Man, the title of my sermon tonight is Responsibilities of Parents and Children.
Responsibilities of Parents and Children.
You know, this morning I preached about the responsibilities of husbands and wives.
And a lot of problems in marriage today are people just not understanding their proper
responsibilities.
And you'll talk to women who complain about their husband or husbands who complain about
their wives, but their spouse is actually doing everything on the list.
God has told them to do.
But they're still not happy because they want them to do X, Y, and Z beyond that.
Well, that's just an unrealistic and an unbiblical expectation.
But I don't want to re-preach this morning's sermon.
If you didn't hear it, you can listen to it on the recording.
But tonight I want to talk about the responsibilities of parents and children.
There are responsibilities that parents have toward their children.
And there are responsibilities that children have toward their parents.
In this passage that we just looked at in Matthew chapter 15, Jesus here is rebuking
the Pharisees for some traditions they have that they feel supersede the Word of God.
They are basically rejecting God's commandments for their tradition.
And specifically it has to do with the commandment, honor thy father and mother.
You know, the Bible said, honor thy father and mother.
Look at verse 4 there in Matthew 15.
For God commanded, saying, honor thy father and mother.
And he that curseth father and mother, let him die the death.
But ye say, whosoever shall say to his father or his mother, it is a gift, by whatsoever
thou mightest be profited by me, and honor not his father or his mother, he shall be
free.
Thus have you made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition.
You hypocrites, well did Desias prophesy of you, saying, This people draweth nigh unto
me with their mouth, and honoreth me with their lips.
But their heart is far from me.
But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.
So we see here that, first of all, the Bible's teaching that children do have a responsibility
toward their parents.
And they are supposed to take care of their parents when they get old.
The commandment, honor thy father and mother, is not just telling you to obey your parents
as a child.
It's also talking about the fact that you're going to care for them when they're old.
And look, flip over to 1 Timothy chapter 5 and I'll show you this word, honor, how it
works in the Bible.
Because sometimes words in the Bible have taken on a different meaning in modern times.
Over time words can change in meaning or lose meaning or become more shallow in their meaning.
And especially our language in 2018 has gotten a little bit shallow.
A lot of people, they don't know all the definitions of a word.
They don't know the full range of meaning of a word.
They kind of just know the main definition of that word.
And then they'll say, Oh, that's archaic.
When in reality, no, it still means that.
You just don't understand the full scope of that word.
Well, the word honor is a word that's like that.
The word honor is a very deep word that has a lot of meaning to it, okay?
Now if you would look at 1 Timothy chapter 5 and let me show you some biblical examples
about this word honor.
If you go down to verse number 3, it says, honor widows that are widows indeed.
Now if we were using our modern vernacular stripped down definition of honor, we would
basically just say, all right, let's have all the widows stand right now, you know.
Let's give them a big hand.
Let's honor them.
Let's give them an award.
That's what we mean by honor, isn't it?
Okay.
But what's the Bible mean here when it says honor widows that are widows indeed?
Well, look at the next verse.
But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to show piety at home
and to requite their parents, for that is good and acceptable before God.
And if we get down into this passage, the whole passage has to do with actually providing
for the widows.
When it says honor the widows that are widows indeed, it's talking about actually taking
care of their needs.
And of course, there's very strict criteria for which widows the church is going to financially
support or take care of their physical needs.
But that's what it means when it says to honor widows that are widows in need.
But if they have children and nephews, they're the ones who need to take care of that.
Okay.
So in each chapter, there's another example of this honor.
It says in verse number 17, let the elders that rule well be counted worthy of double
honor, especially they who labor in the word and doctrine, for the scripture saith, thou
shalt not muzzle the ox that treadeth out the corn, and the laborer is worthy of his
reward.
So again, honoring the elder has to do with basically him getting the reward of his labor
or the laborer is worthy of his hire, the Bible says, and not to muzzle the ox that
treads out the corn.
But is that what we mean by honor today?
No, not so much.
Now that definition though has always been a part of the word honor because honor has
to do with weight.
Okay.
And if we were to go deep into the etymology of this word and the morphology of the word
honor, you know, you can understand that there's a old English word and old English is going
back like a thousand years to when English was a purely Germanic language before the
French invaded England and Latinized it.
But there's an old English word, kronrada, okay, and this old English word was used for
tribute or taxes that were paid.
Kronrada is when they're basically paying money to the king or the sovereign or the
lord of the manor or whatever, okay, so that's what that word meant a thousand years ago.
And you can see how that would evolve into our current meaning of honor because of the
fact that, you know, you're honoring the king or honoring the ruler but part of that's paying
tribute unto him.
And also when we think of money, it's weight, right?
Because back then it was coins.
There was no paper money.
So when money was paid in gold and silver and copper and things like that, you know,
then it actually has weight.
So when we think of honoring someone as far as giving them respect, well, what are we
saying when we respect someone?
We're basically giving weight to their opinion.
We're having a heavier view of that person, not a lightly esteemed person, right?
Someone who is lightly esteemed is someone who we don't have respect for and someone
who has a lot of gravity or, you know, we'll sometimes say gravitas or weight.
And okay, that's way too much information about the word honor.
But if you just look at the Bible and look at 1 Timothy 5, I think it's pretty obvious
that when it says honor here, there's a financial component to that, to honoring him.
It's not just a lip service but it actually involves financing.
So when the Bible said honor thy father and mother, it's not just saying to respect
and obey them, although you should.
It's also saying that you financially care for them when they are old.
That's included in that commandment according to Jesus.
And this goes back to the last Sunday morning sermon about how the Ten Commandments are
very deep and we need to get the full meaning and expand on those commandments as Jesus
did.
The Bible said to honor your father and mother but you're saying you don't have to take care
of your parents when they're old.
You don't have to financially care for them and so you've made God's word void.
He's rebuking them.
But the other thing I want to point out back in Matthew 15, if you want to flip back there
and I got to hurry for sake of time because of the announcements going long.
But in Matthew chapter 15, notice how right after he rebukes them for their bad attitude
toward their parents, he then turns around and says in verse 8,
You know what?
I believe that people who have a bad attitude toward their parents are very likely to have
a bad attitude toward God.
Why?
Because God is our Father which is in heaven, that's why.
And that's why I believe that when God gave us the Ten Commandments, there are really
two sections to the Ten Commandments.
I believe that there are five of those commandments that have more to do with our relationship
with God and five of those commandments have to do with our relationship with our fellow
man.
Because they're briefly comprehended in love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, that's
the first five, and love thy neighbor as thyself, that's the last five.
Because what are the last five commandments?
Thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not commit adultery, thou shalt not steal, thou shalt
not bear false witness against thy neighbor, and thou shalt not covet.
Those all have to do with our neighbor, how we treat our fellow man.
What are the first five commandments?
No other gods before me, thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, thou shalt not
take the name of the Lord thy God in vain, remember the Sabbath to keep it holy, and
honor thy father and mother.
So where does honor thy father and mother belong?
Is it with the first sequence or is it with the latter?
I think it has to do with our relationship with God because I think that the way that
we respect our parents has a lot to do with how we respect God.
Because God is our Father which is in heaven, hallowed be his name.
And so we need to remember that and today we live in the last days where the Bible prophesied
in 2 Timothy chapter 3 verse 2, you don't have to turn there, that men would be lovers
of their own selves, they would be covetous, that they would be boasters, proud, blasphemers,
disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy.
Romans chapter 1 when he describes the reprobate, he describes that the reprobate is involved
in all kinds of other more minor sins as well and one of the things the reprobate is involved
in is being disobedient to his parents.
You know and it makes sense because if he hates God, who else do you think he hates?
He probably hates his parents.
I'll bet you that the average reprobate would probably admit to hating their parents.
They'd probably just flat out tell you that they hate their mom or hate their dad or hate
their parents.
That would make perfect sense because there is a correlation between how we feel about
our parents, how we respect our parents and how we respect the Lord God himself.
So it's very important that we honor our father and mother.
Go to Ephesians chapter 6 if you would, Ephesians chapter number 6.
The title of the sermon is Responsibilities of Parents and Children.
So far we've seen that children have a responsibility to their parents.
They have a responsibility and you know the Pharisees wanted to shirk that responsibility
but Jesus rebuked them and said, you don't love the Lord.
Your heart is far from him, why?
Because of the fact that they wanted to negate the command specifically about honoring their
parents.
So there is a responsibility.
How else do we know that there's a responsibility of children to their parents?
Because he said in 1 Timothy 5, we kind of just breezed through it when I was there,
but he said that they should requite their parents.
Let them learn first to show piety at home and to requite their parents for that is good
and acceptable before God.
What does it mean to requite?
Well to requite means to repay.
If I'm requiting you, it means that I owe you something and I'm paying a debt.
And so the Bible says that we are to requite our parents, meaning that we owe them something.
So our parents conceived us, our mother gave birth to us, our parents raised us, took care
of us when we couldn't take care of ourselves.
And when we grow up and if our parents ever get in a situation where they are old and
unable to care for themselves, we should step in and care for them the way that they cared
for us.
That is how we requite our parents.
And look, just the fact that the word requite is used is proof that we owe them something
or that would not be the right word.
That's a debt that's being paid.
And again, it's not that the Bible is archaic, it's that people's vocabulary is too small.
Requite is not an archaic word, honor is not an archaic word.
These are just words that we need to learn as Bible-believing Christians as we study
the Word of God and get a little bit smarter and not follow the world down a path toward
ignorance and shallowness and just fast food, video games, TV, movies, Hollywood and just
being dumb.
Okay, let's get some smarts, amen?
Requite is a perfectly good English word.
There's nothing wrong with the Bible, there's something wrong often with the person reading
the Bible and their grasp of our language, English.
It's a great language, amen?
So there's a responsibility.
Look at Ephesians chapter 6 verse 1.
We see there's a responsibility that's a two-way street between parents and children.
Children owe their parents something, parents owe their children something.
It says in Ephesians chapter 6 verse 1, children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is
right.
Honor thy father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise, meaning that
it's the commandment in the Ten Commandments that has a little promise associated with
it, that it may be well with thee and that thou mayest live long on the earth.
Look, I don't know about you, I want to live long on the earth and I certainly want it
to be well with me.
Then you know what I better do?
I better honor my father and mother.
I better be respectful to them, love them, thank them, and do good unto them any chance
I get if I want to live long, if I want to be blessed, then apparently I can't say enough
good things about them and do enough good things for them because I want God to bless
me by honoring my parents, okay?
That's a great promise.
Look at verse 4.
And ye fathers, now we see the responsibility of the fathers toward the children, ye fathers
provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the
Lord.
There's a responsibility of the children toward the parents to obey them as children, to honor
them, to care for them when they are old.
But then there's a responsibility of the parents toward the children to do what?
To take care of them, nurture them, raise them, bring them up in the nurture and admonition
of the Lord, lead them spiritually, but also to discipline them, okay?
Now how do we know that discipline is a responsibility or something that we owe our children?
Because the Bible says withhold not correction from the child.
Now what does it mean to withhold something?
It means that there's something that is due unto you, but it's not being given to you.
It's being held back, right?
Think about the withholding tax.
You earned that money, and your boss is reaching out to give you the money that you earned,
and it's withheld and sent to Uncle Sam, right?
That's the withholding tax.
Part of the money that you earned is being withheld from your paycheck.
It's being held back.
So when the Bible says withhold not correction from the child, it's basically saying, look,
you owe your children a debt.
You have brought them into this world, and it's your job to raise them, to bring them
up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, and to correct them and discipline them.
So the Bible says withhold not correction from the child, for if thou beatest him with
the rod, he shall not die.
Thou shalt beat him with the rod and shall deliver his soul from hell.
And so the Bible's clear that we're to spank our children, we're to give them corporal
punishment, we're not to just allow them to do whatever they want, but they are to be
trained and disciplined.
Now let me park it on this point for a moment here, because there are two wrong extremes
here.
Now the worldly extreme that we often focus on is this extreme of just anything goes,
not disciplining, no spanking, no corporal punishment, and they raise a bunch of criminals.
Okay?
We understand that.
But there is also an over-the-top discipline that can happen amongst Christians or non-Christians
that also should be rebuked, that is also dangerous, harmful, and destructive.
Because not only does the Bible command us to discipline our children, and it says, what
son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
I mean, if you're without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are you bastards and
not sons.
I mean, the Bible's clear that we must discipline our children, but it also says, do not provoke
them to wrath.
And this is in the parallel passage in Colossians chapter 3 as, do not provoke them to anger.
Because anger and wrath are the same thing, amen?
Wrath is just a stronger word, but they're both the same thing.
Look, the Bible tells us not to provoke our children to wrath, not to provoke them unto
anger, to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
And the Bible says, thy gentleness hath made me great.
And so we don't want to go over-the-top on discipline.
And believe me, there are people who have.
And by the way, let me just say this.
Many of the freaks and weirdos that we have thrown out of this church who have been exposed
as Judases and reprobates have been the biggest guilty examples of this kind of stupid over-the-top
ridiculous discipline.
Let me just give you some examples of this.
There was a guy in our church, and it's funny, this guy and his wife, they must have told
this story to a bunch of people.
I didn't hear about it until after he was thrown out of the church, but I had several
people come to me and tell me the same exact story about how, oh yeah, he would tell them
this about his discipline of his kid.
I mean, this guy had just a little baby, little toddler, and is just over-the-top discipline.
He said that in order for the toddler, not even a toddler, it was like a crawling infant,
to get its baby bottle and be fed, he made it crawl across the room to its baby bottle
because if you won't work, then you shouldn't eat.
That's the kind of stupid crap that comes from a reprobate mind, psycho-reprobate mind
that basically doesn't understand the Word of God.
Because the natural man can't receive the things of the Spirit of God, there's foolishness
under him, neither can he know them.
So it's like he reads the Bible and gets this warped interpretation.
Hey, idiot, the Bible says if any man will not work, it doesn't say a baby has to work
for their food.
I guess that's going to be a popular onesie now, will work for food onesie.
It's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
This same person bragged about how, oh, his kid craps his pants when he comes toward it
to discipline it.
You're a sick individual.
You're a weirdo.
That is sick.
That is just an over-the-top, ridiculous, abusive discipline when your kid's so scared
of you that it just soils itself.
As a toddler or a baby, I mean, what is wrong with people?
This is not the right kind of discipline.
We're supposed to love our children.
Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
And by the way, one of the fruit of the Spirit is gentleness, gentleness, okay?
Now look, I'm not saying not to discipline your children.
I'm not saying not to chasten and chastise them, but, oh, you can go over the top as
people have proven, you weirdos.
And you know what I've also noticed is that several of the people that we threw out of
the church were the same people that would go around always just with a wooden spoon
hanging out of their pocket and just showboating, just whipping their kid in church, just spanking
it in front of everybody, hey, look at me, everybody, I'm spanking my kid, everybody.
And you know what I've noticed?
That the people who grandstand the most about disciplining their kids usually have the brattiest
kids.
You know what I'm talking about.
And look, I've realized that there are some times that you have to spank your kid in public.
I get that.
Every once in a while, there's a situation, but you know, most discipline should probably
take place at home, okay?
But there are times when you're out and about and, yeah, you've got to discipline.
You've got to take care of it right then and there.
You know, a normal person is as discreet about that as possible.
You know, take them aside and deal with them in private or whatever.
But it seems like certain people, they just want to show, hey, everybody, look at me,
this is me disciplining my kid.
There's something weird about that.
I don't like it.
I don't think it's right and I think it's a strange and it's just kind of an interesting
coincidence that a lot of the people who were the biggest showboating, loud spankers and
making sure everybody sees me spanking my kid in the back of the auditorium or whatever
are the same people who ended up being Judases and weirdos.
And you hear these weird stories about their parenting after the fact.
Look, folks, we need to love our children, try to protect their dignity as much as possible,
and yes, discipline them, but be gentle and don't go over the top.
Don't be crazy.
Don't get weird about it, okay?
And look, there's a balance, folks.
Obviously there are some people who are too gentle.
They go too easy.
You know, you don't want to just give little Johnny a little slap on the wrist.
Obviously he needs real discipline.
You know, it needs to make an impression.
But you don't have to just grandstand about it and just this over the top, you know, beat
them till they go limp or whatever garbage.
And you know what?
Let me just call out the name Michael Pearl, okay?
And I don't know, who knows who Michael Pearl is?
It's not somebody from our church, don't worry.
It's not somebody that we threw out.
It's this guy who's really popular amongst a lot of homeschoolers across America as a
guru for raising children.
He's some kind of a full-time dad or guru or whatever.
He looks like a homeless person.
And look, I'm all for having a beard, okay, men?
I've got a beard.
I'm glad you have a beard.
Don't look like a homeless person, okay?
He looks like a homeless person.
And he wrote this book called To Train Up a Child.
It's the worst book on parenting on the planet.
If you have it at home, burn it and throw it in the trash, okay?
And people have literally killed their children after reading this book because they beat
them to death.
Because this book is such a lying piece of trash, you know what it ought to be called
is the Billy Mays Guide to Rearing Children.
Who knows who Billy Mays is?
You know, this is amazing, you know?
Look at this chamois.
It just fixes everything about your life, you know?
The Hercules hook or whatever.
This guy basically just makes all these promises how, oh, if you follow his method, it's only
going to take a couple days and your kids are going to be totally obedient.
And we should expect 100% obedience from our children.
He compares children to dogs.
And he says, well, look at these seeing eye dogs.
I mean, one or two years and they're perfectly obedient 100% of the time.
And children are so much smarter than dogs, so you know, you're going to be able to.
And he says that, you know, these seeing eye dogs are doing one thing, teenagers should
be able to do so much more and toddlers can do more.
It's so dumb because guess what, a dog is an animal.
You can train a dog to be perfectly obedient, you understand?
You can train a dog to be obedient 100% of the time.
It will always do what you expect it to do.
You cannot do that with a human being.
You can't.
Why?
Because human beings aren't dogs, okay?
There are things that dogs can do that human beings can't do.
You know, you can't do everything that a whale can do either.
There are some things that a horse and a whale and a giraffe can do that you'll never be
able to do, okay?
Because guess what, people are people and dogs are dogs.
You know what, yeah, you can train your robot of a dog to just do exactly what it's told
but human beings are not robots and they're certainly not dogs and they have free will.
And here's the proof, all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.
There's not a just man upon the earth that doeth good and sinneth not.
So where are all, you know, where are all these people that have been trained to perfection?
Doesn't exist.
I'm not trained to perfection, you're not trained to perfection but you know what, I'd
rather have my 10 kids than 10 dogs that are all perfectly obedient and perfectly trained
and you know what?
I'd rather trust a seeing eye dog to lead a blind person around than for a teenager
to lead a blind person around.
Who do you think is going to do a better job leading a blind person around town?
I would trust the dog over the teenager any day of the week.
But I'd rather have a teenager, amen?
I'd rather have a teenager with a soul that's going to lead them to the pizza place and
the arcade joint or whatever, you know?
But they're a soul, they're a human being, right?
The dog is just going to do everything perfect.
We're not raising dogs, friend, we're raising children.
So as Michael Pearl is a weirdo, his teachings are garbage and a lot of people take his teachings
and take them to dangerous lengths because he's just telling you, you got to keep spanking
them until they obey no matter what, you know?
And the thing is, it's wrong.
Now he has all these, in current editions of the book, he has all these disclaimers.
Like don't just keep beating your kid forever, you know?
But the dumb thing is that the disclaimers contradict the book because the text of the
book is all the same.
So the book's telling you, oh yeah, don't, you can't stop whipping them until they
relent but then it's like, oh, by the way, don't keep whipping them until they relent
because, you know, it could lead to death or injury or whatever.
Am I right?
I mean, it doesn't make any sense, okay?
So what we need to understand is that, you know, children are human beings, we're to
love them, yes, discipline them and don't be soft on parenting, obviously you need to
give serious discipline when necessary but use your brain, use common sense, balance
that with gentleness, love, affection and discipline within reason not to injure or
harm your child but only to give them a negative consequence so that they can learn their lesson
and become a better person and obey and do the right things, okay?
So there is an over the top discipline practiced by freaks and weirdos.
Go if you would to Proverbs chapter 1, Proverbs chapter number 1.
And really, you know what, we could really just sum up this whole sermon in just a couple
statements and just say, you know what, you need to love your parents and parents need
to love their children.
I mean, that's the main thing.
That's the missing ingredient, friend.
If you truly love your children from the bottom of your heart and you do your best to follow
the Bible, you're going to be a good parent, okay?
And if you, child, truly love your parents from the bottom of your heart and follow the
Bible to the best of your ability, you're going to be a great son, you're going to be
a great daughter.
That's what it really comes out.
You're going to have real love in your heart for your parents or for your children and
you have to have a desire to follow God's word.
You know, if you have those two things, you're going to succeed in this area.
But I'm just trying to give you some specific things that the Bible teaches.
You know, this isn't in my notes but this just popped into my head.
So I just want to read this scripture to you while you're turning to Proverbs 1.
You know, Malachi chapter 4 just popped into my head because Malachi chapter 4 says in
verse 5, behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and
dreadful day of the Lord and he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children and
the heart of the children to their fathers lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.
That is the last verse of the Old Testament.
The last verse of the Old Testament says he'll turn the heart of the fathers to the children
and the heart of the children to their fathers lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.
Do you think that's significant when that's the last verse of the Old Testament?
That the parents' hearts would be toward their children and that the children's hearts
would be toward their parents?
That's pretty high on God's list.
That's an important thing, isn't it?
Very significant.
John the Baptist was supposed to do that.
He's supposed to turn the hearts of the parents to the children and the children to the parents.
Very important.
Let me ask you this.
Do you honor your father and mother, child, young person, or even adult?
Do you honor your father and mother?
And parents, do you love your children?
And I'm not just saying just to discipline them, but do you love them, nurture them,
care for them, raise them right?
Very important.
Look at Proverbs chapter 1 verse 8.
It says, my son, hear the instruction of thy father and forsake not the law of thy mother.
For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head and chains about thy neck.
And you know what the Bible's saying here is not just for a little kid to obey their
parents.
Obviously, that's the primary meaning.
Little children need to be obeying their parents.
But you know what?
Even when we get older, we should not forsake the law of our mother is what the Bible's
saying.
Now, obviously, when we're an adult, our relationship with our parents is different.
As an adult and, you know, I'm married and I have 10 children, obviously, my parents
aren't telling me to clean my room and brush my teeth and eat my vegetables and what I
can and can't do.
That's not the relationship that I have with my parents anymore.
Because I'm all grown up.
I've got a family of my own now.
I've left father and mother.
I'm cleaving into my wife.
But you know what?
Does that mean I'm going to forsake the law of my mother?
What does that mean?
That means that the things that my mother taught me and trained me, right things, godly
things, good things, I need to hang on to those things.
And not be like, all right, I'm 18, time to forsake the law of my mother.
I just got married, time to forsake the law of my mother.
No, no, no, obviously, she's not commanding me anymore.
I'm no longer under her authority in the home.
But you know what?
The things that she's taught me are still valid.
Right?
I mean, look, my mom taught me when I was a kid not to eat after touching the toadstools
in the backyard.
Because they're poisonous.
She said if you handle those toadstools, you know, because you're a kid, you're playing
with toadstools in the backyard.
Who knows what a toadstool is?
It's like a mushroom, except it's poisonous.
Okay?
Now, I had never seen one in Arizona until a couple weeks ago.
I saw one growing in a crack in the pavement.
I saw a toadstool, and I immediately thought of my mother, and I thought, you know what?
I remember mom telling me, Stephen, go wash your hands because you've been playing with
those toadstools.
That's poisonous.
If you eat with that on your hands, you're eating poison.
And I said, well, am I going to die, though?
And she said, yes, you will die.
She said that when I'm making a tuna sandwich and I put, you know, one utensil into the
mayonnaise and another one into the tuna, she said, don't get any tuna in the mayonnaise
or the whole family will die.
Okay?
You know, we didn't go through mayonnaise that fast, apparently.
So, you know, she said, look, you know, you need to use a different fork in the tuna,
and don't put that tuna fork into the mayonnaise, no.
You're cross-contaminating.
Look, my mom taught me some serious food safety.
That's just a small sampling.
I'm not just going to get up and say, hey, I'm out of the house now.
It's time for a toadstool mayonnaise and tuna sandwich, and I don't care what she said.
It's my life.
Okay.
And that's a stupid example.
But you know what?
My parents taught me all kinds of good things.
My parents taught me biblical doctrines.
They taught me about the gospel.
They taught me doctrines about the judgment seat of Christ.
They taught me doctrines about end times.
They taught me doctrines about soul winning.
They taught me the reprobate doctrine.
All right?
Get mad at them if you don't like that reprobate doctrine.
I learned that from my dad.
I can't even count how many times my dad expounded to me Hebrews chapter 8 and explained that
reprobate concept to me.
And there are so many things that I learned from my parents, biblical things and just
life things, just things about life, just things about money or things about food or
just things about just wisdom, right?
Just life wisdom and learning about, you know, gluttony or about drunkenness or just,
you know, just anything, right?
I mean, I could go on and I could just list all the different rules in my house of, you
know, you're only allowed to eat four cookies at a time and, you know, all these cereals
only for breakfast and all this, you know.
Now, here's the thing.
Look, obviously they're just trying to keep me healthy and safe and take care of me.
And you know, they taught me to go to church Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night.
They taught me to be King James only.
You know, they taught me all these wonderful things.
Okay, it would just be stupid to just leave the house and be like, all right, I'm going
to push reset on my brain and learn everything myself the hard way.
Wouldn't that be stupid?
No, what I should do is take what my parents taught me and build on that knowledge and
not forsake the law of my mother, not despise my mother when she's old, not forsake the
commandments and teachings of my father, but to keep those things with me as a guideline.
And look, this is the way I live my life.
I go through life and I start with, and we were just talking about this before the service,
my default belief on anything is what my parents taught me, what the people who won me to Christ
taught me, what my church growing up taught me, what the Baptists of old have believed.
That's my default.
That's my baseline.
I don't just go into life a blank piece of paper.
Okay, there are things that my parents taught me, wisdom from elders, pastors, parents,
teachers, godly examples in my life.
That's the starting point.
Now look, are my parents infallible?
No.
Was my pastor infallible?
No.
Am I infallible?
No.
Your pastor's not infallible.
Nobody's infallible.
But you know what?
Your default should be to listen to your parents and listen to your pastor and listen to godly
role models in your life and listen to the person that won you to the Lord.
That's a good starting point.
Not to have to learn everything yourself the hard way and reinvent the wheel.
No, you start with that default.
You start with that baseline.
Now look, over the course of my life, I've read the Scripture, studied the Bible, let
the Holy Spirit be my teacher, and I came to realize, hey, some of the things I was
taught growing up are not right.
Or some of the doctrines that I heard in church were not right.
And you know what?
I have to change and go with what the Bible says.
Because the Bible supersedes my parents, the Bible supersedes church, the Bible supersedes
my pastor, the Word of God's the final authority.
But you know what?
A lot of people, they misunderstand that doctrine, and they take it to a stupid extreme of just,
I don't care what my parents say.
I don't care what the pastor says.
I don't care what Baptists believe.
I don't care what church says.
No, you ought to care what Baptists believe.
You ought to care what church says.
You ought to care what your parents say.
You ought to care what the pastor says.
And you ought to take that all in and say, you know what?
That's my starting point.
That's my default.
And that teaching is true until proven to be false.
Yes.
It's true until it's proven false.
It's not just everything my parents ever told me is suspect.
I'm going to go get a book on toadstools myself.
I'm just going to trust my mom that toadstools aren't edible.
They're not the same thing as, they might look like a mushroom, but they're not, it's
a fool's mushroom is what that is.
Don't put that on your pizza.
Now I've never studied toadstools in my life.
I could not give you the Latin name of toadstool.
I don't know the genus phylum species kingdom order.
I don't know any of that.
I don't know anything about toadstools except that my mom said they're poisonous.
Don't touch them.
Don't eat them.
And if you wash your hands before eating, you get off that toadstool residue.
You know what?
I don't care.
Now look, if somebody comes to me and presented me facts that toadstools are nutritious and
healthy and they showed me some double blind controlled studies of that and you know, then
okay, then I'll have to reevaluate my view on toadstools.
I mean I don't think they were the good guy in Super Mario Brothers or were they?
Or was it?
That was the good guy, wasn't it?
Somebody help me out.
Well those goombas were bad, right?
Weren't they mushrooms?
No, I think they were toadstools.
Wasn't there like a princess toadstool or something?
I don't know.
Who cares?
All right.
But you know what?
Mario taught me one thing.
I went with what my parents said.
You know, I didn't make Super Mario Brothers my default.
I made my parents teaching.
I don't care if toadstool is one of the good guys in Super Mario 2 that you can choose
to be.
I didn't play as toadstool.
I played as Luigi, okay?
So and you know, I thought that, well all right, never mind.
The point is though, what our parents teach us is our baseline.
What the church teaches should be our baseline.
What the pastor teaches is our baseline.
And you know, if there's a compelling reason to switch because the Bible says clearly,
then switch.
But don't just be carried about with every wind of doctrine.
Just toss like the sea.
No, you know what?
If you grew up in a Christian home, build on the foundation that your parents gave you.
But even if you grew up in a heathen home, I guarantee you there are probably some good
things that your parents taught you.
You say, well not me.
My parents didn't teach me anything.
You wouldn't even be here.
If your parents were as bad as you say they were, how'd you end up here?
How'd you end up at Faith Ward Baptist Church serving the Lord?
They must have taught you something good.
They must have done something right because you're here.
Don't just totally throw them under the bus.
Now look, I understand maybe your parents are in a false religion.
Maybe your parents aren't saved.
You know, maybe your parents have gone down a dark path in their life.
But you know what?
You should just try to find the good things that they taught you and stick to those things.
And hang onto those things.
And you know, any chance you have to be respectful, kind, and generous to your parents, take it.
Now look, I understand there could be exceptions to the rule where your parents are just literally,
they've just become these horrible, God-hating reprobates or sodomites or something.
That's not, if we ask for a raise of hands, there's probably nobody in here or one person,
one person would raise their hand and say that.
And look, I do know godly Christians who do have a parent that was a good parent growing
up but they never got saved and they did become a reprobate and now they are a sodomite going
from dude to dude to dude to dude to dude as sodomites do.
And I mean, that's just disgusting.
And I don't expect that child to honor that parent.
But that's a super tiny percentage.
You know and I know that your parents are nice people.
If they're saved, man, you ought to really honor and thank them and bless them and obey
the good things that they taught you growing up.
And if they're not saved, you could probably still find some good principles that they
taught you about eating or about life or about money or about health or something, for crying
out loud, some kind of a work ethic or something.
And you know, why don't you contact them and thank them for that.
You know, would it kill you, young adult, to contact your parents and say, hey, thank
you for everything that you do for me.
Thank you for raising me.
Thank you for the sacrifice that you've made for me.
Boy, it's good to talk to you.
Boy, it's good to see you.
You know, be nice to your parents.
Love your parents, amen.
Love your children.
Take care of your children.
It's a two-way street, isn't it?
Go to Proverbs 6.
I'll hurry up.
Because the lateness of the hour, Proverbs 6, the Bible says in verse 20, my son, keep
thy father's commandment and forsake not the law of thy mother.
Bind them continually upon thine heart and tie them about thy neck.
When thou goest, it shall lead thee.
When thou sleepest, it shall keep thee.
And when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee.
What?
What is going to keep you?
What is going to wake you?
What is going to talk with you?
What is it?
It's your father's commandment and the law of your mother.
That's what the Bible says.
Isn't that what it says?
That's the antecedent.
For the commandment is a lamp, and the law is light, and reproofs of instruction are
the way of life, to keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of
a strange woman.
Look, this is clearly talking to an adult.
Some little child isn't in danger of getting sucked in by the strange woman.
This is an adult young man who's in danger of being flattered and sucked in by the strange
woman and being enticed and seduced by her.
And he says, hey, don't forget what mom and dad taught you.
Let those things go with you even after you've left the home, even after you're out on your own.
Let those things guide you and keep you safe.
Last place, Proverbs 23.
Proverbs 23, verse 22, what are we talking about tonight?
The responsibilities of parents and children.
The children have a responsibility to love their children, raise them, feed them, clothe
them, educate them, discipline them, but not this over-the-top stupid discipline.
And, you know, if you actually love your kids, those kind of dumb things would probably not
even enter your mind, okay?
But children have a responsibility to their parents.
But also parents have a responsibility to their children.
It's a two-way street.
Children have a responsibility to obey, honor them, love them, and to take care of them
when they're old.
And treat them right, amen?
Proverbs 23, verse 22, hearken unto thy father that begat thee and despise not thy mother
when she is old.
So again, this isn't speaking to a child because this is a mother that's very old.
Don't despise your mother when she's old.
Buy the truth and sell it not.
It's a wisdom and instruction and understanding.
The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice, and he that begetteth a wise child
shall have joy of him.
Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bear thee shall rejoice.
My son, give me thy heart and let thine eyes observe my ways.
What's he saying?
Be like me, son.
Look, do you want your children to turn out right?
One of the best things you can do is be an example.
So you can say, observe my ways, but you know what else you can do is love your children
and actually care about them, spend time with them, nurture them, and so forth.
So really, it's all comprehended in love your parents, love your children.
And I have a good relationship with both my parents, and I have a good relationship with
all 10 of my children.
And I can honestly say I love them from the bottom of my heart.
I love both my parents and I love my children.
And you know what?
That's going to make for a good relationship right there when there's real love there.
And obviously, I'm fortunate to have Christian parents who love the Lord, love the Word of
God, and so forth.
Not everybody has that, but you know what?
You can still love your parents.
Are we commanded to love the lost anyway?
So you can still love your parents even if they're lost.
You can still be respectful to them even if they're lost.
You can still treat them well.
And do it as unto the Lord.
Do it as unto Christ.
And let me just stop and say one last thing is that if you have daughters, I think it's
very important for Dad to spend time with his daughters.
This is very important.
You know, and I can't really speak as an expert on this because none of my daughters are grown
yet.
My oldest children are boys.
My oldest are 17, 15, 13, but they're all boys.
And my girls are only 11, 9, 7, am I getting these ages a little odd, 11, 10, 7, all right?
I can tell you what year they're all born, but I can't keep track of the ages because
the ages keep changing too fast.
But I remember the years that they were born, 2001, 2003, 2004, 2007, 2008, 2010, 2012,
2014, 2016, 2018, all right?
I got that part down.
And I can do the math as necessary.
But here's the thing about daughters that I've observed, and again, you know, I don't
have the firsthand experience because my daughters are still young, but you know what I've noticed?
I've noticed that one of the biggest determining factors in whether girls grow up and go off
the deep end or not, a lot of it has to do with their relationship with their dad.
You know, when you see a girl that has a bad relationship with her dad, she's often going
to go off the deep end.
And when you see a girl that has a good relationship with her dad, she's probably much more likely
to grow up and live for the Lord.
Now obviously there are going to be exceptions, but I think that that is one of the biggest
deciding factors.
So if you're a parent and you have daughters, you need to make extra sure that you spend
time with your daughters and you show them a godly man in their life that's a leader
to them.
Why?
Because if daughters don't get any attention from their dad and are just ignored, they
don't feel loved or cared for by their dad, you know what, they're going to go seeking
that love and affection somewhere else and they can seek it from some guy that's going
to use that desire to take advantage of them physically.
And they're not even looking for anything physical.
You know, what are they looking for?
They're just looking for love and affection and a man in their life because it's their
missing dad is what they're really looking for.
But then when they go out and seek that, some man will use that to take advantage of
them physically and actually to commit fornication.
Very dangerous.
You know, you ought to take time to take your daughters out to eat or take them out on special
activities, take them on a bike.
It doesn't have to be anything expensive.
It's about spending time with them.
Take them out on a bike ride, take them out on a walk, take them out on a picnic, spend
time with them, take an interest in their lives.
And I think that that's important, that we love our daughters and take care of them.
And of course, love our sons and spend time with them as well and teach them how to be
a man.
But also, you know, to spend time with our daughters and make sure that they understand
that their parents love them and that they don't have to go looking for some stranger
or some weirdo just to fulfill their need to belonging.
That they have a family that they belong to, that loves them, and that gives them that
love that they're looking for.
Amen?
Let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer.
Father, we thank you so much for the relationships in our lives, Lord.
The husbands and wives, the parents, the children, Lord.
Please just help us to be the best possible children, parents, husbands, wives that we
could possibly be, Lord, and to love you with all our heart and to love our neighbor as
ourselves.
Amen.