["Pomp and Circumstance"]
Amen. We want to welcome you to Verity Baptist Church this morning. We are so glad that you are with us.
And we, of course, would like to begin the service with a word of prayer.
So let's go ahead and bow our heads together and have a word of prayer.
Heavenly Father, Lord, we do love you. We thank you for allowing us to gather together today.
Lord, we pray that you would bless the service this morning, Lord, the singing, the preaching, the fellowship.
We ask that everything that's done today would bring honor and glory to your name.
In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
Turn to song 262.
262.
The light of the world is Jesus. 262 on the first.
The world was in the darkness of sin. The light of the world is Jesus.
The sunshine at noonday is glory shown in. The light of the world is Jesus.
Come to the light is shining for thee. Sweetly the light has dawned upon me.
Once I was blind, but now I can see. The light of the world is Jesus.
No darkness have we who in Jesus abide. The light of the world is Jesus.
We walk in one light is Jesus.
Come to the light is shining for thee. Sweetly the light has dawned upon me.
Once I was blind, but now I can see.
I'm losing my voice. I need a little help, all right? So let's sing it out on the third.
Ye dwellers.
Good.
Watch at his bidding. The light will arise. The world is Jesus.
Come to the light is shining for thee. Sweetly the light has dawned upon me.
Once I was blind, but now I can see. The light of the world is Jesus.
Good. Let's end it strong on the last.
No need of the sunlight in heaven we're told. The light of the world is Jesus.
The land in the city of gold. The light of the world is Jesus.
Come to the light is shining for thee. Sweetly the light has dawned upon me.
Once I was blind, but now I can see. The light of the world is Jesus.
Good singing.
Amen. All right. Well, let's take our bulletins. We'll look at some announcements real quickly.
If you do not have a bulletin, just raise your hand and one of our ushers can get one for you.
If you need a bulletin, just put your hand up and we will get one for you.
The verse this week, Proverbs 29 and 11, a fool uttereth all his mind, but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.
And that's a good verse there. We like that.
If you open up your bulletin, you'll see our service time Sunday morning service 10 30 a.m.
And we're glad that you're with us, of course, on Sunday morning on the Lord's day for church Sunday evening service at 6 p.m.
And then our Wednesday evening Bible study at 7 p.m.
And we do invite you to be with us on Wednesday night for the Wednesday evening Bible study.
And of course, we're going to be back in the book of Hebrews Hebrews chapter number 11, which is the big hall of faith.
And we want to encourage you to be with us as we study that.
If you look at our soul winning times, our main soul winning times on Saturday mornings at 10 a.m.
And we do want you to make note that the Thursday afternoon soul winning time is back at 2 p.m.
And then Sunday soul winning time at 2 p.m.
Of course, if you'd like to go soloing this afternoon, there'll be an opportunity for you to be able to do that.
And you can just meet here in the auditorium at 2 p.m.
And then, of course, if you are a first time guest, if it's your first time here at Verity Baptist Church, we are so glad that you are with us.
We have a gift we'd like to give you as you walk out of the church building this morning.
If you go out the main foyer, you'll see a little table set up.
And on that table, you will see these little gift bags.
Please grab one on your way out as a gift from us to you for being our guest this morning.
There are several resources in this bag that we'd like you to have.
The one I'd like to highlight is this documentary that our church made.
It's called Being Baptist.
It's very well made, very interesting, and we think you'll like it.
We want to give this to you as a gift.
So please make sure you don't leave here this morning without grabbing one of these gift bags on your way out.
And if you are a guest, we'd ask that you'd please take a moment to fill out the communication card, which is inserted in your bulletin.
If you need a pen, just raise your hand and one of our ushers can bring you by a Verity Baptist Church pen.
And you're welcome to keep the pen, of course, as a gift from us as well.
We're not going to do anything odd with your info.
We would just like to have a record of your attendance.
We actually would like to send you a little gift, but we need your information to do that.
So please take a moment to fill the card out.
When we're done with the announcements, we're going to sing a song.
And when we're done singing, we're going to receive the offering.
And as the offering plate goes by, you can drop this card in the offering plate.
Or you can hand it to me after the service.
I'll be standing at the main door greeting people on the way out.
And, of course, if you need to be baptized, you can let us know on your communication card.
And we can follow up with you and talk to you about that.
If you look at the announcements and upcoming events, well, first of all, you should have one of these cards there in your bulletin.
And, of course, last Sunday morning we began a brand new sermon series on the subject of emotional intelligence.
We're going to continue that this morning.
And we began last week with an introductory sermon into the concept of emotional intelligence.
We're learning how to biblically raise your EQ in all areas of life.
And then, of course, today we're going to be in part two.
And we're going to start in this awareness of self is what we'll be learning today.
And we're glad that you are with us, of course, for that.
If you look at the announcements, of course, this last Tuesday and Wednesday we had our Next Generation Youth Rally.
And everything went great with that.
The kids had a good time.
And, of course, I just want to say thank you.
And our church family wants to say thank you to everyone who volunteered their time and effort to make this year's Youth Rally a success.
There was a lot of you that helped in all sorts of different areas.
And we just want to thank you for that.
And then, of course, we've got some just things coming up.
First of all, we just want all the ladies to be aware that we have our annual Ladies' Tea coming up.
And we invite all the ladies to come out for an elegant afternoon tea in honor of Mother's Day.
So this tea party is not just for mothers. It's for all ladies.
It is in honor of Mother's Day, but you don't have to be a mother to come.
All ladies, girls, young ladies, they're all invited.
And that will be on Saturday, May 11th at 3 p.m.
And, of course, there will be tea, there will be food, there will be preaching, and then there's going to be a gift basket.
There will be games, a gift basket that will be given away, raffled off at the end of the event.
And if you'd like to sign up, you can sign up on your communication card.
We do need you to sign up. We need to know that you're coming.
So please make sure you do that.
That is on Saturday, May 11th at 3 p.m.
And then the very next day, on Sunday, May 12th, is Mother's Day.
So we want to invite you to join us for a special Mother's Day service.
And we're going to have a gift for all the ladies in attendance, not just the mothers, all the ladies.
And there will be special music from the VBC Children's Choir.
So just put that on your calendar, make sure it's coming up.
And if you're a mother, you can use that day as an excuse to make all your kids come to church, all right?
Tell them that's what you want for Mother's Day, is for your kids to come to church and to take you out to lunch, all right?
And that will be good. You'll enjoy that.
And, of course, Children's Choir, they're going to be singing on Mother's Day,
so they're going to start practicing today at 5.15 in the playroom.
So make sure you're there for that.
5.15 today in the playroom.
They're going to start practicing for Mother's Day.
That's open to ages 4 to 12 years old.
Homeschool PE class, they've got PE class this Thursday, April 18th.
Ladies Weight Loss Accountability Group, they meet on Wednesdays at 6.15 p.m. in my wife's office.
And you can ask my wife about that if you'd like.
There's other things there for you to look at.
Please don't forget to turn your cell phones off or place them on silent so that they're not a distraction to anybody.
If you look at the back of the bulletin, birthdays and anniversaries for the month of April this week.
We have Caleb Chesick's birthday on April 15th.
Ms. Christine Ortiz has a birthday on April 15th.
Jeffrey Love has a birthday on April 15th.
Brother Joseph and Ms. Jackie Chesick have an anniversary on April 19th.
Michael and Teresa Salazar have an anniversary on April 20th.
And those are all this week.
And then, of course, praise report, money matters, all those things are there for you to look at.
Please continue to help us with the kids.
We want to make sure they're not running up and down these hallways.
And these doors, you know, they swing out.
And if they swing out, first of all, if you're going out the door, make sure you're not pushing them too hard.
But if a kid is running, they could get really hurt.
So please help us. Watch your kids.
Make sure they're not running.
We've got like three acres of land out there that they can run on, all right?
So they don't need to be running up and down hallways where the doors are swinging out.
We just want to protect them.
We're trying to help them, all right?
So please, if you could help us with that, we would appreciate your help.
I think that's it for all of the announcements.
So we're going to go ahead and sing the chorus of the week, which is the insert in your bulletin.
And we're going to sing.
There's a new name written down in glory as we prepare to receive the offering this morning.
Sing it out on the first.
I was once a sinner, but I came.
Pardon to receive from my Lord.
This was really given, and I found that he always kept his word.
There's a new name written down in glory, and it's mine.
Oh, yes, it's mine.
And the white-robed angels sing the story.
A sinner has come home.
For there's a new name written down in glory, and it's mine.
Oh, yes, it's mine.
Since forgiven, I am bound for heaven.
Evermore to roam good.
Sing it out on the second.
I was humbly kneeling at the cross, fearing not but God's angry frown.
When the heavens opened and I saw that my name was written down.
There's a new name written down in glory, and it's mine.
Oh, yes, it's mine.
And the white-robed angels sing the story.
There has come home.
There's a new name written down in glory, and it's mine.
Oh, yes, it's mine.
With my sins forgiven, I am bound for heaven.
Nevermore to roam good.
Sing it out on the last.
In the book is written saved by grace.
Oh, the joy that came to my soul.
Now I am forgiven, and I know by the blood I am made whole.
There's a new name written down in glory, and it's mine.
Oh, yes, it's mine.
And the white-robed angels sing the story.
There has come home.
There's a new name written down in glory, and it's mine.
Oh, yes, it's mine.
With my sins forgiven, I am bound for heaven.
Nevermore to roam good.
Amen.
Good singing.
Amen.
Amazing.
So, everything that is good and that is wise really finds its roots in the Bible.
And what we're looking at is we're looking at this idea of emotional intelligence through
the lens of the Bible.
We're learning how to biblically raise your emotional intelligence and if you remember
last week what we learned about emotional intelligence is that emotional intelligence
is our ability to recognize and regulate our own emotions and to recognize and regulate
ourselves around the emotions of others, and that's just kind of the working definition.
If you weren't here last week or you just kind of want to understand, what is emotional
intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is the ability, the intelligence to be able to recognize and
regulate your own emotions and to recognize and regulate yourself around the emotions
of others.
And, of course, last week we talked about why is it that we even need emotional
intelligence?
And if you remember last week, we learned that the reason you need emotional intelligence
is because emotions are dumb, and we were not meant to be led by our emotions.
We were meant to be informed by our emotions.
Our emotions are like an alarm system that inform us, but they must be used alongside
logic because if you are led by your emotions, you're going to make dumb decisions because
emotions are dumb.
They're illogical.
They're not rational.
They don't make good decisions.
And, of course, we learned last week that we, that you and I, were the masterminds
behind the stupidest decisions we've ever made, and we were the ones that crafted
those decisions.
We were the ones that planned those decisions.
We were the masterminds behind the stupidest things, the biggest regrets of your life
because we've allowed, when we allow, our emotions to control us.
Emotional intelligent people are not controlled by their emotions, but they control their
emotions, and this week, we're going to begin to dig into these different areas of
emotional intelligence.
Of course, you have there in your card that we've handed for you a little bit of
an outline for the series.
We talked about this last week that we'll be learning about awareness of self, awareness
of others, awareness of context, social skills, and conflict resolution.
Those are the things we'll be covering in the sermon series, and this morning, we're
going to begin with the first of those, awareness of self.
Awareness of self.
Now, you're there in Matthew, chapter 7, and we're going to jump into this passage
here in a minute, but let me just give you a definition for awareness of self, just
so you can understand what we're talking about, and like I said in this sermon, I
told you last week in this series, we'll be using the Bible heavily, of course,
like we always do, but I'll be using other books and excerpts from articles and things of that
nature as well, and here's an excerpt from a book entitled Emotionally Intelligent
Leadership, and it's page 31 of the book, and here's what it says.
Now, this is a definition for awareness of self.
They're calling it self-perception, but it's the same thing.
Here's what they said.
Emotional self-perception is about describing, naming, and understanding your emotions.
Emotionally intelligent leaders are aware of how situations influence emotions and how
emotions affect interactions with others.
When we're talking about self-awareness, what we're talking about is being able to
describe, name, and understand your own emotions and having enough emotional intelligence
to be aware of how situations influence your emotions and how emotions affect our
interactions with others, and what we're going to look at this morning is this idea
of self-awareness from the Word of God, and if you're taking notes, and I always
encourage you to take notes.
On the back of your course this week, there's a place for you to write down notes.
The first thing we're going to look at, and if you'd like to jot this down, is we're
going to look at getting insight into self-awareness, getting insight into self-awareness.
Jesus was the master communicator.
He was the master teacher.
He's the master everything.
He's the master of the universe, and he himself is going to serve as an example of
someone who was great at emotional intelligence.
We'll see that this week and next week as well, and Jesus here gives a little lesson.
He gives this, really it's an exaggeration.
He's using hyperbole to make a point, and this is a very famous little parable that
he taught in the Bible, and the reason we're looking at it this morning is because
we can gather some insight into this idea of self-awareness from Matthew Chapter 7.
Now before we do that, let me just give you an explanation of the passage.
It's a very well-known passage.
You know it.
We could preach a whole sermon on just these three verses that I'm about to show
you right now, and I have preached entire sermons on these three verses, but that's
not the point, but let me just give you an explanation because I always want
to give you the primary application when we look at a passage.
Matthew Chapter 7, look down at verse number 3.
Notice what Jesus says.
He says, and why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considers
not the beam that is in thine own eye.
Now just for sake of understanding, let me just define some of these things for you
here.
A mote is defined as a very small piece of dust, a speck of dirt or a dirt speck
is what a mote is, and then of course a beam is a long piece of timber that is
used in construction, and think of like a two by four or something like that, and Jesus
here is teaching, and he's using this hyperbole, he's using this example.
He says, and why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye.
He says you are concerning yourself with the mote, the very small piece of dust, the
speck of dirt in your brother's eye, but considers not the beam that is in thine own
eye, and the idea that he's saying is that you're concerning yourself with this
very small piece of dust that is in your brother's eye, well there's a two by four,
you know, just coming out of your eye, and of course this is not literal, this is an exaggeration
to make a point, and look at what he says in verse four, he says, or how wilt thou
say to thy brother, let me pull out the mote out of thine eye, and behold a beam
is in thine own eye.
Now again, I'm not preaching on this subject necessarily, but just by way of introduction,
just to be clear, I want you to notice that Jesus is teaching against hypocritical judgment,
and what he's saying is that it's hypocritical for you to concern yourself with a very small
issue in somebody else's life while you've got some glaring big issue coming out of
your own life.
Notice there in verse five he makes it clear, thou hypocrite.
He says when someone is beholding the mote out of their brother's eye, and considering
not the beam that is in their own eye, and attempting to pull the mote out of their brother's
eye, when they're not even aware that there is a beam in their own eye, he says that
is hypocritical, that is being a hypocrite.
So I do want you to notice that Jesus is teaching against hypocritical judgment,
but let me just say this as well, Jesus is not teaching against judgment in general,
because the liberals today like to take this passage and say, so therefore Jesus was
against judging anyone at any time for any reason, well that's not true.
Look at verse five, he says thou hypocrite, notice the instructions, he says first cast
out the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou clearly see to cast out
the mote out of thy brother's eye.
The problem is not with trying to help your brother cast out the mote out of his
eye, the problem is trying to get your brother to cast out the mote out of his eye and
not dealing with your issue first.
So I want you to notice that Jesus is teaching against hypocritical judgment, and he is not
teaching against judgment in general.
Now that's the passage, that's what it's about, that's the primary application, and
like I said, we could develop that, and we could preach an entire sermon on that,
and I have preached entire sermons just out of this passage, but what I want us
to look at is I want us to look at this passage through the lens of emotional intelligence,
and specifically through the lens of self-awareness in regards to emotional intelligence,
because there's some insight that we can receive from this passage in regards to emotional intelligence.
Jesus, being the master teacher and the master communicator, teaches these lessons, and they're
so deep that we can look at them from different angles and gather different things.
So that was the explanation.
The explanation in these three verses there, Matthew chapter 7 verse 3, verse 4 and 5,
is that Jesus is teaching against hypocritical judgment, he is not teaching against judgment
in general.
So what I'd like you to notice is just the insight we can gather in regards to self-awareness,
because remember, self-awareness is understanding our own emotions, describing, naming, labeling,
and controlling our own emotions, and I want you to notice just some insight we receive
here in regards to emotional intelligence, getting insight into self-awareness, and if you'd
like, maybe you can jot these things down.
Number one, what we see in this passage is that we, and again, I'm giving you some
insight in regards to self-awareness, the subject that we're talking about this morning
is self-awareness, being aware of yourself, being aware of your own emotions, and this
insight is meant to help open your eyes to your own self-awareness.
Now after the insight, I'm going to give you some instructions, and I'm going to give
you some things from the Word of God in regards to how we can practice self-awareness
and how we can develop self-awareness, how we can get better at self-awareness, but this
is just the insight to help you understand some things regarding self-awareness, and
specifically that Jesus is pointing out here, and the first thing is this when it comes
to the insight of self-awareness, that we have an amazing ability to deceive ourselves.
We have an amazing ability to deceive ourselves.
Matthew chapter seven, look at verse three, notice it.
And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye?
That's not necessarily the problem.
The problem is not that you have become aware of a mote in your brother's eye, and
as Jesus will teach in the same passage, the problem is not with you trying to help
your brother with the mote that is in his own eye.
The issue that Jesus brings up is this, why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy
brother's eye?
Here's the problem, but considerest not.
The word consider means to think about, to ponder, to acknowledge, to identify.
He says, you're so good, he says, we're so good at beholding the mote that is in
our brother's eye, but consider is not the beam that is in thine own eye.
And what we learn from this is this, that as human beings, we have this amazing ability
to deceive ourselves.
We have this amazing ability to be blind to our own issues, to our own problems, to
the mote, to the beam that is in our own eye.
So number one, we see that we have an amazing ability to deceive ourselves.
And then number two, we often believe that we are not the problem and that the problem
is outside of us.
Look, whether you have emotional intelligence or not, you need to just understand this
and this will just help you in life.
Human nature and human tendency is to believe.
We just, by nature, tend to lean towards this idea that we are not the problem and
the problem is outside of us.
Look at the verses again.
Why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye?
Do you want to know why we tend to focus on the mote that is in our brother's eye
while considering not the beam that is in our own eye?
Because we have the tendency, if you do not wake up to self-awareness, you will never understand
that we have the tendency to believe that we are not the problem and that the problem
is outside of us.
And all these things help, or I should say, hinder this idea of self-awareness because
we tend to deceive ourselves.
We tend to think that the problem is outside of us.
Look at verse four.
Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, let me pull out the mote out of thine eye and
behold a beam is in thine own eye?
So we have an amazing ability to deceive ourselves.
We often believe that the problem is not us, but the problem is outside of us.
And then thirdly, I want you to notice there that what the Bible says is that
we should focus on ourselves before we focus on others.
Look at verse four.
Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, let me pull out the mote that is in thine eye
and behold a beam is in thine own eye?
Thou hypocrite.
Look at what Jesus says.
First cast out the beam out of thine own eye.
For many years of ministry when I first started, my wife and I first started ministry,
I of course as a pastor began to do something that many pastors do and something that we're
called to do and it's began to do counseling.
And for many years early in my ministry, I thought that I wasn't good at counseling
because some husband would come in and want to tell me all the issues and all the problems
about his wife and of course his wife wasn't there and I'd say, well, your wife's not
here so let's talk about you and let's talk about your issues.
Or some wife maybe wanted to meet with my wife and I and she wants to tell us about
all the issues at her husband and it's like, well, your husband's not here but how about you?
And I used to think that I just wasn't very good at counseling, but what I've
realized since then is that you're not good at counseling.
Because what the Bible says is that before we start dealing with the issues of others,
we should first look at ourselves.
And husband, before you start wanting to deal with all the issues about why your wife
won't X, Y, and Z, why don't you consider maybe that there are some things that you
need to identify first, deal with first, fix first.
And same with wife, before you start talking about all the issues your husband and why
he doesn't X, Y, and Z, maybe we should first look at ourselves because what the
Bible says is that what Jesus said, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye.
Here's statement number four, we will be able to help others only when we first work on ourselves.
Look at verse five, thou hypocrite first cast out the beam out of thine own eye and then,
and then, there is a sequence here, and then shalt thou see clearly.
How can you see clearly when there's a beam coming out of your eye?
He says, take the beam out of your own eye, then shalt thou see clearly to cast
out the moat out of thy brother's eye.
And look, this is just insight.
I'm not teaching you anything at this point as far as like what you should be doing.
We're about to get into some real to-dos here in a minute.
These are just things you need to be aware of.
You need to be aware, things to be aware regarding self-awareness.
Regarding self-awareness, you need to understand, I need to understand this, that we have
an amazing ability to deceive ourselves.
And we often believe that the problem is not us, but the problem is outside of us.
And isn't it true?
I mean, isn't it true that we tend to say, well, you know, well, that salesman,
they sold me a vehicle that they should have never sold me and they allowed me to trade in this
and I still owe a million dollars on it, but they said I could trade it and they played with that
and it's their fault, it's not my fault.
But here's the truth.
You sold yourself on that thing before you even pulled into the parking lot.
In fact, the reason you went there is because you'd already sold yourself on it.
You'd already deceived yourself.
You'd already made the decision.
Oftentimes, all we do is try to find someone to tell us that it's okay
what we've already lied ourselves about.
So self-aware people.
Self-aware people understand that we have an amazing ability to deceive ourselves.
We consider the moat in somebody else's eye, but don't consider the beam in our own eye.
Self-aware people understand that we often believe that the problem is outside of us
and that we are not the problem, which is why we focus on the moat in somebody else's eye.
But what a self-aware person should do is first focus on themselves.
Inwardly, before they focus on others, because the only way to help other people is
when we first work on ourselves.
So that's just some insight.
Number one, getting insight into self-awareness.
What is it?
We have an amazing ability to deceive ourselves.
We often believe that we're not the problem and the problem is outside of us.
We should first focus on ourselves before we focus on others and we will only be able
to help others when we help and work on ourselves.
That's the insight.
Now let me give you some instructions.
You're there in Matthew chapter seven.
You can leave your place there in Matthew.
Go with maybe what to the book of 1 Corinthians, 1 Corinthians chapter number 11.
Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Acts, Romans, 1 Corinthians.
Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Acts, Romans, 1 Corinthians, 1 Corinthians chapter number 11.
So then the question is this.
Well, how do we develop self-awareness?
How do we become the people that are in tune and that understand that I have an amazing
ability to deceive myself?
By nature, I often tend to think that I'm not the problem and the problem is outside
of me.
And I need to learn to look inwardly and focus on myself before I start looking at
others because the only way to ever help someone else is if I first help myself.
How do we develop that?
How do we do that?
Because the problem with emotions is that emotions make us feel things and emotions
make us feel things that may or may not be there.
In fact, emotions make us feel things that are a lot worse than they actually are or
a lot better than they actually are or a lot sadder than they may actually be.
Emotions have no logic.
They have no reason.
They have no control.
So how do we develop this?
How do we develop self-awareness so that we can become emotionally intelligent people?
Well, number one, I gave you insight.
Number two, let me give you some instructions.
And these instructions, I'm going to give you four steps regarding developing self-awareness
and these are, I'll just be honest with you, they're a little wordy, but I don't
know how else to do it.
I'll try to give them to you as much as clearly as I can and maybe you can write
these down.
So if you're interested in developing self-awareness, some of you I understand are not and there
you go.
You don't think you're the problem.
Number one, to be self-aware, you must examine yourself.
To be self-aware, and we're talking about emotionally here, you must examine yourself
and we're talking specifically about your emotions.
First Corinthians chapter 11, look at verse 28.
We saw this last week, but I just want you to see it again.
You find this concept all throughout the Bible, self-examination.
First Corinthians 11, verse 28.
But let a man examine himself.
Let a man examine himself.
You want to know the real reason why we deceive ourselves?
The real reason we deceive ourselves is because we really don't want to look in the mirror
and have to deal with what we're dealing with because what we're looking at, I'm not
talking about physically.
It's not something we like.
The reason we tend to focus on other people and not look at ourselves is because when
you're truthful with yourself, it makes you feel bad about yourself.
Here the Bible says, let a man examine himself.
Look down at verse 31, same chapter, First Corinthians 11, verse 31.
For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged.
Now oftentimes people, I don't want to be judged.
Don't judge me.
Okay, well, here's the honest truth.
You live in a judgmental world.
You live in a world that's going to judge you.
You live in a world that judgment has to be made, decisions have to be made.
People have to look at situations and decide what's right, what's wrong, who's right,
who's wrong.
This is the world we live in.
You say, well, I don't want anybody to judge me.
There's only one way to live your life in such a way where nobody judges you.
You say, how can I do that?
Is it rebelling?
Is it living off some confined by myself, just out in the middle of nowhere?
I mean, you can do that if you want.
But to actually live a life of purpose, actually live a life of fulfillment and to
not constantly be judged by other people, it happens this way.
You judge yourself.
So before somebody else has to tell you, hey, don't do that, you tell yourself, don't
do that.
Before somebody else has to tell you, that was stupid.
You tell yourself, if I do that, that's going to be stupid.
For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged.
Hey, you young people, you teenagers, we just had this youth rally.
My parents are always telling me, I'm doing something wrong.
Well, if you start telling yourself, hey, that's wrong and I shouldn't do that, that's
not going to work out in my favor, your parents are going to stop.
In fact, you know what they're going to start saying?
They're going to start saying, wow, good job.
The only reason we have to be judged by others is because we fail to judge ourselves.
For if we judge ourselves, we should not be judged.
It's clear.
Go to 2 Corinthians chapter 13.
Isn't this common sense?
You know, the truth about common sense is this, that it's not very common.
2 Corinthians 13, you're there in 1 Corinthians.
Do me a favor, keep your place in 1 Corinthians or 2 Corinthians.
1 Corinthians, we're going to come back in that direction, so put a ribbon or a bookmark
or something, we're going to leave it, we're going to come back to it.
2 Corinthians chapter 13, verse number 5, 2 Corinthians 13, verse 5.
Just look at the words, examine yourselves.
Examine yourselves.
1 Corinthians 11, 28, but let a man examine himself.
1 Corinthians 11, 31, for if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged.
2 Corinthians 13, 5, examine yourselves.
This is a concept found throughout the Bible.
You don't have to turn here.
I'll read to you from 1 Timothy chapter 4.
2 Galatians chapter 6, if you would.
You're there in 2 Corinthians, just flip over to Galatians.
From 2 Corinthians to Galatians, while you turn there,
I'll read to you from 1 Timothy 4, 16.
Take heed unto thyself.
The word heed means to give careful attention to,
to put a lot of thought into, to take a lot of consideration of.
And the Bible over and over and over and over says,
stop thinking about the other person and start thinking about yourself.
Because at the end of the day, you are the only one that you can control,
and you're not even doing that.
Take heed unto thyself.
Give careful attention to yourself.
I realize that we live in 2024 America,
and we live in this distracted society,
and we live in a society where people don't want to take time to think and to ponder.
We don't want to take time to muse.
The word muse means to think and to consider, to meditate.
We live in an amused society, the opposite of musing.
We want to constantly be entertained, and there always needs to be sound,
and there always needs to be something.
We don't want to think. We don't like to think.
We'd rather always be watching something on TV or watching something on YouTube
or being distracted on social media or just have the radio on or have this.
But the Bible says that there should be times in your life where you take time to think,
to just examine yourself and consider yourself.
This is a question you often should ask yourself.
This is a question you should ask yourself,
and when your children are young, and maybe not even when they're so young,
but when your children are young, it might be a good thing to ask them as well is this.
How's your heart?
You've got to ask yourself, how's my heart?
Oftentimes, as a pastor, I find myself in very difficult situations
where I have to make choices and decisions and sometimes in the split of a moment,
and I often need to just kind of stop, just quiet the noise around me,
and ask myself, what am I feeling right now?
I know this is not something that people like to talk about, especially men.
Women seem to be, ladies seem to be more in tune with their emotions.
Men, they struggle with this, and I get it.
But sometimes, before you engage, before you begin a discussion,
before you begin some sort of conflict, before you start a conversation,
you should ask yourself, what am I feeling right now?
What am I feeling that is making me want to?
What am I feeling because we must take heed?
Here's a question, what am I feeling right now?
How do we develop self-awareness?
To be self-aware emotionally, you must examine yourself,
specifically your emotions.
You must examine your emotions.
You must ask yourself, what am I feeling right now?
It's so interesting to me.
Over 13 years of ministry, I have found that it's so rare for someone
to really understand their own emotions.
They understand what they did.
They understand the situation and how it played out.
But what were you feeling in that moment?
It's a question you ought to ask yourself.
I'm just telling you, you do whatever you want with it.
I'm just telling you, emotionally intelligent people are self-aware,
and they can stop in a moment.
Because here's the truth about emotions.
You feel them.
You don't necessarily understand them.
I mean, isn't it true?
I don't know.
I've only ever lived my own life.
I've never lived your life, so I don't know.
I don't know how you experience it,
but I can tell you how I experience it.
The moment you get the news, the moment you hear something,
the moment something becomes clear to you,
the moment something becomes aware to you,
don't you feel it?
I mean, I feel it coming up my hands and up my legs,
and I feel it just coming into my heart and into my mind.
And I feel it, whatever it is, whether it's fear,
whether it's anger, whether it's anxiety,
whether it's sadness, don't you just kind of feel it?
And the problem we have is that we feel it,
and then we let it control us.
But have you ever stopped to ask yourself,
what is this?
What is this that I'm feeling right now?
Because a self-aware individual is not afraid
to examine themselves, to look in the mirror and say,
what is it that I'm feeling right now?
And the truth is this,
that we don't want to examine ourselves
because we don't want to see the truth.
Galatians chapter six, are you there?
Let me give you the second step.
To be self-aware, you must examine yourself.
Number two, to examine yourself.
Okay, these are steps, this is a sequence,
so I hope you understand.
The step one, the goal is to be self-aware.
How do we do that?
Well, to be self-aware, you must examine yourself.
Do you understand that?
To be self-aware, you must examine yourself.
You need to look inside and examine yourself.
But that's not it.
Because remember, we learned in the insight
that we have this amazing ability to deceive ourselves.
So here's step number two.
To examine ourselves, we must not lie to ourselves.
To examine ourselves, specifically your emotions,
you must not lie to yourself
about what your emotions are leading you to do.
Galatians chapter six, look at verse three.
For if a man think himself to be something,
when he is nothing, look at the words,
he deceiveth himself.
Why considers not the beam in 909?
What is that?
You're deceiving yourself.
We examine ourselves in order to become self-aware,
but if we're gonna examine ourselves,
we must not lie to ourselves.
And please listen to me, please listen to me.
If you're going to develop any sort of leadership,
and leadership in general, you say, well, I'm not a leader.
Well, everybody must at least lead themselves.
Every leader needs to learn to lead themselves.
And even if you say, I'm not a leader, I'm a follower,
you at least need to learn,
you at least need to learn to lead yourself.
And here's a principle of self-leadership.
Don't lie to yourself,
even if the truth makes you feel bad about yourself.
You understand what I just said?
Everyone else is lying to you.
Why don't you just not lie to yourself?
Why don't you at least, even if you don't say it out loud,
even if you don't admit it to anybody,
even if you never breathe those words,
why don't you at least look in the mirror
and tell yourself, I will not lie to myself,
even if the truth makes me feel bad about myself.
Because if you're lying to yourself,
then there's no hope.
See, the truth is this,
emotions are affecting our judgment and decision-making.
Emotions are affecting our judgment and decision-making.
Remember last week's sermon?
Dumb emotions.
Dumb emotions make us do dumb things.
We were the masterminds behind the stupidest things we've done.
We were the masterminds behind the biggest regrets we have.
Emotions are affecting our judgment and decision-making
because we're not aware.
We're not aware of how they are affecting us.
There was a study done by teachers grading essays,
and what they did is they took the same essays
from the same children,
and they had very competent, equal-type teachers grade them.
But they waited.
They would have these teachers do a survey
as to whether they were having a good day or a bad day,
and when certain teachers identified
that they were having a bad day,
they had them grade these essays,
and when certain teachers said that they were having a good day,
they had them grade the same essays,
and there was a two-grade difference in the essays,
the same essays.
When a teacher was having a good day,
they got maybe an A or a B,
and when a teacher was having a bad day,
they got more like a C or a D.
And when teachers were asked,
do you think the mood you were in affected the grade that you gave,
and 90% of them said no.
90% said no.
I was in a good mood, but that had no effect on how I graded.
I was in a bad mood, but that had no effect on how I graded.
And the truth is this,
that emotions are affecting the way that we make decisions,
judgment and decision-making,
but we're not aware of it.
So not only do you need to ask this question,
what am I feeling right now?
You need to ask this question.
The follow-up question to what am I feeling,
the follow-up question to what am I feeling
is why am I feeling it?
What am I feeling right now?
Fear.
What am I feeling right now?
Anxiety.
Why am I feeling right now?
Anger.
What am I feeling right now?
Insecurity.
What am I feeling right now?
Okay, why though?
Why am I feeling it?
And then for some of us who really like to deceive ourselves,
we should add this little tagline to it.
Why am I feeling it?
No, no, really.
I'm feeling this, but really, why are you feeling that?
Why are you feeling it?
We should not lie to ourselves.
To examine yourself, specifically your emotions,
you must not lie to yourself
about what your emotions are leading you to do.
Because if you're lying to yourself,
then there just really is no hope.
Go to Proverbs, Proverbs chapter 21.
If you open up your Bible just right in the center,
you'll more than likely fall in the book of Psalms.
After Psalms, you have the book of Proverbs.
By the way, this is why we have to make sure
that we have systems in place in our lives
to have somebody speak truth into our lives.
That's why you need a church.
That's why you need a pastor.
That's why you need a Bible.
You know what the Bible says?
The Bible says in the book of James,
I won't have you turn there.
The Bible says, the Bible calls itself a mirror.
The perfect law of liberty,
it's like this glass that we look into
and we can see ourselves.
And you have to be able to look at the Bible
and identify yourself in the Bible.
Look, stop coming to church and saying,
that was a really good sermon for my wife.
Pastor, you know, I had emotional time.
That was a really good sermon for my wife.
My brother really needs that sermon.
I'll have to tell you what.
Why don't you start looking
in the perfect law of liberty
and asking the Holy Spirit to help you identify,
what do I need?
Where's the beam in my eye that I'm not considering,
that I'm not seeing?
So number one, to be self-aware,
you must examine yourself.
Number two, to examine yourself,
you must not lie to yourself.
Look, that is just a rule of life.
And again, you say, I'm not gonna admit it to anybody.
I'm never gonna say it.
I'm not going to, okay, whatever.
But at least don't lie to yourself.
At least don't lie to yourself.
Because when you get to the point
where you're lying to yourself,
and when you get to the point
where you're believing your own lies,
that's where it's like narcissism,
you know, psychopathy, sociopathy.
I mean, that's where it's like, that's crazy.
It's one thing to lie to everybody else.
It's another thing to lie to yourself.
When you lie to yourself
and you're believing your own lies,
then we've crossed a line.
I mean, that's like, you know,
that's just insanity.
So why don't you just make a rule in your life,
I won't lie to myself.
I won't lie to myself, even if the truth
makes me feel bad about myself.
Number three, to not lie to yourself.
Because that's the next question, right?
Okay, but how do I not lie to myself?
To not lie to yourself,
and right now we're talking about emotional intelligence,
about why you are truly taking certain actions
or doing certain things.
To not lie to yourself,
you must consider that you may be wrong.
To not lie to yourself,
you must consider that you may be wrong.
Or that your emotions are leading you in the wrong way,
that your emotions are leading you astray.
Proverbs 21, are you there?
Look at verse two.
Proverbs 21, two.
Every way of a man is right in his own eyes.
People usually think this way.
Every way of a man is right in his own eyes.
But the Lord pondereth the hearts.
Every way of a man is right in his own eyes.
But you know who knows who actually is right?
The Lord.
The Lord knows what's in your hearts.
But every way of a man is right in his own eyes.
Proverbs 14, 12.
If you're there in Proverbs 21, go to Proverbs 14, 12.
Look at it, Proverbs 14, 12.
There is a way which seemeth right unto a man.
See, all of this works together.
We are not self-aware
because we are not examining ourselves.
We are not examining ourselves
because we don't want to see what we might see
if we actually examine ourselves.
And we want to lie to ourselves.
And we don't not lie to ourselves
because we don't ever really consider
that maybe, just maybe, you're wrong.
It's always their fault.
But they have a moat and you have a beep.
Yeah, no, no, I, what, beam, what beam?
I don't know what you're talking about, beam.
I mean, you're hitting all of us
with the beam as you're walking by.
To not lie to yourself,
you must consider that maybe you're wrong.
That maybe you could be wrong.
Because there is a way which seemeth right unto a man.
But listen to me and listen to me very carefully.
Just because you think you're right does not make it so.
And just because you think you're right
does not mean that you won't suffer the consequences,
does not mean that you won't hurt the people around you,
does not mean that the God of the universe
is going to change things
to make it all work out for you.
Because, Proverbs 14, 12,
there is a way which seemeth right unto a man.
Look at it, look at it.
But the end thereof are the ways of death.
People usually think they're right.
The problem is when you think you're right
and you're actually wrong.
So to not lie to yourself, to not lie to yourself.
Look, I'm not saying you're wrong.
Pastors tell me I'm wrong all the time.
I didn't say that, what I'm saying is this,
have you ever considered that maybe you're wrong?
Have you ever considered
that you're not right about everything?
Have you ever considered that maybe you being right
about everything all the time
is a lie that you're telling yourself?
And to not lie to yourself,
you must consider that you may be wrong
because every way of man is right in his own eyes,
but the Lord pondereth the hearts
and there is a way which seemeth right unto a man,
but the end thereof are the ways of death.
You don't have to turn here,
I'll just read this for you, Jeremiah 17, nine.
You say, well, why can't I trust myself?
Here's why, people always say,
it always makes me kind of chuckle.
I'm just gonna follow my heart.
I just know I'm right about this.
Well, here's a verse for you.
The heart is deceitful above all things
and desperately wicked, who can know it?
Do me a favor, never follow your heart.
The heart is deceitful and who is it deceiving?
You!
And my heart is deceiving me.
So to not lie to yourself,
you must consider that you may be wrong.
Study the book of Judges in the Bible.
You know what the book of Judges is?
The book of Judges is the most messed up book
in the Bible.
I mean, I'm talking about just,
when you're looking at stories in the Bible,
you want some stories in the Bible
that are just messed up?
I mean, the book of Judges, it's like,
I mean, it's like a docudrama series.
I mean, people are getting chopped up
and all sorts of just weird,
I mean, just really odd things, crazy things.
The book of Judges, it's a crazy book.
I mean, if you wanna be entertained,
read the book of Judges.
You don't have to watch Dateline or whatever.
You know what the theme of the book of Judges is, though?
The craziest book in the Bible!
You know what the theme is?
There was no king in Israel,
meaning there was no judge, there was no ruler,
there was nobody who was giving judgment,
and every man did that which was right in his own eyes.
God says, let me show you what happens
when every man does that which is right
in his own eyes.
Craziness, chaos, it doesn't work, why?
Because you're not always right,
and I'm not always right.
And to not lie to ourselves,
we should consider that maybe we're wrong.
So remember, these are steps.
When you consider that you may be wrong,
so that you don't lie to yourself,
and that leads you to truly examining yourself,
then you will become self-aware.
Then you will be emotionally intelligent.
You understand what I just said to you?
When you consider that you may be wrong,
so that you don't lie to yourself,
how do I keep from lying to myself?
Here's how I keep from lying to myself.
I consider the fact that maybe I can't believe myself,
maybe I'm wrong.
So when you start here, maybe I'm wrong,
and that's gonna make sure I don't lie to myself,
and then I'm gonna truly examine myself
and really ask the questions, what am I feeling
and why am I feeling it, and really, really,
what's the real reason?
I'm never gonna say this to pastor,
I'm never gonna say this to my husband,
I'm never gonna say this to my wife,
I'm never gonna say this to anybody,
but can you at least tell yourself?
When you consider that you may be wrong,
so that you don't lie to yourself,
and that leads you to truly examine yourself,
then you will be, then you will be self-aware.
Keep your place in Proverbs,
we're gonna come right back to it,
go to Romans chapter 12.
Did you keep your place in 1 Corinthians?
Keep your place in Proverbs, just put a finger there.
We're gonna come back to it.
If you kept your place in 1 Corinthians,
from 1 Corinthians you go backwards,
you have the book of Romans, Romans chapter number 12,
or 2 Corinthians Romans, listen, listen to me,
what I'm telling you right now,
it will help your marriage.
It will help your child rearing.
It will help you at work.
It will help you in church.
It will help you in every area of life.
To be self-aware you must examine yourself.
To examine yourself you must not lie to yourself.
To not lie to yourself you must consider
that you may be wrong.
And when you consider that you may be wrong,
so that you don't lie to yourself,
so that you can examine yourself truly,
that will lead you to becoming a mature,
self-aware individual.
Let me just give you a little bonus here
on our steps here.
Pride is the biggest hindrance to self-awareness.
I mean I think I should be clear,
it's coming up in the passages we're reading.
But pride, there's all sorts of unhealthy characteristics
and attributes, pride is the biggest hindrance
to self-awareness.
People who live their lives thinking
that they're never wrong about anything,
that's dangerous.
Pride, look at Romans 12 and verse three.
For I say, through the grace given unto me
to every man that is among you,
look at it, underline it if you need to,
not to think of himself more highly
than he ought to think.
Look at these words though.
This is what I mean, the Bible is the greatest,
you say, I like psychology,
the Bible's the greatest psychology book.
I'm not even saying I agree with secular psychology,
but I agree with the psychology
that comes out of this book.
Not to think of himself more highly
than he ought to think, here's the words,
but think soberly.
Think seriously.
Think non-exaggeratedly.
Think in reality.
When I read those words,
not to think of himself more highly
than he ought to think,
but to think himself soberly,
the word sober means serious.
The words that I think is this,
have you ever had somebody say to you,
like you said something,
and then someone's response to you,
what you said was kind of ridiculous?
And maybe even as the words came out of your mouth,
you knew they were ridiculous?
But because you have low emotional intelligence,
you're never gonna, you're just gonna double down on it,
and you're like, no, really, no, really?
And you said something, and it's kind of ridiculous,
and the person says to you, come on, man, seriously?
I mean, am I the only one?
You said something, and somebody said, seriously?
Come on, seriously?
That's what he's saying, but to think soberly.
You know what you and I need to do?
Before it comes out of our mouths,
we need to be asking ourselves, come on, man, seriously?
I don't like people saying, come on, man, seriously to me.
Well, then you say it to yourself.
Before it comes out of your stinking mouth.
You take a moment to be self-aware,
and you ask yourself, what am I feeling,
and why am I feeling it, and what am I thinking,
and where am I deceiving myself?
And then you say, well, here's what I think,
and then you tell yourself, come on, man, seriously?
Pride is the biggest hindrance to self-awareness.
For I say through the grace given unto me
to every man that is among you,
not to think himself more highly than he ought to think,
but to think soberly,
according as God has dealt to every man
the measure of faith.
They did a study of individuals
in classrooms and workplaces.
They asked them anonymously
whether they thought they were more intelligent
and whether they thought they were
more emotionally intelligent than their peers.
80% of people said that they were more intelligent
and more emotionally intelligent
than their peers in their classrooms
and their work environment.
Now, here's the thing about math,
is that 80% of people can't be smarter
than 80% of people.
That doesn't work.
What that tells us is this,
that most people just think they're smarter,
they've got the answer.
In fact, the funny thing is that
when you actually find someone
who actually has some components
of self-awareness and emotional intelligence,
they understand that the more they learn
about emotional intelligence,
the more they have to learn.
The more they read about the Bible,
they realize there's more to learn.
The more they learn about any area of life,
what I found is the people who know the most
of any area of life are not promoting that,
I'm the expert, I know everything about this.
And usually the person's like,
I know everything about,
has low emotional intelligence.
Because we tend to think more highly of ourselves
than we ought to think.
But you should think to yourself soberly.
Come on, man, seriously.
You can't seriously believe that.
You don't really think that.
I don't like people saying that to me.
Pastor, I don't like you saying that to me.
Okay, then you start saying it to yourself.
That's what an emotionally intelligent individual does.
And to me, it's amazing,
because sometimes I watch people,
and sometimes I even watch, I'll be honest with you,
sometimes I even watch preachers.
And they have this air like,
I'm right about everything!
And I think to myself, man,
your life experience must be a different experience
than the life I live.
And I can understand that maybe there is
a benefit to that.
Every once in a while, that's gonna work out.
Maybe more often than not,
that's gonna work out to your favor,
where you just have this overconfidence,
just I do everything right.
But look, every once in a while,
that's gonna hurt you real bad.
You don't feel like you need to ask anyone,
you don't feel like you need any counsel from anybody,
you don't think, this thought never crosses your mind.
Maybe, just maybe,
I'm wrong about this.
A self-aware person says,
here's what I think, here's what I believe,
here's what I thought about this,
I prayed about it, I've asked counsel about it,
I've searched the scriptures, here's what I think.
But they always consider the fact that I'm not God,
and maybe, just maybe, I'm wrong here.
And maybe, just maybe,
I should look in the mirror of God's word,
and not lie to myself,
even if the truth makes me feel bad about myself.
Some of you parents need to stop lying to yourself
about your kids.
Well, if I look at my kids,
and actually look at it, and judge it in a way,
I'm gonna feel bad.
The only way you can help them,
is if you start actually judging,
and looking at things in reality.
It's the only way to help anybody.
The only way to influence anybody,
in a positive way.
Go to Mark, chapter number three, if you would.
Mark, chapter number three.
I said, number one, we began by getting insight
into self-awareness, what was it?
We have an amazing ability to deceive ourselves.
We often believe that we're not the problem,
and the problem is outside of us.
We should first focus on ourselves,
because before we focus on others, and listen,
I'm not saying that the problem's not outside of you.
Maybe there is a problem outside of you.
But the first step is look at yourself.
We will only be able to help others,
when we first help ourselves.
Then we talk about getting some instructions
for self-awareness, how do you develop it?
Well, to be self-aware, you must examine yourself.
To examine yourself, you must not lie to yourself.
To not lie to yourself, you must consider
that maybe you're wrong,
and when you consider that maybe you're wrong,
so that you can make sure you're not lying to yourself,
and that leads you to truly examining yourself,
you will become self-aware.
Now that's not all emotional intelligence,
because next week we're gonna talk
about awareness of others.
And next, the week after that,
we're gonna talk about awareness of context.
And then we're gonna talk about social skills,
and we're gonna talk about conflict resolution,
and all these things.
But the point is this, you must begin with yourself.
So number three, quickly.
Let's talk about getting in tune with self-awareness.
Getting in tune with self-awareness.
Remember the excerpt I gave you
from emotional intelligent leadership?
Here's the definition for self-awareness.
Emotional self-perception is about describing
and naming and understanding your emotions.
Emotionally intelligent leaders are aware
of how situations influence emotions,
and how emotions affect interactions with others.
Someone who's emotionally intelligent understands,
look, I'm telling you, in my life,
I'm talking about Pastor Roger Jimenez,
who's read several emotional intelligent-type books,
who's preaching a sermon series on emotions.
You know that I, in my life, I,
and I'm not gonna give you details, all right?
You ask my wife, she'll let you know it's all.
But there are certain times of the week, even,
where I tell her, I have to create systems,
I have to create certain things.
There's just certain individuals I can't talk to.
Not on this day, not before this event.
I just, I can't talk to that person.
I can't be around that.
I just, because I know how they're going to affect me.
You understand what I'm saying to you?
An emotionally intelligent person looks ahead and says,
if I have that conversation, if I see that person,
if they say that to me, one more time.
So then we create systems and we lead our lives
in such a way where I'm just not going
to be around that person.
I'm just not gonna open that email right now.
I don't need to open that email
before Sunday morning, right before I preach.
I'll, you know, I'll do it, whatever.
I'll do it later.
An emotionally intelligent person not only describes names
and understands the emotions that they have,
but they understand and they are aware
of how situations influence their emotions
and how emotions affect interactions.
So let's look at Jesus in tune with his emotions.
Go to Mark chapter three, real quickly.
We're gonna be done here in like five minutes, okay?
Just, we'll do it quickly.
Mark chapter three, verse five.
Nothing wrong with emotions.
You know, here are the two, probably the two things
that deal with emotional intelligence the most,
pride, where we talked about that.
But here's the other one, anger.
Anger is the most out of control emotion.
I did a whole sermon series on anger management.
And we'll talk about anger in the sermon series.
But anger is probably the most difficult
of all the emotions to control.
But there's nothing wrong with being angry.
You know the Bible says, be ye angry and sin not.
Nothing wrong with being angry.
The problem is when anger controls you
and causes you to sin.
Mark chapter three and verse five says this.
And when he, this is Jesus,
looked round about them with anger.
So Jesus himself was angry at times.
He was sinless, he was perfect.
He never sinned, he was emotionally intelligent.
Nothing wrong with anger.
Go to John chapter two.
John chapter two, you're there in Mark, Luke, then John.
John chapter two, look at this.
John chapter two, verse 13.
John 2, 13.
And the Jews' Passover was at hand
and Jesus went up to Jerusalem, verse 14,
and found in the temple those that sold.
And found in the temple those that sold
oxen and sheep and doves
and the changers of money sitting
and when he made a scourge of small corn.
I want you to notice that.
When he made a scourge of small corn.
So Jesus shows up the temple
and the Bible says he found.
He did not plan.
He just came across this situation
where he found in the temple
those that sold oxen and sheep and doves
and changers of money sitting.
This angered him.
And then the Bible says in verse 15
that he just flipped a lid.
No.
Now you might read this and think that
because look at verse 15.
And when he had made a scourge of small quartz,
he drove them all out of the temple
and the sheep and the oxen
and poured out the changers money
and overthrew the tables.
I mean like I would have loved to see this.
Jesus just walks in the temple
with a scourge of small quartz.
He walks in the temple
with a scourge of small quartz.
There's all these people doing business
spying and selling oxen and sheep and doves.
And the Bible says he drove.
You know he drove like you drive cattle,
like you drive a horse.
He drove them all out.
He's hitting them with the scourge.
He's whipping them out of the temple.
And the Bible says he poured out the changers money.
So they've got their little register there with their money.
He's taking the money.
I mean the biggest way to create chaos
in the middle of a group of people
is to start throwing money around.
I mean he's throwing money.
The Bible says he overthrew the tables.
This is like a wrestling skit
at the Next Generation Youth Rally.
I mean he's overthrowing tables.
He's throwing money.
He's scourging.
And people might have looked at him and been like,
whoa, this guy's unhinged.
But wait a minute, wait a minute.
Verse 15, the Bible says,
and when he had made a scourge of small cords.
You know what that tells us?
That tells us that Jesus did not walk in,
get angry, just like, argh!
He walked in, looked at the situation,
and I would imagine that maybe
something like this happened.
What am I feeling right now?
Why am I feeling?
And then he went off and the Bible tells us
he made a scourge of small cords.
I don't know how long that took or the process,
but I would imagine that he sat somewhere,
gathered some materials,
he said, I'm gonna make a scourge,
gathered some materials and began to make this scourge.
And the whole time he's making this scourge,
he's thinking, he's contemplating,
he's asking himself, what should I do?
How should I do it?
To what degree?
He made his decision and then he drove them
all out of the temple and the sheep and the oxen
and poured out the changers of money
and overthrew the tables.
This is why I tell you, Jesus was better at this
and understood this better than anyone.
Even the philosophy of this world.
Here's a quote from Aristotle.
Aristotle's obviously a Greek philosopher, not saved,
but just because he's a Greek philosopher
doesn't mean he's wrong about everything.
Here's a quote from Aristotle, here's what he said.
Anybody can become angry, that is easy,
but to be angry with the right person
and to the right degree and at the right time
and for the right purpose and in the right way,
that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.
You know what we see Jesus here doing?
He's angry with the right person, to the right degree,
at the right time, for the right purpose,
in the right way.
He's emotionally intelligent.
Go to Proverbs chapter 14, we'll finish this off.
How do you get in tune with your emotions?
Here's how you do it, four steps, quickly.
Recognize, identify your emotions.
Stop for a moment and recognize it.
When you start feeling that, I don't know
how you guys feel, I'm just telling you how I feel.
I know the moment it happens, the moment it clicks
in my mind and I realize this person's disrespecting me
or I realize this person's saying this
or the person's doing that or this is what happened
and I start feeling it, I stop.
I try to stop and recognize, identify your emotions.
What am I feeling right now?
First recognize, then realize.
What does that mean?
Understand your emotions.
Not only recognize them, I'm feeling this way, but why?
What am I feeling and why am I feeling it?
Then reveal or express your emotions
in an appropriate way.
Maybe the appropriate response is anger,
but make sure it's to the right person
in the right degree at the right time
with the right purpose, the right way.
Do you understand what I'm saying to you?
And then regulate, control your emotions.
Control your emotions.
If you do not control your emotions,
your emotions will control you.
Jesus was not being controlled
by his emotions in this story.
He was completely in control of his emotions.
He knew exactly what he was doing
and he did nothing wrong
when he was angry with the right person
in the right degree at the right time
with the right purpose and the right way.
What you and I need to start doing
when we start feeling these emotions,
start feeling them, ah.
We need to recognize and then realize.
I like to think of it this way.
You bring all that in.
You capture it, this little ball of emotion.
You look at it and ask yourself, what is this?
And why is this?
And then you can release it in an appropriate way.
That's emotional intelligence.
You regulate it.
You control it.
You don't allow it to control you.
Proverbs 14 verse eight, we'll be done.
Proverbs 14 verse eight, look at it.
The wisdom of the prudent.
Do you know what it means to be prudent?
Here's the definition of prudent.
Acting with or showing care and thought for the future.
The wisdom of the prudent.
Acting with or showing care and thought for the future.
A prudent individual thinks,
how is this going to affect the future?
How is this going to affect my wife?
How is this going to affect my husband?
How is this going to affect my children?
As a pastor, I have to think myself.
How is this going to affect our congregation?
How is this going to affect the ministry?
How is this going to affect?
Here's what the Bible says.
The wisdom of the prudent, look at it, look at it,
is to understand his way.
That's emotional intelligence.
When you find someone that's prudent,
you know what wisdom they have
is that they understand themselves.
They understand his way.
Don't miss it, I couldn't make,
look, sometimes I look up these verses
and I just have to laugh because I think to myself,
I couldn't make this up if I tried.
The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way.
That's emotional intelligence.
But the folly of fools is deceit.
Because you know what's the opposite
of being emotionally aware of yourself
is lying to yourself, deceiving yourself,
telling yourself, I'm not the problem.
The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way.
But the folly of fools is deceit.
How do we develop our emotional intelligence?
We must begin here, we must begin here.
Awareness of self.
We must learn to recognize and regulate our own emotions.
We must ask the question, what am I feeling?
Why am I feeling it?
Let me capture it.
Let me examine it, let me analyze it,
let me label it, and then let me express it
in a way that is appropriate and just.
Because if we judge ourselves, we will not be judged.
Let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer.
Heavenly Father.