["Pomp and Circumstance"]
Good evening and welcome to Verity Baptist Church.
Let's go ahead and find our seats this evening.
Find a seat and find a hymnal close to you
and turn to page number 211.
That's song number 211.
["Whosoever Meaneth Me"]
Whosoever Meaneth Me is song number 211.
Let's go ahead and sing it out on the first.
I am happy today and the sun shines bright
As clouds have been rolled away
For the sake of some Whosoever will
Make a weapon to stay
Whosoever surely Meaneth Me
Surely Meaneth Me
Oh, surely Meaneth Me
Some whosoever surely Meaneth Me
Whosoever Meaneth Me
Song number 211.
Let's go ahead and sing it out on the second.
All my hopes have been raised
All His name we praise
His glory has filled my soul
I've been lifted up from sins and free
His blood have made me whole
Whosoever surely Meaneth Me
Surely Meaneth Me
Oh, surely Meaneth Me
Whosoever surely Meaneth Me
Whosoever Meaneth Me
Sing it out on the last
Oh, what wonderful love
Oh, what praise He brought
That dreams that should die for me
I was lost in sin for the world of
But now I am set free
Whosoever surely Meaneth Me
Surely Meaneth Me
Oh, surely Meaneth Me
Whosoever surely Meaneth Me
Whosoever Meaneth Me
Amen. Great singing. Welcome to the Sunday service here at Verity Baptist Church.
Glad to see everyone here this evening.
Let's go ahead and bow our heads for a word of prayer.
Dear Heavenly Father, Lord, thank you again for the opportunity to come to your house this evening, Lord.
Thank you for the people that are here, Lord.
Pray that you bless the service, bless the singing and the preaching to come, Lord.
Pray that everything will be said and done tonight.
We'll bring glory and honor to you, Lord. We love you.
In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.
All right, it's now time for favorites where if you're selected, we will sing one stanza from the song that you picked.
Go ahead, Jordan.
Four, six, seven.
Four hundred and sixty-seven.
The B-I-B-L-E.
Remember at the end of it we have to shout Bible, all right?
Regardless of what age you are, let's sing it out.
The B-I-B-L-E.
All right, let's do it again.
Are we going that fast?
All right, let's do it a little bit slower. All right, let's sing it out.
The B-I-B-L-E.
That's what's the book for me.
I stand alone in the word of God.
The B-I-B-L-E.
Bible, amen. All right, who's next?
Go ahead, Daniel.
Song number forty-six, amen.
I love that song.
My Savior, first of all, it's song number forty-six.
Amen, let's sing it out on the first.
When my life work is ended and I cross the spelling tie
When the bride and boy is born, I shall see
I shall know that I will take her when I push the other side
And His love will be the first to welcome me
I shall know, and I shall know
And He came by His side, I shall stand
I shall know, and I shall hold Him
By the midst of the fields in His hands
Um, justice, go ahead.
Three twenty-eight.
Amen.
I want that mountain, I believe that is. Three hundred and twenty-eight.
Yeah.
Song number three-two-eight, let's sing it out on the first.
I saw the giant rail that's next upon a mountain high
We laughed so hard and high and bended knee
No more love remained the willingness I'll stand so I cry
I want that mountain, it belongs to me
I want that mountain, I want that mountain
Where the milk and honey knees blow and the grapes all cast away
I want that mountain, I want that mountain
The mountain that my Lord has given me
Uh, Brother Keith.
Four-oh-two.
Song number four-hundred-and-two, I don't know this song.
Another one?
Who knows this song?
Alright, we don't know this song.
Four-oh-one.
There you go, I like this song.
Thank you.
Song number four-hundred-and-one.
Sing it out on the first.
Set my soul afire
For thy holy word
Burn it deep within me
Let your voice be heard
Heaven's Roman darkness
I will be your witness
Fill me with thy power
Set my soul afire
Move my life away
That's why they say we cry
Living in this Roman darkness
Waiting for thy word
Set my soul afire
Oh, go ahead Miss Eva.
Two-oh-three. Let's see.
Nope, I don't know this song.
Two-oh-two. My Redeemer. Alright.
Song number two-hundred-and-two.
Sing it out on the first.
I will sing of my Redeemer
Of His wondrous love to me
Of the world I'll sing
Of the world I'll set me free
Sing, I'll sing of my Redeemer
And with His love
He pushes me
And Lord at last
He sealed my garden
He gave my time
And made me free
Alright Moses.
Song number thirty-one.
He lives.
Song number three-one.
This will be the last song this evening
So let's sing it out on the first.
A strengthless and Savior
Is in the world today
I know that He is living
Whatever men may say
I see His hand of mercy
I hear His voice of cheer
In just a time I know that
He's always near
He lives.
My Jesus, this is the day
He walks with me
He talks with me
And long lets Him convey
He lives.
I wish to be mine
You ask me how I know
He lives
He lives within my heart
Amen. Praise the Lord.
Amen. Alright well let's take our bulletins
We'll look at some announcements this evening
If you do not have a bulletin raise your hand
And one of our ushers can get one for you
If you need a bulletin tonight just put your hand up
And we'll get one for you
The verse this week Hebrews 11 6
But without faith it is impossible to please Him
For He that cometh to God must believe that He is
And that He is the rewarder of them that diligently seek Him
And that's a good verse there
We like that if you open up your bulletin you'll see our service time
Sunday morning service 10 30 AM
We had a wonderful service this morning
We're glad you're back out tonight for the evening service at 6 PM
And we do invite you to be back for the Wednesday evening Bible study at 7 PM
If you look at our soul winning times
Our main soul winning times on Saturday mornings at 10 AM
Then we have additional soul winning times on Thursdays Fridays and Sundays
At 2 PM we'd love of course for you to join us for that
And we are a family integrated church
Children and infant are always welcome in the service
But if you have a child that's been distracting during the service
So if you need some privacy we'd encourage you to use those rooms as needed
If you need to be baptized please let us know
We'd love to baptize you
The baptistry is filled, the water is warm
And we're ready to do that
If you look at the announcements and upcoming events
Of course we have our Journey with Jesus on Sunday mornings
And Happily Ever After Sunday night
And then this Friday we have a wedding for Brother Serge and Miss Ajana
On Friday May 27th at 5 PM
It is a potluck so if you can please bring a dish to share
And if you're able to come please sign up on your communication card
And then we have our graduation service coming up on Sunday evening June 5th at 6 PM
So if you're part of our homeschool group
And you'd like to participate to receive your diploma
If you've graduated kindergarten or high school
Sign up on your communication card
And let us know so that we can have you be part of that ceremony
And if you are not part of our homeschool group
But you're part of our church family
And you've graduated maybe from a different school
Or different, you're not connected to our homeschool group
But you've graduated kindergarten, 6th grade, 8th grade, high school or college
Then we would like to recognize you as well
So give us your information so we can do that
And of course we have pizza and fellowship after the service
So that won't be the next Sunday night but the Sunday night after that
Then we have a discipleship class also starting up on June 5th at 5 PM
It's an 8 week class covering biblical truths
It's for new believers or if you've never gone through a structured discipleship program
We'd love for you to be a part of that
And you can sign up on your communications card
Children's Choir, they started practicing today for Father's Day
Orchestra practice began today for Red Hot
And homeschool group, they've got PE class on Thursday June 1st
Other things there for you to look at
Please don't forget to turn your cellphones off or place them on silent during the service
So they're not a distraction to anybody
If you look at the back of the bulletin, birthdays and anniversaries
For the month of May we have David Pure's birthday on May 23rd
My daughter Elizabeth Jimenez has a birthday on May 24th
Jiho Pumba has a birthday on May 26th
Stephanie Zuniga has a birthday on May 27th
And Brother George McQueen has a birthday on May 28th
Praise report, money matters, all those things are there for you to look at
And I think that's it for all of the announcements
So let's go ahead and take our songbooks
We're going to go to page number 281
Page number 281
And we'll sing Pass Me Not O Gentle Savior
As we prepare to receive the offering tonight
281, sing it out on the first
Pass me not, O gentle Savior
Hear my humble cry
While on others now are calling
Do not pass me by
Savior, Savior
Hear my humble cry
While on others now are calling
Do not pass me by
Page number 281, sing it out on the second
Let me have you, Lord, a mercy
Sleep, believe
Kneeling there any competition
Help my unbelief
Savior, Savior
Hear my humble cry
While on others now are calling
Do not pass me by
Trust me only in thy merit
Would I seek thy face
Heal my wounded promise
Hear it
By thy grace
Savior, Savior
Hear my humble cry
While on others now are calling
Do not pass me by
Sing it out on the last
World all swingable, life on earth
More than life to me
Whom on earth beside me
Whom in heaven be
Savior, Savior
Hear my humble cry
While on others now are calling
Do not pass me by
Amen, good singing, we'll have the guys come up
and help us with the offering at this time
And let's go ahead and bow our heads and have a word of prayer
Heavenly Father, Lord, we do thank you for allowing us to gather together today
Lord, we pray that you'd bless the offering
We pray that you'd meet with us as we open up your word
In Jesus' name we pray, amen
Amen, good singing, we'll have the guys come up and help us with the offering at this time
And let's go ahead and bow our heads and have a word of prayer
Heavenly Father, Lord, we do thank you for allowing us to gather together today
And let's go ahead and bow our heads and have a word of prayer
In Jesus' name we pray, amen, good singing, we'll have the guys come up and help us with the offering at this time
Amen, good singing, we'll have the guys come up and help us with the offering at this time
Amen, good singing, we'll help us with the offering at this time
Amen, good singing, we'll have the guys come up and help us with the offering at this time
Proverbs 23, if you need a rock, keep your hand up and a shoulder come by
Proverbs chapter number 23, we'll read the entire chapter as our custom
Proverbs 23 beginning in verse number 1
When thou sitest to eat with the ruler, consider diligently what is before thee
and put a knife to thy throat if thou be a man given to appetite
be not desirous of his dainties, for they are deceitful meat
labor not to be rich, cease from thine own wisdom
wilt thou set thine eyes upon that which is not?
for riches certainly make themselves wings, they fly away as an eagle toward heaven
eat thou not the bread of him that hath an evil eye, neither desire thou his dainty meats
for as he thinketh in his heart, so is he
eat and drink saith he to thee, but his heart is not with thee
the morsel which thou hast eaten shalt thou vomit up and lose thy sweet words
speak not in the ears of a fool, for you'll despise the wisdom of thy words
remove not the old landmark, and enter not into the fields of the fatherless
for they are deemers mighty, he shall plead their cause with thee
apply thine heart unto instruction and thine ears to the words of knowledge
withhold not correction from the child, for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die
thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell
my son, if thine heart be wise, my heart shall rejoice, even mine
yea, my reign shall rejoice when thy lips speak right things
let not thine heart envy sinners, but be thou in the fear of the Lord all the day long
for surely there is an end, and thine expectations shall not be cut off
hear thou, my son, and be wise, and guide thine heart in the way
be not among winebibbers, among riotous eaters of flesh
for the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty, and drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags
hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old
buy the truth and sell it not, also wisdom and instruction and understanding
the father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice, and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him
thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bear thee shall rejoice
my son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways
for a whore is a deep ditch, and a strange woman is a narrow pit
she also lieth in weight as for a prey, and increases the transgressors among men
who hath woe? who hath sorrow? who hath contentions? who hath babbling?
who hath wounds without cause? who hath redness of eyes?
nay that tarry long at the wine, nay that go to seek mixed wine
look not thou upon the wine when it is red, when it giveth its color in the cup, when it moveth itself aright
at the last it biteth like a serpent, and stingeth like an adder
thine eyes shall behold strange women, and thine heart shall utter perverse things
yea, thou shalt be as he that lieth down in the midst of the sea, or as he that lieth upon the top of a mast
they have stricken me, shalt thou say, and I was not sick, they have beaten me, and I felt it not
when shall I wake, I will seek it yet again
let's pray
Heavenly Father thank you for this evening, God I thank you for your word Lord and for our church
and for everyone that's here, I see you please meet with us tonight God
and I see that you please be the pastor to strengthen him and fill him with spirit
we love you and in Jesus' name we pray, amen
amen
alright we're there in Proverbs chapter number 23
and of course tonight we are continuing our series called Happily Ever After
and we've been going through really a systematic study of the Christian home
we spent several weeks on, a couple of weeks on singles and a couple of weeks, several weeks on marriage
and we spent a couple of weeks on finances and Mother's Day we transitioned to child rearing
if you remember last week we learned about why you should have children
and what the Bible teaches about that and this week I'm going to continue on in this idea
obviously if you're married as a result of your marriage we pray that the Lord will bless you with children
you will have children
in this sermon I want to talk about raising children and specifically parenting children
and I want to speak to you on the subject of what every parent must do
and of course the things we're going to talk about tonight are not new
they're things that if you've been part of our church you've heard that and it's good for you to hear it again
I always am reminded of the Apostle Paul when he said in Philippians 3.1
Finally my brethren rejoice in the Lord to write the same thing to you
to me indeed is not grievous but for you it is safe
and you know for me to preach the same things over and over doesn't hurt me
but it's safe because one thing I've learned in ministry
and one thing that I've had to just really kind of learn the hard way
and it's been disappointing to me is that people can come to church like this
and hear the preaching that we give from the pulpit and hear the things that we teach
and just go home and live like the world and not really apply these things in their lives
so it's good for you to be reminded and to hear it again
and maybe you're here and you say you don't have children and this doesn't apply to you
well every time the Word of God is opened it's good for you
so it's always good to hear the Word of God
Let me quickly give you three thoughts tonight in regards to what every parent must do
and these are just kind of a basic very just baseline sermon on the subject of parenting
and these are really just kind of the big three
I mean there's lots of things that we have to do as parents
but these three are the must
you've got to do these three if you're taking notes tonight
and I would encourage you to take notes maybe you can write these down
Number one, I want you to notice there in Proverbs 23 and verse number 13
the Bible says this
The first thing that parents must do
and number one if you're taking notes is this
parents must discipline their children
parents have to discipline their children
and the biblical method of discipline is seen there in Proverbs 23 and 13
and we're going to look at a lot of verses
you'll see that this is consistent throughout the Bible
The Bible says
hold not correction from the child
for if thou beatest him with the rod he shall not die
and I realize that today people get all frantic when they hear these types of words
beatest him with the rod
but let me remind you that this is the Word of God
this is what the Bible says
and obviously when the Bible talks about beating a child
it's not the same idea that we get today
when you think about a child being abused or beat
that's not what the Bible is talking about
the idea is this that the biblical method of discipline
is what we would refer to as corporal punishment
it is physical punishment
or something we would call a spanking
a corporal punishment is physical punishment such as a spanking
so we as parents and we're going to raise our children biblically and correctly
we must discipline our children
and when it comes to this idea of corporal punishment
or disciplining or spanking
there's a few things that you need to understand
first is this, disciplining or spanking your children is an act of love
the Bible says that when we love our children
we actually, to spank them is an act of love
and to not discipline them, to not spank them
is to actually hate them
you're there in Proverbs 23
flip back to Proverbs 13 and look at verse 24
Proverbs 13, 24
and this is why it's important
because over the years I've heard parents say this
when we talk about this subject of disciplining children
and parents will incorrectly say
oh I just love my kids too much to spank them
I just love my kids too much to hit them
to spank them
and obviously when the Bible uses the word beat
or when we use the word hit
we're referring to an appropriate spanking
but people say I love them too much I can't do it
but here's the thing
the Bible says the exact opposite of that
in Proverbs 13, 24 the Bible says this
he that spareth his rod, hateth his son
the Bible says when you fail to spank your children
you fail to discipline your children
you actually hate your children
notice, but he that loveth him, chasteneth him, beat time
so the Bible says look, discipline is an act of love
and disciplining your children is an act of love
and you may ask well why is that or how could that be
and here's why
because when you discipline your children
when you take the time to teach your children
and to help them understand
that there are consequences for their actions
that there are things that they cannot do
or pain is going to come upon them
you're actually saving them from a world of hurt
you're saving them because here's the thing
you might think like
oh I love my kids too much to take a rod
and beat them with it
but let me tell you who's going to have no problem
beating your kid down with a rod
it's the cop
you know who's going to have no issue
beating your kids down with a rod
it's the drug dealer
it's the gangster
it's the thug
so it's actually an act of love
for you to teach your children
no son, no daughter
you shouldn't do that
you need to obey
you need to do right
because disciplining or spanking your children
is an act of love
he that spareth his rod, hateth his son
but he that loveth him, chasteneth him
be times
that word chasten means to restrain
or to moderate a bad behavior
the Bible teaches that the purpose
of spanking your child is to chasten
it's to restrain
it's to moderate their bad behavior
so disciplining or spanking your children
is an act of love
but secondly I want you to notice here in this verse
not only is it an act of love
but disciplining or spanking your children
needs to start early in life
it needs to start early
notice there again in verse 24
he that spareth his rod, hateth his son
but he that loveth him, chasteneth him
notice this word
be times
that word be times means early in time
or early in life
and disciplining or spanking your children
is something that needs to start early
in life
go to Proverbs chapter 19 if you would
Proverbs chapter 19 look at verse 18
and I realize you
if you came to Mary Baptist Church you've heard this
but look
this is something that our society is completely against today
our society says
don't spank your children
don't do corporal punishment
you need to use time outs
or you need to use all these other things
but let me tell you something
that's the reason that the kids in our society are a mess
I mean the truth of the matter is
that we lived in a much better society
and this country was a much better country
when kids got beat by their parents
when parents chastened their children
spanked their children
disciplined their children
whatever you want to call it
it was a much better product
that was being put out by the parents
and look
it's an act of love
but you've got to start early
Proverbs 19 and verse 18
the Bible says
chasten thy son while there is hope
and let not thy soul spare for his crime
the truth is this
your children can get too old
to where there is no hope of changing them
it's gone
and here's what happens
when you get the people that say
I'm not going to spank my children
I love them too much to spank them
and then that 3 year old
that they're not disciplining
becomes a 13 year old
that is undisciplined
and a 23 year old
and a 33 year old
that is undisciplined
and then they're trying to change them
they're trying to bring them to church
and they're trying to discipline
but look it's too late
you've got to chasten your son
while there is hope
the Bible says
you've got to start early
you've got to start beat times
now obviously
and let me just give all the disclaimers
disciplining should be done
in a way that is age appropriate
obviously the way you discipline
a 13 year old
is going to be much different
or a 10 year old
or a 9 year old
is going to be much different
than how you discipline a 3 year old
or a 5 year old
you've got to of course
have some common sense
when it comes to that
for example
a 1 year old
and you say a 1 year old
yeah you've got to start early
chasten them beat times
you know a 1 year old
a 1 and a half year old
a 2 year old
you know you might start
disciplining a 1 year old
you say what does that look like
it might look like a soft pat on the hand
you know it'll look like a soft pat on the thigh
look by the time you realize
that they know
that what the word no means
and they know
that they're disobeying
when you say no
you know they're a little 1 year old
a little 1 and a half year old
and they're doing something
and you say no
and you know they stop
as soon as you look away
they start back up
and they're like
you know you look back and they're like
look by the time you realize
hey this kid's smarter than he looks
he knows that he's disobeying
then you've got to start disciplining
but obviously
you're going to take your belt out
and spank a 1 year old
but a little pat on the hand
a little pat on the thigh
you know as they get older
the spankings are going to become
a little more serious
you've got to have
age appropriate spankings
how you discipline a 1 year old
is going to be radically different
than a 5 year old or a 9 year old
but you've got to start early
and really
when you're spanking a little 1 and a half year old
and you're patting them on the thigh
it doesn't even hurt them
it's more just a principle for them
you know they start crying
but it's like you don't even hurt them
they're just offended
that you would say no
but listen you've got to start saying no
and you've got to start setting boundaries
and you've got to start early
while there is hope
let not thy souls fare
for his crimes
so disciplining is an act of love
and disciplining needs to start
early in life
but let me say this thirdly
you're there in Proverbs 19
look at verse 18
notice the Bible says
chasin thy son while there is hope
notice these words
and let not thy soul
spare for his crime
disciplining or spanking your children
should cause pain
but not injury
and I always want to emphasize this
because there's these two extremes
that people tend to take
one extreme is where parents are just
beating their children down
to the point where it's like no
you're crossing lines here
that are inappropriate
obviously look
you should not be injuring your children
when you spank them
but also then there's this other extreme
that is like you pat them
you know through jeans
and a pull up
and they're like tickled
when you spank them
and they're laughing and giggling
and it's like that doesn't work either
look the point of a spanking
is that it causes pain
it's supposed to hurt them
let not thy soul spare for his crime
but you're not supposed to injure them
you need to make sure when you're
disciplining your children
and spanking your children
that it is appropriate
we often teach young parents
and all parents
that you should be careful
how you discipline your children
and look we teach here
you should never hit your children
with a closed fist
you should never hit them on the face
you know an appropriate spanking
I've taught through the years
is done on the bottom
or on the thighs
for maybe a smaller child
and I always say the same thing
and this is what I was taught
you know God put an area
on the body of a child
on their bottom
and there's a little extra cushion there
and there's a lot of nerve endings
and it's a good place to administer
a good solid spanking
so when you spank your children
it should hurt
it should hurt them
that's the point
but it should not injure them
so look if you're causing
a bunch of bruising
if they're limping
those are not good signs
alright
one thing that my wife
taught me and told me about
is you know
to try it on yourself first
you know
spank yourself first
you know before you go
and do something to your kid
do it on yourself
look if you start crying
then you have to like consider
okay is this too much
you know
but disciplining your children
it should cause pain
because the whole point
is that you want to deter them
from doing something wrong
and this is very important
and I hope you understand this
the purpose of spanking
is to break their will
to break their desire
to want to disobey
and to want to do wrong
to want to sin
but it's not to break their spirit
see sometimes you meet these kids
and they've got like this broken spirit
where they're just like
they don't look anybody in the eye
they never talk
they're just
and you know you wonder like
is this kid being abused
obviously you know
if you're disciplining your kids
and it's bringing that effect out
like you are doing something
very very wrong
we don't want to break their spirit
but we do want to break their will
to do wrong
we do want to make it in their minds
where it's not worth it
it's not worth it to disobey mom
it's not worth it to disobey dad
it's not worth it to do
that action that I was told not to do
so we should discipline them
and it should cause pain
but not injury
so it's an act of love
and it needs to start early
it should cause pain
but not injury
but let me say this
discipline your children
is like I said
a needed deterrent
your kids need to be disciplined
they need to be spanked by you
let's just run a few verses here
in Proverbs
look at Proverbs 22
Proverbs chapter 22
and look at verse 15
Proverbs 22 and verse 15
you know let me just
let me just tell you some things about your kids
okay number one
your children are sinners
my children are sinners
they're all sinners
and they are naturally bad
Proverbs 22 15
foolishness is bound in the heart of a child
no kids are born good
they're all born sinners
no kids are born just well behaved
and well mannered
and and respectful
foolishness is bound in the heart of a child
but the rod of correction
shall drive it far from him
go to Proverbs 23 look at verse 14
not only are children sinners
and they're naturally bad
but children are sinners
and they will naturally go down the wrong path
do you realize that all children
will naturally go down the wrong path
Proverbs 23 14
thou shall beat him with the rod
notice
and shall deliver his soul from hell
children are sinners
and they need to be trained
go to Proverbs 29
look at verse 17
Proverbs 29 verse 17
the Bible says
correct thy son
Proverbs 29 17
correct thy son
and he shall give thee rest
not stress
he'll give you rest
yea he shall give delight unto thy soul
keep your place there in Proverbs
we're going to come back to it
most of the stuff we're going to look at tonight is in Proverbs
but go with me if you would to the book of Ephesians
the New Testament book of Ephesians
Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Acts, Romans
1st, 2nd Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians
Ephesians chapter 6
you're there in Proverbs
keep your place in Proverbs
go to Ephesians chapter 6
do me a favor and put a ribbon or a bookmark
or something there in Ephesians chapter 6
Ephesians chapter number 6
so when it comes to disciplining your children
you need to realize that it's an act of love
it needs to start early in life
it should cause pain but not injury
it's a needed deterrent
your children need it
and lastly when it comes to discipline
let me say this
disciplining your children needs to be done in the right spirit
Ephesians 6 and verse 4 says this
and you fathers provoke not your children to wrath
but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord
you need to make sure that when you discipline your children
that you yourself are in the right spirit
we should not discipline our children out of anger
we should not discipline our children and just be out of control
when you discipline your children
you should be completely in control
completely calm and cool
and it shouldn't be this reaction
where your kids just upset you so much
and you're just so angry
no, it should be a purposeful act
where you're teaching your kids a lesson
hey, we had a rule
you were told a certain thing
you disobeyed that son
you disobeyed that daughter
so now you need to learn that there are consequences
and there is a very specific action that is performed
it needs to be done in the right spirit
and be careful about not just being this parent
that the only time you discipline your kids
is when they piss you off enough
and you get angry enough
and you're just out of control
that is not proper discipline
it's an act of love
it's something you do on purpose
it's something you do to deter them
from going the wrong way
you don't want to provoke your children to wrath
now do me a favor
put a ribbon or something there in Ephesians chapter 6
because we're going to come back to it
go back to Proverbs if you would
actually I'm sorry
go to Colossians real quickly
keep your finger right there in Ephesians
we're going to come back to it
but go to Colossians just real quick
let me show you this other verse
Colossians chapter 3
you're there in Ephesians
Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians
Colossians chapter 3
Colossians 3.21
here's another verse
fathers provoke not your children to anger
lest they be discouraged
so we need to make sure that we are disciplining our children
but we need to make sure that we are disciplining them
in the right spirit
in the right attitude
in the right way
now go back to Proverbs 22
and let me just say this
here's the thing about discipline
here's the thing about spanking your children
it works
I mean everything
it's like we talked about this morning
everything the Bible says works
it works if you do it
I'm here to tell you something
I promise you
if you spank your children
in the appropriate way
in a way that is appropriate and loving
to teach them respect
and love for authority
your kids will be good
and look
please understand this
because over the years
I've had so many people say this to me
and you know
they'll look at my kids
and look
my kids are sinners
just like anybody else's kids
they are foolishness
and bound in the heart of the child
just like anybody else's kids
my kids included
you know
I do not have this idea
that my kids are perfect
or whatever
they are sinners
just like you
and just like your kids
but I will say this
my kids are very well behaved
I mean everywhere I go
I take my kids with me places
and people are constantly giving us compliments
about like
I can't believe
because we have six kids
I mean in a couple of weeks
my wife and I are taking our kids with us
I'm taking my whole family to New Jersey
to New York
and we're gonna go to Washington DC
and I'm gonna take the whole family out there
and you know
sometimes you say that to somebody
aren't you worried
too worried to be traveling with all those kids
well I'm not worried
because I'm traveling with my kids
if I was traveling with your kids
I'd be worried
but I'm not traveling with your kids
I'm traveling with my kids
and here's what people say
people say like
well your kids would just be you know
well mannered
and they're just
they're not like my kids
listen to me
well behaved children
are well behaved
because they're disciplined
children that are not well behaved
are not well behaved
for one reason
it's not their temperament
it's not that they're more this or more that
it's not that there's this gene that makes them good
they're not well behaved for one reason
they're not getting disciplined
or they're not getting disciplined enough
or they're not getting disciplined consistently
something is failing
and look
please don't take this the wrong way
but I'm gonna tell you something
if my kids grew up in your home
they'd be as big as brats as your kids
and if your kids grew up in my home
they'd be good
I don't think you should say that
I'm just telling you something
spanking works
and if your kids aren't good
it's because you're not doing your job
if your kids aren't well behaved
it's because you're not doing it right
if your kids are just out of control
and an embarrassment
it's because you aren't spanking them
don't make excuses
oh no it's just
they're sinners
they're all sinners
every single one of them
I'm just here to tell you something
I promise you
I promise you it works
I mean I believe in it
my wife and I believe in it
we practice it
we spank our children
sometimes our kids are being bad and out of control
and it's like we finally spank them
and they're just like
literally it's just like
like you beat the devil out of them or something
it's just like instantly
and they're loving
and they want to be around you
and I'm just thinking to myself
like why did I even wait so
I should have just spanked them like 20 minutes ago
I'm here to tell you something
it works
if you do it
do you know what I found?
is that most parents
most Christian parents
most independent
Funeral Baptist parents
and probably even most parents in this church
aren't spanking their children
they're yelling at their children
they're throwing stuff at their children
they're cussing at their children
but they're not biblically
getting up
in a controlled manner
saying
now listen honey
now listen son
you were told not to do that
go to your room
you're going to be disciplined now
take a few minutes to cool down
walk in and say
what did you
what were you told?
I was told not to
x, y, and z
what did you do?
I did x, y, and z
what is the punishment?
I'm going to get a spanking
and then you take them
and in a calm
in a cool way
you put them over your lap
and you administer a spanking
and it hurts
and there's pain
and they cry
and then you hug them
and then you pray
that is not happening in the average home
and then you're like
I don't know why my kids are so bad
your kids might just be good
because they're
you've got some special gene
no
they're good because
they have a mom and dad
that works at it
discipline works
look just mark it down
when you see children
that are out of control
they are not being disciplined
period end of story
there's nothing else
to do with it
are you going to be like
the centurion this morning
and just believe the word of God?
say the Bible
look the Bible is true
every time
the Bible is true every time
everything the Bible says is true
and if you do this with your kids
it will be true
so spank your children
if not for yourself
for the rest of us
that have to put up with them
I said number one
parents must discipline
their children
number two
parents must disciple their children
it's not enough
to just discipline your children
in fact
if all you ever do
is discipline your children
and that's all you ever do
they may be well behaved
but they still may grow up
and rebel against you
because that's not the only thing
that you're required to do
as a Christian parent
yes you must discipline your children
but there's something else
that's equally as important
and it's to disciple your children
we as parents
must train our children
Proverbs 22
look at verse 6
go back to Proverbs
if you're not there
Proverbs 22 verse 6
train up a child
in the way he should go
and when he is old
he will not depart from it
the Bible says that our job
is to train our children
the word train
is defined as
to teach through instruction
over a period of time
look it's not enough
to clothe your children
it's not enough
to feed your children
it's not enough
to house your children
those are just the things
you just have to do that
just to not get
you know CPS to take them away
I mean that's just what
you're legally required to do
clothe them
feed them
house them
till they're 18 years old
that's what the world
requires of you as a parent
but let me tell you something
that is no different
than serving
an 18 year sentence
at a prison
I mean if you're just
if your thought of parenting is
I need to clothe them
feed them
three square meals a day
for the sentence of 18 years
and maybe they'll get out
at 17 with good behavior
then you're no better
than a prison
your job is to discipline
and disciple
train up a child
in the way he should go
we are to train them
you say what areas
should we train them in
and listen
what I'm telling you tonight
here's the reason why
most parents don't do it
because it's a lot of work
you need to train your children
spiritually obviously
you need to make sure
your children get saved
and that they get baptized
obviously at the appropriate ages
and that they begin
to develop a relationship
with God
and begin to walk with God
you need to train them
spiritually as to why
we do what we do
and why we believe
what we believe
but listen look
that's hard enough right there
I mean just doing that
if you would train your children
spiritually that's like
more than the average parent
but that's not enough
not only do you need to
train your children
spiritually
you also need to train
your children emotionally
there are many grown adults
who are just emotionally
out of control
I mean they are just
out of control
they're either
just really angry
or really this
or really that
but you know where that comes from
it comes from the fact that
as children they were never taught
to control their emotions
you need to teach your children
to control their emotions
to be in control of their emotions
you need to train them spiritually
you need to train them emotionally
hey here's one
you need to train them socially
you need to treat your kids
how to act
in social environments
and how to not be weird
and how to not be awkward
and how to not say things
that are rude
and how to be kind
and respectful
you need to teach your kids
to be normal
you say or what
or they'll grow up to be an adult
that's not normal
and then they show up to church
like this and then I got to
teach them to be normal
train them spiritually
train them emotionally
train them socially
obviously you need to train them
educationally
you need to make sure they're
actually being taught
and educated
and obviously we believe
in homeschooling
and I'll preach a whole sermon
on that at another time
hey you need to train
your kids physically
train your kids physically
to work hard
to do the things
that they're supposed to do
there's all these areas
that we're supposed to train
our kids in
you got to take the time
mom you got to take the time
dad you got to take the time
you got to take the time
to train them up
now why is it that parents
don't train their kids
here's why
because training
is a lot of work
it requires a lot of work
go to Deuteronomy
keep your place there in Proverbs
go to Deuteronomy chapter 6
Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus
Numbers, Deuteronomy
Deuteronomy chapter 6
in Deuteronomy 6 and 7
we usually use this verse
to talk about homeschooling
and I'm definitely
going to use this verse
when I preach on homeschooling
but I want to just
highlight something for you
in this verse
or in this passage of scripture
Deuteronomy chapter 6 and verse 6
notice what the Bible says
and these words
which I command thee this day
shall be in thine heart
and thou shalt teach them diligently
unto thy children
you see that word diligently
that means it requires work
it requires time
hey look when you start having children
and during the season of life
when you have children
you may have to stop
doing certain things
just so you can focus
on raising your kids
because that's the most important thing
that God has given you to do
thou shalt teach them diligently
unto thy children
and shall talk of them
I want you to just notice
this word that's emphasized
shall talk of them
notice this word
when
thou shalt talk of them
when
thou sittest in thine house
when are you going to talk
to your children about the word of God
when you're just sitting
around at home
you should be talking
to your children
about the word of God
when thou sittest in thy house
but that's not it
notice
when thou sittest in thy house
and
when
thou walkest by the way
and
when
thou liest down
and
when
thou rises up
you know what it sounds like
it sounds like teaching
and training your children
requires a lot of time
it requires a lot of when
it's a full-time job
this is why the Bible says
in Proverbs 29
go back to Proverbs if you would
Proverbs 29 and verse 15
Proverbs 29 15
the Bible says
and reprove give wisdom
but a child left to himself
bringeth his mother to shame
look do you want to be embarrassed by your children
I don't know about you but I don't
I don't want
I don't
I don't want to and I'm not
embarrassed by my children
it's always sad to me
when parents are embarrassed by their children
you know you can tell when you meet a parent
and they're just like
don't talk to my kids
just go away kid go away
don't talk you know
because there's like
because their kids are just a brat
you know the Bible says
that you don't have to be embarrassed
you don't have to be ashamed
you don't have to always be trying
to get your kids away
don't talk don't look at anybody
the rod and reprove give wisdom
but a child left to himself
bringeth his mother to shame
and listen
just spending time with your kids
will help them
it'll help them to just be around you
to have you teach them
and train them
and look
I'm all for structured training programs
and I'm all for that
and I don't have a problem with that
and I've even created stuff
that we use with our kids
at our house
but I'm here to tell you something
that's not even necessarily it
it's good to have structured times
but I'm just talking about
throughout the day
just in life
it's good to be living life with your kids
and to just be
telling your kids
hey that's not
don't say that
that's not nice
that's not kind
don't stop doing that
that's not good
you know just teaching them
and talking to them
about the word of God
training requires time
let me say this
training requires talking
and I'll say this
this is probably where most dads fail
because unfortunately
the average man
doesn't have the mental capacity
to string together a few words
in a coherent fashion
but some of you dads
are just gonna have to learn
to start communicating
first of all
I'm not preaching on marriage
but it'll help your marriage
if you start talking to your wife
but if you
if you can't do that
or you're not motivated to do that
at least start talking to your kids
start training your kids
you gotta talk to them
Proverbs chapter four
in verse one
notice what the Bible says
Proverbs four
in verse one
Proverbs chapter four
in verse one
notice what the
what the
what Solomon
writes here
he says
hear you children
notice what he says
hear you children
the instruction
of a father
and attend not
to know
and attend to no understanding
notice what he says
in verse two
I give you good doctrine
forsake ye not my law
he says
for I was my father's son
tender and only beloved
in the sight of my mother
notice what he says in verse four
he says
he taught me also
and said unto me
let thine heart retain my word
keep my commandments and live
you should open your mouth
and talk
you should open your mouth
and instruct your children
go to Proverbs chapter one
Proverbs chapter one
and look that
you should open your mouth
and speak to your children
and teach them
I
I just have memories of
some of the best memories I have
of my dad
I just have
I don't know why
but I just have these memories
of my dad
just teaching me
just just sitting down
and teaching
you know my brother
and I
I don't know why
I have this memory
but I remember
I just have this memory
of my dad
just opening John chapter one
and just teaching me
from John
as a little kid
I mean I don't know how old
I'm maybe eight or nine years old
I just have this memory
of my dad
opening John chapter one
and reading the first seven verses
of John chapter one
and just explaining to us
that Jesus was the word
I just have that memory
and I'm just thankful
that I have a memory
of my dad
I mean I have memories
of my dad
teaching us
you know
how to write a check
I have memories of my dad
sitting down
and teaching us
about credit
and how credit works
and work
and all sorts of different things
hey dad
talk to your kids
teach them
instruct them
but it's not just dads
moms too of course
Proverbs one
and verse eight
notice what the Bible says
my son
hear the instruction of thy father
and forsake not
the law of thy mother
Proverbs chapter six
and verse twenty
my son
keep thy father's commandments
and forsake not
the law of thy mother
and obviously
dads go off to work
and they're at work all day
so moms
a lot of this
is gonna fall on you
and it needs to fall on you
and it should fall on you
well you take the time
and I'm thankful
and for a wife
that takes the time everyday
to sit down with our children
before they start any
and we have a very structured
and disciplined
she has a
she runs a very tight ship
when it comes to
the home school day
and all those things
but I'm thankful
that everyday
they take the time
to sit down and read the Bible
and I hear her instruct our kids
you know
I'm up in my office
and I'm working
and I'm gone
doing the things
that I need to take care of
but I'm thankful
that I can hear my wife
teaching our children
instructing our children
teaching the Bible with them
and giving them lessons
and applications
and helping them
in their life
look
this requires work
it requires work
to train your kids
it's hard work
you need to
spend time with them
and you need to
talk to them
you need to
communicate with them
you need to
speak to them
about the future
and speak to them
just yesterday
I was driving down the road
with my sons
and we were talking about
you know
what it's gonna take
for them in the future
to be able
and you know
I'm 18 years old
to purchase a vehicle
and how they're gonna get there
and what they've gotta do
and how they've gotta save
and how they should
track their savings
and how they should
have a goal
and make it visual
so they can see
and then we talked about
what happens after
you save up for
a vehicle
you need to
save up to
purchase a home
you know
and we're just talking
about these things
why
because they're the things
that it's our job
to train and prepare them for
you say
a 14 year old
and a 12 year old
yeah
you must discipline
your children
you must disciple
your children
but thirdly
let me say this
you must delight
in your children
parents must delight
in their children
go to Proverbs 29
and here's the thing
if you don't discipline
your children
and you don't disciple
your children
you're probably not gonna
delight in them
and if you're like
I don't like to be around
my kids
and send them off away
so I don't have to see them
or hear them
if you don't like being
around your kids
it's probably because
you're failing in one
or both of these areas
you're not disciplining them
and you're not discipling them
because if you
discipline properly
and you disciple properly
you'll raise nice kids
that you actually
like to be around
that you actually
don't mind being around
that you don't mind
talking to
sometimes we just
around our kids
you're joking
and you know
it's funny
to my wife and I
because we're like
at some point
these kids got to the point
where they're actually funny
they're cracking jokes
and making jokes
and it's like
they've got wit
and it's just fun
to be around them
that's how parenting
is supposed to work
parents should delight
to be with their kids
not trying to get rid
of their kids
send them off to some
after school program
or some daycare
just anywhere
just get them away from me
you ought to enjoy
spending time
Proverbs 29
look at verse 17
Proverbs 29 verse 17
notice what the Bible says
correct thy son
and he shall give thee rest
yea he shall give delight
unto thy soul
look if you
if you discipline your children
and you disciple them
they'll give delight
unto your soul
you'll enjoy spending time with them
I think about Job
how Job's talked about
in the book of Job
and of course we know
that Job was a great
man of God
he was perfect and upright
and he was a great father
and Job
obviously he lost his children
as a result of
God testing him
and you know the story of Job
but one of the things
that he says
in the book of Job
that I really like
is when he's
he's thinking back to
before all the tragedy struck
and he talks about
he says
he says in the days
when my sons were about me
and he talks about
the days that his children
were about him
and that means
that they were around him
and Job is looking back
and remembering
when he spent time
with his children
and we as parents
need to spend time
with our children
go to Proverbs chapter 3
Proverbs chapter 3
let me give you
a couple of quotes
you've heard these before
but let me give them to you
one quote says this
when it comes to
your family time
quantity is more important
than quality
Amen
and when it comes to children
the word love is spelled
T-I-M-E
Proverbs chapter 3 and verse 12
the Bible says
for whom the Lord loveth
he corrected
even as a father
the son
in whom he
delighted
you should just
enjoy spending time
with your kids
now let me just say this
when it comes to spending time
with your kids
there is a difference
between spending time
with young children
and spending time
with older children
so let me just give you
some thoughts
in regards to that
first of all
when your children
are young
it's just important
to have them around you
as much as possible
and the good thing
about that
obviously
if you're a dad
and you go off to work
you know
you're working
and I work from home
but even at home
when I'm working
I'm spending those
8, 9, 10 hours
and I'm in office
away
and they're mainly
of course
with my wife
throughout the day
but it's important
to have your children
around
one of the parents
all the time
and it's important
to just
realize
because when they're young
they just want to be
around you
and it doesn't really
matter what you're doing
they just want to be
around you
I mean if you have
young children
you know that's true
it doesn't matter
if you're going
to the grocery store
it doesn't matter
if you're going
to the bank
it doesn't matter
where you're going
they want to go
they want to be there
so it's good
to spend time
and that changes
all of a sudden
they don't just want
to be with you
all the time
and that's normal
obviously it's part
of them growing up
but let me just say this
when your kids
get older
they tend to want
to spend less time
with you
and especially
when they're teens
mom and dad
if you've got
teenagers in your home
it's important
for you to just
train yourself
when your kid
wants to spend time
with you
you need to
immediately
drop everything
and give them
that time
you need to make
them the priority
you need to
just give them
the time
enjoy spending time
spend time
with your family
spend time
with your kids
spend evenings
together
spend evenings
with God
spend evenings
in the house
of God
have dinner
together
spend time
with the family
that is so important
for your family
to spend time
together
spend time
together
spend time
together
enjoy spending time
with your children
let me say this
be gentle with
your children
you need to be
gentle with
your children
go back to
Ephesians if you would
Ephesians chapter
chapter 6
and you know
this is very
easy to do
and I'll be honest
with you
I do this
and I've got
to work on this
but since you've
had your children
you know
since birth
and they've
been through
their whole lives
it's really easy
to
treat your
children
to not
treat your
children
with respect
sometimes
you know
we as parents
we talk to
our kids
and it's like
we would never
talk to anybody
like that
but because
there are kids
you know
we change
their diapers
and we've been
with them
you know
since ever
then we get
to belittle them
or to
even
make fun of them
or whatever
and look
obviously you need
to discipline
your children
but we need to
treat our children
with respect
they were made
in the image
of God
they were
lent to us
from the Lord
they're the
heritage of the
Lord
so we need to
love them
and have respect
for them
as well
Ephesians
chapter 6
and verse 4
it says
but bring them
up
in the nurture
and admonition
of the Lord
and I want you
to notice
these two words
nurture and
admonition
because these
are the two
balances
you've got to
have the proper
balance
the word
nurture
means to
care for
to encourage
the growth
and development
of
it comes from
the same idea
as to nourish
something
my wife's
job
as parents
your job
as a parent
is to
nurture our
children
to care for
them
to help
them grow
and develop
to nourish
them
to give them
the nutrients
they need
physically
spiritually
emotionally
all of it
we have to
nurture
so here's
what you need
to understand
nurture
has to do
and then we
have to balance
that with
this word
admonish
is what
you teach
them
the word
admonish
means to
warn
to reprimand
or to give
counsel
and this is
the balance
that God
gives us
and look
all throughout
the Bible
you'll find
that God
is a very
balanced God
he's always
giving us
and I never
say anything
negative to
my kids
and I never
correct them
and I never
do anything
that's gonna
hurt their
feelings
that you're
gonna fail
as a parent
but you also
can't be a
drill sergeant
and you're
never loving
and you never
care and all
you do is
tell them
everything
they're doing
wrong and
tell them
that they're
this and
they're
loving
way
and what
that means
is sometimes
it just means
to not do
it in a mean
way
sometimes you
just have to
speak clear
to your kids
and say look
here's what
you're gonna
do
period
end of story
this is the
decision that's
being made
we have to
warn
we have to
reprimand
we have to
counsel
and sometimes
we have to reprimand
and sometimes
we have to
say no
that's not
okay
that's not
gonna happen
let me say this
too in
regards to
raising your
children you've
got to have
this rule in
your house
and this rule
in your mind
and it's this
that you as a
parent you
need to win
you need to
win all
the time
with your
kids
when there
when it's like
they want
this and you
want
you have to
win every
time
you can't
lose your
kids
you can't
give in to
your kids
now i tell
parents this
because of the
fact that you
have to win
every time
you should
also choose
your battles
wisely
because i've
been there
at times
where you
know it's
like a
and then it's
like as soon
as i say
you know it's
like why did i
say that
because now
i'm gonna
have to make
sure that
they do
you know but
here's the
thing look
you gotta win
if it means
you gotta leave
in the middle
of the grocery
store leave
a cart full
of stuff
and go back
home and
spank them
if that's
what it takes
to win then
you need to
make sure that
they
that they
do what you
said or they
stop doing
what you said
and if that
means that
you've gotta
leave the
restaurant that
means you gotta
leave the
grocery store
if that means
you gotta do
whatever it is
you gotta do
you need to
make sure you
win every time
now let me
do this and
and and
obviously we've
been talking
about this
about specific
and practical
things in
regards to
doing these
things with
your kids
disciplining in
discipling them
and delighting
in them
because
sometimes you
you preach
these things
you're like
you got a
disciplined
disciple and
it's like
okay well
what does
that mean
so let me
just give
you some
very practical
things in
regards to
when you
wake up
when you
eat
when you
start school
when you
go to bed
when you
have lunch
when you
have dinner
when you
have
you should
try to keep
these things
as consistent
as possible
so that
when you
wake up
when you
eat
when you
start school
when you
go to bed
when you
are as
consistent as
possible and
you should
try to have
a routine
in your home
now obviously
like I just
talked about
there needs
to be a
balance
sometimes
you're not
going to
hit the
routines
exactly the
way you
want them
and that's
okay but
as long as
you're
living a
life of
structure
for the most
reason
you're
going to
get dressed
and what
you do
and what's
the next
thing
your kids
should be
able to know
what is
the next
thing to
do sometimes
my wife is
busy with
events around
here and
she has to
leave and do
some things
and I'm in
charge of the
kids or
whatever and
I come
downstairs and
it's some
awkward extreme
I remember
we knew a
family that
they couldn't
come to church
on Sunday nights
and Wednesday
nights because
their kids have
to be in bed by
7 p.m. and
it's like look
if you can't
come to church
because you're
so strict on
your routine
then you've
got a problem
and if you're
putting your
big old kids
to bed at
7 p.m. that's
a problem too
so have some
balance but
children thrive
off of structure
they want
structure they
want the
security and
knowing by the
way that's
why you ought
to be faithful
Sunday morning
Sunday night
Wednesday night
why because
your kids need
that structure
it's good for
them to just
have a routine
that they do
all the time
so have a
routine your
children need
it number two
don't assume
everything your
child says to
you is true
everything your
kid says to
you is gospel
it's just the
gospel truth
listen to me
kids often lie
they lie to
get their way
and they lie
to get away
with something
they're sinners
foolishness
is bowed in
the heart of
a child
as the sparks
fly upward
I mean
they're going
to try to
lie to get
away with
stuff they're
going to try
to lie to
get their way
and don't be
the parent who
just thinks
that everything
my kid says is
true I could
never lie
you are an
idiot if you
think that
your kids just
don't lie
and that
you know their
heart is just
as white as
snow their
heart is black
like every
other sinners
heart is black
now let me say
this generally
speaking you
should be siding
with adults
over your
children all
of the time
generally speaking
you should
if there's
like a
dispute between
an adult
and a child
you need to be
siding with
the adult
and with the
authority
all the time
generally speaking
now let me just
say this there
are some
exceptions
there are
exceptions
obviously you
know there are
predators out
there so
you know if
your kid is
telling you that
some weird
looking guy
is saying things
and you need to
take that seriously
so I'm not
talking about
that but
in general
if a grown
adult is telling
you like your
kid did X Y
and Z and
you're like whoa
they said they
didn't do it and
I believe them
that is bad
don't assume
everything your
child says is
true and
generally speaking
you should be
believing your
kids here are
the exceptions
predators and
crazies now
obviously there
I mean I've had
grown people
lie to me
lie about me
when I've
caught them in
lies and I'm
just like you're
a liar so I'm
not going to
believe you if
you tell you know
whatever you
tell me you
know you're
gonna take it
with a grain of
salt so
obviously there's
a balance this
but look
generally speaking
you need to be
teaching your
children that
you side with
adults you
side with
authority and
children don't
assume that
everything your
child says is
true number
three if your
child is having
problems with
everyone you
need to realize
that your kid is
the problem let
me say this if
you're having
problems with
everyone you're
the problem end
of story period
there is no
other answer
Genesis 16 12
says and he
will be a wild
man his hand
will be against
every man and
every man's hand
against him and
he shall dwell in
the presence of
all his brother you
know what the Bible
says when everyone's
hand is against you
is because your
hand is against
every man I
don't know how
else to break it to
you there is no
conspiracy against
you there is no
conspiracy against
your kid if you
send your kid off
to school and
they're just having
trouble with
everybody they're
having trouble with
if you're having
trouble with
everybody I can't
get along with
anybody at work
it's you there's
no conspiracy against
you if your if
everyone's hand is
against you is
because your hand
is against
everyone you know
the Bible says the
Bible says let a man
that have friends must
show himself friendly
so if your child is
having problems with
everyone you need to
start looking at your
kids say well what
are you doing wrong
what are you doing
number four don't
rebuke other
people's children
but you can't stop
other people's
children from doing
something that's
wrong or dangerous
and there's something
that I try to teach
here at a church like
look you should not
be walking up and
rebuking other
people's children
don't walk up and
rebuke my children
dead for sure
and I'm not gonna
walk up and
rebuke your children
you say what does
that mean I mean
I'm not gonna walk
up to your kid and
be like you stinking
brat what are you
doing you know I'm
not gonna rebuke
them but if your kid
is climbing on
something and they
could injure
themselves or sticking
you know a fork into
an outlet you know
hey yeah tell kids
like hey don't do that
stop that I mean I
stand at the main door
after every service and
I'm constantly telling
little kids like nope
nope nope nope go to
mama go to mama nope
nope nope you know
I'm not even just let
some kid walk out into
the traffic like
well you know they're
not my kid obviously
if they're doing
something dangerous if
they're doing something
bad if they're hitting
another kid I don't
know how many times I
walk I walk out there
or I walk over here
and there's just some
some group of boys just
in a full fledged
wrestling match and
whether my boys are
involved or not I'm like
hey you guys need to
knock it off right now
you know now I don't
tell them like what are
you thinking what are
you doing go to your
corner you know I'm
not going to rebuke
your kids but look if
your kids are doing
something bad if kids
are doing something
bad they're being
dangerous if they're
gonna hurt themselves
or hurt others it's
okay to say hey stop or
hey you need to go to
your parents but don't
sit there and rebuke
them like they're your
kids so don't rebuke
them but you can
obviously stop other
children from doing
something that's wrong
or doing something that's
dangerous or hurting
somebody or hurting
themselves it's okay to
tell kids that hey you
can't you shouldn't be
doing that number five
never allow your children
to walk up to an adult
and tattle to that adult
about their children that
is not appropriate
children should be taught
to go to their own
parents with their
their problems you should
you should your kids
should never do this you
should never allow this
and I'm telling you the
truth the rule at our
house is if you walk up
to somebody else's parent
tells them anything you're
getting a spanking I don't
care what it was about
that is not your parent
I'm your dad that's your
mom these these are the
people that God gave you
you got an issue you come
to us you should never
allow your children to
walk up to some other
adult and tell them about
their kid and what their
kid is doing no now if
your kid comes to you and
tells you that there's a
problem with some other
kid then obviously you need
to take the time to listen
to them and you to decide
of what they're doing or
what's happening if it
needs to be addressed and
if you need to go to those
parents and you need to go
to those parents and
sometimes there are times
where you need to go to
that parent needs to say
things and and and try to
work things out but there
are also times when you
need to just it's a
teaching opportunity you
just teach your kids you
know don't do that stop
that I was just thinking
about this earlier I mean
this doesn't happen anymore
but I remember there was a
time with with our sons and
they were younger where we
felt like some kids were
just being kind of very
rough with them and and
hurting them and you know
we're just telling like hey
look when they're being
nice and they're playing
well play with them and
when they're not walk away
you don't have to be you
don't have to play with
them if they're being rough
and hurting you but you
need to just realize that
when your kids come it's
your job to help them so
don't ignore them say I
just forget it listen to
what's going on maybe you
have to step in maybe need
to address the issue but
maybe you need to teach them
something or use it as a
teaching opportunity number
seven never allow your
children to be rude to other
adults period end of story
there is never a reason for
some punk kid to be rude to
an adult ever don't let them
be rude to adults when it
happens and needs to be
corrected immediately you say
well what does that mean I
mean it means being rude to
them it means mouthing off to
them but also you know it
just means being disrespectful
hey let me let me help you
out with something children
should never call adults by
their first name period ever
they need to speak to them
with respect and if they use
somebody's first name that's
OK but you use a title you
know it's brother Oliver
it's Deacon Oliver you know
or it's Miss Joanne but some
little kid should be walking
over there Joanne let's have a
talk no you're a kid you speak
with respect you need to be
taught to speak right and look
mom and dad it's your job
number eight don't excuse your
children's behavior look it is
like rare to the point where it
probably never happens when
one person is just completely
innocent and has done
absolutely wrong I mean I do
marriage counseling all the time
and and and even in marriage
counseling when it's really
obvious that like this person
the problem this person but
even in those situations there's
always some responsibility that
the other party can take because
we're all sinners so teach your
children to take responsibility
for their part and what's being
done and don't excuse your kids
behavior look if your kid is
being mean to some kid because
that kid was mean to them don't
excuse and say well that
justifies it no it doesn't well
they hit them because they hit
them first well they shouldn't
hit them they should have came
to you you should have they
should have resolved it with you
teach your kids to take
responsibility for their actions
don't excuse their behavior
don't just say well it's not
their fault they're innocent no
they're sinners like everybody
else number nine do not
criticize I don't care if you
say amen or not sometimes when
it gets quiet I'm like yeah you
need this number nine do not
criticize criticize others in
the presence of your children
you say why two reasons a
spiritual reason or carnal
reason why you don't want to
talk crap about your pastor or
your pastor's wife or the staff
or other church members around
your your kids all right I'll
give you the spiritual reason
you probably won't care about
and I'll give you the carnal
reason that you will care about
here's a spiritual reason number
one because they're going to you
your kids are going to mirror
you so when you sit there and
just talk badly about other
people they're going to grow up
to talk bad about other people
and they're going to grow up to
talk about about you that's the
spiritual reason here's the
carnal reason because your kids
are going to come to churches
tell everybody because the
Ecclesias 10 and these 20
Verse 20, curse not the king, no, not in thy thoughts, and curse not the rich in thy bedchamber,
for a bird of the air shall carry the voice, and that which hath wings shall tell the matter.
That verse is where we get the little phrase, a little birdie told me.
Let me tell you who that little birdie is.
It's your kids.
They come back to church and they're like, my mom said, my dad said, don't criticize
others in the presence of your children because they're going to repeat it.
Here's number 10, don't enable your children if they're always playing the victim.
Realize that if you feed into your kids like victim mentality, you're going to create a
victim.
And if you feed into your kids victim mentality, it's probably because you have a victim mentality.
But don't enable that.
I mean, I remember this just last year at the 4th of July picnic last year.
Who was at the 4th of July picnic last year?
At the 4th of July picnic last year, and this happened in front of a lot, I mean, many of
you were witnesses to this, but this lady walks up to my wife and I came into this whole
situation at the tail end of it and I was thankful that I was at the tail end of it.
But this lady, not one of our church members, just a lady that happened to be at the park,
she walks up to my wife and she says, your daughter and her friends are bullying my daughter.
And my wife's just like, what, you know?
And she says, well, who are you talking about?
And she's talking about Elizabeth, which obviously Elizabeth, I love you, she's a sinner like
anyone else, but if you know Elizabeth, she's like the most just like nicest calm kid ever,
you know?
And this lady, she's like, your daughter and her friend were bullying my daughter.
I mean, some of you were there, it's kind of embarrassing.
And this lady walks in, my wife's just like, what in the world, you know?
And then we're like, well, what happened?
The lady just had no idea, she's like, I don't know, they're just bullying my daughter.
So then she calls with her daughter and she's like, was my daughter hitting you?
And she's like, no.
Was she calling you names?
No.
Well, how's she bullying you?
They were laughing at me.
Oh, man, you know, what were they laughing about?
I don't know.
Well, how do you know they were laughing at you?
Were they pointing at you?
No.
So what happened?
You know, these kids are on a playground and this little girl goes on to say, your daughter
and her friends were laughing and I happened to be standing by it, so I just assumed they're
laughing at me.
It's like, they don't even know you, they've never even seen you, you're a stranger, you're
a kid on a park, they're like playing and laughing and you just assume that they're
laughing at you.
Now, that's bad enough.
I mean, that just shows you that little girl is an insecure little girl and she's probably
being raised by an insecure mom.
But here's the worst part.
The worst part is this little girl goes to her mom and says, those girls are bullying
me and she's like, I'm going to take care of this.
And it's like, you didn't even talk to your kid, you didn't even ask any questions, you
know, and by the time my wife's done with this lady, she's all embarrassed, she's like,
I'm sorry, I thought it was more serious than that, she's like trying to walk away.
And then we're just like, no, lady, you're going to get a sermon right now.
And it's just this idea.
But look, this is how parents parent their kid, where it's just like, my kids are innocent,
they do nothing wrong, and I'm going to pretend, hey, don't buy into and enable your children's
victim mentality.
You know what that little girl needs to be taught?
Just because people are laughing doesn't mean they're laughing about you.
It's not all about you.
It's not, they're just girls and they're playing, they don't even know you, they're even looking
at you.
Realize that if you feed into your kid's victim mentality, look, you're going to raise a monster.
You need to teach your children that the world's not about them, that life's not about them,
that they're not the center of the universe.
You need to teach them that, look, sometimes we just have to deal with things and we have
to be mature, and if you think that they're talking, they're not, why don't you walk up
to those girls and ask them, hey, what are you laughing about?
They'd probably be like, oh, we're laughing about this, you want to play with us?
That lady's just raising a monster.
Gonna raise a monster.
Go to Proverbs, Proverbs chapter 23, Proverbs chapter 23.
So we as parents, and you know, I'm thankful that I came in at the tail end of that because
I was just like, man, these people do not need to see their pastor just start yelling
at this crazy lady, and obviously my wife was very calm and collected.
It's crazy to me that parents would act this way.
Proverbs 23, 24, Proverbs 23, 24, parenting can and should be a blessing.
Proverbs 23, 24 says, the father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice, and he that begetteth
a wise child shall have joy of him.
Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bear thee shall rejoice.
How do you get there?
Here's how you get there.
You discipline, you disciple, you delight.
You discipline your children.
You spend time with them.
You teach them.
You train them.
You enjoy spending time with them.
You have them around you, and the Bible says that the father of the righteous shall greatly
rejoice.
You know, my goal is to enjoy, and I hope this is our prayer that my wife and I can
enjoy our adult children, that we can have a friendship and a relationship with adult
children that are walking with God.
You should be able to rejoice in the work that you've done with your children.
A wise child shall have joy of him.
Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bear thee shall rejoice.
Go to Isaiah 54.
You're there in Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Solomon, Isaiah.
Isaiah 54, Isaiah 54 and verse 13, and look, when that lady walked up to us, it's not like
we were like, my daughter's perfect should never do that.
We're like, wow, really?
Let's find out what happened.
Let's ask some questions.
When we start asking questions, then it's real obvious.
It's like, you're crazy, and you're raising a crazy.
Isaiah 54, verse 13, but you know what?
You say, well, what would you have done if she'd have said like, yeah, you know, they're
laughing at me.
They're calling me this, you know, and they're pointing at me.
What would you have done if it would have been true?
We would have gone home and spanked a daughter, because that's what parents do.
They don't put their head in the sand and just think that their kids are perfect and
there's nothing.
If your kids were perfect, then why'd God give you to train them?
Isaiah 54, verse 13, and all thy children shall be taught of the Lord.
That's your goal.
When your kids are born, from the time they're born to the time they leave your house, whatever
that means, 20, 18, whatever that, 24, whatever that means, your goal is this, that all thy
children shall be taught of the Lord.
And great shall be the peace of thy children.
You don't have to turn there, I'll just read this for you, 3 John 1.4 says, I have no greater
joy than to hear that my children walk and trip.
And look, we're raising our kids.
I'm not sitting here telling you my kids are perfect.
They are sinners.
And, you know, I'm sure that as soon as the service is over, one of them is going to go
break something.
And everybody's going to be like, oh, gee.
My kids are sinners.
Your kids are sinners.
But, you know, our goal, here's our goal.
Our goal is to love them, spend time with them, train them, discipline them, watch them
flourish for the Lord and say, I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk and
trip.
That's what every parent's goal should be, to be able to look up and say, I trained up
my child in the way he should go.
And when he is old, he did not depart from it.
That's why I had the novel word of prayer.
Heavenly Father, Lord, thank you for giving us the blessing of raising children.
And, Lord, I know it's hard.
I know it takes a lot of time and energy and money, but, Lord, help us to be parents that
are consistent, consistent in our discipline, consistent in our disciple and our discipling
of our children, consistent in our devotion to our children, our delight of our children.
Lord, help us to raise some great kids that will live for you.
I realize that kids are sinners, and they're going to make mistakes, they're going to do
foolish things, and it's our job to try to correct them and help them.
Lord, I pray you'd help us to be parents.
They're putting in the work, the time, the energy, the effort to raise these children
for the Lord.
In the matchless name of Christ, we pray.
Amen.
Now, Brother RJ, come up and lead us in a final song.
I just want to remind you that, of course, we have our Wednesday night service this week,
so we encourage you to be here with us for the Wednesday night service, but also we have
a wedding this Friday, May 27th, 5 p.m. here at the church building for Brother Serge and
Miss Ajana, so don't forget about that, and you can sign up on your communication card
if you've not yet done that, and we've got other things for you to sign up for.
If you've not yet signed up for the graduation service, if you have a kindergartner or a
high schooler that is part of our homeschool group, you can sign up on the communication
card for them to participate in the graduation service, or if they're not part of our homeschool
group and they're kindergarten, sixth grade, eighth grade, high school, and college, they
can be recognized, so you can sign up for that.
Make sure you do that so we can get all that information in, and we're going to have pizza
that night.
That's not next Sunday night, but the night after that.
If there's anything we can do for you, please let us know, and Brother RJ, come up and lead
us in a final song.
Amen.
Let's grab our songbooks and turn to page number 138.
Song number 138.
We're going to be singing the Haven of Rest.
That's song number 138, and let's sing it out on the first.
My soul, inside exile, was out of my seat.
So good and fixed in endless trance.
Till I heard a sweet voice, who made me your choice.
And I entered the haven of rest.
I hang my soul in the haven of rest.
I'll sail that city no more.
The tempest may sleep a while for me deep.
In Jesus I'm safe and alone.
I yield in myself to this tender embrace.
And they take you all of the world.
My fetters fell off, and I anchor my soul.
The haven of rest is my world.
I anchor my soul in the haven of rest.
I sail the white seas no more.
The tempest may sleep a while for me deep.
In Jesus I'm safe and alone.
The song of my soul sings of your medieval past.
Sails so past of Jesus' state.
Who looks where we'll have not heard, and not think, and not rest.
I hang my soul in the haven of rest.
I sail the white seas no more.
The tempest may sleep a while for me deep.
In Jesus I'm safe and alone.
One thirty-eight, let's sing it out on the last.
Oh comes the Savior.
He literally waits to save our kids by worldly might.
Come anchor your soul in the haven of rest.
And save thy beloved is mine.
I hang my soul in the haven of rest.
I sail the white seas no more.
The tempest may sleep a while for me deep.
In Jesus I'm safe and alone.
Amen, great singing.
Brother George, would you dismiss us with a word of prayer, please?
Amen.