Well, this morning we're going to be talking about the first wife of David, whose name
is Michal.
And this is a very sad story with Michal.
What went wrong?
You know, why did things go so poorly between David and his first wife Michal?
Now when we think of David, obviously we think of him as a great man of God because the Bible
tells us he's a man after God's own heart.
What was so great about David?
Well, obviously he had the great faith in chapter 17 where he went up against the Philistine
and he slays Goliath with the sling in his hand.
He gives God all the glory.
So he's a great man of faith and what we just read in chapter 18 is the aftermath because
it's right after that David and Goliath story.
Also we know that when David did do wrong, he was repentant.
He was sorry.
He was a great repenter and so that obviously scored him a lot of points with God.
Also I think the biggest thing with David is just that he loved God with all of his
heart, mind, soul, strength, and so he wrote all these great Psalms about just the passion
that he had for loving God and loving the word of God.
So obviously David is a great man of God in the Bible, but then of course there's this
glaring fault in David where he committed this horrible sin with regard to Bathsheba
and Uriah the Hittite later on in life.
But major sins like that don't really come out of a vacuum and so I think it's also informative
to look at what actually went wrong in his marriage, what actually went wrong with his
first wife because ultimately that's going to feed into part of the reason why he would
commit that horrible sin with Bathsheba down the road.
So let's go and look at the story of Michal in the Bible and figure out what went wrong.
Now just to bring you up to speed of course, in chapter 17 David kills Goliath and then
in chapter 18 the women of Israel are singing praises to David and they're praising him
more than they're praising Saul and so Saul begins to get jealous and he begins to envy
David and to think of him as a threat to his kingship.
And so before where we're going to begin here in verse 17, Saul already has tried to kill
David a couple times by throwing a javelin at him.
And so let's pick up the story in verse 17.
The Bible reads in 1 Samuel 18, 17, And Saul said to David, Behold my elder daughter Merab,
her will I give thee to wife, only be thou valiant for me and fight the Lord's battles.
For Saul said, Let not my hand be upon him, but let the hand of the Philistines be upon
him.
So here's Saul pretending that he likes David publicly and saying, I'm going to give you
my eldest daughter to wife, but you need to go out and fight the Philistines and do a
lot of brave deeds.
And he figures that in the course of doing all these brave deeds, he's probably going
to get himself killed.
And so then I won't have to worry about him.
But of course it doesn't work out that way because the Lord's with David, the Lord's
blessing David.
And so it says in verse 18, David said to Saul, Who am I and what is my life or my father's
family in Israel that I should be son-in-law to the king?
And of course, David does go out and fight valiantly against the Philistines, but God's
blessing him continually.
So then it says in verse 19, but it came to pass at the time when Mirab, Saul's daughter
should have been given to David, that she was given unto Adriel the Maholothite to wife.
So the first thing, point number one is that Saul reneged on his promise to give David
Mirab as his wife.
So this is the first thing that went wrong is that Saul lied.
Saul said, I'm going to give you my daughter Mirab to wife.
You just have to go out and kick some Philistine butt and I'll give you this wife.
And Saul broke his word.
He went back on that.
And so that's the first thing that went wrong.
But look what the Bible says in the very next verse.
It says in verse 20, and Michal, Saul's daughter loved David and they told Saul and the thing
pleased him.
So Saul's got two daughters, Mirab and Michal.
He gives Mirab to another dude, even though he had promised her to David.
But then Michal kind of speaks up or kind of puts out a feeler and lets people know
like, hey, you know, I'm into David.
And so, you know, this message gets brought by the servants of Saul to Saul saying, you
know, Michal actually wants to marry David.
She actually loves David.
And so Saul's like, oh, okay, you know, that'll work.
That's a great idea.
And so it says, they told him and the thing pleased him well.
And then in verse 21, it says, and Saul said, I will give him her that she may be a snare
to him and that the hand of the Philistines may be against him.
Wherefore Saul said to David, thou shalt this day be my son-in-law and one of the twain.
So notice how jolly Saul sounds in that verse, like, you know, by Jove, you're going to be
my son-in-law with one of the two.
But in reality, he's thinking in his heart, oh, man, she's going to be a pain and, you
know, she's going to be a thorn in his side and I'm going to use her in another ploy to
get him killed with the Philistines.
So we have two more problems.
Number two is that Michal loved David, which is kind of a rare statement in the Bible.
We typically don't see statements specifically telling us that a woman loved her husband.
Usually you don't see a lot of statements like that in the Bible, but there's no indication
anywhere in this story or any of the following stories that David loved Michal at all.
Okay, and that's what you're going to see as we read through this is that Michal really
loved David.
And the Bible repeats that a few times.
He didn't love her at all, from what we can tell in scripture.
And then problem number three is the evil in-law, okay, because Saul is obviously this
evil father-in-law that is trying to sabotage things with David from the beginning, okay?
Let's keep reading in the story.
It says in verse 22, and Saul commanded his servants saying, commune with David secretly
and say, behold, the king hath delight in thee and all his servants love thee.
Now therefore be the king's son-in-law.
Now why is he communing with them secretly?
This shouldn't be something that you would have to hide or make it a secret, but it's
because Saul is also hoping that this second marriage falls through.
Remember he reneged the first time, but the second time he's hoping it falls through for
another reason.
He doesn't actually want David to be his son-in-law.
He doesn't actually want to give him Michal's wife.
And so that's why he just communes with him secretly and says, be the king's son-in-law.
And Saul's servants spake these words in the ears of David, verse 23, and David said, seemeth
it to you a light thing to be a king's son-in-law, seeing that I'm a poor man and lightly esteemed.
So David's very humble about this when they come to him.
Verse 24, the servants of Saul told him saying, on this manner spake David.
And Saul said, dost thou you say to David, the king desireth not any dowry, but a hundred
foreskins of the Philistines to be avenged of the king's enemies.
And then it gives the motive here, but Saul thought to make David fall by the hand of
the Philistines.
So Saul figures by sending him to go just pick a fight with the Philistines, to go kill
Philistines and to mutilate their corpses, he figures certainly this is going to get
David killed.
Going behind enemy lines, killing the enemy and mutilating their corpses to the tune of
a hundred Philistines.
And so he doesn't feel like he's going to have to follow through on this marriage with
Michael, which is why he brought the whole thing up secretly in the first place because
he doesn't really have sincerity about it.
And so it says in verse 26, when his servants told David these words, and notice these next
words, it pleased David well to be the king's son-in-law and the days were not expired.
But notice no mention of having any interest in Michael as a person.
Nowhere does it say that he loved Michael.
It pleased him to be the king's son-in-law, not it pleased him to be Michael's husband.
Okay, so you can see that this love between David and Michael is a bit one sided.
She really loves him.
We don't see any indication of him reciprocating that love.
Look at verse 27, wherefore David arose and went, he and his men, and he's not going to
do this by himself, and slew of the Philistines 200 men.
I mean, talk about going the second mile.
And David brought their foreskins and they gave them in full tale to the king, tale like
a tally, like counting, right?
So meaning that the number was fully 200, not just roughly 200.
That he might be the king's son-in-law and Saul gave him Michael his daughter to wife.
And Saul saw and knew that the Lord was with David and that Michael, Saul's daughter, loved
him.
Again, her loving him, but not the other way around.
And Saul was yet more afraid of David and Saul became David's enemy continually.
So again, you have this evil father-in-law that is out to get David, okay?
Then the princes of the Philistines, verse 30, went forth and it came to pass after they
went forth that David behaved himself more wisely than all the servants of Saul so that
his name was much set by, and then in verse one of chapter 19, and Saul spake to Jonathan
his son and to all his servants that they should kill David.
So what do we have here?
Two major problems with this marriage right away.
The marriage has started out, it's David and Michael, you know, they're both single, neither
of them have been married before, they don't have any baggage or anything.
They get married and we have two major problems right away with this relationship.
Number one problem at the end of chapter 18 is that you've got this one-sided thing where
it seems like Michael really loves David and David maybe just married her to be the king's
son-in-law and isn't really that into her as a person.
And then number two, you have this deranged homicidal father-in-law who wants to kill
David, okay?
So already we can take a couple of morals from the story here because what's the purpose
of these Old Testament stories?
When we read stories in the Old Testament, the actions of the characters, even the actions
of the good guys, are often very morally dubious, right?
They do a lot of right things but they also do a lot of wrong things.
So what is the point of these stories?
The point of these stories are to illustrate for us biblical truth and we have to compare
scripture with scripture.
We have to look elsewhere in the Bible to figure out what's right and wrong in these
stories.
So a couple of morals that we can take from the story right away is, number one, don't
marry someone that you don't actually love.
You know, in order to have a good marriage, it's not enough for just one party to love
the other.
You really need to love each other to have the right kind of a marriage, okay?
The Bible commands in the New Testament, husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved
the church and gave himself for it.
We are commanded as husbands to love our wives.
And then the Bible also says in Titus chapter 2 that the women are to be taught to love
their husbands and to love their children.
So we have commandments on both sides that we must love our spouse.
And if this is not happening, there are going to be problems.
And so we need to have marriages where the husband and wife love each other and that
it's not just a one-way street, okay?
Number one, so marry someone that you actually love.
And if you're already married, well, you better just figure out how to love the person that
you're married to because you're commanded to love your wife.
You're commanded to love your husband.
And God's not going to command you to do something that's impossible, okay?
You can work on that.
You can work on your heart.
You can pray for God to help you with that and you can do actions in your life that will
help you be more loving of a husband or more loving of a wife.
But there has to be love in order for the marriage to work, okay?
The Bible commands it.
So marry someone that you actually love, number one.
Number two, don't be a meddlesome in-law, okay?
Do not be an in-law who actually takes a side against your child's spouse or attacks your
child's spouse or criticizes your child's spouse.
Here's the thing, you may not like that person when they're dating or you may not want your
child to marry that person, but once they get married, it's too late at that point.
It's over, it's done, they're married.
And so you should never want to sabotage that relationship or talk bad about your son-in-law
or talk bad about your daughter-in-law.
You don't want to do that because you're going to cause problems in your children's marriage
and you should not want your kids to get divorced.
The Lord, the Bible says, hates divorce.
And so you should want your children to stay married even if you weren't jazzed about the
guy or gal that they married in the first place.
Once they're married, you need to do what you can to support that union and not to tear
it down.
And it's wicked when you see in-laws sowing seeds of discord between their children and
their spouses.
It's ungodly, it's wicked, okay?
It's not your place to get involved unless you want to get involved in a positive way.
If you want to tell your daughter how great her husband is, if you want to tell your son
how great his wife is, but don't get in there and criticize your son-in-law or daughter-in-law.
Don't be that evil and especially don't become this homicidal maniac.
But even short of that, you don't want to be a meddlesome in-law.
You'd never want to attack your child's spouse or even physically attack them.
And then here's the third moral of the story so far.
Don't ever side with your parents against your spouse.
Now I am a huge believer in honor thy father and mother and I believe that that is extremely
important that we honor our father and mother and that the Lord commands that and it's really
something that will benefit us to follow.
But at the same time, I would never side with my parents against my spouse, okay?
Your loyalty needs to be number one to your husband or wife.
That's the number one loyalty right there, okay?
Even more than your loyalty to your parents, okay?
So be loyal to your spouse.
Now Michal actually wins in that area because she was definitely loyal to David in the story
as we're about to see.
So let's go ahead and jump down to verse number 10 of chapter 19 as we continue the Michal
David saga here.
Look at verse number 10, and Saul sought to smite David even to the wall with the javelin
so he's back to trying to kill David again.
He's not, thankfully he's not very good at aiming his javelin because David's always
able to dodge the javelin every time.
But he tries to smite David to the wall with the javelin but he slipped away out of Saul's
presence and he smote the javelin into the wall.
So he was definitely throwing it as hard as he could is what that means because it actually
stuck into the wall.
And David fled and escaped that night.
Saul also sent messengers unto David's house to watch him and to slay him in the morning.
And Michal, David's wife, told him saying, if thou save not thy life tonight, tomorrow
thou shalt be slain.
She's telling him, look, they're outside and in the morning they're going to kill you.
If you don't get out of here right now, you're going to be dead in the morning.
So she's helping him out, she's giving him a warning.
So Michal let David down through a window and he went and fled and escaped.
So what we see in the story is that Michal's actually being loyal to David, she's supporting
him, she's protecting him from the evil father-in-law King Saul, but she's taking a lot of initiative
too.
She's not just siding with David but she takes a lot of initiative in the story.
I mean, she gets him the message and then she actually lets him down through a window,
so that's not easy.
She had the strength to sit there and lower him down through the window.
She takes a lot of initiative, she definitely cares about him and is protecting him.
But what do we see from David as she takes all this initiative and does such a good job
of warning him, rescuing him, letting him down through the window?
Look at these three verbs in a row at the end of verse 12.
He went and fled and escaped.
You know, I mean, everything's in the Bible for a reason, nothing's accidental.
There's no thank you, goodbye, I love you, you know, I'll be back, I'll come back for
you, you know, come find me, you know, it's just like, he went, he fled, he escaped.
He's just like, okay, bye, and just gets out of there as fast as he can, right?
And then Michal continues to take initiative.
Look at verse number 13.
And Michal took an image and laid it in the bed and put a pillow of goat's hair for his
bolster and covered it.
So she puts like a mannequin type thing in the bed and, you know, puts the covers over
it, makes it look like someone's in bed.
And when Saul sent messengers to take David, she said, he's sick.
And Saul sent the messengers again to see David say, bring him up to me in the bed that
I may, I don't care, he doesn't need to be well for me to kill him.
Bring him sick, carry him in the bed.
And when the messengers were come in, verse 16, behold, there was an image in the bed
with a pillow of goat's hair for his bolster.
And Saul said unto Michal, why has thou deceived me so and sent away my enemy that he's escaped?
And Michal answered Saul, he said unto me, let me go, why should I kill thee?
Of course, that didn't actually happen, but this is her, again, just inventing and, you
know, she's got the, she's got the decoy in the bed.
Here I'm going to let you out the window.
She's got the story for Saul.
I mean, she's got some stuff figured out.
She's taken some serious initiative here.
She's not, she's no dummy.
There's a dummy in the bed, but she's no dummy.
And the thing is, she is definitely, you know, a person who has a lot of energy, spunk.
She definitely has personality as a Bible character.
You know, again, she's the one who's saying, hey, I want to get married to David.
She's taking initiative all the time.
Okay.
So she seems like a pretty resourceful, virtuous woman to have around.
But anyway, verse 18, so David fled and escaped and came to Samuel to Rhema and told him all
that Saul had done.
And he and Samuel went and dwelt in Naoth.
So he told him all that Saul had done to him and he and Samuel went and dwelt in Naoth.
So then in chapter 20, here's what's interesting.
We're not really going to look at chapter 20 for sake of time, but in chapter 20, we
have a whole chapter on David and Jonathan.
And by the way, we have lots of other passages of scripture on David and Jonathan as well.
But in chapter 20, we have this whole chapter about David and Jonathan.
Now think about how much Jonathan and Michal have in common.
They're both Saul's kids because Saul has these two daughters, but he also has sons.
And one of his sons is Jonathan.
What do Michal and Jonathan have in common?
They both love David.
They're both loyal to David, even though Saul hates David, they remain loyal to David.
And so forth.
But you want to know the colossal difference is that in this entire chapter that we have
about Jonathan in chapter 20, we see David loves Jonathan back and the Bible keeps telling
us that over and over again and that there's actually mutual love and affection there.
And let me just give you one example.
Look at verse 41 of 1 Samuel chapter 20.
And you know, we don't have time to look at all the Jonathan passages, but look at 1 Samuel
chapter 20 verse 41.
And as soon as the lad was gone, David arose out of a place toward the south and fell on
his face to the ground and bowed himself three times and they kissed one another and wept
one with another.
Watch this.
Tell me if this is one side, is it just, is Jonathan bringing all the energy to this friendship?
They kissed one another and wept one with another until David exceeded.
So David is even more emotional than Jonathan.
David exceeded.
I mean, David is just coming unglued.
He's just, he's just blubbering and just losing it.
So compare, they kissed one another and wept with one another until David exceeded with,
he went and fled and escaped.
He just kind of can't get out of there fast enough.
You see the difference?
And obviously God is juxtaposing these interactions with Jonathan and Michael.
It actually highlights kind of the lack of caring on David's part for Michael as a person.
You don't see any evidence of it.
Okay, so now we're going to jump forward in time.
Go to chapter 25 because we're just highlighting the stuff that pertains to Michael.
So let's jump forward in time.
We're going years into the future.
A bunch of time has gone by and we get to chapter 25 and it says in verse 42, and Abigail
hasted and arose, 1 Samuel 25 42 and rode upon an ass with five damsels of hers that
went after her and she went after the messengers of David and became his wife.
David also took a Hinnom of Jezreel and they were also both of them his wives.
But Saul had given Michael, his daughter, David's wife to Faltai, the son of Laish,
which was of Gallim.
So what happens over time?
After a certain period of time goes by, we don't know how much time, ultimately Saul
ends up taking David's wife, Michael, who he left at home, and just giving her to another
dude to be married to another dude, which is obviously super wrong, super sinful, but
that's what they do.
And then David goes out and does what?
He just basically marries someone else, and in fact he marries two someone else's.
He marries Abigail and Hinnom.
So now he has these two other wives and Michael's given to some other man.
Now you could just blame this 100% on Saul, and obviously Saul is very guilty here, but
a lot of time has gone by, years have gone by, and there's no record of David making
any attempt to get Michael, his wife, back, right?
There's no record of him saying, give me my wife back.
There's no record of him trying to do some kind of a black ops mission to get her back,
or sending any of his mighty men to go get her back, or anything like that.
And keep in mind, David has some resources.
First of all, he's a powerful warrior.
He's got a whole band of powerful warriors with him.
He has people following him.
This guy's going to become the king of Israel, and he already has a huge following, even
at this time.
He's able to outsmart Saul on multiple occasions in and around this time.
Where there's a will, there's a way, my friend.
If he really wanted to get his wife back, he would have gotten his wife back, because
he's got time for everything else, he does everything else, he succeeds at everything
else.
I mean, remember, he's always behaving wisely.
Everything he does prospers.
He fights the Philistines, he wins.
He goes against Saul.
He never fights against Saul offensively, but he defends himself against Saul, and he
always wins.
God's with him.
God's blessing him.
It's clear there's no effort made, there's no mention of any effort being made, and so
it's pretty hard to imagine him actually really caring that much or trying when there's no
indication of that in the scripture at all, okay?
And so she ends up being given to some other guy.
He just throws up his hands and says, hey, I'll just marry a couple of other women, whatever.
Now let's fast forward many, many years until after the death of Saul.
Let's go to 2 Samuel chapter 3.
Second Samuel chapter number 3.
Second Samuel chapter number 3, and again, a lot of time has gone by.
Many years have gone by, Saul is dead, and in fact, Saul has been dead for years at this
point.
It's not like Saul just died.
Saul has been dead for many years.
So years go by, Saul dies, and then many more years go by, and in between Saul dying and
what we're about to read, there are sort of two factions because some people are following
David and want David to be king, and that's the tribe of Judah that's really following
David the most and then other people out of other tribes, but then a lot of people are
still following Saul's house and there's a son of Saul, Ish-bosheth, that is being propped
up or lifted up as a possible king of Israel, and so there's kind of a civil war going on
during this time between David's faction and Saul's faction, although it's of course Saul's
house because Saul's dead.
So it's guys like Abner and Ish-bosheth and things trying to keep the Saul dynasty alive
when it's going to go to David, ultimately, we know.
So many years after the death of Saul, go to 2 Samuel, chapter 3, verse 9, and Abner
is finally sick of Ish-bosheth, the son of Saul, and so Abner, who's the actual brains
behind the house of Saul's operations, he decides to come over to David's side.
So look what it says in verse 9, so do God to Abner and more also, this is Abner talking
about himself.
So do God to Abner and more also, except as the Lord has sworn to David, even so I do
to him, to translate the kingdom from the house of Saul and to set up the throne of
David over Israel and over Judah, from Dan even to Beersheba, meaning the entire nation
because Dan's the northernmost point and Beersheba is the southernmost point.
Verse 11, and he could not answer, Ish-bosheth that is, could not answer Abner a word again
because he feared him.
And Abner sent messengers to David on his behalf saying, whose is the land?
Saying also, make thy league with me and behold my hand shall be with thee to bring
about all Israel unto thee.
He's saying look, let's end the civil war, I'm going to bring everybody over to your
side David, I'm the mover and shaker on the side of the house of Saul, I'm done with this,
let's have peace, I'm going to bring the whole kingdom around to you.
Look what David responds in verse 13 and he said, well, I will make a league with thee
but one thing I require of thee, that is, thou shall not see my face except thou first
bring my call, Saul's daughter, when thou comest to see my face.
Now again, every word matters.
Although he's going to call her his wife in verse 14, when he's actually talking Turkey
with Abner, what does he actually say?
He says, bring me my call, Saul's daughter, when thou comest to see my face.
So first and foremost, she's Saul's daughter, not his wife.
Why is that important?
Because obviously here this is more of a political calculation than anything because he's trying
to be the king over all Israel and so by having this wife that is Saul's daughter, that is
politically solidifying him as a leader over all Israel because he's anointed by God and
he's married to Saul's daughter, that's to help bring people into the fold as far as
following David.
It's a political move more than anything else.
Just like it pleased him to be the king's son-in-law in the first place in chapter 18
of 1 Samuel.
And so it's, you know, deliver me my, so you know, you got to bring me my call, Saul's
daughter when you come to see me.
Then look at verse 14, and David sent messengers to Ishbasheth, Saul's son, saying, deliver
me my wife Michal, which I espouse to me for a hundred foreskins of the Philistines.
Now why is he calling her my wife to Ishbasheth?
Because he doesn't want to emphasize the relation to Saul when he's talking to Ishbasheth who's
the rival for the throne.
Remember it's David versus Ishbasheth.
He says to Ishbasheth, you know, give me my wife, she's my wife, that's why I want her.
When he talks to Abner it's like hey, it's Saul's daughter, bring her back here.
He's not going to say that to Ishbasheth because then Ishbasheth sees what's going on.
So he's trying to make it sound all reasonable, like, you know, I paid good foreskins for
this, you know, wife, you know, I want my, it's my wife, bring her back.
But again, the Bible doesn't have anything extra in it.
Everything in the Bible is there for a reason.
No word is wasted, okay?
It's very economical about the way it tells these stories and so everything matters.
Notice the change from Saul's daughter to my wife depending on who he's talking to,
okay?
Because we know what the real motivation is here.
It's not because he's, you know who he's really into?
He's really into Abigail and Ahinoam.
That's who he's into.
The ones that he picked because he liked them, okay?
Not the one that picked him and it pleased him to be the king's son-in-law, okay?
So here's the thing, don't get married to please other people, okay?
Don't get married because, you know, it's a good business deal or it's a good political
deal or it's going to make other people happy.
You know, you need to make sure that you actually marry someone that you want to get married
to, okay?
And make sure that she wants to get married to you, you know, or if you're a woman, make
sure that he wants to get married to you.
You know, it should be a mutually free will decision to get married.
You should both want to get married and both love each other, okay?
And so, Ish-bosheth sent, verse 15, and took her from her husband, even from Faltiel, the
son of Laish.
Remember, she's already been given to this other dude.
And so, even from Faltiel, the son of Laish, and her husband, her husband, because I mean
this guy is married to her, notice the contrast between this guy and David.
And her husband went with her along weeping behind her to behoove him.
I mean this guy, even when she's being taken away from him, he's following her and crying.
Then said Abner unto him, go, return, and he returned.
I told you the Bible doesn't waste any time in telling these stories.
And Abner had communication with the elders of Israel saying you sought for David in time
past to be king over you, you know, and on and on.
Now then, do it.
Now, go if you went to Deuteronomy chapter 24.
We'll come back to 2 Samuel.
Go back to Deuteronomy 24.
What does the Bible say about this issue of Michal being taken away from her second husband
being returned to David as David's wife?
What does the Bible say about this?
You know, who's right here?
You know, don't you feel kind of bad for Faltiel who's crying and following his wife and now
his, I mean, he's upset, right?
Now here's the way this works and I'm just going to tell you and then I'm going to prove
it to you from the Bible.
Okay.
First of all, let me just tell you.
First of all, the Bible teaches that we should not get divorced.
When you get married, it's till death do us part, okay?
It's a lifelong commitment.
Divorce is not an option.
You should get rid of the word divorce out of your vocabulary when it comes to your marriage.
It should never be brought up.
It should never be threatened.
It should never even be an option.
It's just not an option.
You just, you don't get divorced.
You stay married.
It's literally do or die.
Okay.
That's what the Bible teaches.
But obviously in the world that we live in, people don't always follow the Bible, do they?
And so obviously a divorce abounds and we have a lot of divorce, especially in the United
States of America because of the bankruptcy of our culture and the bankruptcy of, of just
family values and morality and Christian virtues in general.
Obviously, you know, we live in a, in a sinful world.
Things happen.
Divorce abounds.
Okay.
So people are divorced.
That's life.
That's just the way the world works.
Okay.
So, you know, once people are divorced, okay, the vast majority of the time they're going
to end up getting married to someone else.
That's a lot of the reason why people get divorced is because they get divorced so that
they can marry someone else.
Otherwise they probably just be separated or something that, you know, obviously this
is the world we live in.
There's a lot of divorce.
There's a lot of remarriage after divorce and so forth.
Now in a, ideally when people are divorced, what you want to happen is if people are divorced,
you'd want them to reconcile and get back together and basically say, Hey, we shouldn't
have done that.
Let's fix our marriage and let's get back to where we were.
But here's the question though.
What if people get divorced and then one of them or both of them marries someone else?
You know, is there any hope or chance of reconciling that first marriage?
And the answer is no, no.
Now there are always these bozos who come along and try to tell everybody to divorce
their second spouse and go back to the original spouse.
That is not what the Bible teaches.
Two wrongs do not make a right.
It was wrong to get divorced the first time, but guess what?
It's wrong to divorce the second time and it's going to be wrong.
If you're on your fifth spouse, you know, Elizabeth Taylor, if you're on your seventh
spouse, you know, then it's wrong to divorce your seventh spouse.
Okay?
Because you're breaking that vow that you made, whoever you're married.
And I know that I'm sure that there are lots of people in our church that are divorced,
some of whom that are divorced and remarried.
Well, listen, if you're divorced and remarried, you know, you need to stay married to the
person that you're married to right now.
Instead of that past sin of getting divorced and say, God, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have
done that.
But here you are.
You've got to stay faithful to your current vows that you're in right now.
And you know, you can't get in a time machine and change the past.
So you just do things right from here on forward.
That's what God expects, right?
Because there is no sense beating yourself up for the rest of your life over the past.
You know, you just, you confess it as a sin to God.
You make, you know, you, you, you, you, you make things right with the Lord spiritually.
And then you just say, you know what, I'm going to be the best husband or the best wife
I can be.
And I'm going to stay married to, I'm married to right now.
Okay.
That's what the Bible teaches.
Okay.
Uh, and, and listen, getting divorced is a sin.
And the Bible says that if you divorce your wife and marry another, you're committing
adultery.
And that if you marry a divorced woman, you're committing adultery.
Okay.
And if you put away your wife, you're causing her to commit adultery because she's probably
going to marry another dude.
Okay.
So this is what the Bible says.
And let me just prove this to you from scripture, the point that's important for the sermon
this morning.
Cause I, you know, obviously I could do a whole sermon on marriage and divorce.
That's not what the sermon is about.
But look at Deuteronomy 24 verse one, when a man had taken a wife and married her and
it come to pass that she find no favor in his eyes because he had found some uncleanness
in her.
Then let him write her a bill of divorcement and give it in her hand and send her out of
his house.
And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife.
Now this is the same as basically the law in the United States.
If you're not divorced, you can't marry another man, can you?
If you and your husband are just separated, can you just marry another dude?
That's a crime.
It's a crime to be married to two people at the same time.
Amen.
Okay.
So once they're divorced, now she's legally able to marry another man after she's been
divorced.
Verse three, and if the latter husband hate her and write her a bill of divorcement and
give it in her hand and send her out of his house or if the latter husband die.
So you know, this woman's been divorced and then she marries another dude and then he
divorces her or he dies.
What does the Bible say?
Verse four, her former husband which sent her away may not take her again to be his
wife after that she is defiled for that is abomination before the Lord and thou shalt
not cause the land to sin, which the Lord thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.
Everybody see that?
Now look, I'm not here to attack divorced people or to rip on divorced people because
again we can't change what's happened in the past in our lives.
But I will say that, you know, my own parents are divorced and when my parents got divorced
I really wanted them to do what?
To reconcile, to get back together because I didn't want my parents to get divorced and
I wanted them to stay married and after they got divorced I wanted them to reconcile.
But here's the thing, once one of them got remarried I was done trying to get my parents
to reconcile because my parents can never be reconciled, okay?
Today is what?
February 5th, 2023.
My parents can never be reconciled because they're remarried to different people now.
Even if both of their spouses were to die and then they're like, hey, let's get back
together.
No, you can't.
Why not?
Because the Bible says what?
That that's an abomination, okay?
So once people are divorced and marry someone else, getting back together not only is it
not the right thing to do, it's also an abomination.
And by the way, a lot of people, you know, they get divorced and marry someone else and
then they're like, oh man, this is even worse.
That first spouse wasn't so bad.
Let's go back to that.
But guess what?
The Bible says no, okay?
So this is not an option.
And I mean, I don't see how this scripture could be any clearer.
Deuteronomy 24, it always blows my mind when bozos come along and try to teach the opposite
because Deuteronomy 24 is clear.
This is also reiterated in Jeremiah chapter three verse one.
You don't have to turn there, but it says, if a man put away his wife and she go from
him and become another man's, shall she return unto him again?
Shall not that land be greatly polluted?
And it's referring to what?
Deuteronomy 24.
It's a reference to what we just read.
Okay.
So the Bible's crystal clear on this.
So was it right for David to say, take my call away from her husband and give her back
to me?
She's mine.
No, she needs, she should have stayed with, you know, uh, file teal.
But of course, because of these political wranglings, she ends up getting ripped away
from her devoted, loving husband.
And here's the thing, obviously, again, let's analyze the story more.
Was foul teal right to marry her when she's David's wife?
No.
Even if they were divorced, he wouldn't be right to marry because the Bible says, whosoever
marrieth her that is divorced, commit at the adultery.
Okay.
But he didn't even divorce her.
You know, Saul just declared it divorced, I guess.
He just declared this marriage over and then gives her to this other guy.
So that's why I don't feel too bad for fall teal because he did marry another dude's wife.
But at the same time, once she's married to him, now she does have to stay with him according
to God's law.
So this whole thing is kind of a mess.
You know, it's, it's a really a messy, uh, family situation here.
But anyway, let's go back to second Samuel six.
I just wanted to show you that in the law of God and Deuteronomy so that we can see
where God stands on this issue.
Look at second Samuel chapter six.
And so you see, you say, why do we have these gnarly stories in the Bible where people are
doing all these crazy things?
Part of it is to help illustrate things like this where we can tell the, like I can get
up here as a preacher and I can tell you the story and then we can stop at points and
apply God's word to the story.
So the story is like a skeleton or an outline and then we can basically put God's law in
there and it's a way to teach God's law as well by looking at the story.
So let's look at second Samuel chapter six.
And again, we're fast forwarding into the future because in second Samuel chapter three,
Micah was taken away from her second husband and given back to David to be a third wheel,
you know, because he's already got a Hinnom and Abigail at this point, his wife.
So he, you know, he gets her back in chapter three and the Bible doesn't say anything about
how she feels about this or what's going on in her mind.
We just see the husband crying and weeping and following her.
It is what it is.
We don't really know where she's at on this whole story, but in chapter six, a little
bit of time goes by and the Ark of the Lord is being brought back up to the house of God
and David in verse 14 of chapter six, it says, and David danced before the Lord with all
his might.
So David is really emotional.
He's really excited.
Because remember this guy is very passionate in his love for God, even though he made mistakes
in life, even though he's not a perfect person, he really was passionate about loving God
and loving to serve God and the word of God.
And we know that from the book of Psalms.
So he's dancing before the Lord with all his mind.
I mean, he's, you know, you get pumped up about a sporting event or something, you know,
he's pretty pumped about worshiping the Lord and bringing the Ark of the covenant into
the house of God.
He's getting excited about the right things.
We all get excited in life about something, don't we?
Well, it'd be nice if it'd be something spiritual.
And so he's excited.
He's dancing before the Lord with all his might.
And David was girded with a linen ephod.
So David and all the house of Israel brought up the Ark of the Lord was shouting and with
the sound of the trumpet.
And as the Ark of the Lord came into the city of David, Michal, Saul's daughter, looked
through a window and saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord and she despised
him in her heart.
So she doesn't, you know, she loved him, she loved him, she loved him.
Now that she's back from being married to that other dude and all the bad things have
happened, all that water under the bridge, now she despises him in her heart.
So her attitude toward him has changed.
Okay.
And so then it says in verse number 20, then David returned to bless his household and
Michal, the daughter of Saul, came out to meet David.
And let me just stop right there, we're going to finish that in a moment.
But let me say this, out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh, okay?
So what went wrong in this marriage?
Well, first of all, Saul reneged on his promise to give him Mirab.
David should have never been married to Michal in the first place, he should have been married
to Mirab because that was the original promise.
Number two, although Michal loved David, there's no indication that David loved Michal.
In fact, his actions and these glaring omissions kind of seem to show the opposite, that he
didn't seem to care for her as a person.
Number three, you have the evil father-in-law, who is actually also a homicidal maniac.
Number four, you have David marrying two other wives.
That's a problem.
And then ultimately, number five, you have Michal despising David in her heart.
This is the fifth and final blow to the relationship where she's to the point now where she just
despises him in her heart.
And out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh.
If you despise your husband in your heart, you're going to say something that lets that
disgust come forth because out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh.
It's not enough to just go through the motions as a spouse.
Let's say you're a husband and you don't really love your wife, but you just kind of go through
the motions, she's going to get that vibe from you because especially women are good
at reading men and they'll figure that out.
So it's not enough to just go through the motions.
You have to actually love your wives' husbands.
You have to actually love your husbands' wives, right?
You have to actually love your spouse in your heart because out of the abundance of the
heart, the mouth speaketh.
Even if you're going through the motions on the outside, if you despise your husband in
your heart, you're going to say something.
It's going to come out and you're going to end up doing serious damage to your marriage.
And so here's where it comes blurting out in verse 20, then David returned to bless
his household.
So David comes home, he's in a good mood.
He's coming to bless his household.
He's got something nice to say to, um, Michal and others and Michal the daughter of Saul
came out to meet David and said, how glorious was the king of Israel today?
So this is a sarcasm of course.
How glorious was the king of Israel today who uncovered himself today in the eyes of
the handmaids of his servants as one of the vain fellows shamelessly uncover it himself.
Okay.
Now there's a lot that we can learn from this verse here.
First of all, we see her being sarcastic and scathing and her disgust and disdain and despite
is coming through in her words.
What she felt in her heart is now coming out as she is disrespectful and as she is just
lashing out at her husband.
But notice what she specifically says.
She's basically criticizing him for the dancing and leaping before the Lord and, and, and,
and whatever.
But, but notice what she says.
She says he uncovered himself shamelessly, you know, in the eyes of the handmaids of
his servants.
And so notice that her mind, she's not just thinking like, Hey, you didn't really behave
yourself appropriately as a king.
You let your hair down a little too much is what the accusation is on the surface, right?
You got too casual.
You let your hair down too much.
You got a little too wild out there just in front of the common man.
You're supposed to be the king of Israel.
You need to act like a king.
You need to have a little more dignity and poise and you're just out there just partying
with the ark of the Lord.
But notice that she says, you know, you did it in the eyes of the handmaids of his servants
as one of the vain fellow shamelessly uncovered themselves.
So she's accusing him of dancing and leaping, not because he loved the Lord, but because
he's trying to impress the ladies, you know, that he's trying to just be this cool guy
in front of the handmaids of the servants.
And this goes to what really bothers her is that she is jealous.
Now you can see where she's coming from.
She kind of has every reason to be jealous since he's married to two other women.
And here's the thing.
You know, sometimes when your spouse gets mad at you or tells you off or tells you what's
on their mind, they're not always going to tell you that they're mad for the real reason
that they're mad.
The real reason that she's mad is because he's married to two other women.
Okay, that's the real reason that she's mad.
But then this is an excuse of like, well, you know, you're out there dancing around
like a wild man out there.
But is it really the dancing around that's bothering her?
The fact that she brings up the fact, oh, you're doing it in front of these handmaids
is a thing of, hey, I want you to love me.
You know, I don't want you to be married to other women and I'm, what am I here, right?
I'm your actual original wife.
And so, you know, if you're, you say, oh, let me put it this way.
Let's say your husband's mad and he just starts yelling about how, you know, dirty the house
is or something.
You know, maybe the house is dirty, but you know what?
Maybe it's not that the house is dirty at all.
Maybe he's just mad at you about something else.
You know, because I'll put it this way, you know, when I'm driving down the road and let's
say somebody cuts me off or does something that I don't like and I'm driving down the
road.
I'm just kind of like, whatever.
But have you noticed that some people when they get cut off, they're just like, you know,
and then they're telling you you're number one and they're giving you all kinds of sign
language and yelling and freaking out.
Have you noticed that some people are just kind of like, whatever, and then other people
are blowing up and exploding?
Now look, it's impossible to go from being a happy, cheerful, well-adjusted person to
screaming obscenities in one second.
Now here's the thing.
Some days I'm in a really bad mood and then somebody cuts me off and then, you know, I'm
not screaming obscenities, but I'm just like, you know, then I do blow up.
Then I'm mad.
I'm, ah, you know.
So basically I can either, some days, most days I'm usually in a really good mood and
everything's fine.
If somebody cuts me off, it's just like, oh, that was stupid.
That guy's a jerk.
Whatever.
Like, look, if you're out soloing, I've knocked on somebody's door out soloing and just had
them just start screaming and cussing at me.
I promise you that person was already mad about something else.
Promise you.
That person's a miserable person or at least they're miserable that day.
Same thing with people that are having road raids, like they're already mad because you
can't go from just, you're not just like, zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-day, my oh my,
die!
You know, it doesn't, that's not the way people work.
That's not the way our brains work.
That's not the way human beings work.
You know, and then you're just, it's, it, there's something else going on.
So you know, if your husband's mad at you all the time, you should figure out why he's
actually mad at you, because it might not be the dinner or the cleaning or, you know,
you might want to figure out what the real problem is.
Or conversely, if your wife's always upset, the things that she complains about, she might
just be picking you apart.
You say, my wife's always picking me apart and finding fault with the stupidest little
things.
It's because she's not really mad about those, it's not really about the toothpaste tube.
Nobody's really that mad about where you squeeze the toothpaste tube, okay?
Nobody's really that mad about which way you install the toilet paper.
Although obviously the right way is for it to be coming over the top, over the front.
Amen?
But nobody's that mad.
Nobody cares.
You know, if everything's right in the world and everything's right in your marriage and
your wife installs it the wrong way where it's coming over the back, who cares?
You just flip it around.
It's not a big deal.
Yet we have these cliches about, oh, they got divorced over the toothpaste tube or the
toilet paper.
They had a big fight over it.
It's because there's obviously something else going on, isn't there?
So look, if Michal and David, let's say David had not married these other women.
Let's say he'd actually retrieved her and kept her with him and been faithful to her.
And look, she could have handled it out.
This is a rugged woman.
She could have handled it in the wilderness with David.
This is the woman who's big and strong enough to lower him down the window with a cord.
This is the woman, I mean, who's resourceful enough to save his life.
She's not somebody who couldn't have handled being on the lam and being on the run with
David.
If he would have stayed with her and they would have been happily married and he got
a little crazy dancing around in front of the ark, it wouldn't have been a big deal.
She probably wouldn't have even cared.
And if she did care, she would have been like, honey, you know, maybe you should tone
that down a little, you know.
But instead she chews him out and falsely accuses him because she just hates him at
this point.
You know, that's what's really going on.
David answers in verse 21 and David said unto Michal, it was before the Lord.
He's saying it wasn't for the ladies, it was before the Lord, which is true.
Which shows me before thy father.
Which again, notice that David always sees her as Saul's daughter, okay, first and foremost.
And before all is asked to appoint me ruler over the people of the Lord over Israel, therefore
will I play before the Lord.
Which that's, that's a good answer.
Like verse 21 all makes sense, except it does show us how he sees her only as Saul's daughter.
And then verse 22 it says, and I'll be yet more vile than thus.
I mean, now David is just so mad he's just saying stupid things now.
Why would you be like, I'm going to get even more vile?
He wasn't even vile in the first place.
But when people get angry and they're fighting with their spouse, guess what?
They say things they don't mean.
That's why you don't want to let things escalate to this point where people are just yelling
and saying all kinds of crazy things.
And I will yet be more vile than thus.
I'll be base in my own sight.
In fact, I'm going to be so ignoble that even I'll be offended.
I'm going to, what does that even mean?
I'll show you, I'll do stuff that's so offensive even I'll be offended.
And of the maidservants, which I wasn't even thinking about those maidservants, but I am
now.
And of the maidservants, which I was spoken of of them, shall I be had an honor.
You know, at least they treat me with respect, unlike you.
And then this is the last mention we have.
Therefore Michael, the daughter of Saul had no child under the day of her death.
Now some people have said, Oh, you know, now she's barren or something.
That's absurd.
God's not punishing her with barren.
That's not what the Bible says.
She had no child until the day of her death because David didn't touch her with a 10 foot
pole after this because he has other wives.
And after this blow up, he's just done with her.
That's what it's saying.
What does therefore mean?
Therefore means because of this, because of this fight, she has no child under the day
of her death.
Okay.
Because basically he's not impregnating her because he's done with her.
Okay.
So it's a really sad story, isn't it?
I mean, start to finish is a tragic story about Michael.
And you say, well, you know, why preach such a gnarly story?
What are we supposed to learn from this?
You know, why talk about this on a Sunday morning?
Well, we can learn from a negative example like this, what not to do wrong because, uh,
we saw what led up to this, the reneging on the promise, the fact that they don't love
each other only.
It's only one sided, even though she loves him, he doesn't love her back.
And so it doesn't work out.
You've got the evil in-laws.
We talked about that application.
You don't want to interfere in your children's marriages.
You don't want to ever criticize your child's spouse and so forth.
And then obviously David marrying two other wives is wrong because the Bible teaches that
we're only supposed to have one wife, a man leaves his father and mother and cleaves them
to his wife singular and they too shall be one flesh.
But let me give you one last moral to the story here about Michael because all these
bad things happened and most of it wasn't her fault, was it?
I mean, is it her fault that David doesn't love her back?
That's not really her fault.
I mean, she was bringing a lot of energy into this marriage and it's not being reciprocated.
That's not her fault.
Is it her fault that her psycho dad is trying to kill David and then David doesn't even
really care enough to retrieve her or come back for her.
So then she ends up being given to some other dude and she was apparently making him pretty
happy.
So she seems like she must've been being a pretty good wife if he's crying and begging
that she could stay with him.
He was apparently happy.
You know, all these things happened to Michael and it's not her fault.
You know, from what we can tell from the story that all these bad things have happened.
But then in the end though, she ends up shooting herself in the foot by despising her husband
in her heart, lashing out verbally, and she's the one who ends up what?
Being by herself, being childless, and you know, not living a happy life.
So here's the final piece of advice that I have for you from this story.
If you're in a rough marriage or if you've had a rough life that has led you up to the
point where you are, make the best of your current situation and don't give up on it.
Make the best of your current situation.
You know, you say, well, I don't know if my husband loves me.
Well, you know what?
You need to make the best of your current situation.
That's your husband.
You're married.
And you know what?
The Bible says that wives are supposed to love their husbands.
Whether that love is reciprocated or not, love your husband.
And you know, you husbands, you say, well, my wife doesn't love me.
You love your wife.
Whether that love is reciprocated or not, love your wife.
You do right by the Lord and God's going to bless you.
If other people around you are doing wrong and they're sinning and you know what?
You still remain faithful.
You've got to learn in life to make the best of your current situation because you know
what?
Life is sometimes just going to chew you up and spit you out, unfortunately.
And that's what happened in the case of Michael in many ways.
But yet the mistake she made in the end was she failed to make the best of her current
situation.
If you're on your third spouse, make the best of your current situation.
If you're married to an unbeliever, make the best of your current situation.
You're married to someone who doesn't treat you well, that doesn't love you.
Make the best of that situation.
Look, wives submit under your husbands, whether they love you or not.
Husbands love your wives, whether they submit under you or not.
You've got to keep the commandments of God.
You be right with God.
Make the best of it.
Don't just say, well, nuts to it.
You know, and just pull up Michael, despising your husband, despising your wife, lashing
out and just throwing it all away, throwing it all in the trash.
And you say, oh, well, you know, it's so much better to just get divorced than to be in
a loveless marriage.
You know, can you show me that in the Bible?
Did that come from the word of God, that philosophy?
Well, I just think it'd be better for the children if we get divorced and they don't
have to hear us fighting all the time.
What Bible verse is that?
You know, if you want to talk about the world's wisdom, well, we're in church on a Sunday
morning.
We don't care about the wisdom of this world because the Bible says the wisdom of this
world is foolishness with God.
You know, we deal in biblical truth around here and so all we care about is what the
Bible says.
The Bible says, let not the wife depart from her husband.
Let not the husband put away his wife.
That's what the Bible says.
It doesn't say, well, but if it's a real pain, just get a divorce because, you know, it's
better for everybody.
Nope.
That's worldly wisdom, worldly logic.
The Bible teaches you make the best of your current situation.
You, whoever you're married to, you love them, you do what you can and you know what?
If they don't do their part, if they don't reciprocate, that's on them.
God will deal with them, but you've got to do your part no matter what.
Because otherwise, you know, uh, the husband could just be like, well, I'm not going to
love my wife cause she doesn't submit to me.
And then the wife's like, well, I'm not going to submit cause he doesn't love me.
And then it's just this vicious cycle.
You know, somebody's got it and you say, well, I loved her for 10 years and she never submitted
or I submitted for 10 years and he didn't love me or you know, it's one sided or whatever.
But you know what?
God has a way of repaying you when you do what's right and the people around you do
wrong.
God has a way of making sure that you get blessed, you know?
But my cow, she was, she did so good there in the beginning, but in the end she blew
it.
And that's why her story is a complete tragedy because it ends in tragedy.
It was a tragedy all along, you know, but it didn't have a happy ending because she
didn't make the best of her current situation.
She gave up hope and she just hated her husband in her heart.
And so I hope that you could get some good principles this morning from how to read these
historical books in the Bible that contain a lot of morally questionable decisions by
the characters and also that you could get some advice about your own marriage or maybe
you're single and you're thinking about getting married.
You know, make sure that you think about what the Bible teaches about marriage, not just
the wisdom of this world.
Let's bow your heads and have a word of prayer.
Father, we thank you so much for this story, Lord, and I pray that those that are here
have learned something useful for their marriage and for their lives and in Jesus name we pray
amen.