there in verse number 11 where the Bible reads, these things command and teach, let no man
despise thy youth, but be thou an example of the believers in word, in conversation,
in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.
And what I want to preach about this morning is the subject of teaching by example.
Teaching by example.
He said in verse 11, these things command and teach, that would be verbally instructing
others in what they should be doing.
But then he follows that up with a statement of, let no man despise thy youth, but be thou
an example of the believers.
And many things in life are even taught better by example than just by giving instructions.
Some people have said, do as I say, not as I do.
But that's not really how things work.
In fact, people learn more from your example than your words in many cases.
Now if you would flip over to Titus, just a few pages to the right in your Bible.
Titus chapter number two.
And while you're turning there, let me just show you, I'll just quote for you a couple
of scriptures about Jesus being our example.
John 13, 15 says, for I have given you an example that ye should do as I have done to
you.
And then Jesus also is mentioned in 1 Peter 2, 21 when it says, for even here unto were
ye called, because Christ also hath suffered for us, leaving us an example that ye should
follow his steps.
Look at Titus 2 verse 6, it says, young men likewise exhort to be sober minded in all
things, showing thyself a pattern.
He's saying, be an example, be a pattern that other people can follow.
Showing thyself a pattern of good works in doctrine showing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity.
Now what does the word doctrine mean?
It means teaching.
And so we see these things are hand in hand.
He says, teach the word of God, use doctrine, but also be a pattern, also be an example.
In Acts chapter one, if you want to flip over there, it speaks of Christ again in this way.
When it says in verse one, the former treatise have I made, O Theophilus, and look at the
end of verse one there of Acts chapter one, of all that Jesus began both to do and teach.
He's not just talking about it, but he's doing it.
He's doing it and teaching it.
And then you don't have to turn there, but also in Matthew chapter 10, Jesus gives this
big long teaching to his disciples about going out and preaching the gospel in the villages,
and he sends them out with a message to preach.
And then it says in verse one of chapter 11, and it came to pass, when Jesus had made an
end of commanding his 12 disciples, he departed thence to teach and to preach in their cities.
So notice, he finishes instructing them on going out and teaching and preaching in all
these villages, and then he turns around and goes and does what he just told them to do.
So he's showing them an example.
First he tells them how to do it, and then he says, let me show you how to do it.
And he sets the example.
We teach things best when we set the example and when we do what we're telling other people
to do, and when we are the first in line to do those things ourself.
I'll just read for you these verses.
You don't have to turn there.
If you would, flip over to 1 Samuel chapter 2.
But while you're turning there, I'll read you some scriptures, Philippians 3.17.
Paul said, brethren, be followers together of me and mark them which walk, so as ye have
us for an ensemble.
And then Paul told the church at Thessalonica, he said, you were examples to all that believe
in Macedonia and Achaia.
Paul said, not because we have not power, but to make ourselves an ensemble unto you
to follow us.
1 Peter 5, speaking to the pastor, says, neither is being lords over God's heritage, but being
in samples to the flock.
So over and over again, God is telling people to lead by example.
And this isn't just about pastors.
This is about parents.
This is about on the job, if you're the manager at your job.
Any position of leadership, no matter what it is, you should lead by example, and you'll
have better results and more people will follow you when you set the example.
And when you're not a hypocrite who tells other people to do something, and like the
Pharisees who said, you know, they bound heavy burdens that were grievous to be born, and
it says they wouldn't even touch them with one of their little fingers.
So Jesus accused the Pharisees of teaching all these really strict rules and then just
living however they want, not even trying to follow the rules that they were imposing
upon other people.
That's why they were a failure of leadership, okay?
How are we going to be a great father, mother, manager, pastor, parent, whatever the case
may be?
We're going to do it by being an example.
You know, I was just thinking of so many examples of this that I've seen in my own life just
with my children, because we're constantly telling our children to do things or to not
do things.
But I've noticed that the children follow examples much more than any command that you'll
ever give them.
And it shouldn't surprise us, because all the way from Genesis 1, the Bible is teaching
us that things bring forth after their own kind.
And so your children are going to grow up and be like you, whether you like it or not.
That's what's probably going to happen, that they're going to grow up and act like you.
And you can tell them, you know, don't smoke, kids.
You know, you don't want to end up like me.
Don't smoke.
But you know what they're going to do?
They're going to grow up and smoke, because you smoke.
Because they're going to follow the example more than they follow your words.
And we could use all kinds of examples of things like that with children.
I was just thinking of the example of my son Solomon, who plays the organ.
And he practices all the time.
But for a long time, we had trouble getting him to practice.
We'd go, Solomon, practice your piano.
Solomon, practice your piano.
Keep tone to practice.
He's not practicing.
But then I went through a phase where I decided, you know what, I want to get better at playing
piano.
And I want to brush up my piano skills.
And so I went through a phase where I started just playing about two hours a day and just
really doing a lot of practice.
And all of a sudden, my son Solomon wanted to practice piano.
And we didn't even have to tell him to do it.
He was just like, Dad, when are you going to be done?
I need to play now.
You know, and then it becomes fighting over the piano.
Why?
If that's what children respond to more than just being told, hey, do this.
When you do it and they see Dad doing it, they say, well, I'm going to do the same thing.
If Dad's going to practice, I'm going to practice.
And he started playing for hours a day because he saw Dad doing it.
You know, another example is with running.
Think about this.
I grew up and I always hated running my whole life until I was almost 30.
And I just remember that everybody in school all hated running.
When you're in PE class, what's the punishment?
Take a lap.
Oh, man.
You know, it wasn't something that's like, yes, we get to do another lap.
Everybody hated it.
Nobody liked it.
I cannot remember a single kid.
I'm sure there were kids that did.
But I'm just saying, I cannot remember a single kid in Christian school that liked to run
and that enjoyed the running part of PE or the running part of basketball practice and
things like that.
But they're being told, run, run, run every day, every day.
Don't want to run.
You know, what's funny is that I run all the time now because I like it.
And my children beg me to go running every day.
Every single day, my kids beg, Dad, take us running.
Dad, we want to go running.
I'm like, no, I'm not running right now.
I'm busy.
I'm working.
You know, Dad, we want to run.
We want to run.
And they're like, no, we don't want to go one mile.
We want to go two miles.
We want to go three miles.
Let's go four miles.
I'm not kidding.
My kids begged me to go running.
You could ask them after the service.
I mean, they love to run.
Why?
Is it because I forced them to run?
No.
Is it because I give them chocolate peanut butter cups when they run?
Maybe.
That might be part of it.
But no, honestly, they love running.
And it is simply because they just see me running all the time.
And it's just natural for them to want to be like Dad.
So they see Dad running.
Hey, let's go running.
Let's do it.
Why?
Because they're learning from example.
And you can tell them to do this and do that till you're blue in the face.
But you know what's a lot more powerful?
When they see you doing it and you say, well, piano, running, OK, how about reading your
Bible?
What's more powerful?
Just telling the kids to read their Bible every day?
Or when they see you, pull out the Bible and start reading it?
I heard my whole life.
Read your Bible.
Read the Bible.
You've got to read the Bible every day.
I heard that in Christian school.
I heard that in church.
That doesn't mean that I always did it when I was growing up.
But I remember when I would stay up at my grandparents' house, my grandmother would
get up every morning and have her cup of coffee and have her Bible and did that ritual
every morning.
And I remember when I was up there, I always wanted to wake up early and go there and sit
next to her and read the Bible next to her.
Because that example is more powerful sometimes than just words.
Now I'm not saying that we shouldn't command and teach.
The Bible says we should command and teach.
The Bible says that Jesus both did and taught.
And that's what we need both.
We need clear commands to our followers, to our children, to our employees, whatever.
But we need to set the example and show them how it's done.
That is effective leadership.
Now let me show you a negative example of this in 1 Samuel where we see the children
following the example of the parent, not listening to the parent's words, but rather following
the example.
Look what the Bible says in 1 Samuel chapter 2, 12.
It says, Now the sons of Eli were sons of Belial.
And Belial is another name for the devil, Satan, Baal, Belial, Beelzebub.
These are all the same person.
And so it says, Now the sons of Eli were sons of Belial.
They knew not the Lord.
And the priest's custom with the people was that when any man offered sacrifice, the priest's
servant came while the flesh was in seething, seething means boiling, with a flesh hook
of three teeth in his hand.
When he struck it into the pan, or kettle, or cauldron, or pot, all that the flesh hook
brought up the priest took for himself.
So they did in Shiloh unto all the Israelites that came thither.
Also before they burnt the fat, the priest's servant came and said to the man that sacrificed,
Give flesh to roast for the priest, for he will not have sodden flesh of thee but raw.
And if any man said unto him, Let them not fail to burn the fat presently, and then take
as much as thy soul desireth, then he would answer him, Nay, but thou shalt give it me
now, and if not, I'll take it by force.
Wherefore the sin of the young men was very great before the Lord, for men abhorred the
offering of the Lord.
So let me just break this down to you, what's going on in this story.
They're supposed to bring an animal sacrifice under the tabernacle, and Eli is the high
priest and his sons are also the priests, and they're supposed to burn the fat unto
the Lord.
And God gave these really clear instructions in the book of Leviticus about which parts
of the animal they were supposed to eat, and which part were supposed to be burned
unto the Lord on the altar, and the sweet smelling savor, and there is chapter after
chapter in Leviticus making this very clear.
What's the priest's job back in the days of the judges, in the days of Eli?
He's supposed to be following the word of God, and he's supposed to be honoring that
law, and what these men are doing is, they wanted to take more than what God had provided
for them, and they wanted to take all the certain parts of the fat that God had said
to burn off, they wanted to just eat that, okay, because these men were gluttonous men.
And so people noticed what was going on, and a lot of people are thinking, you know what,
this isn't consistent with what the word of God teaches, and they would just shut these
guys down by saying, you know what, if you won't give it to me, and remember this is
something that belongs to the Lord, if you won't give it to me, I'll take it by force.
So then it says, men abhorred the offering of the Lord.
People started having a bad attitude about bringing that animal sacrifice down there,
because they're thinking to themselves, you know what, I'm supposedly bringing this to
the Lord, but it's just going into these guys' bellies who are gluttonous men, and they're
stealing and so forth.
So that's what was going on, and it was a great sin, because of the fact that it caused
people to have a bad attitude about the house of God, when they saw this blatant disregard
for God's word, and this lust of the flesh being indulged.
Now look what it says in verse 22, jump down to verse 22.
Now Eli was very old, and heard all that his sons did unto all Israel, and how they lay
with the women that assembled at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation.
So not only are these men taking parts of the offering that were not allotted unto them,
but they're also lying with the woman that assembled at the door of the tabernacle.
So they're committing fornication, they're basically sleeping around, they're whoremongers
as the Bible would call them.
And he said unto them, why do ye such things?
Why are you doing this?
For I hear of your evil dealings by all these people, nay my sons, for it is no good report
that I hear, you make the Lord's people to transgress.
So you know this weak man, who cannot control his household, who will not stop this sin
from going on, he verbally corrects it, weakly, but why is it that his sons don't listen to
him and why are his sons involved in these sins in the first place?
Well let's keep reading.
If one man sin against another, the judge shall judge him.
But if a man sin against the Lord, who shall entreat for him?
Notwithstanding they hearken not unto the voice of their father, because the Lord would
slay them.
Now when the Bible, let me just point that out real quick.
When the Bible says the Lord would slay them, which means the Lord wanted to kill them,
the Lord wanted to slay them, I don't want you to misunderstand that, because a lot of
people will derive false doctrine from something like this and just say, oh well it's just
God's will for some people to be bad and for God to punish them, like a Calvinistic, you
know, God chooses some to be good, some to be bad, some to be saved, some to be unsaved.
What's really going on here is that people get to a point where they've pushed God so
far that he's through with them.
That's what's really going on.
And the sons of Belial, sons of the devil, reprobates, or whatever you want to call them
in the Bible, are people who've crossed that line with God.
Okay, and that's what's going on here.
It's sort of like where Pharaoh hardened his heart.
Moses stood before Pharaoh and said, thus saith the Lord God of Israel, let my people
go.
And what did Pharaoh say?
Well who is the Lord?
You know, I'm not going to let the people go.
And it says that Pharaoh hardened his heart.
But then later in the story, what does it say?
God hardened Pharaoh's heart.
Because it gets to a point where God will harden somebody's heart.
But it's only after they've already turned away from the Lord and rejected the truth.
It's not that God just damns people without even giving them a chance.
The Bible says that the Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count
slackness, but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that
all should come to repentance.
And a lot of people would look at this and say, well if the Lord's not willing that any
should perish, and if the Lord wants everybody to repent, you know, why doesn't he want these
guys to repent?
Because these guys have crossed the line, they've pushed it too far, and now it's to
the point where God just wants to kill them.
He's just done with these guys.
And that should be a chilling warning to us, and there are lots of stories like this in
the Bible.
This is not an isolated scripture.
It should be a warning to us not to push God too far.
Now, first of all, if you're not saved, you know, that's where you're in danger of becoming
a son of Belial.
Now, obviously once we're saved, we can never lose our salvation, and we have eternal life,
and we shall never perish.
But even as God's children though, we can incur great punishments, and great chastisements
from the Lord.
And the Bible says that the Lord will judge his people.
And so we need to beware of God's wrath, even on us as his children, in the form of chastisement,
punishment, discipline, just as our children sometimes incur our wrath and receive great
discipline.
Okay.
But we need to realize that God is not just up in heaven with an anything goes type of
an attitude.
I mean, he'll get sick of people, and he'll deal with them, and that's what we see throughout
the Bible.
So it says that, you know, they wouldn't hearken because the Lord would slay them.
So God has clearly hardened their hearts, which is consistent with the fact that the
Bible told us that they were sons of Belial.
It says in verse 26, and the child Samuel grew on and was in favor both with the Lord
and with all men.
And there came a man of God unto Eli and said unto him, Thus saith the Lord, Did I plainly
appear unto the house of thy father when they were in Egypt and Pharaoh's house?
And did I choose him out of all the tribes of Israel to be my priest, to offer upon mine
altar, to burn incense, to wear an ephod before me?
And did I give unto the house of thy father all the offerings made by fire of the children
of Israel?
Wherefore, kick ye at my sacrifice and at mine offering, which I have commanded in my
habitation, watch this, and honorest thy sons above me to make yourselves fat with the chiefest
of the offerings of Israel my people.
Now right there, notice that Eli is lumped in with this group.
He doesn't just say, well, you're allowing your sons to do this.
He says, no, you've put your sons above me.
You've honored your sons above me.
And by the way, Jesus said, he that love a son or daughter more than me is not worthy
of me.
But he says to Eli, you know, you've put your sons above me.
You've honored your sons above me.
And he said, you, all of you, including Eli, have made yourselves fat with the chiefest
of all the offerings of Israel my people.
Okay.
Now, what I see there is that Eli is rebuking his sons about the sin that they're committing
by, you know, stealing from the offering and committing fornication.
But notice, he doesn't mind sitting at the table and chowing down on what they've stolen.
You know, he's receiving stolen property, as it were, because he says, oh, guys, don't
do that, guys.
Don't steal that stuff.
Man, that smells good.
You know, let's load it up past the gravy.
And he is literally, you know, participating in the sin himself.
So what we see in this story is that Eli is telling him, kids, don't do that, but what
are they looking at Eli actually doing?
Participating in it himself.
And the proof of this is that a little bit later, when Eli dies, it tells us Eli was
a very heavy man, which makes sense in light of the story.
How did he get that way?
Well, by stealing this stuff, you know, that was supposed to be for the Lord.
And it was the fat, you know, above the liver and all the different things that God had
said were off limits unto them.
And so we see here a guy who is failing as a parent, not because he's not preaching the
word of God to his kids, but because of the fact that he's setting a bad example.
And he is failing in his own personal life, and they're looking at dad, and they're following
the example, not following the words that are coming out of his mouth.
And you know, Eli, we don't have any record of him committing fornication or of committing
any sins in that regard, but we see that the children have taken it to a whole new level.
You know, Eli is committing one sin, they're taking it to the next level.
And that's often what will happen with our children.
You know, we have a certain sin in our life, and I've often said that what the parents
do in moderation, the children will do in excess.
And so we need to be careful not to set a sinful example for our children, because a
lot of people in the Bible committed sin, and then their children took it to a whole
new level.
You know, Eli is gratifying the lust of the flesh through gluttony, and then his kids
just expand the gluttony and add to it the sin of fornication, gratifying another lust
of the flesh.
You think about David having multiple wives, but at least you could count him on a couple
of hands, you know.
But then his son Solomon, what's he do?
He's a wife.
Because of the fact that he sees dad do it, why not?
And they take it even further.
And so you need to be careful what kind of example you're setting for your children.
You know, as the saying goes, your walk talks and your talk talks, but your walk talks louder
than your talk talks.
Right?
So say that five times fast.
Also turn to Esther chapter number one, Esther chapter number one.
And this is a sermon that can be put into practice in pretty much every single person's
life, because virtually everyone is a leader.
You might think that you're not a leader whatsoever, but I guarantee you somebody is probably following
you, or at least someday will follow you.
You say, well, I'm just a child, but your younger siblings look to you as a leader.
When you're an older brother and older sister, you are setting a pattern, you're setting
an example, and no matter what you tell your younger siblings, they're more likely to follow
your actions and your deeds than to follow your words.
Okay?
As a parent, obviously, you're a leader.
Even if you're just a person in the church and you don't even have any family in the
church or anybody that's younger than you that's looking to you, other church members
may be looking to you.
And you think, oh, nobody would ever look to me, but you'd be surprised who kids choose.
Kids will just choose a certain person in the church and say, wow, that guy's really
cool or, you know, that woman is a wonderful lady.
And they'll just look to that person and want to be like that person.
And it's inexplicable to us sometimes as parents, like, why, you know, why do you want to be
like them?
No, I'm just kidding.
Anyway, they look to certain people and just, that's their hero for whatever reason.
And so you need to be an example of good works.
Yes, command and teach, but be an example.
You know, when you go to work and you just set all these grievous burdens upon your employees
and then you just kind of sit back and just let everything get done, that's not great
leadership.
What's better is when you get down in the trenches and you work with people and you
show people how to do it and you set the example, you know, you want people to be on
time so you show up and be on time.
You know, you want people to go to church, then, you know, you be faithful to church.
You know, if you want people to, you know, tuck in their shirt on the job or whatever,
the rules, you know, then you do that and you're going to be more likely to have people
follow you and obey the commands when they see the example because the example is more
powerful than the command.
That's one of the reasons why I have rarely, in the last nine years that I've been pastoring,
why I virtually never am gone on a Sunday morning, Sunday night, or Wednesday night.
I mean, it happens, obviously, but it's been extremely rare.
I've been gone, you know, for a couple of child births.
Some of them I didn't even miss church because it was just, you know, my wife was able to
schedule it for me, you know, between services.
But, you know, there were a couple of births that conflicted with services, and so I missed
a service for one of my children being born.
I went to Europe a couple times where it's just impossible to go to Europe and back,
you know, and make it back for church.
It doesn't really work.
So I've done that like twice in the whole last nine years, but, you know, I never missed
it for work, and I have only missed it for sickness a few times because, obviously, that's
an act of God.
I can't really control that.
So I've missed it very rarely.
Now, I've had people invite me to preach.
Not very often, admittedly, but the invitations are not pouring in, okay?
But I've had people invite me to preach on a Sunday somewhere or on a Wednesday somewhere,
and I always tell people when they invite me to preach, I say, listen, I'd love to come
preach for you, but it must be on a weeknight.
It cannot be on a Wednesday night, and it cannot be on a Sunday morning or Sunday night
because I don't want to miss my church to go preach at your church.
I'd rather preach in my own pulpit.
And so I will preach other places rarely, occasionally, when somebody actually is crazy
enough to invite me in as a guest speaker, then I'll do that on like a Thursday night
or a Friday night.
But I'm not going to do that on a Wednesday or a Sunday just because of the fact that
it's been very important to me over the last nine years to set an example of making church
important and taking it seriously and being here all the time.
And I think that that speaks louder than if I just got up here and just said, Sunday morning,
Sunday night, Wednesday night, you need to be here.
The doors are open, be there.
Now look, I've said that sometimes, but you know what, I've said that very rarely.
Very rarely.
And in fact, I've even often said, I've even often said, you know what, there's no place
in the Bible that commands you to be at all three services, but you know what?
I'm going to be at all three services because I want to get as much church as I can, and
the Bible says that we should not forsake the assembling of ourselves together as the
manner of some is, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as we see the day approaching.
So we don't need less church, we need more church.
You know, and I want my family to be in church three times a week, hearing the Word of God
three times a week, singing the hymns three times a week, and I've even gotten up many
times and said, you know what, if you, you know, do I have to go to church on Sunday
night or Wednesday night?
I even tell people you don't even have to come on Sunday morning.
Come three times a month for all I care, but you know what, I'm coming three times a week.
And I made that decision a long time ago, and I made that decision before I even started
pastoring, and I was coming three to thrive, Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday, because
here's what they say, you know, three to thrive, two to survive, one to backslide.
That's what I've heard.
So, you know, three to thrive, you know, I want to be here at all three.
But here's the thing, I've not emphasized that or gotten up and said, if you don't come
to all three, you're not right with God, because, you know, I'm not going to teach for doctrines
the commandments of men.
You know, what does the Bible teach?
Well, the Bible teach that we should not forsake the assembly.
The Bible teaches that we should go to church.
You know, the Bible doesn't specify, hey, you must go three times a week, or hey, you
must go two times a week.
You know, I think going, it'd be pretty hard to justify, I think, coming less than once
a week.
But you know what?
I want to come three times.
I'm not trying to see how little I can come, and God won't just get angry at me.
I like church.
Who likes church?
Yeah, I like church.
I enjoy the preaching.
I like the singing.
I like to see God's people and fellowship.
And you know what?
I notice, I notice a spiritual deterioration when I'm not in church because of sickness
or whatever the reason, or just throughout my life.
The longest I've ever gone without church in my entire life was 20 days.
One time I got very sick as a teenager, and I was at a church for, it was 20 days between
church services.
And I hated it.
I just felt like, man, I need to go to church.
Something's wrong here.
I need to be in church.
Church is encouraging.
Church is helpful.
Church is profitable.
You learn things at church.
So look, why is it, now with all that being said, even though I haven't made a big deal
about that, why is it that our church has a way higher percentage of people who come
back Sunday night and Wednesday night than most Baptist churches?
If we went to the typical Baptist church, we have 80% of, 80% of our people will be
back tonight.
80% of our people will be back on Wednesday night.
You know, because if we run, if we run 140 on Sunday morning, we run 110 at night, 110
on Wednesday night.
That's about what we've been having lately.
Okay.
Why is that?
Why do 80% of people come back?
Here's why.
Because of the example.
Because of the fact that they see other people doing it.
And it's not just me setting the example, but they see all the people around them coming
to church Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night.
They see a culture in our church that says we like church.
We look forward to church.
We enjoy church.
We go three times.
And they see the pastors going three times.
And then they see me sometimes even move mountains, so to speak, to make sure I'm here on a Wednesday
night and not miss it.
Be there on a Wednesday night.
And then they see other people making it a priority.
And you know what it does?
It sets the example.
And that's why there are so many people.
You know, why are there so many people who go soul winning at our church?
Because of the fact that they see other people go soul winning.
And then it becomes exponential.
It compounds.
They want to get in on the action.
You know, it's funny because, you know, you talk to other pastors and sometimes they won't
have a lot of people going soul winning.
And I always tell them this.
I say, look.
I say, you'll go from having barely anybody soul winning to a ton of people soul winning.
There's like nothing in between.
Because what happens is, you know, at first it's just the pastor going and maybe one or
two people, three, four people.
And then what happens is all of a sudden a few other people start going.
And then it's like a snowball effect.
And then I've told other pastors too that sometimes they said, wow, I just have so many
silent partners and very few talkers when we go out soul winning.
And I, you know, I always say to them, watch, you'll get, you'll go from like no talkers
to just everybody's talking.
Why?
Because here's the thing.
A lot of people, if it's just the pastor talking, then they think like, oh, well, that's the
pastor.
You know, he can do it because he's the pastor.
But when you get a whole bunch of people that are talkers, here's what people will think.
Well, if he can do it, I can do it.
You know, if she can do it, I can do it.
Because they feel like, okay, these are just people in the pew.
These are lay people like myself.
And look out, they're doing the soul.
I can do this too.
I'm trying to give it a shot.
Look, you're leading people by example, even if you're not the pastor, even just by being
a church member who shows up all the time, who shows up to church on time, who shows
up to church all the time, who goes soul winning, who's happy and excited about the things of
God and reading their Bible and talking about the Bible and talking about things about that
sets an example and is more powerful than any command that could ever be given.
That example.
You know, God has a lot of commandments in the Bible, doesn't he?
But he also showed up in human flesh and took upon him the form of a servant and followed
all the laws that he expects us to obey.
Isn't that interesting?
I mean, God expects us to obey all these laws.
So what did he do?
Just sit back and say, well, do as I say, not as I do.
I'm God.
I can do whatever I want.
No, he came down here and took on the form of a man and he showed us how to do it.
And he left us a pattern and an example that we could follow in his steps and he was tempted
in all points, like as we are, yet without sin.
He's a pattern for us.
He's an example for us.
And so we see over and over again in the Bible and in our own lives how powerful examples
are versus just telling people what to do.
And there is a time and a place to tell people what to do, but you also need to set that
example.
Now in Esther we see another story about basically a wife rebelling against her husband.
This is the story of Queen Vashti and King Ahasuerus.
It says in verse 9, also Vashti the queen made a feast for the women in the royal house
which belonged to King Ahasuerus.
So let me just bring you up to speed in the story.
King Ahasuerus is the most powerful man in the world.
He is the leader of a gigantic kingdom that spans 127 provinces from Ethiopia to India.
This is just a huge realm of the civilized world at that time.
And King Ahasuerus is throwing a great banquet, a great celebration.
Well his wife decides to kind of do her own thing.
She's going to do her own, she's going to make her own feast, you know, kind of a competing
activity on the same day at the same time.
She's going to have her own feast for the women.
And it's funny because it just kind of brings up the fact, you know, she's doing it in the
house that belonged to King Ahasuerus.
You know, her own little program that's going on.
Well so what happens?
The king wants her to be a part of his feast.
And he wants her to come over, she's very beautiful.
He wants her to put on the royal apparel and have the crown and everything.
And he wants to show off his queen at this event.
He doesn't want to be going solo to this giant feast that he's put on.
He wants his wife at his side, which is pretty normal and pretty reasonable.
And she just refuses to come.
No.
I got my own little tea party going on or my own little, you know, brunch, coffee klatch
or whatever she had going on, you know.
I'm busy, you know.
So he doesn't know what to do.
It says here, you know, that they were commanded, verse 11, to bring Vashti the queen before
the king with the crown royal to show the people and the princess her beauty for she
was fair to look on.
But the queen Vashti, verse 12, refused to come at the king's commandment by his chamberlains.
Therefore was the king very wroth and his anger burned in him.
I mean this guy's mad.
And now look, I'm not saying this guy was a great husband.
I'm not saying he was a great leader.
You know, I did a whole sermon on this when I was preaching through Esther where I went
into a lot more detail.
But you know what?
He is the boss.
And obviously the Bible does command wives to submit and obey to their husbands.
It doesn't say that, you know, if they're a great husband, if you like what they're
doing and what they're saying.
No.
It just says that wives are supposed to submit unto their own husbands as unto the Lord.
Wives to be obedient unto their own husband.
So this woman is rebelling against her husband.
And the king's angry.
He's infuriated.
His wrath is kindled.
Here I am, the most powerful man in the world.
I mean he snaps his fingers and all kinds of people are snapping to attention, generals
and governors and princes and kings that are under his power.
And then his wife won't obey him.
It's embarrassment.
It's humiliating.
It's infuriating.
This woman is defi- I mean he's defied and conquered the armies of the world.
But his wife is one that he cannot conquer, okay?
So this guy's enraged.
He's angry.
He's very rough.
His anger burned in him.
Verse 13.
Then the king said to the wise men, which knew the times, for so was the king's manner
toward all that knew law and judgment.
And the next unto him was Karshina, Shethar, Admaitha, Tarshish, Meres, Marcina, and Mimucan,
the seven princes of Persia and Media, which saw the king's face and which sat first in
the kingdom.
He says, okay, I need to bring seven of my most trusted advisors to bring this rebellious
province into subjection.
My wife.
Okay?
So he brings these seven counselors in.
You know, what do I do?
How do I handle this?
And it says in verse number 15, what shall we do unto the queen Vashti according to the
law because she hath not performed the commandment of the king Ahasuerus by the chamberlains?
And Mimucan answered before the king and the princes.
Vashti the queen hath not done wrong to the king only, but also to the princes and to
all the people that are in the provinces of the king Ahasuerus.
For this deed of the queen shall come abroad unto all women, so that they shall despise
their husbands in their eyes, when it shall be reported.
The king Ahasuerus commanded Vashti the queen to be brought in before him, but she came
not.
Likewise shall the ladies of Persia and Media say this day unto all the king's princes,
which have heard of the deed of the queen, thus shall there arise too much contempt and
wrath.
Now, what is it?
What are they saying?
Look, king Ahasuerus, it's not just an issue about you and your wife.
It's not just about you having strife with your wife.
What it has to do with is that you are the leader of the world here in a sense, and everybody's
looking to you, and if they see your wife rebel against you and get away with it, basically
all the wives in your whole kingdom from Ethiopia to India are going to be rebelling
against their husbands, and disdaining their husbands, and have no respect for their husbands.
It's going to be a women's lib movement throughout the whole world, and it's going to be thousands
of years early.
It's going to be like 2,500 years early.
That's not supposed to happen until the idiots of the 20th century allow it to happen.
We're not that stupid.
We're not Billy Sunday.
We actually are smart enough to nip this thing in the bud.
What am I saying here is that people that are leaders, people are following their example.
They're looking to them, and they see what they ... Look how throughout history, let's
say the president's ... Well, not this president's wife.
I don't think anybody wants to dress and look like her, but other people will look to the
president's wife throughout history, the first lady, and you'll look through history where
first ladies have set trends, where they wore a certain hat, or wore a certain dress, Jackie
O, or whoever, Jackie Kennedy, but even if you go back further, and when you read the
history of presidents in the 1800s, their wives would wear a certain dress, or wear
a certain hat, or a certain style, and that just became the style, and they followed that
example.
Why?
Because they're celebrities.
They're important people, and what they do, other people follow their lead.
You have to ask yourself, what kind of example are you setting for your children, because
you're the king to them.
You're one that they look to.
What kind of example are you setting to other people in this church?
What kind of example do you set on the job?
As a pastor, what kind of example am I setting?
What kind of example are you setting as a father or a mother?
Because it speaks much louder than your words.
Actions speak louder than words.
On this particular subject of the wife obeying the husband, think about this now.
What do you think's more powerful for a woman to do?
To say to her children, children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Now that needs to be said.
Amen.
That needs to be taught.
But how about this?
A wife that obeys her husband, what's she doing?
Setting an example of obedience.
And shall I submit to you that the wife who obeys her husband, I'll bet you her children
will be more obedient to her.
Because they see her obeying her authority, they see her being respectful to her husband,
and what are they going to do?
They're going to then be respectful to their mother.
Because they're following the example much more powerful than just, you need to obey.
You need to obey your parents.
God said to fear your father and mother.
No, set the example by being in obedience.
And you know what?
If they see both of their parents in obedience to God, then that also helps them to see the
need to obey their father and mother.
These are powerful examples that are said.
How about the opposite?
The wife who argues with everything that comes out of her husband's mouth, and then she's
just shocked.
I don't understand why the kids argue with everything that comes out of my mouth.
But where are they getting it?
From you.
So what we see is that the example is more powerful than just the instruction.
And in order to be a great leader, you do both.
Jesus began both to do and teach.
And so preachers need to preach the word of God.
There are some preachers who get this backwards, and they have the opposite problem, where
they do great works, but they never preach what needs to be done.
And then they also fail as a leader.
You must have both.
You can't just, well, I'm just setting the example and just waiting for people to get
on board.
No, you do have to speak the truth.
You do have to quote the verse to your kids, children, obey your parents in the Lord, for
this is right.
Honor thy father and mother.
But you also need to show them an example of following authority in your own life and
respecting your own parents and respecting your own Heavenly Father and respecting your
own boss at work, etc., etc.
And also, if you're on the job, how you treat your higher-ups is going to affect how the
people below you treat you, if you're at that mid-management level in the company.
You are going to receive what you put out.
I mean, what does the Bible say?
Whatsoever man soweth, that shall he also reap.
And so setting that example is a powerful, powerful thing.
We should, in all things, in all areas, show ourselves a pattern of good works.
And God said, let no man despise thy youth.
See, this is even speaking to the young.
But be thou an example.
And he said, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.
So the things that come out of your mouth, word, but also our deeds, should be an example
that other people can follow, just as Christ left us an example that we should follow in
his steps.
Let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer.
Father, we thank you so much for your word, Lord, and for the example that you gave.
Thank you for being the ultimate leader.
And Lord, as we read the pages of scriptures, you many times assert your authority, and
you many times state, I am the Lord.
I am God.
State that many times, Lord.
But thank you for also humbling yourself and taking on flesh and showing us how to do it.
And showing us an example of good works and of submitting to the Heavenly Father while
you were on this earth.
And Lord, we just pray that you would help us to be leaders.
Every single person in this room, even children, that they would lead the children around them
by setting a godly, right example.
And help us, especially as parents, not to be an Eli.
Help wives not to be a Vashti.
But help us all to set a godly example.
In Jesus' name we pray, amen.