Amen. The title of my sermon this morning is vows made by women, vows made by women.
Numbers chapter 30 covers this subject in great detail. But before we get into vows
made by women, we're going to talk about just the vows in general, because these first couple
of verses here just talk about the making of a vow by a man. It says in verse number
one, "And Moses spake unto the heads of the tribes concerning the children of Israel,
saying, This is the thing which the Lord hath commanded. If a man vow a vow unto the Lord
or swear an oath to bind his soul with a bond, he shall not break his word. He shall do according
to all that proceedeth out of his mouth, period." Now, then he gets into the subject of women
making vows and wives and daughters, and it gets more complicated. But when it comes to
this first part, it's just simple. If a man makes a vow, he makes an oath, he swears something,
he must do that which has proceeded out of his mouth. You've got to do what you say you
will do. And this is such an important principle to live by. Go, if you would, to Matthew 5.
When we say we're going to do something, we got to do it. Sometimes we'll say things and
later we'll regret that we said that, we'll regret that we made that commitment, that
we said we were going to do it. But you know what? We need to be true to our word and not
just make all these promises, make all these commitments, make all these appointments and
then not keep those things. Okay? It's wrong. Now, while you're turning to Matthew five,
it says in Ecclesiastes five, when thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it for he
hath no pleasure in fools pay that which thou has vowed. Better is it that thou shouldest
not vow than that thou shouldest vow and not pay. So it's better to just not make commitments,
not make promises, vows, odes than to make one and break it. Because when you say you're
going to do something, you've got to do it. Now Matthew chapter 5 is a chapter that can
sometimes be misunderstood and we're going to get into the relevant part of Matthew 5,
but first let's do the prerequisite in verse 17 because this is going to help explain everything
that follows. It says, "Think not that I am come to destroy the law of the prophets.
I am not come to destroy, but to fulfill. For verily I say unto you, till heaven and
earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law till all be fulfilled."
So Jesus says, "Look, I don't want you to misunderstand me or get the idea that I am
somehow destroying the law of the prophets. I'm not negating or nullifying what is taught
in the Old Testament. I am fulfilling it." Right? And so Jesus Christ is building upon
the foundation that has already been laid by the prophets in the Old Testament. It's
so important that we realize this because a lot of people want to kind of pit New Testament
against Old Testament or that somehow Jesus is refuting or negating or nullifying things
from the Old Testament. That's madness because that would make Jesus a false prophet, right?
Because the Word of God is the Word of God. And so if Jesus comes along and says, "Well,
this part of the Word of God isn't right. This part of the Word of God is something
that we don't believe," or something, wouldn't that be a big red flag about Jesus? Because
he should be confirming the words of the Old Testament. And of course, he always does.
And so we need to understand that going in, that the Bible here in Matthew 5, it's not
telling us, "Well, the Old Testament is wrong. We're going to do something different." No.
Jesus is basically just raising the standard. He is giving more information. He's building
upon what's taught in the Old Testament, not negating or refuting it. So let's look at
the example in question, verse 33. "Again, you've heard that it has been said by them
of old time, 'Thou shalt not forswear thyself, but shalt perform unto the Lord thine oaths.'"
Now that's pretty much what we just read in Numbers 30, right? Hey, don't break a vow.
Don't forswear yourself. You perform your oaths unto the Lord. You do what you say you
will do. "But I say unto you, swear not at all." Okay, now Jesus is not negating the
clear teaching of the Old Testament because the Old Testament is saying, "If you swear
an oath, do it." Is Jesus saying, "Hey, swear an oath and don't do it." You can wiggle out
of it. No, that's not what he's saying at all. What he's saying is, "Well, swear not
at all." And then if you jump down to verse 37, he says, "But let your communication
be yea, yea, nay, nay for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil." Okay, so he's
saying, look, instead of swearing to do something, just say, "Yes, I will do it." Or, "No, I
will not do it." Don't go beyond that. And what the Bible is saying, that the higher
standard is, it's not just, "Well, if I swear an oath, I'm going to keep my word. If I make
a vow or a promise I'm going to keep my word, oh no." Jesus is saying, "You just say you're
going to do something, you keep your word." And sometimes you'll see people break their
word and say, "Well, I didn't promise. I didn't swear I was going to do it. I didn't
promise to do it." Hold on. Did you say you were going to do it? Then do it. Let your
yea be yea and your nay nay. Now James teaches this exact same thing. You stay there in Matthew.
But in James, it says, "But above all things, my brethren, swear not, neither by heaven,
neither by the earth, neither by any other oath, but let your yea be yea and your nay
nay, lest you fall into condemnation." Look, if you say it's a yes, let it be a yes. Stick
to your word. Do what you say you will do. So the Bible's not saying that it's okay to
break oaths. No. That still stands. If you make an oath, you keep it. But the Bible's
giving a superior standard of saying no oath needed. Don't even swear at all. You're just
going to get yourself into trouble with that. Just go ahead and just say it and do it. It's
that simple, right? Now let's go back to Matthew 5 and read it again. Verse 33, "Again you've
heard that it has been said by them of old time, thou shalt not forswear thyself, but
shalt perform in the load thine oaths, but I send you, swear not at all, neither by heaven,
for it is God's throne, nor by the earth, for it is his footstool, neither by Jerusalem,
for it is the city of the great king, neither shalt thou swear by thy head, because thou
canst not make one hair white or black, but let your communication be yea, yea, nay, nay,
for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil." Here's what the yea, yea means. The
first yea is when you say yea, when you say yes. The second yea is when you actually come
through and do it. The first no is when you say no and then the second no is when you
fulfill your word and you do what you said you would do, let your yea be yea and your
nay nay. So when this is saying swear not at all, the type of oaths that we would see
in the Old Testament are things like this, "May the Lord do so to me and more also if
I don't fulfill x, y, and z." "May God strike me dead if I don't do x, y, and z." Those
are the type of swearing or oaths that we'll see in the Old Testament where they'll kind
of put a curse upon themselves if they break the vow. Or, you know, he says, "Don't swear
by heaven," you know, and you'll hear people say, "By God, this is what I'm going to do."
That's not right for Christians to do that. The Bible says, "Swear not at all." James
says, "Above all things, my brethren, swear not." So people will say, "On God, I'm telling
the truth." No, do not say that. No, by God, on God. Do not take God's name in vain, number
one. Number two, do not swear by heaven, by Jerusalem. I swear on my mother's grave. I
swear on everything. We should not talk that way. We're supposed to just say, "Yes, I'll
do it." And for the Christian, that should be enough because we know that keeping our
word is what God commands. Now a lot of people will say, "Well, what about wedding vows?"
But last time I checked, the wedding vows don't say, "May God strike me dead if I ever
leave this woman." On Jerusalem, on my mother's grave, I will stay with you. No, because if
you think about the vows, what is it? It's, "I so and so take thee so and so to be my
wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer,
for poorer, and sickness, and health, to love and to cherish till death do us part." Aren't
you just saying you're going to do it? I mean, if I say, "Will you have this woman to be
your wedded wife? Will you love her, honor and keep her, in sickness as in health, in
poverty as in wealth, and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her so long as you both
shall live? Do you so promise?" I do. Yeah, I do. I do promise that. Yeah, I will do that.
Yeah, that is what I'm going to do. But are you saying like, "On God, by God, may God
strike me dead and may Jerusalem burn to the ground," or something? No, you're not doing
any of these kind of oaths or swearing or imprecations, even though we call it vows,
you are really just making an affirmation that, "Hey, I promise to stay married." So
this is not a violation of that whatsoever. Obviously, marriage is ordained by God. That's
not what Jesus is talking about here. Jesus is talking about these kind of vows and oaths
that invoke deity or invoke some kind of a curse upon ourselves. I hope you understand
the distinction. Go if you would to Psalm 15. Jesus ups the ante by saying, even if
you don't invoke a curse, even if you don't make some big song and dance about swearing
and vowing and may God do this and more also, as the Lord liveth, I'll do this or that.
No. Instead, he says, you just make an affirmation. You just state that you will do it and then
you do it. You come through with it. Now, Psalm 15 is one of my absolute favorite songs.
Or Psalms, I should say. It's also one of my favorite songs because I actually did set
this to music a long time ago and we've sung it in our church many times. And so I really
love this Psalm, which is part of the reason why I set it to music many, many years ago.
And we're going to read most of it just because it's so short. It says in verse one, "Lord,
who shall abide in thy tabernacle? Who shall dwell in thy holy hill?" I don't know about
you, but I want to abide in the tabernacle. I want to stay in the tabernacle when other
people are quitting on God, getting out of church, getting back slid, falling away from
the service of the Lord. I want to stay in the tabernacle. I want to dwell in the house
of the Lord forever. And so who is it going to be? Because there are people in this room
that will crash and burn spiritually. There are people in this room that will crash and
burn and no longer be in church. And then there are going to be people that stay with
the things of God, whether in this church or another good church. And they're going
to keep serving God. What's the difference? Who is going to abide in the tabernacle? Who
is going to dwell in God's holy hill? It's he that walketh uprightly and worketh righteousness.
So this has to do with our actions. You've got to live a Christian life. If you want
to have longevity as a servant of God and a longevity as a church member, you've got
to walk the walk. But then it says speak of the truth in his heart. Notice it's not even
talking about speaking the truth out loud. It says speaking the truth in your heart.
So not only are your actions right, but you also have the right thoughts, right? Because
every day we talk to ourselves. Is it just me? No, I'm just kidding. But anyway, you
know, we all have like an internal dialogue or monologue going on where we make sense
of life and we make sense of the world around us in our heads, where we're kind of talking
a certain narrative. And so the Bible says, you know, he speaks the truth in his heart.
So he lives the right kind of life and he's thinking the right kind of thoughts. He doesn't
have a heart and a mind full of lies either, but actually his walk is right and he's talking
the right talk even internally. Verse three, he that backbited not with his tongue nor
do with evil to his neighbor, nor take it up a reproach against his neighbor. Right?
Because what is one of the 10 commandments? Thou shalt not bear false witness against
thy neighbor. And it's interesting because a lot of people will just quote this as thou
shalt not lie. And of course lying is bad. And God hates a lying tongue. And lying is
a sin. Isn't it interesting though that in the 10 commandments God chose to word it?
Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor and make the commandment about
a specific kind of lying? It must be a serious problem. I know stealing is a serious problem.
Is stealing rare? You know in the history of mankind there have been a few incidents
of stealing. I mean somebody is probably stealing somewhere in the world every second of the
day. Well guess what? Somebody is bearing false witness against their neighbor. Somebody
is killing. Somebody is committing adultery. Somebody is taking God's name in vain. These
are big things which is why they are even being brought up on a Cliff's Notes version
of God's law. Right? Because you have this big long law of God with all these commandments.
The Ten Commandments is like the Cliff's Notes version of the Old Covenant Commandments.
And why is thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor so prominent? Because
apparently there's a lot of it that happens. And so he says, "You don't backbite, do evil
to your neighbor, take up or approach against your neighbor." And then he says in verse
4, "In whose eyes a vile person is condemned." Now this is not condemned. This is condemned.
This is had in contempt. The Bible is saying that we should have vile people in contempt.
So here's the thing. The guy who just comes along sloppy agape and good sin, good devil,
cold hell, can't we all just get along kind of a guy, it's probably not going to make
it in the long run. Probably not going to be here five years from now, the bleeding
heart. Probably not going to be here five years from now, ten years from now, because
the people who make it, they have vile people in contempt. I didn't write the Bible. Did
I just make this up right now? I'm just reading the Bible. The people that are going to make
it spiritually, you know what? They don't have a bleeding heart for the enemies of God.
They're not always just sympathizing with the devil and sympathizing with every hater
of the church, sympathizing with every person who gets excommunicated a la I Corinthians
5 or whatever. You know, that person is not going to receive the blessing of the Lord.
They're not going to abide in the tabernacle. It's the one in whose eyes a vile person is
contempt, but he honored them that fear the Lord. You know, the Bible says that the pastor
is supposed to be a lover of good men. You know, we should love the good and we should
have contempt for the vile. That's what the Bible says. But then here's the one that I
I really want to home in on this is why we're even here this morning he that
sweareth to his own herd and change it not right that's who's gonna make it in
the long run is the one who swears to his own herd and changes not meaning
that you make a commitment and that commitment comes back invites you but
you say you know what even though I don't want to honor my commitment even
though I don't want to do what I said I would do I will do what I said I will do
I will let my yay be yay I will let my name be nay now look I worked in
construction for many years I was an electrician for many years mainly doing
low voltage and let me tell you something about construction is that
there are a lot of arguments and disputes that come up in job sites
between contractors about whose responsibility this is or whether this
is right or not right I lived in this world for many many years and I could
pretty much sum up like 90% of disputes arguments litigation having to do with
construction if I could just boil it down for you and just write it on the
back of a postage stamp it's this somebody swore to their own hurt and
they want to change and anybody who's in construction knows exactly what I'm
talking about they swore to their own hurt and they want to change they
underbid the job now they're losing money and here's they make a good
contract it's like you swore to your own hurt you signed your name I'm gonna do
this for this amount of money you accidentally underbid it now you're
like ah I can't do it for that price and so all I got to build in extra it's
like no buddy you swore to your own hurt you got to change that or here's
something that's extremely common something will be forgotten like there
will be a list of things that I'm signing on to do and something's not on
the list no one got assigned a particular job and then all of a sudden
it's like well who's gonna do it well it's not in my contract so you know is
the door guy gonna do it is the electrician gonna do I'm not gonna do
it you know and then nobody wants to do it because it's not in their contract
and then the owner or the general contractor he doesn't want to pay
anybody to do it because he's already you know got it all figured out he's
already spending his profits in his mind and whatever but here's the thing if you
make these commitments and you screw up sometimes you just got to eat it and you
end up losing money on a job you know what's really frustrating working for
weeks or months on a job and losing money I mean we all work to make money
you know how hard it is to go work and then you lost money super depressing
super disheartening but you know what I got good news for you if you swear to
your own hurt and change not you will receive the blessing of the Lord first
of all be careful about what you sign on for be careful about bidding those jobs
you got to build in some extra money just for the oops factor and if you screw
up you got to own it you got to eat it you got to deal with it that's life okay
but there's always somebody who doesn't want to own it doesn't want to do it and
then that's where the fighting comes from and I realize I'm oversimplifying
an entire industry but I think I also have the Spirit of God I think of a lot
of people here that are in construction would agree who thinks who thinks like
yeah I've seen a lot of that I'm in construction yeah thank you for
humoring me no I'm sure you really do agree because it's true you know and
sometimes I would try to be the guy who would jump in and say hey I'll do it for
just a little bit of money you know I still want to get paid but I would be
like hey guys let's not fight about it I'll do it for a little bit of money
because I'm just always looking to make an extra buck on the job so I would
usually try to volunteer to do these little crossover things and then you
know typically they'd say hey man I owe you a case of beer and I'm like I don't
drink so it's not gonna do anything for me so skip the beer and give me money so
let me give an example of this you know he that sweareth to his own herd and
changed it not because typically when people swear something or make a vow
unto God it's because they want something in return am I right like like
you know to use the contracting example you know why are you signing on to do
work because you want to get paid or you're signing on to pay money because
you want to get the work done it's usually a reciprocal thing when you
swear oaths when you make vows when you make commitments it's usually like I'm
gonna do this and you're gonna do this okay we shake hands and it's a deal
everybody understand and with God people will often make vows to God because they
want something in return from God like oh God if you get me out of this
situation then I'll do X Y & Z like I think it was Martin Luther I hope I'm
not screwing up the story who made a vow to God he was in a thunderstorm and he
thought he was gonna get struck by lightning because there's so much
lightning crashing around and he said God if you let me survive this I'm
become a Catholic priest so then he ended up surviving and then he entered
or he said he's gonna be a monk or something right who thinks I got the
story vaguely right what did I screw up help me out you don't even know all
right well let's pretend I just nailed it then so he you know oh if I if I get
out of this alive I'll become a monk well here's another version of that
story so I don't know if you know who the Donner Party is but I grew up in
Sacramento California and so this is part of the lore of Northern California
the Donner Party it's a fascinating story and also there's a great documentary
and in fact this is my favorite documentary of all time in any genre PBS
American Experience the Donner Party okay so that's that's what it's got who's
seen it before yeah so PBS American Experience the Donner Party is just a
marvelous documentary about this there's also a really great book about it called
Desperate Passage that I really like so this is just something that I grew up
learning about and understanding it was something that's local to Northern
California and it's just this harrowing tale about these people who are stuck up
in the Sierra Nevada mountains for an entire brutal winter and it's a story of
survival and everything it's a really interesting story but what's
interesting there's this 13 year old girl and this is covered in the
documentary and in the book 13 year old girl named Virginia Reed okay and she's
trapped with the Donner party and in the snow and I mean these people are just at
the brink right they're about to die she made a vow and said that if God spared
her life she will become a Catholic so she made this vow that said if God
spares my life and I get to see my dad again because her dad had left and she
wanted to see her dad again I will become Catholic is the vow that she made
and of course her family's not Catholic her family is Protestant and you know
but there were other Catholics that were in the Donner Party and she for
whatever reason thought they they seemed to be doing better or whatever reason
she's looking at the Breen family and they're Catholic and she says well you
know if I get out of this then I'll become Catholic but you see the quid
pro quo there and I'm gonna come back to this story in a little while but the
quid pro quo of God if you do this for me then I'll do this for you. Everybody
understand? These are the kind of vows that people make and here's another
story that's very personal to me a recent story is Roger Jimenez you know
he made a commitment to me and he you know I was at the brink at the end of
2024 or you know in the fall of 2024 summer whenever it was and I basically
had called him and was talking to him and you know what I didn't want to keep
I wanted to quit and he said no do not quit
he said I do not want to live in a world where you are not pastoring and
You know just when you got back from Armenia. I just felt stronger just to have you back on American soil
We need you don't quit and he said this he said listen. I'm your friend. I'm here for you
And he said I will defend you publicly. I will stand with you
I will defend you publicly do not quit and I'm kind of like, okay, you know, let's let's go
He said whether the storm I will help you and so I'm like, okay
Because you know
It's a little easier to go through life if you have people that have your back and you have friends that are with you and supporting
You but notice, you know the quid pro quo there is hey
You need to keep doing what you're doing pastor Anderson
You keep doing that and then I'll back you up and that's the exchange. Does everybody understand?
So I you know, I didn't quit and I kept going and I pushed through but then later he broke his word
Literally just a few weeks later. He broke his word and even publicly admitted last year. Yeah, I did say that but
But you know the situation changed
But but here's the thing nothing fundamental changed about the situation. Nothing. I said to him
I said I said did you know did you find out something new about me?
No, he already knew everything about me. He knew everything about my situation
you want to know the one thing that changed about the situation was just
More enemies attacking me more enemies attack me and it because for a brief moment there
it seemed like I was gonna quote-unquote lose and so he's going like this and
Deciding whether it's gonna pay off for him to keep his word or not
You can either do the right thing and keep his word or not. But to him, it's more like well who's winning
I think there's a meme like that son who's winning, you know, that's basically the way he's looking at the world is
Well, oh now that you're facing more opposition now that you're under more attack
Not that anything fundamental about the situation has changed but you know what I'm no longer gonna honor my commitment
I'm not gonna keep my word. Yeah, I said I would do it
But I'm not gonna do it. Is that gonna receive the blessing of the Lord now fast forward short time
They're after and what happened after he gets up and publicly says yeah, I said that but you know what?
I don't have to fall through on that cuz cuz the situation changed. Well, you know what?
He's not pastoring anymore. He's not even in church, right?
He's his wife and kids are going to the church without him. Where the heck is he? It's like where's Waldo?
Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? You know, I don't know if I don't know
What is more exciting the Jeffrey Epstein spottings in Israel?
Or if somebody could have a Jimenez sighting or Bigfoot or aliens, I don't know
There's all kinds of weird things in the news this week
But but but the point being is that God said you know who's gonna stay
You know who's gonna abide is the one who swears to his own hurt and changes not then you got a guy who swears in
His mind to his own hurt like oh, this is gonna hurt my ministry. This is gonna hurt my reputation
Oh, I'm not gonna be as popular or whatever and then what it what happens
He doesn't abide and isn't it amazing that the people who do honor their commitments are still here
And then the people who don't abide it's because they don't swear to their own hurt and change not now
Let's go back to numbers 30. I got a hurry. That's all a foundation here for understanding the rest of the passage and
our friend Virginia Reid 13 years old
47 and the Donner party is gonna come up in just a moment - because it's very relevant and I like to bring like concrete
Real-life examples to something like this to help us understand while you're there in numbers 30
Let me say this the most classic example of this is the birthday party you get invited to a birthday party and you RSVP
Yes, I'm coming. Then you get invited to a cooler
Better activity and then you break your RSVP. Is that the right thing to do?
No, because it's like you swore to your own hurt. He said well, I didn't swear. I didn't swear
What did Jesus say? Did Jesus say it's all about whether you swore or not. No Jesus said no I say unto you
I'm not just saying unto you not to break your oaths
I say unto you if you say yes, it's yes if you say no, it's a well
Did pastor Jimenez really swear you a blood oath? Is that relevant? He said I
Will and he did say I promise for what that's worth
But either way even if he didn't say I promise even if he just said yes, I will I will do this
Don't quit. I will do it. I'll be there. Okay, you'll be there. Yeah. Okay, you're gonna be my birthday party
You say you're gonna be at the birthday party. I bought a rack of ribs for you. I bought ice cream for you
I got cake for you and then oh you got invited to the cooler kid party down the street and
Everybody knows that you stay with your original RSVP. Am I right? You know, you don't just have some better gig
You know, it's like what if I'm preaching for some and I commit hey
I'm gonna preach for pastor Shelley at the at the Israel conference or whatever, you know
I'm gonna be there and then I get a better gig or something. Oh, sorry, something better came up
It's not the way we should live our lives should honor commitments be that kind of person do what you say what you will do
I repeat this to myself over and over again like a mantra do what you say you will do
I say that to myself all the time if I said I'm gonna do it
I need to just do it and sometimes these things come back to bite us
That's why we got to be careful what we commit to because you got to stay with it. You got to do it
So let's go back to numbers. We understand the verse the first two verses now
It says in verse 3 if a woman also vowed bound to the Lord and bind herself by a bond being in her father's house in
her youth and her father hear her vow and her bond wherewith she had bound her soul and her father shall hold his peace
At her then all her vows shall stand and every bond wherewith she had bound her soul shall
Stand right so you got a girl and she's making vows and her dad
Here's the vow and he says nothing well, then it's assumed he agrees why because silence is agreement unless he says wait a minute
No, you're not gonna do that
I don't agree with that the assumption is that he's okay with it
And so the vow stands everybody understands that look at verse number five
But if her father disallow her in the day that he heareth not any of her vows or of her bonds
Wherewith she had bound her soul shall stand and the Lord shall forgive her because her father disallowed her
Right. So here's the thing. She shouldn't be
Making these wild commitments without asking dad's permission
And if dad is there when she says it he could shut it down right then and there or maybe he's not there
Okay, Virginia Reid by Donner Lake dad's not there. Oh god, get me out of this and I'll become Catholic, right?
So then the Bible says well on the day that he hears about it is when he has the chance
So so months later when they're reunited and she says well, the good news is I'm alive dad
The bad news is I've sworn to become a Catholic all he has to say right then and there according to numbers 30 is well
Guess what your vow is Nolan void because you're a child
Because you're my daughter because you're living in my home and this doesn't have to be under 18
This is just in her youth in her father's house. You could be 21 25
You're still a young lady living in your parents house as a single young person, you know
And then you make some vow that dad vetoes then basically as soon as he hears about it
He can say uh-uh. No, you're not gonna become Catholic, right?
now ultimately she ended up actually becoming Catholic and
Marrying a Catholic guy and her parents forbade her to marry this Catholic dude and she married the guy
That her parents for bad why because she said well, I promised the Lord that I was gonna do this but is she really obeying the Bible?
No, because you know what you can promise the Lord all you want
But if dad says no then it's no and the Bible says the day he hears about it
He can disannul that and say no, that's not valid
You're not gonna do that and the Bible says that he God will forgive her
Meaning that God's not gonna punish her for breaking her vow whatsoever
Now if you make vows and break them you're gonna get punished
But in this case God's gonna let it go. He's gonna forgive now
Is it ideal that she said she's gonna do something and is not doing it? It's not ideal
That's why you have to be forgiven. You don't have to be forgiven if you didn't do anything wrong
She's doing wrong in a sense because obviously it's wrong to say you're gonna do something and then not do it everybody follow
But God will forgive her for it because he is telling her no obey dad
That supersedes your valve. So sometimes we put ourselves in a position in life
Don't miss this we put ourselves in a position in life where no matter what we do. There's not a great solution
It's like either way we're doing wrong
Well, then you know what?
You got to pick the lesser evil and you got to obey the higher power and you got to obey scripture and say okay
Yeah, it's wrong for me to say I'm gonna do something not do it
But the Bible says it's more wrong for me to disobey my parents and so therefore if I have sworn to do this the day
That my dad hears it he can say oh, no, you don't you are not gonna keep that vow
I forbid you to keep that vow
You are not gonna go worship idols at the pagan Catholic Church and marry this Catholic, bro
It's not happening. Then you know what she must obey dad. That's what the Bible says. This is a great scripture
I like this chapter it says in verse 6 and if she had it all in husband when she vowed or uttered ought out
Of her lips wherewith she bound her soul. So notice it's not just vows
It's not just work just if she just utters anything out of her lips
whereby she binds her soul if she commits to doing anything if she commits to anything and
She's married and her husband heard it verse 7 and held his peace at her in the day that he heard it
Then her vows shall stand. So if her husband hears her make a commitment and just says nothing then
Silence is agreement and it's assumed that he agrees with it and her vows shall stand
But if her husband disallowed her on the day that he heard it and again
It might not be the original day that she said it
It could be later when he finds out about could be months later like with Virginia Reid
Then he shall make her vow which she bowed and that which she uttered with her lips
We're with she bound her soul of none effect. It's meaningless. It's void
It means nothing and the Lord shall forgive her
But every vow of a widow and of her that is divorced
Wherewith they have bound their souls shall stand against her because the idea here is that a woman who is divorced or a woman?
That is a widow and now she's living on her own, you know, she's a free agent in that situation
So she doesn't have a male authority figure that has the power to veto these things because she's just she's a widow
She's on her own. She's single in that sense
But if she's a young lady, then her dad has that authority if she's a married woman
Then her husband has that authority if she's divorced or a widow. Well, then yeah, then you know
There's nobody really there to veto her situation
So it is what it is and verse 10 and if she vowed in her husband's house or bound her soul by a bond with an
Oath and her husband heard it and held her his peace at her and disallowed her not then all her vows shall stand and every bond
Wherewith she so this is a little bit repetitive it explains it again
Same thing jump down to verse 13 every vow and every binding oath to afflict the soul her husband may establish it or her husband may
Make it void if he holds his peace. He's confirming it silence his agreement verse 15
But and this is key, but if he shall anyways make them void after that
He hath heard them then he shall bear her iniquity
So let's say that he is quiet on the day that she makes the oath so or the day he hears about it dad or husband
Doesn't say anything silence his agreement
It's implied consent and so it's assumed that it's established and then later a week later dad says, you know
I thought about this over the last week and I changed my mind. I'm disannulling it now now
Here's what's gonna happen. She still has to obey her dad. Does everybody understand? She can't be like, well, sorry dad
You had to bring this up on the day that it happened
It's like no she still has to obey dad and not keep the oath
But here's the difference now the dad is gonna be punished as if he broke the oath or the husband is gonna be punished
So like if she's like, okay, fine, whatever then I'll I won't do it then because you're you're denying it then but now it's on
Dad now dad's gonna be punished by the Lord. He's gonna bear that iniquity
He's got that on his conscience now. It's as if he broke the oath, but if he does it on the day
He heard it. Everybody gets a pass simply understand that so I want to make sure that we understand that key phrase in 15
Because the contrast here is with doing it the day that you heard it or doing it after you heard it
That's the difference. Okay, and so one of the other things that we can learn from this and this is not a popular concept in
126 America, but the bottom line is that fathers have authority over their daughters and husbands have authority over their wives
And a lot of times wives will bark at this teaching that says wives
Be obedient to your own husbands as unto the Lord
And here's what sometimes women will object to when the Bible tells them submit to your own husbands
Be obedient to your own husband even as Sarah also obeyed Abraham
Calling him Lord whose daughters you are and so forth and they'll hear these things and and bristle at these things aback at these things
You know part of the reason why is because they'll say well, I'm not a child, right? Have you heard this objection?
I'm not a child. I'm my own woman. I can make my own decisions
I'm not a child. You can't tell me what to do as if I were a child, but hold up. Isn't the Bible here?
teaching clearly in Numbers chapter 30 that there is a
Transfer of authority from father to husband now obviously the husband and wife
Relationship is not exactly the same as a father-daughter relationship duh
Obviously there are major differences there, but at the same time though
There is an analogy here that just as the father has authority over the daughter
So the husband has authority over the wife and in this scenario in this context when it comes to this kind of authority
of having autonomy about making decisions in your life and making commitments and contracts and binding agreements and
Swearing oaths in this case. It is the same. You know what I mean?
It's not like it's like well
I had to obey my dad when I was growing up, but I don't have to obey my husband
That's not what the Bible saying okay, and here's the thing there
Here's another analogy the Bible also says that the wife is to be subject unto her husband just as the church is unto Christ
Now is the husband-wife relationship exactly the same as Christ relationship with the church? Of course not
Obviously there are differences between Christ and the church and husbands and wives how they relate but at the same time though
There is an analogy there isn't there there is an analogy and what the Bible is trying to do
Is it's trying to explain to us how the world works and it uses comparisons to do that and it's saying look
You know how the church is subject unto Christ. Yeah, you right. Amen
Everybody get that because I feel like everybody understands that I really doubt that there are any Baptist churches out there
That would say yeah, I don't really think that the church has to obey Jesus
You know, I'm sure there's some United Methodist out there that would believe that or some evangelical Lutheran Church of America
Church that would believe that or first Unitarian lesbian bishop church or whatever
I'm sure that there are people out there, but I'm saying like normal evangelical
Non-denominational Baptist churches or whatever are gonna all agree. Well, duh, of course
The church is subject unto Christ. Of course, we're supposed to obey Jesus and he says okay
Well as here's something you do understand as the church is subject under Christ
Well, guess what wives are to be obedient to their own husbands subject to their own husbands in everything, you know
And it's saying like this is an analogy and here's another analogy is that hey when you were a little girl
Your dad is looking out for you. He's protecting you. He's making sure you don't say stupid things like I'm gonna become Catholic
I'm gonna marry that Catholic that guy
You know
He hears you saying that stuff and he shuts it down and it's saying look when you get older and you're married your husband
Is also gonna have a veto power like that and say hey, no, you're not gonna go down that road
Well, but I already promised the Lord that I would well, guess what?
I'm disannulling that promise right now or I already promised so and so I already told so and so I would do it
Well, you know what? I'm disannulling it. Does everybody understand what I'm saying? And so I'm sorry, but the feminist
teachings of this world are not biblical. We need to get a biblical worldview and
Numbers chapter 30 is another brick in that wall of our biblical worldview. We've got 1189 chapters
Explaining to us who God is, what he requires of us, what he expects, what our lives should look like, how we should live our lives.
What does it mean to be a good person? What does it mean to be ethical? What does it mean to be moral?
What does it mean to live a good life? What does it mean to be a virtuous woman? The Bible is going to tell you in
189 chapters and this is part of that is
Respecting the God-given authority in your life respecting a God-given authority. Now, here's the thing, you know marriage is a big decision and
Unfortunately, anytime you get married you're kind of rolling the dice in a sense because of the fact that you're putting
Your destiny in the hands of someone else. You're trusting someone else. I mean marriage is a very high trust relationship
Both ways. I mean the husband is trusting the wife that she's gonna do him good and not evil all the days of his life
That she's gonna be a blessing to him that she's gonna be helpful to him
And she's gonna be good on him, you know, he's trusting her because she could really do him wrong
Okay, and then the wife is trusting her husband, you know, she's trusting him. Hey, you're gonna protect me
You're gonna look out for me. You're gonna do what's best for me
You are gonna be faithful to me
You are gonna love me and take care of me and provide for me. And if you think about it in both situations
You can't control the other person. So you don't know exactly how this is gonna turn out
And so you make this commitment for better for worse and and you know, you realize things could go sideways
And if they go sideways you you're stuck with it, you know, it's for better for worse for richer for poorer
You know, nobody wants to be poor. Nobody wants to be sick. Nobody wants but here's the thing
Your spouse gets sick your loved one. You take care of them. You stay with them
You honor that commitment for better or for worse
Sometimes you swear to your own hurt, but you change not anyway
But although both sides are taking a risk quote unquote and you say well, I just don't want to get married
It's too risky, you know here I have an idea. How about this? You can you'll never get in a car accident again
I'm gonna tell you how to never get in a car accident never drive. That's a way to never get in a car accident
Here's a way to never get struck by lightning never go outside, right? I mean, you know
Here's a way to never get hurt playing sports. You just never play sports
Here's a way to never run into a tree on skis and die don't go skiing
But here's the thing in our lives. We're not supposed to just live in fear and all I'm paralyzed by fear
So I don't make any decisions. I don't make any commitments. I don't have any friends. I don't get married
I don't you know, it's like look you got to put yourself out there
Well, I'm a business contractor, but I've seen so many people get burned. I'm just not gonna do any contracting
Well, how are you gonna propose? You know, sometimes you gotta you gotta sign that paper, you know
And look it could be stressful to sign on to big jobs big, you know million dollar projects and hundred thousand
I mean, here's the thing, you know our church. Yeah, we didn't buy a building
But you know we sign a lease and it's a commitment and it's expensive and you know, it could be stressful like wow
I just signed on to three quarters of a million dollars or whatever, you know
That's a lot of money, but but here's the thing nothing ventured nothing gained if there's no risk
There's no reward and here's the thing. Yeah marriage is a risk, but it's also super rewarding
Okay, but you want to make the best decision that you can because if they're a bunch of red flags
Don't take the risk, you know, you should make
Make that leap of faith
But it should be someone who's trustworthy if you're gonna put trust in them
Not some super sketchy red flag and then you're gonna you're gonna trust your life to that person. It's foolish
So marriage is a big decision now people in the world. They might be thinking in the you know
Oh, I do for better for worse
They got their fingers crossed behind their back and they just kind of think like yeah
Well, if it doesn't work out just get divorced, you know, whatever no big deal might as well give it a shot
I will give it let's try marriage see what happens. But look we're Christians. It's not how we think it's not how we live
We're in it to win it. It's ride or die. It's still death to us part
Failure is not an option. And so here's the thing you're taking that risk, but let me tell you something as a woman
I feel like the woman is taking the bigger risk if you think about it
I mean both parties are taking a risk
Here's why I think that the woman's taking a bigger risk because if you think about the woman, you know
She's not signing on to be the boss. She's signing on to follow. So here's the thing like let's say a guy
Marries a woman who is, you know lower character than he thought at least
He's the leader and he can basically, you know set the tone. He can still at least say okay
This is where we're going to church. This is where we're gonna live
This is what we're gonna do, you know
and he's still working hard paying the bills and whatever and at least you're probably gonna have a more functional situation than if you
Have a guy who is just you know
Leading you into false religion think about this leading you into some weird church
Leading you into false religion not paying the bills, right? I mean who do you think?
Determines more whether or not we live in poverty me or my wife
Now here's the thing we both play a role in this because she could spend us into the poor house or I could
Underearn us into the poor house. Everybody understand either one, you know is gonna hurt financially
But at the end of the day, you know, it's probably more the husband's work ethic
That's gonna end up determining the standard of living in a lot of ways
And also let's say my wife's spending got out of control. I have the authority
I have the power to rein her in whereas let's say my spending gets out of control
She's not gonna be able to say that's it Steven. You're done spending. This is not gonna work
I'm just gonna say well who died made you king. I do what I want
You understand what I'm saying? Because this this authority doesn't go both ways
Okay, and so what I'm saying to you young ladies is when you get married
Realize that you are marrying a leader
This is the guy is just as is this a guy that I can follow because you have to follow him and and so you like
Oh, I want to date this bad boy. Oh, he's so cool. And oh, he's just so edgy and whatever
But it's like that edginess is not gonna be fun when he's out super late on Friday night
So, you know you're home with the baby and he's out who knows where doing who knows what but he's so cool
Super cool. Yeah, he's out being cool being a party. You love that party guy party life
How cool is it though when you're at home and he's out partying and you're wondering if he's even being faithful to you
Or how cool is it when oh man, he's got the super cool hot rod vehicle or whatever
Okay, but just realize that basically he's gonna want to keep buying more hot rods and it's probably coming out of the grocery budget
It's probably coming out of your house
It's coming out of your fun money. Does everybody understand what I'm saying you what you want to do is look for a godly
considerate kind
righteous dude
Biblically because guess what the same guy who loves the Lord is gonna love you the same guy who loves his parents loves his friends
Loyal to friends loyal to parents loyal to God
That's the guy that's gonna be loyal to you and obviously we could admonish the young men the same way
Hey, don't be just looking for that. Oh that's smoke and hottie, or I guess sorry. I'm out of date with my lingo a real baddie
These kids today with their slang, you know never heard of this stuff. What is this? You know?
Oh, I just want to pull a baddie. I'm sorry, but I want a goodie. I'm not trying to pull a baddie
I want a goodie because you know what?
Oh, that's all fun and games when you're dating when your parents are paying for everything when you're just living life without a care in
The world but you know what when you're married and you have kids and she's got your credit card
And it's just like yeah, you don't want a baddie you want
thrifty is what you want and so we need to take marriage seriously and we need to get a biblical view of marriage and
And you know what? I'm just telling you we at Faith Forward Baptist Church. We're not giving an inch on feminism
We're not on fourth wave feminism. We're not on third wave feminism. We're not on second wave. Well, well the first wave
No, I don't even like wave zero. We're just anti-feminist
We don't believe in feminism. We're into patriarchy. We're into the Bible, you know, and here's the thing
We're not interested in compromising. We're not interested in bargaining. It's just it's what the Bible says
It's what we're gonna stick to and for me numbers 30 is as relevant as today's newspaper
And so I I don't think that anything has changed as far as numbers 30. I think it's God's Word
That's what God think God still believes that fathers have authority over their daughter that my daughter is living in my home
She's under my authority. I make those decisions. No one else. Okay say and it's same thing with my wife
You know, that's my wife and she answers to me
Not you or anyone else and and you know what and and thankfully my wife and I we rolled the dice those many years ago
And here's the thing, you know
I was really rolling the dice because I
Hadn't really known her for very long and she at least got to know all my family and friends and everything
I feel like she knew what she was getting
She really took a look under the hood by you know, she went and visited my job
She visited my family my friends my church, you know
I was taking a little more of a gamble in that situation, but you know what it paid off thankfully, you know God
took care of me and
25 years later were happily married and live in a good life and let me tell you something
You know what? I just want you to be happily married and to stay married. That's what I want
I'm not a mean bad person up here. Just just up here to just hurt everybody's feelings and just and just
Press and because I'm obsessed with power and whatever, you know, I just cuz I was electrician doesn't mean I'm obsessed with power
Okay, and yes, my favorite guitar technique is the power cord
No, I'm just kidding. But anyway, but the point is that you know what? Hey, I just want you to be blessed by God
that's my job as a pastor try to point you in the right direction so you can be blessed and
And I know that God's Word is right. Let's by rights in a word of prayer father
We thank you so much for your word and we thank you so much for this beautiful passage Lord and everything that we can learn
From it. God bless us as we go our separate ways and in Jesus name. We pray amen