all right well we're there in Matthew 13 and we're just focused in on the last
little piece of that chapter and it's interesting in that chapter because it
gives us a little bit of insight into the relationship of Christ and his
physical family on the earth if you look at verse 54 it says and when he
was come into his own country so Jesus is going back back home it's
like pastor Anderson was talking about that he was raised in Sacramento
it's like when he goes to Sacramento you know and here Jesus is going back to his
own country and notice in verse 55 is the the people are saying is not this
the carpenter son is not his mother called Mary and his brethren so here we
find that Jesus had brothers and their name James Joseph Simon Judas and
his sisters are they not all with us so we find that he's got sisters so of
course we know that the Catholic teaching that Mary was a perpetual
virgin is a lie Jesus here it's very clear that he has some physical
brethren and tonight I want to preach kind of a unique sermon and at least
unique to me I don't I've touched on this subject in sermons before but I
don't think I've ever preached an entire sermon on it but I want to
talk about how to deal with your unsaved family members how to deal
with your unsaved family members and this sermon could also apply to close
unsaved friends maybe you had some friends that you were very close to
before you got saved or it could also apply to say family members who are
worldly and they're not really on board with the things of God and you
know the I think that the reason that maybe I haven't preached an entire
sermon on this is you know sometimes when you don't deal with things maybe
they're not on your mind as much and I am what you would call a second or
maybe even a third generation Christian depending on what part of the family
you're looking at but something I love about our movement is that we are
reaching brand new people with the gospel of Christ we're not just
recycling a bunch of you know IFB's like the IP movement they just you
know switch members around you know we are actually reaching new people and
this is something that is important for what I would call a first
generation Christian my wife is a first generation Christian and what I
mean by that is she was not raised in a Christian home she was the first
one in her family to get saved and just just out of curiosity let me let me
ask this you know raise your hand if you would if you are a first generation
Christian meaning you are the first one you were not raised in a Christian
home there you go that just kind of shows you know why this sermon is kind
of needed and all these kids should be raising their hands right well all
these kids are if we're asking for second generation Christians all these
kids would raise their hand I would raise my hand who's the second
generation or third generation Christian all right so so we see there's a good
good mixture here most churches you would find that there's probably not
that many new believers and I'm not saying you're new believers but
believers that were reached by that church but that's why this is so
important to kind of talk about these things and understand these things and
you know I want to give you tonight I just want to give you five
statements to kind of help you have some principles from scripture in regards
to dealing with your unsafe family members well let me ask this even those
of you that are second or third generation Christians you know how many
of you raise your hand if you've been accused of being in a cult man you
know I think that that's pretty common you know right or you've been accused
of just being radical you've got family that just thinks you're a little
overboard or a little insane all of those things would apply to this
sermon so I want to give you just just five statements in regards to how to
deal with unsafe family worldly family family that doesn't really see
eye to eye and I want you to realize you know the first thing we can take
just from the passage we read it's it's true when the Bible says about
Christ it says for we have not in high priests which cannot be touched with
the feelings of our infirmities you know if you are in that boat where
you've got family that attacks you or you've got family that doesn't get
you or you got family that isn't with you you know Jesus was in that boat
also he had brethren that didn't believe on him initially and he had
brethren and we're gonna see that here in a second but I want you to
notice if you notice all those hands that went up you know you're not alone
you're sometimes we when we have trials we're going through we may feel
like we're the only ones dealing with it but just realize you're not the
only one that's been you know being accused of being in a cult right all
those hands went up you're not the only one that maybe has in-laws or
grandparents who are attacking you because you're homeschooling your
children the Bible says there are no temptation taken you but such as is
common to man but God is faithful when I'll suffer you to be tempted
above that ye are able but will with the temptation also make a way to
escape that ye may be able to bear it and that word temptation you know we
often think of the word temptation as like being enticed to sin and the word
temptation definitely means that but it can also mean like a trial or a test we
know Abraham was tempted of God so you know you may be going through that
dealing with family having those problems but realize that Christ also
dealt with it and not only that other believers are dealing with it
there's people in your own church that are dealing with it so let me
give you five statements just five principles to kind of help you with
this thing number one if you've got a pen if you happen to have a pen
with you you maybe you can write these down I understand if you got a baby on
your lap but number one I'd like you to know this realize that reaching your
own family may be difficult reaching your own family may be difficult just by
the fact that it's your own family you know especially if you want to give
the gospel to your own parents just something about the fact that they
change your diaper you know what I mean something about the fact that they
raised you and and they they've known you since since day one it may be
difficult for them to want to hear you because if you're there in Matthew 13 we
of course read verses 55 and 56 where it talks about the family of Christ but
notice the response that Christ gives in verse number 57 he says the
Bible says this and they were offended in him but Jesus said unto them
notice what Jesus said a prophet is not without honor now he's saying a
prophet does have honor does get honor he says a prophet is not without
honor save he's saying except for in his own country and in his own house and
he did not many mighty works there because of their unbelief now realize
if Christ who's God in the flesh if Christ who can perform miracles if
Christ who's teaching these great teachings if Christ who these people he
grew up around should be able to attest to the fact we never saw him
lie we never saw him disobey his parents there was something different about
this guy if Christ can show up in his own hometown and have people just be
hard and not want to hear his message and and and not want to give
him honor then realize then it's gonna be the same way for you and
Jesus taught that it is often the case that close loved ones family members
friends it's easy for them to reject you because they feel like they know
you so just realize that reaching your own family may be difficult go to
you're there in Matthew 13 go to John chapter number 7 you're in Matthew so
just a few books over Mark Luke John John chapter 7 and look at verse number
1 John chapter 7 in verse 1 the Bible says this after these things Jesus
walked in Galilee for he would not walk in Jewry because the Jews sought to
kill him so he's he's traveling in the northern part of Israel not going
down to the southern part because the Pharisees want to kill him the Pharisees
are persecuting believers to now the Jews feast of the tabernacle was at
hand this took place in in Judah notice verse 3 his brethren that's
talking about his physical brothers James Joseph Judas those guys his
brethren therefore said unto him they'll part hands and go in and go
into Judea that thy disciples also may see the works that thou doest for
there is no man that doeth anything in secret and he himself notice that what
they say seek it to be known openly and you can kind of sense a little bit of
bitterness there yeah cuz there they've got you know famous brother
right their brothers preaching all these sermons thousands of people are
coming to hear and preach and they're kind of and they obviously they
realize there's a reason why he's not going down there and he does end
up going down there in secret you know but when he gets there he
preaches openly but they're kind of just poking fun at him and say why
don't you go down there aren't you wanting to get all this fame aren't you
wanting you know kind of the same thing people say to us you know why do you
have to put those sermons on YouTube why do you have to do those
interviews you know are you just seeking all this but look we're just
seeking to spread the gospel we're seeking to proclaim the Word of God
and they're kind of you you can sense the bitterness notice the end of verse
4 if thou do these things show thyself to the world but notice verse 5 for
neither did his brethren believe in him and we see here that initially the
the brothers of Christ his own physical brothers did not believe in him so just
realize that reaching you know if you get frustrated say why can't I get my
brother saved why can't I get my mom saved or why can't I get my dad saved
or why can't I get you know my cousins or whoever don't let that
frustrate you too much just realize that reaching your own family may be
difficult even the brothers of Christ did not initially believe on him so the
first thing we see is that it's reaching your own family may be
difficult here's the second statement I'd like you to understand not only do
you need to realize that your own family may be difficult to reach but
you need to determine to reach your family even though it's difficult you
need to realize that it is possible to reach your family it may just take
more than look you can walk up to a perfect stranger knock on their door
introduce yourself give them the gospel in 20 minutes and get them
saved here's why because they don't know you because they don't know
anything about you because they don't know you know all the stupid things
you did as a teenager and all the you know they don't know all that it may
be different giving the gospel to your parents or your grandparents or your
aunt or your uncle or your own siblings but you need to determine to reach
your family even though it may be difficult now if you're there go back to
Matthew 13 just real quickly and look at verse number 55 Matthew 13 and verse
55 we're given the names of the brothers of Christ notice what it says
it's not this the carpenter's son it's not his mother called Mary and
his brother I want you to notice these names his brethren James and
Joseph and Simon and Judas I want you to notice that two of the names there
are James and Judas now you can keep your place there in Matthew but go
through the book of Galatians Galatians chapter number one Galatians
chapter one you got Matthew Mark Luke John Acts Romans 1st 2nd Corinthians
Galatians Galatians chapter number one and look at verse number 18 in Galatians
chapter number one you've got the Apostle Paul and he's kind of giving a
testimony of his own salvation and the things that he did shortly after his
salvation and in Galatians chapter 1 and verse number 18 I want you to
notice what he says the Bible says this then after three years I went up
to Jerusalem to see Peter that's Paul telling us what he did and a boat
with him 15 days notice verse 19 but others of the Apostles saw I none save
notice what he says James the Lord's brother so I want you to notice that in
John we saw that his brothers did not believe on him but by the time the
Apostle Paul has been saved for several years he goes to Jerusalem and
he tells us that he met with James the Lord's brother so you know we can
kind of get from that that his brother is though they did not initially
believe on him they eventually believed on him and I mean I would imagine if
you watch your brother die and then you you know and then you see him three
days later I'd imagine you and at some point just realize okay you know it's
true that I never saw him lie it's true that I never saw him give mom
attitude it's true that I never saw him do anything wrong but I watched him
die and now he's back you know so eventually they believe but here's what
I want you to understand it was his brothers were bitter were mocking his
ministry not believing on him but here we see that eventually James the
Lord's brother was saved in the Apostle Paul's meeting with him go to the
book of Jude last if you go to the end of the Bible the book of Revelation
right before Revelation you got the book of Jude Jude look at verse number one
there's only one chapter Jude 1 remember the names of his brothers
there was James and Judas well we're told in Galatians 1 that Paul met
with James the Lord's brother and Jude 1 1 the Bible says this Jude the
servant of Jesus Christ and the brother of James so whoever wrote the
book of Jude had a brother named James Galatians tells us that there's a man
named James who's the Lord's brother so I think we could probably take from
that that look his brothers got saved and even in the book of Acts in
the upper room the brothers are mentioned Mary is mentioned and his
brethren are mentioned being there and here's what I want you to understand
Jesus's own brothers did not believe on him but eventually they did so you
know what in my life and in your life we need to determine that we need
to realize that it's gonna be difficult to reach our family but don't let that
you know stop you don't let that be a hindrance just stay at it and you
can see your own family get saved as well and we see that the brothers of
Jesus were saved go to the book of John John chapter number one if you're
there in Matthew you got Matthew Mark Luke John John chapter one and here's
what I want you to understand all right and what I'm gonna say may sound a
little contradictory but just just let me explain your family may be the
hardest to reach because of the fact that they're your family but your
family may also be the easiest to reach just because of the fact that
they're family you just need to realize not all family members are the
same some may not want to hear it from you because they're related to you
others may only want to hear it from you because they're related to you so
you say well what do we do we just preach the gospel to all of them and
also realize this that some may not want to hear from you today but they
may want to hear it from you next year because circumstances change
things happen in people's lives and if you live right and you've got a
good testimony before them they'll know who to go to when they need
those answers they'll know who to reach out to and here's what I want you
to understand most salvations and church growth a church can explode and
growth and you guys are exploding and growth so you don't need any advice but
a church can explode and growth if people learn how to reach their own
family if people learn how to give the gospel to their own family you're
there in John chapter 1 look at verse number 40 notice what the Bible says
John chapter 1 in verse 40 the Bible says this one of the two which heard
John that's John the Baptist which heard John speak and followed him was
Andrew notice what it says Andrew Simon Peters brother he first findeth
his own brother Simon and saith unto him we have found the Messiah's which is
being interpreted the Christ notice verse 42 and he Andrew brought him
Peter to Jesus and when Jesus beheld him he said thou art Simon the son of
Jonas thou shalt be called Cephas which is by interpretation of stone the
days following Jesus would go forth into Galilee and find his Philip and
save them to him follow me notice verse 44 now Philip was of the
city of the city of Andrew and Peter Philip findeth Nathaniel so you've got
Andrew finding his own brother then you've got Jesus reaching Philip then
you've got Philip finding Nathaniel you see how the growth could be
exponential if everybody gets involved if everybody does their part
Philip finds a Nathaniel and say them to him we have found him of whom
Moses and the law and the prophets did write Jesus of Nazareth the son of
Joseph and if you think about just think about the twelve apostles you know
the Bible says this now the names of the twelve apostles are these Simon
who's called Peter and Andrew his brother James the son of Zebedee and
John his brother and then it goes on to say Philip and Bartholomew you know
and it gives us the rest of the names there but here's what I want you
to understand of the twelve apostles four were two pairs of brothers so that
shows you the power that we can tap into when it comes to reaching our own
family when it comes to getting our own family members safe but here's what
you need to understand and you know like I said at the beginning sermon I
grew up in a Christian home so I did not have to figure out how to get
my brother saved and my sister saved and my parents say you know my my
grandfather was a pastor so on my mom's side I would be considered like a
third generation Christian my dad was reached by missionaries in Venezuela so
on his side I'd be like a second generation Christian the point is this
this is not something I've had to deal with a lot but in my family we
have had to deal with this on my wife's side and you know with my
wife's family she was the only one that was saved you know at 17 years
old she'd grown up a Catholic and and then her family was you know
Catholic or nothing and she in her life you know we have seen her mother
saved her sister saved her older brother saved her younger brother saved
her childhood friend saved her brother's childhood friend saved and
you know here's here's what you need to understand she did not get them all
saved you know within three months of her own salvation now she tried she
tried to give all the gospel but guess what they were just like you're in a
cold why are you not wearing pants anymore why are you going you're
knocking on doors now you're going to church how many times a week you know
they all thought she was weird they all thought that she's gonna drink
kool-aid you know they they thought she was gonna go to Guyana or
something and they did not want to listen you know they did not want to get
so it didn't happen within the first three months but you know what she
gave him the gospel she gave him the gospel a couple times several times
and then she just waited and she just and here's what she waited for the
right opportunity because you will find that people will come to you when they
are to the point of receptive that's why the Bible says in 1st Peter 3 15
but sanctify the Lord God in your heart and be ready always to give an
answer to every man that asketh you a reason or the hope that is in you
with meekness and fear and you know the biggest mistake that I see with
believers you know I've been pastoring the church for six and a half seven
years now and the biggest mistake that I see is that new believers they
want to try to cram the gospel down their entire families to them you know
and if it doesn't happen when they're the first two weeks they're just upset
and look you should do it and as long as they're receptive as long as
they're friendly as long as they want to hear you should preach the
gospel to them I'm not telling you not to do it but here's what you want
to avoid you want to avoid this idea where just every time you see your
family you know every time there's a birthday party every time there's a
wedding every time there's any event where you see your family where you're
just gonna sit them down and preach the gospel to them look after you've given
the gospel to them clearly one time two times three times you want to just try
to back off and just wait for the right time and just wait and be ready
always to give an answer to every man that asketh the reason of the hope
just be ready to preach the gospel to them and I believe that you will see
many people say in your own family eventually if you're consistent if
you're not getting backslidden if you're just staying with it and just talk to
people and don't just cram it down their throat so here's so you say what
can we learn from from the life of Christ and the family of Christ well
number one realize that reaching your own family is difficult you know prophet
is not without honor save in his own country and with his own kindred is
what the Bible says in the book of Mark Jesus said with his own kin but
also determined to reach your family even though it may be difficult but
here's the third statement I want you to get and go go with me to the book of
you know just real quickly go to the book of Mark Mark chapter number six I
just want to show you this verse where Jesus said his own can March
chapter six March after six in verse four the Bible says but Jesus said
unto them a prophet is not without honor and this verse he says but and
Matthew 13 he said save but in Mark 6 he says but but he's still saying
except for in his own country but I want you to notice what Mark 6 says and
among his own kin and I believe that Jesus said that you know referring to
his own family the fact that his own family had had not believed on him
at this point and his own house now you're there in Mark go to the book of
Luke Luke chapter number 14 so you need to realize that reaching your own
family is difficult and you need to determine you need to resolve to be
patient and try to get as many people in your family saved and right with God
but here's the third point and here's where I think a lot of people don't
understand this and here's what I've noticed the people who cannot grasp
this thought that I'm about to make will fail in the Christian life if
they've got a family that's trying to hinder them here's point number
three you need to be ready to separate from your family if they are hostile or
a hindrance to spiritual things you need to be ready to separate from your
family if they are hostile and a hindrance to spiritual thing now look
before I even go go further go to go to Luke 14 obviously the best thing
would be for you to have a great relationship with your physical family
and with a spiritual family that's the best and if your family is not
hostile because here's what I found too sometimes it's the new believers that
are hostile sometimes it's the new converts that are a hindrance you know
if your family's not hostile towards the things of God if they're not
hindering you they think you're weird they think you're odd but they
still love you they want to spend time with you hey don't burn that
bridge all right you know what if Jesus would have done that then maybe
his own brothers wouldn't have got saved but here's what you need to understand if
they're trying to hinder you if you've got grandma and grandpa taking
your children off to the side and trying to tell them hey everything your
parents are teaching you is wrong you need to be ready to cut them off you
need to be ready to separate from that family you need to be ready to
separate from your own physical family only if I want to make that real
clear only if they are hostile and a hindrance or things of God now let me
make another and give you another disclaimer I'm not talking about your
immediate family some of you are like sweet I'm gonna go divorce my wife this
week my wife is hostile look that's your wife all right and I'm not saying to
separate from your children that are ten years old living in your house
and I'm not and also not saying to separate from your parents if you're
living in their house and you're the child all right I'm talking about you
know extended family in-laws aunts uncles parents sing about things of
that nature Luke chapter 14 look at verse number 25 Luke chapter 14 in verse
25 notice what the Bible says Luke 14 and verse 25 and there went a great
multitude with him and he turned and said unto them notice what Jesus said
if any man come to me if any man come to me and hate not his father
and mother and wife and children and brethren and sisters now when you read
that you think like Jesus you know you want to say hey mom dad sister I
mean but I like the next statement because he kind of puts it into
context he says yay and his own life also so I just let you know that it's
not that you're supposed to have this personal hatred towards your dad or
towards your mom because you're not gonna hate yourself right in fact the
Bible says that that we love ourselves we take good sex but here's what he's
trying to say don't allow anyone even yourself to come between you and God and
notice what he says he says if any man come to me and hate not his father
and mother and wife and children and brothers and sister yay and his own life
also he cannot be my disciple notice Matthew chapter number 10 you're
there in Luke just go back to Matthew chapter number 10 look at verse
number 34 Matthew chapter number 10 and verse number 34 Matthew 10 34 the
Bible says this think not that I am come to send peace on earth I came not to
send peace but a sword for I am come to set notice what he says I am come to
set a man at variance against his father and the daughter against her
mother and the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law and a man's foes
shall be they of his own household he that loveth father or mother more
than me is not worthy of me and he that loveth son or daughter more than me
is not worthy of me he that taketh not his cross and follows after me is not
worthy of me look at verse 21 same chapter you just go up in the chapter
verse number 21 notice what he says the brother this is talking about end
times persecution but he says the brother shall deliver up the brother to
death and the father the child and the children shall rise up against their
parents and cause them to be put to death and here's what you need to
realize is that Jesus is teaching here that we have to be ready to separate
and we have to be ready to walk away from and we need to be ready and
listen to me sometimes you know we I see believers do this they're just
banging their heads against the wall where they're just trying you know
you're just trying to get your family and again if they're not hostile I'm
not talking about that but they're just against you they're just fighting
you at every moment you know every time it's the opposite every time you
see them they're bringing up the fact that you got to put those kids in
public school and what are you doing to them and why are you having in that
religion and and I watch believers they're trying to like explain it to
their parents they're trying to explain to their grandparents they're
trying to explain to them the Bible and what the Bible says they're
trying to explain to them why they dress the way they do they're trying to
explain to them why they go soul money they're trying to explain why
they educate the children and here's what you need to understand if your
family's not safe they're not going to get it
The Bible says, but the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God,
for they are foolishness unto them, neither can they know them, because they are spiritually
deserved. They're not going to understand it. Now, if they're not hostile, if they're not
hindering you, keep the relationship. But if they're just trying to stop you, you've got
to be ready to cut that thing off. You've got to be ready to separate. You've got to
be ready to say, hey, we're following Jesus, we're following the Word of God, and we're
going to go with the way that God does it. So you've got to be ready to separate from
your family if they are hostile and if they are a hindrance. And you know, here's what
you need to understand. The Bible says, wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate,
saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing, and I will receive you. And that
applies to family. He says, be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers. And you
need to understand that if those unbelievers are related to you, hey, you can't just be yoked up
with them if they're trying to stop you, if they're trying to hinder you, if they're trying to,
you know, if you used to be, have a lifestyle, you know, where you were just listening to
Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre, right? And every time you show up, they're just blasting Snoop Dogg,
trying to get you to come back. Hey, you may need to cut off that relationship. I'm just,
I don't know that about brother Chris. I'm just, but you know what I'm saying?
Maybe you used to drink, and they're just constantly trying to get you to drink.
You know, they're just always scheduling the church events on Sunday night,
right? You know, or Sunday morning, trying to get you to not go to church. You need to be
ready to just cut off that relationship, and you need to be ready to separate from your family
if they are a hindrance. But there's another thing, go to Matthew chapter 12,
Matthew chapter 12. So the Bible says, so what we need to learn from the Bible is you
need to realize that reaching your own family may be difficult,
but you need to determine to reach your own family, even though it may be difficult,
and just be patient with it, and don't be hostile towards them, and don't just try to
cram it down their throat. Give them the gospel as many times as they are receptive,
but if they don't want to hear it, you know, be respectful of that. And by the way,
that's just good soul winning advice. You know, when you're out soul winning, if someone says,
I don't want to hear it, and you're just still preaching to them,
look for someone that's receptive, look for someone that wants to hear it, and even with your
own family. But here's the thing, there may come a time when they come to you, and they're ready,
and they're not going to say, hey, I'm ready to get saved, but they might start coming to you
and start asking you questions about church. Look, when family has been hostile about the
things of God before, all of a sudden wants to know how your church is doing, they probably
want you to give them the gospel. They're probably ready, they're probably looking, they're
searching, they're realizing that there's something that they need. So determine to reach your
family, though it may be difficult, but if your family's hostile, if they're hindering you,
you have to be ready to separate from your family. But number four, here's a fourth statement.
Replace your physical family with a spiritual family. You need to replace your physical family
with a spiritual family, especially if you're practicing separation. And like I said,
the best thing would be to have both. The best thing is to keep a relationship with your physical
family and to have a church family, but you have to be ready to separate from them,
and you need to have a spiritual family, but you need to, especially if you're separating,
and look, separating doesn't necessarily mean that you just never talk to them.
It just may mean that you have to regulate some of the influence that they have on you or on
your wife or on your children. You need to be ready to replace your physical family with a
spiritual family. Matthew chapter 12, notice what Jesus said in verse number 46. Now again,
this is before his brothers were saved, and we're not sure if Mary was saved. I mean,
I'm sure she was, but we don't know at this point, but notice Mary's not with the right
crowd. Matthew 12, verse 46, notice what the Bible says. While he yet talked to the people, behold,
his mother and his brethren stood without. Now, stood without means that they weren't part of
the group that he's preaching to. So here's the question I've got. Why aren't you guys in
church? Why aren't you at the preaching service? They stood without, designed to speak with them.
Then one said unto him, behold, thy mother and thy brethren stand without, designed to speak
with thee. But he answered and said unto him that told him, now notice the attitude that Jesus
had towards brothers. I'm sure he loved them, but they were unbelievers. They were hostile in some
ways. They're mocking his ministry. They're saying, why don't you go down there and get yourself
killed? You know, notice what he says, who is my mother and who are my brethren? Notice verse 49,
and he stretched forth his hands toward his disciples and said, behold, my mother and my
brethren, for whosoever shall do the will of my father, which is in heaven, the same is my brother
and my sister and my mother. You know what Jesus was saying? Jesus was saying, my family
is going to be those who are going in the same direction that I'm going, which is the things
of God. And at this point, he's saying, look, they're without for a reason. He's saying,
this is my family. And by the way, that's why the book of Proverbs, go to Ephesians,
Ephesians chapter two, while you go there, I'll read for you from Proverbs 18.
Proverbs 18 says this, a man that has friends must show himself friendly. And there is a friend
that's sick of closer than a brother. And you know, you will find that you can develop
relationships where you will have a spiritual friend that may even be closer than your own
physical family. And you know, that's, that's the great thing about the Christian life. I
mean, the great thing about Christianity is that we were born into a new family.
We were born into a spiritual family. Those of you that are those first generation Christians,
you might've had a dysfunctional family. You might've had an upbringing where dad wasn't all
he was supposed to be. And mom wasn't all that she should have been. And you know,
it was a bad environment and all that, but look, when you got saved, not only did you
get salvation, not only did you get eternal life, not only did you get redemption,
not only did you get forgiveness, you got a new family. So you say, well, my, my, my dad was
a drunk and my dad didn't take care of us. And my dad didn't love us. And my dad wasn't
there for us. But you know what? You got a new heavenly father. You've got a new family
now that you can get connected to Ephesians two and verse 19. The Bible says this now,
therefore you are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the
saints and of the household of God. Notice chapter three and verse 14,
Ephesians chapter three and verse number 14. The Bible says this, for this cause,
I bow my knee unto the father and our Lord Jesus Christ of whom, notice what he says,
the whole family in heaven and earth is named. See when you got saved, you got born into
a family of God. And isn't it an amazing thing? My dad, when I was growing up,
my dad used to always say this to us as kids about being a Christian is amazing because we,
you know, we moved, I was born in Venezuela and we moved from Venezuela when I was four
years old to the United States of America. And when we moved here, we got connected into
a local church and we immediately, you know, my family became friends with other believers
in that church. And my dad would always say this, isn't it amazing that you can move
to another continent where you don't know these people at all, but you've got Christ in common
and you're just a family. I mean, some of you, you know, you, you go visit the Sacramento
or you go to Texas or you go wherever and you meet believers that you've never met before.
But it's like instantly, it's just a brother. It's a sister. It's a family, you know? And
look, maybe, maybe your family cut you off. Maybe they're the ones that say they don't
want anything to do with you. Maybe they're practicing separation from you. Hey, just realize
you have a spiritual family. And by the way, that's why church is so important. That's why
you can't replace church with just watching videos online. I'm all for videos online. I'm
all for MP3 videos or audio and I'm all for the YouTube videos. I think all of that's
great. I think, you know, people are, but look, you know what you can't get from
the preaching online is a friend. You know what you can't get from the preaching
online is relationships. You know what you can't get from the preaching online? When
you miss the live stream, there's no one calling saying, Hey brother, I've noticed
you missed a live stream the last three weeks. Nobody calls you and says that, but when you
miss church three weeks in a row, you might have someone say, Hey brother, how you doing?
I miss you. We love you. We're praying for you. You know, there's something about a
spiritual family that's important. Look, you can get the preaching online. I get that.
Now I think the preaching is better live anyway, but you know, you can get it online,
but you know what you can't get online is a spiritual family. It's relationships and
friendships. It's a brother that sticketh closer. It's a friend that sticketh closer
than a brother. You were born into a new family, into a family of God. Go to the book
of Genesis, Genesis chapter number 33. So here's what we said so far. Number one,
realize that reaching your own family may be difficult. Reaching your own family may be
difficult. A prophet is not without honor, but in his own country and among his own kin,
right? But you ought to determine to reach your family, even though it may be difficult.
You should make it a goal of trying to get as many of your family members saved,
but don't fall into this trap. And I've watched it happen to people in our church
where it's like, you know, I'm missing church because we're having this family
event and I'm just trying to give the gospel to my... Look, if they're going to hinder you,
if they're hostile, pray for them, let somebody else give them the gospel of Jesus,
you can't let them stop you. You can't let them be a hindrance to you and be ready,
you've got to be ready to separate from your family if they are a hindrance. But let me say
this, and here's the fifth statement. You need to be tactful when practicing separation from
your family. You need to do the best you can to be tactful and graceful when it comes to
practicing separation from your family. Are you there in Genesis 33? Look at verse number 12.
Genesis 33 and verse 12. And we're jumping into the story where Jacob and Esau have been
reunited. Jacob has been gone for years and he's now reunited with his brother. But here's
the thing about Esau, is that he's living a worldly lifestyle. You know, he's a fornicator,
he's not living for God. And in Genesis 33 and verse 12, the Bible says this,
and he, that's Esau, said, let us, he's talking to Jacob, take our journey and let us go,
and I will go before thee. And he, that's Jacob, said unto him, that's Esau,
notice what he says. My Lord knoweth that the children are tender, and the flocks and herds
with young are with me, and if men should overdrive them one day, all the flock will die.
Let my Lord, I pray thee, pass over before his servant. Here's what he's saying. You go on
ahead. Let my Lord, I pray thee, pass over before his servant, and I will lead on softly,
according as the cattle that goeth before me and the children is able to endure, until I come unto
my Lord unto seer. Now notice what he said. He says, you go on ahead and I will come to you
to seer, but I want you to notice what he does. Look at verse 15. And Esau said, let me
now leave with thee some of the folk that are with me. And he said, what needeth it? Let me
find grace in the sight of my Lord. So Esau returned that day on his way unto seer. So Esau
is trying to get him to go to seer. Jacob says, hey, you go on ahead until I come unto my Lord
unto seer. But then notice verse 17. And Jacob journeyed to suck off. Is that seer? No.
And built him a house and made boots for his cattle. Therefore, the name of the place is called
suck off. And Jacob came to Shalom, the city of Shechem, which is in the land of Canaan,
when he came from peranoram and pitched his tent before the city. Now you say, well,
is Jacob lying to Esau? He may have been. I don't think he was. I think Jacob did eventually
go to see Esau for a visit in seer because later on in Genesis 35, we see Jacob and Esau
both together bearing their father. So, but here's what I, here's what I think Jacob was doing
because Jacob, wherever he went, he was moving. He was going to set up his house there.
And I think just Jacob did not want to live with Esau. I mean, the Bible says can two walk
together except they be agreed. And Jacob, I think he just realized we're not on the same
page here. I don't want to go and live next to Esau. So he tells him, you go on ahead.
I'll see you later. He goes to suck off, sets up his house, sets up where he's gonna live. I
do believe he eventually went and saw because it seems like they're at least, you know, on,
on good terms at the funeral of their father Isaac in Genesis 35. But here's what I want you
to understand. When Esau says, hey, let us go and take our journey. Let us take our journey
and let us go. I want you to notice, you know, look at verse 14 again. You know, here's what you
don't see Jacob doing. Let my Lord, I pray thee pass over, pass over before his servant.
Here's what you don't see Jacob doing. He's not saying Esau, listen, you're a fornicator
and you're wicked and you're a drunkard and I don't want to be around you and I don't want
to live next to you. He just says to him, go on ahead. And look, you may disagree with
what I'm about to say, but some of you, the reason that people hate you at work
and the reason that you're just not going to get your co-worker saved is because when you're,
you're unsaved co-worker who doesn't know anything about the Bible, doesn't know anything
about you says, hey, the guys are going to go get some beers tonight. You sit there and rip
them apart and say, you know, just preach them the Bible and tell them, look, he's not saved.
He doesn't understand. I don't think there's anything wrong with saying, no, you know what,
you go on ahead. I'm going to go home. You don't have to sit there and explain all these things.
You just got to get him saved. He's not going to get it. You don't have to explain to
everybody why, you know, why can't go there because your wife dresses like a whore because
you're, you know, look, you don't have to explain all these things to them. And they're
not, I'm talking about, they're not saved. I'm not just a coworker, just a neighbor,
just someone you barely even know, but you're going to, you know, you want to act like you're
preaching on YouTube or something. You want to rip everybody up with all your Bible knowledge,
which is great. But look, we do need to realize that when we're talking to unbelievers,
what they need is salvation. And sometimes we need to just use a little bit of tact.
The Bible says, let your speech be all way with grace, seasoned with salt that you may know
how you ought to answer every man. And we need to just be careful and be a little discerning
and realize that maybe your family's just not going to understand some things.
And sometimes you just have to say, you know, we're not going to be part of that.
Or, you know, we can't make it or thanks for the invitation. We've got church. I'm not saying
to lie to them, you know, thanks for inviting us, but you know, we go to church on Sunday nights,
but you have to sit there and just rip them apart and tell them how wicked they are.
Because look, all you're going to do is just burn that bridge. We should try to be tactful
as much as possible. Go to Luke chapter four and verse 22.
Luke chapter four and verse 22. I want you to notice how Jesus himself
who had unbelieving family and family that wouldn't even, they weren't, they were without,
they didn't even come to you and preach. They didn't come in. They said, Hey, we got to
talk to Jesus. Tell him to come talk to us. We're not going in. I want you to notice what
the Bible says about our savior. Luke chapter four and verse 22 and all bear him witness
and wondered. Notice what it says about Jesus at the gracious words which proceeded
out of his mouth. And they said, is this not Joseph's son? And again, this is unbeliever
speaking. Obviously it's not Joseph's son, but they marveled. They wonder at the gracious
words which proceeded out of his mouth. And by the way, again, all of this implies
a soul winning. When you're knocking those doors, you know, you don't have to necessarily
go down every rabbit trail about everything that's wrong with somebody's religion or whatever.
Preach them the gospel. You know, I do think we need to deal with certain things. Obviously,
if they don't believe in Jesus being God, you got to deal with that. You know, obviously if
they don't believe in certain things, you got to deal with those things. But I just think
sometimes we want to, we want to preach and it makes us feel spiritual and we want to make
people look stupid or make them feel, you know, like they're just these wicked sinners.
Just try to have some grace and try to be a little tactful, especially when dealing with
your own family. Try to be like Jesus and have words that are gracious words which proceeded
out of his mouth. The Bible says this, if it be possible as much as life in you,
live peaceably with all men. Now look, we realize, we realize that there's some people
who you're just not going to live peaceably with. It doesn't matter what you say. It doesn't
matter how kindly or tactful. It doesn't matter what you do. They're just going to attack you.
They're just going to be mad at you. They're just going to be angry. We get that.
You know, be ready to cut those people off. Be ready to separate. But just make sure
that the reason that your family won't hear the gospel is not because you're just a
jerk when you're giving it. And it's not because you're just rude when you're giving it.
And it's not because you're trying to like hold all these heavy doctrines that they just,
they're just the natural man that understands it, not the spirit of God, the things of God.
They don't understand the things of God. You know, try to be tactful as much as possible.
If it be possible as much as life in you, live peaceably with all men. So what do we see?
Realize that reaching your own family may be difficult. Determine to reach your family,
though it's difficult. Be ready to separate only if they're a hostile and a hindrance.
Make sure you're not the one that's hostile and hindrance. Replace your physical family
with a spiritual family if separating, but everyone should have a spiritual family if
they're connected to. And lastly, as much as possible, be tactful when practicing separation
from your family. Now look, I'm not speaking to you tonight in theory. These are things that
we've had to deal with. We have had, my wife and I have had family members go on the local news in
our city, you know, and attack us. All right. And there comes a time where you're not being
graceful. We get that. There comes a time where you're just cut those people off and,
you know, they're not, they're, they're, they're your enemy at this point because they're
making themselves your enemy. We get that, but just, we need to try to be tactful and you
need to try to just have discernment. Look, in our lives, I'm talking about my family.
There's people, I'm talking about people that are very close as far as, you know,
families concerned that we've just had to cut off, that we've just said no. I mean, and there's,
there's people in our family that we've cut off until they're no longer hostile or
till they get safe. There's some people in our family that we just cut off, you know,
as far as we're concerned, they've been, God rejected them, so we reject them too.
And we have no reason to ever see them or talk to them again. So I'm not up here just speaking to you
in theory. I'm telling you that in your Christian life, sometimes you've got to make these
decisions and you got to be ready to do that. And there's people that worship their families
to the point where they're not willing to serve God to the point of, look, if you've got
a family member that's a sodomite, you need to cut that person off, right? You've got to
reprobate, you know, well, my uncle turned out to be a pedophile and this and that. Look,
God rejected them. What are you going to do for them? If God gave up on them, what are you trying
to do being around them? You need to cut them off. You need to protect your family. We get
those things. We understand those things. But here's, here's what I want you to understand.
There's no like real clear answer for any of this. All of this, your situation is going to
be different than ours. Every situation is going to be different. So you need to really think
hard about when it's time to cut someone off. You need to think hard about when it's time to
no longer give the gospel to somebody. You know, you've given it to them two or three times
and it seems like they're getting a little irritated. You've got to use some discernment.
And I would just encourage you to really spend time in prayer about these things.
Don't just make flippant decisions. And here's the thing, don't just cut a family member off
flippantly either. Really think about it. Ask God for wisdom. Ask God to help you. You know,
the Bible says this, if any of you lack wisdom, let him ask God that giveth to all men liberally
and upbraideth not. And just ask God to give you wisdom and discernment. How do I deal with
this family member? What should I do? And here's what I believe. I believe that God will guide
you and God will help you. And God will make it clear through the preaching of his word,
through the reading of his word, how you should deal with family. But here's what's interesting.
Didn't, didn't we see that Jesus taught a lot on this subject? He dealt a lot with
the subjects. He taught a lot of the subjects. So you should not just take this position like,
oh, well, whatever. You know, there's, there's a reason that you are part of that family.
And you may be the reason that everyone in your family gets saved. You may be the, you may be,
you may be that one that changes the family tree. You know, before you got saved,
it was just a worldly family. It was a Catholic family. It was a non-religious family.
It was an atheist family. Whatever it is, you may be that one that gets to turn it around.
You may be that Andrew that reaches Simon Peter to Christ. You, you may be that one. So don't
just take a neutral position. Realize that it's difficult, but do everything you can to
reach your family. But be ready. Be ready to cut them off when they become hostile,
if they become hostile. Let's bow our heads and have a word of praise.