You
is about that time to get started this evening. If you would find a seat, grab a hymnal and turn
to our first hymn, number 101, Jesus Never Fails. hymn number 101, 101, Jesus Never Fails.
We'll sing there starting all
heads with me.
Heavenly Father, we thank you just again for another opportunity today to gather together
and to sing praises out into your name. I pray that you'd be with those that received your word
willingly this afternoon, that called on your son's name to receive salvation, that you would just
help them not fall by the wayside and that they would get in a good church and plant some roots.
Also pray that you would be with all of us for this evening service, that you'd continue to open
our ears and our hearts to the message and fill Pastor Oz with your spirit. These things we pray
All right, our next hymn this evening will be number 112,
Be Still My Soul.
Hymn number 112-112,
Be Still My Soul.
We'll sing there on the first.
Be Still.
We'll quickly go through some announcements.
On the front of our bulletin
is our Bible memory passage of the week,
Galatians chapter one, verse two.
Definitely wanna encourage everyone
to be working on this chapter.
On the inside is our service times listed,
Sunday morning at 10.30, Sunday evening at 4.30,
and our Wednesday evening Bible study at seven.
Our soul winning times are all listed there.
And all of those meet here at the church building.
nursing home ministry schedules there, if you've partaken that, and our year-to-date
statistics as well. I do believe we had four salvations this evening, so great
job out soul winning this evening.
Also, please be in prayer for Miss Whitney Reed, our expecting lady of the church, and
there should be some information coming next week in the bulletin regarding a baby shower.
So I'll be looking forward to getting the details on that.
Upcoming events February 2nd is a men's preaching night followed by a church potluck.
So do bring a dish to share after that service, please.
May 16th through the 18th is a King James Bible Conference at Sher Foundation Baptist Church.
There's going to be lots of teaching regarding that subject there.
Durant Oklahoma Solting Marathon on May 31st with Steadfast Baptist Church.
Then a little farther out in June on the 28th we're going to have a church fellowship day
where we just hang out and have a good time at the Tinker Air Show at the Air Force Base here.
August 27th through the 31st is the Fire Breathing Baptist Fellowship.
This is going to be the the hot preaching conference of the year. I know 2025
There's going to be a pause at least for red hot
So if you usually go to that and are excited for that you definitely want to make it to the Fire Breathing
Baptist Fellowship looking forward to that.
October 6th through the 11th kind of the highlight for our year is the Bahamas
mission trip super thrilled about this we need to be praying that this goes
really well and that we can get lots of people saved during this time but I'm
really really excited for the opportunity that we have there I think that
last time we went there it was during spring break if I remember correctly and
so we didn't really have access to go into the colleges and stuff like that so
we went into the primary schools which was awesome very receptive and we got to
But I think this year we're also going to have access to the college students as well,
so it should make it for an even more receptive trip than last time, so definitely I'm excited
for that.
Giving, if you'd like to give online, there is a QR code there as well as our prayer list
on the back.
If you have any updates or new requests, please email that email address and I'd be happy
to add that for you.
That's going to be it for announcements this evening.
We'll go ahead and go to our third song.
All right, our third hymn this evening is number 121, like a River Glorious.
121, 1-2-1, like a River Glorious.
121, they're on the first.
Like a River Glorious is God's perfect peace.
offering plates are being passed this evening turn if you would to Ephesians chapter number five
Ephesians chapter number five
Good evening, Ephesians chapter number five, the Bible reads,
Be therefore followers of God as dear children and walk in love as Christ also hath loved us
and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling savor.
But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not be once named among you as become
but rather giving of thanks for this you know that no Hormunger nor unclean person nor
covetous man who is an idolater hath any inheritance in the kingdom of God, in the kingdom of Christ
and of God. Let no man deceive you with vain words, for because of these things cometh
the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. Be not ye therefore partakers with them,
For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord.
Walk as children of light, for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness
and truth, proving what is acceptable unto the Lord."
And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them for it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret.
But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light, for whatsoever doth make manifest is light.
Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light.
See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,
redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
Wherefore, be ye not unwise but understanding what the will of the Lord is, and be not drunk with wine,
wearing his excess, but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to yourselves in Psalms and hymns
and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for
all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Submitting yourselves one
to another in the fear of God, wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the
Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the
church, and he is the savior of the body, therefore as the church is subject
unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands and everything. Husbands
love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.
That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word that he might present it to himself at Glorious Church
Not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing
But it but that it should be holy and without blemish so I meant to love their wives as their own bodies
He that loveth his wife loveth himself
For no man ever yet hated his own flesh,
but nourisheth and cherisheth it,
even as the Lord of the church,
for we are members of his body,
of his flesh and of his bones.
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother,
and shall be joined unto his wife,
and they too shall be one flesh.
This is a great mystery,
but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular,
so love his wife, even as himself and the wife,
see that she reverents her husband.
That's about our heads for word of prayer.
Father in heaven, thank you for this day.
Our pastor, if we just ask that you fill our past with the Holy Spirit, help us to learn from your word and help us to have soft hearts and help us to be the best husbands that we can be and do something great.
We talked about ways that a wife can help her husband, but you know less some of you worries
Ladies got a little worried. We're are gonna talk about the men this evening
We're gonna hit them for a while. So this evening the title my sermon is attributes of a godly husband
Attributes of a godly husband. Let's start reading in verse number 21 of Ephesians chapter 5
We get some foundational doctrine here in this chapter says submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God
Now, this verse I believe is just teaching that, hey, we all have different authorities
in our life.
We all have different authorities that we submit to.
Sometimes I've heard this verse preached in old IFB churches that I attended in my teenage
years.
Erase everything else that we're going to read in this chapter and it's just kind of like what why are these other verses in the chapter then if this verse is just erasing what we're about to read this is just saying that we all have authority figures right we all have to obey the government.
The church obeys the pastor the pastor obeys Jesus parents or children obey their parents and wives obey their husbands so we all have authority in life it says in verse 22.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord.
So we see that the Bible clearly states that the husband has been given power to lead.
He's the one that's been empowered by God to lead his family and the wife is instructed
to obey her husband as unto the Lord.
the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church,
and he is the savior of the body. So the Bible even goes so far as to compare
the level of authority that a husband has over his wife to that of Christ and the church.
So that is a pretty high level of authority that the Bible is communicating here. It's not just saying like
Hey, submit to each other.
You guys have equal authority.
By the way, the husbands over the wife,
like Christ is over the church.
Like that doesn't make sense just to cancel out like that.
No, the Bible is definitely establishing authority
for the husbands.
But look at verse 24 it says therefore as the church is subject unto Christ
So let the wives be to their own husbands in everything
verse 25 says
husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and
Gave himself for it and so tonight we're talking about attributes of a godly husband
number one a godly husband is
sacrificial
A godly husband is sacrificial because notice how in this chapter God paints the picture
saying look we all have authority but God has given the authority in the home to the
man in the same way that God has given Christ authority over the church.
The wife is to obey the husband in the same way that the church should obey Jesus Christ
Did God give husbands authority just for the sake of having authority?
No, He gave that authority so that husbands could love their wives
in the same way that Christ loved the church.
And the Bible explains how did Christ love the church by giving Himself for it.
And so, while ultimately today, Jesus Christ, he has all the power.
He has all the authority.
I mean, his words are right here telling us what to do, but Jesus Christ used his authority
by sacrificing for us, by loving us, and by, you know, leading at the expense of himself.
And, you know, that's what a good husband does.
A good husband is, yes, empowered, in charge, but they use that power and authority that
and they don't always do what's best for them
or most convenient for them
or whatever's gonna be, you know,
the best thing for their life.
They use their power to make decisions sacrificially
that are the best for his wife
and best for his family at a whole.
Go to, actually, let's keep reading in Ephesians 5.
Look at verse 28.
It says,
so ought men to love their wives as their own bodies.
He that loveth his wife, loveth himself.
So notice, you're supposed to love your wife
in the same way that you just naturally take care of yourself.
And you know, this is something especially
if someone is newly married,
that men need to remind themselves
and put themselves in a new mentality
that hey, when you get married,
it's not just about you anymore.
It's not just about the things that you want to do,
the desires you have, the schedules you have,
you now have to think about another person.
And sometimes that involves sacrificing what you want to do,
sacrificing your time, sacrificing your money,
whatever type of sacrifice you make for the other person.
You know, I think that's what a good husband does,
is that he has power, he uses his power,
but he uses it to bless his family.
Look at verse 29, it says,
For no man ever yet hated his own flesh.
but nourisheth and cherisheth it even as the Lord, the church.
We are members of his body and of his flesh and of his bones.
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother
and shall be joined unto his wife and they too shall be one flesh."
So again, just talking about how no one hates themselves,
everyone takes care of their carnal needs,
everyone eats when they're hungry,
everyone takes a shower when they need to take a shower,
and so that is the same way that you should be loving your wife,
you should be sacrificial.
And kind of like when you think of an idea of like,
what's a bad husband?
What does a rotten husband look like?
I think of just a selfish husband.
I think of the husband that spends his paycheck on alcohol and his family is hungry.
I believe it was Dr. John R. Rice, don't quote me on that, but I believe it was Dr. John
R. Rice who grew up in a home where his father was an alcoholic.
If someone can correct me on that, if I'm wrong, go ahead.
One of those old preachers of old time, he wrote that his family was really struggling
when he was growing up because dad was an alcoholic, dad would spend all the paycheck
on alcohol, leaving his mother and his brethren
with little to nothing.
You know, that is not a sacrificial husband right there.
That's someone that's only concerned about himself.
And while that's a very extreme example,
you know, there's other ways that husbands
could be selfish too.
You know, even when we're just talking about finances.
I believe that the vast majority of your expendable income,
if you have expendable income,
should be blessed towards your wife and your kids.
You know, that is a good way to be a sacrificial leader,
that if you have some extra money,
you're not just immediately,
every time you have some extra money,
you're just spending that on yourself,
and on your fun toys, and on your fun activities.
But rather, if you have something extra,
why not be sacrificial and bless your wife with that?
Why not give that to your wife?
Why not give that to your children?
And not just being.
Selfish, you know men could sometimes be selfish with their time.
And I get it because men, you know, they have tough schedules, just like ladies have tough
schedules, they're working jobs, you know, I'm a pastor on top of that, I could stay
very busy, and if I'm not careful, I could just spend 100% of my time on the things
that I need to do.
And you know, it's very important that us as men, that we sometimes sacrifice things
that we're working on, maybe hobbies that you have, things that aren't a necessity to
You know, you need to make sure that you're scheduling time into your life to spend quality
time with your wife, with your children, and that's not always easy, it doesn't always
come natural.
And so sometimes you may literally have to schedule it.
You know, there's nothing wrong with literally scheduling into your time,
you know, time to spend with your family, with your wife,
because sometimes life can just get busy and that can get away from you.
But you want to make sure you're being a selfless husband putting her needs first.
Number two, another godly attribute of a husband is being a strong leader.
Look at Ephesians 5 verse 22 again.
It says,
For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is of the church and he is the savior of the body
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ
So let the wives be to their own husbands in everything
Husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it verse 26 notice that he might
Sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of the water by the word
So the Bible teaches us here that Christ
presents the church to God
spotless, blameless, and how does he do it?
He does it through the washing of the water by the word.
And so us as husbands, this is kind of a picture
of how we need to be strong leaders.
And of course, that's true in every aspect
of being a husband, just making decisions,
having a plan for your family.
But the most important area of being a strong leader
that you need to work on is being a spiritual leader.
being someone that is a strong spiritual leader.
And that's kind of why I think it brings up in verse 26
that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water
by the word.
And you know, you need to learn as a man
if you want to be a strong leader, you want to
be an effective leader of your wife, this is where it starts.
It starts with being an effective leader of yourself.
If you want to be a spiritual leader of your wife,
guess what that means?
It means you actually have to be spiritual to begin with.
That means that you can't just sit there and expect,
oh, I'm gonna be a spiritual leader of my wife,
just because I'm a man.
No, first, you need to wash yourself
with water of the word here.
You need to make sure that you're doing a good job
reading the Bible, that you know the Bible really well,
then you could step into that leadership role
and be a spiritual leader for your family.
And really, this is just being a leader in general.
You know, before you lead others, you need to have mastered leading yourself.
You know, you need to make sure that in your life as men, hey, you've mastered routines.
You're not a guy that just lives off of motivation.
You're a person who's very disciplined.
You know how to set goals and achieve them.
You know how to be a responsible person, not just once or twice, but it's just your lifestyle
Over time, you know, showing a long-term pattern of maturity, these are things that build credibility
in the eyes of your followers as a leader. And so us as men, yes, you are a leader just by virtue of
you being married, you have the power, you are the leader of your wife, but obviously you don't
want to just be in a position and just hold a title, but not necessarily be an effective leader.
You also want to be an effective leader and you also want to have credibility with your wife.
And so what that's going to take is that's going to take a long-term self-discipline
and actually showing yourself someone that is worthy of being followed.
Now here's the thing, we don't want to get this feminist idea that starts teaching,
well, wives, only follow your husband if he's worthy.
You know, only listen to your husband if you feel he's spiritually mature.
It's like I'm talking to two different groups of people.
If I'm talking to wives, obey your husbands, no matter what.
Don't sit there and criticize him and think, is he worthy of my obedience?
Should I follow him spiritually?
It's like, your job is to obey.
Your job is to follow but then if I'm talking to men I'm gonna tell them hey
you need to build some credibility as a leader. You need to actually make sure
that you're not just sitting in a title or in a position but that you're
actually showing yourself as being a worthy person to follow and that is not
easy. That's not as easy as just getting a position that actually takes
diligence over a long period of time.
Also, I heard this in a leadership class that I was in recently.
And I really liked this idea.
They were talking about the best leaders in this world.
They do two things.
They offer high support for their followers, but they also offer high challenge for their
followers.
Because sometimes you have leaders where they're really supportive of their followers, but
they don't challenge them at all.
right? You don't want a leader that's just always going to pat you on the back, always be your friend.
Yeah, he's really supporting you, but he never challenges you to do anything. He never pushes
you to your potential. And if you're never challenged, if you're never pushed, you're never
going to grow, right? And all of us could grow, all of us could work on reaching a higher potential.
And so as a husband, you want to offer your wife two things, high support,
high challenge. You have some leaders, they're all high challenge, but they're
not really supportive, right? In order to really challenge someone, and especially
in a marriage, they need to know that you care about them. They need to know that
you love them. And some husbands, it's like, well, I'm in charge, I'm the
authority, so I'm just gonna challenge my wife. And it's like, look, amen, you have
the right to do that. That's fine. And again, if I'm talking to the wife, I'm
saying, obey, no matter what.
But if I'm talking to the husband, I'm going to say here's what you should do.
Offer high challenge and offer high support.
Let her know, hey baby, I'm for you.
We're a team.
I want what's best for you.
I'm here to support you.
I would die for you.
I would take a bullet for you.
I love you more than anyone in this world.
And then sit there and challenge her and say, hey, this is what we're going to do as a
family.
We're going to serve God.
We're going to be three to thrive.
You're going to become a soul winner.
You're going to memorize the chapter, you know, at Anchor Baptist Church,
you're going to do great things for God.
You know, your wife is going to be more likely to respond well to that type of leadership
than the leadership that's like, I'm not spiritual.
I'm a crappy husband.
I'm not loving to my wife.
I'm not good at anything I do.
But let me just tell you what to do all day.
Here's the thing.
She should obey.
But I'm just telling you, like I always say, there's a difference between what's right
and what people actually do.
Let me tell you what people actually respond to.
What people actually enjoy is a leader that supports them.
They know. I know this leader cares about me.
I know that this leader wants what's best for me.
I know this leader wants me to grow to my potential.
So when they get challenged,
they actually respond to that and say,
you know what, this person's right.
I need to make a change here.
I need to work on that.
I think that Pastor Shelley was
a perfect example of a leader in my life that was like this.
Working for him and just interacting on a very close level,
on a very personal level for four plus something years,
he was a leader that offered me
High challenge. I will tell you what. I always describe Pastor Shelley as this. He's a high caliber individual. He just is he's an awesome guy
But you know what? He didn't just give me high challenge. He also gave me high support and because of that
I was like, hey, this is a guy I could follow. This is a guy I could respect and you know what?
This guy could correct me. He could be harsh with me and I'm willing to take that because I know that he actually cares about me
Now, what if you worked for a boss that was nothing but just cussing you out,
chewing you out, telling you you need to do better, you suck, you need to get better in this area?
That might motivate you for a while out of fear of losing your job, you know?
But do you really like working for that person? No, you don't, right?
But if your boss, he cares about you, he wants to develop you professionally,
he says, hey, I see something in you, I think you could grow, I think you could do better,
and he's investing into you, he's blessing you, and then he challenges you.
You could go to war for that guy.
I mean, you'll do anything for that guy.
And it's like this is the mentality
that we need to have as husbands.
Love our wives as Christ loved the church.
Does Christ ever challenge us?
You better believe he does, right?
I mean, this is a hard book right here.
There's some things in this book
that are very hard to follow.
But guess what?
He sacrificed his life for us.
He died on the cross for us.
So he has the right to tell me whatever he wants, right?
Because he showed me, hey, he loves me.
He's willing to die for me.
He's willing to do anything for me.
And so the natural response is, hey, let's serve him.
Let's serve him and that should be your response as a woman look if you have a husband that loves you
You need to appreciate that and respond with a heart of servitude and say like I am wanting to serve this man
Because he loves me because he showed me that he cares and us as men
What do we need to do? You need to show that you care you need to be a strong leader that doesn't mean just barking orders
That's the easy part of leadership
the hard part of leadership is actually investing into people to where they're
willing to respond to your leadership. Anyone can bark orders, right? Anyone can
do that. But leadership is influence. Barking orders doesn't necessarily just
influence people, right? What influences them is actually having a connection with
you and actually trusting you and that is what a good husband should do. So what
are some ways you could lead your wife spiritually? Well here's a real easy one.
Take her to church. Take your wife to church.
You know, this is a thing that sometimes I just, I hear guys,
you know, they struggle with their girl at home who's not really
wanting to be spirituals, not really interested in things of God. And it's like, look.
you got to take her to church because sometimes people have a wrong perception of what church is like
and until you actually show her until you actually get her around these people
and under the preaching of the word of God she's never going to truly understand what it's like
because sometimes and I don't blame people I didn't really grow up going to church that much
you might have an idea of churches being kind of weird or just people might be kind of stand
You know, so if you've got a wife that is struggling this area, you know, bring her to church go to 1st Timothy chapter 3 if you haven't turned there already 1st Timothy chapter number 3 1st Timothy 3 verse 15
says, But if I tarry long, that thou mayest know how thou oughtest to behave thyself in the house of God,
which is the church of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth.
Look, husbands, the house of God is the pillar and ground of the truth. That's where you should be taking your wife.
to a church that exalts the truth. Your wife needs to hear the truth. And if
you're going to be a strong spiritual leader, you got to take her to a church
where she's going to hear the truth. Not take her to a church where they're
going to worship Israel. Not take her to a church where they're going to ask her
to get saved at an altar every single service, right? They're going to actually
challenge your wife with the preaching of God's Word because here's the thing,
God's Word has power.
God's word can change hearts and it's like if you're a husband you want to lead your wife
You want your wife to get more spiritual take her to a place where she's going to get high dosages of God's word
Because that actually can make an impact on her heart another thing you could do is teach her the Bible
Teach her the word of God yourself in your home now go to first grade things 14. I'll read for you
A verse we've already read, Ephesians 5-26,
that he might sanctify and cleanse it
with the washing of water by the word.
Look, it's a good idea to have a family Bible time.
And you know, you're killing a lot of birds with one stone here because you're spending
good quality time together.
You yourself are being blessed by reading of the Word of God.
You're learning things as you're reading together.
If you have kids, they're learning the Word of God.
And of course, if you want to be a spiritual leader of your wife, she's learning the Word
of God too.
You're doing a lot of things just by getting together as a family and reading the Bible.
Now here's the thing.
The Bible says, let your women keep silence in the churches, for it is not permitted unto them to speak, but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also sayeth the law, and if they will learn anything, let them ask their husbands at home, for it is a shame for a woman to speak in the church.
Deaconesses, you know, a co-pastor couple where it's the husband pastor and the wife pastor or just churches that just straight up have a female pastor, you know, this is a wicked idea.
This is an unbiblical idea.
The Bible literally says that it's not permitted for them to speak in the church.
It's for a man to run the show, for a man to preach, for a man to lead things at the church.
But here's the thing, if a woman has a question, who is she supposed to go to?
You know, this should motivate guys to be reading and knowing the Bible, because it'd be kind of a shame if every time your wife came to you wanting to grow, wanting to ask a question, and you didn't even have the answer for her.
You know, you should be above your wife in this level.
Now, here's the thing.
I don't ever want a woman to tamp down her spirituality
or to not do as much as she can.
I just think that wherever she's at,
the husband better just be going that much harder.
Like, look, if your wife can bench press 225, that's insane.
Let's just say that she can.
I'm not saying that she shouldn't.
I'm just saying like, you better at least
be able to bench press more than 225 is all I'm saying.
You're the man, you're the leader.
If your wife knows the Bible really, really well.
Praise God for that. We don't want women to be stupid.
We don't want women to just not read the Bible.
But I'm just saying, if you want to lead her, you better know it more.
You better read it more.
And it's like, verses like this, just saying,
hey, your wife should be going to you.
Your wife should be asking you. The question is, can she right now?
If your wife came to you with a Bible question,
would you actually be able to open your Bible
and show her and explain it?
Or to be like, well, let me go online and find this sermon real quick.
And look, if that's where you're at,
at least get her the answer some way,
but you just need to realize that starting today,
your job and mission in life is to become more spiritual,
to actually be an effective leader, to read the Bible more,
to be able to help her.
Go to Joshua 24.
You know, another thing, men,
make spiritual decisions for your family.
Decide, say, you know what?
My family is gonna do what's right.
My family is going to serve God.
This is not a debate between me and my wife.
This is not something we're going to, you know,
hey, do you want to serve God? Oh, me too.
Look, those questions for when you were dating, okay?
And obviously some people get saved later in life.
I get that.
But look at Joshua 24,
verse 15.
It says,
And if it seemed evil unto you to serve the Lord,
Choose you this day whom you will serve,
Whether the gods which your fathers served,
That were on the other side of the flood,
Or the gods of the Amorites in whose land ye dwell,
But as for me and my house,
We will serve the Lord.
It doesn't sound like this was an option in Joshua's mind.
He said, you know what?
This is what we're going to do.
That's what a real leader does.
A real leader makes decisions.
Now, like I said, obviously.
In most scenarios, your follower, your wife, is going to respond a lot better to you showing
both high challenge and high support.
Don't forget that.
That's a very important thing.
But at the end of the day, let's say you as a husband, that you're doing those two things.
You're offering high challenge, you're offering high support, you're commanding your family,
I would at least, and let's say that even in that case your wife isn't following,
your wife isn't doing what you want to do, even in that case I would rather still be right with God.
And just stand before God and saying like, God, I'm loving this woman.
God, I'm leading this woman. I'm telling her what to do.
I'm offering her high support. I'm commanding my family to serve God.
If she chooses not to follow her, at least you could be clean before God,
knowing that you're doing what you can.
Because there are bad followers out there, folks.
There are terrible wives out there. There are terrible followers out there.
Not every single problem.
failure in life is a problem of leadership. Some people take this idea of
everything rises and falls on leadership, which is a truth in general.
Sometimes people take that to an extreme though. It's like no, they're rotten
people. There are terrible followers. There are people where it doesn't matter
if Moses is their leader, they're gonna be a crappy follower. They're gonna
complain. It doesn't matter if Jesus Christ is their leader, they're gonna quit on him.
They're gonna criticize him. So look, obviously, and if you're a man in that
I'm sorry I'll try to help you in any way I can but at least still be able to stand before God
saying like look I loved her and I told her what to do I said that me and my family are going to
serve the Lord if she refuses at that point you know that sucks but again the vast majority of
cases the good news the vast majority of cases that your wife will respond to high support
You know I heard in another leadership book this quote
There are no bad teams
Only bad leaders there are no bad teams only bad leaders and here's the thing there is some truth to that statement
There's some truth some general truth to that
But you know what they're actually they actually are some bad teams out there. There actually are some really bad followers out there and
That's just the reality of life look at Genesis 18 verse 17 says
And the Lord said, Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do, seeing that Abraham
shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be
blessed in him, for I know him that he will command his children and his household after
him.
You know I like that God looked down at Abraham and he said hey
I know that Abraham is going to command his children and
Command his household to keep the word of the Lord
You know that's the attitude husbands need to have is they need to go into their position as a leader and realize that the most
important function
that we have as heads of the household is a spiritual leader.
That's the most important function.
Yes, there's other things you got to do.
You got to pay the bills.
You got to feed your family.
You got to do those things.
But the biggest responsibility you have
is leading your family spiritually
and you need to be commanding your family to serve God.
And here's the thing, you know what that's gonna take?
It's gonna take you being sold out for God yourself.
You can't be this wishy-washy man
where you're halfway in the world, halfway in church,
you're halfway in the world, halfway in the things of God
and then expect someone to follow you.
No, you as a man, you need to be steadfast.
You need to be like an anchor
where you're just dug in deep to the earth.
You're not moving anywhere
and then someone could actually follow that.
Go to 1st Timothy chapter number one.
The third attribute of a godly husband is a godly husband is a provider
Godly husband is a provider. I said first Timothy one go to first Timothy five first Timothy chapter number five
First Timothy five verse eight says but if any provide not for his own and
Especially for those of his own house. He hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel
You know, sounds like this is something pretty serious to God, where God is saying, look,
if you don't provide for your family, talking about physically providing for their needs,
you know, you are actually just worse than an unbeliever.
Because we go out in this world all the time, and we meet just regular Joe Blow, Mexican
guy who's taken care of eight kids, ten kids, working a not so high paying job, he's getting
it done.
You know, it's an utter shame and embarrassment for a man not to take care of his family.
And, you know, while it's hard, believe me, it's hard right now.
There's been times that have been way harder, though, in the past.
There's been times that have been way harder, the great pressure in the United States.
You know, we do have a lot of blessings right now.
But look, whatever you've got to do, you've got to figure out a way to get it done.
God is expecting men to provide for their families.
Now, here's the thing.
It does not say that you have to provide a Lamborghini or a mansion or a yearly vacation
or daily trips to your favorite, you know, beverage store Costco or Costco. Good night.
I've been thinking about Costco yesterday. You know, Starbucks or yeah, the $1.50 Costco hotdogs
are really breaking the bank. No, those are great.
You know you don't have to provide all these crazy things look if you can praise the Lord
But you know you do need to provide the necessities of life
You do need to make sure that you're providing for the needs of your family and work hard to do that now
Some advice for young ladies if the young ladies are not married yet
You know you need to make sure that you marry someone that's a good provider
That doesn't necessarily mean especially if you're young and you marry another young guy. It doesn't necessarily mean that
This 18-year-old guy is just breaking in hundreds of thousands of dollars a year.
But what you do need to pay attention to, young ladies, who want to get married, is
you need to pay attention to the trend that this man is going in his life.
You need to make sure that this young man is going in the right direction, that he has
good character, and that he sticks with stuff.
He's not a quitter because someone that's diligent, they're going the right direction
in life.
That's a man that's going to be able to provide.
That's a man that's just going to figure out whatever he has to do.
Oh, yeah, I just hope he'll figure it out someday.
Like, no, you need to see something in him
that is gonna give you some sort of assurance
because you're in for a long ride, honey.
You know, there is a long ride for marriage
and quite honestly, the stakes are higher
for a woman getting married.
I personally believe that the stakes are higher
on a woman when she gets married than it is for a man.
Why?
Because I'm the leader.
And I'm steadfast and I'm acre and I'm just gonna I know I'm gonna do what's right
I know I'm gonna lead my family the right way and so I could sleep at night like a baby
But you know ladies getting married you are getting married and you are signing up for someone to obey for the rest of your life
You are handing over your authority
You know you had it with dad you obeyed mom and dad you're getting rid of that
You're handing that over to a man for the rest of your life and you're trusting him to provide for you
That is a very serious ordeal right there
and you know I don't recommend people just jump and get married you know with knowing each other
for a very short amount of time I don't think you just have to meet you know marry the first
guy you meet or anything like that but look you want to make sure you marry a good provider
and look at uh the trend that he is going in his life go to Proverbs chapter 10 Proverbs chapter number
He becomeeth poor that dealeth with a slack hand, but the hand of the diligent makeeth rich.
Ladies, run away from lazy men.
If you're, if you are of a dating age, if you're a dating age girl, and you are dating
a guy that you pick up vibes on, that this is a lazy person, run away from that person.
Because that person is going to end up poor.
He becomes poor that dealeth with a slack hand, but the hand of the diligent maketh rich.
I like that word diligent.
Here's the definition of diligent, constant, and earnest effort to accomplish what is undertaken.
constant and earnest effort to accomplish what is undertaken you know
that that's a steadfast person right there right someone that is constantly
over a long period of time working hard you know don't just get married to the
guy who got his first job ever last week that has not showed a long-term pattern
of being a hard worker you want to see someone who's diligent who works hard
Proverbs chapter 12 verse 24 the Bible says the hand of the diligent shall bear rule
But the slothful shall be under tribute. So here's the thing
It's not that necessarily every diligent person is is a is already in a position of leadership
But it's that if you're a diligent person that you will bear rule someday, you know
The diligent person is the guy that gets promoted at work
The diligent person is the one that becomes the manager,
that becomes the boss,
that gets promoted to higher levels in the company.
So what do you want to look for?
You want to look for a man that's diligent.
That's a hard worker,
because someday he'll bear a rule.
But the slothful shall be under-tributed.
The lazy will go to the cash-checking, sleazy stores around Southwest O.K.C. that get taken advantage of,
and they're under-tribute. They're getting taken advantage of by Jews, oftentimes because they're slothful.
Oftentimes because they are lazy. Look at Proverbs 12, 27.
The slothful man.
But, the substance of a diligent man is precious.
Just as important as making money is being good at resource management.
I mean, honestly, if I had to choose between making a lot of money, but then my family
really sucks at spending it, or making less money, and everyone's really good at resource
management, I would take the second option all day long.
Ladies, you want to look for a guy that is good at resource management, that he's not
someone that's just super wasteful, he's not just blowing money on a bunch of random stuff,
he takes care of the things that he has.
Us as men, we need to make sure we're being diligent with the resources God has given
us.
Go to Nehemiah chapter 4.
The fourth attribute of a godly husband this evening, a godly husband is a protector.
A godly husband is a protector.
Now look, fair warning, I'm about to read this verse out of its context and look, it's
okay to do that every once in a while as long as what you're still saying is true.
But I'm just letting you know that, you know, we're not talking about the context of this
story.
I just want to pull something out of this verse.
Says and I looked and rose up and said unto the nobles and to the rulers and to the rest of the people
Be not ye afraid of them remember the Lord which is great and terrible and
Fight for your brethren your sons and your daughters your wives and your houses
You know, I like this idea of fighting for your wife
Fight for your wife.
You know, we as men should not be men
that just allow our women
to just get taken advantage of,
beaten in public,
kidnapped, disrespected,
spit upon. You know, whatever
terrible things people do out there,
us as men have to be ready
to physically defend our families.
You know, this is an important aspect
of being a man is that you are
the first response
to your family when they're in danger.
We need to make sure as men that we are good protectors.
Now, here's the thing, we live in a very safe world.
We live in a world where we've been conditioned
to call other people to help us when we need help, right?
We call the police when there's a fight.
We call firefighters when there's a fire.
But you know, there's something going on in America right now.
I'm not sure if you know about it.
It's the fires going on in California.
And these are some of the worst fires the state has ever seen
as far as the total number of buildings that are lost.
There's been a lot of lives lost.
And, you know, call 911 all you want.
You know, the firefighters are overextended right now.
They're not able to help every single person because there's not enough of them.
There's not enough resources.
Call all you want.
No one's coming to help you oftentimes in these things.
And beyond that, not only is there just terrible fires going on that's just destroying communities,
but as a result, guess who comes out to play?
All the looters.
And California is actually talking about, you know, deploying the National Guard and police officers have been making arrests of just hordes of just dozens and dozens of looters going through neighborhoods, trying to kick down doors and take what they can out of these wealthy people's homes.
Because a lot of these fires are in really rich areas.
who are going around kicking down doors, looting.
What are you gonna do?
You gonna call the police?
The whole city's burning to the ground.
Like, emergency management is overextended.
You are the one that's responsible to protect your family.
And again, I try to stress this to people
because we do live in a safe world.
We live in a safe society in here in Oklahoma,
but we can never forget,
we can never forget how thin of a line it is
between our soft, cushy lives and utter chaos.
and utter violence and utter problems.
And you know, you ought not as a man
to bury your head in the sand
and think, oh, it'll always be okay.
I could always call the police.
They'll always be some other strong man to help you.
You ought to have the mentality
that you are ready to fight for your family.
You are ready to defend your wife and your children.
And look, I hope to God you never have to do that.
I hope to God I never have to,
but you ought to be prepared as a man
to turn that on in a moment's notice if you have to.
You know, that is our job as men.
Look at Mark chapter three.
Go to Mark chapter number three.
You know, here's the thing about predators.
What do predators do when they're looking for a prey?
They look for opportunity.
Opportunity.
This is true of animals and this is true of human predators as well.
Human predators do not like to pick the strongest,
most fortified human being to fight.
They like to prey on the weak,
which is why predators often prey on women
when women are alone.
I mean, how many times have we heard about
the woman at the grocery store
walking to her car alone at night?
You know, the woman on the running trail
alone in a wooded area.
Like these are areas where predators could hunt, right?
Cause they're looking for a prey.
But us as men, we wanna make sure
that we are not that opportunity for predators.
That predators look at our families,
predators look at us and say,
okay, this is a hard target, let's move to someone else.
You know, quite honestly, when I was being protested
at my house and I had just an insane number of phone calls
and emails and messages and death threats
and constantly just sodomites coming to my house
over and over and over again.
My whole life, I've really been into firearms.
I've trained my whole life.
I really enjoy that stuff.
But I never have really made any shooting videos
because I just don't care.
It's kind of just my own hobby.
But I purposely did this when I had so many
sodomites in my house, is I just started making
training videos of just me shooting at the range
just so these faggots would know like,
hey, I am a hard target.
Like, you want to come to my house.
If you want to play stupid games,
you want to have a gunfight.
While I don't want that, I will meet you
and I will beat you.
That's the message that I want to send to them.
Now, I don't want that to happen, let me make that very clear.
But as a man, I am not going to let someone come to my house
and threaten my wife and my kids.
I am not going to let someone hurt them
without giving it everything I got.
In fact, it would be over my dead body, literally.
And so I'm just like I'm just projecting that message like hey you want to come to my house and play stupid games
It is not going to go well for you
It is not going to be an easy target for you and look us as men
We should make sure that people look at us who know our lives and they say yeah, this is not a guy
That is a soft target. This is not a guy who's just going to roll over and give you everything
Look at what Jesus said in Mark chapter 3 verse 27
No man can enter into a strong man's house and spoil his goods, except he will first
bind the strong man.
then he will spoil his house. See if someone wants to break into your house
and take everything you have, you know, he needs what? He needs an opportunity to
do that. And that opportunity is taken away when the strong man of the house
is there. And so if someone who wants to pray on your family wants to break in
your house and take everything, it should be through you first. They should be
having to come through you first. And so us as men, some practical ways we could
but don't just buy a firearm, know how to use it.
Train with it and know how to use it well.
I've gone shooting with people who have carried a firearm
every day of their life for years,
and then we're at the range and they're like,
oh yeah, this is the first time I've ever shot this.
And I'm just like, that's a bad move, man.
That's not a wise thing to do.
And let me also explain something to you.
Just because you have shot a gun,
and just because you have gone to a range
does not mean that you are good.
Okay, it does not mean that you're actually skillful with that firearm, you know
I hope that you are but consider actually getting some real training
Consider actually humbling yourself and man teaching women to shoot is so much easier than teaching men to shoot because women are humble
When I taught my wife how to shoot I was blown away. She picked it up really well. She's really really good
Sometimes when I try to help men they don't listen because they're a man, you know, of course, I know how to shoot
I'm a man. That does not mean you know how to shoot
And look, here's the thing, I'm not like an expert in martial arts or anything like that.
There's guys who are probably half my size that if they're trained in these things could
absolutely destroy me because they actually know what they're doing.
And it's like the same thing with guns.
It's like just because you have a gun
doesn't mean that you are good or could win in any sort of fight.
No, you should train.
You know, I talked about fighting.
That's a good thing to learn, especially
if that's something that you have interest in.
It's also a good way to just work out and stay
active and exercise.
That's a good thing to learn.
Also, just lifting weights, being healthy,
not being overweight, not having terrible cardio.
One of the things about fighting,
I remember this in high school.
I was in a law enforcement class and we had to do this thing where we had to
Sprint 400 meters and then we had to like box someone for 90 seconds and then we
had to do 25 burpees after that and everybody's throwing up the whole time
because you know when you actually fight someone you realize how much energy it
takes out of you and like being a big guy is not enough you also need to have
endurance and cardio and it's like you don't want to be defending your family
and you're just gassed 10 seconds in you know these are things that we actually
have to take seriously as men
because this is what God expects of us to protect our families.
Now, go to 1 Kings 20, I'm going to read for you 1 Timothy 4-8.
The Bible says, for bodily exercise, profiteth little,
but godliness is profitable unto all things,
having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come.
Bible saying that bodily exercise profits little in comparison to spiritual things, okay?
What's most important the spiritual things are obviously the most important
But does this saying that there's no profit whatsoever in bodily exercise? In fact, you don't even need to exercise
Oh, you know you have I've heard this mentality this holier than now mentality. It's like well
I'm not gonna waste time working out because that's a vein. I could be soul-winning. I could be reading my Bible. It's like, okay
Holier than now, you know, let's see when you get married though and some guy wants to push you over
You're just gonna be destroyed because you're so holy that working out is so terrible. Look men work out
lift weights
Get stronger. Don't just be content being like yeah, I'm weak. I'm not athletic kind of just is what it is
No fix it
change. Put work into it. You should be exercising as a man. You should be strong.
Why? Because it's your job to protect. That's why God even created us to be
bigger than women. To begin with, is we are there to protect them. First Kings 20.
Now here's a beta male in the Bible. This is what you don't want to be, is King Ahab.
1 Kings 20 verse 1 and Ben Hadad the king of Syria gathered all his hosts together and there were thirty and two kings with him and horses and chariots
and he went up and besieged Samaria and warred against it and he sent messengers to Ahab king of Israel into the city and
Said unto him thus sayeth Ben Hadad thy silver and thy gold is mine
Thy wives also and thy children even the goodliest are mine
And the king of Israel answered and said,
My Lord, O King, according to the saying,
I am thine and all that I have.
Can you believe this story happened?
I mean, I'm reading this, I'm just like,
what kind of a man is this?
You got some guide comes up to you?
Hey, your silver, your gold is mine, your house,
oh, and your wives, and all your children.
And Ahab just rolls over and says,
I am dying and all that I have.
Sure, let's just roll over.
It's to be like, no, we're gonna fight
until one of us are dead.
That's what we're gonna do.
Because look, if you're coming to take my family,
well, I'm at least gonna try to stop you.
And if you kill me, you kill me, but I'm not gonna just
in good conscience sit here and let you take my wife,
let you take my children.
And look, this should be the attitude that we have as men
that we are not gonna let someone hurt our family.
We are not gonna allow someone to punch our wife,
hit our wife, kidnap our wife, kidnap our children,
anything that could harm them.
No, you need to step in and do something about it.
And again, we live in a polite society.
We live in a society where we call the police,
but you know, the police take a while to get there.
And a lot can happen in the time between you calling the police and the police actually arriving
and who's to say that the police when they get there are going to be good at what they do anyways.
Because I've seen a lot of fat cops and I've seen a lot of body cam footage where they suck at shooting
and they suck at doing their job.
So you know what, if some man's going to try to hurt my wife, I'm just going to step in right then and there.
What if you get arrested? I don't care.
Because I'm not going to worry about getting arrested when my wife is right here about to get hurt
My kids are right here about to get hurt. Let's worry about all that stuff later
My job is to protect, you know, we need as men to be
Protectors go to 1st Peter chapter 3 1st Peter chapter number 3
The fifth attribute of a godly husband
as a godly husband is honoring to his wife.
A godly husband is honoring to his wife.
What do I mean by that?
I mean, a godly husband's a gentleman.
You know, this is kind of a lost word
that we don't hear a whole lot in our society anymore.
But it used to be that, hey, this man is a gentleman.
That's what you wanted to strive towards as a man,
is you want to be a gentleman to the ladies
and specifically to your wife, above all ladies.
Look at 1 Peter 3, it says,
In verse 7, likewise ye husbands dwell with them according to knowledge giving honor unto
the wife as unto the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of life
that your prayers not be hindered.
So notice how the Bible says that the wife is the weaker vessel which of course is why
we're the protectors right?
Therefore, like let's disparage her for that or look down at her for that.
No, rather that's a chance for you to honor her and to be a gentleman.
What are some ways you could honor your wife?
How about this?
Show respect unto your wife.
Speak to her kindly.
Say words like, please, thank you.
This is what a gentleman does.
A gentleman speaks kindly to women and especially to his wife.
Look at Song of Solomon.
Go to Song of Solomon chapter four.
You know, make sure you're doing things like praising your wife.
This is what a gentleman does.
A gentleman speaks positively of his wife to his wife.
You know, a gentleman is not going out disparaging his wife, talking crap about her to his friends,
talking crap about her to his parents.
You know, a gentleman is going to respect his wife, show honor to her, speak well of
her and to her.
Behold thou art fair, my love. Behold thou art fair. Thou hast doves, eyes within thy locks. Thy hair is as a flock of goats that appear from Mount Gilead.
You know, this is what ladies like to hear. Thou art fair.
You know, us guys, we don't care because we know we're ugly and we don't give a rip about it. But ladies, they care.
And they constantly want to be told, thou art fair, thou art fair, fair.
That's what they want to hear.
Look at verse two.
Thy teeth are like a flock of sheep that are even shorn, which came up from the washing,
where of every one bear twins, and none is barren among them.
Sounds like this lady did not do meth.
She's got decent teeth.
I don't know if she had braces or what.
Verse three, thy lips are like a thread of scarlet, and thy speech is comely.
or like a piece of a pomegranate within thy locks.
You know, he's complimenting the way that she speaks.
You know, don't make fun of your wife for how she talks, okay?
Compliment your wife for how she speaks.
Verse four,
Thy neck is like the tower of David,
build it for an armory,
whereon there hang a thousand bucklers,
all shields of mighty men.
Thy two breasts are like two young rows that are twins,
which feed among the lilies.
Go to chapter number seven, chapter seven of Song of Solomon.
So notice constantly here,
Solomon's just praising his wife,
praising everything about her,
her breasts, everything about her.
He is liking his wife and he's letting her know that.
And look, there's nothing filthy about this
because this is in the Bible.
Okay.
Don't get all bashful on me now.
Don't get all embarrassed on me now.
We talked about this morning how the old IFB has done a disservice, not talking about
this stuff.
But you know what?
I'm pretty sure the men this morning appreciate a sermon where I'm like, hey women, be with
your husbands.
And I'm pretty sure the ladies appreciate a sermon this evening where it's like, hey
man, compliment your wife on her head and her neck and her breasts and everything about
her.
Okay.
Because let's just be honest, everyone is agreeing with everything that I'm saying
right now.
Unless you're a feminist.
How beautiful are thy feet with shoes?
I always crack up at that verse
because I'm like, he gave that caveat there.
He's just like, man, you got beautiful feet with shoes.
It's like, don't take those things off.
He's softening the blow a little bit.
Oh, Prince's daughter, the joints of thy thighs are like jewels.
The work of the hands of a cunning workman.
Thy navel is like a round goblet, while that is funny to me.
Like, I would not compliment my wife
on how her belly looks like a round goblet or something,
which wanteth not liquor.
Thy belly is like a heap of wheat.
set about with Lily's different times here, for sure.
I had two breasts or like two young rows that are twins.
I think that one was pretty timeless
throughout all cultures.
But you know, some of this, you know, man,
I'm not saying you need exactly verbatim quote
song of Solomon here,
but the spirit of the law here is compliment your wife.
Make her feel loved, make her feel respected,
be a gentleman.
Here's another thing practice chivalry you want to be someone that's honoring to your wife practice chivalry
What does that mean opening doors?
carrying heavy things
Doing the unpleasant tasks at home that no one else wants to do
You know you open that tornado shelter and you suck the spiders out of that thing and you clean that thing out because you know
What your wife doesn't want to do it?
you know, standing out in the heat and doing the lawn work
and working on the house, you know, those are tasks that mostly men
take care of, and rightly so. You know, we want to be gentlemen to our
ladies. You know, when it's pouring rain, drop
your wife off at the front of the building. Don't be like, you know, parking
as far away as you can. I like to park far away.
I like to back in. I like to park far away. I don't want people around my
vehicles.
But you know, if it's raining super hard, we're gonna go ahead and drop off the
wife at the front.
and then we're gonna go park and we'll meet her inside.
That's being chivalrous, that's a good thing to do.
Be thoughtful as men, don't forget anniversaries,
don't forget dates, don't forget things that you've planned,
don't forget commitments you've made.
These are things that ladies value very highly.
And I think that in general,
ladies probably value these things more highly than men,
but you know how you could be honoring a gentleman to her
is show that you value those things as well.
To honor your wife to be a gentleman. Don't let yourself go
Don't let yourself go physically
You know, oftentimes this is something that's pointed at wives, but you know what, this
should be for both sides.
You as a man, your wife married a certain man, you know what, don't let yourself go.
And this is a double, you're getting double benefit here.
You're becoming a better protector, you're becoming more healthy, and you're becoming
more comely in the eyes of your wife.
You know, you want to make sure that you keep your wife happy, and so men, don't let yourself
Practice good hygiene, brush your teeth, wash your hands, shower, put on deodorants.
You have to say these things very specifically sometimes.
Your wife doesn't want to remind you of this stuff, okay?
So I will remind you to practice good hygiene and don't let yourself go.
Number six, go to Exodus chapter 20, Exodus chapter 20, attributes of a godly husband.
faithful. A godly husband is faithful. You know, women like to feel safe, women like
to feel secure, and one of the ways that you can make or feel that way more than anything
is by just being a faithful husband in all areas of life. But look at Exodus 20 verse
14. It says, Thou shalt not commit adultery. You know, this is one of the 10 commandments.
And this is a very grievous sin, and it is a sin that is very, very common in our world.
And it is a sin that is very, very common, even among Christians.
You know, that is a shame. That is an embarrassment.
It makes me sick to my stomach to think of that wicked sin.
But you know what? God says,
Thou shalt not commit adultery.
If you are a married man, you need to erase the possibility
and the fantasies and the daydreams of other women out of your mind forever.
That is done, I've made my choice, I'm married.
Get that out of your head.
Because sometimes people just fantasize about this all day.
They think about it all the time.
And what they're thinking about,
what they're musing in their heart,
sometimes leads to actions down the road.
You need to be content with the wife that God has given you
and not go around thinking and fantasizing about other women.
You know, here's a practical tip.
Don't even flirt with other women.
What's a work wife? It's the woman at your workplace that you flirt with that you get romantic with outside of the home
You know what every interaction that you have with another woman should be strictly professional
Because let's be honest in the workplace. It's probably rare that for a person to just never work around another girl
Or interact with the female of any sort
But you know what if you in if you're a married man and you're interacting with a woman it should be strictly professional
Don't be too nice
Men right obviously be a gentleman be respectful to women you can be kind
But there's a difference between being kind to a woman and flirting, you know
And you don't want to even cross that you don't even want to get close to that line wherever it is
You know keep your relationships with other women a hundred percent professional
Maintain a professional demeanor go to Proverbs chapter 5
Proverbs chapter number 5
Because here's the thing
Even if you never cross that line fully into just full-blown adultery
You want to make sure, as a husband, that your wife feels secure and a husband that is just constantly flirting with other women
and constantly just fantasizing about this, even if you haven't committed adultery, your wife could feel insecure.
Your wife could feel like that is on the table for you, which could cause serious issues in your marriage.
Look at Proverbs 5 verse 18.
Let her be as the loving hind in pleasant row, Let her breast satisfy thee at all times,
And be thou ravished always with her love.
Why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman,
And embrace the bosom of a stranger?
Do not be ravished with another woman.
Don't think about her. Don't touch her. Don't flirt with her. You know, don't go down that road
You are going to regret it. You are going to experience
Massive pain and regret and look no one commits adultery and thought and thinks at the end of it like oh, yeah
That was worth it. That was great. You know, no one gets divorced in their 30s or 40s
and blows up their family because they committed adultery
and loses their assets and has their paycheck garnered
for the next 18 years and thinks,
yeah, that was totally worth it.
You know, no one gets even remarried
and thinks that was worth it.
A lot of times people, even when they get remarried,
they say like, I should have just stayed
with my first spouse.
And so, but where does it start though?
It starts with men not being faithful in their hearts
or women if they're committing adultery, same thing.
And often it starts with you being ravished
in your heart with another person.
Avoid it go to Proverbs 6 verse 20 or Proverbs chapter 6 verse 23
The Bible is going to give us an admonition here of who we should avoid
Verse 23 says for the commandment is a lamp in the law's light and reproofs of instruction are the way of life
To keep thee from the evil woman from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman
Beware, if a woman flatters you, that is an evil woman.
When some woman that you don't even know that just comes out of nowhere, some co-worker
of yours, all of a sudden starts just laying on the flattery, she doesn't know you.
She doesn't care about you.
What she is, is she's evil, is what the Bible says.
And sometimes men are just so prideful, because men want to be honored, men want to be respected,
Because what you don't want is you don't want that to be given from the strange woman
Where all of a sudden the flattery comes out from the strange woman and a man lets his heart be taken with that
No, if men if a woman is flattering you run away
Realize that she's bad. She tells you you're good-looking. She's lying. I've seen all of you. She's a liar
Okay, don't listen to her flattery. You're not that muscular. You're not that good-looking. You don't make that much money
Maybe some of you make pretty good money. Okay, but look she's a flatterer and the Bible says she's evil
She's evil. Look at verse 25. What should we do lust not after her beauty in thine heart?
Neither let her take thee with her eyelids
When you recognize a woman showing these tendencies,
realize that you are in dangerous territory.
Why is it dangerous?
Because, let's be honest, men are weak in this area.
This is the area that men struggle in,
and when you notice that a woman is like this,
okay, stop.
Don't lust after her beauty in your heart, because when you do that, you're starting to get even closer to a more dangerous attitude.
Don't let her take you with her eyelids when she gives you the look she's trying to give you.
Don't give it back. Don't give into it. You know, Joseph, when the woman wanted him, when Potiphar's wife wanted him in this way, he literally ran away.
Why? Because this is not a temptation that men can even fight. It's a temptation that you could run away from.
You can't sit there and just resist this temptation.
You just have to get away from the temptation 100%.
And you don't even want to play with this.
You don't even want to go down this road whatsoever.
Verse 26,
For by means of a hoarse woman,
a man is brought to a piece of bread.
She will wreck your life.
She will destroy everything that you've built.
And the adulterous will hunt for the precious life.
Can a man take fire in his bosom and his clothes not be burned can one go upon hot coals and his feet not be burned
Look if you play with fire long enough, you will get burned
You can't just sit here and pick up coals and play with fire and not eventually have
an accident here where you're going to burn yourself.
And that's what the Bible is describing.
It's the same thing playing games with the adulterous woman, with the strange woman.
When you play these games and you give in to the flirting and you give in to the looking
and you give in to the conversation longer than you should have.
You know what?
You keep playing with that fire, eventually it's going to burn you.
The Bible is saying that there's not an exception to this.
Fire in his bosom, what's gonna happen?
He's going to be burned.
So the answer is just stay away from these women,
bring up safeguards in your life
to where you could make this as close to impossible
as possible.
You know, there's been even instances where.
not the fault of the lady whatsoever but I found myself in situations when I was
working from set fast where like a lady just forgot something at church real
quick and she's had to get it and it's like I literally just was on the phone
with my wife with the phone in my pocket not because I think that she meant
anything by it or is anything weird but it's like I just want to have the most
above and beyond transparency and safeguards in my life so that I can
never even be accused of something like this
or God forbid, even be tempted by something like this and go down that road.
I'm just going to make it as extremely, you know, safe as possible.
And you know, I'd rather be living in that type of world than in a world
where I'm playing with fire, because eventually any man with red blood
in his veins plays the fire long enough, he's going to get burned.
That's just reality.
Verse 29, so he that goeth into his neighbor's wife,
whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent.
Men do not despise a thief if he's steel to satisfy his soul when he's hungry
You know if someone steals my lunch and they're starving to death
I might be a little annoyed, but I'm not gonna like hate the person over and I'm not gonna despise the person be like
All right, man. You were starving. You stole my lunch. Okay. No big deal first 31
But if he be found he shall restore sevenfold. He shall give all the substance of his house
But who so committed adultery with a woman lacketh understanding
He that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.
He's saying, look, it's one thing stealing food
when you're starving to death,
but you go commit adultery,
you're not understanding something buddy.
Something's not clicking in your head.
This is a much different situation.
A wound and dishonor shall he get
and his reproach shall not be wiped away.
Can people who commit adultery be saved?
Yes.
Can they be forgiven?
Yes.
But you know what, there's a stain on your life
that cannot be wiped away.
Which by the way is why I don't think any pastor should ever be a pastor if they've ever committed adultery at any time in their past
I don't care if it's 30 years ago. If a man is committed adultery. He is unfaithful
He's not blameless. He has that a reproach that shall not be wiped away
I do not think anyone who's ever committed adultery should be in the ministry full-time as a pastor deacon evangelist something like that
You know that is you know, maybe deacon evangelist is a different story, but I'm specifically talking of a pastor
Notice what it says in verse 34.
For jealousy is the rage of a man.
Therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance.
He will not regard any ransom.
Neither will he rest content, though thou givest many gifts.
It's like, look, if you steal a guy's lunch
and you're starving, he might be ticked off,
but he's not gonna hate you.
He's probably going to forgive you.
Yeah, you got to pay it back.
And that's something that you could be forgiven of and live down.
But when you commit adultery, that's
not something that you're going to live down.
And in fact, the man's going to be so full of rage
that you could give him any ransom, any gift.
Nothing will satisfy his anger.
And he might just literally kill you.
And you know, there's tons of stories out there of people getting caught in adultery
and literally getting killed on the spot.
You know, my wife knows someone from her childhood that ended up committing adultery
and the husband walked in and shot her in the face.
And she survived but she's walking around all disfigured because she committed adultery not saying that's a good thing to do
I like obviously don't do that
But here's the thing I'm just saying like when you commit adultery you're gonna piss people off
You're gonna piss people off the husband if you're with some other man's wife
Or even just you as the spouse of the person that person might just take out all the anger on you
But the point is this is not something to play around with it's not it's not a game
There's gonna be serious
Jealousy and rage in this situation
You know what that is a dangerous situation go to Hebrews chapter number 11 Hebrews chapter 11
But here's the thing if you are unsatisfied with your marriage if you are having issues
Do not just throw in the towel and go commit adultery
Do not just throw down all the years and all the time and all the love and effort and energy
that you've invested and just throw it down the trash committing adultery.
You know what?
That's such a short-sighted and foolish decision for such a short moment of pleasure just destroying
your marriage.
No, rather, why don't you work on your marriage?
Why don't you invest into it?
Why don't you fight for your wife?
Why don't you invest good rather than, you know what,
I'm just not satisfied with it.
So I'm just going to blow it all up and commit adultery.
You know what, that's a weak person that does that.
That's a really weak person.
You know what, people like to brag about,
guys like Andrew Tay, they brag about how much,
how many women they've been with,
how many times they've committed adultery.
You know what, that's not hard, buddy.
That's the easy thing to do.
You're a loser.
You're a scumbag, you know bragging about being loose in this area is nothing to brag about because that's honestly just super easy for a person to do.
That's what the world does because it's what comes naturally.
You know what? Tell me when you've been married for 30 years, 40 years faithfully.
Tell me when you made it to your death bed and you've never cheated on your spouse.
I'm gonna say now that's a person I could respect.
Hey, that's a person that actually has some discipline and love and love for God and love for their wife
And actually is not super short-sighted. Look at Hebrews 11 verse 24
By faith Moses when he was come to years
Refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God
Than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season
See sin
is pleasurable, that's why people do it.
There's gotta be some sort of feelings of pleasure.
When you do drugs, there's feelings of pleasure
when people drink, there's feelings of pleasure
when people go out and commit adultery and fornication.
But you know what, those feelings of pleasure
are for a season, they're for a short time.
And the pain and suffering and consequences
that come as a result of sin lasts infinitely longer
than the short moment of pleasure.
And so it's so foolish to sit there and think like I'm not satisfied with my marriage right now things are hard
I'm just gonna commit adultery. You know what? I guarantee you you come back to this sermon after it happens
I hope it never does but I guarantee you you will regret it
You will regret it. Don't do it. Do not commit adultery
Go to Mark chapter number 10 mark chapter number 10
You know conclusion, you know marriage is a gift from God
Marriage is a beautiful institution that God has given us.
You know, we don't want to give up on marriage.
We don't want to disparage this great institution.
And you know, unfortunately today, because of all the bad teaching
from churches and brainwashing from the world,
you know, a lot of people are struggling in marriage right now.
There's a lot of divorce going on.
You know, I just want to encourage you this evening
that if you are struggling to not give up
to implement some of these things in your life,
Don't give up on marriage.
Don't give up on the institution of marriage.
Look at verse number two of Mark 10 and says,
and the Pharisees came to him and asked him,
is it lawful for a man to put away his wife, tempting him?
And he answered and said unto them,
what did Moses command you?
And they said, Moses suffered to write
a bill of divorcement and to put her away.
And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart, he wrote through
this precept.
But from the beginning of the creation, God made them male and female.
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and they
twain shall be one flesh.
So then they are no more twain but one flesh.
What therefore God hath joined together?
Do not give up on your marriage
Do not ever get divorced to your spouse. Do not blow up your marriage by committing adultery
You know continue to invest in your marriage. God has given us this institution for a reason
It's a blessing and here's the thing don't walk away from the two sermons that we've had on marriage today
Don't walk away and man thinking like man. I really hope my wife was listening to the morning sermon
I really hope she just implements everything
the pastor Oz was talking about.
Ladies, don't walk away from the sermon tonight
and be like, man, I really hope my husband
was paying attention to what pastor Oz was saying.
I really hope he starts hitting the gym
and opening the door for me.
Now, man, do those things.
But here's the thing, walk away from these sermons
thinking, how can I be a better spouse?
How can I be a better husband?
If you're a lady, how can I be a better wife?
The only thing that you can control in marriage
is yourself.
It's the only thing that you can control and it's like it when there's at least one person trying
You know your marriage has a chance. There's hope in the future
You know there's gonna be times in the marriage when the husband's feeling low when the husband's failing not doing as good of a
Job of a spouse there's gonna be times in marriage where the wife is failing not doing a good job
But you know what both of you should just at least never give up
Never give up on your marriage. Keep working on yourselves.
Men, try to institute the attributes of a godly husband.
Ladies, try to help your husband. Let's have a word of prayer.
Lord, thank you for this day and thank you for the institution of marriage.
I do pray for all the married couples in this room that you would strengthen their marriages,
that you would help the love that they have for each other to grow stronger and stronger
over the years.
I pray for them to have an unbreakable bond.
I pray that they would all center Christ in their life and that they would seek to be
good servants of Jesus Christ together.
I just pray that ladies would be submissive to their husbands and that husbands would be godly leaders leading for the benefit of their wives and children.
I pray that you give us all grace when we fail as spouses and just help us to never quit and never give up on our spouse.
We love you, Jesus, and we pray. Amen.
Alright, the last hymn this evening, if you'll grab a hymnal, it's number 131, Christ is all I need.
131, 131, Christ is all I need.
We'll sing there on the first.
Christ is all I need.