Malachi chapter 2, Malachi chapter number 2, Malachi chapter number 2, is my good brother
Cam?
Alright, and Malachi chapter 2, the Bible says, we'll read it together and now, O ye priests,
If you will not hear and if you will not lay it to heart
to give glory unto my name, say it to the Lord of hosts,
I will even send a curse upon you
and I will curse your blessings.
Yay, I have cursed them already
because you do not lay it to heart.
Behold, I will corrupt your seed
and spread dung upon your faces.
Even the dung of your solemn feasts
and one shall take you away with it.
And ye shall know that I have sent this commandment unto you
that my covenant might be with Levi,
say it to the Lord of hosts.
My covenant was with him of life and peace, and I gave them to him for the fear wherewith he feared me, and was afraid before my name.
The law of truth was in his mouth, and iniquity was not found in his lips.
He walked with me in peace and equity, and did turn many away from iniquity.
For the priests' lips should keep knowledge, and they should seek the law at his mouth.
For he is the messenger of the Lord of hosts, but ye are departed out of the way.
Ye have caused many to stumble at the law.
Ye have corrupted the covenant of Levi, say the Lord of hosts.
Therefore have I also made your you contemptible and base before all the people,
according as ye have not kept my ways, but have been partial in the law.
Have we not all one Father?
Hath not one God created us?
Why do we deal treacherously every man against his brother by profaning the covenants of
our fathers?
Judah hath dealt treacherously, and an abomination is committed in Israel and in Jerusalem, for
Judah hath profaned the holiness of the Lord which he loved, and hath married the daughter
of a strange God.
The Lord will cut off the man that doeth this, the master and the scholar, out of the tabernacles of Jacob,
and him that offereth an offering unto the Lord of hosts.
And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping,
and with crying out in so much that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand.
Yet ye say, wherefore, because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth,
against whom thou hast dealt treacherously, yet is she thy companion and the wife of thy covenant.
And did he not make one, yet had he the residue of the Spirit, and wherefore, one, that he might seek a godly seed,
therefore take heed to your Spirit and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.
For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith, that he hateeth putting away.
For one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts, therefore take he
to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
Ye have wearied the Lord with your words, yet ye say, wherein have we wearied him?
When ye say, everyone that doeth evil is good in the sight of the Lord, and ye delighteth
in them, or where is the God of judgment?
Let's have a word of prayer.
Again, we thank you so much for the marriages of this room.
I thank you for my wife and the great blessing and support she is to me in the ministry and
just in life.
And I just pray that you would strengthen all the marriages in this room, that you bless
this sermon.
Please fill me with the Holy Spirit.
We love you, Jesus, and we pray, amen.
All right, so we're in Malachi chapter two, and the part of this chapter I want to focus
on this evening is verse 14.
because the Lord hath been witness between thee
and the wife of thy youth,
against whom thou hast dealt treacherously,
yet is she thy companion
and the wife of thy covenant."
Yeah, first, I love that phrase of this verse
that talks about the wife of your youth.
You know, it's a blessing to get married young.
We got a lot of young faces in this room,
but by raise of hands,
who has been married for at least five years?
Okay, who's been married for at least 10 years all right who's been married for 15 years
There we go.
Awesome.
So praise the Lord.
You're still with the wife of your youth.
You know, that's a blessing.
That's a good thing for sure.
But let's keep reading where it says, Yet she is thy companion and the wife of thy covenant.
Now what is a covenant?
Covenant is an agreement or promise, usually formal, between two or more people or groups
to do or to not do something specified.
Keep your vows because whether you've been in this room married for 20 plus years or whether you've been married for
less than a year, you know, you made vows to that person.
You made a covenant to that person in the audience of your friends and family and a man of God and
God himself because the Bible says that God was witness between you and the wife of your covenant, okay?
So we have to take vows very seriously. Go to
Keep your place in Malachi and go to Deuteronomy chapter 23.
Deuteronomy chapter 23.
You know, we live in a culture, we live in a time
where the marriage vows have never been esteemed
so less it seems like as they are today.
You know, it used to be that people would stay married just even if they're having issues,
even if their marriage isn't as hot as they would like it to be, you know, they would
stay married just out of honor of God and of the fact that they made a promise, right?
People used to keep their word, that used to be a normal thing, but you know, we need
to bring that back where we keep our vows.
Look at Deuteronomy 23 verse 21, it says, When thou shalt vow a vow unto the Lord, Thou
For the Lord thy God will surely require it of thee, and it would be sin in thee."
I like this verse because it doesn't just say, make sure you keep your vows, it says
don't even be slack in paying the vows that you made to God.
So not only should you just stay married. I mean, that's the lowest bar possible for your marriage, right?
And my desire and my hope for all the marriages in here is that you don't just have a well
We stay married, you know type marriage now if that's all you have that's definitely better than getting divorced
Don't hear me wrong
But you know what you made vows beyond just staying married and we're gonna talk about some of the vows that you made at the wedding altar
But of all those vows that you made
You should not slack to pay those vows.
You should not half-heartedly be married,
half-heartedly keep the promises that you made.
You know, you should put all your heart and energy and effort
into fulfilling the promises that you made to your spouse
and to God. Look at verse 22.
Look, no one forced you to get married.
You know, I don't think we're living in India here
where, you know, we had some sort of arranged marriage
and you were forced to marry a certain person.
You know, every single person in this room
decided to get married.
You, of your own voluntary free will,
you got up there and you said,
I do.
You made those promises and so, you know, if you would have just foreborn to swear if you just didn't make a vow, then it wouldn't be sin in you and obviously, you know, people who are not yet married, we should constantly be telling them like, hey, this is a serious decision, this is a big commitment that you're making.
You don't want to just get married to someone on a whim, you know, the whole, you know, Las Vegas weekend, oh, we got married in Las Vegas. That's a bad idea, you know, you don't want to be hasty in making vows, but hey, once you've sat down.
And you've decided, we're getting married, we're making this covenant, we're making this promise.
That is a lifelong commitment, it's a lifelong thing that you promised.
Go back to Malachi chapter 2, Malachi 2.
So in verse 14,
We saw the Bible talking about the covenant and in verse 15 it says and did he not made did not he make one
Yet had he the residue of the spirit and wherefore one that he might seek a godly seed
Therefore take heed to your spirit and let none deal treacherously
Against the wife of his youth see it's a treacherous thing for a man to break the covenant that he made with his wife
And it's obvious, it's just implied, that it goes the same way for a wife as well.
It's treacherous, it's extremely wicked, it's a terrible thing when people in marriage break
their vows.
And not just the vow of, you know, we're just staying married.
It's all the vows that you made.
Go to verse number 16.
Verse 16 it says for the Lord the God of Israel saith that he hate if putting away so God hates divorce
For one, covereth violence with his garment,
sayeth the Lord of hosts.
Therefore, take heed to your spirit
that you deal not treacherously.
See, when you break the covenant of marriage,
when you break the vows that you made,
you are violating your spouse.
You are committing an act of violence
because you're violating their rights,
you're violating their trust,
you're violating the word that you spoke to them
and that you spoke to God.
Go to 1 Peter chapter three.
chapter number three. And look, you could try to, you know, cover your violence with a garment.
You could try to hide your actions and you could put on a good show in front of people
and you could try to act like you're a great husband if you're really not or you could try to act
like you're a good wife if you're really not. But God sees these things and when God sees someone
trying to cover up the way that they're violating their spouse, God's angry at that. When, you know,
or a wife puts away her husband,
and God is angry with those things.
Look at 1 Peter 3, verse seven.
It says, likewise,
the husbands dwell with them according to knowledge,
giving honor unto the wife,
as unto the weaker vessel,
and as being heirs together of the grace of life.
Notice that your prayers be not hindered.
So, notice that your relationship with your spouse, your marriage, and the way that you're
treating each other and specifically how men are supposed to be honoring their wives could
actually not only harm your marriage, but actually harm your relationship with God Almighty.
And to where, if you are dealing treacherously with your wife or, you know, ladies, if you're being a bad wife,
your prayers can actually be hindered, where God is going to withhold his blessings from you.
God is going to not want to answer your prayers just by the way that you're treating your spouse.
And of course, here in this verse, it's talking about how husbands should give honor unto the wife.
We believe in men being gentlemen, men being chivalrous, taking care of their ladies, protecting
their ladies, treating them with love and respect.
We get this false accusation that we hate women, that the new IFB hates women, but it's
such a joke because if any of you guys know me and we all know each other, that is such
a joke, that accusation that's leveled against us.
You know, we treat our ladies well, we give them honor, we love them, we take care of
them, we will take bullets for them.
You know, the men that are part of the safety team in this church, you know, they're here
to protect everyone.
You know, they're willing to put their lives on the line, if need be, to protect the people
of this church and especially the women and children.
You know, we love the women of this church, but more importantly, I love my wife.
And I would die for my wife and I would do anything for my wife.
You know, that should be your goal as a husband.
That should be your mentality.
It's just like, hey, I'm going to give honor unto the wife as the weaker vessel.
By the way, of course, it's obvious that she's the weaker vessel.
Right?
But that's not to say, oh, that means she's bad.
That means she's not valuable.
No, you want to protect that, which is weak.
Right?
You want to put more value to that and protect it and take care of it and honor it.
What are the vows that you made? I realize maybe not everyone in here said the exact same words at the wedding altar
But this is a pretty common pretty
Normal wedding vow that I've heard it most if not all weddings have ever been to which by the way the first wedding
I ever went to in my life was my own so that was kind of fun
But here's what it says it says I blank take the blank just thinking your spouse
To be my wedded wife or husband to have and to hold
From this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health, to love, and to cherish, till death do us part.
Now raise your hand if you said vows very similar to that, if not exactly the same thing.
Okay? Every single person. Every single person.
So this sermon applies to you, okay? Because these are—this is the covenant that you made.
I mean, this is the promise that you made to God.
In front of everyone, in front of your friends and family, this is what you promised.
Now go to 1 Corinthians chapter number seven.
1 Corinthians chapter number seven.
Now the first part of these wedding vows that I want to focus on is the fact that you willingly
and deliberately chose the person you're married to.
Because the beginning says, I take thee, right?
You're saying, I want you, I'm choosing you.
But if any man think that he behaved himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she passed
the flower of her age and need so require, notice, let him do what he will.
He, sin, if not, let them marry.
So you have free will to get married.
That is a decision you get to make.
The Bible does not say that you have to get married, right?
There are stipulations on this.
Obviously, it has to be a woman that is fully mature, right?
And the man obviously should be fully mature.
It should be something between adults.
and but it's also something that you just choose. You're choosing your spouse,
no one's forcing you on that. You made that choice. Now the Apostle Paul, he's talking about like,
hey, you know, if a man requires this, he let him do what he will, because the Apostle Paul
was able to keep his body in subjection. He didn't really have this desire. And so he chose to remain
unmarried. Now this is very rare. I don't think I've ever met anyone like this.
But I've actually had lots of people come up to me, single guys of course, and they're
saying like, hey, I think I'm like the apostle Paul.
I think that I can contain.
I just said, do you like women?
Do you want a woman?
Yes, you're not the apostle Paul.
If you want them, then you need to get married.
You know, the Bible says it's better to marry than to burn, right?
Talking about burning in your lust.
That is a natural temptation of men and you need to get married.
Nevertheless, he that standeth steadfast in his heart, having no necessity but hath power over his own will and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin doeth well.
So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well, but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.
The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth, but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will.
only in the Lord, right?
So one stipulation of marriage,
hey, she's gotta be past the flower of her age,
she's gotta be a mature adult,
but beyond that is that she needs to be in the Lord
and the man needs to be in the Lord,
meaning that they're both saved, right?
And we definitely don't wanna encourage
people who are not yet married in this room
to go marry someone that's unsaved.
I mean, that has to be the number one box that is checked.
Now, everyone in here is saved. Praise the Lord for that.
I don't know if any of you got married before one of you were saved.
And if that's the case, praise the Lord that you're both saved now.
Because I'll tell you what, it is a nightmare for people who are married
where one person is saved and the other isn't.
Because what we talk about a lot lately,
can two walk together except they be agreed, right?
You know, diversity is not a strength in marriage, folks.
You wanna agree on the foundations of life.
You wanna be equally yoked together.
You wanna have the same values.
To have a strong marriage, you're gonna have to have that
and keep that throughout your whole marriage.
So again, let me read the vows here.
It says, I take thee to be my wedded wife.
We talked about that.
To have and to hold.
from this day forward.
Now let me tell you about another extremely important part of marriage
that I will always preach.
I'll never stop preaching about this
because people's marriages get hurt.
My bad doctrine on this is due benevolence.
This is the foundation of marriage.
Leave and cleave.
The foundation of marriage is not I like you.
Okay? The foundation of marriage is not we're friends.
The foundation of marriage is not, he makes me laugh.
She's pretty.
No, this is the foundation of marriage, is Dubin Evelyn's.
Go to 1 Corinthians 7, verse one.
Notice what it says, now concerning the things
whereof he wrote unto me, it is good for a man
not to touch a woman.
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication,
let every man have his own wife.
and let every woman have her own husband.
The Bible is saying here that the purpose of having a wife,
the purpose of having a husband is to avoid fornication.
Because fornication is a wicked sin.
Don't let the world brainwash you and think,
well everyone does it, it's not that big of a deal.
No, even if everyone does it, it's wicked as hell.
No, even if everyone out there is doing it, it's not allowed here in this church.
And you know, us as Christians, we need to care about what God actually says and God's
opinion on things, not just, well, what's popular out there?
What are people doing out there?
No, we need to avoid fornication.
We need to encourage the young people in our church to avoid fornication.
And you know the solution for that is getting married.
Look, if there's any single guys listening out there.
Get married bro lift weights brush your teeth wash your hands put on deodorant
Stop dressing like a dork
Okay, because you want to avoid fortification and kind of need a wife to do that
Okay, man, stop wearing the same color tie as your shirt, bro. It's so bad
Subwearing sneakers all the time with your suit. It looks weird. All right. All right. We're getting a little specific here
Let's let's look at what the Bible says go to Hebrews chapter 13 Hebrews chapter number 13
but look
You could have you know
Someone can make you laugh your wife can make you laugh your wife can be pretty
Oh, the husband can make the wife laugh
But look if this part of your marriage is messed up your whole marriage will be messed up
If the douban Evelyn's part is destroyed your marriage is headed for disaster
And look, I say it all the time, there's a difference between what is right and what people do.
You know what is right is till death do us part and you know for me
I will be till death do us part no matter what but let me just tell you the reality of what happens in marriage is
That people get these stupid ideas. Maybe the wife has bought into feminism. Maybe the husband's super weird in this area
I don't know what the problem is but what happens is that you're opening up the door for temptation for your spouse
And yes, they should just deal with that for the rest of their life.
But let me just tell you the reality of what most people will do though.
They won't do that.
A lot of people head into sin if this area is messed up.
Are you trying to scare me into doing what's right?
Yes.
I'm trying to scare you into doing what's right.
It should scare you the thought of your spouse not being satisfied in this area and feeling
like they need it from another source.
That should terrify you.
I mean, that's like the worst thought ever.
Literal adultery happens all the time, and it's sick and disgusting, and God merits the death penalty on that wicked sin.
But just because that's how God feels, does that mean that that's what everyone's going to obey?
No.
And so, you want to avoid that temptation, you need to do benevolence in your life.
Hebrews 13.4 says,
and the bed undefiled,
but whoremongers and adulterers,
God will judge.
Don't let the world,
or some weird sect of Catholics,
try to brainwash you into thinking
that there's something sinful about this,
there's something dirty about this,
there's something wrong with this area.
Marriage is honorable in all the Bible says.
and the bed undefiled, you know, this is an area of life that God wants you to enjoy.
He gave it to you as a gift. He gave you your spouse for you to have this physical relationship with.
But you know what? God will judge, though, is adulterers and hormoggers.
God will judge those that commit fornication. God will judge those that commit adultery.
But you know, this relationship is supposed to be enjoyed to its fullest extent in marriage.
Okay? Due benevolence. You know, I heard someone say that it just means being nice.
you know it's a little more than just being nice. It definitely is an act of kindness. I mean that's
one of the definitions of benevolence is a charitable gift or an act of kindness yet that's
a great gift that's a great act of kindness you know but it's a little more than just being nice
okay I think we know what the Bible is saying in this area but notice what it says in verse three
of I think we're still in uh yeah sorry go back to first Corinthians seven I'm meant to tell you
It says, let the husband render unto the wife, notice, do benevolence.
Likewise, also the wife unto the husband.
You want to know why this charitable gift and act of kindness is something that's due
unto your spouse?
Because you got up in front of everyone and you said, to have and to hold till death do
us part.
That's not just saying to hang out, folks.
It's to have and to hold.
That is part of the wedding vows that you swore and you know what, if you are withholding
That is fraud. God is not happy with that.
He's saying, let the husband render unto the wife,
due benevolence.
And you know, sometimes even marriages have the issue
where it's like the husband is the one
that's the problem in this area.
Where the husband is not giving his wife due benevolence,
Bible says, let him render that unto her.
And likewise, also the wife unto the husband.
Stay there, I'll read for you Genesis 2, 24, it says therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh.
This is the foundation of marriage. Verse 4 says the wife hath not power of her own body but the husband, and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body but the wife.
Hey sorry, it's not my body, my choice. It's my wife's body, my choice.
Ladies, it's your husband's body, your choice, right?
None of this weird feminist garbage where, you know, you're married to someone and they
want to bring out a consent form, you know, a legal consent form.
That's weird.
If you have to sign a consent form, it probably means you're committing fornication, so just
don't do it.
But once you get married, it's to have and to hold.
You know, this idea that this is something that is a contract that you could, you know,
work out between your spouse.
Up front before marriage happens you're saying I'm willing to do this and if you're not willing or
Wanting to have this relationship. Let me help you. Don't get married
Why because this is the foundation of marriage, you know people who cannot perform in this area
I would never recommend for them to get married
If someone has some sort of serious disability where they're not able to perform this act,
I would not recommend that person to get married because they're going to be defrauding someone
in the foundation of marriage.
I mean, you say, oh, that sounds super harsh.
No, what sounds harsh is defrauding someone for their whole life.
That's what's super harsh.
I mean, this is why you get married.
It does not make sense for someone with some sort of crazy disability to get married like
that.
Five, it says defraud ye not one the other except it be with consent for a time
that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer and come together again that Satan tempts you not for your incontinency.
So notice it should be something where it's always on the table. The default answer is yes.
It's always something that's available to both parties and you'd have to actually get consent to not
participate in this act and to not have this relationship you would be like
Hey, is it okay if we do some fasting for the Bahamas today?
We wanna have a great turnout at the Bahamas Mission Strip.
Can we do some fasting today?
Okay, honey, no problem.
That's actually how it should go down.
But it shouldn't be like, oh, you know,
if I get your nails done and I take out all the trash
and I mop the floor for you and I clean up everything
and I build us a new fence and I buy you a new car,
then do you think maybe,
Like, this is how a lot of marriages are today, where it's like some sort of quid pro quo,
where it's some sort of like, hey, I'll do all these over-the-top favors for you, I'll
go, you know, the extra mile, look, and here's the thing, men, go the extra mile, do all
the favors, buy her the coffees, rub her feet, but not to receive that in return.
It should be like, I love you.
And ladies, if your husband doesn't buy you the coffee,
doesn't build you the new fence,
doesn't buy you the new Lamborghini,
you still owe this.
This is due benevolence.
And when you withhold this, you're committing fraud.
And obviously vice versa the same if it's reversed.
You know, don't get this weird attitude.
You know, that's just like a weird power dynamic in a marriage
when the husband's supposed to be in charge.
You know, he's got to like walk through a mile of broken glass
to have his wife.
That's wicked.
You know, that's stupid.
That's a good way to destroy your marriage.
I'm warning you, it's kind of funny.
But when you talk to people that I talk to,
when you get the emails that I get, no, it's not funny.
It's not funny at all. It's very very sad, and there's a lot of marriages that are hurting really really bad today
There's a lot of people really really struggling and it's like look life is hard enough as it is
Okay, let's not let's not like be like the Catholics where we deprive ourselves of the two greatest joys in life
meet and marriage
No, okay, these doctrines of devils, the Bible says. Okay, life's hard, enjoy your wife,
enjoy the wife of your youth, enjoy your husband, enjoy some good food, like can we just live
a normal life here and not buy into this feminism that is destroying America and destroying marriages.
You know in another part of the wedding ceremony, the pastor usually says, will thou have this
To live together after God's ordinance in the holiest state of matrimony,
wilt thou love her, comfort her, honor her, and keep her in sickness and in health,
and, notice this, forsaking all others.
Keep the only unto her so long as he both shall live so notice. There's the Dubin Evelyn's aspect
But it's not like oh, yeah, you know you have the Dubin Evelyn's and on top of that you have someone else
No, that's wicked as hell and you know, there's this weird thing creeping in our society of
thruffles
or open marriages, or open relationships,
where you're with someone, they're your wife,
you're their husband, or boyfriend or girlfriend,
which is obviously terrible.
But on top of that, it's just like,
yeah, you want another guy, no problem.
We're still married, we're still good.
Go ahead and go with other guys.
Oh, you want other ladies?
No problem, that's totally normal.
No, it's keeping yourself only unto your spouse
so long as you both shall live.
You know that's unclean, that's disgusting, that's a good way to just get the judgment
of God on our whole freaking world when God's looking down and they're just destroying themselves
when everyone's naying after their neighbor's wife.
When everyone's committing adultery and fornication, when disease is rampant in the land.
Don't act like the sodomites that just lay with anyone.
Man, don't give your strength unto women.
Why don't you just award your strength to one woman?
Why don't you just be faithful to one woman and stay with her because I'm telling you
as in the carnal mind of man that they think that's worth it, that's going to be fun, that's
going to be nice, it's never true.
It's never true.
When you destroy your marriage, when your finances are shot, when you're paying child
support for a bastard kid, when you're in divorce court, when your life is a trainwreck,
it's not going to be worth that short amount of time with the whore.
Not to mention if you carry some disease with you for the rest of your life.
Not to mention that your marriage is probably irreparable for the rest of your life.
No, it's not worth it.
Stick with one person.
I take thee to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward.
Notice for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish till death do us part.
Another part of the vows you made is that you vowed to stay married no matter what.
Whether you are dirt, poor,
And you can't afford anything, and you're scraping by,
and you're living on beans and rice,
and you live in a really shady part of town
in a not very nice house,
and you drive a not very nice car,
and you struggle, and you struggle, you stay married.
You know, ladies, you don't just leave your husband because there's another guy out there
that's richer.
There's always going to be another guy out there that's richer.
By the way, man, this is a good idea to get married young because they married you for
who you are because every young guy pretty much has no money.
So this is a good idea for young men.
Get married while you're young.
You know, thank God my wife and I we haven't really had to deal with some sort of like crazy sickness or like lifelong chronic
Illness or something like that that would be very difficult and I'm sure there's some situations that are way harder than others
I mean think about men and women that get married in their 20s and their spouse dies of cancer in their 20s
You know, that's terrible.
I had a cousin like that who died in her 20s from cancer.
There's people who have tragic accidents, tragic car wrecks,
military veterans, men going off to war and coming back disfigured
and burned and without parts of their body.
Look, you said, till death do us part.
For better for worse for richer for poorer for sickness and in health, you know, do not ever leave your spouse
Guess when you can marry someone else when they die. That's it
But until then it's till death do us part. You know, it's just crazy like
Situations like I was talking about like men will go off to war and then their wife is like at home cheating on them the whole time
Like could you imagine how sick of a person you'd have to be to do something like that?
Or they come back and they're a little messed up from war.
And so she's like, ah, just find someone else.
How sick.
Or men, their wives will get pregnant,
and they'll gain weight because hello, they just had a baby.
They're growing another human.
It's like, oh, she's not 10% body fat.
See you later.
Discarded.
How shallow, how gross.
Do not ever forsake your spouse.
Go to Matthew chapter 19, Matthew chapter 19.
And remember, don't even slack to pay your vows.
Not just like, oh, I'm just grudgingly staying married,
but I hate every second of it.
No, just don't even grudgingly pay your vows.
Don't be slack to pay it.
Put your whole heart into it.
But look at this attitude people have, Matthew 19, verse 3.
The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him,
and saying unto him, is it lawful for a man
to put away his wife for every cause?
What kind of a stupid question is that?
Can you just divorce her for any reason?
How is this even a sincere question?
The answer and send it to them. Have you not read that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female?
See if Adam and Eve got divorced. What would happen then?
Well, who is Adam gonna go marry? No, that wasn't gonna work, right? Made a male and female and said for this cause
Shall a man leave father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and they twain shall be one flesh
Wherefore, there are no more twain but one flesh, what therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Leave your excuses at the door, leave your stupid, bad, liberal preaching at the door.
What God has joined together, let not man put asunder.
They say unto him, why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement and to put her away?
By the way, this is what people do when they want to make excuses for divorce.
They pull out parts of the Bible that they don't understand.
They've never read the Bible cover to cover. They don't understand the context.
They don't understand, you know, they can't find the passages of the Bible that talk about marriage.
They can't just open it and show you because they don't know the Word of God.
But these people are just bringing up some passage and they're going to twist it.
Jesus says though, He saith unto them,
Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, suffered you to put away your wives.
From the beginning it was not so.
So he's saying like, look, the only reason that this was even in existence, this exception, this clause in the Bible was because of the hardness of your hearts.
You know, it's kind of like how God never says, go marry multiple women.
God never says, oh yeah, polygamy is totally fine.
No, we just read what Jesus said, right?
That a man leaves his father and mother and cleaves unto his wife, right?
And those twain shall be one flesh.
You know, polygamy is wrong.
Yet you have places in the Bible where God says if you do take another wife
Here's how you have to treat her you have to provide for her needs
You can't diminish her duty of marriage. Is that God really saying please get have polygamy. I support polygamy
No, it's not right just like how the Bible teaches not to leave your spouse
Let not the wife depart from the husband. Don't let the husband depart from the wife
But it says but and if she depart let her remain unmarried
right? Or to be reconciled under a husband. So there's situations in the Bible where God says,
here's what I want you to do, here's what's right, but here's what to do if someone sins.
Here's what to do if someone doesn't do what was right. And so the God's plan was always never
divorced. For any reason, let not man put a thunder, but because of the hardness of your hearts
suffered you to put away your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.
He's going to make it real clear for us.
Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, not adultery, not sexual immorality,
fornication, which takes place before marriage consummation, by the way.
Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another committed adultery.
Whosoever shall marry her, which is put away, doth commit adultery.
His disciples say unto Him, if the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.
And to those people I would say, you chose to get married.
You're the one that said, I do.
You're the one that walked down the aisle, young lady.
You're the one that took his hand and said, yep, I'll be his wife.
Right? You made that decision.
So now that you've made that decision, you need to eliminate divorce from your mind.
Eliminate divorce from your heart. It's not an option folks. Look, better and I
don't hope this for anyone, but better to have a crappy marriage for the rest of
your life than be divorced. And I'm not even just saying that from a sin
perspective, which that's true as well. I'm saying that from a quality of life
perspective, that your life will be worse when you get divorced.
And you think you're real fun and free when you get divorced at 35, at 45.
Yeah, but what happens when 60 starts creeping up on you?
What happens when 70 starts creeping up on you and you're getting old and you're alone?
That sounds terrifying.
That's it.
Getting old, thankfully I've never done it, I will someday, but I've seen it happen and
it's scary.
Let's just be honest.
You know, and even middle-aged, you know, you watch Mike Tyson fight, and he's just like,
dang, even Mike Tyson doesn't have it in him anymore, you know?
His natural force is getting abated a little bit.
But look, getting old sucks, you want to do it with your spouse.
You want to have someone to support you.
You know, when one falls, you want your brother or sister in Christ to be there to pick you up, right?
Go to 1 Corinthians, or we'll skip that.
Go to Ephesians chapter 5, Ephesians chapter 5.
but just realize that divorce is a short-sighted view.
It's what people do that lack character,
that lack resolve to work on their problems,
that wanna just throw in the towel and quit.
And look, that mentality is gonna ruin
every aspect of your life,
but please do not get divorced.
I'm begging you, I've seen it happen.
Never have I seen a good outcome.
Stay with your spouse.
I take thee to be my wedded wife,
For were for better for worse for richer for poor in sickness and in health to love and to cherish till death do us part
The ladies when they say this it says to love cherish and obey till death do us part
Ephesians 5 verse 22 the Bible says
wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the Savior of the body."
Remember, ladies, you vowed, you made a promise, you made a covenant to obey your husband.
And you say, oh no, I got married in a liberal church, we didn't say those words.
Well, guess what? The Bible still says it.
So you're still, you know, you're under that.
You know, you're not going to escape that provision.
You must obey your husbands.
And look, it's what's good for you and for your husbands.
It's not like, God's coming up with this punishment for women.
You know, let's punish women by causing them to obey their husbands.
No, the law of God is not grievous.
His commandments are for our betterment.
Christ came to give us life and to give us life more abundantly.
And the Christian way of life is the best way of life.
The marriages in the world where these men are just being run by their wives, some sort
of feminist hellhole, those are crappy marriages.
Those are terrible homes.
Those type of guys go to the attic to hide from the brawling and contentious woman.
Those kind of guys go hide in the mountains and they'd rather face the bears and the
cougars and the wolves and all the creatures of the forest rather than the creature at
the brawling and contentious woman you know you know a woman like that without
discretion the Bible talks about how it's like a pig with a basically a pearl
and it's now I'm paraphrasing but you know it's like you're still a pig at
the end of the day when you're one of these brawling contentious wives that
don't want to obey your husband
Notice what it says in verse 24,
therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ,
so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Ladies, keep your vows, keep the covenant that you made.
It doesn't say, obey your husband,
if you agree with his decision.
Guess what? That's not obedience.
Obedience is when you disagree with his decision.
Obey your husband.
That means that I'll do what he said after I've argued with him for 30 minutes,
and I've screamed, and I've thrown remotes around the house,
and I've spent all his money, then I'll do what he says.
That's not obedience either.
Obedience is you obey right away with a good attitude.
That's what all people who are in obedient positions,
submissive positions in life should do,
is obey right away with a good attitude.
But husbands, verse 25 says husbands,
love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church
and gave himself for it.
That's not a small level of love
that God commands us to give our wives.
You know, loving your wife as Christ loved the church.
How much does Jesus Christ love us?
You know, it's immense.
You can't even put it into words how much he loved us,
that he would sacrifice himself on the cross.
And look, man, you should have so much love for your wife
that you can't even express it in words, right?
I mean, it's not even something you could think of.
It's just like, would you,
would Jesus sacrifice himself for the church?
Without question.
it's like would you sacrifice yourself for your wife it should just be like not even a thought process
just danger you're there it's just a reaction because you love her right and look like you said
ladies keep your vows but men keep your vows love your wife your wife deserves not just to be
Your wife deserves to be honored.
Your wife deserves to be cherished.
It's not love your wife if she cooks five-star meals, breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
It's not love your wife if she's fulfilling whatever expectation you have.
It's love your wife, period, end of story, as Christ loved the church.
Why does my wife deserve love?
Because you said, I do.
Well, she's a bad wife. Well, who knows if that's even true? Maybe you're a crappy husband.
But even if that was true, you said, I do. You said that you would love her and cherish
her for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health. It
doesn't matter your circumstance. It doesn't matter what you think about her actions. You
better love your wife.
You know, of course, and we also could deal in the idealistic situation that, hey, the
more loving that a wife is, the more obedient she is, the more respectful she is, the more
likely that your husband will love you.
And that is true, amen, right?
That's true in most cases.
But here's the thing.
I don't want men to have this mentality where they think, well, okay, so I'll award love
to my wife as long as she's doing that.
No, you just do your side, period.
And ladies, it's not, well, I'll obey if he meets all these expectations, if he rubs my feet, if he buys me coffee, if he does this.
No, it's just you obey, period.
And look, when someone in a marriage actually has the maturity and the character and the fear of God to just do what they're supposed to do,
you know, you single-handedly could make your marriage so good.
If one person is walking in the Spirit, if one person will obey what God says, your marriage can thrive.
And your husband, ladies, if you're in that situation where you're doing what's right in that situation,
your husband could be won over by the conversation of the wives.
That's what the Bible says.
It doesn't say it's ironclad guarantee.
There's some bad guys out there.
But you know what's gonna give you the greatest chance
at not only a marriage that doesn't end in a divorce,
but a happy and successful marriage?
It's very simple.
It's not hard to know what to do.
It's hard to do it.
It's husbands love your wives
and wives obey your husbands.
That's really that simple.
Go to, if you will,
We'll end it in Ecclesiastes chapter five. Ecclesiastes chapter number five
You know men love your wives consider her put her needs first put her wants first
You know don't be one of these guys as soon as you get paid you spend it all on yourself. That's childish
You know, that's that's a that's a weak leader
It's all about him, it's all about the things that he wants.
No, a real leader puts his followers first.
And though he's in charge, though he's making all the decisions, he's making all those
decisions for the betterment of his followers.
And look, as a man, your wife may not agree with all your decisions.
But if you are knowing, I am making this decision for her betterment, she just doesn't know
it, you stick with your decision.
Because guess what?
Even if you're making her mad in the moment.
If you're making a decision, if you tell your wife no,
but it's for her good, that is loving your wife.
You know, a leader that tells his followers no when it's best for them,
that is loving his followers.
And so don't think that love your wife means do whatever she said.
No, no, no, don't get this twisted, right?
Wives obey, husbands love,
but loving can sometimes mean no to.
Ecclesiastes 5 verse 4.
We'll end it here.
It says,
for he hath no pleasure in fools pay that which thou hast vowed.
Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay.
Suffer not thy mouth to cause thy flesh to sin, neither say thou before the angel that it was an heir,
wherefore should God be angry at thy voice and destroy the work of thine hands.
Look, people that break their marriage vows, not only people that just completely break
their marriage vows, but even people who are slack to pay it, that makes God angry.
And you know what? No one forced you to vow, no one forced you to promise, no one forced
you to enter in this covenant. You can't, you know, say, Oh preacher, it was a mistake.
It was an error too late for that. Right? That's why we want to tell the next generation.
Hey, be careful. It's a serious decision. Don't make it rashly. But guess what? All
of us who are married right now, you made the right decision.
And you know what the right decision is?
To stay married.
You know what the right decision is?
To keep your vows, because when you break them,
look at what at the end there says,
God be angry at thy voice and destroy the work of thine hands.
God, your prayers being hindering, being hindered, God turning away from you, your relationship
with him being severed, God punishing you, God chastising you for being a bad spouse,
let that not be us.
Let us be good husbands in this room, let us be great wives in this room, let us be the
example to the world.
We are supposed to be God's children, we're supposed to be reflections of Jesus Christ,
Wow, I've never seen a woman act like that.
She just obeyed you.
That's insane, right?
Or like, wow, there's still some men that hold heavy things.
There's still some men that are gentlemen, right?
That is attractive to the world.
And that could even lead to people getting saved,
God willing.
But we want to make sure we're Christians that keep our vows,
that we're not even slack to pay our vows.
We'll finish by reading this one more time.
I take thee to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better,
for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish ladies
and obey.
Till death do us part. Let's pray Lord. Thank you for this day. Thank you for Anchor Baptist Church
Thank you for the marriages in here
I pray that you please strengthen the relationships in this room that every marriage would have a rock solid foundation
Centered around Christ centered around
Desiring to follow the Bible and serve you I pray that you'd help the husbands to be great leaders in this room
To truly love their wives with all of their heart
and to lead for the betterment of their spouses and families.
I pray for the ladies that they would fear you
and be in submission to their husband and be a good help meet
for them. And I pray that you would bless our church with many more marriages
and many more children. We love you, Jesus. Let me pray. Amen.