Ephesians 5, the part of the chapter that I wanted to focus on is the latter part there
from verses 22 through 33 where God is giving instructions unto husbands and wives.
There are several passages like this in the New Testament.
This is probably the most famous one and it starts out by saying in verse 22,
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church
and he is the savior of the body.
For as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for
it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any
such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish.
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies.
He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherishth it, even as the
Lord the church.
For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife,
and they too shall be one flesh.
This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
And then in verse 33, he gives a synopsis again of what he's saying in this passage,
just the main thought.
He says, Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife, even as himself
and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
So according to this passage, we can clearly see that the key responsibility of a husband
toward his wife is to love his wife.
And the key responsibility of the wife toward her husband is to reverence her husband.
If we had to pick what is the main thing, that's the main thing.
Now there are many other things that we as husbands need to do besides just loving
our wives.
There are many other things that our wives need to do besides just reverencing us.
But when we want to talk about what is the major theme, it's wrapped up right there
in verse 33 when it says, Let every one of you in particular so love his wife, even
as himself and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
What does reverence mean?
It's like respect, but it's a stronger word for respect.
It's more like fear.
It's a very deep respect.
But what I want to preach about tonight, and if you would flip over to Proverbs 31,
what I want to preach about tonight is just some practical advice for your marriage.
I'm going to give some practical things that wives should do, that husbands should
do, and that both of us in our marriages should be doing in order to have a good
marriage.
You see, I strongly believe that what works for one person often will work for everybody
if it's just straight out of the Bible.
A lot of people think that it's got to be different for everybody.
I understand that, okay, people are different and they have different situations, but there
are certain things in the Bible where God just lays them out as just a principle,
that's just a universal principle where it just goes for everybody.
You can't sit there and say, Well, I just don't think that this arrangement will work
in my marriage where the husband's in charge.
I think in my marriage it would be better if the wife's in charge.
That just doesn't work that way.
Everybody thinks they're the exception and they're different, but honestly there are
a lot of principles that are just universal in the Bible that we could all put into
practice and that we could all use.
Now I'm not one who does a lot of marriage counseling.
A lot of pastors do a lot of marriage counseling.
They're doing marriage counseling just every day, every week.
I even know of pastors who put ads in the Yellow Pages in the marriage counseling section
just to do more marriage counseling.
I don't know why they hate themselves that much, but anyway, a lot of pastors do a lot
of counseling.
Now here's the thing.
If somebody asks me for advice on their marriage or has a question about marriage,
I'll always answer their question.
I don't just say, Hey, I don't do counseling.
I'll give them their question, but I don't really do counseling in the traditional sense
because of the fact that usually it's not really that hard to figure out what people
need to change in their marriage in order to fix it.
Usually I have to listen to somebody for about 60 seconds and then I can usually be
able to dish out some biblical advice, some biblical advice that will work for everybody.
But what I find is that the people who've often come to me and asked me for advice
about marriage, I give them advice and it's not what they wanted to hear.
And so therefore, the counseling session is cut short because I tell them, you know,
Do X, Y, and Z and do those things and then come back and talk to me if you still
have a problem.
And the reality is they say, Well, you know, I can't do that and that's not going
to work and I, you know, that sounds hard and everything like that.
And I always tell people whenever I give people advice on things like when people
come to me with marriage problems, I always tell them this.
I say, You know what?
I say, Here's the things that the Bible says you're supposed to be doing.
Do you agree that this is what the Bible says?
Oh, yeah.
And I say to that person, If you don't do these things, don't come back and talk to
me about it.
Now, I'm not one that says, Hey, if I give you advice, you have to take it.
Because you know what?
If somebody comes to me and gets advice and they don't think that my advice is right
and they don't think my advice is biblical, then they don't have to take my advice.
You know, I'm not I'm not God.
I'm not your master.
You know, if you just come to me for advice, I'll give you advice.
You can take it or leave it.
But here's the thing.
If somebody comes to me for advice and I give them biblical advice and they don't want
to follow it, I don't want that person to come back to me and say, Hey, I'm still
having the same problem.
What now?
The same thing I told you last time.
And in reality, our problems can often be solved with just some very simple biblical
solutions.
But people often don't want to take the steps necessary to fix the problem.
They don't often want to hear what the Bible says.
Often what they want when they want counseling is they want to tell you a lot of stories
and they want to give you all their dirty laundry and just get a lot of things off their
chest.
And frankly, I don't want to know about all the intricacies and all the negativity
within your marriage because let me say it this way.
I don't think it's necessary for me to know what you've been doing wrong in order
to tell you how to do it right.
I mean, think about it.
Let's say we were talking about cooking.
Let's say I were going to teach you how to cook, which would be very ironic indeed.
I do know how to make one thing well, and that is a cheesy omelet.
And I make one virtually every day of my life.
But let's say I'm going to teach you how to make an omelet.
I would say to you, come into the kitchen with me and let me show you how to make
an omelet.
I wouldn't say like, OK, sit down and tell me all the problems you've been having
with omelet making.
Tell me about all the failed omelets in your life.
Can you show me exactly how you're cracking the egg when shells end up in it?
Can you show me exactly why the yolk is constantly breaking at the wrong time when
you're making eggs?
I don't need you to tell me everything that's wrong in order for me to tell you how
to do it right.
Now, there are a lot of wrong ways to make an omelet.
I don't need to know them all in order to teach you the right way to make an omelet.
And so people somehow think that I have to know, or that a pastor or counselor has
to know, everything that's wrong with their marriage and tell them all the mistakes and
all the problems.
And then I'm going to sit here and listen to all this crazy stuff.
And then now I'm going to tell you how to do it right.
I just would rather skip a step and just tell you how to do it right.
And in fact, instead of having to just tell you how to do it right personally to
your face, which could be a little bit embarrassing for you if you come to me and have
to tell me, hey, you know, I'm having problems or whatever, it's even better if I can
just tell it to the whole church.
And so these things that I'm going to give to you tonight are just practical marital
advice that just works for everybody.
Just practical marital advice that just, it's for all of you.
It's for everyone.
So instead of having to just on an individual basis go through all your dirty laundry and
explain, you know, what the Bible says, you know, it's just better just to do it
as a group.
Just that's what the church is supposed to be, just to teach you the Word of God.
Now listen, if you do have a serious question, you do have a serious problem, don't refrain
from coming to me.
But I just don't need to know details and I don't need to go into a big, long
thing with you because honestly, it doesn't take long to figure out what the problem
is usually when you talk to people.
You know, people are not going to church.
They're not reading their Bibles.
They're not even married.
You know, they're like, oh, I'm having trouble getting along with my wife.
Well, actually, she's my live-in girlfriend.
It's like, well, wait a minute, you know, I'm not going to be able to fix that
for you.
You need to get married.
You know, you need to at least have some semblance of following the Bible or I'm wasting
my time even speaking to you.
But let me give you some practical advice today.
Just I'm going to give some advice for husbands, some advice for wives, and I just
hope that you can use something in the sermon.
I'm just going to give you a lot of tips and things that I've learned and things
that I've seen in the Bible.
And honestly, you know, I believe that these are just universal principles.
And that's why I don't do a lot of marital counseling, just because I don't want
to really get involved in other people's strife.
And I don't want to hear all the details.
Because honestly, I want to be able to think the best of you.
And I don't want to just know all your darkest secrets or something.
You know, this isn't a Catholic church where you go to the confessional booth and
just tell all to the pastor.
Now again, if you have a problem and you need my help, I don't want you to be afraid
to come talk to me.
I'm not going to judge you.
I'm not going to come down on you.
But at the same time, you know, it's better if you can just learn these principles in
a setting like this from the pulpit, right?
And be able to use these things in your marriage.
So first of all, I want to talk about, for the husbands, you know, some advice for
the husbands.
Look at Proverbs 31.
The Bible says in verse 28, it says, her children arise up and call her blessed.
Her husband also, and he praseth her, many daughters have done virtuously, but thou
excelest them all.
And the first thing I want to say about how to love your wife, because that's the main
thing that the husband is supposed to do, to love your wife.
First of all, you should love your wife more than you love anyone else.
And you should look to your wife as being the greatest woman in the world.
And you don't have anyone else that you love more or that is more important to
you than she is.
That's why he says there, many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excelest them
all.
Read the book of Song of Solomon, a great book on marriage.
You'll see the husband is constantly praising his wife's beauty.
She is the fairest, she's the most beautiful, she's the most gorgeous, she's wonderful.
And that's how we ought to feel about our husband or wife as married people.
We should love our wife more than we love anyone else.
Okay, and number two, we should praise our wife's beauty, not the beauty of other women.
Don't say to your wife, oh, isn't she so beautiful, isn't this other woman so beautiful?
And by the way, don't put up some calendar or some picture or poster of some woman other
than your wife.
That's not loving your wife.
If you're going to put up some other example of some beautiful babe that you have up, well
that's just in the garage, that's just where I work on my car, you know, that's just
a guy thing.
No, it's a sinful thing.
And you know, if you love your wife and you really want to make her feel special and
make her feel like she's the only woman in your life and that you care for her above
all others, you wouldn't put up those type of pictures.
And number three, never look at pornography.
And this is a big one in the day that we live.
And it's one that I don't often talk about just because I don't like to talk about
unwholesome subjects, but it needs to be dealt with somewhat.
Today, men are looking at pornography on a scale that's unbelievable.
It's pretty much the number one thing that the internet is used for.
If you look at the statistics on it, there's more traffic today going to pornographic
websites than any other type of website on the internet.
I mean, it's the main function of the internet.
Now go to Proverbs chapter six, let me show you some scriptures on this.
Proverbs chapter six, while you're turning there I'll read for you from Matthew 5.28,
but I say unto you that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed
adultery with her already in his heart.
This is serious sin when you're looking on a woman to lust after her, and that's
what you're doing when you pull up pornographic images of women other than your wife.
It says when you look upon a woman to lust after her, you have committed adultery
with her already in your heart.
This is a major sin.
And people try to justify this and say, well, you know, I heard this stupid saying, just
because I've already ordered doesn't mean I can't still look at the menu.
Every restaurant I've ever been to in my life, as soon as I order, they say, give me
that menu.
And they take the menu away from you.
So that's a dumb illustration.
But either way, that might sound cute to you, but you know what?
We as husbands need to have respect for our wife's feelings and understand that
she's not going to feel loved if we're sharing our affections with someone else.
And when we're lusting after some other woman's beauty in our heart and committing
adultery in our heart, it's a spiritual mental type of unfaithfulness, you know, when
you're going to lust in your heart after another woman.
Look at Proverbs 6 verse 32.
It says, but whoso committed adultery with a woman lacketh understanding, he that
doeth and destroyeth his own soul.
A wound in dishonor shall he get, and his reproach shall not be wiped away.
For jealousy is the rage of a man, therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance.
Now this scripture is talking about a man becoming jealous because his wife has committed
adultery.
But let me say this.
The flip side is also true.
A wife is going to be jealous of a husband who goes out and commits adultery also.
And that jealousy will produce rage and anger.
And we see that in the life of King David, where King David and his wife Michal became
estranged from one another because she was jealous of other women in David's life.
Because David did not keep his affections only upon her, but shared his affections
with others and had multiple wives.
And every story in the Bible where multiple wives are involved, there's jealousy involved,
there's rage involved, there's enmity involved.
Because this jealousy thing goes two ways.
And it's not the person who's jealous that's the problem, it's the person who's being
unfaithful that's the problem.
Oh, the jealous husband.
Yes, I'm a jealous husband because my wife is mine alone.
And every wife should be jealous of their husband, and every husband should be jealous
of their wife because we don't believe in sharing our spouses.
And so don't get angry at someone for being jealous, get angry at the one who is sharing
their affection with someone outside of marriage and not keeping themselves holy under
their spouse.
That's who we ought to get upset about.
But let me tell you something, I'm constantly hearing from people that are addicted to
pornography, that are struggling with the sin of looking at pornography.
And I'll read for you from Romans 13, 14, you don't have to turn there.
But it says, but put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ and make not provision for the flesh
to fulfill the lust thereof.
He said don't make provision for the flesh to fulfill the lust thereof.
Let me say this, if you are one who is struggling with internet pornography, we don't
need a marriage counseling session to deal with this.
You don't need to come to my office necessarily and go over this with me because
I'm going to give you the advice preemptively right now.
You need to get rid of your internet connection.
Now look, I'm not saying that everyone needs to get rid of their internet connection.
But if this is something that you're tempted by and that you're struggling with, then
you need to just get rid of your internet connection.
It's that simple.
Because think about it.
For example, you know, I don't drink alcohol.
I've never drunk alcohol in my life.
I've never drunk a beer or I've never been drunk.
I don't really know what that's like.
I grew up in a Christian home and that's one thing I never experimented with.
But let me say this.
If you were to put a bottle of booze in my kitchen cabinet, that bottle of booze would
be there untouched for the next hundred years.
I'm not going to touch that thing because it's just not a temptation for me.
It's something that I've never done.
It's something that I've never been into.
I have no desire to start drinking.
I've never drunk in the past.
I'm not going to drink in the future.
That bottle of booze would just sit in that cupboard and it would collect dust and it
really wouldn't bother me at all.
But let me tell you something.
Someone who's been an alcoholic, someone who's struggled with that and you put that
bottle of booze in their kitchen cabinet, that's a big temptation for them.
That's something that's going to cause them to fall.
Now again, I wouldn't store alcohol in my house just because I'm against alcohol.
But I'm just trying to illustrate to you that certain people have certain proclivities
towards certain sins because once you open that door of a particular sin, that temptation
is always going to be there.
Think about it.
If you've never taken heroin, you're not going to sit around just, man I wish I had
some heroin right now.
You can't crave something that you've never had.
And by the way, that's why it's better just to never even start smoking.
Then you're never going to crave cigarettes.
You never even started.
You never start drinking.
And then you're not going to crave that feeling of being drunk.
You don't even know what it is.
What I'm saying is that if you're one who struggles in that area or one who has
in the past struggled in that area and that's a temptation for you and you say, man
I just keep going back and looking at it, get rid of the temptation.
The Bible says lead us not into temptation.
You shouldn't even just have it right there.
I mean think about it.
And if you are one who has this tendency to look at pornography and you're carrying
a smartphone, you're just carrying around with you in your pocket the ability to
look at pornography at any time in your pocket.
And then you say well I just don't know why I can't kick this habit.
I mean that'd be like if you were saying you know I really want to kick the habit
of gluttony and overeating and you just live in a house that's just filled with
Twinkies and Ho-Hos.
I mean all over the counters you have Twinkies, you have Ho-Hos, you've got soda in the
fridge, you've got all kinds of sweets and treats and you're saying I just don't
understand.
I just keep giving into temptation.
Obviously the smart thing to do would be to get it out of your house.
You know and just have nutritious foods in your house as an alternative.
And so I'm telling you that if you are one who is struggling with internet pornography,
you need to just get rid of your internet connection because honestly you can live
without the internet.
Now the internet does have many legitimate uses but wait a minute we could all live
without it.
People didn't even have, when I was a kid, and I'm a young man, people didn't even
have computers when I was a kid.
Almost no one had a computer let alone the internet.
And you know what I thank God, listen to me, I thank God that when I was a kid
this stuff wasn't available.
Because honestly if this stuff would have been available when I was a teenager I can
see that I myself could have fallen into this.
You know when you're young, when you're immature, when you're carnal, when you're
sinful, when you're immature, I could see myself having gotten on the internet and
looked at stuff that I shouldn't have looked at.
Thank God it wasn't available back then.
You know and by the time it became available, by the time the internet came out and was
high speed and you could actually look at images or videos or anything like that,
you know I was already mature enough in the Lord to not seek after those things.
But you know what?
Little kids and teenagers, they're not going to have that discernment, they're not going
to have that maturity, they're not going to have that wisdom and so don't give them
unfettered access to the internet.
Because it's just the door is wide open for them to just out of curiosity or just
out of their wickedness to go into things that they shouldn't go into.
Now the best illustration I could think of about this is my microwave, okay.
You know the microwave is really convenient but you know we came to a point where we
decided you know we don't want to eat stuff out of the microwave.
It's probably not the healthiest way to make your food and we decided let's use the
microwave less.
In fact let's just, and then we said let's just stop using the microwave.
But we just kept using it every day because it's just so convenient.
And my wife and I decided we're not going to use the microwave anymore but we just
kept using the microwave.
Why?
Because it's just so convenient.
It's just so easy to just, oh just this once you know just heat something up real
quick, oh just heat that, oh just heat everything up.
You know you're heating stuff up every single day.
And so finally I realized the only way to stop using the microwave is to get rid
of the microwave because if it's there you're going to use it.
And so I ripped out my microwave and threw it in the garbage can and you know put
in like a hood fan instead and guess what I've never used the microwave since.
And I don't find myself just you know sneaking food down to the gas station and using
the gas station's microwave you know because it's just the fact that it's just
right there.
It's just so easy.
It's just so convenient to just fall back into that.
Now I'm not saying that using the microwave is a sin okay.
I'm just saying that I didn't want to use the microwave.
I was trying to eat healthier and use the oven and the stove to cook things instead
of the microwave.
But when you have a problem with alcohol, alcohol needs to be gone from your house.
And if you have a problem with smoking you need to get all cigarettes away from you.
And if you have a problem with drugs you need to have all drugs taken away from you.
And you need to get rid of the internet access if it's leading you into sin.
You know whatever it is that's leading you into sin whether it's your microwave
or whether it's your internet I'm just kidding.
But my point being don't make provision for the flesh to fulfill the lust thereof.
That's an easy fix folks.
And you know you can downgrade this thing to just being a phone if you can't handle
that internet connection.
Now if you're using it for a legitimate purpose and you're not using it to get into
sin well you know what that's up to you because you're an adult to be able to parent
yourself and take care of yourself.
But don't just give a kid unfettered access to this because they're not going to refrain
from looking at the wrong things.
They don't have the maturity or the wisdom of the discernment in most cases.
Number four.
These are just tips for husband I got to hurry because I got to get to the wives.
Number four as a husband you need to make all the money and pay all the bills.
Why?
Because the one who pays the bills is the one who makes the rules.
And the Bible says but if any provide not for his own and especially for those of
his own house he had denied the faith and is worse than an infidel.
Number five.
You need to be manly.
First Corinthians 6 9 in a long list of sins says the unrighteous shall not inherit the
kingdom of God.
He will not deceive neither fornicators nor idolaters nor adulterers nor effeminate nor
abuses of themselves with mankind.
The modern Bible versions change this and take this out.
But according to the King James Bible being effeminate is a sin.
What does it mean to be effeminate?
It's a man that acts womanly in his behavior.
You say why is that bad for my marriage?
Because your wife her primary responsibility to you is what?
To reverence you.
It's going to be hard for her to reverence you when you're a little Twinkie and a little
sissy and when you're being a girly man she's not she's going to have a hard time
respecting you.
What are we supposed to do for our wives?
Love our wives.
How do we love our wives?
That means we love her more than anyone else.
We don't share our affections amongst other women.
We're not looking at pornography.
We're not you know praising other women's beauty and putting up other posters and things
like that.
And then what's her responsibility toward us?
To reverence us.
Well you know what if you want reverence and you want respect strive to be respectable.
If you want to be respected you need to be respectable.
Here's one thing that will bring you respect when you pay the bills when you make the
money as the Bible teaches that the man should provide.
When you're manly and someone that your wife can look to as someone that's manly
not a queer little sissy.
Number six and for this I'll read First Corinthians 13 11.
When I was a child I spake as a child I understood as a child I thought as a child
but when I became a man I put away childish things.
Number six you need to be mature and not be juvenile and do things like playing video
games all the time.
You know you want your wife to reverence you it's hard to reverence a video game addict.
I mean the word reverence and video game addict just don't go together.
I want my wife to fear me and reverence me and respect me and you know you spend
hours and hours playing video games or being juvenile in other ways.
You say what are some other examples of being juvenile.
Just trying to be just so trendy all the time.
You know just acting like a child thinking that you're like a teenager or something.
Grow up.
Be manly.
Be an adult.
Be mature.
It will be easier for your wife to respect you when you're respectable.
Okay being juvenile.
You know you see people today that they get they get so into professional sports
sometimes and they get juvenile about it sometimes.
You know they're like a little kid or something.
You know and look if you like sports I'm not against you liking sports but you know
what you need to keep that in you need to keep that mature and adult and in moderation
and not you know not just become one that's just like a little kid or something just you
know in front of the TV for hours and with your all your you know junk food and
your sedentary and you're out of shape and you're just you know just so into the
game and like a little kid I mean little kids love to idolize sports stars.
You know men grow up and they do their own exploits you know they they live their
own lives and they don't get that excited about a game.
It's a game.
It's not life.
It's not yeah you know we beat them yeah you didn't do anything.
You're not on that team.
We won.
You're not on the team.
You couldn't even run from one of that football field to the other without you know being
out of breath let alone play the game.
All right.
But I'm just saying you know you got to be mature folks.
No woman wants to be married to a video game addict.
No woman wants to be married to someone who acts like a child and is juvenile and
is into video games and just idolizes sports heroes and in an immature way.
OK so number seven go to Proverbs 31 once again Proverbs 31 I don't know if you're
still there but in Proverbs 31 I want to show you that some things that you can do
to help your marriage as a husband is to express appreciation unto your wife express
your feelings toward your wife of love and affection tell her that you love you love
her but also express your appreciation for her and what she does.
See the Bible says in Proverbs 31 28 her children arise up and call her blessed her
husband also and he praises her you see that many daughters have done virtuously
but thou excel is them all.
Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain but a woman that fear at the Lord she shall
be praised watch this give her of the fruit of her hands and let her own works praise
her in the gates so she should be recognized and praised and rewarded for the good things
that she does and shown appreciation by her husband and eighthly let me say this
to husbands never complain about your wife to someone outside of your marriage and this
is something that husbands and wives are both often guilty of you'll hear it all the
time a husband criticizing his wife to other people it's a shame wives criticizing their
husband to other people it's hurting your marriage these are some things that you can
do husbands to help your marriage love your wife love her more than anyone else
express that love to her don't put up pictures and things of other don't get into
pornography also you need to make the money and pay the bills you need to be manly
you need to be mature don't be juvenile you need to express your appreciation your wife and don't
complain about your wife to someone outside of the marriage now gone to the wives let
me just flip that coin of course that the wife should not complain about her husband
to other people number one don't criticize your husband to other people and I I've heard
it in this church I've heard it everywhere I go you hear people just criticizing their
their spouse to other people and you know when that get but when that gets back to
them that's going to hurt your marriage and and you know what it does it's breaking
the closeness and the trust of your marriage because here you're supposed to be on the same
team and you what you're doing when you criticize your spouse to other people you're
siding with other people against your spouse is what you're doing you know you're
putting distance between you and your spouse and you're siding with someone else to gang
up and criticize your spouse that's why you should never hang around with people
that are critical of your spouse or critical of their own spouse or of just all men in
general you know there are women out there they're just these man hating type women
they've been divorced three times and let me tell you something all men are this and
all men you know and they're just these man haters or even just women who just despise
their own husband because the Bible says evil communication that corrupts good manners
a companion of fools shall be destroyed and when you walk with people that are like that
you're going to learn their ways when they are constantly criticizing their husband
or just negative about men in general and there are women that are like that and
not only that especially if they're not critical of your husband because you know
they might have something against your husband in particular maybe your family you have
family members who are just constantly ragging on your husband to you you need to just
stop hanging around with those people for a while and tell them hey we can have a relationship
again when you stop criticizing my husband to me and stand up for your husband you
know stand up for your wife but you know this part is under the women stand
up for your husband and side with him against other people don't side with his enemies
against him it's going to destroy your marriage here are some other things under that
same type of a point don't ever tell a story about your husband that embarrasses
your husband that's another way irreverent thing that you could do to your husband
telling a story about your husband where it's embarrassing unto him or reflects poorly on him
that you know what do you what are you accomplishing with that all you're doing is
just enraging your husband all you're doing is just tearing him down in your own sight and
in the sight of others now also don't disclose your finances to other people as a woman
don't go around talking about your financial problems as a wife because you know what that does
that reflects poorly on your husband and then that's going to make him ashamed and that's going to make him angry
and that's embarrassing unto him you know don't go around just talking about your financial
problems all the time because it reflects poorly on your husband are you listening
you know being critical of your husband you need to love him and stand up for him
and not do that you know another thing that you should not do if you want to have a good marriage
don't compliment other men to your husband don't go to your husband start telling him how great
other men are isn't he so handsome isn't he doesn't he make so much money and you know
isn't he such a great guy look at how he treated what a wonderful guy isn't he so cool
you know that's just a subtle way of just not being supportive of your husband you know you
should praise your husband and compliment him not compliment other men to him and again you know
this is you know we talk about men with their you know with their posters and their whatever
they get into on the internet but you know what it's a it's a two-way street with that too
when women are idolizing these stupid faggoty actors right and saying like oh you know oh
Brad Pitt oh you know Johnny Depp oh oh you know Tom Cruise oh you know Justin Bieber oh you know
I just had to throw that in you know but but let me you know Keanu Reeves oh Leonardo DiCaprio
oh you know shut up these guys are a bunch of sodomite faggots they're not you know and you're
you're idolizing him for being so manly he's an actor he's acting manly because he's an actor
in real life he's a queer he's a sodomite he doesn't even like women seriously Hollywood
listen I've got a good friend who works in Hollywood he said it's all sodomites
did you need him to tell you that but it's true though I mean it's all it's it's filled
with sodomites that's who dominates Hollywood that's who runs it that's who the actors are
it's a bunch of filth and so it's just as wicked when women try to jump on this
bandwagon and start lifting up and exalting their male heartthrobs and so forth you know
that's hurtful to your husband because jealousy is the rage of a man the Bible says you want
to enrage your husband start telling him about Johnny Depp with his faggoty eyeliner
every time I see a picture of that guy he's got eyeliner on what's his deal
oh he's a pirate yeah I'm sure pirates went around putting on makeup I mean what kind of
stupid this is the stupidity of Hollywood I'm sure I'm sure pirates just they really you know
had their Revlon and their Maybelline and their Max Factor on that pirate ship and they
applied makeup no he's applying makeup because that's the queerness and weirdness of Hollywood
for you and so don't sit there and insult your husband and demean your husband by praising
other men to him praise him to him tell him how great he is tell him what a cool guy he is
tell him what a stud he is don't sit there and praise other men whoever they are to your
husband and not praise him to him that's insulting especially when you're praising the queers of
Hollywood okay what else number two that's number one don't don't be critical of your husband
especially to other people number two treat your husband respectfully you know obviously the
Bible said see that the wife reverence her husband what are some ways you could do that
well first of all you should not scold or rebuke your husband now go to uh first timothy
a lot of ladies they mistakenly get the idea that it's their job to correct and rebuke and
straighten out their husband all the time well he's not doing what he's supposed to do and
he's not obeying the lord and he's not you know but here's the thing god did not give
women that responsibility to make sure that their husband lives right now he did give husbands
the responsibility to make sure that their wife lives right well that's a double standard
yes it is you're finally getting it but listen it's not the wife's job to be the parent
or an authority figure over the husband and scold him and rebuke him and correct him
and make sure that he does what he's supposed to do because it's not your responsibility
now the Bible does teach that is the man's responsibility you know as for me in my house
we will serve the lord and to pre and to to to wash and cleanse his wife spiritually and and
help her to grow and to be able to present her and so forth but let me say this it's not
the wife's responsibility to make sure that is that her husband lives for the lord it's only
a one-way street there it's the husband's responsibility to make sure the wife is is doing
what she's supposed to be doing but it's not the wife's responsibility to make sure the
husband's doing right and and here's the thing this will destroy your marriage when you have this
dynamic of a wife that's trying to rule over her husband lord over him scolding him correcting
him rebuking him and you're not allowing him to be the leader as the Bible teaches he should be
you know a scripture i would point to is first timothy 5-1 where it says rebuke not an
elder but and treat him as a father and the younger men as brother now i realize this isn't
about husbands this is about the pastor when it says rebuke not an elder it's talking about
an elder meaning like a bishop or a pastor but here's the thing if you're not supposed to rebuke
the pastor but and treat him as a father what that means is that if the pastor says something
that you think is wrong or does something that you think is wrong you're to go to him and
kindly and treat him and explain to him the his error of his ways okay it's not saying hey
you can never tell the pastor he's wrong you can tell the pastor he's wrong but you
entreat him as a father you come to him respectfully and let him know you don't rebuke him what's
rebuke rebuke is is scolding it's all about the respect that you show what's the difference
between entreat entreaty and rebuke the level of respect but here's the thing the reason we
can apply this same principle unto husbands and wives is because we know that the wife is told
to reverence her husband and so in fact the wife should show even more respect to her own
husband than unto the pastor you know it's even a greater respect that's shown i don't
even call myself reverend hey reverend i don't even go by that name okay because i you know
i think that that word's overkill for a pastor i mean that's my opinion i think reverend is a
little over the top for a pastor but it's not over the top for a husband and it's not over the
top for the lord you know those are people that deserve those titles and let me say this
you know you should not rebuke or scold your husband if you know bring in something to his
attention kindly okay but you don't just don't feel the need that it's your responsibility to
fix every problem in his life you know he's a grown man if you don't like the way he is
why did you marry him well i married him with the hopes i'd fix him later that was a bad idea
you know because honestly it's not your job as a wife to fix him
um you know you need to show him the respect of not scolding and and rebuking him and coming
down on him and you know just to give you some examples you know i i've seen wives just
completely freak out and and you know they're gonna they're gonna threaten to leave their
husband they're gonna call the police they're gonna do because their husband smokes pot now
listen smoking pot's a wicked sin i'm not gonna defend it for one second i'm against it
it's wrong it's sin i put it in the same category with drunkenness the bible commands us to be sober
it is sinful it is wrong but let me tell you something it's not the wife's job to just say
hey you know if you don't stop drinking i'm leaving if you won't stop smoking pot i'm
leaving you know if you don't quit doing that you know what that is out of line there's not
what the bible ever teaches you'll never find in the bible where the bible says hey you know
if your husband's doing wrong you know you you can you can fix it
you can you can threaten to leave no the bible says let not the wife depart from her husband
that's what it says says that the husband and wife are in it for better for worse and not to
be be to cut asunder what god has joined together and so this attitude of just well but there
are just certain things where i draw the line and blah blah blah you know
you just need to get over it and i know that that preaching might make some people
uncomfortable but i i'm gonna i'm gonna say it right now that you know what when you get
married it's till death do us part and it's a relationship where the husband is in authority
that's what biblical marriage is and you know if you marry a guy who's a loser who sits around
playing video games and smoking pot you know you got to think about that before you get married
but if you're married to a guy like that let's say right now you're like pastor that's me right
now pastor anderson i am married to a pot smoking video game addict then you know what
your job is to be the best wife that you can be to love your husband to reverence your husband
to obey your husband and to serve the lord and do the best you can in that situation
you know i'm sorry that your life turned out that way
but honestly when you get married that's the commitment that you're making
and so this attitude of scolding and yelling at your husband screaming at your husband because
of whatever the whatever the sin you know it's not going to help your marriage it's not going
to fix anything it's not biblical number three you want to have a happy marriage wives
you know you liked it when i was on the husbands now you're like but anyway you know uh
don't complain don't be a complainer you know the bible says when the people complained
it displeased the lord and the bible talks about clamor being clamorous about being a
complainer it's a sin okay uh number four go to romans chapter 12 romans chapter 12
and i'm just i know i'm just throwing a lot of points at you i'm just throwing points at you
but you know what if people would do this stuff they would get along with their spouse
you know do you want to get along with your spouse follow these principles and you'll get
along with your spouse you know you want your you want you want to get along with your
husband and you're having a hard time getting along with your husband well here's the thing
stop scolding him be respectful to him stop trying to correct him and straighten him out
and fix him all the time and start obeying him that's what the bible says but that's not
what people want to hear often but that's what the bible says you know you want to uh
to get along with your husband you know you got to stop criticizing him to other people you got
to stop being critical of him and praising other men unto him you know you need to start
uh loving him for who he is you need to stop complaining uh number four
romans 12 15 says rejoice with them that do rejoice and weep with them that weep number
four is that you need to have empathy for your husband meaning that when he's happy you
should be happy with him and when he's down you should mourn with him now that's called
empathy when you reflect the feelings of other people yourself so when your husband is
rejoicing you should be rejoicing with him if he's happy that should make you happy and if
he's sad or down that should make you down also and you know what this can be obviously one
that could go both ways too between husband and wife you say why is this important because
some people have a marriage where they're they're not in tune with each other
and basically you know when one person's down they're happy the other one gets happy that
you're down and then and then other and then you know when you're happy i'm in a bad
mood why because this is what it is they have this us against them like variants with
their spouse where basically it's kind of it's like a it's like a battle i mean look people are
like this with their spouse sometimes where it's like a battle instead of being like a friendship
or they're on the same team they're they're both you know doing the same because think
about this if we're both on the same team and we're both united us us against the world
kind of a mentality then when i'm happy you're going to be happy too i mean if the people we
love are happy that should make us happy right and if the people that we love are sad wouldn't
that make us sad too but you'll see people that have a bad relationship this isn't how they are
one will get happy when the other's down or vice versa okay so you know how you would apply
this is just when you see your spouse happy rejoice with them share in their joy and when
you see them down you know don't just be all jovial and bubbly the bible says not to sing
songs unto those that are of a heavy heart it can really irritate people when they're in a bad
mood and you're just like really happy and jovial it's almost like a little salt in the wound
instead you should have some empathy and try to mirror your spouse's mood a little bit and
try to understand where they're coming from and try to feel what they feel and then i i just
got to quickly hurry through some of these but if you would go to proverbs chapter one
proverbs chapter one obviously you know things that wives should be doing i'm going to skip
some of this for the sake of time but obviously you know cook the food that your
husband likes to eat you want to get along with your husband make food that he likes
if it's food that he doesn't like don't make it now obviously you need to feed him
nutritious food so i'm not saying to just you know just feed him all kinds of junk because
that he just wants junk you know try to slowly ease him into nutritious foods if he's
one that is prone to junk food but honestly make him the food that he likes and that's
going to make him happy you know be feminine you know i talked about being manly being
masculine you know you need to be feminine your husband doesn't want you to be going around
the house in your carpenter pants and you know your short hair and you're all
gruff and you're walking like a cowboy and everything you know
be feminine
you know be appealing unto your husband by being feminine by being womanly in your demeanor
and in your appearance if you want to get along with your husband what's the sermon about it's
about getting along it's about having a good marriage it's about being happy in your marriage
and not having a lot of marital problems and a lot of these things people will resist
these things that i'm listening i'm just throwing ideas at you and a lot of people
will resist these things well why should i because you want to have a happy marriage
because you want to obey the bible because you want to do what's right well you know
why do i have to always you know make the food that he wants and why do i have to
you know do all this stuff because you love your husband because you want to get along
now what are some things that both people should be doing well did i return to proverbs 1
proverbs 1 24 says this because i've called and you refused i've stretched out my hand
and no man regarded so what we get in this verse here is the image of you know reaching
out to somebody and being rejected you know it reminds me of that video there's a really
good video on youtube where obama i think he's in russia or something and he walks up to these these
foreign ministers and these ambassadors he holds his hand out to one and they just don't shake
his hand and then he goes to the next and they don't shake it and he goes to the next
and then finally he's just kind of like you know but you know uh has anybody seen that video
does anybody know what i'm talking about go home and watch it but anyway uh you know if you're
one that doesn't have to demolish their internet because of your you know pornography
addiction no i'm just kidding but anyway honestly uh obama is just getting just completely
disrespected by these people i mean he just he holds out his hand and there's i mean it's so
embarrassing can you think of anything more embarrassing i mean you're the president united
states you hold out your hand and just i mean he's and you can tell he's just embarrassed
he doesn't know what to do now get that image in your mind and think about this you don't want
to treat your spouse that way because in our lives on a daily basis and and and so this
point is number one don't rebuff your spouse when they reach out to you you know and
obviously you know i'm not talking about a handshake where you know your your wife goes to shake
your hand you're like i mean hopefully your relationship's not that bad but you know honestly
throughout our lives there are often times where we as husbands or wives will reach out
to the other person in some way make some gesture you know what i'm saying make some
gesture of maybe wanting to have a conversation or you know wanting to have fun together wanting
to go somewhere together or just you know wanting to do something and and just reaching out
to them proverbially speaking and wanting to have a close relationship with them maybe you just
want to give them a hug or just want to talk to them or bring up something to talk about and
and you know when you when you're when your wife comes to you and and and reaches out to
you like that and you just do like a a russian emissary did to obama i mean that you know
that's going to hurt your wife's feelings or you know and you know what's going to happen
next time they're going to be less likely to reach out to you in the future you know when
you call to someone and they refuse when you stretch out your hand and no man regards it you
know what you're going to be a little shy about reaching out your hand and a lot of marriages
that the husband and wife get very distant from one another and really cold with each other
and really estranged from one another because when one person reached out the other person refused
and then the distance just builds and the coldness just builds and then you're going to be
less likely to reach out that hand the next time and then not only that but number two that's
number one but number two you know especially when you're when your spouse wants to as the
bible says lie with you you know and when the when your spouse wants to go to the bedroom
with you and you turn down your spouse you're doing damage to your marriage and by the way
that is a sin according to first corinthians chapter seven go to first corinthians seven
quickly i don't want to spend a lot of time on this but i just want to briefly touch this point
but see honestly the stuff that i'm saying right now this stuff is not being practiced in
most marriages and that's where the problems are coming from it's where a lot of the problems
are coming from you know you want to know why 50 75 percent of marriages are ending in divorce
it's because of of men looking at pornography it's because they don't love their wife more
than any other woman it's because they don't show her love and affection it's because they
don't you know uh live their life in a respectable reverence worthy way it's because wives are
not obeying their husbands they're not respecting him they're critical of them they're down on him
they're scolding him they're not empathizing with them you know uh and you want to know why
uh spouses are having a bad marriage you know part of it is because of of a lack of a bedroom
life of a lack of intimacy in the bedroom uh between married people and the bible talks a
lot about this you know i'm not going to go into a lot of scriptures on it tonight
but the bible of course says in in verse two of first corinthian seven nevertheless to avoid
fornication let every man have his own wife and let every woman have her own husband
let the husband render unto the wife do benevolence and likewise also the wife under the husband
the wife hath not power of her own body but the husband and likewise also the husband
hath not power of his own body but the wife defraud ye not one the other except to be with
consent for a time that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer and come together again
that satan tempt you not for your incontinence now what the bible is teaching here is that if
your wife wants that relationship with you and you turn her down you're committing sin
because you're defrauding her i mean does fraud sound like something sinful fraud that's
a pretty strong word he says you're defrauding and the bi and if the bible says defraud her
not and you're defrauding her then it's a sin because you're disobeying the word
and then the other way around too if the man or i'm sorry if the if the woman you know
rebuffs her husband her husband wants to have that physical relationship with her
and she turns him down you know what that is also sin but not only is it sin because it's a
violation of first corinthian seven not only is this sin it's also it's also stupid
now here's why it's stupid who here is a man that says i want my wife to commit adultery
and who here is a woman that would say i want my husband to commit adultery
okay so here's the thing by denying your spouse that relationship you're being stupid because
you're opening up temptation for your spouse to commit adultery now again i'm not excusing
anyone who commits adultery and i would never say well you know that adultery was justified
because of you know the fact that it was being denied at home but let me tell you
something stone the adulterer with stones okay is my opinion on that but let me you know
adultery is a major sin but listen if you're just a smart man or just a smart woman
and you realize that your spouse has a need in that area and you're not filling it
you know what are you opening up the possibility of that need being filled somewhere else and
you're being stupid so number one it's sin number two it's stupid and number three it's
hurtful you know and again this is like the whole thing of you know your spouse is reaching
out to you trying to have a good relationship with you and you shoot them down then they're
going to be less likely to reach out to you the next time and then it's going to build
distance and coldness and anger you say well i you know i don't i don't feel like it
well you know sometimes i don't feel like going to church and sometimes i don't feel like reading
my bible and sometimes i don't feel like eating my vegetables and sometimes i don't feel
like praying and sometimes i don't feel like doing a lot of things like going to work and
paying the bills but you know what you do things in life because they're right to do
you do the right thing because it's right not necessarily because you feel like it okay
you do what is right and you know sometimes you do things for other people
you know not necessarily for yourself but you do things for other people because it's the right
thing to do number three go to first peter chapter three this is a this is a good one
first peter chapter three is that we should be courteous to one another what does it mean
to be courteous to one another that means to be polite and and to talk to each other in kind
words isn't that what you think of when you hear courteous being courteous you know using
kind words being polite to each other talking nicely to each other now you you might not think
of this as a marriage verse but this actually is a marriage verse if you look at the context
look at first peter three eight it says finally be ye all of one mind having compassion one of
another love as brethren be pitiful be courteous but if you get the context of this verses five
through seven are all about marriage do you see that so verses five through seven are about
marriage in fact the whole chapter from verses one through seven is all about marriage and then
he wraps it up by saying finally be courteous so you this is applicable under marriage because
verse five says after this manner in the old time the holy women also who trusted in god
adorned themselves being in subjection under their own husbands even as sarah obeyed abraham
calling him lord whose daughters ye are as long as you do well and are not afraid with any
amazement likewise ye husbands dwell with them according to knowledge watch this this goes with
being courteous too giving honor unto the wife do you see that giving honor unto the wife
as under the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of life that your
prayers be not entered and then we have the verse about being courteous in verse eight
so another thing that you can do to have a better marriage is to treat your spouse with
courtesy be careful of the words that you use with your spouse don't use harsh words but be
polite be courteous be gentle with your spouse and and do not speak to them in a very impolite
rude discourteous way by the way this isn't in my notes but in the scripture it says that
sarah obeyed abraham calling him lord that will improve your marriage call your husband lord or sir
is that what the bible says
oh man that's crazy no you're crazy if you think that the way our culture deals with
marriage is the right way if you think that the american culture promotes a good marriage
you're crazy i think that i think the bible's right i think you're wrong i think that it was
a good idea when sarah called abraham lord and i think it's right for wives today to call
their husband sir sir would be like a monode or lord you say oh i can't even imagine that
well you know what uh welcome to you know uh the world of biblical marriage
i can't even imagine that oh okay how much tv have you been watching
you know where are you getting your ideas about what's right and wrong not from this book
apparently because the bible is pretty clear on this uh another thing on this same subject
of of being courteous is you know we need to be slow to anger and part of being slow to
anger because the bible says let every man be uh swift to hear slow to speak slow to wrath
slow to anger another part of being slow to anger is not being really touchy and what i mean
by that is that you know you just wear your feelings on your sleeve where everything that is
said unto you and again this stuff goes for both husband and wife every little thing your
spouse says like what's that supposed to mean what do you mean by that you know just
your spouse says something that maybe is a little ambiguous give them give them the benefit of
the doubt or give her the benefit of the doubt and don't just jump all over your spouse
and just be on a hair trigger i mean think about it just on a hair trigger just waiting
for her to say the wrong thing and i'm just gonna explode you know just on a hair trigger
to blow up just get angry just touchy every little thing is just what's that supposed to mean
and another another thing about this too is people who put a negative filter on everything
that their spouse says like they put a negative slant on it like let me give you an example
and the verse i thought of with this is where the bible says unto the pure all things are pure
but unto them that are defiled and unbelieving is nothing pure but even their mind and
conscience is defiled you know sometimes we judge people by our own heart and it's like no
matter what they say we're going to take it the wrong way because we have a bad attitude
now let me give you an example of this of just putting a negative filter on everything
there are people who just anything you say to them they interpret it in a negative way
like for example let's say i said to my wife
wow this this meal is amazing i mean this spaghetti is way better than usual
oh so what you're saying is that all the other times it tastes like garbage
you know or like wow honey you are so gorgeous today oh so normally i'm not so why just today
you're saying yesterday i looked awful and you know it sounds silly but some people are like this
you know you just tell you know it'd be like if you if you told your husband
like wow you know you are you have really been uh you know uh bringing home some great
paychecks lately honey it's like what do you mean lately i've been supporting you you know
and look in all of those examples isn't it a positive statement that's being made
hey this this meal is this is the best this is the best spaghetti you've ever made
this is oh so in the past there was something wrong with it you know or hey you look great
today or hey you're really bringing home the bacon these days but what happens is you know
there's two ways that you can interpret that you know if you if you love your spouse and
you want to get along and have a good marriage you know what you're going to do you're going
to look at things through a positive filter you're going to give the benefit of the down
you're going to latch on to the positive part of that statement
and say thank you and not just fixate upon the most negative aspect to that
of that statement and that man there's so much more in my notes i have like
way too much for one sermon here but go if you would to uh
go if you would to luke chapter six luke chapter six i gotta hurry up and finish but
you know it's it's it's amazing how people people who love each other they they interpret
everything that their spouse says and does in a positive light they put a positive spin on it
and then people that are disgruntled with their spouse they put a negative spin
on everything that their spouse says or does and so you know this is something that you need
to work on just having a positive attitude toward your spouse now one part of this too is
and i'm just trying to blow through some of these last points is that you know you should
never hold a grudge from one day to the next in your marriage the bible says be ye
angry and sin not let not the sun go down on your wrath that means at the end of the day
everything's over and the next day it's a fresh start every day has to be a fresh start
but you know when marriages go downhill it's they don't just go downhill in one day
people don't just have a happy marriage and then they just wake up one day
have horrible fighting lawyer in the afternoon sign the papers in the evening you know and it's
just like wow we just got divorced in 24 hours went from being happily married to divorced
no what it is is it's a buildup of of bitterness and the bible talks a lot about
bitterness where you don't forgive and you you have the same grievance that you're angry about
and you're letting the sun go down on your wrath okay that's where marriages are destroyed
and so we need to make sure that we don't have that we're not quick to anger and that when anger
comes we don't hold a grudge from day to day but that we let things go because then when our
spouse sins against us we can still have a fresh start tomorrow and not just have a negative
slant on everything for the rest of our lives because of you know this fight that we had
you know be positive and start over a fresh start in the next day
okay uh number six don't make negative comparisons about your spouse in your mind
in other words don't compare them negatively to other people like oh that husband is better
than my husband in this way or he's better looking than my husband or he's better provider
than my husband or she's better looking than my wife or you know if you're never let negative
comparisons enter your mind about your spouse okay number seven uh don't don't let your appearance
and your hygiene go to pot if you want to have a good marriage you know if you want to
have a happy marriage don't just be one that just lets yourself become a slob that doesn't
take care of the way that you look you don't take care of your body you don't take care of
your hygiene and uh that you know you're just making yourself as unappealing as possible to your
spouse well you know what that's bad for your marriage uh and then uh lastly this in luke chapter
six it says in luke chapter six verse 32 for if you love them which love you what thank have
ye for sinners also love those that love them and if you do good to them which do good to you
what thank have ye for sinners also do even the same and if you lend to them to whom ye hope
to receive of whom you hope to receive what thank have ye for sinners also lend to
sinners to receive as much again but love your enemies and do good and lend hoping for nothing
again and your reward shall be great and ye shall be the children of the highest for he
is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil what we see here is that we should a couple
things number one we should not wait for our spouse to be the person that they're supposed to
be before we start being the person that we're supposed to be he says don't just love those
who love you don't have this attitude that says well I'm going to start loving my wife when
she starts referencing me when she shows me some love then I'll show her love or as a wife to
say well I'll reference my husband but he needs to be more loving first no the bible says that
we as christians should be the one to make the first move and that we should do right by
our spouse love them and and and obey the lord and and do right by them whether they are a
bad spouse or not so don't blame everything on your spouse and say well I would be a great
wife if I were married to somebody else or I'd be a great husband if I were married to a woman
like so and so I'd be the best husband ever I'd be the best wife ever you know what that's a
lie because god expects us to do it in whatever situation we're in to be the best so I don't
care how much of a loser you think your husband is you need to just be the best wife that you
can and no matter how bad of a wife you think you have you need to be the best husband you
can and you know you may find that by doing your part they'll do their part more too
and you say well what if they don't well you know what god's still going to bless you and
you're going to be right with the lord because at least you did what you were supposed to do
and that's what christ is calling us to do not to just love those that love us
not to just do good unto those that do good unto us but to be the one who loves even our
enemies I'm not saying your wife is your enemy or your husband's your enemy
but if they are at enmity with you you still should love them and do right by them and not
have this attitude of you know well you know I'll do this if you do this and because I did
this now you're going to do this you know when you do something for your spouse when you
give unto your spouse it shouldn't be just to get something in return when you give something
to your spouse or do something to your spouse something for your spouse you should do it out
of the goodness of your heart with no strings attached and a lot of bitterness in marriage
comes from people they do something for their spouse it's like now I want something
in return it's like well wait a minute that's not how it works you know you show your love
and you do things for your spouse hoping for nothing again not not expecting it to be
requited but rather just because it's out of the goodness of your heart okay now again obviously
there's an authority structure there and there obviously there are expectations that the husband
asked for his wife and so forth but that's another story I'm just talking about when it
comes to acts of kindness and when it talks about just you know being loving and doing the
right things you know we can't wait for our spouse to do right by us and then all of a
sudden we're going to start obeying the bible we need to be the one to take the first step
and you need to take this this sermon and not try to apply it under your spouse and go home
and say did you hear him did you hear what he said he said you're supposed to make me the
food I like you know you're and you're supposed to be you know doing this and that and you
you know and then it's like whoa yeah you let's throw your video game console in the
trash because he talked about that too you know look honestly
just apply this to your don't go home you know you've already failed if your attitude is just
blaming the other person and you're you know it's all their fault and and if they
if they could only get this message and apply it but you know if only you could get this
message and apply it you know you need to be the one to take that first step let's bow our
eyes and have a word of prayer father we thank you so much for our wives and our husbands
lord respectively and and thank you for the teachings of your word lord to help us to stay
married because everyone around us is failing and divorcing and and and not staying married
lord thank you for giving us your word to give us some guidance how we can succeed lord
and how we can actually have a successful marriage that would honor you and not to
just succeed by staying married but actually to be happy and to get along with each other and
enjoy each other's company lord but help us to to be willing to take some steps and make
some changes in our lives and you know a lot of the things that i said tonight might not apply
to a lot of people but lord i pray that there would just be at least one thing that
that each uh married couple heard tonight that would help them just at least one thing that
they'd say you know what that's something that i think i could do better and i think i could
have a better marriage if i would put that into practice and so lord i just pray that
every single person would walk away with one truth tonight that would help them to have a
happy successful marriage for the sake of their kids for the sake of our church for
the sake of christ and for the sake of our nation and in jesus name we pray amen