Amen. All right. Well, the kids did a wonderful job and praise the Lord for that.
And of course, today is Mother's Day and we are there in Second Timothy Chapter number one.
I'd like you to look down at verse number five, Second Timothy Chapter number one in verse five.
The Bible says this. When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee,
which dwelt first and my grandmother, Lois, and my mother, Eunice,
and I am persuaded that in thee also.
And of course, this verse highlights for us the importance of the influence of a mother,
not only a mother, but a grandmother.
Here we have the Apostle Paul speaking to this young preacher, Timothy.
And he says, when I call to remembrance the unfeigned, the word unfeigned there means not fake,
means authentic, means real.
He says the unfeigned faith that is in thee.
The Apostle Paul is talking to Timothy about the unfeigned faith that is in Timothy.
And then he acknowledges this.
He says, which dwelt first in thy grandmother, Lois, and thy mother, Eunice.
And I am persuaded that in thee also.
And here in scripture, we have a testimony of the fact that the faith of a grandmother,
grandmother, Lois, was passed down to her daughter, her daughter, Eunice, and then
passed down to her son, Timothy.
And of course, the books of First and Second Timothy are named after this young man, Timothy.
And we see the value of motherhood.
We see the importance of motherhood.
And if you've been with us over the last several weeks, you know that we've been in a sermon series
on the subject of emotional intelligence.
And we've been studying emotional intelligence through the lens of the Bible.
We've been learning about how to raise our EQ.
And if you haven't been with us, if you're a first time guest or first time in a while,
I'd like you to know that we've been looking at this idea of emotions and specifically
emotional intelligence.
And if you're not familiar with that phrase, emotional intelligence, emotional intelligence is
defined or we've been defining it as the ability to recognize and regulate our own
emotions and also our ability to recognize and regulate the emotions of others, to be able to
regulate ourselves around the emotions of others.
And we've been looking at this idea.
We began several weeks ago with a sermon entitled Dumb Emotions.
And we learned about the fact that when we allow our emotions to lead us, we make dumb
decisions because emotions are not logical.
They're not reasonable.
They are dumb.
We are the ones that have orchestrated the biggest failures in our life when we allow
ourselves to be to be controlled by our emotions.
And then we learned in the second week about awareness of self.
And we learned about examining ourselves and not lying to ourselves and and and
learning how to be aware of our own emotions.
We learned in the third week about awareness of others.
We learned specifically about empathy and how sympathy is feeling for others.
Empathy is feeling with others.
In the fourth week, we learned about the awareness of context, the awareness of context.
And we learned about perceiving people, comprehending conditions, acting accordingly.
We talked about how you should ask yourself before you engage in any sort of
conflict, whether it's the right place and the right time, whether it's the right
person. And so we've been learning about these things.
Last week, we learned about social skills and social skills that emotionally
intelligent people have, like authenticity, healthy self-esteem, flexibility,
optimism, initiative and achievement.
So we've been studying this concept and we've been looking at it through the Bible, this
idea of emotional intelligence.
And of course, today is Mother's Day.
And every Mother's Day, I preach a sermon geared towards the mothers.
But what I wanted to do this year is I wanted to connect these ideas.
We were already studying emotional intelligence and we're going to continue to study
emotional intelligence next week.
I want to encourage you to be with us next week as we look at conflict resolution
using emotional intelligence in conflict resolution.
But what I'd like to do this morning, since it's Mother's Day, is preach a sermon still on
the subject of emotional intelligence geared towards mothers.
And I'd like to preach a sermon entitled The Emotionally Intelligent Mother, The
Emotionally Intelligent Mother.
Because the truth of the matter is this, that emotional intelligence is required, as we've
been learning over the last several weeks, it's required to be able to have healthy
relationships in all areas of life, but specifically in this idea of parenting and
mothers and fathers both need to be emotionally intelligent.
And let me just go ahead and let you know, moms, today's Mother's Day, we're talking
about emotional intelligent mothers.
But on Father's Day, several weeks from now, we will have shirts men for you.
We'll have very Baptist Church T-shirts for the men that will be given out to the
boys and men. And I'll preach a sermon then entitled The Emotionally
Intelligent Father.
All right. So this morning we'll look at the emotionally intelligent mother and several
weeks from now, we'll look at the emotionally intelligent father.
Now, you're there in Second Timothy, chapter one.
And of course, we already saw the verse there and the the value of a good mother.
When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which was which
was first in thy grandmother, Lois, and thy mother, Eunice.
And I am persuaded that in thee also.
I'd like you to go with me, if you would, to the book of Titus, Titus, chapter
number two. You're there in Second Timothy.
So you're just going to flip over one book into the book of Titus, Titus, chapter
number two. And when you get there, please do me a favor.
Put a ribbon or a bookmark or something there because we're going to leave it and
we're going to come back to it. Titus, chapter number two.
And what I'd like to do this morning, ladies, is give you four thoughts
regarding being an emotionally intelligent mother or using emotional
intelligence within the scope of motherhood, and I don't want this to be
very long. I'll try to go through this as quickly as we can this morning.
So that way you can beat the Methodists to the buffet for Mother's Day or wherever
it is that you're going to go. And I'd like to give you several thoughts.
And if you'd like to jot these down on the back of your course of the week,
there's a place for you to write down some notes and maybe you can jot those
down there.
I'd like to notice Titus, chapter two, and look at verse number four, Titus,
chapter two and verse four. The Bible says this.
It says that they now just for sake of context, you can go ahead and study it out
later if you'd like. But the they there, and it'll be clear in the context,
is referring to the aged women.
It's what the apostle Paul refers to in verse three, the aged women or the older women,
women that have gone on before and have already raised their children.
And the Bible says here in Titus 2, 4, by the way, let me just say this.
If you're here this morning and you say, well, I've already raised my children,
so this sermon isn't for me.
Hey, this sermon can be is for emotionally intelligent mothers, but it can also be for
an emotionally intelligent grandmother.
It can also be for just emotional intelligence is good in every area of life.
And if you're here this morning, you say, well, I'm a father.
Well, some of these things will help you, too.
I'll have a sermon for you on Father's Day, but some of these things will help
you, too. Hey, some of these things we're going to talk about today will
help you in every area of life.
So don't discount. Whenever the word of God is open, we should be attentive and
listen and try to learn from it.
The Bible says all scriptures given by inspiration of God and it's profitable.
It's all profitable for us.
But notice here, Titus 2, 4, the Bible says they these are the aged
women that they may teach the young women to notice.
The Bible says that the aged women should be the ones teaching the younger women.
Notice the words here to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
to be discreet, chaste.
And I want you to notice this little phrase here, keepers at home, keepers at home,
good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
And the Bible here is teaching that when a mother has small children
at home, that it would be God's will for them to be keepers at home.
And when we see that phrase there, keepers at home, of course, what we think of is
what it says, that this is someone that should be in the home and should be
keeping the home.
But the idea here is not just to be in the home like you're kept in the home, but
that you, mother, are the keeper of the home.
It means, yes, to stay home.
But what it's talking about is the responsibility and the care and the
keeping of the home.
This is found throughout the Bible.
And what I'd like you to notice from this first, and if you're taking notes,
maybe you can jot this down, and it's this, that emotionally intelligent
mothers, and again, we're talking about emotional intelligence within the
context of motherhood and what is it that mothers need to provide for their
children and that emotionally intelligent mothers, mothers that are in tune, not only
with their own emotions, but with the emotions of their children can provide.
Number one, maybe you'd like to write this down.
Emotionally intelligent mothers recognize that their children need structure
and stability.
Emotionally intelligent mothers recognize that their children need
structure and stability.
And specifically, the Bible says that God has given the responsibility to mothers
and to wives and mothers to be in charge of the home, to be keepers at home, to be
those that keep the home.
You're there in Titus, if you would, keep your place there in Titus, but go back
with me into the book of 1 Timothy chapter five.
If you're there in Titus, you go backwards, past 2 Timothy, into 1 Timothy,
1 Timothy chapter five.
And the idea is this, mother, that it is your job to provide a home and to provide
a home life that has both structure and stability, structure and stability.
And what I would say is you want to key in on a couple of these things.
First is the structure, a structured and stable home.
1 Timothy 4, excuse me, 1 Timothy 5, look at verse 14, 1 Timothy 5 and verse 14.
Notice what the apostle Paul says here.
He says, I will, therefore, that the younger women marry, bear children.
And I just want you to see this phrase, guide the house.
Give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
This guide the house is the same idea as what we saw in Titus 2 5, keepers at home,
keepers at home, guide the house.
What does this mean?
It means, mom, that it's your job to run the home.
It's your job to manage the home.
It's your job to provide the structure and stability in the home.
And research has been done on this.
And I would encourage you to study this out if you'd like.
But there's been much research done on this.
And the studies always show this, that children do better in homes that have structure and stability.
Children do better.
It is better for their emotional health.
It is better for their mental health.
It is better for their physical health to be in a home that provides both structure and stability.
And of course, this does not just fall solely on the mother.
Fathers play a role in this as well.
But today we're focusing in on mothers and we'll speak to fathers on Father's Day.
But mom, you should know this, that your job, if you desire to be an emotionally intelligent mother,
your job should be to recognize that your children need structure and stability.
They need a structured and stable home.
And you can provide that by being the keeper and the guide of your house.
You can provide that by being the keeper and the guide of your house.
Now, hopefully you have a husband that helps you along with that.
But maybe you're here this morning.
You say, well, I don't have a husband or my husband does not provide structure and stability.
And if that's your case, I'm sorry about that.
But mom, I would say to you that you have a power of influence over your children that you may not even be aware of.
And again, in 2 Timothy 1.5, we notice there that Paul references back Timothy's grandmother, Lois, and mother Eunice.
But notice he never mentions Timothy's father.
And again, I'm not discounting fathers.
I think the role of a father is extremely important.
We'll talk about that on Father's Day.
But I would say this, mom, that even if there's an absent father or maybe there is a father that's not responsible and not providing for his family, not protecting his family, not doing what he's supposed to do.
You still have the ability to provide a culture in your home to provide a lifestyle in your home that gives your children stability and structure.
Because you're the guide of the house.
You're the keeper at home.
You're the one that God has ordained to be in charge.
And this idea of keeping the home and guiding the home, it's really the idea of managing the home.
The manager of the home should be the mother.
And even in a marriage that is attempting to follow the structure given by the Bible, the Bible teaches that the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church.
The truth of the matter is this, that if you say, well, in our home, the husband and the father, he's the head and that's how it should be.
Hopefully you have a spiritual man that is leading and guiding, providing and protecting.
But here's the thing.
Even if you don't, you can provide that structure and stability.
And mom, even if you do, the truth of the matter is this, your husband is gone at work all day.
He gets up in the morning, hopefully, if not bring him back on Father's Day and I'll preach at him.
But he gets up early in the morning and goes to work.
He's working all day.
He comes home in the evening.
He's providing for the family.
He's bringing home the bacon, as it were.
And even if you have a husband that is doing what he's supposed to be doing, the primary role of providing the culture and the structure of the home falls on you, mom, to be a keeper at home, to be the guide of the home.
So you should try to have a structured and stable home.
And let me say this, keep your place there in Second Timothy, excuse me, not Second Timothy, Titus.
I've already asked you to keep your place in Titus, but go with me to the Old Testament book of Deuteronomy, Deuteronomy chapter number six.
In the Old Testament, you've got the books of Genesis, first book of the Bible, Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy.
By the way, let me just say this.
I realize that what I'm teaching today may not be the popular type thing that is taught in churches today and regarding motherhood, but I'm preaching the Bible to you.
Everything that I'm going to show you is coming straight from the Bible.
The Bible is the one.
I didn't write the Bible.
The Bible is the one.
God is the one who said that wives are to be keepers at a home, that mothers are to guide the house.
God has given you, mom, the responsibility to have the responsibility.
You not only physically have those children, but you need to make sure that they have a stable and structured home.
So how can we do that?
Well, a way that you can provide a stable and structured home is by providing a stable and structured schedule.
Notice Deuteronomy chapter six and verse seven, Deuteronomy chapter six and verse seven.
Notice what the Bible says here.
This is a verse dealing with raising children.
Deuteronomy six and verse seven says this, And thou shall teach them diligently unto thy children.
And by the way, just for sake of context, what the Bible is talking about here is teaching the word of God to your children.
We are commanded as parents to teach the Bible to our children.
The Bible says, And thou shall teach them diligently unto thy children and talk of them.
But I want you to notice this emphasis because there's a word that comes up over and over and over again in this verse.
And it speaks to a schedule.
Notice what it says, And thou shall teach them diligently unto thy children and shall talk of them.
Mom, your job is to talk of them.
Notice the words here.
When you see the word when here, this speaks to a time.
This speaks to a schedule when thou sittest in thine house and when thou walkest by the way and when thou liest down and when thou rises up.
Do you know that God expects that if God were to come down on Mother's Day, Mom, and say, I'd like to take you out to lunch, Mom, and I'd like to speak to you about your responsibility of providing a structured and stable home.
For your children, you know, the Bible teaches that God should be able to ask you, Mom.
And look, I'm not trying to pick on your moms.
I hope, you know, we love you.
We we care for you.
But I am trying to challenge you and help you become a better mother and to be the best mother that you can be for the children that God has given you.
But you know that God should be able to ask you when?
When is it that thou sittest in thine house?
You understand what I just said?
God should be able to say, please tell me here's a schedule.
Here's here's a calendar.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.
Here's all the hours, the 24 hours a day.
Can you mark for me when when you have scheduled time to sit in thine house and when when thou walkest by the way?
What does that mean?
It means when we go out and about, it means when we go out into the into the community, it means go when we go out to run errands, it means when we go and do grocery shopping.
It means when there are times you understand that there are times when we are sitting in thine house and there are times when we are walking by the way.
There are times when we are lying down.
What is that?
Bedtime.
And there are times when we are rising up.
What is that?
Wake up time.
And the question I have for you, Mom, if you want to ask yourself, do I provide a structure and stable home for my family?
Well, here's a very easy way for you to ask yourself that.
Is there a time if we were to take your children aside and we won't and no one should?
Sometimes I say things like this and crazy people do crazy things.
One of my main jobs is try to help crazy people become normal.
But if someone, not here, were to take your children aside, when, when do you wake up in the morning?
Could they answer that?
Well, we wake up every morning at this time.
Or would they say, well, it kind of depends.
You know, it could be 8 a.m., it could be 11 a.m., sometimes it's 2 p.m.
When, when's bedtime?
Is there a consistent time that your children go to bed?
Is there a consistent time that your children wake up?
Is there a consistent time that you've set aside, maybe specifically?
Of course, we've got a big homeschool group here and we have a lot of mothers that homeschool their children and praise God for that.
Is there a time set aside during the day, during the week in your schedule when thou sittest in thine house?
Is there a time set aside when thou walkest by the way?
You see, what you should provide is a structured and stable schedule.
And please, please don't misunderstand me.
I understand that things happen.
I understand that life can have its upheavals and sometimes we can't follow the structure and the schedules that we have.
And we understand that.
We learned last week that an emotionally intelligent individual is one who is flexible.
They roll with the punches.
They realize that things change.
And sometimes we have to adjust.
But by and large, Mom, you should have a fairly routine schedule in your home.
You should have a school schedule.
I'm talking to the homeschool moms, hopefully the ones that have their kids in school.
You're following their schedule, getting your kids there on time and picking them up on time.
That's healthy and structured for your children as well.
But your homeschooled mothers, you should have a time when school begins.
You should have a time when lunch is.
You should have a time when school ends.
You should have a time when dinner is.
And look, again, I'm just trying to help you here.
I'm just telling you, you will produce healthy children, strong children, stable children,
mentally healthy, emotionally healthy, spiritually healthy when you provide for your children
a home that is structured and stable.
Let me just give you some real practical applications.
I think you should have a school schedule.
I think there should be a plan.
I think there should be a curriculum.
There should be consistency.
There should be a schedule.
There should be routine.
Let me just help some of your moms out.
You should have a meal schedule.
There's this whole thing of meals in the home.
You know, I would say this, especially you moms that stay home.
God bless you.
Meals should primarily be cooked at home.
I'm not saying that there's not a time to go out and eat.
All right, you dads, don't be stupid, emotionally stupid to say, well, pastor said you're supposed to cook.
And I don't care if it's Mother's Day.
You know, take her out to eat on Mother's Day.
But primarily, homes should be cooked at home.
There should be a consistency, mom.
When do we have breakfast?
When do you have lunch?
When do you have dinner?
And this should be something, you're the guide.
You're the manager.
You're the keeper of the home.
You provide this for your children
because an emotionally, look,
an emotionally intelligent mother understands that children,
you say, well, I'm not that type of person.
I'm not very structured and I'm not this and I'm not that.
And we can have a conversation about that later,
maybe in counseling if needed.
But you're crazy.
OK, we understand that.
But you say, well, I'm an adult.
I need this.
But you know what your children need?
They don't need chaos.
They need structure.
They don't need adventure.
They need routine.
They don't need just, well, we're doing this and we're doing that.
No, no, no.
They need to know what's going on every day.
By and large, the same things are happening.
We get up at the same time.
We have lunch at the same time.
We have breakfast at the same time.
We start school at the same time.
We finish school at the same time.
We do these certain things.
These are the times of the day that we run errands.
And these are the times of day that we set aside to be in the home.
Your children, whether you realize it or not,
I'm just telling you, your children need structure and stability.
And if you don't want to take the word of God for it, that's fine.
Go ahead and Google it.
There's so much research out there that says children do better
under structure, stability and routine.
So an emotionally intelligent mother recognizes that her children need structure and stability.
Structure and stability.
Let me give you a second one this morning.
Go to Proverbs 29, if you would.
If you open your Bible just right in the center,
you're more than likely following the book of Psalms.
Right after Psalms, you have the book of Proverbs.
Proverbs chapter 29.
Not only do emotionally intelligent mothers realize that their children need,
they recognize that their children need structure and stability.
But number two this morning, emotionally intelligent mothers realize
that their children need their care and attention.
An emotionally intelligent mother realizes that her children need
her care and her attention.
Notice Proverbs 29 verse 15.
The rod and reproof give wisdom.
But a child, I want you to look at it.
Look, I didn't write the Bible.
God wrote the Bible.
The rod and reproof give wisdom, notice these words,
but a child left to himself, a child left to himself,
look at this, bringeth his mother to shame.
It's interesting to me that it doesn't say bringeth his father to shame.
And I think there's lots that could be said about that,
and I won't take the time to do it.
Obviously, fathers need to play a role in the raising of their children.
But there is a connection.
It's funny to me because when you read the positive verses in the book of Proverbs
about children, a wise son maketh a glad father, right?
When you read about wise children, it talks about fathers being glad
and fathers being joyful and fathers being, and that's how fathers are, right?
When their kids do something good, they're all,
Brad's my son, look at that, that's my kid.
Look at him.
And we're like, yeah, well, hey, all kids walk.
Yeah, praise the Lord.
Yeah, good.
We know.
Look at him.
No, no kid ever walked like my kid.
And praise the Lord for that.
But there's something about mothers.
I remember my dad would often say this to me when we were growing up.
You know, you'll see the father when the kid's there graduating,
when he's graduating as a lawyer, he's graduating as a doctor,
he's graduating as some very situation where people are very proud,
and it's very, you'll see the father standing there.
But when you've got that high case, high publicity case,
where a kid is standing in a courtroom,
you know who you see standing behind him?
Not his father, but his mother.
There's just something about a mother.
God allowed you to create that life in your womb.
You delivered that life.
And it's just interesting to me that the Bible says here,
the rod and reproof give wisdom,
but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame,
and bringeth his mother to shame.
And I'm here to tell you that an emotionally intelligent mother
realizes that their children, they need their care and attention.
They need your care and attention.
Your children, mom, cannot be left to themselves.
A child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
Go to Job, if you would, Job 39.
You go backwards, you're there in Proverbs.
Do me a favor, keep your place in Proverbs,
we're going to come back to it.
You've got your place in Titus,
and keep your place in Proverbs as well.
But go to Job, you're in Proverbs,
you'll go past Psalms into the book of Job,
Job chapter 39.
Notice what the Bible says here.
Job 39, 13, Job 39, 13,
gave us thou the godly wings unto the peacock,
or wings and feathers unto the ostrich.
Here, the Bible is going to give us an example
of motherhood using a bird.
And in this case, it's an ostrich.
And he's using an ostrich as an example of a bad mother.
He says, or wings and feathers unto the ostrich.
Look at verse 14.
You say, well, what makes an ostrich a bad mother?
Here's what makes an ostrich a bad mother, verse 14.
Which leaveth her eggs in the earth,
and warmeth them in the dust,
and forgetteth that the foot may crush them,
or that the wild beasts may break them.
She is hardened against her young ones,
as though they were not hers.
Her labor is in vain, without fear,
because God hath deprived her of wisdom,
neither hath he imparted to her understanding.
And here, the book of Job, good night,
the book of Job is telling us about an ostrich
who lays eggs and leaves them in the earth,
leaves them in the ground.
She warmeth them with the dust.
Nothing wrong with that.
She's putting them in the ground
that they might be warm,
but then she leaves them.
She forgets that they're there,
and she leaves them with no protection,
just eggs buried in the dirt,
and does not acknowledge the fact,
is not aware of the fact,
does not realize the fact that someone,
another animal or human being,
may come by walking on that ground,
and that the foot may crush them,
or that the wild beasts may break them,
because she's hardened against her young ones.
And what is Job telling us here?
The book of Job is telling us
that an emotionally intelligent mother realizes
that her children need her.
They need her care,
and they need her attention.
They cannot just be left alone.
Why?
Because if you leave your children alone,
if you leave them unsupervised,
the Bible says,
but a child left to himself
bringeth his mother to shame.
So don't be like the ostrich,
where the Bible says,
God hath deprived her of wisdom,
neither hath he imparted to her understanding.
So an emotionally intelligent mother
realizes that her children need care.
They need care,
and they need attention.
Mom, your kids need attention.
Here's what I think is interesting.
And again, I'm not trying to pick on you,
and I'm just trying to help you.
But what I think is interesting is that,
mothers, I've been doing this for a long time now.
And what mothers will sometimes do
is when their children are little,
and their children need them,
when your children need you the most,
when they're vulnerable,
and they're susceptible,
and they need a mother to not leave them alone.
Oftentimes, these are the times that they leave them.
And then these children develop bad habits,
they get into trouble,
they develop problems in their life,
and then they grow up to have all these problems.
And then mom wants to be all involved
in an adult's life.
And you know, mom,
what you should have done
is been all involved in a child's life,
and a teenager's life,
and a young person's life.
You should have been there to protect,
and not like an ostrich,
leaving eggs in the dust and the dirt,
forgetting that the foot may crush them,
and that the wild beasts may break them.
And I'm not saying to give up on your adult children,
but what I am saying is this, mom,
especially those of you that have children at home,
realize that an emotionally intelligent mother
realizes that her children, they need care,
and they need your attention.
So let me give you some applications.
Don't ignore your children
by putting them in front of a screen.
I'm not saying that having your children
have screen time is bad.
I'm not saying that.
I think there's a time and a place for that.
But when a cell phone is your babysitter, mom,
that's a problem.
And if you're ignoring your children
for hours at a time,
having them in front of a screen,
that's a problem.
How about this?
Don't ignore your children
by having them in front of a screen.
But how about this one?
Don't ignore your children
by having you in front of a screen.
Oh, my kids don't get screen time.
Okay, well, how much screen time do you get?
What are your kids doing
when you're spending three to four hours a day
on your mobile device,
on Facebook and Instagram and this and that
and all these apps?
Again, I'm not against these things.
I'm just saying an emotionally intelligent mother
realizes that her children need her.
They need to spend time with her.
They need attention from her.
You need to talk to your children.
Hey, mothers, especially if you have younger children,
you need to touch your children
and embrace your children and love your children
and spend time with them.
They need you.
So don't put them in front of a screen
and ignore them.
And don't put yourself in front of a screen
and ignore them.
Don't be off doing your own thing for hours at a time.
And like I understand that we all need time
and relax and relaxation
and there's definitely a need for that.
But when you're just leaving your children alone
for hours at a time on a regular basis,
mom, you're hurting your children.
You're hurting your children.
An emotionally intelligent mother recognizes
that her children need structure and stability.
An emotionally intelligent mother realizes
that their children need her care and her attention.
Number three, go back to Proverbs if you would.
You're there in Job, Psalms, Proverbs, Proverbs chapter 10.
Proverbs chapter 10.
Look, I realize as mothers then,
I hope you understand my heart.
I love you.
But if you show up here,
I'm gonna take the opportunity to try to help you.
And I'm gonna take the opportunity
to try to preach the word of God to you.
Now we'll give you a shirt
and we'll tell you we love you and we do love you.
The way we love you is by teaching you
the word of God, mom.
An emotionally intelligent mother
recognizes that her children need structure and stability,
realizes that her children need care and attention.
Number three, an emotionally intelligent mother resolves
to consistently provide correction and discipline.
An emotionally intelligent mother resolves
to consistently provide correction and discipline.
Proverbs chapter 10 and verse one,
notice what the Bible says, Proverbs 10 and verse one.
The Proverbs of Solomon, this is what I was talking about.
Remember this?
A wise son maketh a glad father.
It's just funny to me.
A wise son maketh a glad father,
but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother.
A foolish son is the heaviness of his mother.
You say, well, what do I do with foolishness
in my children?
Go to Proverbs 22, look at verse 15.
You're there in Proverbs 10, go to Proverbs 22.
We just read Proverbs 10, one,
a wise son maketh a glad father,
but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother.
Proverbs 22, 15, notice what the Bible says,
Proverbs chapter 22 and verse 15.
Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child.
And by the way, let me just say this.
Realize that the Bible says here foolishness is bound
in the heart of a child.
You say, my kids do foolish things.
My teenagers do foolish things.
Hey, that's normal.
I always think it's funny.
You know, why don't you remember how you were as a kid?
By the way, let me just say this.
Before you start judging all the teenagers in our church,
and specifically, I'll just go in and say it
because unfortunately for my kids,
they're the pastor's kids,
so they get the brunt of it.
Before you start criticizing the pastor's kids,
look at the pastor's kids.
Why don't you remember how you were at their age?
Number one.
And why don't you remember how your kids were at their age?
I think it's funny how people will criticize the pastor,
but the pastor's wife, she's not looking at children.
I'm looking at my kids and I'm looking at your kids
and I'm looking at my kids and I'm looking at your kids.
I'm thinking to myself, I think I'd rather have mine.
Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child.
Don't ever forget that.
That's normal.
And by the way, aren't you glad that you have a pastor
that doesn't judge you when your kids do stupid things?
Because we could tell the stories.
Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child.
Notice it here.
But the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
An emotionally intelligent mother
an emotionally intelligent mother resolves
to consistently provide correction and discipline.
And here's what I'm telling you.
We just talked about the ostrich.
An emotionally intelligent mother loves her children.
And look, this is the part that is crazy to me.
And this is the part where I think
you need some emotional intelligence.
Look, it's emotional intelligence.
I'm not trying to hurt your feelings.
The opposite of intelligence is being dumb.
So if you don't have emotional intelligence,
what then you have is emotional stupidity.
So let's raise our IQ a little bit emotionally.
And let's realize this.
Mom, please, realize this.
Do you know that you can love your children
and still identify inappropriate behavior
and character flaws in your children?
Because this is what emotionally dumb people do.
They say, well, I love my children,
so therefore I need to just ignore
any character flaws in their life
and any bad behavior.
I need to just ignore that because I love them.
That's stupid.
That's stupidity.
You know what that is?
That is being the ostrich we just read about
in the book of Job that literally puts her head
in the sand and pretends and ignores
there's nothing wrong.
Do you know that these things can be true?
I love my children and I realize
that they've got character flaws
and behavior problems that need to be corrected.
In fact, a mother and a father
who actually love their children
will seek to correct the behavior problems
in their children.
So an emotionally intelligent mother
resolves to consistently provide correction
and discipline.
She loves her children and still can identify
the character flaws that need to be corrected,
the discipline that needs to be brought upon her children,
and an emotionally unintelligent mother
like the ostrich puts her head in the sand,
turns a blind eye to her children's character flaws
or misbehaviors, acts like her children are not perfect,
they do nothing wrong.
That's crazy.
That's crazy, mom.
And I'm just here to tell you,
if you want to raise children
that are spiritually healthy, mentally healthy,
emotionally healthy, you need to correct them.
You need to discipline them.
I'm not talking about having some sort of boot camp
in your home.
I'm not talking about that.
But this idea of hiding,
pretending like your kids are great,
while picking apart all the other kids.
Let me tell you what all the other kids are doing.
Let me tell you what your kids are doing.
Why not focus on your family?
Why not focus on raising your kids?
I think it's funny,
and maybe there's a little bit of therapy for me,
but I just think it's funny.
People get this idea
that because I'm a pastor and a pastor's wife,
you are entitled to give us all your opinions.
Listen to me.
We will raise our children the way we see fit.
And how about you raise your children
the way you see fit?
And I understand that we're not done,
but as far as I'm concerned,
I'd rather have mine.
Resolve to consistently provide correction
and discipline to your own children.
Here's what I'm saying, mom.
If you would take as much time
to look at your children as you do
to look at every other kid's children,
other parents' children,
you might raise some great kids.
Go to 1 Peter chapter 3, if you would.
Keep your place there in Proverbs,
1 Peter chapter 3.
If you kept your place in Titus,
you got Titus, Philemon,
Hebrews, James, 1 Peter.
Titus, Philemon, Hebrews,
James, 1 Peter.
We're talking about being
an emotionally intelligent mother.
What is it?
Number one,
recognize that her children need
structure and stability.
Number two, realize that her children
need care and attention.
Number three,
resolve to consistently provide
correction and discipline.
Here's number four.
We're done, all right?
We'll be done.
You can get your shirt.
You go to a hometown buffet.
It's going to be a great day.
You go to a hometown buffet.
I'll go to Golden Corral.
It'll be good.
1 Peter chapter 3.
I'm kidding.
I would not tell you where I'm going
because I'm emotionally intelligent.
1 Peter chapter 3.
Number one,
emotionally intelligent mothers
recognize that their children
need structure and stability.
Number two,
emotionally intelligent mothers
realize that their children
need her care and attention.
Number three,
emotionally intelligent mothers
resolve to consistently provide
correction and discipline.
Number four,
emotionally intelligent mothers
remember,
emotionally intelligent mothers remember
to set the right example
of harmony and tranquility
for her children.
1 Peter 3.
Look at it.
Verse 3.
Who's adorning?
Let it not be that outward adorning
of the plating of the hair
of the wearing of gold
and the putting on of apparel,
but let it be the hidden man of the heart
and that which is not corruptible
even the ornament.
I want you to notice this phrase.
Mom,
a meek and quiet spirit.
Even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit
which is in the sight of God
a great price.
Could this describe you today, mom?
A meek and quiet spirit?
Mother, is this how you can be described today?
A meek and quiet spirit?
See, an emotionally intelligent mother
remembers to set the right example
of harmony and tranquility.
Now, what's the opposite of this?
What is the opposite
of setting an example of a meek and quiet spirit?
We'll go back to Proverbs real quickly.
Let's look at the verses.
Proverbs 21, look at verse 9.
Real quickly, Proverbs 21, verse 9.
We'll be done here in five minutes
if you can move quickly.
Proverbs 21, verse 9.
God says that a godly woman
should have the spirit of a meek and quiet spirit.
Now, don't confuse meekness with weakness.
Those are not the same thing.
And the Bible says that the Lord Jesus Christ was meek.
It is meek and lowly.
Nothing wrong, nothing weak about being meek.
You say, what's meekness?
Meekness is not weakness.
Meekness is strength under control.
Out of control strength is not impressive.
Nobody should be impressed by your ability to,
well, I can get real loud and angry.
That should not be impressive to anyone.
All that shows us is your inability to control yourself.
Meekness is the ability to have strength
and hold it within temperance,
hold it within control.
A meek and quiet spirit.
What's the opposite of a meek and quiet spirit?
Proverbs 21, 9.
It is better to dwell in the corner of a housetop
than with a brawling woman in a white house.
Look at Proverbs 21, 19.
It is better to dwell in the wilderness
than with a contentious and an angry woman.
Look at Proverbs 25 and verse 24.
It is better to dwell in the corner of a housetop
than with a brawling woman in a white house.
And I ask you today, which one describes you,
meek and quiet spirit or a contentious and angry woman?
And look, you say, you're picking on us.
Look, listen to me.
The way that you act in your home
is how your children will act.
What's the big deal about being a gossip?
The big deal about being a gossip
is that you'll raise a bunch of gossips.
What's the big deal about being dramatic?
The problem with being dramatic
is that you'll raise a bunch of drama mamas
and drama papas.
What's the big deal about always being agitated?
What's the big deal about always being angry?
What's the big deal about being feisty?
What's the big deal about being rude?
The big deal is that you're raising feisty, angry, rude,
loud, stubborn, obnoxious children.
Is that what you want?
Because the truth is this, that what we teach our children
is not as much taught as it is caught.
And as much as my wife and I do our best
to teach our children the Word of God
and speak to them and explain to them
and tell them this is how it should be,
this is what you should do, this is what the Bible says
and how God says you should act
in this area and that area,
what we understand is this,
that more important than telling them
what they should be doing
is showing them how they should be living.
Because you can tell kids all day long,
look, you can sit there and,
kids, don't smoke.
Don't, don't, you can do that.
But you know what you'll raise probably?
Kids that smoke, kids that drink,
kids that curse, kids that are rude,
kids that are obnoxious.
So an emotionally intelligent mother and father,
they remember to set the right example.
In front of their children,
in front of their children,
an emotionally intelligent mother
will seek to have a meek and quiet spirit, why?
Because if you're always agitated and angry
and feisty and rude and stubborn and obnoxious
and fighting, contentious,
these are behaviors that mothers
will pass down to their children.
You know what crazy mothers raise?
Crazy children.
I'm not trying to hurt your feelings,
I'm just telling you, remember,
if you've been with us, emotional intelligence,
what's the first step of emotional intelligence?
Look in the mirror and don't lie to yourself.
If you're being crazy, mom,
at least hide it from your children.
But how about just get rid of it altogether?
Just walk in the spirit
and don't fulfill the lust of the flesh
and set the right example for your children.
By the way, let me just say this,
and you, again, you do what you want with it.
Emotionally intelligent mothers,
they know that the way they respond
and the way they respect their God-given authority,
and if you're married, that's your husband,
is how your children will respond
and respect their God-given children,
which is you, mom.
Say, my kid's mouth off to me.
Do you mouth off to your husband?
My kids, they have this and they have that problem.
Are you setting the right example for your children?
Because emotionally intelligent mothers realize,
emotionally intelligent parents realize
that child rearing is more caught than taught.
And we should teach it.
We should teach it.
But more important than teaching,
you say, what would be the best thing?
The best thing would be for you to teach it
and to exemplify it, to mentor them and model them.
But if you had to choose one,
I would say, show them an example and don't teach them.
Because teaching them and not doing it is detrimental.
It's hypocrisy.
Kids will see it a mile away.
Go to Proverbs 31, we'll finish up.
You do what you want.
Raise your children how you want.
But what I'm saying to you this morning is this,
emotionally intelligent mothers,
mothers that are in tune with their own emotions,
and here's the key,
and the emotions of their children,
they recognize that their children need structure
and stability.
They need a home of routine and schedule.
They realize that their children need
care and attention.
They resolve to consistently provide
correction and discipline.
They don't turn a blind eye
to the flaws of their children.
They love their children
and therefore correct their children.
And they remember to set the right example
of harmony and tranquility.
Proverbs 31, look at verse 10.
Who can find a virtuous woman
for her price is far above rubies?
We end where we begin.
The value of a mother.
There's an amazing value
to an emotionally intelligent mother.
Her price is far above rubies.
Why don't you notice the result
of being an emotionally intelligent mother?
What is the result?
The result is this, look at verse 31.
Proverbs 31, 31.
Give her of the fruit of her hands
and let her own works praise her in the gate.
You know what will be the result
of you being an emotionally intelligent,
healthy, spiritually healthy,
mentally healthy,
emotionally healthy, balanced individual?
You know what the result,
Mom, of that will be?
Is that you will raise children
that are spiritually healthy,
mentally healthy, emotionally healthy.
Your works will praise you in the gate.
That's why I always think it's funny
when people criticize, you know,
us or parenting or whatever.
I always think to myself the same thing.
Well, the proof is in the pudding.
Let not him that putteth off his harness
boast himself as he that putteth it on.
And the truth is this,
that you just raise your kids
and you do the best with you.
You can with them.
Obviously, none of us are perfect.
The result of being an emotionally intelligent mother
is that you will succeed with your children.
Your children will succeed in the real world.
Her works will praise her in the gates.
Look at verse 28 and we'll be done.
Powers 31, 28.
Here's the reward of motherhood.
The reward of being an emotionally intelligent mother
is this, your children will honor and praise you.
Powers 31, 28.
Her children will rise up and call her blessed.
Her husband also and he praises her.
That's the reward.
You say, Pastor, everything you said today,
I don't want to do it.
OK, I get that.
But do you want this?
Your children to arise up and call her blessed
and her husband also and he praises her?
Is that what you want?
I think that's what every mother wants.
Well, then you need to be the mother
that recognizes that your children
need structure and stability.
They don't need you going off
on a different adventure every day.
They need routine and consistency.
You need to realize that your children need
care and attention.
They don't need to be raised by a screen
and you don't need to be engaging yourself
in a screen for hours at a time.
You don't need to be leaving your children
by themselves for hours at a time.
Your children need your attention.
You need to resolve to correct your children.
Stop criticizing everybody else's kids
and start looking at your own kids.
Love them and correct them lovingly.
And remember to set the right example
of harmony and tranquility.
Because you can lose it and act all crazy, Mom.
But your kids are going to see that.
And parenting is more caught than taught.
So make sure they're catching the right things.
Ms. Powerheads and I have a word of prayer.
Heavenly Father,
Lord, we do love you.
And we thank you.
And Lord, we thank you for the mothers
that are represented in this room.
I thank you for all the women in my life
that are mothers.
I thank you for my mother
and for the testimony she gave us.
I've said this before.
I can honestly say I've never,
I never saw my mom and dad fight growing up.
I never did.
I'm not saying they didn't fight.
They just didn't do it in front of us.
I'm thankful for that.
I thank you, Lord, for my wife
and the amazing mother she is to our children.
I thank you for all the mothers
represented in this room.
Lord, I pray you'd bless them.
I pray you'd help them.
This thing of motherhood, it's a hard task.
It's a hard job.
Lord, I pray you'd help them
to raise their emotional intelligence,
especially in regards to raising their children.
Help us all, Lord,
to raise our emotional intelligence.
In the matchless name of Christ, we pray.
Amen.