Now, we just read Song of Solomon chapter number seven, and what I want to preach about
tonight, or this morning rather, is the book of Song of Solomon in general.
Now I've been pastoring now for almost seven years, and I realize that I've never really
preached on the book of Song of Solomon.
I've never really covered the main content of the book.
Looking back over my sermons, there have been times when I pulled verses out of the book
of Song of Solomon to make individual points.
For example, I preached on the scripture in chapter number one that talks about keeping
your own vineyard as opposed to keeping other people's vineyards.
I've covered the part about the spiced pomegranate juice in sermons where I was explaining that
alcohol is a sin, and I explained that doctrine there, and you know, different little things
like that that I pulled out.
But I never really covered the main material and the main content of the book of Song of
Solomon.
I've grown up in church my whole life, and I've heard very few sermons from the book
of Song of Solomon, almost none in fact.
And whenever I did hear a sermon from the book of Song of Solomon, usually they went
so deep and so symbolic that it seemed like they were just making things up.
You know, they're going so deep, they're finding stuff that's not even there, okay.
And they're going into this symbolism, and I couldn't even follow it.
And honestly, I've just never heard the main primary applications covered.
And you know, there is a lot of symbolism in the Bible, and there are a lot of deep
interpretations, but sometimes we get so focused on the deep interpretations and the symbolism
that we blow past the primary meaning of what's being taught in the scripture.
Now some will say, and if you would turn to Romans chapter 13, Romans 13 is where we'll
start, and then we'll come back to Song of Solomon.
Some will say that the book of Song of Solomon is intended to be read, and they'll say don't
preach it.
It shouldn't be preached, it should only be read privately, okay, I've heard that said.
But the Bible says all scripture is given by inspiration of God and is profitable for
doctrine, which doctrine means teaching, doctrine, reproof, correction, and for instruction in
righteousness.
So the Bible is teaching that every part of scripture should not only be read, but should
also be preached, okay.
Some will say this, some will say, well it's not appropriate for all ages.
Do it in a setting that's for certain ages, no.
The Bible says thy word is very pure, therefore thy servant loveth it.
He said in Proverbs 30 verse 5, every word of God is pure.
He's a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Now many people, the reason that they think it's not appropriate for all ages is that
they have a misconception about the content of the book of Song of Solomon.
Although Song of Solomon is describing love and affection between a husband and wife,
yet it does not go into any graphic detail and never describes the consummation of that
marriage.
It's never described, okay.
Some people will try to say that that's what the book covers and then they'll use the book
as a justification to write books and articles that do describe the act that goes on in marriage,
the consummation.
But you know what?
I'm categorically against these type of books and these type of instruction manuals.
It's sin, it's of the world.
If you're looking for an instruction manual, my friend, go down to the store and buy one
of these wicked magazines that are on the magazine rack and you're going to find instructions.
But let me tell you something, God's people and Christians should not be publicly discussing
what goes on within the marriage bed and within the confines of marriage.
The Bible says marriage is honorable and all and the bed undefiled but whoremongers
and adulterers God will judge and we are not to take what goes on in the bed out of the
bed and to basically just put it on display publicly.
It's wrong, it's sin and the world, they make a fortune off of it.
They sell these magazines and these books that describe things that should be private
between a husband and wife only and they make a fortune and then Christians seek to tap
into that market by producing books that teach the same type of things.
We don't need an instruction manual.
If we needed an instruction manual, God would have included it in the Bible.
Yet in a comprehensive book like Song of Solomon that goes into great detail about love and
affection between husband and wife, there's no description of it showing us that God does
not need to give us a description.
And you say, well how are these young people going to know what to do when they get married?
I was a virgin when I got married and let me say this, I knew what to do and I'll tell
you this, for thousands of years upon this earth people have known what to do without
the public school system and without dirty magazines teaching them and animals out in
the wild know, it's called instinct.
It's the same way that a baby knows to start eating when it's born.
You don't have to teach, okay you need to eat now, here's how you eat, it just knows
how to eat because God put that knowledge and put that wisdom inside of man.
Just as he put wisdom and knowledge inside of, you know, animals.
For example, the salmon, you know, they swim upstream.
Nobody has to explain that to them.
Nobody has to explain to the salmon to go upstream and lay their eggs.
Nobody has to explain to the, what are those birds that fly to San Juan Capistrano?
Someone must know.
Swallows, yeah.
Nobody has to tell these swallows, okay, here's where you're going to go, you know.
It's certain knowledge and innate wisdom that tells the bird to fly south for the winter
and to come back to, you know, San Juan Capistrano when the weather warms up.
And so we don't need that kind of teaching and don't get nervous because guess what,
that's not the kind of teaching I'm going to do this morning because I don't ever do
that kind of teaching because it's not necessary, it's not biblical, it's not warranted and
it's indecent, frankly.
And so I'm not going to do it.
But yet some would take an angle of saying, well what God does cover in Song of Solomon,
that's inappropriate.
Well then your version of inappropriate is not matching the Bible.
And so you need to sit back and listen to what the Bible teaches in the Book of Song
of Solomon.
Now first of all you say, why preach on it?
Well number one, because it's something I haven't preached on and I need to preach the
whole book.
Because the Bible, look at Romans 13 and let me show you something here.
It says in Romans 13 verse 8, Owe no man anything but to love one another, for he that loveth
another hath fulfilled the law.
For this thou shalt not commit adultery, thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, thou
shalt not bear false witness, thou shalt not covet, and if there be any other commandment
as briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.
Love worketh no ill to his neighbor, therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.
Now the Book of Song of Solomon is about the love that a husband and wife have mutually
for one another and they're expressing that love in every chapter.
That's what the book's about.
And the reason that's important is that a lot of the adultery and divorce and other
sins like that that we see running rampant today are due to a lack of love of the husband
for his wife and the lack of love of the wife for her husband.
Because according to the Bible, if we would have the right love in our life, we would
not work ill to our neighbor.
And he said that if we're committing adultery and if we're committing the sin of covetousness,
those are two of the five that he lists there, he said those sins are caused as a result
of a lack of love because he said if you would fulfill the commandment, thou shalt love thy
neighbor as thyself, you wouldn't do those things.
And that's why all five of those things could all be wrapped up and really any other commandment
can all be wrapped up in this, thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.
Do you see that there in Romans 13?
And you see if husbands had a proper love and affection for their wife, they wouldn't
be committing adultery, would they?
Would you say that a man who commits adultery loves his wife?
No.
Would you say that a woman who commits adultery loves her husband?
No.
That's not love.
And the Bible says if our love was right, we wouldn't commit those things.
And go if you would to Proverbs chapter 5.
Proverbs chapter number 5, let me show you a similar concept.
Proverbs chapter number 5.
And while you're turning to Proverbs chapter 5, let me read for you from 1 Corinthians
7.
The Bible says in verse 1, now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me, you're
turning to Proverbs 5, it is good for a man not to touch a woman.
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife and let every woman
have her own husband.
Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
The wife hath not power of her own body but the husband and likewise also the husband
hath not power of his own body but the wife.
He fraud ye not one the other except it be with consent for a time that ye may give yourselves
to fasting and prayer and come together again that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
So two things here.
First of all, the Bible says, you know, if my wife and I have the right love and affection
one for the other and we love each other, we're not going to commit adultery and I'm
not going to covet my neighbor's wife either, which are two of the commandments that he
listed there of the five.
Not only that, the Bible teaches that if I have a proper relationship with my wife physically,
the Bible says that Satan will not be able to tempt me as easily because he'll tempt
us for our incontinency if that relationship is not there.
And obviously as human beings, we desire that physical relationship and God's saying, you
know, to avoid fornication, to avoid having that improper relationship outside of marriage,
he said the answer to that, he said to avoid fornication is for every man to have his
own wife and for every woman to have her own husband, the Bible says.
And he says that that will avoid fornication and that that will avoid also adultery when
the proper relationship is there.
So that's why this is so important to be preached.
You'll see the same thing there in Proverbs chapter 5 verse number 20.
Let me turn there myself.
The Bible says in verse 3, for the lips of a strange woman, and when the Bible says strange
woman, it's not just saying she's got her tongue pierced and her hair's all different
colors and stuff like that.
When it says the strange, although that is strange, he's saying the strange woman as
in a stranger.
When it says a strange woman, he's saying foreign.
And I'm not talking about nationality, I'm saying she's someone that you don't know,
she's someone that you're not married to, it's just a random woman.
And he says that the lips of a strange woman drop as in honeycomb and her mouth is smoother
than oil, but her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.
Her feet go down to death, her steps take hold on hell.
So God's giving a very stern and a strong warning about avoiding the strange woman being
sucked into this physical relationship with wicked women.
This chapter covers it, chapter 6, 7, 8, 9, he hammers this in the next several chapters,
he hammers it one chapter after another.
But jump down to verse 15 and we'll find a similar concept to what we read in 1 Corinthians
7.
The Bible says in verse 15, drink waters out of thine own cistern and running waters out
of thine own well.
Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad and rivers of waters in the streets, let them
be only thine own and not strangers with thee.
Let thy fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe, let her breast satisfy thee at all times
and be thou ravished always with her love.
And look at verse 20, and why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman and
embrace the bosom of a stranger?
Now let me just start out by saying this, adultery is always wrong, there's never an
excuse for it, there's never sympathy for it that would say, oh I understand, no, adultery
is wrong.
The Bible said in the book of Leviticus that both the adulterer and the adulterer should
be stoned with stones, I mean it's a very serious sin.
There's no excuse for it ever, but the Bible does have this concept in 1 Corinthians 7
and in Proverbs 5 that you're less likely to indulge in adultery if you're drinking
waters out of your own cistern and getting water out of your own well.
He said if you are enjoying the wife of your youth, he says, why would you want it?
Why would you need to embrace the bosom of a stranger?
There's no reason for it.
And that's the same thing he taught in 1 Corinthians 7.
And so that's some of the reasons why we want to cover this.
And then one more place before we get into Song of Solomon itself, go to Deuteronomy
24.
Before we really delve into Song of Solomon itself, go to Deuteronomy 24 verse 5.
And this is talking about a young couple getting married in Deuteronomy 24 verse 5.
The Bible says, when a man hath taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war, neither
shall he be charged with any business, but he shall be free at home one year and shall
cheer up his wife which he hath taken.
So here the Bible teaches the concept of basically investing in your marriage and taking
the time necessary to have a good marriage.
And he really emphasizes this, especially for the newlyweds.
He says when you get married, you need to put other stuff on the back burner.
For one year you're not going to take any really long trips or go off to war.
You're not going to be charged with any business.
You're going to take some time and the main thing in your life, your focus for that year,
is going to be on cheering up your wife.
Now why is she so depressed?
I don't understand it.
But anyway, he says that's what you're going to spend that year doing.
That tells me that God thinks that our marriage is important, not something to just be disregarded
and neglected.
Let me tell you something.
Having a good marriage takes work and effort on both people's part.
It's not something that just happens automatically.
You have to put forth the effort, and the man here is the one that it's dealing with
in this scripture, saying that the man needs to put forth the effort to have a good marriage
and to have a happy, cheerful marriage.
That's part of his job in life.
Go to Song of Solomon.
And we see that, you know, and I'm not going to cover the typical stuff that I've already
covered in a lot of other sermons.
You know, there have been other sermons where I really focus on Ephesians 5, and I go into
the fact how wives are supposed to obey their husbands in everything, and that the husband's
the head of the wife, and that he's the head of the home, and that he's the boss, and then
other scriptures about how husbands are supposed to love their wives, and about the forgiveness
that needs to be there, and about not being bitter against your wives.
Why would you be bitter?
Well, why does she need cheering up?
Why?
Because marriage takes work and effort.
God says, husbands, don't be bitter against your wife, and then he says, you need to cheer
up your wife, you know, because there can be low points and there can be negatives in
marriage, and that's why 75% of marriages are ending in divorce.
And that's why this is something that we, according to the Bible, need to work on.
As men, as women, this isn't just marriage, and here's my first point, the first thing
I learned, because I wanted to preach on Song of Solomon, something just dawned on me, man,
I haven't preached this.
And I thought to myself, okay, why is this in the Bible?
Why did God give us this book?
What is the book about?
What is he trying to teach me?
What am I, the reader, supposed to be taking from this book?
And I came up with a big long list, and that's what I want to cover.
It's not going to be a long sermon, but a long list.
And I went through the book, and I looked at it, and one of the first things that I
saw, obviously, is that this book, it's about a married couple here.
This isn't just about a couple of teenagers, okay?
The Bible clearly uses the word seven times in this book, the word spouse is used, or
a spousal.
So we're talking about people that are married.
The word spouse means either husband or wife.
But the first thing that I noticed about the book of Song of Solomon in all eight chapters
is that these two people have very strong feelings of love one for another.
When you read the book of Song of Solomon, you don't walk away saying, this is a story
of two roommates.
This is a story of two business partners.
This is two associates.
And a lot of people accuse the Bible of saying that women are just property, and there's
no love, there's no affection, but yet the Song of Solomon shows great love and affection
between a husband and wife.
And this is a pattern, I believe that the book of Song of Solomon is an example book
and a pattern book of the relationship that husbands should have with their wives.
It's a pattern.
And I don't see a husband that's cold toward his wife in this book.
I don't see a wife that's cold toward her husband and business-like.
We see people that are very much in love with one another, have very strong feelings, and
they express those feelings to one another.
I'm going to take that as a pattern, because that's why it's there.
Look at verse 5.
Let me just show you just how strong the love is.
This verse, I always thought this verse was kind of funny when I read it, but it says
in verse 5, stay me with flagons, comfort me with apples, for I am sick of love.
Now a lot of people can misunderstand that, because we have an expression in our modern
vernacular like I'm sick of it.
I'm sick of love.
She doesn't mean like I'm sick of it.
She's saying like she's sick as a result of love.
Like she's basically feeling physically sick.
Look at chapter 5 verse 8, Song of Solomon 5.8.
And you've heard the term, right?
Love sick.
Oh, he's love sick or whatever.
Look at Song of Solomon 5.8.
It says, I charge you, O you daughters of Jerusalem, if you find my beloved that you
tell him that I am sick of love.
So these are very strong feelings that are being represented.
Look at verse 4 of the same chapter.
It says my beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door and my bowels were moved
for him.
Look at Song of Solomon chapter 8.
Go to chapter 8, just a few pages to the right.
It says in verse 6, Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine heart, for
love is strong as death, jealousy as cruel as the grave.
The coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame.
Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it.
If a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would be utterly contempt.
Not condemned, contempt.
What is the Bible saying here?
You know, this love that they have for one another is a very strong, burning, passionate
love is what he's describing in many places in the chapter.
That's the first thing that jumped out at me about this book.
But the second thing, look at chapter 5 verse 16.
This is the wife talking about her husband to others and she says in Song of Solomon
chapter 5 verse 16, His mouth is most sweet, yea he is altogether lovely.
This is my beloved and this is my what?
Friend.
This is my beloved and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.
So the second thing I saw is that we should have a friendship with our spouse.
It shouldn't just be somebody that we cohabit with or live with and it's a business deal
and you know, okay you cook the meals and I'll pay the bills, alright, deal.
Now that is the deal in my house, but let me tell you something, my marriage is more
than just a deal like that.
And you can all day long have it down pat in your house that the husband's the boss
and that the wife obeys the husband.
You can have that going in your house the way it's supposed to and you can have a wife
that loves her husband and a husband that loves the wife and that is forgiving and that
is not bitter and that is obeying the scripture.
But let me tell you something, there has to be love there.
There has to be affection there, not just a business transaction.
You know, I didn't marry my wife just to hire a mate, I could have just hired a mate,
you know, and I mean I'm not just there only just to pay her bills.
You know, there's supposed to be a relationship there and there's supposed to be love and
affection there and there's supposed to be a friendship there and your wife should be
your friend and your husband should be your friend is what the Bible's teaching.
The other thing that I saw, the third thing I saw is that the word sister keeps coming
up.
Song of Solomon chapter 4 verse 9.
Chapter 4 verse 9.
Song of Solomon 4.9.
Thou hast ravished my heart, my sister, my spouse.
Thou hast ravished my heart with one of thine eyes, with one chain of thine neck.
How fair is thy love, my sister, my spouse.
How much better is thy love than wine, and the smell of thine ointments than all spices.
You say, wait a minute, are these people from West Virginia?
No, they're not.
But the reason that over and over again, and it goes on several more times, verse 12.
A garden enclosed is my sister, my spouse.
A spring shut up, a fountain sealed.
And by the way, that goes back to what I was saying earlier.
He's referring to his wife as a garden that is enclosed or fenced in.
Basically it's not on display, it's completely closed in.
He says that she is a fountain that is sealed, a spring shut up.
And what that's referring to is what we saw in Proverbs 5.
It refers to the wife as a fountain and a spring.
It uses that terminology about that relationship.
It's something that needs to be kept behind closed doors.
It's not something that's public and open is what he's saying.
And we should be protective of our wives and so forth.
But notice, over and over again, sister, verse 1 of chapter 5 again, Song of Solomon 5.1.
I am coming to the garden, my sister, my spouse.
Verse 2, I sleep but my heart waketh.
It is the voice of my beloved that knocketh, saying, Open to me, my sister, my love.
Now this is not his physical sister.
That should go without saying.
But as a married couple, we are supposed to be equally yoked and that means that we are
brother and sister in Christ.
You know, all throughout the Bible, those that are saved are referred to as the brethren,
as our brother.
And those that are saved that are women are known as sisters.
And so when the Bible says my sister, my spouse, he's talking about basically we're brother
and sister in Christ.
Obviously they're not physically related.
That would not be right.
And what that tells me is that in order to have the proper relationship, in order to
have a good marriage as described in the book of Song of Solomon, you're both going to have
to be saved.
You can't have a child of God with a child of this world, a child of hell and a child
of God.
There's not going to be communion there.
The Bible says, Be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers.
What fellowship hath light with darkness?
And you know, if you're a child of light and you're walking as children of light and your
spouse is not a believer, there's going to be a lack of fellowship there and communion.
You say, well, I've already made that mistake.
I'm already married.
Well, you know what?
You need to stay married and you need to not depart from your husband or your wife and
you need to stay married.
But is that an ideal situation to be in, in the first place?
No.
And so if you're already married, you've made that vow, you need to keep that vow until
death do us part.
But let me tell you this, young people take this very seriously.
You need to marry someone that is a believer and that you are equally yoked with that,
you know, if you're going to have this kind of relationship that's described, it needs
to be a fellow believer.
You need to be in the same family of God there.
You need to both be born again, children of God.
And you can put all the great ideas and methods into practice that are in the Bible, but you
know what?
That's going to be a big problem if you're not both saved.
And young people, just because somebody just says, oh I'm a Christian, I go to so-and-so
episcopal church.
Come on.
You need to make sure that this person is really saved.
Oh, they're a Christian.
Oh, what church do they go to?
I don't know.
What are you talking about on these dates?
I mean, you know, this should be a big, Christ is our life.
And our life is about serving Him, and you know, you need to make sure that anybody you're
even considering dating or thinking about getting married to, you need to make sure
that that person is saved.
And I don't just mean that they just say I'm a Christian.
You need to ask them, do you know for sure if you died today you go to heaven?
And what do you believe it takes to get there?
And why are you saved?
What are you trusting in?
Not just, oh he said he's a Christian, then you find out he's Lutheran, Catholic, Mormon.
Help us.
Jehovah's Witness.
Yeah, if he's Mormon, you're just going to be one of the wives.
But anyway, you've got to watch out for that.
But anyway, what I'm saying is that this is an important component of marriage, is the
brother-sister relationship.
Not a physical brother and sister, obviously a spiritual brother and sister in Christ type
of a relationship.
The other thing that jumped out at me, and I'm just going down the list of stuff that
jumped out at me.
Obviously I can't go verse by verse to all eight chapters in one morning.
So I'm just hitting the main points, you're going to have to read the book on your own
and learn from it.
I'm just hitting some main points that jumped out at me.
You know, another point that really jumped out at me is how much the husband here is
praising his wife's appearance.
I mean that's virtually every chapter.
That's most of what the book is.
I mean it's him praising her appearance, and they praise other things about each other,
but there's a lot of praise for the appearance of his wife.
Now if you would, go to Proverbs, you're close to Proverbs anyway, go to Proverbs 31.
And let me explain this, because I don't want you to get the wrong idea about this.
And see, balance is what we need.
What we need is to get the whole scripture, Genesis through Revelation, and get the balance
of what scripture is teaching.
Not to just take one thing, one verse, one scripture, and just go overboard with it.
That's where people get into false doctrine.
People whose doctrine is right have read the whole Bible, got the whole big picture, and
they put it all out there and they can basically rightly divide the word of truth because they've
got the whole.
I mean look, if somebody only showed me part of a pizza, you know, I don't know how to
divide that pizza.
I need to see the whole thing and say, okay, I see the whole thing, I see how big the pizza
is, I'm dividing it amongst ten people, now I know how to make, you know, until you see
the whole pizza of God's word, you're not going to be able to rightly divide it.
And so, rightly dividing the word has to do with, you know, seeing the big picture.
And a lot of times, God balances things in the Bible and understands.
Now let me balance something here.
In Proverbs 31, verse 29, the Bible says, Many daughters have done virtuously, but
thou excelest them all.
Fear is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be
praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands and let her own works praise her in the gates.
Now isn't this scripture downplaying physical beauty and saying, hey, what's really important
is a virtuous woman.
What's really important is her works, what she's doing, not her looks.
Isn't that what this scripture is teaching?
But get it in the context.
Proverbs 31, go to verse 1, it says the words of King Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother
taught him.
This is a mother teaching her son how to look for and find the right wife.
And in this whole long description of all the attributes that he should be looking for
in a wife, her appearance is not coming into play as being high on the list whatsoever.
God's explaining the attributes to look for and he says, first and foremost, she needs
to be a woman that feareth the Lord, a godly woman.
And he goes into the fact that she's a hardworking woman, a righteous woman, she has her mouth
under control.
You know, all these different things that the Bible describes in the book of Proverbs
that we should be looking for.
So look, divide it my friend, before marriage you shouldn't just go out and just marry the
best looking woman you can find.
I'm just going to marry the best looking woman I can find.
The Bible says that beauty in a woman that's without discretion is like a jewel in a pig's
snout.
That's what the Bible says in Proverbs.
It's like putting a jewel in a pig's snout.
You know, really it's a filthy animal, isn't it?
It wallows in the mud and in the mire and in the muck.
Putting a jewel and decorating it does not change what's going on in the mind and heart
of that beast.
And so, you know, outward appearance can be vain and deceitful, the Bible says.
Did you get that?
He said favor is deceitful.
You can be deceived by looking at the outward appearance and the Bible says judge not after
the outward appearance but judge righteous judgment.
So to those that are single, those that are unmarried, I would say, you know, looks should
not be at the top of your list.
Is looks a factor?
Obviously looks are a factor, you know, in the Bible if we read the whole Bible there
is somewhat of an emphasis on the way people look, but that is very low on the list.
It should be godliness and righteousness and personality and what's in the heart that
really is number one.
Isn't that clear from this passage?
That the heart is what's number one and not the looks?
But that's before you're married.
Now that you're married it's time to start talking about the appearance, okay?
Before you're married that's not the main thing you're emphasizing, that's not what
you're looking for, but once you're married to the right type of person, you know, it's
very biblical to praise your wife's appearance and I mean we're talking chapter one, chapter
two, chapter three, chapter four, this isn't just one verse.
Chapter five, chapter six, chapter seven, chapter eight of Song of Solomon is just a
praise of his wife's appearance and she's praising him even.
What does that tell us?
You know, we should shower that kind of praise upon our wife or upon our husband, okay, because
it is part of being married.
There is a physical component or physical aspect to marriage and we should express our
love for our wife and part of that is expressing our love for the way that she looks.
Now you say, well Pastor Anderson, go to Psalm 139, you say, well Pastor Anderson, you know,
my wife doesn't look exactly like the woman that's described in graphic detail in Song
of Solomon.
Or my husband does not look at all like the graphic description of Solomon that's found
in Song of Solomon.
I'm not married to Solomon, you know, I'm not married to this type of woman.
But here's the thing, you can't get too hung up on the physical descriptions in Song of
Solomon because all of us look different, don't we?
For example, one of the things that she's praising Solomon for is that he's white.
Now if you're married to a black man, that's not going to work.
Now that's not teaching that white people are better, you know, the whiter you are,
the better you are.
That's not what he's teaching at all.
You know, one of the things that she praises him for is his black as a raven hair and for
the bushiness of his hair.
I don't have a bushy hairdo and I don't have black hair.
That doesn't mean that I'm not as good looking or you're not as good, oh you have blonde
hair, you're not as good looking.
Black as a raven is the ideal hair color and if your hair is not black, you know, I guess
your husband or your wife is just putting up with you.
God made us all different.
It's not, we shouldn't fixate on the description, well my legs aren't exactly like that or my
hair isn't exactly like that or my teeth aren't like that.
I mean my teeth are not as milky white and all that stuff that she's talking about.
But here's the thing, instead of focusing on the description itself, saying oh this
is what you have to look like, well no because God made us all totally different from one
another.
We should just focus on the fact that he's praising her appearance and that she's praising
his appearance.
That's what we ought to focus, not on what that appearance is, obviously the book of
Song of Solomon is about two specific people.
But it's a pattern, you know, my wife's not going to be praising my bushy black locks
because I don't have any.
And I'm not going to be praising her in the same way exactly, she's not going to be praising
me in the same way, but focus on the fact that that kind of conversation is going on.
Go to Psalm 139 where I had you turn and look at verse 14.
The Bible says, I will praise thee.
This is David saying I will praise God.
I will praise thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made, marvelous are thy works
and that my soul knoweth right well.
My substance was not hid from thee when I was made in secret and curiously wrought in
the lowest parts of the earth.
Mine eyes did see my substance yet being unperfect and in thy book all my members, members meaning
body parts, were written which in continuance were fashioned when as yet there was none
of them.
How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God, how great is the sum of them.
At the end of verse 16 there, the Bible explains that in a mother's womb, God forms and fashions
the child.
He does not just start a ball rolling, you know, on day one of conception.
He doesn't just start a ball rolling and then just step back and it just develops.
The Bible says that he continually, see that word continually?
He continually forms or continuances in continuance.
He fashions and forms us in our mother's womb.
He makes us the way that we are.
So it's not that we look the way that we do by accident.
God has formed us and fashioned us to look the way that we do.
Now some people can negatively affect the way that they look, you know, through their
lifestyle or through, you know, modifying themselves or whatever in whatever possible
way.
But I will say this, the way that God created us, the Bible says in Genesis 1.31, God saw
everything that he had made and behold it was very good and the evening and the morning
were the sixth day.
And here he says we are fearfully and wonderfully made.
We have been crafted.
We are all custom made and we all look different.
So it's not that you have to live up to a certain ideal of how you're supposed to look.
Your husband may look completely different than what other people consider to be, you
know, tall, dark, and handsome or whatever.
And your wife might look completely different from what's on the cover of some magazine
but I'll be frank with you, you know, I see these magazine covers in the stores and you
know, I'll tell you right now, most of the time I'm not even tempted because to me that's
not what I'm looking for.
I don't think that that sleazy, make-up covered, just fake, fraud facade look of just a total,
you know, and I mean especially the look on their face.
They get these angry look.
I mean that's like, you know, I don't go shopping at the mall for fun, you know what I mean?
Sometimes I take Miriam over there to get a little gelato because they have this Italian
gelato stand and it's right by my house, but a lot of times I'll be doing fire alarm inspections
and I'll go to these malls to do fire alarm inspections and I mean the pictures in the
windows, it's these women with these angry, mad faces.
You know what I'm talking about?
Like these models, they just have like this angry look or like this rebellious look.
I just look at that and I'm like, man, give me a way, you know, I would never want to
be anywhere near that woman.
You know what I mean?
This woman needs to be put in her place.
No, I'm just kidding, but anyway, you know, I just, I don't find, and here's the thing,
some people have different tastes and have you ever heard this expression, beauty is
in the eye of the beholder?
You know, not everybody considers the same thing.
Now TV and Hollywood have sought to basically get us all to think the same way, like, you
know, whether you're in Arizona or Zimbabwe or whether you're in the south or the north
or the east or the west, it's like they put the same image out there, this is beautiful,
this is what you're supposed to look like, and try to get us all to think the same way.
But you know what, we're not supposed to all think the same way, because God made us all
different.
And you know, what I consider beautiful is different than what you consider beautiful,
and you know, guess what, the person that I married, I married her because I thought
she was beautiful, okay?
Now somebody else might have thought that somebody else was more beautiful, I'd look
at that person and say, no, my wife is more beautiful, okay?
Because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, it's not some certain standard that we have
to live up to, I'm going to go dye my hair black and try to get that bushy look, that's
not what it's about, it's about loving your wife, loving the way she looks, and expressing
that to her.
And loving your husband for who he is, and expressing your love to him in that way.
And you say, well my wife just isn't beautiful, you know, maybe you just need to shut off
your stupid TV and quit getting brainwashed that everybody has to look like Barbie or
something.
You know, there's other forms of beauty, and that is a brainwashing that tells you you
have to look a certain way to be, and you know what, and what they want you to look
like is really a worldly and sinful example, when you look at the clothing and the style
and the attitude, it's not right.
And so you need to adjust your taste, you know, and then I ask, well why did you marry
that person then, if you just can't find anything that you like about them?
Then why did you marry that person?
Did somebody, was it a shotgun wedding?
You know?
And so, I mean, if you married somebody, there must have been something that you liked about
that person, you're supposed to marry the one that you like, you know, and if you don't
like what you're married, you know, you married that person, you must like that person on
some level, and so you need to express that.
You know, and you say, well I love my wife, I love the way she looks, but have you told
her that?
Have you expressed that to her?
Oh, I love my husband, I'm proud of him, and I think he's great on the job, and I think
he's a great provider, and I think he's a good looking guy, you know, but have you expressed
that to him?
Because the Bible says open rebuke is better than secret love, you know, and the Bible
says we should express our love and not keep it a secret.
You know, somebody said, well I told my wife, you know, why don't you ever tell your wife
that you love her, and he said, well, you know, when we got married, I told her I love
her, and if I change my mind, I'll let her know.
But that's not biblical, you know, we need to express ourselves, okay?
So not only is there a, let me just, you know, we got a little bit of an example, let me
just show you a few examples quickly, let me find my place in my notes here.
Let's see here, go to Proverbs, I'm sorry, Song of Solomon chapter 7 is where we started
out reading, this is the chapter that we read before the sermon, verse 1, and this is a
tiny example, I mean, to give you the whole example, we'd have to read the whole book,
because that's pretty much what it's all about.
But you know, chapter 7 verse 1, how beautiful are thy feet with shoes, O prince's daughter.
The joints of thy thighs are like jewels, the work of the hands of a cunning workman.
And by the way, doesn't that tie in with Psalm 139?
And then he says in verse 2, thy navel is like a round goblet which wanteth not liquor.
We're not talking about Jack Daniels, liquor just means any liquid that's drunk.
He says, that wanteth not liquor, thy belly is like a heap of wheat set about with lilies.
Now, some of this you might say, well I don't know, this is a little corny, you know, I'm
not saying this is the vernacular that you're going to use.
You know, and in 2012, you know, I'm not saying you have to praise your wife's belly in this
exact way, okay, but I'm just saying, you know, we get the example here.
It's an example is what it is, okay.
He says in verse 3, thy two breasts are like two young rows that are twins.
Thy neck is as a tower of ivory, thine eyes like the fish pools of Heshbon by the gate
of Bethrabim, thy nose is as the tower of Lebanon.
You know, that one probably isn't going to fly.
Now the rest of them, the rest of these would probably work.
You know, you could probably make these work in 2012, but that one about your nose being
like a tower, you know, that one's probably not going to work, okay.
He says, thine head upon thee is like caramel, and the hair of thy head like purple.
The king is held in the galleries.
How fair and how pleasant art thou, O love for delights.
Thy breast thy stature is like to a palm tree, and thy breast to clusters of grapes.
And so you can go on and on and on and on, you know, all the different chapters going
on and on.
But there's even some praise for her husband's appearance.
Look at Song of Solomon chapter 5 verse 10.
Now there's a lot less of this in the book.
It's more about the woman's appearance, but you know, let's face it, men aren't really
that into their appearance.
You know, they probably like to be complimented in other ways, okay, than just their appearance
because you know, most men, you know, are not staring into a mirror and worried about
their appearance, thank God.
But look at verse number 10.
This is the wife talking about her husband.
My beloved is white and ruddy, again, you know, if applicable.
And again, it's not better or worse, it's just people look different.
Some people are white, some people are black, some people have black hair, blond hair.
Some people think blond hair is way better than black hair, you know, and vice versa.
People like different attributes.
But he says, you know, my beloved is white and ruddy, the cheapest among 10,000.
His head is as the most fine gold, his locks are bushy, talking about his hair, and black
is a raven.
His eyes are as the eyes of doves by the rivers of water, washed with milk and fitly set.
His cheeks are as a bed of spices, as sweet flowers.
His lips like lilies, dropping sweet smelling myrrh.
His hands are as gold rings set with the barrel.
His belly is as bright ivory, overlaid with sapphires.
You know, some people are trying to see how tan they can be.
This girl's praising her husband for how white his belly is, you know.
Some people would think that's a bad thing, some people think, you know, it's just, again,
it's just who you're married to.
His legs are as pillars of marble, set upon sockets of fine gold.
His countenance is as Lebanon, excellent as the cedars.
His mouth is most sweet, yea, he is altogether lovely.
This is my beloved and this is my friend, oh daughters of Jerusalem.
So that's another thing that we can see is the expressions of love and the praising of
your spouse.
You know, express, you know, when we praise God, when we express our love to God, we tell
him how great he is, right?
And we praise the Lord for his mighty acts, the Bible says.
And we bring up the things that he does that are so great and we praise his word for how
wise it is and how right it is and how true it is all the time.
You know, and here's the thing, we should praise our wife for the things that she does
well and for the, you know, not just her appearance but also, you know, for her acts and for the
things that she accomplishes and does and vice versa the husband.
But not only that, we see that there is physical affection that's described in the Song of
Solomon.
And again, the book of Song of Solomon never goes into any details whatsoever about the
consummation of the marriage.
I mean, the type of things that Song of Solomon describes are basically like, you know, kissing
and hugging and stuff.
It doesn't go into the actual consummation and neither should we, by the way.
You know, that's something that should be private.
And by the way, I don't do marriage counseling, by the way.
And no, that's not a joke.
You notice no one's laughing?
Because it's true.
It's not a joke.
Because I don't do marriage counseling and you say, why don't you do marriage counseling?
Because you know what?
People need to listen to the sermon.
I mean, this is the counseling that you need.
Are you listening to what I've been preaching for the last 45 minutes?
And are you going to apply this to your life?
Then you won't need counseling, okay?
And I'm not saying just this sermon alone is going to do it for you, but when you come
Sunday morning, when you come Sunday night and when you come Wednesday night, you're
getting the teaching and instruction you need.
And a lot of times what a counseling session is, is just, oh, let me air all my dirty laundry.
I don't want to hear it.
Honestly, I know that everyone in this room is not perfect.
I know that there are people in this room that are sinful and we're all sinners.
Nobody's perfect.
Nobody's righteous.
But let me explain something to you.
I don't want to know about your sins.
I don't want you to come and, you know, give me all your rundown of all your sins.
I don't want to hear it.
Because I'd rather think the best of you.
I don't want to know, and look, don't you think that everybody has moments that are
ugly?
Right?
I mean, don't you think everybody in their, if we were to follow them around their personal
life 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, don't you think there would be some ugly moments
and ugly times?
And it would probably make us think less of people if we saw what they were really like
all the time.
Because you know what?
We all have our moments where we're in the flesh and we're not walking in the Spirit.
We all have moments where we do things and commit sin and say stupid things.
You know, honestly, it's just part of being a human being.
And I'm not talking about big things.
I'm not talking about, yeah, we're all committing adultery and murder and stealing cars.
That's not what I'm talking about.
I'm saying, but we all do make mistakes, don't we?
I'm not saying we're doing those kind of big things.
God help us if you are.
But what I am saying is that we all say things, and that's what makes me so mad about this
video surveillance state that we're living in, that video surveils everybody 24 hours
a day.
And I get conspiracy theories, shut up.
It's so true.
Using cameras everywhere and using your smartphone to track you.
You know why?
Because the way I look at it, it used to be, you know, if you accidentally run a red light
or something, you know, it's like, okay, hopefully the cops were not around.
Because look, everybody makes a mistake by accident.
But if you keep running red lights, you're going to get caught eventually, right?
If you accidentally, oh whoops, my foot went a little down on the pedal.
You know, I'm going faster than I wanted to go.
Let me slow it down.
But if you're constantly speeding, you're going to eventually get caught, right?
If you have a habit of driving in a way that is in violation of the statute, eventually
you're going to get busted.
But wait a minute.
If we had a cop with us 24-7, just riding in the passenger seat with a clipboard, wouldn't
we all get a ticket?
I don't care if you're the best driver in the world.
For all of sin it comes short of the glory of God.
And I'm not saying it's a sin, but I'm saying that nobody's perfect.
And if you had a camera on every intersection, does every time you go one mile or a little
device in your car, you go one mile an hour above the speed limit, bam!
I mean, I don't care how good of a driver you are, see what I mean?
People make mistakes.
People aren't perfect.
What in the world does this have to do with my sermon?
Can somebody remind me how I got off on this rabbit trail?
Thank you.
Very good, Chris.
I can rely on you.
Don't do marriage counseling because I know that people say stupid things.
And a lot of times marriage counseling becomes, hey, I'm going to convince the pastor that
I'm right.
Or I'm going to convince the pastor that he's not right.
And then here's what it becomes, just, okay, who can pull out the worst possible anecdote?
You know, I've been married for 12 years.
You know, okay, should me and my wife get together and have a contest?
Who can pull out the worst anecdote of the last 12 years?
Let me bring out your worst moment, honey.
The worst thing you ever said, the worst thing you ever did on the worst day of your
life, and let's pull out the worst thing that you ever said.
That's so wrong.
The Bible says that God's mercies are new every morning and that we should forgive and
forget.
And a lot of times the marriage counseling says, well, she did this, oh yeah, but let
me tell you what he did.
Because, you know, nobody's going to go in there and let one badmouth the other without,
you know, returning fire, you know.
And so it becomes just this airing of dirty laundry and then the pastor is like, you can't
look at these people the same way again.
And that's why people ask me, do you do marriage counseling?
I say no.
Here's my counsel, come to church Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, read your Bible
every day.
He said, oh, but I need to let you know about my specific situation.
No, the Bible works for everybody.
Ephesians 5 works for everybody.
Colossians 3 works for everybody.
Song of Solomon works for everybody.
And we need to read it and study it and listen to the preaching.
This will give us the information, oh, do this in a closed door session, Pastor Harrison,
it's inappropriate.
No, if it's inappropriate, I wouldn't be saying it.
Oh, send out the kids for the Song of Solomon sermon.
No, that sounds like the sermon's going the wrong direction when you're sending the kids
out.
Because anything that I wouldn't say in front of the kids, I'm not saying in front of the
adults either.
Because I'm going to preach God's word, nothing more, nothing less.
And this is what kids need to be hearing so that by the time they get to marriage, they
already know the truth.
They already know about right and wrong.
They already know what it's supposed to look like.
I grew up reading the book of Song of Solomon because I grew up reading the whole Bible.
And this will help us get the right frame of mind about marriage and we won't need all
the counseling.
Because what I'm going to tell you for counsel is the same for everybody because right's
right and wrong's wrong.
And I don't need to know all the specifics of your situation.
There are some things that you just need to handle within your marriage and not bring
other people into.
If I have a problem with my wife, I'm not going to bring you into it.
And if my wife has a problem with me, she better not be bringing other people into it.
And this bad-mouthing of spouses goes on a lot, by the way.
I don't see it in Song of Solomon, I see praise.
And the daughters ask, this is what they say in verse 9, are you in Song of Solomon chapter
5?
Song of Solomon 5, 9.
What is thy beloved more than another beloved, O thou fairest among women?
What is thy beloved more than another beloved that thou didst so try?
They're just like, why do you keep going on about great your husband?
What's so great about him?
You know, this isn't a woman who's going around bad-mouthing her husband, is she?
She's not going around and, by the way, in Proverbs 31 it says the husband rises up and
praises his wife.
We ought not go around criticizing our wife to other people, or criticizing your husband
to other people.
And it happens a lot.
And it shouldn't happen, okay?
If we have something to say about our spouse, it should be positive, you know, or neutral.
But it shouldn't be a criticism.
And you know what, it's a weak man who hides behind his wife like, oh, I would serve God
but my wife is so carnal.
And I've heard that, and if I had a nickel for every time I heard, oh, you know, I would
love to do this and that and X, Y, and Z, but it's just my wife.
It's her fault.
What kind of a weakling wimp are you that hides your failures and blames and points
at your wife, oh, it's her fault, it's her fault, you know, or women, oh, I would love
to serve God and be righteous and godly, but my husband prays, you know, let me bring it
as a prayer request, you know, can you pray for my husband to stop being so carnal?
No, you know, oh, I would do X, Y, and Z, but my husband, my husband, he's so worldly,
he's not saved, he's just not, you know what, quit hiding behind that and why don't you
just do what you're supposed to do and not hide behind that and not criticize.
I am not going to go around bad-mouthing my wife and she ought to have bad-mouthed me
and you ought to have bad-mouthed your spouse, even if they do bad stuff.
You know, if your husband starts smoking pot or something, that's pretty bad, right?
That's really bad.
But let me tell you something, you don't need to go around broadcasting that to everybody.
I mean, that's just, it's just you trying to lift yourself up by dragging him down as
an excuse for yourself.
I don't need an excuse.
I'm going to do what I'm supposed to do and I don't need to blame my wife for things.
Yeah, that's what, isn't that what Adam tried to do?
Oh, you know, she gave it to me.
You ate it, Adam.
She didn't force-feed you.
She didn't, you know, she didn't shove it down your throat.
She gave it to you and you ate it.
And you take responsibility for that, Adam, as by one man sinning it into the world and
death by sin.
And so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned.
He still did it and he can't blame others.
Let me quickly wrap it up here.
Physical affection.
The Bible does talk about physical affection.
Again, it doesn't go into any kind of graphic details, it doesn't, I'm sorry, it does go
into graphic detail, but it doesn't go into graphic detail about, you know, stuff that
we shouldn't be talking about.
It keeps it on a level of just, you know, kissing and hugging and stuff like that.
Let me show you some scriptures on that and then we'll be done.
Song of Solomon, chapter 1 verse 2.
I mean right out of the gate in verse 1 it says, the song of songs which is Solomon's,
let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for thy love is better than wine.
Go to chapter 5 verse 16.
The Bible reads, his mouth is most sweet, okay, and before that she said, let him kiss
me with the kisses of his mouth.
His mouth is most sweet, yea he is altogether lovely.
Look at chapter 7 verse 9.
This is him talking about her.
And the roof of thy mouth, like the best wine for my beloved, that goeth down sweetly, causing
the lips of those that are asleep, to speak.
So here we have three references to basically kissing, okay?
Kissing on the mouth.
This should be a part of your marriage, according to the Bible.
You know, besides just the consummation of marriage, you know, the Bible does teach that
kissing is a form of affection that should take place between people that are married.
And so this should be a part of your marriage.
There's other physical affection described like, are you in chapter 7?
Go to chapter 8 verse 3.
It says, his left hand should be under my head and his right hand should embrace me.
Talking about hugging, basically, and so forth.
There's nothing graphic, there's nothing indecent here that can't be mentioned for
our children.
You know, I kissed my wife in front of my children.
You know, obviously, this is just basic things that, yes, it's part of marriage and God wants
to know about it without going into anything that's going to pollute our minds here.
This shouldn't pollute your mind.
I mean, it's the Bible.
It's the Word of God.
It's clean and pure and right.
He said in chapter 1 verse 13, a bundle of myrrh is my well beloved unto me.
He shall lie all night betwixt my breasts.
Okay, so this is talking about physical affection between a husband and wife.
It should be a part of marriage.
Again, you shouldn't treat your spouse like a business associate or like a roommate.
There should be love and affection that is expressed, and I just showed you a few examples.
Read the whole book.
It should be expressed both verbally and physically, often, frequently, in large amounts.
There should be exchanges of affection, verbal, not just physical, but verbal.
Not just verbal, but physical.
I mean, the Bible is describing both that need to take place.
There ought to be love and affection, and let me close by saying this.
I personally believe, and again, not making excuses for the wicked, abominable sin of
adultery that the Bible has horrible things to say about, and that the Bible is very clear
on that there's never any excuse for it.
But that being said, I will say this, I believe that the vast majority of cases of adultery
start with an improper relationship between the husband and wife.
If the husband and wife don't have a loving relationship, then people will seek that relationship
in the arms of someone else.
Again, not condoning it, not making excuses for it.
I don't care how cold and unaffectionate your spouse is, if you go to the arms of someone
else, you're wicked as hell.
I mean, there's no excuse.
But I will say this though, that's where adultery and divorce begin.
Adultery begins with a failure of the marriage.
The marriage is not what it should be, so then someone seeks what they're looking for
someone else.
And I'm not saying whose fault it is, or, you know what, the bottom line is though,
that if we would have a right marriage, it's kind of like in Proverbs 5, it's like, well
why would I embrace the bosom of a stranger?
You know, why would I be looking for love and affection?
And you know, it's not always just physical.
Sometimes there's an emotional affection.
People are looking for emotional love and affection, and verbal love and affection.
And they're looking for that expression of affection and love, and you know, if they're
not getting it in their marriage, they're going to be tempted.
I'm not saying they're going to do it.
There's no excuse for it, but they will be tempted to find it somewhere else.
And that's why the Bible is teaching us, and let me say this, an ounce of prevention is
worth a pound of cure.
You know, prevent it from even getting close to that stage by keeping a healthy, loving
relationship with your spouse in advance, and then you'll head off all these sinful
things at the pass.
They won't be there.
But when this is gone, when people do not follow what I've just preached from the Bible
for the last however long, when it's not there, that's where the problems begin.
And so this is like a super preventative sermon where if you put these things into
practice and get this book and make it a pattern book and a part of your life, you know, you'd
be so far from adultery, it's not even coming into your mind.
And again, not condoning it.
There's never an excuse for it.
I refuse to listen to any excuse for it.
I would never put up with it in my presence, and neither will the Lord accept it.
He does say, hey, here's a way to prevent it.
Have the right relationship within the bound of marriage instead of seeking it somewhere
else.
You could be satisfied at home in all areas, whether it be verbal, physical, emotional.
It should all be satisfied by that marriage.
Let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer.
God, we thank you for the book of Song of Solomon, and Father, thank you for the opportunity
to expound it this morning and to talk about it.
Father, help us never to reject portions of scripture or shy away from portions of scripture
because they don't fit our opinions or what we think we should be talking about or what
we think we should be doing.
God, help us to let your word be our guide and help us to preach the whole word and to
read the whole word.