Amen.
All right, 3 John, I want to focus beginning in verse number 3 where the Bible reads,
For I rejoiced greatly when the brethren came and testified of the truth that is in thee.
Even as thou walkest in the truth, I have no greater joy than to hear that my children
walk in truth.
And the title of my sermon this morning is When Children Go Astray.
When Children Go Astray.
The Bible's telling us here that the greatest joy is when your children walk in truth.
And so if we were to flip that over, it could be a great heartbreak when your children do
not walk in truth.
When children go astray, this is a great heartbreak.
The Bible says the father of a foolish child has no joy.
But then there's no greater joy when you hear that your children walk in truth.
Now none of my children have gone astray.
I don't believe any of my children are going to go astray.
But many people do have wayward children.
And what I want to show you first of all is that even a good Christian can have bad children.
Flip over if you would to 1 Samuel Chapter 8.
There are lots of examples of this in the Bible.
But even a good Christian can have bad children.
And so I'm sure there are many people in the auditorium this morning who this applies
to right now.
You've got children that have gone astray.
Doesn't make you a horrible person.
Doesn't make you wicked or evil.
And if it doesn't apply to you today, God forbid, but maybe in the future some day,
this sermon will apply to many people that are seated here or maybe this has applied
to you in the past and your children have come home to being good Christians and praise
the Lord for that.
But I'm sure that this sermon is going to be applicable for a lot of people if not today
then tomorrow and if not tomorrow then yesterday.
So what do we do when our children go astray?
First of all, let me prove to you that even a good Christian can have bad children.
Look at verse number 1 of 1 Samuel Chapter 8.
And it came to pass when Samuel was old that he made his sons judges over Israel.
Now the name of the firstborn was Joel and the name of his second Abiah, they were judges
in Beersheba.
Watch this.
And his sons walked not in his ways but turned aside after lucre and took bribes and perverted
judgment.
Boy, this is an embarrassment.
This is a shame.
None of us wants our children to grow up and turn aside after filthy lucre and take bribes
and pervert judgment.
No one wants their child to grow up and be a crooked judge or a crooked politician like
these guys are.
Then all the elders, verse 4, of Israel gathered themselves together and came to Samuel under
Ramah and said to him, Behold, thou art old and thy sons walk not in thy ways.
Now make us a king to judge us like all the nations.
Now we can talk about a lot of the reasons why possibly Samuel's children went bad.
We know for sure Samuel is a godly man.
We know that he's righteous.
The Bible has great things to say about him but he wasn't perfect.
And I believe that his parenting was probably deficient in some way.
One of the things I see is him making his sons judges.
I don't think that was a good idea.
Throughout the Bible, we don't see the office of a judge being something that's hereditary.
It's picked on merits.
It's based on being a godly man, not, oh, my dad's Samuel, so boom, I'm a judge.
So I think that's one thing you could point to is that a novice who is put in a position
of authority, the Bible says they could be lifted up with pride and fall into the condemnation
of the devil.
And so I don't think these guys had earned the office of being a judge.
I think it was just handed to them by dad.
And I think that that could be an issue.
Another issue is we see that Samuel traveled in a circuit preaching all over the nation
of Israel.
You know, it's possible that he wasn't spending a lot of time at home.
And this is a little bit of speculation but when you see him just continually traveling
and he didn't have airplanes and cars like we have today where he could just go preach
somewhere and be back 24 hours later, I mean, we're talking about he's probably gone for
weeks or months or whatever.
We don't know the whole story but the point is Samuel's not alone.
We could look at kings, we could look at prophets, we could look at men and women of God throughout
the Bible whose children went astray, okay, even if they were good people.
So that tells me that being a good Christian is not enough to ensure that your children
don't go astray.
You also have to do some serious parenting, all right?
But again, you know, we don't know all the reasons.
I don't wanna spend the sermon talking about the reasons as much as I wanna spend the sermon
talking about how to handle it, you know, what do we do if we're in that position, right?
So first of all, I wanna differentiate between three levels of going astray instead of just
painting with a broad brush and talking about children going astray, I'm gonna give you
three different levels of this that are very different from one another.
And I've got some illustrations to help illustrate this but first let me just give you the three
levels of going astray.
One way that your children could go astray is if they're saved but they're involved in
serious sin.
I'm talking about, you know, they're a drunk, they're an extortioner, they're like Samuel's
sons or whatever.
So it's not that they're unsaved, it's just that they're out fornicating, drunk, totally
away from the Lord, living according to the ways of this world, just saved but very sinful,
okay?
We would say that child has gone astray, obviously, even if they're saved.
Number two, what if you have a child that's unsaved, okay, they're not saved.
And then number three would be having a child that's actually just a God-hating reprobate
and that's obviously a worst-case scenario, okay?
So we have the backslidden Christian who's living in sin, we've got the unsaved child
and then we've got the child that's just a God-hating reprobate.
So I brought some illustrations just that way as I'm referring to this throughout the
sermon we'll have like a visual aid.
So to represent the, you know, just God-hating reprobate here, you know, I'm using a different
drink to represent each one.
So this is beer, all right?
Now I'm not saying people who drink beer are reprobates, I'm just saying this is like a
reprobate drink, you know what I mean?
There's no good that comes from this bottle of Natty Ice that I've got here on the pulpit.
Now I didn't want to actually go buy a bottle of beer so this is actually fake, this is
a decoy, believe it or not, I know it looks real, okay.
Then we got the one who's unsaved but not, they're not reprobate, but they're not saved,
all right?
So we got some near beer here, okay, so we got O'Doul's, all right?
And then I've got here to represent the backslidden sinful lame Christian, I've got a caffeine-free
diet coke because what could be more lame and tasteless and watered down and fake than
lame backslidden watered down Christians, right?
Spew that out of my mouth, amen?
And then, you know, this is what we want our children to turn out like, something like
this, you know, Martinelli's sparkling apple cider, right?
But you know what?
This is what some people's kids turn out like, one of these three things, all right?
So we got the, you know, the reprobate over here, we got the, just the one that's unsaved,
they're not reprobate, you know, but they're unsaved, they're bad, you know, but, you know,
there's hope, okay?
You could maybe use it in fondue or something.
And then over here we've got just the tasteless salt that has lost its savor over here of
the caffeine-free diet coke, so I hope that these three things will kind of help as I
preach just to have something to kind of physically point to here.
Okay, so flip over to 1 Samuel 2, verse 22, and let me just, while you're turning to 1
Samuel 2, let me just point out a few things that, you know, let's say you got saved later
in life.
Well, you know, there's a pretty good chance that you've got unsaved kids because maybe
you weren't even saved when you were raising them, right?
I'm not going to ask for any raises of hands on these, but I guarantee you the scenarios
that I throw out here this morning, there's probably going to be somebody here out of
everybody who's here that this would apply to, all, probably all three, all of the above,
somebody this would apply to, but, you know, let's say you got saved later in life.
Well, then it's quite possible you could have one of these kids if you got saved later in
life because you didn't even believe the gospel yourself when you were raising them.
You didn't know, you know, and so here you are, you get saved later in life, your kids
are already teenagers, your kids are adults, you don't even really have as much of a chance
to reach them before they're out in the world making the wrong decisions and so forth, you
know, or maybe with this guy right here, you know, maybe you did the right things, but,
you know, people can fall into sin.
Temptations are out there and, you know, maybe you raised your kids right, but somebody just
gets allured by the things of this world, starts getting distracted by the wrong things
or whatever and goes down this road.
Now, I will say this, I believe that if you actually raise your kids in church and I mean,
and I'm not talking about some watered down church, I'm saying if you have your kids raised
in a church where the gospel is being clearly preached, they've been exposed to clear presentations
of the gospel repeatedly, maybe they've even been out soul winning as a silent partner
and just they've heard tons of good preaching and they grow up in that Christian home and
then they just start saying, oh, the Bible's trashed about, you know what, I guarantee
you they're this person right here.
If you grew up in a Christian home where you're being taught the things of God consistently
and clearly and you grow up wanting nothing to do with it, you're this guy.
That's a reprobate.
Okay.
Now, let's say somebody didn't grow up with a real clear presentation of the gospel.
Maybe they're just unsaved, but they're not a total God hating reprobate.
Okay.
And then, of course, this is the one that's saved but backslid.
So let's first of all talk about, you know, this guy over here.
You know, how do you handle your child being a complete reprobate?
God forbid, this is like every parent's nightmare, worst case scenario.
Well, look what the Bible says in 1 Samuel chapter 2 verse 22.
Now, Eli was very old and heard all that his sons did unto all Israel and how they lay
with the women that assembled at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation.
These guys are reprobates.
Eli's sons, you know, Samuel's sons, they might have been this guy for all we know.
Okay.
But Eli's sons are reprobates because the Bible specifically tells us that they were
sons of Belial.
Belial is the devil, Satan, Belial, Bel, Beelzebub, Bel, okay.
And they were specifically called out as being the sons of Belial.
They did not know the Lord.
The Lord wanted to destroy them, it says.
And so we know they're a reprobate.
The type of things they're doing, they're actually using church to troll for just multiple
encounters of fornication.
I mean, they're basically laying with, what does the Bible say there?
Laying with the women that assembled at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation.
What could be more wicked than going to church and just finding the Christian girls at church
to just fornicate with them one after the other?
I mean, these guys are rotten.
Not only that, but they're also stealing from the offering.
I mean, they're just really rotten.
Look at verse 23.
Here's Eli's reaction to his reprobate sons, okay.
And he said to them, why do you do such things?
For I hear of your evil dealings by all these people, name my sons.
For it's no good report that I hear.
Not like, you're wicked, it's an abomination, you filthy, what the bleep is wrong with you?
It's like, no, no, no, it's actually just, well, I mean, it's not a good report that
I'm hearing.
Do you see how soft he's being here?
He's weak.
Well, it's no good report, yeah, that's an understatement.
You make the Lord's people to transgress.
If one man sin against another, the judge shall judge him.
But if a man sin against the Lord, who shall entreat with him?
Notwithstanding, they hearken not unto the voice of their father because the Lord would
slay them.
Would means wanted to.
The Lord wanted to slay them, okay.
So we see this.
Now, let's get the Lord's commentary on this, okay.
Jump down to 1 Samuel chapter 3 verse 11, and let's get the Lord's commentary on Eli's
parenting and his speech to his sons.
Verse 11, the Lord said to Samuel, behold, I will do a thing in Israel at which both
the ears of everyone that heareth it shall tingle.
Then that day, I will perform against Eli all things which I have spoken concerning
his house.
When I begin, I will also make an end.
For I have told him that I will judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knoweth,
because his sons made themselves vile and he restrained them not.
Same word in Romans 1 about reprobates, the vile affections, right, when it talks about
the Sodomites having vile affections, he's saying, look, they made themselves vile and
he restrained them not.
Now look, God's pretty mad at Eli, and there's no record that Eli himself participated in
this kind of sin.
From what we read here, God's not mad at Eli because of what Eli did.
God's mad at Eli for what he's allowing his children to do, that he's not restraining
them.
And look what the Bible says in verse number 14, therefore I have sworn unto the house
of Eli that the iniquity of Eli's house shall not be purged with sacrifice nor offering
forever.
Look, God holds us responsible for what goes on in our house.
In our house, God holds us responsible.
I believe that if these reprobate sons of Eli, if he would have said, hey, you guys
can't be priests, you guys can't serve in the temple, in fact, I'm throwing you out
of the church because fornication, according to 1 Corinthians 5, requires you to be thrown
out of the church.
I'm throwing you out, get out of here, I'm gonna call you out for the rotten, vile scumbags
you are.
Get out!
I don't believe that Eli's house would have been punished.
Now look, that doesn't mean that Eli did everything right as a parent, it doesn't mean that he's
completely without fault here, but you know what it would mean?
At least he's having the right reaction to it and he's stopping it from going on.
But allowing them to keep their position as assistant pastor, deacon, you know, where
they're in the house of God, where they're praying on women and stealing from the offering,
he knew it was going on.
And yeah, he spoke against it, but he allowed it to continue, didn't he?
You know, talk is cheap.
It's not enough to just tell your daughter, hey, don't go out of the house dressed like
that, that's no good outfit, I see.
And then it's like, well, it's not my fault she dresses like a whore.
You know what, you are responsible for what goes on in your house.
It's your responsibility to make sure that your children don't make themselves vile and
do all these wicked things and these horrible things.
We have to rule our house, the Bible says.
To rule our house, not just say, well, you know, I mean, I'm just hoping the Holy Spirit's
going to deal with them about this thing of, you know, fornicating.
You know, I'm praying for them that they'll stop stealing from the offering, or what?
I mean, look, that's not enough, okay?
And so I submit to you, and the Bible's clear on this, there's plenty of scripture we can
turn to that, you know what, if your children grow up to be reprobates, you should have
nothing to do with them.
You should put them out of your house and have nothing to do with them.
Why?
No good can come from having this in your house.
That's why I didn't buy a real beer.
That's why I live with, I don't want to have this in my house, because I've read several
biographies of alcoholics.
When I was doing research for some sermons on alcohol, I read biographies of recovering
alcoholics, and you know what, I've noticed just reading testimony after testimony after
testimony from former alcoholics, they all started drinking at a really young age.
Typically they didn't start drinking when they were 21.
Typically the really hardcore alcoholics started drinking when they were 10, 12, 13, say, how
is that possible?
I mean, I thought everybody cards hard, you know, how can they get that alcohol?
I'll tell you how, this is what they talked about, stealing it from their parents or stealing
it from their friend's parents.
That's 99%.
They would get alcohol, drink some of it and then water it down to make it look like nothing
had been removed from the bottle, and they would water down their parents' beer and hard
liquor and everything like that, and get that taste of it and start drinking that, and that's
how they became horrible alcoholics and eventually drug addicts.
Hey, I don't want to have that kind of stuff in my home for children to get into that,
and that's why, look, I don't think it's wrong to cook with alcohol that burns off and there's
no obviously intoxication from using cooking wine or something, but I personally choose
to not have anything like that in my house simply because I wouldn't want my kids to
get into it, and I wouldn't want people to see that and get the wrong idea and think
that I'm involved in that, and so I'm not going to be just like, well, we've got to
have these beer-battered fish or whatever, then go get that at a restaurant.
Don't bring that stuff in your home.
You don't want to have this garbage in your home.
This stuff has destroyed so many lives, and just children, they get curious about it.
You don't want to have this kind of wickedness in your home, but you know what?
I'd rather have a keg and a 24-pack of this and bottles of this.
I'd rather have an entire wall of my house just stacked with crates of this than to have
a reprobate in my home.
Did you hear me?
I'd rather have a whole cellar full of booze than a reprobate in my home because a reprobate
is even more destructive than that drink has ever thought of being.
Let me tell you something.
Reprobates, look, what does the Bible say?
I mean, the Bible says they're rejected by God.
The Bible says they didn't want to retain God and their knowledge in Romans 1, so therefore
God gave them over to a reprobate mind.
What does the word reprobate mean?
Rejected.
The Bible says in John chapter 12, therefore they could not believe because God has blinded
their minds and hardened their heart.
I mean, what does the Bible say in Hebrews 6 about people who have been once enlightened
and they've tasted of the heavenly gift, but then they turn away?
Hey, it's impossible to renew them to repentance.
There's plenty of scripture about the fact that there are people who cross a line with
God and they don't have forgiveness, neither in this world, neither in the world to come.
And they are reprobates according to Romans chapter 1.
Why would I have a reprobate in my house for any reason?
There's no reason for it.
And you know what's going to happen if I have a reprobate in my house?
All they're going to do is just corrupt my children, my other children, corrupt me, corrupt
my children, corrupt everything that they're around because they are an abomination.
And look, if there's no hope of getting them saved and they're not saved, what's the point?
Nothing good can come of it.
Now obviously when you read this story about Eli, he needed to cut these people off and
cast them out and get rid of them.
You say, well, I just don't believe it would ever be right to do that to your, I mean,
they're your kids, you know, I mean, they're your blood, they're your family.
What does the Bible say?
Go to Matthew chapter 10 verse 34.
Matthew chapter 10 verse 34.
Because you know what?
The Bible does say that there are going to be times when it is necessary to even separate
from our own family.
That's what the Bible says.
Look at Matthew 28, or I'm sorry, Matthew chapter 10 verse 34.
Matthew 10, 34 says, think not that I'm come to send peace on earth, I came not to send
peace but a sword, for I'm come to set a man at variance against his father, and the
daughter against her mother, and the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law, and a man's foes,
foes means enemies, shall be they of his own household.
And here's the key verse, folks, when it comes to this issue.
Verse 37.
He that loveth father and mother more than me is not worthy of me.
And he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
And he that taketh not his cross and followeth after me is not worthy of me.
The Bible is saying, don't love your kids more than you love Christ.
Don't love your kids more than you love God.
And look, I love my wife, I love my children more than any other people on this planet,
but I've told them this.
I've looked at them and said, you know what, son, I love you, I love Jesus Christ more.
I love you, daughter, but I love Jesus Christ more.
And if I have to choose between you and Jesus, I'll choose Jesus.
But you know what, I submit to you that the person who loves Jesus Christ more than their
wife and the person who loves Jesus Christ more than their children actually ends up
loving their wife and kids more than the one who says, well, my wife and kids are my world.
You know why?
Because love proceeds from God.
And everyone that loveth is born of God and knoweth God.
And God is love.
And the fruit of the Spirit is love.
The person who loves God with all of his heart, mind, soul, and strength has so much more
capacity for love than the one who doesn't love Christ that even putting his wife and
his children in second place is way higher than the worldly person's first place.
Because the closer we get to God, we have a greater capacity for love.
God teaches us about love.
The Word of God teaches us love.
Jesus Christ teaches us love.
The fruit of the Holy Spirit in our life is love.
The closer we are to the Lord, the more love we even have to give.
And we can give our wife and children and husband, if you're a lady, you can give that
more love if you make God number one.
And I guarantee you that there are people in this room this morning just based on human
nature who love their children more than they love God.
They love their spouse more than they love God.
They love their parents.
Otherwise, there wouldn't be all these verses telling you, hey, you need to love me first.
And I'm not second place to your family.
I'm number one.
That's what God's saying over and over again.
What does the Bible say?
He that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
So it's like, well, I know my child is a Christ-hating reprobate who says, you know, bleep Jesus
and the Bible's trash.
But it's my child, you know.
Well, you know what?
You got to choose if you're going to bring that poison, that corruption into your home
and if you're going to honor those who hate the Lord and if you're going to love those
who hate the Lord.
And look, I get asked this all the time and it's such a dumb question, you know, well,
what if one of your children ends up being a sodomite?
And they think it's like, hmm, you know, they think it's like checkmate Pastor Anderson.
Huh?
Because, you know, statistically, we know that like 30 percent of people are homos based
on TV.
Yeah, except in real life, it's like two percent of people.
It's like two percent of people.
But, you know, but, you know, based on sitcoms, it's like one third of people.
Right.
I mean, come on.
What if one of your children turns out to be a homo?
Let me tell you a real straight answer.
I would hate them and want nothing to do with them and they would be dead to me because
they're already dead to the Lord.
They're already the Bible says they're twice dead.
Well, then they're dead unto me, too.
Now, look, if my child were just unsaved, of course I'm going to love them.
Of course I'm going to love them even if they're unsaved.
I'm not going to hate my child if they were unsaved.
I'm not going to hate my child if they're backsliding.
I would love them and want them to come home.
But, you know what, if they cross the line to becoming like Eli's kids where they're
literally just these God hating devil reprobates, then, you know what, I would hate them.
Say, I can't believe you would say that.
Well, turn to Luke, Chapter 14.
You know, everybody loves Luke, Chapter 15, don't they?
Isn't everybody into Luke 15?
You know the most popular chapter in the Book of Luke is Luke 15?
In fact, it's probably one of the most popular chapters in the whole New Testament.
I mean, it's a pretty popular chapter.
Luke 15 about, you know, the lost sheep and the lost coin and then the culmination with
one of the most famous, sorry, not one of the number one most famous parable of Jesus,
the story of the prodigal son, which is the number one most popular Bible story that Jesus
told.
Okay.
But before Luke 15 comes Luke 14, okay?
And so we have to understand that the Bible says there's a time to love and a time to
hate.
And what does the Bible say in Luke, Chapter 14?
It says in Verse 26, if any man come to me and hate not his father and mother and wife
and children and brothers and sisters, yea, in his own life also he cannot be my disciple
and whosoever does not bear his cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.
Verse 33, so likewise whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath cannot
be my disciple.
Now obviously we don't want to take this scripture out of the context of the rest of scripture
and we know that honor thy father and mother is one of the most important commandments
in the entire Bible.
Let me say that again.
Honor thy father and mother I believe is one of the most important commandments in the
entire Bible.
And you know when I see people going out and making wicked decisions and living a wicked
life, one of the main thoughts I think is I wonder how this person feels about their
parents because I'm willing to bet they don't like their parents.
They don't honor their parents.
They don't obey their parents.
They don't love their parents.
And you know you'll find the girls that have bad relationship with dad often being the
one living the sleazy, fornicating, promiscuous life.
They have bitterness toward their dad for whatever reason.
They have hatred in their heart toward their dad, the wrong type of relationship with dad.
And then you see sons also going off into sin and doing wrong things.
They often have daddy issues, don't they?
Why?
Because let me say it again, honor thy father and mother is one of the most important commandments
in the entire Bible.
It's the first commandment with promise.
It's given a preeminent place by being the first commandment with promise that thy days
may be long and that it may be well with thee upon the earth.
That's pretty important.
So look, I'm not saying that we should not love and honor our parents.
That's big.
But what I am saying is that if one of your parents actually became an enemy of Jesus
Christ, a God-hating reprobate, a sodomite or whatever, then you know what, at that point
you should be willing to forsake your parents.
This isn't saying, hey everybody, forsake your wife, forsake your kids, that's foolishness.
This is hyperbole.
This is exaggeration.
This is a rhetorical device basically making a strong point here and the idea is that you
are to be willing to forsake everybody.
He's not saying, all right everybody, let's hate our own life and just kill ourselves.
That's not what he's saying.
He's saying we have to be willing to lay down our life, we have to be willing to separate
from son and daughter, willing to separate from our parents, we have to be willing maybe
to take a stand, and I don't believe we should ever forsake our spouse, but we have to be
willing to take a stand that maybe would cause them to reject us.
And so the point is that to sit there and say, well, no matter what our children do,
they're still our kids, they're still coming to Thanksgiving, well you know what, what
about your children that are still pure?
You know, what about, what about, you know, what about this child right here?
This is water by the way.
You know, what about this child right here that's neutral?
You know, all these started out as water.
You know that, right?
So what about this one?
This one, you know, right now is pure and clean.
This could turn into this, am I right?
This could turn into this.
This could turn into this, or, you know, this could turn into this.
All right, go play now.
All right, go to the zoo.
All right, come on over for barbecue.
All right, let's hang out together and learn the ways of a filthy, vile, God-hating, wicked
person who hates, there's no point.
Well, but what if we can reach this?
You can't reach him.
Yeah.
It's done, okay?
So I think we, I think we understand this.
I don't want to spend the whole sermon on this because I want to talk about these situations
here.
You know, this is what, you know, this is a minority over here.
And let me say this too.
We don't want to just jump to a conclusion of this, you know, labeling people a reprobate
and jump to that conclusion.
I'm talking about somebody who says, you know, hey, I'm a homo or hey, I'm, you know, I hate
Christ or, you know, blankety blank Jesus and I'm not interested in that Bible trash
and stuff and they grew up in a Christian home.
Now unsaved people will blaspheme Christ.
Sometimes unsaved people might say blank Jesus and I hate church and I want to, hey, all
manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men.
I mean, you know, whosoever speaketh the word against the son of man, it shall be forgiven
him.
So look, there are unsaved people who could say things like that.
But you know, when somebody grew up with a clear presentation of the gospel, they're
not doing it out of ignorance.
The Bible records super wicked people getting saved because they were ignorant.
The apostle Paul went out and did a bunch of horrible things before he got saved.
But this is what he said, how be it I obtained mercy because I did it ignorantly in unbelief.
He said, I did it ignorantly.
He was not an evil God hitter.
He was ignorant.
He thought he was doing right.
Okay.
So we don't want to jump to conclusions, but you know what, sometimes it's pretty obvious
when we're dealing with this person, any, and by the way, all sodomites are this person
because Romans one explains that's why they even have those desires.
Those desires don't come naturally.
Those aren't normal.
Anybody who's burning and less toward another man is this.
Okay.
But, you know, a lot of times, you know, even if they're real negative toward things about,
especially if they didn't grow up hearing a lot of clear gospel preaching, they didn't
grow up in church, you know, a lot of times it's just going to be an unsaved person.
Okay.
So this person right here, you know, we can still have a relationship with this person.
Why?
Because we want to reach this person, right?
So you don't want to just throw this person under the bus and have nothing to do with
this person.
Why?
Because this person can still be reached.
And this is, again, representing the one who's unsaved, but they're not a reprobate, but
they're unsaved.
Well, you know what?
What does a parent want more than anything than to get them saved?
So this is the person we want to be a good testimony.
We want to reach out to this person.
We're going to have this person over for Thanksgiving.
We're going to have this person over for Christmas.
We're going to send them a gift.
We're going to share the love of Christ with them.
We're going to share the gospel with them.
We're going to keep the lines of communication open.
We don't want to burn bridges with this person.
Okay.
But at the same time, we just want to be aware we don't want this person to be a bad influence
on the rest of our family.
But the reason why this person is not a huge danger to our family is because of the fact
that all of our kids who know the gospel and they understand, hey, this is an unsaved person.
So they're going to expect an unsaved person to behave themselves like an unsaved person.
Okay.
But this person is so toxic.
This person is so filthy and evil and wicked and directly under the control of Satan in
many cases or as demons, you know, this is too dangerous to have around.
Okay.
This right here, you know, it's like we need to have a talking to with our family about
this, don't we?
I mean, what if I were to come home and just open this up and start drinking this?
You know, I'm not getting drunk.
This is not going to get me drunk.
I could drink a whole pack of these and I'm not going to get drunk, right?
I mean, from what I understand, you know, this is a very low alcohol content and it's
considered, yeah, golden non-alcoholic brew.
So it's no alcohol, right?
So this isn't going to get me drunk.
I could sit back and just knock back one of these after another, you know, in front of
my family.
But here's the thing about that.
Have I committed the sin of drunkenness?
No.
But what if I did that without explaining anything to my kids?
Wouldn't that confuse my kids?
Do I have dad's breath smell like beer?
Why does dad have beer on his breath?
Why is he sitting there knocking back beer after beer after beer?
But if I explained to them and said, look, kids, this is not alcohol.
I don't drink this.
So I've never had it.
I've never even tasted it.
But I'm just saying, look, if I were to theoretically explain to my kids, hey, guys, this is not
alcohol.
I'm not getting drunk here.
You know, this is just a soft drink that's masquerade.
And what I'm saying is, look, yeah, we can have a relationship with unsaved kids.
We want to have those communications open.
But we want to make sure that our children understand this is not your role model.
Don't start to love that taste.
Don't start to love that smell because that taste and that smell is leading you down a
wrong path, which is why I don't actually drink this drink.
But my point is, but you know what?
Let's say I were in a situation where I were in a bind and I was super thirsty, I'd drink
this.
Right?
Let's say I was out in the middle of nowhere and somebody had an ice chest of this and
I'm getting dehydrated, I'll drink it.
You know what I'm saying?
Why?
Because it's not sin.
Haven't you heard what David did when he was hungry?
But the point is, you know, but don't you, doesn't this need to be explained?
So we need to teach our kids, hey, don't follow that life.
That person's not with the Lord.
That person's not a Christian.
You know, we love him, we're trying to reach him.
Let's be a good testimony to that person.
And you know, we've brought in unsaved relatives and we've brought them in and we've said,
hey, look, kids, you know, Uncle So-and-So isn't saved, Cousin So-and-So isn't saved.
Let's be sure and be a good testimony to them.
Let's give them the gospel and let's not be a bad representation of Christ because you
know what?
We're representing Christ to them.
That discussion needs to happen.
Now what about this guy?
Now let's go to Luke 15 now, the popular story of the prodigal son because the prodigal son's
about this guy, you know, the one who's saved and goes astray.
Why?
Because he's a child of the father.
The father represents God.
He's a child of the father but he goes off and gets into sin.
And God forbid that this, but we don't want this for any of our kids.
We don't want any of our kids to grow up unsaved.
We don't want them to be this guy right here.
And here's the thing about it.
You know, our children could even, God forbid, become this long after they leave our home.
You know, look at, for example, that's why I'm not saying, hey, we're just going to blame
everybody who has a kid who's doing bad.
Because you know what?
The thing about it is if you think about a guy like David, do you think David's parents
did a good job raising him?
I mean, David was a man after God's own heart.
So what about the fact that David, when he's much older, commits adultery and murder?
Is that Jesse's fault?
Jesse!
You know, so David's this man, he raises a man after God's own heart, serving God, doing
all these great things.
And then all of a sudden when he's 30 or whenever it was, you know, I know I'm getting that
age wrong.
But when he's in his, you know, 30s or whatever, and then it's like, oh, you know, now he falls
into this sin.
You can't really blame the parents for what an adult child does when they're out living
life.
Because look, my parents raised me right.
Here I am serving God, loving the Lord, but am I, is it impossible for me to fall into
sin?
No, because it's not impossible for anyone to fall into sin.
The Bible says, let him that thinketh he stand to take heed, lest he fall.
That means it's possible for me or you or anyone to go into sin.
None of us are just like, oh, we've been delivered and we can't sin and we're past that.
Folks, we all every day have to deny self and take up the cross and follow Christ.
And this idea that we're above sin, that's false.
So if I sin, are my parents responsible for that?
You know, I'm 38 years old, I've been serving God, I haven't fornicated, I haven't committed
adultery, I haven't gotten drunk, I haven't taken drugs.
But if I did that all of a sudden in my 40s, would that be their fault?
That'd be ridiculous.
Okay, they raised me right.
I'm responsible for my own decisions.
And you see Cain and Abel being raised in the same household, okay?
And it doesn't necessarily reflect on the parents when an adult child starts going down
a dark path, because you know what, none of us is immune from doing those things.
But what we can control is our house, what we can control is our family.
And that's what Eli is being held accountable for.
And you know what, we need to make sure that as for us and our house, we serve the Lord.
And so let me just be very frank, this guy's not welcome in my house.
This guy is.
And you say, well, I don't understand, I mean, this one's saved, this one's not.
No, no, no, this one's way more dangerous.
You know why?
Because my children would look at this person and say, oh, there's an option to be a Christian
and still be a fornicator, still be a drunk, still live the ways of this world.
No, this is worse.
What did the Bible say?
The Bible says, hey, I didn't write to you telling you not to have company with any fornicators,
because if I told you, and I'm paraphrasing, but 1 Corinthians 5 says, if I told you not
to have fellowship with fornicators, you'd have to pretty much just leave the world.
You'd have to pretty much go live on a compound somewhere, you'd have to go be a hermit somewhere.
Why?
Because this world's filled with fornicators.
He said, I didn't tell you to withdraw from every drunk, every fornicator, every railer,
every extortioner.
Why?
You'd have to depart from earth.
And you know, some people believe that.
And they go live in a monastery, they go live in a cave, they go live on an island somewhere.
Hey, we're to be in the world, but not of the world.
And so he said, I've not written you to depart from everybody who's a fornicator or a drunker,
but anyone who's called a brother who's a fornicator with such a one know not to eat.
If they're a brother in Christ and they're, and I'm not talking about just somebody who's
a little bit back.
I'm talking about somebody who's all the way off the cliff of 1 Corinthians 5, where they're
either a fornicator, a drunk, just a person who's just going after lucre and just all
their life's about covetousness, extortioner, whatever.
Okay.
The Bible says don't eat with that person.
I'm not going to eat with this.
Okay.
Now this person, hey, I want to try to have this person around to be salt and light unto
them and get them saved.
Okay.
But this person, I, this person's just going to stink up the joint.
And it's too, you know, I don't, the Bible said, no.
Now when the Bible said not to have company with a brother who's a fornicator, it didn't
say unless it's your brother.
Unless it's your sister, unless it's your mom, unless it's your, no, it's just, you
don't.
Okay.
You know what I mean?
You don't want to have those people influencing you and your family and everything like that.
So that's the stand that I take.
And I know that a lot, for a lot of people, you know, that they're not, they don't like
that I say that.
You know, I had somebody quit the church many years ago, a long time, remember, at least
this is why they said they left.
I got up and preached and I said, hey, if you have someone committing fornication in
your house under your roof, that's wicked.
You need to, you're responsible for what goes on in your house because they had an adult
child living with them with a live-in girlfriend in the home.
I mean, just in their home, their child has a bedroom and he's, you know, in his early
20s or whatever, and he's just, he has his concubine in there just committing fornication.
And I didn't make it specific to them or anything.
I didn't even know about that situation.
I was just preaching a general principle, hey, you can't have fornication in your home
and be right with God.
And then they're, oh, that was directed at us.
Well, you know what, if the shoe fits, wear it.
It wasn't directed at you, but maybe the Holy Spirit was directing it at you.
Maybe the Holy Ghost was leading me to preach on that passage and preach on those principles
and rip on fornication and rip on ruling your house because you're in sin.
And they quit the church, but you know what, it doesn't change what I said.
And so we need to understand how to deal with it when children go astray.
Now look at Luke chapter 15, I gotta hurry, verse 11, a certain man had two sons, verse
12, and the younger of them said to his father, father, give me the portion of goods that
falleth to me.
And he divided unto them his living.
And not many days after the young son gathered all together and took his journey into a far
country and there wasted his substance with riotous living.
Now what this parable pictures here is somebody who wants to have all the reward and the fun
and the pleasure now instead of waiting for what God has for them.
The picture of waiting for the inheritance is paying your dues, earning things, and waiting
until it's God's gift unto you.
I want it right now.
I want to have the fun and everything now.
So what's this picturing?
This is picturing the one who says, hey, I don't want to wait until I get married to
enjoy that physical relationship.
I'm just going to go out and fornicate because I want to enjoy that right now.
Now obviously what this child is doing in this story is very shortsighted because he
burns through all the inheritance really fast and he's going to spend the rest of his life
lacking those things when he could have just hung in there, done right, and then he would
have gotten it all anyway in the end and more.
But he just says, no, I've got to have it right now.
Instead of enduring the reproach of Christ rather than just going for the pleasures of
sin for a season, he says, no, give me the fun now.
I want to party now.
I want to fornicate now.
I want to drink.
I want to do everything I'm not supposed to do.
So he goes and he does riotous living.
Now look, all of us would be ashamed if we had a child who went into a far country and
started living a riotous life.
And we're hearing the reports about the DUIs and the drunkenness and the pregnancies out
of wedlock and the live-in girlfriend, the live-in boyfriend, all these things.
Okay, that's what's going on.
And of course, God sends chastisement.
God sends punishment, right?
Whom the Lord loveth, he chasteneth and scourges every son whom he receiveth.
So there arose a mighty famine in the land and he began to be in want.
And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country and he sent him into his fields
to feed swine and he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did
eat and no man gave unto him.
And when he came to himself, he said, how many hired servants of my fathers have bread
enough and to spare and I perish with hunger.
I will arise and go to my father and say unto him, father, I have sinned against heaven
and before thee and am no more worthy to be called thy son.
Make me as one of thy hired servants.
When does he get right with God?
When he hits rock bottom.
Often times for this person to get right with God, you know what has to happen?
They've got to hit rock bottom where no man gives unto them.
If you continually prop this person up and keep giving unto them, oh, you're with whores,
you're living a riotous life, you're drunk, you're a gambler, here, let me just keep giving
to you, giving to you, giving to you.
You're not helping this person.
Because if people would have gave unto him, he would still be in that far country.
He would still be in the pig pen.
He would still be living a wicked life.
He would still be separated from his parents.
Why?
Because you kept giving to him.
That's why people say don't give money to a drug addict.
Why are you feeding their cocaine addiction?
Why are you feeding their gambling addiction?
Why are you propping up their sinful life?
Let them hit rock bottom.
And you know what?
My former pastor, he used to always preach about this.
He would say, you know what, the prodigal son's father was always waiting with loving
open arms to receive him home, but he didn't go after him into the far country and he wasn't
Western Unioning money into the far country propping up a sinful life.
No man gave unto him.
He stayed with God.
He didn't follow him into sin.
And you know what?
This is what happens.
Most children go astray.
They either stand with Christ or they say, well, it's my children, and they follow their
children often into sin.
Many times they'll even say, well, I can't go to a fire-breathing church because it offends
my children.
So I'm going to go to the liberal fun center, Joel Osteen-style church, because then my
children will come to church sometimes.
Folks, if church didn't work for the first 18 years of your child's life, why do you
think church is going to fix them now, especially some watered-down fun center?
How's that going to fix them?
You know what's going to fix them when no man gives unto them?
You know what's going to fix them?
When they hit rock bottom.
And you know what?
God can bring them to rock bottom.
You know, if we have a saved child who goes into sin, God is more than capable of chastising
them and chasing them and allowing them to hit rock bottom for their own good so that
they can be restored sooner.
But why are you interfering with that?
And participating in their ungodly life.
Well, you know, no matter how many drugs you take, no matter how much drunkenness you do,
no matter how many women you knock up, hey, you can always come here and just get a bag
of groceries and just, you know, I always got 100 bucks for you, to loan you.
Well, how are they going to hit rock bottom if everybody's giving unto them?
And by the way, if somebody else's kids run away from home and rebel against their parents
and want to go live a sinful life and you take them into your home, you should throw
them out and say, you go back to your parents.
Don't harbor these fugitives from their parents.
I'm serious.
I see it all the time.
So-called Christians will have some 17 or 18-year-old in their home that ran away from
their parents because their parents are too strict.
And by the way, that just means they're godly Christians who just don't want their kid fornicating
and drinking.
So strict.
But like I said, my former pastor, he used to preach this all the time.
And you know what?
He made it crystal clear.
He said, you know what?
If my kids go out and live a worldly life, hey, I'll be waiting for them when they come
back, but I'm not going to go help them.
I'm not going to participate with them.
I'm not going to have a relationship with them while they're in violation of 1 Corinthians
5 and everything.
And you know what?
All of his kids turned out right.
All of his kids are serving God right now.
And you know what?
They knew that if they didn't, if they became this person, if they went out and did the
drinking and the partying and the partying, they knew that they could pretty much kiss
their family goodbye.
Now, look, they're ready to welcome them back with open arms when they're ready to stop
dragging the name of Jesus Christ in the mud, a la 1 Corinthians 5.
This is where I stand.
My children know this is where I stand, and I believe that all my children are going to
turn out right.
You know, the Bible says, train up a child in the way he should go when he's old, he'll
not depart from it.
And I'm trusting that.
I'm doing the best I can as a parent.
I'm investing in my children, spending time with my children.
I love my children, teaching them and training them and admonishing them in the ways of the
Lord.
I don't believe that I would ever have a child that's a sodomite because I don't think that
they become a sodomite by accident or by osmosis.
Okay.
Now, look, again, if you have one of these kids because you only got right with God recently
or you only got in church recently or you, you know, look, I'm not beating you up for
your past at all because of the fact that, you know, what can you do, right?
You can't change that.
You can't change the past.
I'm not blaming you.
I'm not attacking you.
I'm just telling you how to handle it.
And you know why I'm telling you not to have this person in your house?
It's not because I'm just trying to just ruin your Christmas, you know, or just be a big
spoil sport and it'd be a big stick in the mud.
It's because I love you and your family.
And I know that this person is toxic.
Seriously toxic.
Okay.
That's why I'm telling you that.
And you know, the reason that I bring this person up is because I want you to know that,
you know what, don't treat this person like crap because you know what, a lot of overzealous
Christians could go to a Christmas gathering and just be a little too hard on this person.
Forgive them for they know not what they do.
You know, we need to reach this person.
But we need to also consider ourselves and make sure that we explain things to our kids
and that we don't let this person take us down a dark path.
This person could definitely take us down a dark path that we don't want to go.
But it's important that we reach this person.
So we're going to kind of balance that and we're going to say, hey, I need to reach out
to them.
Even though they're sinful, I need to reach out to them.
And you know, I just need to explain to my children, hey, look, this is not a role model.
But we love them and we want to reach them.
And you know what, this guy in some ways can even be more dangerous to your family than
that reprobate.
But it's hard to say because reprobates are just so toxic.
But the point is, you know, the problem with this person is that your kids think that this
person's okay.
Oh, they're Christian.
They're saved.
What's the big deal?
And they see this as a path for them, possibly.
Why did the Bible say, well, hey, I'm not telling you to withdraw from fornicators,
just those that are called a brother that are fornicators.
Why?
Because he said why.
Because a little leaven leavens the whole lump.
We don't want our lump to get leavened.
We don't want this person to bring in a culture of fornication, drunkenness, covetousness,
whatever.
Okay.
So we got to be careful of this.
Now, but we're ready to welcome this.
And you know what?
When the prodigal son comes home, we're not going to throw their past sins in their face.
We're going to welcome them with loving arms, and it's going to be forgiven and forgotten.
Am I right?
I mean, what's the reaction when the prodigal son comes home?
How does dad react?
Well, the Bible tells us, if you look at verse number 20, he arose and came to his father.
But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion and ran and fell
on his neck and kissed him.
And the son said to him, father, I have sinned against heaven and in thy sight, and am no
more worthy to be called thy son.
But the father said to his servants, bring forth the best robe, put it on him, put a
ring in his hand, shoes on his feet, and bring hither the fatted calf and kill it, and let's
eat and be merry.
For this my son was dead and is alive again.
He was lost in his found, and they began to be merry.
Look, it's a party when people come home.
And look, if he says, hey, my son was dead and he's alive again, does it sound like he
was having a relationship with this guy while he's living in sin?
Is that what it sounds like?
He's lost.
Sound like they're in touch?
Now a lot of people have tried to misconstrue this, oh, it's an unsaved person.
No.
The Bible says that even a Christian widow who lives and goes after seeking pleasures
is dead while she's living.
How can you be dead and alive at the same time?
Because we have the flesh and the spirit, we can be dead and alive at the same time.
If we walk in the flesh, we are living an unsaved type life even though we're spiritually
saved.
If we walk in the flesh, we fulfill the lust of flesh, the end of those things is death.
So look, there's a part of us that's unsaved, it's called our flesh.
Our spirit and our soul is saved, but our flesh is the same old flesh from before we
got saved.
I mean, when you got saved, you're like, look, look at me, every blemish, look at the scar,
it's disappearing.
I'm good looking now.
Whoa, look at the additional pounds, they're just falling off.
And look at my hair's growing back.
My finger's not broken anymore.
Is that what happened when you got saved?
There's no change to your flesh.
Well guess what?
You still have that fleshly mind too.
That's why you got to put off the old man and put on the new man daily, daily.
So what I'm saying is if he's using this metaphor of saying like, he was dead, he's alive, he
was lost, he was not, was the son in the story literally dead?
Was this a resurrection story where Jesus came and laid hands on him or Elisha came
and he wasn't literally dead?
He was dead unto dad because dad had nothing to do with him.
Does everybody understand?
His adult, sinful, wicked child who was a Christian that's just outliving a Christian,
and I'm not talking about somebody who just got saved as a new believer, I'm talking about
the one who's called a brother.
I mean, they grew up in church or they've been saved for a long time, they know better,
and then they go out and become this riotous person, drinking, partying, fornicating, you
name it.
You know what, we shouldn't have a relationship with that person with such a one, no not to
eat.
Why?
Because we don't love them?
No, because do we love this person?
Yeah, we love this guy, right?
Do we love this person?
Yeah.
Do we love this person?
Hell no.
All right.
So, but look, do we love this person?
Yeah, look, we love this person and we love this person, okay?
But if we actually love this person, then you know what we want for this person?
For them to hit rock bottom.
Because if 18 years of preaching didn't do it, is one more of a, oh, I'm so excited,
my fornicating child is showing up to church this morning, Pastor Anderson, can you preach
a special sermon to them?
It's like, you know what, what can I do for them if they already grew up in church and
heard hundreds of, it's not that they don't know that fornication's wrong, it's that they're
doing it anyway.
What they really need is to hit rock bottom.
That's what it's gonna take.
Folks, you gotta let people hit rock bottom.
And it doesn't mean you don't love them.
I don't doubt the love of the father in the story of the prodigal son for one second.
I mean, I see him, and even when he's a great way off, he recognizes him, why?
Because he's not his mind.
He loves him, he cares about him, he sees him a great way off, and he runs to greet
him.
He's enthusiastic.
Not like, well, I guess you can come back.
I mean, I guess, you stinking whoremonger.
I guess, you realize the damage you've done?
No, he says, look, hey, you got the right attitude, you're right with God now, come
on home, son, let's party, let's have a celebration.
Now, of course, later in the story, there's the other brother who has the bad attitude
and, oh, man, this guy, and, you know, that's another sermon about people who aren't willing
to forgive, they aren't willing to let people live things down, they're not willing to restore
people.
That's bad, too.
But how do we deal with children when they go astray?
None of us wants our children to go astray.
And I hope to God that every single parent who raises their child in this church, I hope
that all your kids turn out right.
I hope that all of your kids love the Lord.
I hope that all of my kids love the Lord.
But, you know, I know there are a lot of people who are already in this situation.
And I know that there are going to be people, sadly, even who grow up in this church who
are going to become one of these three things for various and sundry reasons.
But you know what?
How do we deal with it?
You know, we can point the finger and blame all we want, but at the end of the day, what
do we do?
And so I submit to this person, you know, we completely reject them.
If God rejects them, well, you know what, so am I.
This person right here, we love them, we reach out to them, we try to get them the gospel.
This is who we really need to bring as a visitor to church, you know, get them in church, get
them here in the gospel, hear the word of God, be a good testament, but beware, warn
our children.
We don't want them to get the wrong idea that this is a role model, okay?
And then this person right here, we need to cut them off.
But we're ready with welcome arms when they come back.
But you know what?
This fake phony right here, Christian who's saved, yes, but just outliving as the devil,
they need to hit rock bottom.
And when they hit rock bottom, you know, they're going to come home.
God willing.
And that's often what it's going to take.
Let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer.
Father, we thank you so much for the children that you've blessed us with, Lord, and Lord,
I just pray that you would give us all wisdom as parents, help us to be godly parents, help
us to be good examples to our kids, help us to spend time with our children, to teach
them and bring them up in your nurture and admonition, Lord.
And Lord, if the time ever comes when people's children go astray, I pray that they would
have the wisdom and the discernment to know how to handle that and that they would also
have the courage to handle it in the way that they should.
And Lord, help one older child going astray not end up corrupting a whole bunch of other
younger children that can still do right.
Help us to preserve and strengthen the things that remain even if an older child goes wayward.
And in Jesus' name we pray, amen.