The title of my sermon this morning is, The Importance of Our Friends.
The importance of our friends, the verse that I want to focus on in chapter 18 there is
verse 24 where it says, A man that hath friends must show himself friendly, and there is a
friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
And what the first part of that verse is saying is that, in order to have friends, you have
to learn to be a friend.
If you want to have friends, you have to show yourself to be friendly.
Now what does it mean to be a good friend?
Well flip over to chapter 17, verse 17, and the Bible reads, A friend loveth at all times,
and a brother is born for adversity.
So according to the Bible, a friend is someone who is there for you in your time of need.
When you need help, they're there for you all the time.
They love you at all times, and they are ready to be with you in times of adversity.
Go over to chapter 27 if you would.
A man that hath friends must show himself friendly, and there is a friend that sticketh
closer than a brother.
What's that saying?
It's saying that sometimes the friends that we have in our life can even become more important
to us than even physical relatives.
Sometimes we might even have a friend that would stick closer to us than even our own
physical brother.
That's how important friendship can be.
Sometimes when our brother or our sister, physically speaking, may not be there for
us, a good friend could be there for you.
The Bible says in Proverbs 27, verse 9, ointment and perfume, rejoice the heart.
So doth the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel, thine own friend and thy father's
friend forsake not, neither go into thy brother's house in the day of thy calamity, for better
is a neighbor that is near than a brother far off.
So the Bible is telling us there in verse number 9 that friends are sweet and refreshing
and they give enjoyment to our lives.
They improve the quality of our lives.
It said ointment and perfume, rejoice the heart.
So does the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel.
But then he also talks again about how friends are there for you when you need help.
It says thine own friend and thy father's friend forsake not.
So when somebody needs your help and your friend calls upon you, you want to be there
for them.
And it says it's better to have a neighbor that's near than a brother that's far off.
Sometimes our physical family might live really far away, but our friend, our brothers and
sisters in Christ that we have friendships with are right there for us locally when we
need them.
Go if you would to verse 17 of the same chapter, Proverbs 27, 17.
The Bible says iron sharpeneth iron so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.
So also friends are people that could make us a better person.
We can help each other become better people.
As iron sharpens iron, that's what someone can do for their friend.
Look at verse number 5.
It says open rebuke is better than secret love.
Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
So also a friend is someone who will correct us when we need to be corrected.
It's not that our friends are people who would just always tell us what we want to hear and
be a yes man to us, but they make us a better person.
They'll sharpen us.
We sharpen each other and sometimes that involves rebuking them when they need to be rebuked
or reproving them or accepting reproofs or accepting rebukes from them.
You see, every man's way is right in his own eyes, but when we have good friends around
us, they can sometimes point out to us when we're doing wrong, when we're making a mistake
and they might not be as emotional about the situation, they can kind of step outside
of it and look at it and say, listen, brother, you're doing the wrong thing here.
You're making the wrong decision and give us sometimes some tough love and tell us what
we need to hear to get ourselves back on track.
That's what a good friend can do for you.
They can improve you.
They can make you a better person.
They're there for you when you need them and also they sweeten our lives and improve the
quality of our lives.
They give delight unto us.
But not only that, friends could also make us worse.
The right kind of friend is going to make us a better person as iron sharpens iron.
But go to Proverbs 22 verse 24 and you'll see that the wrong kind of friend can make
us a bad person.
Their bad habits could rub off on us.
Their bad influence could actually destroy us and there are many examples of this in
the Bible, but look down at Proverbs 22 verse 24.
The Bible says, make no friendship with an angry man and with a furious man thou shalt
not go, lest thou learn his ways and get a snare to thy soul.
Have you ever known people who are just angry all the time?
Now of course the Bible teaches there is a time to be angry and a time not to be angry.
And the Bible also teaches that when we do become angry for a right reason, we should
not let the sun go down on our wrath.
We should not be angry from day to day because anger resteth in the bosom of fools.
Now Jesus Christ himself was angry.
God becomes angry frequently in the Bible and men of God throughout the Bible, even
when the spirit of the Lord came upon them, became angry.
But we need to understand that most of the anger that's out there today in the world
and in our lives is a wrong anger that's actually sinful, where we become angry at the wrong
things.
Not a righteous indignation against sin or false religion, but an anger that's just because
someone crossed us or someone did us wrong or someone cut us off in traffic or someone
dropped a glass and it shattered and a parent just starts screaming and angry.
You know, obviously that's the wrong kind of anger.
Being quick to anger is wrong.
Being angry over selfish things is wrong.
We're not talking about a righteous indignation.
But there are people who are just angry people.
That's just an attribute of who they are.
I mean you get around these people and on Monday they're mad, on Tuesday they're mad,
Wednesday they're mad, Thursday they're mad.
Who's known people like that?
Put up your hand if you've known people like that.
That's what the Bible's warning us about.
He's saying don't be friends with people like that or you'll get the same way.
You'll get that same negative attitude that just complains about everything all the time.
Always down in the dumps, always angry.
You don't have the joy of the Lord as your strength.
You're not rejoicing.
You're not having a good time.
You're just angry and bitter and mad all the time.
And look, I've worked with a guy like that before.
And I mean this guy was just the most angry, bitter person.
You'd walk up to him and just say something nice to him like, hey, good morning.
How are you doing?
Oh, it's Monday.
I hate this stupid job, right?
And look, there are a lot of people out there that are just angry, furious people.
And the Bible says if you're friends with people like that, you may learn their ways
and get a snare unto your own soul.
Now go to 2 Samuel chapter 13, 2 Samuel chapter number 13.
And we'll see an example of a really bad friend in the Bible.
This just shows how powerful the influence of a wicked friend can be.
Now this is the story of Amnon and Tamar.
Amnon is the son of King David, and he is in love with his half-sister.
This is not his full-blooded sister, but it's his half-sister, which is obviously totally
inappropriate and wicked, right?
So he has this feeling in his heart, and he's going through a tough time because he's having
these feelings, and he's upset, and he's losing weight, he's feeling sick, and so forth.
Well, it would have just ended there with him just being a fool in his own heart.
But his wicked friend comes along and prompts him to actually act upon his wicked desire
and actually emboldens him to commit a horrible sin.
Look at 2 Samuel chapter 13 verse 1.
It says, and it came to pass after this that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister
whose name was Tamar, and Amnon the son of David loved her, and Amnon was so vexed that
he fell sick for his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and Amnon thought it hard for
him to do anything to her.
So Amnon decides, you know what, it would be terrible for me to act on this, and she's
a virgin, and what in the world would I be thinking to do such a wicked thing?
He thought it hard, but it says in the next phrase, but Amnon had a friend.
So at the end of verse 2, it's clear that without this friend, he wouldn't have acted
on his wicked sinful desire, his covetousness of coveting that which was not available to
him, because the Bible obviously is crystal clear that you cannot marry even your half
sister.
You should not marry anyone that is near of kin to you.
That's wicked.
And so it would have stopped there, but he had this friend.
And see, this is how it can be in a lot of people's lives where they have temptations,
they have wicked desires, they get backslidden, they get stupid ideas in their head, but hopefully
it just ends there.
You know, hopefully they just realize, hey, I'm not actually going to act on that.
I don't actually want to be a fool and ruin my life and ruin other people's lives.
But if we have that friend that's more wicked than ourselves, that friend could push us
over the edge to do things that we would never normally do.
And you know how it is when groups of teenagers get together, or groups of young people get
together, and they rile each other up, they egg each other on, they make each other worse,
and they embolden each other to do things that they would have never done on their own.
But in the group, under the peer pressure, they will do those things.
And that's for good or evil.
You know, you get around a bunch of good people, hey, let's go soul winning, and you would
have never gone soul winning, but everybody else is going, so you're, oh, okay, let's
go.
Right?
And so it's the same way with bad friends.
They can embolden you to do things like stealing or fornication, doing drugs, drinking alcohol,
whatever the case may be.
So Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shemia, David's brother, and Jonadab
was a very subtle man.
And he said in him, why art thou, being the king's son, lean from day to day?
Wilt thou not tell me?
He said, you know, you're the king's son.
Why aren't you happy?
Why aren't you enjoying life?
You have all these advantages.
And by the way, this is another great example of having all the advantages of being a king's
son and being rich doesn't give happiness.
Wealth doesn't give happiness.
Power doesn't give happiness.
You just always want something else.
We need to find our happiness in the things of God and righteous things.
But he says, wilt thou not tell me?
And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister.
And Jonadab said unto him, lay thee down on thy bed and make thyself sick.
And when thy father cometh to see thee, say unto him, I pray thee, let my sister Tamar
come and give me meat and dress the meat in my sight, that I may see it and eat it at
her hand.
And, you know, to make a long story short, Amnon ends up forcing her, you know, committing
a horrible crime that's actually worthy of death to commit that crime, of forcing this
woman.
And after he does that, he doesn't even want to be with her anyway.
He ends up hating her and throwing her out of the house and wanting nothing to do with
her ever again.
A little bit of time goes by and he ends up being killed for his crime by Absalom because
Absalom is so angry at what was done to his sister that Absalom takes revenge and ends
up killing.
So he ends up dying because of this, for something that he thought he wanted and then once he
got it, he wasn't even happy with it anyway and he destroyed his entire life.
He died young.
He ruined Tamar's life.
He ruined a bunch of people's lives.
He ended up causing tons of people to get killed because Absalom ends up, you know,
going from being a guy who's just trying to avenge his sister.
He ends up, because of the rift between him and his dad, becoming a wicked person.
There's a civil war in the whole country as a result of this incident.
So these incidents that where we give in to sin in our lives or we let friends prompt
us to do wicked things, these can have huge repercussions, huge ramifications, pleasure
for a moment and pain for a lifetime.
And that's what we see in this story.
So this shows you just the danger of having wicked friends.
Go to 2 Timothy chapter 1, we'll see the example of a good friend.
And of course, this friend, he seems like he loves Amnon.
This friend, Jonadab, like he cares about him, oh, you know, why are you so lean from
day to day?
I just want to make you happy.
He seems like he really cares.
This is the same guy that's going to, if we actually read the whole story, throws Amnon
under the bus and does not stand with him.
After he commits the sin, Jonadab turns around and accuses Amnon to his own father.
And so this friend that will prompt you to do evil, even if they seem like they really
love you and care about you and accept you, they don't care about you because love is
of God and everyone that loveth is born of God and knoweth God.
People who are godly people, they're the ones who really have love for you.
The fake friend, he might say a lot of sweet things to you, but he's not really your friend
and this goes back to what we saw in Proverbs when it said, faithful are the wounds of a
friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
So sometimes your friend is the one who's showing you some tough love and telling you
what you need to hear and rebuking you and getting you on the right path, not like the
really kind and loving friend like Jonadab who comes to you and tells you what you want
to hear and he acts like he cares about you, but really he's destroying your life and killing
you.
Here's an example of a good friend in the Bible, 2 Timothy chapter 1 verse 15 is the
apostle Paul speaking, This thou knowest that all they which are in Asia be turned away
from me, of whom are Phygelus and Hermogenes.
The Lord give mercy unto the house of Onesiphorus, for he oft refreshed me and was not ashamed
of my chain.
So again, the friend is the one who refreshes you.
It's sweet and refreshing to have a good friend, but it says also that he was not ashamed of
my chain.
This means that he's there for him when he's going through a bad time.
He's not just a fair weather friend, but he's there in his time of adversity.
He's not ashamed of his chain.
The chain he's talking about is the fact that he's actually in prison and he's chained up
in Rome.
It says, But when he was in Rome, verse 17, he sought me out very diligently and found
me.
The Lord grant unto him that he may find mercy of the Lord in that day, and in how many things
he ministered unto me at Ephesus, thou knowest very well.
So here's a guy who's ministering to him.
Here's a guy who's helping him.
Here's a guy who's there in his time of need to refresh him and not to be ashamed of the
chain.
And there are all kinds of examples in the Bible of good friends and bad friends.
For example, the famous story of the prodigal son.
The prodigal son is the one who rebels against his parents and he takes his portion of the
inheritance.
He goes off into a far country and he spends up all his substance on riotous living, just
partying and getting drunk and whatever.
But as soon as the money runs out, all of his companions, they all ditch him.
They don't want him anymore.
They only wanted to be with him when he was buying the next round, when he was buying
the next drink, when he was buying the next, you know, stack of chips at the casino or
whatever.
Then that's when his friends are there for him.
But when he comes into adversity, when he comes into a time of need, no man gave unto
him.
See, your partying buddy, your drinking buddy, your gambling buddy, those aren't the people
that are going to be there for you.
It's your godly Christian friend that's going to be there for you who tells you the truth,
who rebukes you when you need to be rebuked.
He's the one who's actually going to be there for you in your time of adversity and he's
not going to be ashamed of the chain.
You know, when the persecution comes to the church, that's when you figure out who the
fair weather friends are and who the onosiferous are, however you pronounce that.
You know, you find out who's an onosiferous and you find out who's just a fake fair weather
friend.
You know, persecution hit Verity Baptist Church pretty hard last summer in Sacramento, California
and you know, a lot of people left the church.
And you know, I remember Pastor Jimenez saying that some of the people that he expected to
leave, that he thought wouldn't be able to handle the chain, they stepped up to the plate
and instead of being a Sunday morning only, they even ramped up their church attendance,
let alone quitting the church.
They started coming to Sunday nights and Wednesday nights and they were right there and stood
right beside him.
And then other people that he would have thought would have stood with him that seemed like
they were faithful church members at the first sign of persecution or tribulation, by and
by they were offended.
I mean they're just anon, they're gone.
I mean they're just, immediately they quit.
See it kind of separates right there the real friends from the hangers on.
And so it's the same way in all of our lives, even if you're not a pastor or anything like
that, you're going to go through trials, you're going to go through tribulations, you're going
to go through hard times.
Who's going to be with you when you're in the hard times?
When you're in the hospital bed month after month after month or when you're experiencing
whatever the hardship or heartache, the person who's there for you then is the real friend.
As opposed to the people who just want to be with you when you're fun, when you have
something to offer, when you got money to spend.
Go to Acts 27, Acts chapter number 27.
So we're kind of getting a picture of biblical friendship when we look at Proverbs and then
we look at some of these other stories with some examples of good friends and bad friends.
We can see how this plays out.
But it says in Acts chapter 27, this is the Apostle Paul, it says, the next day we touched
at Zidon and Julius courteously entreated Paul and gave him liberty to go unto his friends,
watch this, to go unto his friends to refresh himself.
We need friends in our lives.
It's a pretty rare person who could go through life without any friendship, without any companionship,
the true loner.
I'm sure they're out there, but that's the exception, not the rule.
The Bible says it's not good for the man to be alone.
We need friends, we need companions, we need people to be with us.
Now obviously most of us are married or are going to get married in our lives and that's
actually a close friend for us because the Bible even says in Song of Solomon 516, this
is the wife singing of her husband, his mouth is most sweet, yea, he is altogether lovely.
This is my beloved and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.
So she calls her husband her friend.
And so obviously that's an important friendship in our lives, husband and wife.
That's the most important friendship, humanly speaking, in our lives.
But there are other friendships that we have beyond that.
And especially if you're single and you're not yet married, then you need friends.
Or if you're one of those rare people that is never going to get married, you definitely
need friends.
Now the Apostle Paul was one of those people who forwent marriage.
He decided not to get married and just to serve the Lord full time.
He said that not everybody has that gift.
He's saying kids don't try this at home unless you're sure that that's what God has called
you to do, that God has given you that gift.
If you have the desire to get married, it's better to marry than to burn.
And most people are going to get married.
But men like Paul and Barnabas that decided not to get married, they decided that that
wasn't a problem for them, fornication was not a temptation that was going to derail
them.
They were able to withstand that temptation and be single.
When we look at the life of the Apostle Paul, even though he wasn't married, he's constantly
surrounded by friends, constantly surrounded by friends.
He talks more about his friends than anybody else in the Bible.
He goes on and on in his epistles.
He's always saying, hey, say hi to this person, say hi to this person.
This guy's my companion.
This guy's my fellow laborer.
This guy's my fellow soldier.
And we see him always traveling with somebody.
It's Paul and Barnabas, or it's Paul and Silas and Timotheus.
It's Paul and John Mark and Barnabas.
He always had people with him because you can't just do it alone in life.
You need friends.
You need companions.
You need people to refresh you.
You can't just live this ascetic, hermit's life by yourself.
You need the refreshment of having some good social interaction and having friends.
That's part of why God gave us the local church, so that we could not be alone, so that we
could make friends, so that we could get to know other people that believe like us,
that are in the same situations as us.
And we could sharpen each other, encourage each other, love each other, be there for
each other, build each other up, and refresh each other.
That's what the Bible teaches.
And so when a missionary goes to the mission field, they take their family with them.
Or if they don't have a family, then they need some kind of a team, or they need some
kind of a co-laborer, some kind of a co-worker, so that they're not just over there on the
mission field just by themselves, and they could get backslidden, they get discouraged.
They need somebody to be with them, and hold them accountable, and be their friend, and
help them, and refresh them, and give them camaraderie and companionship.
Go if you would to John chapter 15.
And while you're turning there, you know, I'm not going to turn to all the places where
Paul greets and salutes his friends, because it would take too long to just look at all
those verses.
But also the apostle John does the same thing, and in 3 John, he says in verse 14,
But I trust I shall shortly see thee, and we shall speak face to face, peace be to thee.
Our friends salute thee, and he says this, greet the friends by name.
Greet the friends by name.
He said, I trust I shall come unto you, and we shall speak face to face, at the end of
second John, that our joy may be full.
There's joy in being with your friends, face to face, and refreshing one another.
But friendship is a very strong relationship.
The Bible said there's a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
Look what Jesus said in John 15, 12.
This is my commandment that you love one another, as I have loved you.
That's a pretty strong love, that he loved us.
He says, that's how I want you to love one another, or each other.
And then he says, greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for
his friends.
So friendship is such a strong relationship, that you would love one another, even as Christ
loved us, and that you would even lay down your life for your friend, the Bible says.
That's the greatest love, to lay down your life for your friends, it says in John chapter
15.
And you say, well, you know, this all sounds great, but I don't have any friends, right?
Sounds great, where do I sign up for these kind of friendships?
Well that takes us back to the beginning, doesn't it?
A man that hath friends must show himself friendly.
The old saying goes, a friend in need is a friend in deed.
And so, a man that hath friends must show himself friendly.
You've got to be a friend, if you want to have friends.
You can't just wait for people to befriend you, and wait for people to reach out to you,
and help you, and be there for you.
You've got to be the one that steps up, and is the friend first, okay?
Now if you would, I'm going to give you a couple of ways to make some friends at church.
And the reason I say make friends at church, is because that's the best place to make friends,
okay?
Now go if you would to Philippians chapter 4, Philippians chapter 4.
Because remember we talked about earlier that the wrong kind of friends can derail you and
destroy your life, okay?
The Bible told us of Amnon, and it told us of the furious friend that could derail us,
and ruin our lives, and things like that.
And so, the Bible also says in James, it says, ye adulterers and adulterers, know ye not
that the friendship of the world is enmity with God.
Whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.
So we want to make sure we're not just a friend of the world, we want to make sure that we're
not just friends with everybody.
Hey, just be everybody's friend, no, no, no.
We want to be friends with God's people.
Now that doesn't mean that we don't treat people well outside of the faith.
Obviously people that are outside of the faith, people that are atheists, agnostics, Hindus,
Buddhists, Muslims, whoever, we should show them the love of Christ, we should reach out
to them, we should be kind to them, we should do good unto them, but we should not be their
close friend.
We should not be their close friend.
We shouldn't just be getting together after work with all the worldly, unsaved people
at the job, and just going to the bar with them.
You're just going to drink a Coca-Cola, but you're there at the bar.
You're coming under a lot of bad influences like that, and you don't want to have these
deep friendships where you really tell everything that's on your mind, and you've got the slumber
party, and you've got the getaways, and where you're spending all this close time together
with people that aren't saved.
What you ought to do is make your close friendships in church, or even if it's not in church,
with other like-minded believers who might go to a different church, but they also love
the Lord.
We want to be yoked up most closely with God's people, with one another, and our friends
should be of God.
How do we make friends at church?
Our church is a pretty big church, about 300-some people in our church right here this morning,
and so it's a pretty good site.
The average church in America, the average independent fundamental Baptist church has
75 people in it.
The average church of any kind in America has 85 people in it, and our church has about
300-some people.
It's a pretty good selection of friends, and growing, amen?
There are a lot of friends here that you could meet, and then there are other independent
Baptist churches in our area where you could also make friends.
There are like 40 independent Baptist churches in Phoenix that use the King James Bible,
and there are other Christians and people that we might know that love the Lord and
read their Bibles that could be good friends, but let's just focus on how do I make friends
at church, because there's a great pool of possible friends for you.
You might say, I already have lots of friends.
Okay, great, but for those who maybe don't and you want to make friends at church, number
one, I would say this, when you come to church, say hi to people, greet people, approach people
other than just your normal circle.
The Bible says in Philippians 4, are you there, Philippians 4, look at Philippians 4 verse
21, it says, salute every saint in Christ Jesus.
Salute every saint in Christ Jesus, the brethren which are with me, greet you.
Now stay there, but listen to Matthew 5, Matthew 5, 46 says, for if you love them which love
you, what reward have you?
Do not even the publicans the same?
And if you salute your brethren only, what do you more than others?
Do not even the publicans so, be therefore perfect even as your father which is heaven
is perfect.
So the Bible is saying, don't just salute your brethren, don't just salute your buddies,
don't just salute those who love you, no, you need to salute every saint in Christ Jesus
and in fact, when you're out and about even in this world, you should salute every person
that you come into contact with.
You know, if you walk by someone, you should say hi to them, right?
That's kind of a normal common courtesy, you walk by someone, you smile and say hi, you
smile and say hello, you don't just act like everybody doesn't exist, right?
This is what the Bible is teaching, but especially in the church, you know, greet people, get
around and look, if you're a long time church member and you've been at this church for
years and you've got your circle of friends and you say, well, I don't need this part
of the circle, but you know what?
You need to reach out to some other people and make them feel welcome to, you know, because
sometimes the tendency is there for us to show up on Sunday morning and we got our little
group of friends and we just go straight to that little group of friends and that's who
we're going to talk to, that's who we're going to hang out with, that's who we're going to
spend time with and that's great, you know, that you have that group of friends.
That's great that you have close friends in the church and I would never want to discourage
that, but we also need to make sure that we reach out to visitors, reach out and not just
visitors, maybe people who've been here for a month, two months, three months, but they
haven't really gotten plugged in, they don't have a lot of friends, you know, reach out
to some new people and greet every saint, greet all the saints, salute every saint in
Christ Jesus, make some new friends, get around and talk to people and you know, you can talk
to your close buddies, maybe on a Sunday night or a Wednesday night, but even on Sunday
night and Wednesday night, get around and meet some new people for crying out loud and
you know what you ought to do, you say, yeah, but I got to catch up with my friends, well
here's what you ought to do, get together with your friends outside of church, you know,
make a church a time where you say hi to your friends, but where you also get to know some
new people, right?
And then get together with your close friends outside of church, have them over to dinner,
have them over for a barbecue, go out to eat together, go out to the park and have
a picnic, you know, organize the play date with the children or whatever, you know, get
out there and socialize with God's people because that helps build a stronger Christian
life and a stronger church.
So that's the first advice I would give is to get out of your normal circle of friends
and talk to some different people.
And for those of you that are new or that are, maybe you've been coming for a few months
and you don't feel like you've got plugged in, you know, there's nothing to stop you
from approaching people and saying hi and meeting them and getting to know, you say,
well, I'm shy.
Well, you got to get over that though in life.
Everybody has strengths and weaknesses.
We all have strengths and weaknesses and you know what we ought to do, work on our weaknesses
so that we can become a better Christian.
Why don't you practice saluting everybody out there out in the world and why don't you
practice coming to church, saying hi to people, greeting people and you know, eventually it'll
become second nature.
How do you get good at playing the piano?
By playing the piano.
How do you get good at saluting people and saying hi and asking them questions about
their life and getting to know them and making friends?
You get good at it by practicing just like anything else in life.
The first time you come out of mom's basement and you see the sunlight and you get off the
internet for a little bit, you get off the social media and you actually start interacting
with human beings, it might feel a little awkward at first.
You know, you're used to just typing everything and you don't know how to do emojis and emoticons
in real life.
That's how you're used to reacting to everything.
You know, when you say LOL, it doesn't have the same effect as when you type it and so
forth.
You actually have to laugh out loud.
You know, it's a little weird at first, right?
But you gotta get out there and do it.
And you know, you might be used to just showing up at church right when it starts and just
as soon as it's over, you just bolt out of here and you're not used to knowing anybody
or saying hi to anybody.
You know, force yourself to hang around.
Grab a root beer float after the service, dads, right?
Hang around a little bit, say hi to some people, meet some people, make some friends, get out
of your shell, salute every saint in Christ Jesus.
You know what, it makes a better church.
It makes a better Christian.
And you say, oh man, I'm struggling with sin because I have so many bad friends and bad
worldly influences.
Why don't you make some Christian friends?
And you know what, you'll find yourself gravitating more toward them.
You'll find yourself having a lot more in common with the people in church than the
people out there.
Even people you never thought you'd be friends with.
Maybe people from a different background, different nationality, different demographic,
different style, but you'll find that having the Word of God in common trumps all that.
And so it's a great place to make friends.
So number one, greet people outside of your normal, usual circle of friends.
But number two, get involved in the work of the Lord.
You know what builds the best friendships?
Working together side by side.
That's what really builds a good friendship.
Better than just sitting around and talking.
Sitting around and talking has its place, but working side by side will really cause
strong friendships to be forged.
Let me give you some scripture on this.
Look at Philippians chapter 2 verse 25.
You're in chapter 4, just a couple of pages back to Philippians chapter 2 verse 25.
The Bible says, yet I supposed it necessary to send to you Epaphroditus, my brother and
companion in labor.
This is his companion, that's another word for friend, right?
Companion in labor and fellow soldier.
But you're a messenger and he'd administered to my wants.
So how is this guy his friend?
Well, because he's his companion in labor, because he's his fellow soldier.
And that's created a strong friendship.
Go over to Philemon, if you would, a little book toward the end of the New Testament.
Philemon, while you're turning there, I'll read for you 1 Thessalonians 3 verse 2.
And sent to Mothias our brother and minister of God and our fellow laborer in the gospel
of Christ to establish you and to comfort you concerning your faith.
Why were Paul and Timothy such good friends?
Because they were companions in labor, fellow laborers, fellow soldiers for the cause of
Christ.
Philemon chapter 1 verse 1, Paul, a prisoner of Jesus Christ, and Timothy our brother unto
Philemon our dearly beloved.
What's he saying?
He's saying, I love Philemon very much.
We all love Philemon very much.
He is our dearly beloved.
The word beloved just take off the B. It just means that they're loved.
So he says, my dearly beloved.
Why was Philemon such a dearly beloved to Paul?
Because look at the next words, and fellow laborer.
Because he's a fellow laborer.
Look at verse 2, and to our beloved Appiah and Archippus our fellow soldier and to the
church in thy house.
He's writing a letter to his dear friends, Philemon, Archippus, and Appiah.
And the reason they were such good friends is because they've been fellow laborers, fellow
soldiers, companions in labor.
You say, well, how do I make a companion in labor at Faith Forward Baptist Church?
Well, I'll tell you a great way, show up for soul winning.
I mean, when you show up for soul winning, you make friends.
Look, when I was a teenager, and I got into a Fundamental Baptist Church, it was a soul
winning church.
I was friends with just about everybody in that church.
And I knew everybody in the church.
And I was plugged in from day one.
Why?
Through soul winning.
Now, before that, I went to the liberal NIV Rock and Roll Church.
And I went there for a couple of years.
I was raised an Independent Fundamental Baptist, but when I was a teenager, we went through
a period where we went to a more liberal NIV type church.
And when we went to that Fun Center Church, I went there for years and never made any
friends.
I went there for two years, and I was kind of shy.
And I would sit in the youth group.
It had over 100 teenagers in the youth group.
And I sat there every week feeling awkward, feeling out of place.
And I didn't have any friends.
I never made any friends.
And eventually, after I left that church, I made friends with some people who went to
that church.
And I was like, why weren't you my friend back then?
Where were you all that time?
Because we actually did stuff together and became friends and got to know each other.
But just going to church and just sitting there in the chair, it doesn't mean you're
necessarily going to make friends.
Because I sat in that youth group for two years and didn't make a single friend.
No one talked to me.
They all talked to each other.
Now, obviously, they should have reached out to me, but I could have reached out to them.
But it's just hard when you're a teenager especially, because teenagers tend to be a
little bit shy and awkward.
As you become an adult, hopefully you work on those weaknesses and grow out of that.
Amen?
But as soon as I got into Regency Baptist Church, Fundamental Baptist Church that I
went to, I started going soul winning within a couple of weeks.
And just by going soul winning with a different person, and I went soul winning twice a week.
I went on Wednesdays and Saturdays for years.
In the process of going soul winning on Wednesdays, which is the teenage soul winning time, I
made friends with all the teenagers really fast.
And then on the Saturday soul winning, I made friends with all the adults in the church
really fast from just going soul winning.
Why?
Because you have all that time between doors.
You knock on a door, nobody's home, or you talk to them or whatever, and then you walk
to the next door.
You talk, you chat, you get to know one another.
And also you have shared experiences, interesting experiences that help build friendship.
You make memories together.
You know, Garrett and I, Brother Garrett Kirschway and I were just on the way home from the Apache
Reservation because we went soul winning on Thursday all day on the Apache Reservation
up in the White Mountains.
And on our way back, we were just reminiscing about some of our funniest soul winning experiences
that he and I had shared together.
And hey, you remember this?
Hey, that's why Garrett and I are good friends, because we went soul winning together week
after week, and we had all these funny things happen, interesting things happen.
He was reminding me.
I had said something about that I didn't think I'd ever want a devout Jew to the Lord out
soul winning because we just had a Jewish young man come to the church last Sunday morning
that got saved as a result of listening to my preaching.
And I thought that was pretty exciting because devout Jews are pretty hard to reach with
the gospel.
They're pretty unreceptive.
But this young man who was raised in a Jewish home and raised with that religion, he got
saved as a result of listening to my sermons.
But I was saying, yeah, I don't think I've ever won one to the Lord out door to door.
And Garrett said, that's not true.
You did.
And he told me the whole story.
And then it started coming back to me a little bit.
I'm like, oh, yeah.
But it was like, what, eight years ago or something.
You know, and then it's like, hey, you remember that one time you were given the gospel to
that guy, and he just passed out and hit his head on the stairs and everything.
And we had to, you know, call 911 and everything, you know, just weird stuff that happened.
Hey, remember when we tried to give the gospel to that teenager and he ran away and jumped
over a wall or, you know, hey, just little interesting things that happened, just funny
things that people said to us or just weird, you know, you ask somebody, hey, do you know
for sure if you're going to heaven?
Oh, yeah.
Well, how do you know you're going?
Oh, I've rescued 12 cats and I've, you know, and they start telling you all these really
weird answers.
And so, you know, I mean, there's just a lot of interesting things that happen, just funny
things that happen.
Man, I had the weirdest thing happen.
Let me tell you a story.
I had the weirdest thing happen.
I was out soul winning on the Apache reservation in San Carlos Apache reservation.
I knock on a guy's door and it was like he live in like a shack, just a little tiny shack.
So I knocked on the door and he come to the door with no shirt on.
And, you know, so I asked him if I could present the gospel to him.
I told him I'm from faith for Baptist Church.
Do you know for sure you're going to heaven?
He didn't know.
So I asked him, hey, can I just take about five, 10 minutes and just go through that
with you from the Bible?
And he said, OK, just a minute.
Let me put a shirt on.
Right.
So he goes back indoors, shuts the door.
And I hear talking inside, which was kind of weird because the guy was by himself.
This just happened a few weeks ago.
So I'm thinking like, what's going on in there?
Next thing I know, an old lady walks over from next door and she says, oh, hey, my son
just called and he said he's busy right now and he doesn't have time to talk.
And I'm thinking like, what in the world?
I mean, you don't even have the boldness.
You don't even have the guts to just tell me, no, thank you.
I'm not interested.
Mom, what do I do?
You know, somebody's at the door trying to give me the gospel, what do I do?
I mean, is that weird?
I mean, weird stuff happens out solely.
And look, that's what happens when you get that awkward and shy, folks.
Work on those weaknesses, all right?
You don't want to be that guy.
So you know, and look, my kids are constantly coming to me telling me, hey, dad, remember
when this happened out solely?
Hey, dad, remember that guy?
Hey, dad, remember this?
And it builds memories.
It builds relationships.
It builds a strong bond between you and your children and between you and your friends,
you and the people you go soul-winning with.
Soul-winning is great because you're working for the Lord and you can also be refreshed
with some fellowship with your brothers and sisters in Christ.
Even if you're in an unreceptive area, don't get a bad attitude.
That's just more chit-chat time for you and your buddy if it's a bad area for soul-winning.
And if it's a good area and people are getting saved, so much the better.
You're sharing that experience together.
Fellow laborers, companions in labor, fellow laborers, fellow soldiers, that's what builds
a strong friendship right there.
You know, working together, doing something together, accomplishing something together.
And so soul-winning can do that for you.
And look, even if you've never been soul-winning, all you have to do is just be a silent partner.
You don't have to do any of the talking.
You know, you do have to talk to your partner, you know.
But I'm saying you don't have to preach at the door.
You know, there have been plenty of people who are a silent partner for many months before
they talk.
And here's the thing, nobody's ever pressured to start doing the talking.
At least they shouldn't be.
You know, you can be a silent partner as long as you want because you know what, I promise
you, eventually you'll want to do the talking.
Eventually you'll say, all right, let me get the next door.
Nobody needs to push you or prompt you to do that.
And so going out soul-winning is easy.
And you say, well, it's not convenient for me.
We have 11 different soul-winning times, seven days a week.
So it doesn't matter what your day off is, doesn't matter what your schedule's like,
I guarantee you something fits your schedule.
And you say, well, you know, I don't have three hours to go with the big group on Sunday.
Okay, do you have one hour to go on Wednesday night?
You have one hour to go on Monday night, Tuesday night?
I mean, there are a lot of one-hour times, there are two-hour times, three-hour times.
You know, to fit whatever you say, yeah, it's too hot out.
You know where it's really hot is in hell.
And we want to get people out of hell, we want to rescue people from hell.
And, you know, you live in Arizona, folks.
You need to just come to grips with that.
This is it, welcome to Arizona.
You need to learn to adapt to the hot weather and love it and enjoy it.
Don't just be like, I'm just going to honk her down for the next three months.
No, no, no.
You need to get out there and just breathe in that hot air, ah, I love it.
And there are some good things about it, right?
I mean, right?
Go swimming, the water is nice, right?
Get out there and feel that at least you're not getting sick all the time,
at least you're not shoveling snow.
You know, and the sweating is probably really good for you.
It's probably cleaning out your pores and detox and everything like that, okay?
There's a lot of reasons why it's good.
So don't just honk her down, I can't go swimming, it's too hot.
Well then go to an evening soul winning time and stay in the shade as much as you can.
Put on a big hat.
Or you say, well it's still too hot for me.
Okay, take one of these trips with us up to the White Mountains because it's 20 degrees
cooler there.
All of our Indian Reservation trips that we're taking once a week over the summer are all
to cooler climates.
We're going to the Navajo Reservation and we're going to the White Mountain Apaches
and the Hopi Reservation because we're going north, right?
And we'll save the Tohono O'odham Desert Reservation for the winter time, okay?
So that gives you a chance to beat the heat a little bit.
And you know what?
You just might even make some friends on that trip.
You might even make some friends in the church van or in the church vehicle.
And you might make some friends out soul winning and I guarantee you that the people who go
soul winning in this church all have friends.
You say, how do I get in the inner circle?
Do some work.
Go soul winning, right?
Get involved.
Don't be a spectator, be a participant.
You'll make some friends.
You'll get to know people.
And so those are the two best ways.
Greet people outside your normal circle and also become a laborer, become a worker, become
a companion in labor and get out, do some soul winning and that's where you're going
to make some friends.
And then thirdly this, you know, build friendships in the church.
I think it's great that people in our church have a lot of good friendships with one another.
I think more than any church I've ever seen probably because this is a working church.
But I see all the friendships and the get togethers and the play dates and the dinners
and the barbecues and the parties and everything like that, you know, that's great.
It's great to get together with people outside of church and spend some time just being refreshed.
You know, there are times that we work together as a church which is great and that builds
a bond but then there's also times to just be refreshed together and to just enjoy some
fellowship and just enjoy some relaxation together and take a day off together and get
to know people.
Friendship is pretty important and remember the title of the sermon was this, The Importance
of Our Friends.
It can make or break us.
And I guarantee you that there are a lot of people in this church that are a lot more
spiritual than they would have been if they hadn't have gotten some spiritual friends.
I guarantee, look, myself included, getting around spiritual people.
It makes you spiritual and you help each other.
Without this church, you and I would not be doing the works that we're doing.
We do it as a result of helping each other, egging each other on, motivating each other
and edifying one another.
That's what causes us to be effective and so it's very important because the bad friends
will do the exact opposite for you.
They'll get you to do sins that you never even would have thought you'd do but you'll
get caught up with your friends and hanging around with the wrong people and next thing
you know, you're committing all kinds of bad sins.
Let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer.