian and as a pastor and as I look at our society
This is what I see but our society as well as you read about fatherhood in America today
You'll find that one of the biggest
epidemics when it comes to fatherhood is
Passive fathers fathers that are not involved fathers that are not engaged
We have a major problem with that in our society with the fact that there are men who?
Have children, but are not involved in their lives do not
Raise them and do not involve themselves in the lives of their children
But oftentimes even when they're present even when they're in the home. They're not engaged. They're not involved
oftentimes sadly
Men are not the leader that they're supposed to be they're not the spiritual leader. They're not the
husband they're not the father that God has called them to be the Bible teaches us that we should not be
passive as fathers that we should not be passive in our
role as a father, but that we should be active and
involved in our role as
Fathers and in fatherhood you're there in Genesis chapter number 18 like you look down at verse number 18
I want you to notice how God highlights this about a
great father
Abraham in fact Abraham is known as the father of faith
But he obviously also had children in Genesis 18 and verse 18. This is what God says about Abraham
He says seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him
I want you to notice this is what God says about Abraham. I wonder if God could say this of
You and I today here this morning those of us that are fathers. He says in verse 19. He says for I know him
that he will
Command his children and his household after him and they shall keep the way of the Lord
To do justice and judgment that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he had spoken of him here
we have God
testifying to the
Involvement of Abraham and God says about Abraham. I know him. I know that he will command his children
I know that he will command his household
I know that they shall keep the way of the Lord to do justice and judgment
God says I know that Abraham is not going to be a passive father. He's going to be involved
He's going to be active in the parenting of his
children and this morning what I'd like to do and
And I'm preaching to the dads. Of course, I'd like to give you four areas or four
statements regarding
Fatherhood and areas in which we as fathers must be active and involved areas in which we must be involved
But maybe you're here this morning you say well this term is not for me. I'm not a father, you know
I'm just a young man, or I'm just a boy. Well, here's the thing young man one day
You may be a father and this is good for you to learn. Maybe you're here and you say well
I'm a mom or I'm a young lady. Well, these things would apply to moms as well
So you can go ahead you and and you know every time I say father or dad you can intersect mother or mom and
You'll find that this will be helpful for you as well. Maybe you're a grandparent
Well, your job is to get engaged and help your adult children raise their kids for the glory of God
No, it's not your job not to raise your grandkids, but it is to help your adult children raise
Those grandkids for the glory of God. So really the sermon is for all of us this morning
You're there in Genesis 18
I'd like you if you would go to Psalm 78 if you open up your Bible just right in the center
You're more than likely following the book of Psalms Psalm 78
But I would encourage every dad to maybe write these things down for areas in which we must be involved
For areas in which we cannot be passive
We cannot be the dad that is just there
You go to work and this is the idea that many dads have unfortunately say well I provide
For the family and that's all that's required of me and it is definitely required of you to provide for the family
But that's not all that's required of you
And if you think that being a father means you go to work from 8 to 5 and then you come home and sit down
in front of a television
For the rest of the night and and and and then you maybe go fishing on Saturdays
Then you have a wrong idea of fatherhood. We are to be engaged. We are to be involved
We are to be active in the raising of our children you say what are those areas?
Where should I be involved number one this morning involved fathers should disciple their children?
Involved fathers should disciple their children Psalm 78. Are you there look at verse 1 notice what the psalmist says?
He says give ear all my people to my law
Incline your ear to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in a parable
I will utter dark sayings of old here in these two verses
We have the psalmist Asaph and he is speaking to the children of Israel and he says I want you to hear my people
I want you to hear to the laws of God. And of course, he's referring to the Word of God
He says I will open my mouth in a parable and I will utter dark saying Asaph is referring to the fact that he's gonna teach
The Word of God to the people he's asking them to
Hear his parable to hear these dark sayings these old sayings that come from God
But then I want you to notice where Asaph tells us that he got these ideas and this teaching from notice verse 3
he says which we have heard and known notice these words and our fathers have told us I
wonder if our kids
Could grow up and I'm talking about the kids here at Verity Baptist Church the kids
Represented by the fathers in this room this morning that they would grow up one day to be
men and women that are teaching the Word of God to their children teaching the Word of God to another
Generation and they would be able to say let me teach you the things that our fathers have told us
We just had the kids sing a beautiful song faith of our fathers
The idea of the song is that we would take the faith that our fathers have handed down to us and that we would
Hold it near and hold it dear and pass it down to the next generation and here the psalmist says he says let me tell
You what that which we have heard and known and our fathers have told us notice verse 4
He says we will not hide them from their children
Showing to the generation to come the praises of the Lord and his strength and his wonderful works that he hath done
For he established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel notice these words
Which he commanded our fathers that they should make them known to their children
Listen to me that the Bible says it is your job to train and disciple your children in the things of God
It's your job. You say well, I bring my kids to church and then I'm gonna let the pastor teach them the Word of God
Well part of what your responsibility is to bring your kids to church so that they could have a pastor that would teach them the
Word of God, but let me tell you something. It's your job dad to teach the Word of God to your children a
Dad that is involved a dad that is engaged a dad that is active
He won't take this attitude
Like it says in verse 4 that he's gonna hide the Word of God from his children and involved dad says we will not hide
Them from their children showing to generations to come he says that we will teach our children verse 5 for he established a testimony
In Jacob and appointed a law in Israel which commanded our fathers that
That they should make them known to their children notice the words in verse 6 that the generation to come
might know them
That the children which should be born or who should arise and declare them to their children
You've heard me say this in the past. There is no success without succession
There is no point of us
Living godly separated a spirit filled lives if we do not figure out a way to then pass that
Faith on to our children. We will have failed
We if we start a church like Verity Baptist Church and and raise up a soul winning army
like the church like the army that this church has
Become and do all the things that God has allowed us to accomplish and yet it goes to waste
With the next generation we will have failed
We
Need to make sure that we can pass on our beliefs pass on our values pass on our
integrity and our character to the
generation to come
It's a sad statement and I won't have you turn there
In fact, I'd like you to go to the book of Proverbs if you would you're there in Psalms you go to Proverbs
but it's a sad statement and at the beginning of the book of Judges when it talks about a
generation that rose up who knew not the Lord
When Joshua had died and the elder men had died and the generation that knew God that walked with God that fought the battles
For God, it talks about a generation that rose up who knew not the Lord
Let it never be said a Verity Baptist Church that a generation rose up who knew not the Lord
You say how will we fight against that? How will we keep that from happening? It will require dad
It will require moms and it will require dad. But today that I'm speaking to you
It is your job to train your children
Now here's the very specific question I have for you dad
Because it's easy to say that's train your kids that train your kids that decide for your kids and it's easy for us to say
Yes, that's true. Yes, that's true. There's a very specific question I have for you. Dad. When do you train your children?
Could you point at a time during the week at a time a
Day when you take your kids aside
I'm not saying spending time with them
That's a part of being a good dad and we'll talk about that later on in the sermon
I'm saying when do you instruct your children?
If you can't answer that question
I'm not trying to beat up on you and I'm not trying to make you feel bad
I'm just telling you you may be a passive dad
And we need you to get engaged
You may be an inactive dad and we need you to get become active
Proverbs chapter 4 notice verse 1 Proverbs chapter 4 in verse 1 Proverbs 4 1 says this
Hear ye children
the instruction of a father and
Attend to no understanding the book of Proverbs is one of the most well-known books in the entire Bible
It is the book of wisdom
It is a book filled with
Proverbs and sayings meant to help us in a very practical way. The book of Proverbs is an extremely
Practical book the book of Proverbs is of course given by God
It is the Word of God
The Bible says that holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost with all that said and all that being
True. I want you to understand the book of Proverbs was a book written by a father to his son
Primarily there's some chapters there that are not necessarily that
Stop and think about that
Solomon wrote down these sayings for his children hear ye the instruction of a father and
Attend to no understanding
Notice what he says in verse 2. He says for I give you good doctrine
Dad I'm not trying to beat up on you, but I want you to answer the question
You don't have to answer it out loud, but you should answer in your heart if you care about your children
Yeah, I'd answer this question. When do you teach your children doctrine?
Forsake ye not my law
When do you teach your children the laws of God the Word of God?
And notice what Proverbs says in verse 3 for I was my father's son
Tender and only beloved in the sight of my mother here
We have Solomon saying I had a dad who was involved with me who cared for me who gave time to me
Notice what he says in verse 4. He says he who's the he there. It's his father verse 3
For I was my father's son tender and only beloved in the sight of my mother then he says this he taught me also
and
Said unto me let thine heart retain my words
Keep my commandments and live
We all ought to be involved in the raising of our children
We all ought to be involved in the training of our children, but dad the question for you is this when do you train?
When do you instruct
When do you teach your kids
The things they need to know for life go to Proverbs chapter 22 if you would
Proverbs chapter 22
see involved fathers should
disciple their children I
Realize that our church is primarily a homeschool church not everyone in our church home schools and we understand that not everybody's able to and
And and we love you if you don't homeschool and and all of that
But the vast majority of the families in our church homeschool and as a result
I understand that the moms are the ones who are primarily home and deal with the Bible time and and and and and the daily
devotionals, and I sure hope you moms are having some daily devotionals with your kids I
Don't understand what the purpose of taking your kids out of a public education in order to give them a Christian education
And then we leave out the Christian part
But dad it is your job to engage as well
Something I read years ago, and I've given this as advice to some of the dads in our church, and this is something that I've
Tried to practice myself is I think dads especially as their kids get older should have some private time with their kids
one on one
To you said to do what to play video games now
to train them
to help them
to instruct them
Now there are some things that young people need to learn and they're just not going to learn it unless some dad
Decides he's interested and and and gets involved in the life of his children proverbs 22
Are you there look at verse 6 notice what the Bible says proverbs 22 verse 6 train up a child in the way?
He should go
That's not passive
That's not well. Let's take him to church and hopefully it all works out
No train up a child in the way
You should go that word train has an idea there requires a lot of energy and effort
You ever hired an employee or maybe you've been a boss or a business owner you have an employee
You don't just hire an employee and start getting the fruit of his labor all of a sudden
There's some time required there to train them
And and you say well, it would be easier for me to do it myself
It would be easier for you to do it yourself
But the person missing out on the training is the one who needs it
Train up a child and the way he should go notice and when he is old he will not depart from it
I often say this and I hope you'll remember this we are not raising children. We are raising adults
We are raising children that will grow up to be adults. We are not training them up so that they can be good obedient
Toddlers or children we are training them up so that when he is old when she is old they will not depart from it
So when do you train that?
When do you instruct?
When do you open up the Bible with your children and read from the Word of God and say let me teach you something you
Need to know son
Let me teach you something. You need to know daughter
Ephesians chapter 6 if you would keep your place in Proverbs, we're gonna come back to it
We're gonna come back to the book of Proverbs throughout the sermon
So I like you'd be able to get to it quickly keep your place there in Proverbs go up into the New Testament book of
Ephesians Ephesians chapter 6 you have Matthew Mark Luke John Acts Romans 1 second Corinthians Galatians Ephesians
Do me a favor when you get to Ephesians keep your place there as well because we're gonna leave it and we're gonna come back
To it and I'd like you to be able to get to it quickly
So keep your place in Proverbs and Ephesians Ephesians chapter 6
Look at verse 4 the Bible says in you fathers provoked not your children to wrath
We'll come back to that in a minute. I want you to notice the last part of the verse that says but bring them up
That means to raise them
That means in the process in which you're raising them bring them up you say how should I bring them up here's how in the
nurture and admonition of
football is that what it says and
The nurture and admonition of baseball. Is that what it says?
In the nurture and admonition of hunting. Is that what it says?
Now there's none in the world wrong with a dad playing football with his son or baseball with his son or or
Hunting with his son. There is something wrong with a dad skipping church to go hunting with a son
But I'm not saying there's anything wrong nothing sinful about hunting
But the Bible says that we must bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord
Hey that when you die, what will your children say about you?
Dad was a great football player. He loved football
I mean when football season started you wouldn't see him at church for the next six months
That's how much he loved football. Is that what they're gonna say about you?
Dad was a great hunter. I mean he loved hunting
Are they gonna say dad was a great Christian?
Dad loved the Lord
The Bible says that God the Bible says that God has given you the responsibility man to bring them up in the nurture
the word nurture has this idea of caring to care and to encourage and
Admonition the word admonition means that we warn and we give advice and we say no don't do that or no
Don't go there or no. This is what you ought to do in the nurture and admonition of the Lord
So what do involved fathers do
How do they get engaged? First of all, they take the responsibility of discipling their children for the glory of God
They must disciple their children
You must see your children as young converts in your home and your job is to disciple them
Your job is to help them grow spiritually. Your job is to help them walk with the Lord
To bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord
Let me give you a second thought this morning keep your place there in Ephesians if you would and go back to Proverbs Proverbs
Chapter number three. I said number one this morning involved fathers should disciple their children
Let me give you a second thought you can write this down involved fathers should discipline their children
Involved fathers should discipline their children
Dad we must consistently discipline our children
Proverbs chapter 3 and verse 11 says this my son despise not the chastening of the Lord
Neither be wary of his correction for whom the Lord loveth. He corrected
Do you know that God is a loving Heavenly Father?
Who corrects his children?
In fact, the Bible tells us here don't despise despise not the chaste of the Lord neither
Beware of his correction for whom the Lord loveth. He corrected notice the words even as a father
Even as a father
What does that mean it means this that God
Corrects us even as the Bible the words even as mean in the same way that a father the son in whom he
Delighted you say what can we take away from that? Here's what we take away from that
It is our job dad to consistently discipline the children now
I don't mean by that that it is the dad's job and not the mom's job
It's both parents jobs to discipline the children. But here's what I do mean by that. Is that it's not the mom's job alone dad
There are these
imbalances these extremes with imbalances and
One extreme is that dad does all the discipline one extreme is that mom does all the discipline both are wrong
Both mom and dad need to be engaged in the disciplining of their children
But since I'm speaking to dads this morning, let me say this dad be involved
For
Whom the Lord loveth he corrected even as a father the son in whom he delighted
Go to Proverbs 13. If you would you're there in Proverbs 3 go to Proverbs 13 and verse 24
Proverbs 13 and verse 24
Proverbs 13 24 says this he that spareth his rod don't miss his dad
He that spares I love him too much to spank to spank my children. That's a lie. I
Don't think you should say that well, I'm not saying it the Word of God is saying it I call you a liar God did
You don't like it take it up with God
Here's what the Bible says he that spare this rod hated the Sun. I
Love my children too much to spank them. No the Bible says when you don't spank your children you hate them
Well, how can that be here's how it can be when you rest when you when you raise
When you produce
Undisciplined brats
When you produce children that don't learn proper boundaries that don't learn how to show respect
That don't learn how to socially deal with others
Use it. Well, I love them too much. Here's the problem. You're gonna let that 18 year old loose
with a bunch of grown men that don't care
Somebody people come to church like very back to church and they say well pastors to me and he's always preaching all these things
It's ain't all these main things about me
You're so mean. No, you just never had a dad that disciplined you and
Then you get a job and then you come to a church and then you go work somewhere and there's actually a man there
with some hair on his legs who says no and
You roll your eyes and get angry and get all upset because you've never had somebody say no
Let me let you in on a little secret sometimes that little darling of yours is gonna grow up
At some point that little prince of yours is gonna grow up
And he's gonna have a boss and he's gonna have a pastor and he's gonna have a police officer
And he's gonna have all sorts of people around him that don't think he's the greatest thing in the world like you do
The best thing you could do for your kids is to discipline them properly
He had spared this rod hated the Sun
But he that loveth him
Chasteneth him be times the word be times means early consistently
See we must consistently discipline our children
Dad you must be engaged in the child rearing
And the child raising and the child discipline aspect go to Ephesians chapter 6 Ephesians chapter 6
Sometimes I see very Baptist Church like a boot camp when I was in the Air Force
We went to the boot camp and those drilling structures started yelling at us
And I think every drill instructor probably says this but they started yelling and as they said we're gonna do in the next eight weeks
What your parents failed to do in 18 years?
Sometimes when people come to Verity Baptist Church
I think to myself we're gonna do in the next however long you stick it out around
I stick it out here what your parents failed to do for you
Because God's law is not a joke
We actually take the Word of God seriously
We actually believe what we say your parents may not have your parents may have said don't do that again
And I'll spank you and you did it again, and they didn't spank you
now listen Billy you slap me in the face one more time and
Don't do it. Don't you just kept slapping her and slapping her and slapping her and there was never any consequences
But that's not the real world my friend
There's consequences to our actions
Like I said there are two extremes when it comes to
Parenting and let me just say this and and and I want to help you out the dads who say it's mom's job to
Spank and not to be in I'm not gonna be involved you need to engage
You need to get involved
But let me just say this
There's also this extreme that says only dads are to discipline. That's not appropriate either
You say pastor well
Who do you think should discipline the children the children should be spanked by the parent that they offended?
If mom said go do XYZ and the children didn't do it then mom needs to get up and spank the child
so that they'll love and respect mom and
If that said do XYZ and they don't do it or they did do it or whatever
Then that needs to get up and spank the children
Let me just say this be careful about being the dad who's just the disciplinarian I?
Remember I had a pastor who told a story about how in his home. They had this rule
Where if they got in trouble with mom during the day
Then they would get a spanking from dad when he got home and the problem with the rule is that he began to really kind
of hate his dad
He he would dread his dad coming home from work because every time his dad came home from work
He was gonna get a spanking because every kid does something wrong for their mom during the day
You know let that not be in our homes
Don't be the father that comes home after work and and and just start spanking your children
You know if they if kids did something wrong then mom needs to deal with it during the day
You need to get engaged mom
We need to be careful with this idea of discipline
We must consistently discipline, but we must do it in a balanced way by balance
I mean that dads and moms must both discipline, but by balance. I also mean that we must do it in the right spirit
See we must consistently discipline, and we must lovingly discipline
Ephesians chapter 6 look at verse 4 notice what the Bible says
Ephesians chapter 6 verse 4 the Bible says any fathers any
Fathers, I want you to notice that specifically said to dads because I think that's are the ones that struggle with this any fathers
Provoke not your children to wrath
The word wrath means anger you say what does that mean sometimes dads can be too rough?
Unfortunately dads are sometimes known as
Having short tempers
short fuses
being angry
You don't want your kids to feel like they have to walk on eggshells around your dad
You don't want your kids to feel like they have to tiptoe around you because the wrong
Just one wrong word or one wrong looks gonna set you off
The Bible says that we must bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord
Part of that has to do with the fact that we're not provoking our children to wrath
Go to Colossians chapter number three Colossians chapter number three you learn Ephesians you got Philippians Colossians Colossians chapter number three
Dad I don't know if you know this I don't know if you understand this
But the weight of your influence is amazing when it comes to your children
The weight of your impact is amazing when it comes to your children
And it's amazing when it's used properly and it is unbearable when it is misused
Colossians 3 and verse 21 says this fathers provoke not your children to anger
Lest they be notice this word
discouraged
You know that your attitude to your children can discourage them
The word discouraged means to obstruct or to deprive of confidence
Our job is not to
Trade our children and the the interesting thing, and I don't know why we're like this
I don't know why human beings are like this
but the interesting thing is this that we will be the most rude to the people that we love the most and
Part of it is because we love them so much
Because we're so close to them. We'll say things to our kids that we would never say to anybody else
We'll say things to our spouse that we would never say to anybody else
But because you say well, I it's because I'm so close to them
That's why I'm free to speak that way, but because you're so close to them your words are very happy
See when a stranger says mean things to your kids out and about it means nothing when that does
It can hurt so bad
This is why people often talk about as adults. They have daddy issues
Because they often had dads
That provoked their children to wrath
Dad who are always angry always upset
Always on a short fuse the kids had to be on eggshells. They don't have memories of laughing with Dad
They don't have memories of having a good time
That's just always under stress and always upset listen you say I want to be an involved father
Involved fathers should disciple their children and involved fathers should discipline their children that should be done in a proper and balanced way
Let me give you a third one this morning. Go back to proverbs if you would
Proverbs chapter 3
The problem with parenting today is and and fatherhood today is that many fathers are disengaged
They're passive
We need you to get involved dad. So how do I do that? Well number one you must involve yourself by
Disciplining your children instructing your children teaching your children the word of God secondly you must involve yourself by
Disciplining your children properly consistently and lovingly
Let me give you a third one
This morning involved fathers should delight in their children
Involved fathers should delight
They should find their joy and their delight in their children. We should be close to our children
We read proverbs chapter 3 there verses 11 and 12 let me I want you to see him again
My son despised not to chase the Lord neither beware of his correction for whom the Lord loveth
He corrected even as a father the son in whom he don't miss it delighteth you see that
Even as a father the son in whom he delighteth the word delight means a high degree of pleasure or enjoyment
Dad do your children feel like you're a burden to them
Like you're in there, they're always in your way
Like things would be better if if if they if they just left you alone
Involved fathers should delight in their children. We should be close to our children
We should have close relationships and intimate relationships with our children
You're there in Proverbs go backwards to the book of Job if you would job 29 while you turn there
Let me just read to you from Romans and Galatians
You go to job 29 in Romans chapter 8 and verse 15
The Bible says this for you have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear
This is about our salvation the fact that we were adopted into the family of God
Says for you have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you have received the spirit of adoption whereby we cry
Abba father
Romans 8 15 has this unique word
And it only comes up three times in our New Testament is the word Abba a bb a the
Paul says that because we've received the spirit of adoption. We cry Abba father in
Galatians chapter 4 and verse 6
He says this and because you are sons God has sent forth the spirit of his son into your hearts crying notice the words
Abba father
The word Abba is a transliteration
It's not an English word. It was just brought from a different language into our English Bible. It is a
familiar and close way of addressing a father
The reason that it says we cry Abba father
We cry Abba father is because the word Abba is a way of addressing a father
But it is a very familiar and close way of addressing father
It's not exactly the same as the word dad or daddy
but for sake of illustration a we it would say like like saying dad or daddy a
Two-year-old and a three-year-old they don't say father. I have a glass of chocolate milk
They say daddy
dad
Why because they're they're close?
Because they're intimate
Paul here is saying that we have received the spirit of adoption whereby we cry Abba
Father that we are that he God has sent forth the spirit of his son into your hearts crying Abba father now
We understand that we approach God the father in a reverent way
And there's and and we were taught by Jesus to approach him and say our father which are in heaven hallowed be thy name
And we should approach him in a reverent way, but in Romans and Galatians
He says yes, we approach God the father in a reverent way
But you know the spirit of adoption that's inside of us allows us to call him Abba
allows it you say what's the idea the idea is this that God desires God our Heavenly Father desire to have a an
intimate and close relationship with his children
And by the way, let me say this to those of you who and I don't mean this in a disrespectful way
But who may have some of those daddy issues and maybe you had a dad that wasn't involved or wasn't engaged or you were abandoned
I'm sorry for that and I wish that I could
Influence and engage every dad to be involved in the lives of his children. That's why I'm preaching this sermon
That's why I'm trying to at least help the men in this room to not be the passive fathers
but maybe you grew up with a passive father, but let me tell you you have a heavenly father that loves you and
Cares about you and wants to be engaged in your life
You may have never had a man that you could say daddy
You may have had a father but not a dad you may have had a father but not a daddy
But you've got a Heavenly Father that you can say about two
you can cry to your father and
This teaches us that we as earthly fathers
Should have a close
relationship with our children
Even as a father the son in whom he delighted
We've been studying the book of Job on Wednesday nights
I pointed this out to the Wednesday night crowd when we were in it
But I'd like you to notice it again in job 29. We find job being a highly successful man
Successful in business successful in all sorts of areas of life, but one area that he was very successful in was with his children. I
Said that it is our job to raise not children, but adults
One of the reasons that we must delight in our children is because we when our children get to the place where we can no
longer tell them what to do we want to still have the
Respect and the love to be able to influence their lives even when they we when they don't have to listen to us
Job and job 29 is reminiscing about how things used to be and of course at this point in the book his children have all died
In job 29 in verse 1 he says moreover job continued his parable and said oh that I were as in months past as in the
Days when God preserved me and then in verse 5 he gives us a little secret to the success of his parenting
He says when the almighty was yet with me, and then he says this when my children were about me
What about means around?
If you're familiar with military terms you know that the command to about face is to turn around
It's a circle around and he says here my children were about me
He says there was a day and months past when the almighty was yet with me when my children were about me
He says my children were around me. I believe that job was a the Bible tells us
He was a perfect and an upright man. He was complete in all of his areas
He was mature in all of his areas, and I believe that as a father. He was not passive but engaged and
He would say there was a time when my children were about me
My children were around me
My children spent time with me
See we should be close to our children like God wants us to be close to him
Calling him Abba father, and we should spend time with our children
I'd like to read to you just a few excerpts here from an article called the daddy factor
The crucial impact of fathers on young children's development
This is a secular
Study, but I thought it was interesting. I'm not gonna read the whole thing to you
I'll just read to you a few lines a few excerpts. It says dads matter a lot
The relationship between father and child has a deep impact on children's healthy
development and all domains language thinking physical social and emotional
It says check out the fatherhood facts below that show the many ways dads positively impact children's long-term development
Research shows that when a father is involved during pregnancy. He's more likely to be involved in parenting later on
babies who have fathers who are affectionate are more securely attached to their fathers and research shows that secure
attachments have a positive benefit that lasts into adulthood
Children who are securely attached do better academically they are also more sociable and well-liked
Children whose fathers are involved in their daily care tend to be more confident and as they grow older enjoy stronger social connections with peers
fathers who are actively involved tend to
Experience less conflict with their wives this strengthens the marital relationship and is a and has a long-term benefit for children
Fathers who are who care for
Nurture and play with their children raise children with higher IQs and with better language and cognitive skills the more time
Father spend and enriching stimulating play with their child the better the child's math and reading scores are at
ages 10 and 11 years old
This is not about believing Christian. This is just a social
program that studied these things and
And
Dads you need to understand that if you're going to be engaged you must delight in your children
When it comes to children love is spelled T. I am e
You must spend time with your kids
When it comes to your younger children the time is all about
Quantity when it comes to your older children the time is all about quality
Either way we must spend time with our children
My wife was telling me she's reading a book on
Raising teenagers and all sorts of studies done on teenagers
And let me just try to give some advice to some of you raising teenagers the one of the big
Characteristics of teenagers is that they seem to disengage a little bit
Before they wanted to go to the grocery store with you now
They don't want to go to the grocery store before they wanted to go to run errands now
They know before they want every time you went out somewhere in public
They wanted to be with you in public when they're teenagers
They don't want to be you know seen with their parents in public for some reason
Here's the advice whenever your older children and specifically teenagers give any sort of hint as wanting to spend time with you
You need to drop everything and spend time with them
Because when it comes to raising children when it comes to raising children love is spelled T. I am e
We must spend time with our children. We must be like job where you said when my children were about me
We must delight in our children
You must give them
the time and spend time and develop memories I
Said number one involved fathers should disciple their children number two involved fathers should discipline their children number three
Involved fathers should delight in their children. Let me give you a fourth one go back to proverbs chapter number 20
Proverbs chapter 20
I said number four involved fathers should demonstrate
Integrity to their children
Involved fathers should demonstrate integrity to the children see it's not just enough to teach them you have to do it, too
You've got to set the example dad
Proverbs chapter 20 look at verse 7 notice what the Bible says
Tell me this isn't described job a just man walketh in his integrity his children are blessed after him
When you walk in integrity when you do right when you're nobody said you have to be sinless or perfect
But when you are mature when you are in every area of your life trying to be whole and true and honest
The Bible says that a just man walketh in his integrity and as a result his children are blessed after him
Involved fathers should demonstrate integrity their children. They should model the Christian life for their children
They should set the example for their children
Proverbs 23 if you would look at verse 26
Proverbs 23 in verse 26 the Bible says this my son give me thine heart
Please don't miss this. This is where you want to be with your parenting
This is what you need to be with your children
Where you can say my son my daughter give me thine heart
What does that mean that that they've given you the place of influence in their lives that their influence is not going to come from?
Television is not going to come from media. It's not going to come from their peers, but that they would have enough of
Relationship and enough respect with you mom and dad that when you say no, I don't think that's good
I don't think you should do that. I don't think you should go there
I don't think that's the right thing to do that. They would listen to you and that you would have their influence
The the proverb here says my son give me thine heart
But don't miss this though these two things go together and let thine eyes observe my ways
What are your sons and daughters learning from your dad
By observing you
Mean I asked the question when do you instruct your children and for some of you unfortunately the answer was I'm not picking on you
I'm just I
Understand how this goes for some of you. There's no answer there. I don't know when I instruct my children well
Let me tell you this if you may not be instructing them verbally, but you're instructing them with your
demonstration
With the example that you said
What are your son's learning about how to treat their future wife based on how they see you treat their mother?
What are your daughters learning about how they should be treated by their future husband based on how you treat their mother?
Let me let you know a little secret that
We preach again. We preach a lot against fornication and a lot against all these things and and I'm all for it
But when it comes to my daughters
You know the biggest the biggest plan that I have for my daughter
And I have lots of plans and they involve guns
But the biggest of plans that I have for keeping my daughters pure and safe is
That they would grow up seeing a dad who loves and respects their mother
That they would grow up seeing a dad who loves and respects them that they would have be so loved by their dad
That they would not put up with a jerk trying to put their hands on them
One of the reasons that these girls are so loose
That they're so
Low with their standards is that they have daddy issues
They never had a dad that showed them to respect their bodies and to respect themselves and to not let some jerk that hasn't committed
To them that hasn't even showed himself a man yet to to touch their body
Dad you say what should my goal be your goal should be to treat your wife like such a princess to treat your daughter
like such a princess to treat them like such a
Valuable individual that they would not put up with some jerk
You're interested you have a job
You're interested me you you got nothing good. What do you have going for you? I put your hand on me take your hand off me
Punch him in the face punch him in the gut you say you treats violence. I teach my kids my girls to defend themselves
The goal is that we would raise young ladies that would see themselves so valuable they would say no no
You will get a ring and we'll talk and before you get a ring get a job
Get a savings account
Get a vehicle
How you gonna take care of me say I don't think that's right you do what you want. I'm just telling you this
What is it that you're?
Teaching your kid mom with your looseness. Are you teaching your kids? You don't value your body?
Is that what you just want to teach your daughters don't value your body
Let men just do whatever they want with you
What are your children learning about how to treat their future fellow church members based on how they see you treat your fellow church members
What are your children learning about how to?
Talk about their future
Employer based on how they hear you talk about your employer
What are your children learning about how to treat their future pastor and pastor's wife based on how they see you?
treat your pastor and your pastor's wife
I'm just saying that that you're you need to instruct your children with words, but you need to back those words up with actions
Involved fathers should demonstrate integrity to their children
I'm thankful for the home
I grew up in and I'm thankful for the mom and dad that I have when you heard me say this before one of the
Memories that I have when I was when we were growing up
We were very poor and I grew up primarily especially before as I was a teenager
We grew up in a in a two-bedroom home
which means my parents had a room and and my sister had a room and of course, she's a
young lady, so she needed her privacy and my brother and I slept in
The living room and the first 10-12 years of my life. I I grew up
sleeping on a couch and that that's how life was and I
I'm not traumatized by it
In fact, it taught me something about covetousness
There's more to life than money
One of the memories that I have because I slept on the couch in the living room
one of the memories that I have as a young kid is being woken up by the light in the
In the kitchen and watching my dad read his Bible early in the morning
Before he went to work
You don't think that influenced us?
You don't think that had an impact on us?
Involved fathers should demonstrate
Character and integrity to their children go to Joshua chapter 24 Joshua chapter 24
Here's all I'm saying some of you dad is you need you need to get involved
Some of you are so disengaged you couldn't even be bothered to take notes this morning
I'm not mad at you. I'm just trying to shake you a little bit
There is no success without succession
We need to take this idea of parenting and of raising our children and make it a priority
Yeah, I don't want to be a passive dad well you better get engaged you better get involved
Involved fathers must disciple their children and discipline their children and delight in their children and demonstrate to their children
How to live for God
a
Joshua chapter 24 if you would
Before I read diversity I'd like to read
Another passage of from a book I was
Read a book a couple of years ago
on
Being an effective leader effective leading an effective life
and in that book
The man who wrote the book is now dead
It's a very famous book in that book there was a
Little intro entitled a
Covey family tribute to a highly effective father
This was something written by adult children about their father who is now dead
It's very long, and I'm gonna read to you a
Lengthy section of it if you don't mind. I'm not gonna read the whole thing to you and
It's not about what they say
And it's not about this man
Specifically I'm not necessarily saying this was a perfect guy or that he was even saved or anything like that
But as you read these children's writings about their father it's
very evident that he
Disciplined them and discipled them and delighted in them and demonstrated to them
What a good man was you know that even unsafe people can raise good kids
Sad thing is sometimes unsafe people do a better job at raising kids than Christians do I?
Just thought this was interesting
When I read it
Here's what they said these are adult children speaking about their dad
They said there's no doubt that our father's habit of sharpening the saw ultimately saved a life that day in Montana
Growing up we often saw him doing what he called winning the daily private victory
Early in the morning by meditating reading his scriptures and exercising that particular afternoon
He was quietly reading on the beach while enjoying the beautiful view of the lake when he heard a faint cry help me
Using the binoculars he always seemed to carry with him to search for wildlife
He zoomed in on a fisherman's float tube out in the lake someone was desperately hanging on
To the edge about to fall into the ice-cold water
Quickly our father jumped onto his jet ski and reached the tube where he found a heavily intoxicated man
He pulled him out onto his jets jet ski and brought him back to shore
He then searched for the man's family at a nearby campground and found that they were totally unaware
He was even missing as they had been drinking as well a few years later the man
He rescued related his story to a large group claiming
It was a turning point in his life unaware of who had rescued him that day
He was grateful that someone had cared enough to hear his cry and save him this incident is symbolic of our father Stephen R. Covey
Who was a type of lifeline not only for his posterity of nine children and 54 grandchildren?
But also to a multitude of people and organizations who have been inspired and forever changed by his book
Dad they said was a man for all seasons and lived with integrity
Throughout the years he had many opportunities to train world leaders and heads of states and considered it a great privilege and responsibility
Once during a discussion when everyone in the group was criticizing the venue current US president
He remained noticeably silent when asked why he hadn't joined in the melee
He simply responded I may have the chance to influence him someday
And if I do I don't want to be a hypocrite
several months later this same president called dad and
Said he had just finished reading his book for the second time and asked if dad could personally train him in applying the principles
By the end of his life dad had met with 31 heads of states including four presidents of the United States
Our father never taught anything without striving to live at first
This was especially true of the seven habits, which he researched and developed over many years well before the book was published
He was a master of being proactive and much to our
Vaxation while growing up we were never allowed to make excuses or blame our circumstances friends or teachers for our problems
We were simply taught to make it happen or choose another response
Luckily our mother allowed us to be victims and blame other people on occasion
She provided a healthy balance to our father dad's RNI
Resourcefulness and initiative as he called it was legendary once
He was stuck in a traffic jam due to construction and was in jeopardy of missing his plane
He decided he couldn't wait anymore and instructed the cab driver that he was exiting the cab to redirect
Traffic so that the lane could start moving and to pick him up down the road the cab driver was stunned
You can't do that. He said to which dad gleefully responded watch me
He got out and directed the traffic so that his lane began moving again
Along with honks and cheers from cars in the lane his cab driver picked him up and he made his flight
Our family knew him as
unpretentious and
uninhibited often carrying on full
Conversations with strangers while wearing fake buck teeth and outrageous wigs to cover his trademark bald head so he could be incognito
One time he was asked to leave a golf course because he got bored with golfing and started enormous water fight with a friend
He cringed when he got we cringed when we got trapped in an elevator with him knowing that within seconds
He would turn and face the other passengers
Violating their personal space and with a big smile on his face cheerfully say you may have wondered why I called this short meeting and then
laugh hysterically at his own joke
We learned not to care so much what others thought and to just enjoy his fun loving personality
They said our father tried really hard to walk the talk and practice what he preached
They often apologized to us when he'd fallen short saying things like son
I'm sorry that I lost my temper with you or darling. That was an unkind thing for me to say
What can I do to make it up to you?
People frequently ask us what it was like
Growing up with him as if he couldn't possibly be as good as he seemed although he was by no means perfect
And struggled with such things as being patient while waiting in traffic jams or while mom got ready
There wasn't a discernible gap between what he taught and how he lived
He was who you thought and hoped he would be perhaps the greatest compliment
We can pay our father is this as good as he was in public as an author and a teacher
He was even better in private as a husband and a father and we loved him for that consistency
We all knew that dad would rather spend time with his family than with anyone else
And he proved it by how he managed his time and put first things first
Though he traveled a lot under many demands of his time
He rarely missed anything really important to us like a birthday or a basketball game sometimes planning up to two years in advance
He continually made deposits into each one of our emotional bank accounts with one-on-one dates and modeled that in
Relationships the little things are the big things
He was the master of teaching moments and would apply true principles to whatever we were dealing with
Encouraging us to make decisions based on our values and not how we felt in the moment
He taught by example that life is a mission and not a career and that we could find true happiness by serving others
We will always be grateful for such a great father and Papa as the grandkids like to call him
his legacy now lives in us and in all those who have been influenced by his
magnificent spirit and inspiring teachings to live lives of integrity to contribute to make a difference in the world and to rise to the
Greatness that lies within each of us
And now the only reason I read that is just to illustrate this idea I
Wonder what our kids will say about us when we're gone. I
Wonder if they'll have memories of laughing with us
If they'll have memories of us instructing them
They'll have memories of us
disciplining them properly I
Wonder if they'll be able to say my dad was a man of integrity. He demonstrated godly character
I'm just telling you we need to be engaged
We need to be involved
Joshua 24 and verse 15 says this will finish up
Joshua said and if it seemed evil unto you to serve the Lord
Choose you this day whom ye will serve
Whether the gods which our fathers serve that were on the other side of the flood or the gods of the Amorites in Whom's land
ye dwell
Why don't you notice a statement that Joshua makes this was not a passive man
He said but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord
Wonder what would happen at Mary Baptist Church of men rose up and said as for me and my house we will serve the Lord
Wonder what would happen in this community?
What would happen in our nation if men decided to quit being passive and become active to quit being disengaged and get engaged
They realized that it was their responsibility to disciple their children and discipline their children to delight in their children and to
demonstrate to their children
Godly character and integrity if men stood up and said but as for me and my house
We will serve the Lord on this Father's Day. I hope you dads
Will make a decision and say I will get engaged. I
Will live a life of character. I
Will spend time with my kids I will discipline them properly. I will disciple them in the Word of God. I will delight in them
that the generation to come
Might not raise up and say there was a generation that knew not the Lord
But that the generation to come would be able to truly sing with our kids saying this morning that they will hold
Near and dear the faith that their fathers have handed down to them
Let's pray together. Heavenly Father
Lord we thank you for fathers
We thank you for men. I know there are men in this room that take their parenting very seriously
They
Want to raise godly children
Lord I pray you'd help all of us. I pray you'd help all men in this room
If they're disengaged or if they're disengaged in any of these areas we talked about
That they would decide today to get engaged
Lord I pray there'd be some men in this room that would say you know what I've been passive too long
I'm gonna get up tomorrow morning and read the Bible
I'm gonna begin to walk with God and serve God and live for God
And I'm gonna raise my children to do the same
Thank you Heavenly Father for being a good father
Thank you for all the fathers represented here, and I do thank you for my father
Raised us up in the nurturing and admission of the Lord. We love you in the matchless name of Christ. We pray. Amen