Proverbs 29, let's start in verse number 15.
The Bible reads, The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself bringeth
his mother to shame.
When the wicked are multiplied, transgression increaseth, but the righteous shall see their
fall.
Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest, yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.
The title of my sermon this morning is The Rod and Reproof Give Wisdom.
The Rod and Reproof Give Wisdom.
I have three points this morning.
Point number one is that we must not spare the rod.
Point number two is that we must love and spend time with our children.
And point number three is that we must let them live their own lives.
And as I go through a lot of scriptures this morning, I'm going to keep coming back to
those points over and over again.
I'm not just going to talk about only point one and then two and then three.
We're going to keep revisiting these three important truths throughout the sermon.
Number one, we must not spare the rod.
I'm talking about spanking your children.
Corporal punishment, physically disciplining them.
You cannot be a biblical parent.
You cannot obey God in regard to rearing your children without spanking your children.
Anyone who teaches you that there's some way to be a Christian parent and some way
to raise your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord that does not include
spanking is someone who is just blatantly disregarding God's word.
It's that simple.
Look what the Bible says back in Proverbs chapter 10.
We're going to flip around a few different places in Proverbs.
Proverbs chapter 10, while you're turning there, I'll read for you Proverbs 22, 15.
Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive it far
from him.
Proverbs 10, 13, in the lips of him that hath understanding, wisdom is found.
But a rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding.
So the Bible tells us foolishness is bound in the heart of a child.
It doesn't say it might be there.
It's just there.
Why?
Because when a child has not yet learned wisdom and understanding, they start out foolish.
That's why when someone is an adult doing dumb things, we say they're childish.
Because foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction will
drive it far from him.
The rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding.
Look at Proverbs 13, verse 24.
The Bible says, he that spareth his rod, hateth his son.
But he that loveth him, chasteneth him betimes.
The word betimes simply means early.
And so the Bible says that if you spare the rod, you hate your son.
So don't let anybody tell you, oh, I just love my children too much to spank them.
No, you don't love them enough to spank them.
The Bible says that if you spare the rod, you hate your son.
But if you love him, you'll chasten him betimes.
The Bible says whom the Lord loveth, he chasteneth, and scourges every son whom he receiveth.
The Bible says that every son receives chastisement.
What son is he whom the father chasteneth not, the Bible says.
If you be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are you bastards and not
sons, the Bible says.
So every child is to be disciplined, chastened, corrected, chastised by their parents with
the rod of correction.
Go to Proverbs 23, Proverbs chapter 23 verse 13.
The Bible says withhold not correction from the child.
Now the word withhold means that you're keeping back something beneficial.
And it says withhold not correction from the child, for if thou beatest him with the rod,
he shall not die.
Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shall deliver his soul from hell.
Now many people will try to twist scripture instead of accepting what the scripture says.
So they'll quote other verses about the rod and they'll say, well, the rod, that's not
physical discipline.
That's just symbolic of like a rod with a hook on the end where you kind of grab the
sheep and pull it where it needs to go and this and that.
But they seem to avoid this particular verse where it says thou shalt beat him with the
rod.
I mean, it's not possible to misunderstand this verse.
If you want to twist the other verse, I think all the other verses are pretty clear anyway.
When it says the rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding, you know, I
don't see how people can misunderstand that.
But this verse is impossible to misunderstand when it says, if thou beatest him with the
rod, he shall not die.
Thou shalt beat him with the rod and shall deliver his soul from hell.
You say, that's child abuse.
No, it's child abuse not to discipline your kids because then you're withholding something
from them that they need and you're setting them on a path that leads to death.
Because if you beat him with the rod, he shall not die.
Thou shalt beat him with the rod and shall deliver his soul from hell.
What does that mean?
That means that if you're not beating him with the rod, you're setting him up on a path
that eventually leads to death and hell.
That's abuse.
It's foolish.
Foolishness is in the heart of the parent that thinks that they can raise godly children
without following God's program for discipline.
So the Bible is crystal clear that corporal punishment is the way to train your children.
Physically disciplining them, spanking them.
Let me just say a few things about this.
When the Bible says, thou shalt beat him with the rod, this is not just some loving little
pat or tap that does not make any kind of impact.
But on the other side of that, some people could take this too far and be abusive to
their children and actually injure their children.
The goal of spanking your child is not to injure them or to harm them.
It's to discipline them.
It's that they would feel the pain of that spanking and realize that what they've done
is wrong and that they won't want to go out and break all the rules for fear of that spanking.
And you say, oh, you're ruling by fear.
You got it right.
And you know what?
The Bible says, fear the Lord and keep his commandments.
And the Bible says in Leviticus 19 that every man should fear his father and mother.
We should reverence our father and mother.
The Bible says, furthermore, we have had fathers of our flesh, which corrected us.
We had fathers of our flesh, which corrected us and we gave them reverence.
Why did I give my dad reverence?
Because he corrected me.
My dad disciplined me and I loved my dad, but I had a healthy fear of my dad also.
And we ought to have both love and respect for our parents.
We ought to have fear of our father and mother, meaning that we don't just have this boldness
to just think we can just do whatever we want and have no consequence.
That would be no fear, right?
I just do whatever and I have no consequence.
You know, that's not how I feel about the Lord.
I fear the Lord.
I fear God, fear the Lord and his goodness.
The Bible tells us, you know, when he is angry with us, when he is displeased with us, when
we have disobeyed him, we're going to go through chastisement and chastening.
And so we ought to fear that.
That ought to help motivate us to do the right thing because we don't want God's chastisement
in our lives.
But we don't want to go too far to where we're injuring the child or harming them.
We just want to chastise them, punish them for their own good.
It's for their benefit so that they can be raised right.
Now, how many of you got spanked when you were a kid and put up your hair?
Yeah, it's pretty much every single person.
But there's a new generation that's rising up now that's raising their children without
this.
And it's going to be a generation from hell that has no fear of the Lord, no fear of God.
And you want to know where all this crazy stuff is coming from that our young people
are involved in.
It's a generation without discipline at all.
Now let's get the other side of that.
We said, number one, we must spare the rod.
Number two, we must love and spend time with our children.
It's not enough just to spank your children when they do wrong.
You don't want that to be the only interaction that you have with your kids is you're just
this judge, jury, and executioner all the time.
You want to have other positive interactions with your children as well.
Just disciplining them is not enough when you're parenting.
Go if you would to Ephesians chapter 6.
Let me say this, when you spank your children, you want to make sure that you're inflicting
pain but you want to make sure that you're not injuring them.
Now what do I mean by injuring them?
Some people will spank their kid, for example, through a thick pair of pants or they'll spank
a toddler through a big diaper.
And it's like there's so much padding there that they basically have to hit the kid so
hard to even make any kind of an impact that it could be jarring.
It's like a bludgeoning.
That's not an effective way to discipline your children.
You want to get that sting of the swat without throwing their spine out of alignment or something
or just bludgeoning them or just hitting them with a truncheon or something.
That's not the right way to discipline your children.
You shouldn't spank your kids through some thick padded layer.
What's a great tool to spank your children?
I think a great tool to spank your children is like some kind of a wooden ruler or a wooden
paint stir stick.
Now they're starting to charge for them.
I think they saw me coming in and taking handfuls of those free wooden stir sticks at Home Depot
and Lowe's.
Now they're starting to charge for them.
That's one of the best kind of rods of correction you could use is basically just a wooden,
it's like a ruler but it's a little more durable.
It's that shape, a thin wooden.
That's going to provide punishment but it's not going to be like a bludgeon or a truncheon
or injure them.
It's going to provide a negative consequence but you're not going to harm them or injure
them or do them any wrong.
So I think that that's a great tool.
Now there are other things people use.
People spank their kids with a belt and some people say, hey, that's not biblical but the
Bible says, whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth and scourges every son whom he receiveth.
So you know, that's not a rod or whatever.
I don't think using your hand is necessarily the most effective tool either because your
hand can sometimes be more like a bludgeon or a truncheon sometimes, you know, depending
on how you do it.
But I think that some kind of a paddle is the best way to do it.
You know, that's just a little practical tip and then again, that's just my opinion.
That's just my view.
The Bible just tells us that we need to physically discipline our children.
We need to use the rod of correction.
Basically how you do that, you know, God doesn't give us a diagram of the implement
and explain to us exactly.
So I'm just giving you my experience and I'm pretty experienced because I have 10 children.
So I've been through this many times with my children and we have found, you know, a
wooden paddle like a paint stir stick to be the most safe and effective way to provide
discipline without injuring the child, right?
Because that's our goal.
We love our children.
We don't want to hurt them in the sense of harming or injuring them.
But we do want them to have their bottom lit up so that they'll know that they need to
stop that activity, right?
But that's not enough.
We also want to make sure that we love and nurture our children.
The Bible says in Ephesians 6 verse 1, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is
right.
Honor thy father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise that it may
be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth, and ye fathers, provoke not
your children to wrath.
What does that mean?
Well, the same exact phrase is over in Colossians, except instead of wrath, it substitutes the
word anger.
Why?
Anger and wrath are synonyms.
Wrath is just a more extreme form of anger.
But in Colossians, it says not to provoke your children to anger.
Here it says don't provoke them unto wrath.
What does it mean to provoke someone?
Well, the Bible says elsewhere that we should provoke one another to love and good works,
right?
Provoke comes from pro meaning forth or forward and voc meaning to call, right?
So if we provoke someone to good works, we're calling them forth unto good works, right?
So provoking someone is when we instigate them to do something.
So if I provoke someone to love and good works, it means that I do or say something
that gets them to do love and good works.
I instigate them toward love and good works, right?
So if I provoke them unto anger or provoke them unto wrath, it means that I say or do
something that makes them angry or makes them have wrath.
I don't want to have my children angry at me and burning in wrath toward me.
Now if a child is angry at his or her parent, that doesn't necessarily mean it's the parent's
fault.
That doesn't mean that the parent provoked it.
The anger could be coming from somewhere else, but the Bible says, hey, don't provoke it.
Don't be a parent that says and does things that just makes your kids angry at you or
hateful toward you or wrathful toward you.
The Bible says, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the
nurture and admonition of the Lord.
What's he saying there?
He's saying, don't treat your kids like dirt because if you do, what are they going to
have toward you?
Anger and wrath and you're the one who provoked that anger and wrath by the way that you acted.
Bring them up in the nurture and at what's nurture mean?
You know, nurture has to do with caring about them, feeding them, taking care of them, loving
them.
Bring them up in the nurture and admonition.
Admonition is when we're basically telling them what they need to be doing and teaching
them what to do.
Preaching is admonition.
I'm admonishing the church right now.
And so the Bible is saying here to bring up the children in the nurture and admonition
of the Lord.
Don't provoke them to anger, okay?
So discipline is not everything.
We also need nurture.
So an illustration of this could be the military.
The military provides discipline.
Now they don't provide corporal punishment.
They don't provide spanking or beatings as far as I know.
But they do provide discipline, don't they?
They do chasten.
They do chastise in their own ways.
But let me ask you this.
Do the people in the military who are disciplined by that drill sergeant or drill instructor,
do they love him or do they have anger toward him and wrath toward him?
He's provoking them under anger in many cases.
He's provoking them under wrath.
Why?
Because they say all kinds of perverted things.
They do wicked things.
They do abusive things.
And they treat the soldiers like dirt.
And that's how they get them to be disciplined or to comply.
But there's no love there.
There's no nurture there.
There's no admonition of the Lord there.
So that's not how we want to parent.
We don't want to have a militarized home life.
Some people attempt to do that.
And they think that that's some kind of a model for obedience.
And I've never been in the military.
And you know what?
I'm glad I've never been in the military.
There I said it.
And I get tired of being around military people who think that they're better than everybody
else because they were in the military.
You know what?
I'd rather be in the Lord's army than in the United States army.
And I'm not against you if you've been in the military.
God bless you.
And I'm not negative toward you at all.
But guess what?
You're not better than me.
We're equal.
But I've known some people, especially coming out of the Marine Corps, where they have this
attitude that Marines are awesome and everybody else is a loser.
Like they're on some higher plane.
And frankly, it just isn't true.
You could be every bit as manly or every bit as disciplined or have just as much character
not being in the military.
You could be just as tough or whatever.
So you know, don't get this attitude.
And who here is ex-military?
Put up your hand if you're ex-military.
Lots of people.
You know, don't get this attitude of, you know, I'm awesome.
You're a loser.
I can talk about politics.
You can't.
I can have an opinion about our country.
You can't.
That isn't right.
Don't get high-minded or puffed up or prideful, right?
Why?
Because none of us, neither you nor I, should think of ourselves more highly than we ought
to think.
We ought to be sober-minded and just realize, you know what?
None of us is the he-man that we think we are and just everybody else is such a weakling
and we're just so awk- you know.
Get off that garbage, okay?
So I'm not against people from the military, but just make sure you don't put on that attitude
around me that I'm somehow second-class because I didn't serve.
You know, I'd rather serve the Lord of hosts any day of the week than in any of the branches
of the military.
And if you haven't gone into the military yet, I don't recommend it because of the fact
that our military is now bringing in the sodomites and trannies and doing sensitivity training.
And you know, thankfully most of you guys that were in the military were in before that
stuff took place.
But these, you know, this isn't your father's Marine Corps anymore.
So you know, we don't want to be that type of a parent that's a drill sergeant, a drill
instructor that can make them obey.
But you know what?
I love my children.
I don't want to just make them obey.
I want to be their father.
And that's different than a drill instructor.
He is not a father unto you.
And again, I'm not speaking from experience because I've never been there.
But I think that most people who've been in the military would probably agree that they're
not exchanging Christmas cards with their drill sergeant and he's not a father figure
to them.
They might just have a nightmare about him every once in a while.
But anyway, so the Bible tells us here, fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring
them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Children, obey your parents.
And you children need to understand something.
Every kid in this room, look up at me right now.
Every child, listen to me.
If you disobey your parents, you're disobeying God.
God said to obey your parents.
You need to obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.
And you need to honor your father.
Don't you be disrespectful to your parents to mouth off to them, talk back to them, look
down on them.
You be kind to them.
You obey them.
You be helpful.
You love them.
And everything that you do unto your parents do it as unto the Lord because he's the one
who put those parents in your life.
So the Bible tells us back in Proverbs 29, if you would turn there, Proverbs 29 tells
us the rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself bringeth his mother
to shame.
Why does he bring the mother to shame?
Because the mother is the primary caregiver, right?
Dad has other things that are higher on his agenda each day.
He has to go out and work and do things.
He's not a full-time parent, right?
He has to go out and work and that's the first thing he has to get done each day.
He's got to go out and work and earn a living, right?
And mom is left at home to care for the children and then he comes home and then he participates
in the family life, but he's not there for a lot of the day, right?
He's gone for eight plus hours a day working.
So that makes the mom the primary caregiver.
So the child who's left to himself, you know, that's primarily mom's fault, right?
Because she was the primary caregiver, so the child who's just left to himself brings
shame upon the mother that's not doing what she's supposed to do, right?
The delinquent mother.
So when the Bible says here the rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself bringeth
his mother to shame, it's not just the lack of the rod that's the problem.
It's also children just being left to themselves that's the problem.
You know, mothers can get tied up with other things and neglect their children, whether
that's the soap operas of yesteryear or whether it's today's Facebook, video games, whatever,
just things online that could keep them busy where they're just like, get away from me,
son, you bother me, you bother me, you know, leave me alone.
And they just kind of do their own thing or maybe they just hang on the phone all day
or just fool around with whatever all day.
You need to realize, ladies, that your job is to be a parent and you need to do that
job and not look at your children as this little annoyance that's stopping you from
your at home business or that's stopping you from your latest soap opera or Facebook argument
or whatever.
You know, you need to understand that those are the things that need to go on the back
burner and the children ought to be on the front burner, right?
The children need to be your primary responsibility each day.
Love them, spend time with them, teach them, train them.
And if you're a homeschooler, don't be an unschooler.
Unschooling is when people say they're homeschooling, but what they really do is just have their
kids at home and they're just not learning anything.
They're neither going to school nor being homeschooled.
They're just left to themselves.
That's a child that's going to bring its mother to shame, according to the Bible.
So the rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself bringeth his mother
to shame.
Why?
Number one, we must not spare the rod and number two, we must love and spend time with
our children.
When the wicked are multiplied, transgression increases, but the righteous shall see their
fall.
Verse 17, correct thy son and he shall give thee rest, yea he shall give delight unto
thy soul.
Jump down to verse 21.
He that delicately bringeth up his servant from a child shall have him become his son
at the length.
An angry man stirreth up strife and a furious man aboundeth in transgression.
See, a person who has a character of anger and fury is going to be a person who commits
a lot of sin.
Isn't that what the Bible says?
The Bible says that a furious man abounds in transgression.
Now what's funny is that I sometimes get a reputation for being an angry man or a furious
man, but this reputation comes from only people who don't know me.
Why?
Because they hear me get up behind the pulpit and breathe fire.
That's called preaching.
And sometimes I'm in such a good mood on Sunday mornings, I have to really work myself up
into a fury to preach hard like I need to preach.
Why?
Because I understand that hard preaching works.
I understand that we need to cry aloud and spare not and lift up our voice like a trumpet.
That's something I have to work at.
That's not something that comes naturally to me.
Anybody who actually knows me outside the pulpit, for example, people who hung around
with me for the last three days in Detroit at the soul winning conference, you know,
they didn't see me walking around, I was just happy, smiling.
Anger is an emotion that I haven't felt in several days.
Look, I'm telling you, as far as me getting angry outside of the pulpit, it probably happens
once a month.
Sometimes I can go a couple months without getting angry outside the pulpit.
Now, in the pulpit doesn't count.
This is like a little designated anger zone.
Why?
Because when I'm behind the pulpit, this isn't me getting angry because somebody cut me off
in traffic.
This isn't me angry because somebody said something bad about me or somebody attacked
me or criticized me.
This isn't me angry because somebody spilled milk all over me or something.
This is a righteous anger here where this is the anger against sin zone, the anger against
the devil zone, the anger against false religion zone, the anger against wickedness zone.
But you know what?
If you're a person who's angry on Monday, angry on Tuesday, angry on Wednesday, that's
a sin in your life that you need to take care of.
We don't want to be an angry person.
Now it's okay to have anger, and people sometimes they have a false doctrine that says anger
is wrong.
Well, then Jesus was wrong because Jesus had anger.
There were times when Jesus looked on them with anger, when Jesus preached in anger.
It uses those words about Christ.
The Bible says be angry and sin not.
Well, if anger were a sin, how can you be angry and sin not?
That would be a non sequitur, wouldn't it?
So the point is that we as Christians need to understand that we shouldn't be angry people.
There's a time and a place for anger, but we shouldn't go through life angry.
We should go through life with the joy of the Lord as our strength, okay?
And I don't think that's that complicated, but it's funny how people just don't get that.
They either have this all or nothing.
They're either just, yeah, anger, and they're just angry all the time, mad, you know, or
it's like they just think all anger is wrong.
You know, we need to understand the balance here that we're not angry people.
We're not furious people, but there are certain things that we ought to get mad about, you
know, that the Lord gets mad about.
So we don't want to be an angry man or a furious man, and you say, what does this have to do
with raising children?
Because this is a sin that a lot of parents have where they're just angry with their children
every day.
You know that's true.
Parents and fathers who are just angry and yelling at their children every day, they're
just constantly mad, constantly yelling, you know, that's not the right kind of parenting.
Now I don't think it's wrong occasionally to blow your top and put your children in
their place when they really are out of line.
You know, you've got to reserve that though for serious transgressions, not just be an
angry person, just a furious person where you're just always mad at your kids.
What was wrong with that picture?
Now are there times when it could be appropriate?
Yeah, there's a time for anger, but it's not all the time.
But I know that there are a lot of parents where this is just who they are.
And you know what?
That's going to make your kids provoked to anger themselves.
You're provoking your kids to anger.
You're provoking them to run.
And you know what they're going to want to do?
The second they turn 18, they're just going to want to get as far away from you as they
can because you're so angry and they just want to get away from all that negative feeling
and anger.
So we want to make sure that we don't just be furious all the time.
Now part of this is from people not spanking.
See people who spank their kids, they have a way to resolve the problem, fix the problem,
and then they can move on and be smiling a minute later and everybody's happy and there's
nothing hanging over anybody's head.
Often the parents who are getting the angriest at their kids are the ones who don't spank.
Why?
Because their kids are so out of line and out of control that they just get mad.
And I could see why they'd get mad.
I mean if my kids were just walking all over me and spitting in my face, I'd be pretty
mad too.
But that's why you've got to correct them and fix those things.
The Bible says if we correct our son, he'll give us rest.
But look what it says in verse 21, he that delicately bringeth up his servant from a
child shall have him become his son at the length.
There's something to be said for a delicate discipline.
The Bible says of the Lord, thy gentleness hath made me great.
So we need to balance the idea of physically disciplining our children but also being kind
to them, delicate, gentle, loving them, nurturing them.
We need both of these aspects.
In a word, you cannot simply beat your children into submission.
And this is where a lot of people have missed the boat.
They think that spanking is a tool where you just beat them into submission and that is
not what spanking is.
That's not how it works.
Now let me just give you an example.
There's this book that's a very famous book, supposedly it sold like 2 million copies.
And it's a book about spanking your kids.
It's for spanking your kids but it's a very bad book.
It's called To Train Up a Child by Michael Pearl.
Now this guy Michael Pearl, he looks like a homeless person but he's this guy who specializes
in teaching on the family and marriage and child rearing.
Now the guy's a false prophet.
He preaches lies, he preaches false doctrine.
Just to give you one example, he teaches and this ties in with his parenting by the way,
he teaches that Romans 7 is not about the struggle that Christians face with sin, how
we struggle between the old man and the new man, the flesh and the spirit.
He tries to twist that scripture and say, oh that's about an unsaved person.
Now I don't have time to preach on that but you know, you should listen to my sermon.
If you haven't heard my sermon called Turning Romans 7 on its Head, that's one of the most
important sermons that I've probably ever preached.
So listen to that sermon on, it's called Turning Romans 7 on its Head if you have a chance
to download and listen to that.
But if you actually would just, okay forget my sermon, just open Romans 7 and just read
Romans 7.
It's not about an unsaved person.
Unsaved people don't thank Christ Jesus their Lord.
I mean it's bizarre that they say, oh that's before he was saved.
Oh so he delighted in the law of God after the inward man before he was saved?
You didn't have an inward man before you were saved.
You don't delight in God's law when you're not saved.
You don't thank Christ Jesus your Lord.
It's dumb, it's retarded, it's ridiculous and let me tell you something, anybody who
wants to twist scripture that bad has got a real wicked agenda and here's what that
agenda is, they're teaching a salvation that says that it's not by grace through faith
and it's not our righteousness.
They're teaching that you have to be righteous and if you're not, you're not saved.
So they twist that, they turn it on its head and Michael Pearl basically teaches sinless
perfection.
Now he kind of talks out of both sides of his mouth on this but if you look at his study
on Romans 7, he's teaching sinless perfection, that we don't have a sin nature.
You know we're the new man.
I mean we're just spiritual now.
So sinless perfection is a foolish doctrine.
The Bible says if we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not
in us.
We all struggle with sin.
Look let me just admit to you right now, I struggle with sin.
I have to deny self every day.
Every single day I have to deny self and take up the cross and follow Christ.
And guess what?
Sometimes I sin.
Guess what?
We all sin.
Guess what?
The thought of foolishness is sin and you know what?
I believe that we probably all sin every day and I'm not going to get up here and say that
I'm without sin.
I as Peter can say I'm a sinful man.
You know I am not a person who has repented of all my sins and I'm just living a sinless
life now.
No you know obviously I'm not saying that we should just say oh you know well we're
all sinners so let's just go out and do whatever because obviously some sins are bigger than
others of course and so I'm not saying that we all do these huge sins but we all have
little sins that we do don't we?
Because we're all human, we're not perfect and it's only by the grace of God that we're
even allowed to serve him right because he loves us and extends grace and mercy to us.
This is a dangerous doctrine, this sinless perfection doctrine, this twisting of Romans
7.
Like I said you don't even need to listen to my sermon if you're saved, if you read
Romans 7 you'll get it right away.
Only an unsaved person would twist it to try to promote their thinly veiled work salvation
that they're trying to push and again if you want to hear that sermon it's online turning
Romans 7 on its head but this guy Michael Pearl he wrote this horrible book called To
Train Up a Child and in this book he uses the illustration of training dogs and here's
what he says well if you can get a dog to just obey all the time 100% of the time 100%
obedience of course you can do the same thing with a child because humans are more advanced
than dogs.
That's what he said.
But here's what's so stupid about that is that human beings aren't dogs.
Dogs have instinct that's different than the human instinct.
You see humans and animals when we're born we already know what to do don't we?
We already know to cry when we need something, we already know how to suck on that breast,
nobody has to teach us that.
It's instinct, it's certain things that are just characteristic of us.
Well dogs are the same way they have certain instincts and dogs are programmed to obey.
They are programmed to just unquestioningly obey and be loyal and they just have a certain
programming that's for them and what's so stupid about this is that he's teaching in
his book oh if you parent right if you spank your kids right if you're consistent all the
time with discipline you will have your kids obey 100% of the time and that is garbage
and my answer to that would be oh if that's really true then why do God's children not
obey 100% of the time?
Oh wait a minute he thinks they do because he believes in that stupid sinless perfection
doctrine that oh if you're saved you're just going to do all the right things that is garbage.
That is nonsense.
Listen you cannot get your children to obey you 100% of the time.
That would be like you've just eradicated the sin nature.
Do you obey the Lord 100% of the time?
How are your children going to obey 100% of the time?
That is nonsense.
Why?
They're sinners.
They're human.
They're not.
Look dogs are functioning on a much lower level than humans.
I'd rather have a human child than a dog.
Oh but the dog obeys better.
Yeah but I actually love my child because they have a brain and a soul and I can actually
communicate with them.
They're more creative than a dog.
And we as human beings we're not satisfied just being these robots.
A dog is satisfied with that kind of a lifestyle.
They thrive on that kind of a life of just a regimented routine and life and they get
their milk bone and they get scratched behind the ear and they go on their walk and they
mark their territory and life is good.
But you know what a human wants a little more than that don't they?
Why because they're on a much higher level.
I mean that's like saying well look at this dolphin swim.
You should be able to swim better.
It's just stupid.
Look at this gorilla.
It can pick up a car.
Go pick it up.
You know you're better.
You're more evolved.
It's stupid.
And no evolution is a lie anyway.
We don't believe in that anyway.
But the point is that human beings are not animals.
And then he also compares it to a drill instructor.
Look at all these soldiers all just marching in a row.
That's how your kids should be.
No.
Because we're not raising soldiers and we're not rearing dogs.
You cannot eradicate the sin nature.
And so don't get this crazy doctrine of you know if you raise your kids right they'll
obey you all the time 100 percent of the time.
Now let's keep going here through these points.
Look at Proverbs chapter 23 Proverbs chapter 23.
We want to love our children spend time with them and nurture them.
And look that Michael Pearl is a psycho.
This book is crazy.
My wife just did a video where she actually like went through point by point the book
and like I was just blown away by the stuff in that book.
Just how creepy and weird and how ridiculous that book is.
And you know that book not only does it just teach you this sinless perfection mentality
and he doesn't teach that doctrine in the book.
He teaches that in his Romans Bible series of his false teaching.
But in the book it comes across loud and clear where he's basically telling you that your
children are going to obey 100 percent of the time.
But when you read the book it's like an infomercial.
This is amazing you know.
Look at these kids they obey 100 percent of the time.
It only took me two minutes to get them this way.
He'll literally say in the book yeah just two or three minutes and it'll fix everything.
Your kids are going to obey you 100 percent.
It's like what in the world.
It's like the ShamWow parenting.
I mean this guy is like a Billy Mays of parenting like look at this Hercules hook you just stab
it into the drywall and you can hang a piano on the wall you know.
This thing can hold 500 pounds.
It's amazing.
Look at the Ginsu knife it cuts through a penny and then it cuts through this tomato
no problem.
You know plumbers can use this just to cut all their pipes and everything.
I mean that's how the book reads like it just makes you all these crazy promises.
So then people buy the book and they're like oh man.
And then when it doesn't work out for them then they feel like an idiot.
Well my kids still disobey sometimes I must be doing something wrong.
So then he tells them just keep spanking them and just keep spanking them until they submit
just keep it.
And there have been people who literally beat their child until it died.
And they said well I read Michael Pearl's book and that's why I did it.
Then he had to come back and put in all these disclaimers in the new editions of the book
to like say hey don't just keep beating them until they die you know.
But I'm not kidding.
Look it up there are people who literally killed their child because they just kept
beating their child until it died.
I mean this is an abusive style of parenting when you think you're just going to beat your
kids into submission or that you just have to keep spanking them until they agree with
you.
No you can't do that because you know what some people are just going to be so stubborn
you can whip them and beat them and they're never going to agree with you.
But you know what I don't care if my kids agree with me because you know what they have
to decide that for themselves but I will discipline them if they don't obey.
But I'm not going to force them to agree with everything I say and do.
They don't have to agree with everything in my home they just have to obey.
Now over time I'm going to gain their heart and I'm going to teach them the word of God
and I'm going to preach to them and eventually these rules that we have in our house they're
eventually going to have to have those rules for themselves.
They're going to have to understand and believe and agree with those things for themselves
but I can't beat that into them.
I mean you can't beat someone, the Catholics tried that in the Inquisition didn't they?
Just keep beating someone until they believe in Catholicism.
Isn't that what the Inquisition was?
All right let's beat you for a while, do you still not agree with our doctrine?
Okay beat them again.
It doesn't work that way.
You know what they could take us and beat us we're not going to renounce Christ.
You can't beat someone into believing what you believe.
You know how you get the child to believe what you believe?
You know faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God.
You got to read them the word of God, you got to preach them the word of God and you
have to show them a godly example and you have to love them and nurture them and admonish
them and gain their heart.
Now spanking has its place because there has to be a deterrent for wrongdoing.
There has to be punishment and discipline but you have to teach and lovingly guide your
children you cannot beat them into submission.
If I spank my children and they throw a fit about getting spanked you know they're yelling
out and you know then I give them another spanking but I don't give them a third spanking
a fourth spanking a fifth spanking just keep doing it until they know.
If they act like a fool when they get spanked and they freak out they get another spanking
but they don't get a third spanking they don't get a fourth spanking a fifth spanking you
know because I'm just not going to stop until you accept this spanking you accept it.
It doesn't work because it's just going to provoke them to anger it's just going to provoke
them to wrath.
So do you see how people could go overboard on discipline?
Now look certainly some people don't discipline enough but there's a way to go overboard believe
me where it becomes injurious and abusive and so we don't want to do that.
Look at Proverbs 23 13 it says withhold not correction from the child for if thou beatest
him with the rod he shall not die thou shall beat him with the rod and shall deliver his
soul from hell.
My son if thine heart be wise my heart shall rejoice even mine yea my reigns shall rejoice
when thy lips speak right things and I want to get into my third point a little bit now
that I haven't much touched on that we must let our children live their own lives.
What do I mean by that let them live their own lives.
Many people today are so narcissistic meaning that they are what the Bible calls lovers
of their own selves.
The Bible predicted in the last days men would be lovers of their own selves.
They are such lovers of their own selves that their children to them are just a trophy to
show off to other people.
Haman was like this he would brag about his children all the time right in the book of
Esther they are a trophy to show off they are like pets to them hence the dog training
illustration they are just like these ornaments or accessories or a way to glorify themselves
of look at my perfectly behaved children look at my wonderful children and they don't let
them live their own lives but they want to vicariously live through their children or
they want to show off their children to other people.
Let me give you a classic example of this.
How about these people who have their kid doing gymnastics when it's 4, 5, 6 years old
and they are already talking about the Olympics you know what I'm talking about they are not
letting the kid live its own life.
I mean they got their kid out there doing ice skating you know when it's five years
old and they are saying this kid is going to win the gold you know in 2032 Olympics
or whatever you know look that is not the right way to parent but there is a Christian
version of that because we would all look at these people who do that to their kids
and they want to raise these Olympiads for their own glory or whatever narcissistic reason
but there is a Christian version of that.
What does the Bible say?
The Bible says in verse 15 there my son if thy heart be wise my heart shall rejoice even
mine.
Do you see that phrase even mine at the end?
We would look at that as being kind of redundant right because he already said my heart shall
rejoice well listen that which seems to be unnecessary is doubly important because if
it seems unnecessary then we have to ask ourselves why did God repeat that why did God put that
in there extra tagged on to the end and I'll tell you why it's because he's emphasizing
the fact that you know what if our children do what's right that makes us happy us happy
why because it's not about pleasing other people hey everybody look at my kids impressing
others with our kids our kids living for God is not something to impress others it's just
something that brings us joy you know I have no greater joy than to hear that my children
walk in truth but I'm not raising kids to be trophies or ornaments or accessories or
pets that I can show off to other people and brag about to other people you know I
want my children to live their own life and you know what here's the Christian version
of this I want my child to be this you know ice skating prodigy or I want my child to
swim in the Olympics or do gymnastics in the Olympics and they're gonna get the gold medal
and they're eight years old we're already planning that for them the Christian equivalent
of that is when we just decide oh my son's gonna grow up and be this preacher my son's
gonna grow up and be a pastor and my daughter's only gonna marry a pastor she's gonna be a
pastor's wife you know it's like we already have planned their life out for them you know
let them live their own life you know that's too heavy-handed and you know what I can stand
up here and honestly say from the bottom of my heart if none of my sons are a preacher
that is fine with me and if none of my daughters marry preachers that is great by me I have
no desire literally zero desire for any of my children to be pastors or pastor's wife
now if they're pastors or pastor's wives you know great it's not that I don't want them to do that
but it's that I don't care you know why because I only care that they love the Lord I only care
that they serve the Lord I only care that they're godly Christians and you know what you can be
every bit as godly as an electrician or a plumber or a computer programmer or as a landscaper as
being a pastor it's not like being a pastor some higher level of godliness look they're going to be
laymen who get greater rewards than pastors that's not what it's about folks so let's let our
children live their own life you know obviously we have boundaries for them but doesn't God let
us live our own life now God has rules he tells us thou shalt not but he lets us live our own life
and we should let our children live their own life and not dictate everything and not use our
children as some kind of an extension of ourselves and and try to vicariously live through them and
all the athletic achievements that we didn't achieve let's have them do it and and spiritual
achievements that we didn't achieve they're going to do it you know let them decide what they want
to do with their life and you know just love your children and let them be them and love them for
who they are not trying to force them to be something that they're not now if they are cut
out to be a preacher great love them but if they're not cut out for the ministry love them
anyway so what they can still be a soul winner they can still be a dedicated church member and
listen not everybody in this world is going to be a spiritual giant study your bible
how many read the book of judges there are some spiritual giants in the book of judges aren't there
but you know there's only a few per generation that are spiritual giants there was but there
were still other great preachers and other great prophets of God that are just unknown and unnamed
but you know there's only one or two guys in each generation sometimes that are maybe like an Elijah
or an Isaiah or Jeremiah right so we don't have to feel like we have to live up to that or that
our kids have to live up to that and not only that but there are just a lot of godly Christians that
fill the pew I mean we don't want to have all chiefs and no Indians so don't get this attitude
that you have to go into the ministry you have to do all this stuff you have to go to the Olympics
you have to be a professional app it's just dumb you know just look have rules for your kids but
don't tell them who to marry now I do believe that the father has the right to veto a guy
that's not appropriate for his daughter you know if there's a if there's a rotten guy or a bad guy
that he doesn't want his daughter to be dating her or the bible teaches that he has the right to veto
that but he doesn't have the right to say all right honey you're marrying this guy no let her
choose from among godly young men the man that she wants to marry don't don't tell her exactly
how she has to live her life let her live her own life as long as it's in accordance with god's word
and as long as it's in accordance with our rules okay and our rules should not be grievous because
god's rules are not grievous so we don't want to militarize and and live their life for them
and tell them what to do I gotta hurry because I'm almost out of time go to first Samuel chapter 8
but the bible tells us to love our children and and part of this is just loving your children
and that's something that you can't fake
anyone who's been around my family knows that my children love me anybody who spends any time with
us knows that my children love me and not only that but my children desire to spend time with me
they beg to go places with me they beg to spend time with me they like to be around me and you
know why because I love them they love me because I first love them and they all know that I love
them they all realize that I love them and they love me back you know loving your children goes
a long ways bringing them up in the nurture and admonition of the lord and loving your children
and you can't be faked but you know what I submit to you that the one who's putting their child in
some baby beauty pageant and training them for the Olympics and all that he probably doesn't love
their child they probably love themselves and they're a narcissist and they they're more
concerned about their own glory or glorifying their family or you know they just have it in
their head that all their kids are going to be part of some string ensemble now I'm not against
training your children to play a musical instrument I think that's good education and good training
but just this over the top hey we're going to raise all these violin prodigies we're going to
raise all these chess masters and and olympiads and preachers and preachers wise look just why
don't you just chill out right and why don't you just raise some godly christian kids that love the
lord and you know what one of them might step forward and be that othniel or be that ehud or
be that gideon or be that great man of god or be a peter james or john but you know what I'm not
just assuming that all my kids are going to be like peter james and john and they're just going
turn the whole world upside down hey I just want them to live for the lord I just want them to be
a part of the team and you know what if they can win 30 people to the lord every year some 30 some
60 some 100 just out door to door soul winning just as a layman and they just live a normal life
hey I think that's great I think god's pleased with that I think I've succeeded as a parent at
that point not trying to live through them and live their life for them and make all the decisions
for them you know why because I love them I want them to be happy and I want them to do what god
has for them in their life and that's between them and god and they need to seek the lord on
their own and have their own walk with god and I'm going to spend my life preaching to them
teaching them and guiding them toward that walk with god and showing them an example of a walk
with god but eventually they need to do that for themselves you see samuel did this he took his
sons that were not godly they were not spiritual and he put them in this position that they didn't
belong in because he just wanted his kids in the ministry I mean he just had it said that his kids
are going to be preachers right look what it says first samuel ate one it came to pass when samuel
was old that he made his son's judges over israel you know what an othiel or an ehud or a gideon
you don't just make him that because you're he's your son he's got to achieve that for himself
oh they just made him judges over israel the name of the firstborn was joel and the name of the
second abaya and they were judges in bir sheba his sons walked not in his ways but turned aside
after lucre and took bribes and perverted judgments then all the elders all the elders of
israel gathered themselves together and came to samuel and to raima and said to him behold thou
art old and thy sons walk not in thy ways now make us a king to judge us like all the nations
look the people didn't want these guys the elders didn't want these guys it was just dad or ordained
them the only one they could find ordained them was their dad right and you know what let me just
go on the record right now none of my sons will ever be ordained by me ever you know the whole
point of being ordained is that you're approved of someone other than mommy and daddy of course
mommy and daddy are going to approve of you they think you're so wonderful but look i've seen this
my whole life and you you think oh you're talking about so-and-so yeah i am but you know what i'm
talking about about a hundred other so-and-so's too because i've seen this kind of nepotism my
whole life where the pastor's sons just get hired they just get put on the payroll and they're not
even qualified and it makes people mad hey even if my sons are qualified let me just go on the record
once again saying none of my children will ever work for faithful word baptist church
never no matter how much they excel if they want to be in the ministry they will work for another
church you say oh that doesn't seem fair well you know what live the life that i've lived and see it
go bad over and over again you know what you you put the novice in a high position of authority
and he's lifted up with pride and he falls into the condemnation of the devil and that's exactly
what happened to samuel's kids you know these novices are just put in high position just
because it's pastor anderson's son that's garbage my sons need to go out into the world they need
to make it on their own and they need to live their own life and you know what if god lifts
up one of them as a leader as a pastor as a great but you know what that's between them and god
all i want is for them to be a soul winner all i want is for them to be
someone who goes to church and loves the lord so don't have these crazy high expectations for your
kids uh to be these uh superstars just because of your own pride and because you're lifted up so
number one we must not spare the rod number two we must love and spend time with our children
and let me emphasize we must love them from the heart we must love them and care about them
and number three we must let them live their own lives you know don't let them just ride on your
coattails let them go out and earn it for themselves let them do what they want to do in
life as long as it's nothing sinful as long as it's not sinful let them do what they want to do
with their lives and choose their path as long as they don't neglect to serve the lord but they
don't all have to be spiritual giants okay i hope that many spiritual giants will rise up from our
midst but you know what you kids that grow up and become godly church members and godly laymen i
love you just as much and i'm just as proud of you if you can just be pure on your wedding day
and just and just go to church and just be a good person you know what great you don't have to go
out and be the next whoever right let me say one last thing about spanking is that you know there
are some people who make a public show of spanking their kids and this is a bad thing to do don't
make a public show of spanking your kids and you know what i've noticed the people who seem to make
the biggest loudest public show of spanking their kids are often the ones with the most misbehaved
kids and you know what i'm thinking to myself is if they were really that consistent disciplining
their kid their kid wouldn't be so bad okay but their kids just super out of line and again even
if kids are spanked properly they're not going to be perfect my kids aren't perfect you already know
that but here's the thing but but you know what it's same but i'm proud of all my kids
i'm proud of my kids i'm not ashamed of them i take them with me uh to other parts of the country
and i'm proud of them even though they sometimes do stupid things that embarrass me but you know
what i just have to keep reminding myself how stupid i was when i was that age and some of
the dumb things i did and i think to myself well you know i was worse and that makes me feel better
but i love my kids i'm proud of my kids i like to take them with me i you know uh they're good
kids they're not perfect but they're good kids but you know you see some people whose kids are
just way out of line and then you see these people put on this big dramatic display of spanking their
kids in church and spanking them publicly you know what they're what it really is they're just trying
to prove to everybody hey look everybody it's not that i don't spank yeah it is it's that you
are leaving them to themselves too much you're not spending time because it's not just spanking
you what was the last time you sat down with your toddler and spent quality time with them
and it's work isn't it so you know oh your kids so wow i spanked them i don't know what
pop look why don't you sit down and spend some quality time why don't you sit down and build
a puzzle why don't you sit down and do some coloring why don't you go play outside why
don't you teach them something have a little fun play a little board game with your little toddler
right and you know what it's sometimes it's hard to to condescend to that level because it's not
as intellectual of a game as we would choose but you know what if we love our children we'll do
that and we'll just enjoy being with them and enjoying that time together and so don't just
don't beat your children into submission that's not the biblical way of discipline i thank god
he doesn't just beat the fire out of us into discipline and i mean is god is god's only
interaction with us just to just to just to discipline us no he daily loadeth us with
benefits i mean he's a good god unto us and blesses us and and gives us good things as well
so uh get some balance on this thing of parenting and don't put on some public show of just you know
whipping your kid in public all the time you know if you spank your kids right at home
public discipline is rare it's rarely even necessary in public so you know it it's not
no nobody's impressed by you just whipping your kid in public all the time all right let's
father we thank you so much for the teachings of the book of proverbs lord and and none of us is
perfect as a parent none of our children are perfect lord but thank you for your grace and
thank you that you love us anyway and thank you for giving us wisdom lord help us all to
to apply these things and not to just apply them to our neighbor but to actually apply
these things in our own hearts so that we can become better parents lord in jesus name we pray
amen