Welcome to Anger Baptist Church to get started.
For our first song this morning, we have a handout.
Go tell it on the mountain.
So if you need a handout, just raise your hand.
Brother Eric's got those.
Tell it on the mountain in the handout.
Tell it on the mountain.
Just so that you're aware, after that third verse,
we do the chorus, as it were, one more time,
the go tell it on the mountain, even after that third verse.
So we'll start there right on the first.
♪ Go tell it on the mountain ♪
♪ Over the hills and everywhere ♪
♪ Go tell it on the mountain ♪
With me, Heavenly Father, we thank you for this day,
for another opportunity to gather together.
We just thank you again for the season, for the holiday,
really for our entire lives, Lord,
but just for this one time that we've set aside
to really take the time to slow down,
to think of the sacrifice of your son and to honor him.
I pray that that would not just be for a season,
but that we would just carry that with us
into next year and for the rest of our lives.
For the immediate, Lord, I pray that the service
would be done decently and in order,
that you would open our ears to the message
and fill Pastor Oz with your spirit.
These things we pray in Jesus' name, amen.
For our next hymn in your hymnal,
423 Joy to the World.
423, 4-2-3, Joy to the World.
423 there on the first.
Joy to the World.
You raise your hand.
Very front end, we have our Bible memory passage
of the week, Genesis chapter number one, verse 27,
getting towards the end here of this chapter.
On the inside, we have our service times
listed Sunday morning at 10.30, Sunday evening at 4.30,
and our Wednesday Bible study at 7 o'clock.
Below that, we have our soul winning times listed there,
Sundays and Wednesdays.
Wednesdays, they meet at the church first, Brother Cameron?
Yes, okay, it does.
But Saturday, starting next Saturday,
we're gonna start meeting on location at 10 a.m.
So usually on Fridays, Brother Eric plans
on just sending the address
for those who plan on showing up on Saturdays,
and that should give us extra time to go out soul winning
and also be done a little bit earlier in the day.
So the soul winning rally went absolutely great this year,
but we're planning on putting even more time
out soul winning into our Saturdays.
So we're looking forward to that.
Below we have our year to date statistics for soul winning.
There's still time to add to those numbers.
So keep working hard all the way through the year.
We're at 2259 for the year, which has just been phenomenal.
Upcoming events this Wednesday is our New Year's Eve party,
and we're gonna have a men's preaching night.
There's a signup sheet in the back
if you'd like to preach for that.
You just have to wear a shirt and tie,
and the sermons will be 15 minutes long.
So you're more than welcome to sign up for that.
Afterwards, we'll have food catered, delivered,
and fellowship till midnight or however long
you wanna stay for that evening.
So it should be a great time.
Then our first soul-winning marathon of the year
is going to be in January.
January 31st, we're going to go to Lawton, Oklahoma.
Last month, we bought some new maps for our church.
So we have the state of Oklahoma there,
and we really wanna start prioritizing
hitting all of the towns, cities, if you will, in Oklahoma
that have at least a thousand or more people.
And so we really wanna start hitting that hard in 2026.
And of course, in the future as well,
we'd like to do missions and church plants, Lord willing.
So that's what that map is for over there.
So that's what we got going for January.
And then on the right, there is our online visitor card
there as well as our online giving information
and our prayer list, which if you have any requests,
you could always email the church and I'll update that for you.
But that's gonna be it for announcements this morning.
We'll go ahead and go to our third song together.
Our third song will be 422, Thou Didst Leave Thy Throne.
422, 422, Thou Didst Leave Thy Throne.
422 there on the first.
♪ Thou didst leave thy throne and thy kingly crown ♪
♪ When thou camest to earth for me ♪
♪ But in Bethlehem's home was there found no room ♪
♪ For thy holy nativity ♪
♪ O come to my old jail ♪
♪ Sing, worship the song ♪
♪ Thou son sent thee and thy coming home ♪
♪ Thy sovereign plates are being passed ♪
Turn if you would to Colossians chapter three.
- Colossians chapter number three.
- Chapter three, if ye then be risen with Christ,
seek those things which are above,
which where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.
Set your affection on things above,
not on things on the earth.
For ye are dead and your life is hid with Christ and God.
When Christ who is our life shall appear,
then shall ye also appear with him in glory.
Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth,
fornication, uncleanliness, inordinate affection,
evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry.
For which things sake the wrath of God
cometh on the children of disobedience,
in the which ye also walked in some time
when ye lived in them.
But now ye also put off all these,
anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy,
filthy communication out of your mouth,
lying not one to another,
seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds.
And I put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge,
after the image of him that created him,
where there is neither Greek nor Jew,
circumcision nor uncircumcision,
barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free,
but Christ is all and in all.
But on therefore is the elect of God,
holy and beloved, vows of mercy, kindness,
humbleness of mind, meekness, long-suffering,
forbearing one another and forgiving one another.
If any man have a quarrel against any,
even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
And above all things, put on charity,
which is the bond of perfectness,
and let the peace of God rule in your hearts,
to the which also ye are called in one body,
and be ye thankful.
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom,
teaching and admonishing one another
in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs,
singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord,
and whatsoever ye do in word or deed,
do all in the name of the Lord Jesus,
giving thanks to God and the Father by him.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands,
as it is fit in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
Children, obey your parents in all things,
for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
Fathers, provoke not your children to anger,
lest they be discouraged.
Servants, obey in all things your masters
according to the flesh,
not with eye service, as men pleasers,
but in singleness of heart, fearing God.
And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily as to the Lord,
and not to undemand, knowing that of the Lord
ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance
for ye serve the Lord Jesus, the Lord Christ.
That he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong
which he hath done, and there is no respect of persons.
Let's pray.
Gracious Lord, thankful for the beautiful weather
that we've had lately.
Thankful to be gathered in your house.
Pray Lord that you just help us to focus
on the preaching of your word,
and not the many points that are meant for us.
Pray Lord that you fill us with your spirit.
Jesus name we pray, amen.
- Men, we're in Colossians chapter three,
and let's start reading in verse 18.
The Bible says, wives, submit yourselves
unto your own husbands as it is fit in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives and be not bitter against them.
Children, obey your parents in all things,
for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
So here in Colossians three,
we get these short summary statements
as to what the main focus of each person
in the family unit should be really working on.
For wives, it's that they submit to their husbands.
For husbands, it's that they love their wives.
For children, it's that they obey their parents.
And what I really want to focus on
is that charge to the husbands,
that the main thing husbands should be working on
in their family unit is that they should be loving
their wives.
And also this charge towards men is not optional.
This is a command of God here.
And just ones and tons and tons of marriage advice.
And I think that's because God knows this
that everyone is different.
And you really have to get to know your wife
and you need to become the expert in your own marriage.
And there is no book you could read.
There's no sermon you could listen to
that is just gonna be the one-shot kill
for your marriage, if you will.
Everyone's different.
Look at 1 Peter 3, verse seven.
It says, "Likewise the husbands,"
notice this, "dwell with them according to knowledge,
giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel
and being heirs together of the grace of life
that your prayers be not hindered."
Notice the Bible says that husbands
are supposed to dwell with their wives according to knowledge,
meaning that you have to, over time, get to know your wife
and learn the ways that she feels loved
and learn the things that she really doesn't like
or the things that make her tick.
And again, this is different for every single person.
Every marriage is different.
In some marriages, the husband's gonna be the needier person
and he's gonna need more time spent
and he's gonna need more support.
In other marriages, the wife is gonna be
the more needier person.
And here's the thing, only you know that about your marriage,
but you have to get to know your wife.
This is why often the first year of marriage
or the first two years of marriage
can often be the most difficult years of marriage.
And I'll just be honest with you, for me and my wife,
our first year of marriage was the most difficult.
This is why people say, sweeter as the years go by,
hopefully because you're actually getting
to know your wife more.
You're dwelling with them according to knowledge.
And I'll tell you what, for me and my wife,
it truly is sweeter as the years go by.
Everyone has that honeymoon phase, right?
And here's the thing, the honeymoon phase
is not a test of the strength of your marriage
because everything is easy.
She sneezes and it's cute.
She likes the way he leaves his clothes on the floor.
It's so adorable to her.
Just everything you guys do, you love about each other.
You wanna be spending every waking second
of every day together.
And for a lot of people, that honeymoon phase
could last a few months.
Maybe it could even last a few years,
but there's gonna come a point
where you realize I married a sinner
and the wife is gonna realize,
hey, there's some things that annoy me about my husband
and vice versa.
And you know what, over time though,
when you're dwelling with them according to knowledge,
it actually can be sweeter as the years go by.
Now there's this really famous book
called "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.
Who's ever read this book?
Has anyone read this book?
Okay, a few people.
I read this this year and I think it was a pretty good book.
And it really highlights this idea of the fact
that everyone is different
and everyone expresses love in different ways
and everyone feels loved in different ways.
So I just kind of want to go
through some of the different categories
that this author found.
The first one is words of affirmation.
Go to Song of Solomon chapter four.
Words of affirmation.
Words of affirmation is expressing love
through verbal compliments, encouragement,
praise or kind words.
Now, my belief is when it comes to the five love languages
that obviously everyone likes all of these categories
to some extent, right?
It's not like there's a wife that exists in this world
that is gonna be offended or not like it
when the husband says, "You're beautiful.
"You're just so beautiful.
"You're so attractive."
No woman is gonna dislike that.
But for some women, like that's their main thing
that they need from their husbands
is to constantly have words of affirmation,
being told that they're beautiful,
being told that you like their cooking,
being told that you're just happy
that you married that person.
Ladies like this stuff.
Look at Song of Solomon four, verse one.
Notice what it says.
"Behold, thou art fair, my love.
"Behold, thou art fair."
See, ladies like to hear that they are beautiful.
This is just one of the things
that's most important to women.
And so, especially if it's a woman
who really values these words of affirmation,
you know, how could you as a husband
dwell with your wife according to knowledge?
You need to express those words of affirmation.
And here's the thing, I think a lot of ladies
don't realize this, that oftentimes guys,
we have all these thoughts, we're just not very good
at communicating them all the time.
And so, husbands, you know, of course,
you find your wife beautiful, you married her,
but do you tell her that?
Do you express that to her?
Do you tell her, hey, thou art fair, you are beautiful,
I love you, notice, thou has doves eyes within thy locks,
thy hair is as a flock of goats.
Beautiful, you know, pick up lines here, right?
That appear from Mount Gilead.
So notice he's complimenting her beauty in general.
He's complimenting her eyes.
He's complimenting her hair.
Let's keep going.
Thy teeth are like a flock of sheep that are even shorn,
which came up from the washing,
whereof everyone bare twins and none is barren among them.
You know, compliment every part of her body
is what this husband is doing here.
Thy lips are like a thread of scarlet
and thy speech is comely.
Thy temples are like a piece of pomegranate
within thy locks.
Thy neck is like the tower of David,
builded for an armory,
whereon there hang a thousand bucklers,
all shields of mighty men.
Thy two breasts are like two young rows
that are twins which feed among the lilies.
So notice, you know, this wife of Solomon's here,
she must really value these words of affirmation
because he's just telling her every single part of her
that he likes.
You're just beautiful in general.
Your eyes, your hair, your neck, your teeth, your breasts.
He just likes every part of her
and he actually expresses that to her.
That's him dwelling with his wife
according to knowledge, realizing,
"Hey, this is something that my wife really values."
And so he's just writing this love song.
You know, maybe you got to write your wife
like a poetic note about, you know,
David's mighty man or something.
Don't do that, all right?
That's probably not what she's into.
But you get the point.
Compliment her, tell her you love her,
tell her she's beautiful.
Go to Ephesians chapter number five.
Ephesians chapter number five.
And of course, with words of affirmation,
like I said, it doesn't have to be just her looks.
It could be the things that she works on in life
that she puts time and effort and energy into.
She wants to hear that you like her cooking.
She wants to hear that you're pleased
with how you're taking care of the children,
how the house is, and all these things
that she's working really hard on.
And of course, Proverbs 31 talks about
let her works praise her in the gates.
If you want those compliments from your husband,
well, work hard on the house, work hard in the kitchen,
work hard on these things.
And then of course, he should be reciprocating
by showing that words of affirmation.
Here's another one, acts of service.
Showing love by doing helpful things for the other person,
easing their burdens.
For a lot of people, the way that they really feel loved
is by doing acts of service for them.
You know, helping them up when they're having a hard time.
Look at Ephesians 5 verse 25.
Husbands love your wives,
even as Christ also loved the church.
Notice, "And gave himself for it."
What is the love that the Lord Jesus Christ
had for the church?
It was a sacrificial love.
He was doing things for the church.
He sacrificed his body for the church.
He served the church.
And that was Christ showing love to the church.
In the same way, for a lot of wives,
they want those acts of service to show that you love them.
And you know, especially during times like pregnancy,
during times like postpartum,
where you cannot just expect your wife
to be the exact same person as she is
when she's not in that state.
And of course, I believe that the wife was created
to be the help meet for her husband.
That's what the Bible says.
But that does not mean that we as husbands
can never help our wives.
You know what, you should help your wife.
And of course, it should be a goodwill offering
of your own heart.
It shouldn't be like you come home from work
and you have this expectation of doing all these things.
But you know what, an act of service
is something that's done willingly out of the heart.
And you know what, your wife can feel love
through those acts of service.
So you know, there's times where my wife is sick,
where she's just had a really hard day with the kids
and I just make dinner and she doesn't tell me
like thou shalt make dinner, but I just do this
because I love her and I want to do that act of service
for her and it makes her feel appreciated.
Go to Genesis chapter 24.
Here's another one, receiving gifts,
demonstrating love through thoughtful gifts
that show you've been paying attention to what they like.
So again, it's not like there's any one of these categories
that someone just despises.
Obviously everyone to some extent
is gonna like these things, but for a lot of people,
it's that thoughtfulness that really makes them feel loved
when you're giving them this gift.
People read this book and sometimes get the wrong idea
that, oh, they just want you to spend money on them.
It's about the price tag, but no, it's saying like,
hey, it's about that you're paying attention
to what that person values, what that person likes.
It does not have to be a big ticket item,
but a lot of people just want to be made to feel
like you have been thinking about them.
So it's like, hey, you go on a business trip,
you go to a different city,
and you bring back something from that trip
for your wife or your family,
that could often make them feel very loved.
Genesis 24, look at verse 53.
This is Isaac's servant kind of sealing the marriage deal
for Isaac and Rebecca.
It says in verse 53,
"And the servant brought forth jewels of silver
and jewels of gold and raiment and gave them to Rebecca.
He gave also to her brother
and to her mother precious things."
You know, Rebecca did end up marrying Isaac
and it probably helps that the servant brought
all these jewels of silver, jewels of gold and raiment
and all these precious things to her and to her family.
You know, that's gonna sweep a girl off of her feet.
And obviously in our culture, we buy wedding rings,
we buy engagement rings and we have this culture
where to get a girl to marry you, we do what?
We buy her a gift.
But for a lot of people, it kind of stops right there.
You just, you bought that gift at one time
and then you're just done.
But a lot of women, a lot of wives want to feel
that love expressed by continuously giving gifts.
And that's something that we should work on.
And look, I'm not saying you gotta go break the bank
and you gotta go into debt
and you gotta go into credit card debt
and you gotta go buy a $25,000 wedding ring
or something like that.
But you know what?
You should express thoughtfulness, care, love
by giving gifts to your wife.
Go to Genesis 26.
Here's another one.
Quality time, giving undivided attention
and shared experiences to make the person feel valued.
This is something that I think is probably common
for a lot of wives in our culture here
that are state home mothers, that are state home wives,
when their interaction on a day-to-day basis
is with toddlers and children.
And a lot of times I know that my wife
is just craving an adult, intelligent conversation.
You know, she wants to be around other adults
and actually have a good conversation
and just have some fun, spend time with each other.
Look at Genesis 26 verse six.
And Isaac dwelt in Gerar,
and the men of the place asked him of his wife,
and he said, "She is my sister."
For he feared to say, "She is my wife."
Lest, said he, the men of the place
should kill me for Rebecca,
because she was fair to look upon.
So this was a bad thing that Isaac did,
following in his father's footsteps,
where he kind of fears the people of the land,
and so he just tells this lie that his wife is his sister.
Weird thing to do, never do that, okay?
But let's keep reading.
It says, "And it came to pass,
when he had been there a long time,
that Abimelech, king of the Philistines,
looked out at a window and saw,
and behold, Isaac was sporting with Rebekah, his wife."
So what's he doing?
He's just playing around with her.
He's just having a good time with her.
They're laughing.
They're playing a game.
They're hanging out together.
And notice the perception of Abimelech.
And Abimelech called Isaac and said,
"Behold, of assurity, she is thy wife.
And how sest thou?
She is my sister."
And Isaac said unto him,
"Because I said, lest I die for her."
So notice Abimelech was able to just look out a window
and see how these people are interacting to say,
this is not brother and sister.
This is not Kentucky.
This is not, you know, Rhode Island or anything like that.
I could tell by the way you guys are interacting
that you're more than just brother and sister.
And by the way, there should be a way that you act
with your wife, that you only act with your wife.
You know, it should be obvious to see like,
hey, these people are married
and it shouldn't be like seeing you with another person
and being like, are those people married?
No, no, with your wife and you're having fun,
it should be obvious.
And what is that?
That's quality time, hanging out, playing a game,
laughing together.
You know, it's good to just continually date your wife
throughout your marriage and not just be like,
well, you know, I tried to sweep her off her feet
when we were dating.
I took her out on dates.
I made her laugh.
I bought her gifts.
I told her she was beautiful.
I did all these things.
And then once you seal the deal, just that stuff is done.
You know, that is not how you can have a fulfilling marriage.
Go to Song of Solomon, chapter number one.
The last one that this book talks about is physical touch,
conveying love through appropriate physical contact,
like hugs, holding hands, or affectionate touch.
This is not talking about the physical relationship
because obviously that's gonna be universal
in every single marriage.
It's like, obviously everyone has that and needs that.
But physical touch is talking about, you know,
rubbing her back, rubbing her feet, holding her hand,
brushing her hair, stuff like that.
Song of Solomon, look at verse number one,
or I'm sorry, chapter one, verse two.
It says, let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth,
for thy love is better than wine.
Hey, getting to know your wife and realizing what she values,
what makes her feel loved,
maybe it's physical touch for her.
You know, kiss your wife, hug your wife, give her,
hold her hand when you're walking down the street.
You know, in church, hold her back if she likes that
or whatever, whatever it is that your wife likes,
you need to dwell with her according to knowledge.
Now, my wife hates back rubs.
I don't understand why, 'cause I absolutely love back rubs.
But if I just was constantly trying to massage my wife's
back, that would not be an act of love towards her.
She would get annoyed with me.
She would say, "Stop, you know, that hurts.
It doesn't like it."
But you know, maybe your wife loves back rubs.
Well, guess what you need to do?
You need to rub her back.
Maybe your wife likes feet rubs.
You know what you need to do?
You need to rub her feet.
Because the Bible says, "Love your wives."
And the Bible says to dwell with them
according to knowledge.
And hey, if that's how your wife feels loved,
well then you need to show that love to her.
Go to 1 Corinthians 7.
Now, like I said, the physical relationship is not in view
when this book is talking about physical touch.
But of course, the Bible does talk about this subject.
So I'm not ashamed or embarrassed
to talk about this subject
'cause it's something that the Bible talks about.
And it's a very important aspect of marriage.
And I feel like if preachers don't preach this,
there could be all these issues in marriage
that are never gonna get addressed
because no one's ever gonna talk about it.
But just look what the Bible says
in 1 Corinthians 7, verse three.
"Let the husband render unto the wife,
"do benevolence, and likewise also the wife unto the husband."
So of course we know the physical relationship
is something that is due within marriage.
It's not something that's optional.
It's not whenever you feel like.
It's, hey, if the husband wants it,
the wife gives it, and vice versa.
Why?
Verse four, "The wife hath not power of her own body,
"but the husband, and likewise also the husband
"have not power of his own body, but the wife."
The wife's body belongs to the husband,
and whatever he wants, he gets.
And the husband's body belongs to the wife,
and whatever she wants, she gets.
And it's interesting how the physical relationship
in the Bible is often referred to as knowing your wife.
Dwelling with them according to knowledge,
knowing your wife.
And again, this could take time in a marriage
to figure out what the person likes,
what the person doesn't like.
But while staying appropriate, I'll just say this,
whatever your wife likes, do that.
And whatever the husband likes, do that.
It really doesn't have to get more detailed than that.
Adults know what I'm saying.
But hey, that's what the Bible's saying here.
The wife's body belongs to the husband.
The husband's body belongs to the wife.
And you know what?
Dwelling with your wife according to knowledge
could be what she likes you do and vice versa.
Go to Ephesians chapter five.
So number one is love your wife
in the way that she feels loved.
I think that is the most important thing
when it comes to loving your wife.
And look, I am not gonna be the expert
in this in your marriage.
If you come to me with advice on how to love your wife,
I could help the best I can,
but you are gonna know your wife way better than me.
You're gonna know the way that she feels loved
way better than me.
So all I could do is show you these verses and say,
hey, start trying these things.
Start complimenting her all the time.
Hey, start holding her hand all the time.
Buy her some gifts, spend time with her.
Have these different aspects of your relationship
and see which one really makes her feel the most loved.
Number two, love your wife by being the spiritual leader.
Ephesians five, verse 21 says this,
submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
What is this saying?
We all have different people in life that we submit to.
And the body of Christ here,
we're all gonna be submitting to each other
at different areas of life.
So if I go to work, I'm no longer the pastor there.
I'm not in charge of anything.
I'm under my boss's authority and I have to obey him.
In the home, my wife has to obey me.
In the church, the church obeys the pastor.
We submit to each other in the body of Christ.
But this is not saying that, oh,
sometimes the wife has to submit to the husband
and sometimes the husband submits to the wife
because look what it says in verse 22,
specifically wives, submit yourselves
unto your own husbands as unto the Lord,
for the husband is the head of the wife,
even as Christ is the head of the church
and he is the savior of the body.
So notice, wives, submit yourselves unto the Lord, why?
Verse 23 says, for, meaning because the husband
is the head of the wife.
Why are wives to obey their husbands?
'Cause he's in charge, that's why.
Because he's the leader.
And here's the thing, whether you like it or not,
every single husband is the boss in the relationship.
He's in charge.
But here's the thing, just because someone is a leader
and just because someone is in charge
does not automatically make them a good leader,
does not automatically make them an effective leader.
And look, it doesn't matter whether or not
your husband is a good leader or an effective leader.
The Bible says to obey him, period.
But when I'm talking to the husbands,
I'm gonna implore you to try to be a good leader.
Try to be an effective leader.
And how do you do that?
You do that by being a good spiritual leader.
Because it's as Christ is over the church.
Look at verse 24.
Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ,
so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Husbands love your wives,
even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it.
So notice, yes, the man is in charge, just like Christ is in
charge of the church. But does that mean that Christ is just
being a jerk? And that he's just being selfish? And he's just
doing everything that he wants personally? No, he loved the
church by giving himself for it. And that's really what being a
good leader is, is yes, you have the authority. Yes, you're in
charge. Yes, you make the rules, but you use that authority for
the benefit of your wife, for the benefit of your family, for
the benefit of the people that follow you, not just well, I'm
in charge. So we're going to do everything I want. We're going
to go to every restaurant that I want. We're going to buy
everything that I want. Look, you have the right to do that.
But I would advise you to love your wife as Christ loved the
church, giving yourself for the church, giving yourself for your
wife. And so sometimes that looks like I have the power. I
have the authority. I can go wherever I want. But you know
what? I love my wife. So I want to go out to eat where she
wants to go. I want to do what she wants to do. And look, that
doesn't have to be every single time. But you know what? That is
loving her and being a good leader. Look at verse 26. This
is where we get into the spiritual part that he might
sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word
that he might present to himself a glorious church not
having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should
be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives
as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself
for no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth it
and cherisheth it even as the Lord the church. So what is
Christ doing? Christ is washing us. He's presenting himself a
glorious church not having spot or wrinkle by the washing
of water by the word and that's a picture of how husbands
should be leading their wives spiritually and by being a good
spiritual leader, you're ultimately loving yourself at
the end of the day because you know when you trouble your own
house, the Bible says you're like inheriting the whirlwind.
It says in Proverbs, you want to have a unified home. You
want to have a home where husband and wife are excited to
serve God where it's not wife is a Catholic, husband's a
Baptist or wife doesn't want to go to church whatsoever and
husband does. No, you want to effectively lead your home be a
good spiritual leader so that you can have that peace when you
love your wife in that way. It's like you're loving
yourself and so look men need to actually take it upon
themselves to actually be the spiritual leader in their home
and here's the thing loving your wife by leading for her
benefit does not always mean that she's going to be pleased
with every decision that you make you could be making a
decision for her that is for her betterment that is the best
decision for her that's going to help her in the long run and
she could be upset with you in the moment for that but here's
the thing you as the leader you have to get in the Bible you
have to be spiritual you have to know the word of god so that
you know how to lead your family and once you know what's
right you need to actually enforce that in your family
even if it upsets her for a while what's a just a classic
example of this is where to go to church I mean I can't tell
you how many times I've heard of husband and wife where the
husband gets saved first then the wife gets saved the husband
starts listening to new wife be preaching he loves it he says
this is awesome let's do this he shows his wife a clip of
pastor Anderson and she says that guy's crazy he's mean he's
angry I never want anything to do with that whatsoever what do
you do in that situation you make her go to church that's
what you do why because here's the thing if your wife is saved
she has this thing called the Holy Spirit of God inside of
her and guess what someone who has not been reading their
Bible who has not been listening to good preaching who
has not been walking in the spirit is gonna see the things
of God and not necessarily immediately have this deep love
and affinity and affection for it because they're worldly
carnal walking in the flesh and so what the only thing that
could fix the situation is you just making your wife do things
that are spiritual take her out soul winning whether she likes
it or not take her to church whether she likes it or not read
the Bible together whether she likes it or not that is being a
spiritual leader in your home being a spiritual leader is not
just sitting around and hoping that someday your wife becomes
spiritual now look if you're a wife who's spiritual and your
husband is not that's a much harder situation to deal with
which by the way the stakes are way higher for who a woman
marries than who a man marries and single guys will get all
upset about women having super high standards. I hope all women
have super high standards because you are signing up to
obey someone and follow someone based on their decisions for the
rest of your life. Whereas me as the man, hey, if my wife gets
out of line, if my wife wants to do something that I don't
wanna do, I'm just gonna bring her back to the right way. I'm
just gonna make her do what I want her to do because I'm in
charge. Now, here's the thing. You're in charge and you wanna
use that power for her betterment. So, don't just sit
around hoping, you know, someday my wife is just gonna
get off the TikTok and get off the TV and actually wanna start
coming to church and doing right. Look, I hope that
happens for you but you know, it's a much more effective idea
is just make her do what's right. You're the man. You
have that authority. That's being a spiritual leader. Look
at Joshua twenty-four. Joshua chapter number twenty-four. Of
course, for ladies, it talks about, you know, your godly
conversation. Hopefully, winning over your husband.
You're not gonna win over your husband by by berating him, by
criticizing him, by telling him he's not spiritual. You know,
your chance, your hope that you have is just being the most
godly Christian wife you possibly can be to win over your
husband. But you know what, husbands, you have no excuse.
You could drag your wife to church. You could drag your
wife out soul wedding. You can make your wife do these things.
That's the attitude that Joshua had. Look at verse fifteen and
if of of Joshua twenty-four, and if it seem evil unto you to
serve the lord, choose you this day whom you will serve,
whether the gods which your father served that were on the
other side of the flood or the gods of the Amorites in whose
land ye dwell, but as for me and my house, we will serve the
lord. See, this is the patriarchy here. Notice how he
says, you know, your fathers, whether the gods which your
fathers served, which were on the other side of the flood. In
time past, these fathers that he's referring to were not
spiritually leading their homes correctly. We're leading them
down a bad path, but he's saying, hey, for me and for my
house, we will serve the lord. Think about with with your
children. You know when your kids grow up and leave the
house, you can't really force them to continue going to
church or force them to continue going down the right
path, but it's like hey, while they're in your home though, as
for me in my house, we will serve the lord. Well, guess
what? Your wife is just always in your home and so for your
wife, you know you need to make her go to church. You need to
make her go so you need to make her do these things go to
Proverbs 31 Proverbs 31, but also being a spiritual leader
is just you know taking stock of your family seeing areas
where your family is struggling in or or possibly sinning in
and actually addressing those issues. Notice Proverbs 31 verse
number 27. It says she looketh well to the ways of her
household and Edith not the bread of idleness. So here is
a good example, a godly wife, a godly woman. Notice one of the
attributes of a godly woman is that she's not idle. So hey if
you got if you're a husband and your wife is not idle, praise
the lord for that. But the question is what if your wife is
very idle? Is that something that you just have to throw up
your hands and just say like, well, you know, my wife's just
kind of idle. She's just a busy body. She's just a gossip.
She's just a tattler. Oh, well, that's kind of how how it is.
No, you should actually deal with those issues. Go to first
Timothy chapter number five because the Bible warns about
what a woman will be like if she is very idle. First Timothy
chapter number five. First Timothy chapter number five. It
says in verse thirteen and with all they learn to be idle
wandering about from house to house and not only idle but
tattlers also in busy bodies speaking things which they ought
not. This is just the human condition in general but
especially women are more have more proclivity to this where
if you're idle, if you're not working that much, if you don't
have that much to do, you kind of just wander around. Notice
this woman is physically just wandering about from house to
house and before technology, that's how women would gossip
is they would just they they left their home. They're not
keepers at home. They're not taking care of their house.
They're not cooking in their house. They're just walking
over to the neighbor's house, walking over to their friend's
house and by doing that, notice what they're doing. They're
not only idle. Now, they're tatlers. Now, they're busy
bodies. Now, they're speaking things which they ought not.
What is the problem? What is what is the root cause of why
these women are idle or tatlers, busy bodies, gossip?
It's that they're idle. So, what is the solution? Look at
verse fourteen. I will therefore that the younger women
marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to
the adversary to speak reproachfully for some are
already turned aside after Satan. Notice the the cure for
this young single woman who is not married, who's idle is go
get married. Why? Because if you get married, there should
be a lot more work in your life. There should be a lot more
godly things that you should be doing. And you should have a
man that's going to check you if you're out gossiping and
being idle and being a tattler and being a busy body. Not only
marrying though, bearing children, guiding the house.
Notice those things are going to be a lot of work. Having
kids, raising kids, especially when they're young, that is
going to be a lot of work and just guiding the house. You
know, it would be a shame if a woman is spending all of her
time on social media, spending all of her time calling up her
friends, texting her friends, gossiping, railing, being a
busybody while her house is a complete disaster. What's the
solution there? The man needs to say, honey, get to work, do
something productive, clean the house, cook the meals, raise
the children. Men actually need to be in charge and lead
their wives and by the way, that is loving your wife because
it is not loving as a leader to let your followers just go
off the cliff into sin. That is not loving and look, your wife
may be upset if you say, hey, you've got way too much time on
your hands. You need to start doing some more stuff, but let
me tell you that is loving and you know what a loving husband
does. A loving husband will actually deal with issues and
look if my wife is caught in a lie or being a busy body or
gossiping or railing, I would fix that problem and you know
what men you need to fix your home. If your woman is like
this, go get your girl man, deal with it, go get Candace
Owens, whoever your husband is and get this loud mouth off
the internet, spending your whole life gossiping and
railing and being a tattletale. Where's your husband? These
trad women. Oh, I'm just I'm a conservative trad wife. That's
why I spend my entire life talking into a camera online.
How is that traditional? How is that conservative? How are
you an old fashioned conservative independent
fundamental Baptist woman when you spend every waking second
on social media, gossiping about other people's affairs,
constantly talking about stuff that has nothing to do with you.
You know what? You need a man to come into your life and tell
you to shut your mouth and to get to work and you say this
is a sermon. It's supposed to be about loving your wife.
This is loving your wife. You know what loving people in
churches is preaching hard against sin. You know what
loving your children is spanking your children and at
times, you know what loving your wife is not spanking them.
I know that's what you're thinking. Alright. Whoa there
are X new IFV chill out chill out. No, but it's correcting issues
and it's dealing with issues and actually fixing problems go
to if you would Genesis eighteen Genesis chapter number
eighteen. You know real leaders actually address problems. You
don't run from them. You don't hide from them. You don't
pretend they're not there. You don't cover your eyes and plug
your ears. La la la la la. No, you just deal with the issue.
That's what a real leader does. Genesis eighteen Genesis
chapter number eighteen. Notice how god felt about this
leader Abraham verse seventeen and the lord said, shall I hide
from Abraham that thing which I do seeing that Abraham shall
surely become a great and mighty nation and all the
nations of the earth shall be blessed in him for I know him
that he will command his children and his household after
him that they shall keep the way of the lord to do justice
and judgment that the lord may bring upon Abraham that which
he hath spoken of him god saying hey I like Abraham and I
don't wanna hide this information of what I'm gonna
do for him because I know that Abraham is gonna actually lead
his family. I know that Abraham is going to command his
children and his household that what that means is for men
being a spiritual leader serving god is not optional in
your home doing what's right is not optional. You are the
enforcer. You are the one that sets the rules and when things
get out of hand, you have to be the person that actually fixes
the problem and actually commands your family to do
right. There's gonna be times and hopefully everyone
understands this that you have to command your children to
change to stop doing something wrong that they're doing to
start doing something that they're not doing. Guess what
is the same thing for your wife and look. I hope you have
the most godly wife that doesn't cause you any issues,
but I'm just telling you there's gonna come a day where
something is gonna happen and you have to fix it. You have to
deal with it and you know you cannot just run away from your
problems in life. That's bad leadership. Bad leadership is
just pretending you know I hear no evil see no evil. Let's
just pretend no no no you deal with the issues. Go to James
chapter five. What's another aspect of leading your wife
spiritually? Of course it's being spiritual yourself. It's
setting a good example. It's commanding your family to serve
god. It's making them do what's right, but also I think
it's by praying for your wife praying for your wife. James
516 says, confess your faults one to another and pray one for
another that you may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of
a righteous man availeth much. You know there should be no one
in this world that is praying more for your wife than you.
You know, parents, there should be no one in this world that's
praying more for your children than for you and of course, we
also recognize that people have free will and yes, you need to
lead your family. Yes, you need to set the right example, but
look, there could be times where people are just extremely
stubborn, extremely rebellious, and that's when the power of
prayer could really come in that you just pray and ask God to
please change her heart to please help her with this
situation to please be merciful to her right. You see Job. He's
loving his family. He's spiritually leading his family
and he's praying for all of his children. He's just praying
that God would be merciful to them and forgive them of their
sins if they had sinned if they had cursed God in their
hearts. He doesn't even know, but he's just constantly praying
on their behalf that God would be merciful to them, do good
unto them, bless them. And look when it comes to leading your
wife, you should be constantly praying for your wife. That
should be the person that you just pray for. The most is your
wife. It's the most important human relationship that you
have, you know, and the Bible says that it's effectual. Go to
Colossians chapter number three. Colossians chapter number
three. So we talked about number one, love your wife the
way that she feels loved. Number two, love your wife by
being the spiritual leader. Number three, love your wife by
forgiving your wife. Colossians three verse nineteen, the Bible
says, husbands love your wives and be not bitter against them.
What is bitterness? It's when someone has done wrong to you
or you've perceived that someone's done wrong to you and
instead of addressing that issue, working things out,
forgiving that person, you just hold on to that anger, you
hold on to that rage, and you start to become bitter against
that person. And really, you're mad about something from weeks
ago, months ago, years ago, but when you're bitter, it kind of
just spills out into your everyday life where no matter
what she does, you're just angry at her. You're snappy at
her. You're screaming at her because you have this
bitterness. You know, husbands are called not to be bitter
against your wives. So look, it is just not acceptable for a
husband to be unforgiving to his wife. You should love your
wife by being being forgiving to her. Go back to first Peter
chapter three, first Peter chapter number three. And of
course, like I said, it's really easy in the honeymoon
phase. There's nothing to be bitter about in the honeymoon
phase, but eventually you're gonna wake up and you're gonna
realize I married a sinful person and vice versa because
we are all sinners, which by the way is why it's so silly to
get divorced and remarried. You think, oh, there's something I
don't like about my wife and so I'm just gonna dump her. I'm
gonna leave my wife and I'm gonna go get a new girl, a new
sinner, someone who's gonna bring more problems, maybe
different problems, maybe worse problems because when people
get divorced and remarried, they're more likely to get
divorced the second time. No, the problem is you for being
bitter. The problem is you for having this unrealistic
expectation that your wife is never gonna do anything wrong.
She's never gonna disobey. She's never gonna say a
crossword to you. She's never gonna burn dinner. She's never
gonna let the house be messy a single time and so you just
divorce her and get another girl. That's asinine. That's
incredibly foolish. Look at first Peter chapter three verse
seven. Likewise the husbands dwell with them according to
knowledge giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel.
So notice we should realize that our wives are the weaker
vessel and when things are very hard for her and she's
struggling and maybe she's not meeting all of your
expectations. You know we that are strong not to bear the
infirmities of the week the Bible says and you shouldn't
just like berate your wife for being weak. You already know
she's the weaker vessel. So why don't you actually be strong
and lead her spiritually and not get bitter against her.
Notice it says and as being heirs together of the grace of
life that your prayers be not hindered. That's a scary verse.
Finally be you all of one mind having compassion one of another
love as brethren be pitiful be courteous not rendering evil
for evil or railing for railing but contrary wise blessing
knowing that you are there unto called that ye should inherit
a blessing you know people be like you don't understand she did evil
she did something wrong she said something hurtful
she burned dinner she did this okay the bible says don't render evil for evil
don't render railing for railing but contrary wise
blessing right so what happens when you do you know your wife does something
wrong and you just do something wrong back to her
she says something mean to you and you just blow up and you just say
something mean back to her well if you just get bitter against her
the bible says that your prayers could be hindered
that's a scary place to be in life you know i want god to hear my prayers
because you know what i'm weak and fragile in this world and i need the
lord jesus christ to strengthen me and to help me through life and it would
be a terrifying thought to go through life
knowing that my prayers are not going past the ceiling that god's
hind or just hindering my prayers that god could even be working against me
you know it's important for us to hear this kind of preaching because how you
treat your wife can affect your relationship with god
if you are a bad husband if you are bitter against your wife
let me explain something to you you are not a good christian this thing doesn't
exist where like you're just this awesome christian
you're a super spiritual person but you just don't love your wife
i'm super spiritual i'm super godly but i'm just constantly bitter against
my wife that doesn't exist like you have to come to grips that if you're just
constantly bitter with your wife that is a you problem you are the one
that's in sin you are the one that's not obeying what the bible says
you need to let go of your bitterness you need to forgive your wife
because she's your wife this is the wife of your youth
rejoice with the wife of your youth don't go through life getting your
prayers hindered because you can't just forgive
your wife go to matthew 18 and look it does not matter what she does to you
there's some really jacked up marriage situations in the bible you got hosea
that's got to pay to keep his wife from committing adultery on him
and she commits adultery and he has to go chase her back and she you know he
has to stay with her i don't think you're dealing with that
situation but even he did the right thing he didn't divorce her he didn't
leave her but look there's there's jacked up
marriage situations in the bible but i'm just telling you it does not
matter what situation you're in because you vowed to love this person
in sickness and in health for better or for worse
hey it doesn't matter the situation you must keep your vows
and this parable really hits home look at matthew 18 verse 23 it says therefore
is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king
which would take account of his servants when he had begun to reckon one was
brought unto him which owed him ten thousand talents
but for as much as he had not to pay his lord commanded him to be sold
and his wife and children and all that he had and payment to be made
the servant therefore fell down and worshiped him saying lord have patience
with me and i will pay thee all then the lord of
that servant was moved with compassion and loosed him
and forgave him the debt and of course this is a picture
of our relationship with god that we have this huge
debt of sin that we are worthy of hell and we fall down and we ask for mercy
we call upon the name of the lord lord i know i'm a sinner lord i know i
deserve hell but please save me please give me mercy please give me
eternal life you know what god does he just immediately does it
god just immediately forgives you he forgives you of all your sins
past present and future and where sin abounds grace much more abounds
and the bible says he will never leave us nor forsake us
that there's nothing that can separate us from the love of god which is in
christ jesus nothing can separate us from the love of
god which is in christ jesus you know what your marriage should have
that same exact attitude that it is a till death you us part
relationship that it does not matter what you have done to each other in the
past that you will always forgive that you will always extend grace that you
will always extend love that you will never leave that person that you will
never divorce that person no matter what they do
because of the fact that we had way more that we owed god
and god so freely and immediately forgave us how wicked would it be
to not forgive your wife over whatever silly issue you're mad about
notice the attitude in verse 28 but the same servant went out and found one of
his fellow servants which owed him in hundred pence so way less
and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat
saying pay me that thou owest and his fellow servant fell down at his feet and
besought him saying have patience with me and i will
pay thee all and he would not but went and cast him into prison till
he should pay the debt so when his fellow servants saw
what was done they were very sorry and came and told them to their lord all
that was done then his lord after that he had called him said unto him oh thou
wicked servant i forgave thee all that debt
because thou desirest me shouldest that shouldest thou not
also have had compassion on thy fellow servant even as i had pity
on thee and his lord was wroth and delivered him to the tormentors
till he should pay all that was doing to him so likewise
shall my heavenly father do also unto you if ye from your hearts
forgive not everyone his brother their trespasses
in the same way that this lord he hears of just the hypocrisy and the wicked
attitude of this servant that just had so much
forgiven him next thing you know he's grabbing people
by the throat and demanding payment for a way less amount
you know what did that happen what did that do is it made the lord wrath
he called that person a wicked servant and he's angry he delivered them up to
the tormentors and jesus said that our heavenly father will do the exact thing
to us if we do not from our hearts forgive our
brothers our trespasses that's that's any christian that's our
brothers how much more your wife you know i never made a vow to love you
till death do us part right but you know i should still forgive
you no matter what anyways but how much more to your wife that
you did make a vow to love that person for better or for
worse and god has forgiven you of so much
and god is constantly on an ongoing basis extending grace to us
and then he sees you not even loving not even forgiving
your own wife you know you're gonna have god working against you
you are gonna have god cursing your life you are gonna have god
hindering your prayers all because of how you treat your wife
that's why this stuff needs to be preached because again loving your wife
is not optional this is not a suggestion this is a
command of god go to song of solomon chapter number
five so number three we got to be forgiving to our wife
and you know what the lord's mercies are new every morning
and so should ours be as husbands number four last point love your wife
by being exclusive with your wife you know it's crazy
that this even needs to be talked about and preached in 2025 america
but so many people just think flirting with other women no big deal
gawking after other women no big deal being with other women
no big deal so many people have such jacked up views in this area
but i love what song of solomon 5 verse 16 says
this is the wife speaking she says his mouth
is most sweet yeah he is altogether lovely
this is my beloved and this is my friend oh daughters of jerusalem hey when it
comes to girlfriends men the last girlfriend
you will ever have is your wife that's the last girlfriend you'll ever have
and you know what it is not appropriate for married men
to have girlfriends to have friends that are girls
where just you and other girls are just going out to eat and you and other girls
are going out doing fun stuff on the weekends
that is completely inappropriate even if it never arises
all the way to adultery i mean talk about abstaining from all appearance of
evil even if there is nothing physical going on
how wicked and evil does it look to see a married man
just out to eat at dinner with some woman you know the work wife
people joke about this at work oh i got my work wife don't ever joke about that
don't have a work wife look we live in a world where men and women constantly
have to work with each other it just is what it is those interactions
should be kept extremely professional you shouldn't be trying to like add to
the conversation and see like how long you could talk to this person
and you know make her laugh and be all charming and stuff like that
no no no it's just like what do you need okay you need this
leave my office you know you don't have to be that mean okay but you know in
your heart that's how it is just like you are my co-worker i will
deal with you professionally but you know what we're not hanging out
we're not talking about how was your weekend how was this no no no just like
work and that's it because i have seen this in the workplace
i remember that two people got fired because they
built this friendship and they ended up committing adultery on the clock
and both of them got fired why because they just played with fire
they got too close to the flame on that and you know what we are wired a certain
way as men and you cannot just hold fire in your
bosom and not be burned you eventually will make some sort of
mistake so you need to stay as far away from that kind of stuff as humanly
possible and look i talk about the weird extremes
that baptists have on this like some baptists are so extreme they
can't even say like good morning look say hey good morning brothers so
and so good morning mrs so and so be normal treat your sisters in christ in
this church as normal human beings but you know what you're not going out to
eat with people in this church you're not going to be hugging other
people's wives that's a good way to get punched
and dropped immediately don't hug other people's wives
don't have private conversations with people and look
family's one thing hug your sister hug your family members no big deal
but i'm just saying you ought to be very careful with this kind of stuff
and people will make fun of us and say we're crazy no no no i think what's
crazy is committing adultery i think what's crazy is betraying your
wife's trust i think what's crazy is leading yourself down a path that could
lead to getting divorced that's what's crazy what's crazy is
having a work wife that's what's crazy what's crazy is committing adultery on
the clock that's crazy not just me being a little
standoffish with the women in the office go to first peter chapter four
first peter chapter number four and you know unfortunately i think people who
had a promiscuous past especially women it seems like
if you grew up you weren't in church you didn't grow up saved and you know you
were just walking according to the course of this world
you're just doing what unsafe people do a lot of times women grow up they live a
really promiscuous life they live a really whorish life it can
sometimes be hard for them to turn that off when they get married
and to turn that off even when they get in church but i'm telling you
you need to turn that part of your life off and your your husband's last
boyfriend you've ever had and husbands your wife is the last
girlfriend that you'll ever have look at first peter four verse one for
as much then as christ hath suffered for us in the flesh arm
yourselves likewise with the same mind for he that hath suffered in the flesh
hath ceased from sin that he should no longer that he
no longer should live the rest of his time in the flesh
to the lusts of men but to the will of god verse three is the key
for the time past of our life may suffice us
to have wrought the will of the gentiles when we walked in lasciviousness
lusts excess of wine revelings banquetings and abominable
idolatries wherein they think it's strange that you run not with them
to the same excess of riot speaking evil of you
Peter saying look let the time past of your life suffice you
in all those wicked things that you've done look hopefully you just skip that
phase altogether people who are young in this room who
have not yet gone out and committed fornication and
gotten the std and had the divorce and had the adulterous affair look don't
you dare ever even go down that path but for people that have gone down that
path of course we want them to go forward and serve God
get right with those things move on in your life and you know what you do
let the time of your past let it suffice you
say hey you know i've had enough drunken nights you don't need to sit here and
miss the drunken nights like oh man you know i had so much fun when i was in
college had so much fun when i was a teenager
no you didn't first of all no you didn't and even if in your mind
you perceive like i had all this fun when i was a whore when i was doing all
this alcohol and drugs you know the bible says let time
past just suffice you you've done that it's in the past you've
got it out of your system if you will don't continue in the future walking
down that path so look if you were flirtatious and if
you were promiscuous and time past look when you're married you better shut
that off and people know what they're doing and you
could see when people are like this where it's just like even though someone's
married they're just chatting everyone up and you know the man's being all
charming and he's trying to make every girl laugh it's like no you need to shut
that down go sport with your wife and make
make rebecca laugh and people could see oh those two are married
what you don't want is to see two people that aren't married and get kind of an
uncomfortable feeling like what is going on right here this is
uncomfortable how they're playing with each other how they're flirting with
each other and of course vice versa women shut that off completely you know
the bible talks about don't let her take you with her eyelids you know
there's an inappropriate way that you could look at another person and women
know what they're doing when they when they do this don't go giving people the
eyes don't go giving people the look don't try to you know seduce other
people when you're married that's extremely evil
no love your wife by being exclusive with your wife
go to genesis chapter 2 song of solomon 6 3 says
i am my beloved's and my beloved is mine he feedeth among the lilies hey we
need to make men jealous of their wives again
i am my beloved's and my beloved is mine she does not belong to anyone else
she's not having deep long conversations with another guy
there's not going to be another guy chatting her up and making her laugh
and vice versa you know don't do that you belong to each
other exclusively genesis 2 look at verse 24 therefore
shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they
shall be one flesh also when it comes to being
exclusive with your wife loving your wife exclusively you
should love your wife more than any other person on this
planet you should love your wife more than your mom some some you
got mama's boys in this world where they get married and they just
can't leave the nest and mama still has his heart and the
wife is kind of like fighting for his affection and attention over his mama
no no leave mother and father cleave to your wife
you ought to love your wife more than your mom more than your dad and of
course vice versa ladies you ought to love your husband
more than your mom and your dad and sometimes that clean
separation getting some distance not involving your parents
in your marriage issues never talk bad about your wife to your mom or dad
and vice versa why because you want to make sure that you love her
exclusively and let me say this you know obviously we still love our
moms and dads we love our brothers and sisters we love other people in our
lives but your wife should be the person you
love the most so you know what that means you should always always always
stick up for your wife if anyone ever talks bad about her
anyone ever comes after her no no no you stick up for your wife
you be a united front and if you have to
make someone else mad or not be as close with someone else
to stick up for your wife you stick up for your wife
you know men don't ever let people disrespect your wife that's
disrespecting you you stick up for your wife go to proverbs chapter number five
and you know what you better be very careful disrespecting
another man's wife because you could have some serious
consequences there's been many an er visit in this world
that took place because of someone disrespecting someone's wife
and look i am not to be a brawler or a striker so i would never want to do that
but i may have the temptation of the flesh if someone just disrespected my
wife that that might get ugly i think that
would get ugly with any guy proverbs chapter number five
and of course when when it comes to being exclusive with your wife
the most obvious here is never cheat on your wife that is so obvious but look
what the bible says proverbs five verse 15 drink waters out of
thine own cistern and running waters out of thine own well
let thy fountains be dispersed abroad and rivers of waters in the streets
let them be only thine own and not strangers with thee
let thy fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife of thy youth
let her be as the loving hind and pleasant row let her breasts
satisfy thee at all times and be thou ravished
always with her love hey god knows that people are driven to have that
physical relationship that's why you get married
nevertheless to avoid fornication let every man have his own wife
let every wife have her own husband you know you need to
make sure that you're being satisfied with the wife of your youth
alone and not chasing after other stuff and we live in such an evil and dark
world it has never been easier for people to
go and do this kind of stuff with the internet at fingertips it's
just so easy for people to go do this kind of stuff
but you know what the bible says is that adulterers and whoremongers
god will judge and it doesn't matter if you think
that you can go get away with something or you could cheat on your wife and no
one will know god will know and god will judge and notice this
question in verse 20 and why wilt thou my son be ravished
with a strange woman and embrace the bosom of a stranger
for the ways of man are before the eyes of the lord and he pondereth all his
goings why he's just saying like why would you do this
why would you leave your wife why would you go be ravished
with a stranger it's never going to bring satisfaction
nothing good is ever going to happen from it people constantly
do nothing but ruin their lives when they commit adultery when they cheat on
their spouse and you know what the dumbest thing
people do is is they'll go and cheat on their spouse
and the other party will go cheat on their spouse and then those cheating
couples will marry each other and it's like you are a special kind of
idiot you are a special kind of retard to think
that you could sit here and violate your marriage covenant with your wife
she could violate her marriage covenant with her husband
and now you think that you two are going to be faithful to each other like you
are insane if you do something like that verse 22
his own iniquities shall take the wicked himself and he shall
beholden with the cords of his sins you're just bringing yourself into a
life of bondage by cheating on your spouse by committing
adultery you're going to be held with the cords of
your sins you're going to get a disease you're going to blow up your marriage
you're going to have that child support payment like you will destroy your life
look at verse 23 you may even just die he shall die
without instruction and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray
god may literally just kill you and you know what i think especially for people
in a church like this that constantly hear this preached
that constantly hear the word of god that knows that the bible says
whom the lord loveth he chaseneth and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth
if you go out and do this god may just literally kill you
you should be terrified to think that if i went outside of my marriage covenant
that god wouldn't just strike you dead right where you lay
you don't think that's ever happened before because the bible literally says
he shall die without instruction and in the greatness of his folly he
shall go astray you know we need to bring the fear of god
back into our marriages and the love for your wife
despite what god will do to you what a hurtful thing to your spouse
you know that's got to be one of the most intense betrayals of trust
you can imagine to think about your spouse your spouse
turning aside unto another that that pain that suffering that agony
is probably unthinkable and it's destroyed a lot of marriages
to where things never get better and hopefully you know things would get
better but i'm just saying there's many times where it doesn't
and people permanently ruin their relationships go to ecclesiastes 9
while i read for you hebrews 13 for marriage is honorable and all
in the bed undefiled but whoremongers and adulterers god will judge
let your conversation be without covetousness
and be content with such things as ye have for he hath said i will never
leave thee nor forsake thee. How do people get all the way over into committing physical act of
adultery, of cheating on your spouse? It starts out first with covetousness. "Thou shalt not covet
thy neighbor's wife," the Bible says. It starts out with you not being satisfied with the wife of
your youth, not being ravished always with her love, but instead you turn aside and you start
coveting after something that doesn't belong to you. You know, that's where you got to cut it off.
You got to cut it off at the covetousness. You got to cut it off at make not provision for the
flesh to fulfill the lust thereof. Cut it off at I don't have female friends. I'm not alone with
the opposite gender. I don't hang out with other girls. And then you can never even go down this
road to begin with. How did David end up committing adultery? He's just up late at night being idle,
doing nothing, just letting his eyes wander. And he sees a woman bathing on the rooftop and he
doesn't say, "Whoa, you know, I've got plenty of wives at home." No, he sits there and he just
covets. He just lusts after her. He just lets her beauty take him in his eyes. And it goes from
coveting to asking after her, "Hey, bring me this girl." Then after covetousness, her and his
physical presence leads all the way to committing the act of adultery. And then you know what? He
was taken with the cords of his sins because he ended up having a man murdered to cover up for his
sin. And of course God ended up having one of his kids killed. One of his babies died as a result
of his sin. And he had Absalom laying with his wives in the sight of all Israel publicly shaming
and embarrassing him. God is just constantly trying to tell us this is like the worst idea
you could ever do. It will never be worth it. That short temporary pleasure of sin for a season is
never worth it. It will destroy you. Look at Ecclesiastes 9 verse 9. "Live joyfully with the
wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity which he hath given thee under the sun
all the days of thy vanity for that is thy portion in this life and in thy labor which thou takest
under the sun." Look if you're going to be married for the rest of your life you might as well be
happily married. You might as well live joyfully with the wife of your youth all the days of your
life. And look I don't know if anyone in here is struggling right now with this. Maybe husbands are
struggling with loving their wives or the relationship isn't that good. But look I hope
that you're that you get married that you stay married but more and hope hopefully I hope that
you have a happy marriage that you live joyfully with your wife. How do you do that? Let me read
Proverbs 16 3 the Bible says commit thy works unto the Lord and thy thoughts shall be established.
Look what you do affects how you think your actions affect your heart the things that you see affect
your heart and just like how if you want to be closer to the Lord what do you got to do? You
commit your works unto the Lord and thy thoughts shall be established. Look I hope you're close
to God right now and you have no struggles with serving God just like how I hope you're close
with your wife. I hope you're not bitter against your wife. I hope you're not struggling to love
your wife right now. I hope you're not sitting having wicked thoughts about wanting someone
else or regretting being married or something like that but I do know that people do go through
things like that and if that's you, you need to commit your works to your wife. Start doing the
right actions and then the right thoughts and the right feelings will follow. What are some things
you could do? Number one, love your wife in the way that she feels loved. You need to do a science
experiment in your marriage and realize that you need to dwell with your wife according to knowledge.
You need to get some knowledge. You need to stop being so selfish and just living your whole life
for yourself and you guys are just roommates and you're doing your thing and she's just existing in
her little island by herself. You need to get to know that woman that God has given you and you need
to try those different areas. Number two you need to be the spiritual leader. You need to know your
what your Bible more than her. You need to be more spiritual than her. If she has a question
about the Bible you need to be the one that could provide the answer. Number three you need to forgive
your wife. Do not be bitter against your wife. You know that is only going to trouble your own house.
It's only going to make your life more miserable. Who wants to be in a miserable marriage? Who wants
to wake up every day angry at their spouse? Who wants to wake up every day bitter at the person
that you chose to live with for the rest of your life? You need to forgive your wife. Whatever
you're bitter about this morning you need to let that go and move on. And number four you need to
love your wife by being exclusive with your wife. That goes down to the physical relationship.
That comes down to who you love the most. That comes down to who you're the most faithful to,
who you defend more than anyone else. That comes down all the way to having friends with other
women. You need to be exclusive with your wife. You need to love your wife. Let's pray. Lord,
thank you so much for this day in our church and the marriages that you've given us. Lord,
I pray that you would bless every single marriage in here, that you would help the men in this room
to take stock of their life and see where they're falling short in this area and help us to strive
to be the best husbands we could possibly be, to love our wives with all of our heart,
and to implement these things into our marriages. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.
Last hymn this morning, turn if you would to number 424. 424 in your hymnal. "O come all ye faithful."
424-424. "O come all ye faithful." 424 there on the first.
Oh, God!