Psalm 23 is one of the most famous passages in the Bible, of course.
Turn if you would to Ephesians chapter number 5 and I want to preach about being a Psalm
23 husband and I did a short version of this at the Burbank's wedding but I wanted to expand
on this and do a full sermon out of it because of the fact that this passage is such a powerful
passage.
It's a passage that everybody knows.
Psalm 23 is something that we've all heard, a lot of us memorized it when we were kids.
I know it was one of the first things that I ever memorized as a kid and there's so much
depth in the Bible.
It's amazing how you can read something over and over again and there's always more there.
You know I think about how many times I've read a chapter like Genesis chapter 1 but
then you're constantly reading it and finding new things and I want to point out first of
all in Ephesians chapter 5 starting in verse number 22 the Bible reads,
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he
is the savior of the body.
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands
in everything.
Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it.
So in this passage God uses Christ and the church as an illustration of husband and wife
and he says here that husbands should love their wives as Christ also loved the church
and that the wives should be subject unto their husband just as the church is subject
unto Christ in all things.
And by the way I want to point out you know we don't believe at our church in this idea
of a universal church made up of all believers.
That's what a lot of people think today and what it comes from is just a misunderstanding
of the word church.
If you let the Bible define the word church it's a congregation because in Psalm 22, 22
it says in the midst of the congregation will I sing praise unto thee and in Hebrews chapter
2 it says in the midst of the church I will sing praise unto thee quoting that verse.
So we let the Bible define itself a church is a congregation.
Are we congregated with all believers in the world right now?
Absolutely not.
You'll be out soul winning and somebody will tell you oh this is church us talking right
now this is church right no that's not church that's not an assembly of people or a congregation
of people and a lot of times people will say well you know we're the church meaning that
they can just go out and be by themselves somewhere and that's church.
No yes we are the church when we congregate when we assemble when we're here gathered
together we're the church but a lot of people have this idea of a universal church.
Now by the way the word Catholic means universal and so Catholic means universal the Protestants
came along and said well we don't believe in a visible universal church it's an invisible
you know so they believe in the invisible church but I believe in the literal local
church.
Now people will take a passage like this where it says Christ is the head of the church and
they'll say see that the church you know church is singular but here's the thing about that
it says the husband's the head of the wife is there only one wife?
Is there a universal wife?
So if it says the husband is the head of the wife what are we talking about?
That every husband is the head of his wife as an institution not a literal one husband
and one wife but rather that every husband is the head of every wife that you know that
he has he only has one of course I'm wearing that kind of weird but think about this Christ
is the head of every church is what it means you know in this church Christ is the head
of the church and if we were in another church Christ ought to be the head of that church
okay so it's not that there's a universal church part of the proof of that is that the
word church is more often than not plural in the New Testament so if if it's just one
universal church how could you have church as and yet the word church as is used more
in the Bible than the singular word church.
So what we have today in the world is not one church but church as now someday all believers
will be congregated together that's called at the rapture you know when we're all going
to be caught up together yeah then we're going to be united with all believers from all over
the world when we're all caught up together but until then no we're not united with all
believers we are in separate churches that has nothing to do with the sermon tonight
but I just want to throw that out there as we're looking at this passage.
That Christ and the church is a picture of husband and wife.
Now Jesus Christ said in John 10 verse 11 I am the good shepherd the good shepherd giveth
his life for the sheep and then he said in verse 14 I am the good shepherd and know my
sheep and of note of mind.
Let me point out he didn't say I'm a good shepherd he said I'm the good shepherd and
remember Psalm 23 one of the most famous passages in the Bible starts out saying the
Lord is my shepherd and Jesus said I'm the good shepherd and in Hebrews chapter 13 verse
20 it says now the God of peace that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus that great
shepherd of the sheep through the blood of the everlasting covenant.
So Jesus by the way that's a good proof of the deity of Christ because Jehovah the Lord
you know all capital L-O-R-D there in Psalm 23 verse 1 said the Lord is my shepherd and
then Jesus said I'm the good shepherd because he's the Lord.
Now if we go back to Psalm 23 let's see what we can learn from this passage if Jesus represents
the husband in the relationship right and if husbands are supposed to love their wives
as Christ loved the church then we as husbands should take an example from Jesus on how to
be a good husband right because we should look at how Jesus loves the church and then
that should be how we love our wives.
Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church.
Well in Psalm 23 we see Jesus Christ as the good shepherd and his love and care for the
church or a husband's love and care for the wife and I'll submit to you this and I know
this sounds maybe like a tall order for a little tiny chapter like Psalm 23.
I feel that Psalm 23 has all the elements that you need to be a great husband.
I think it's all right there in this passage even though Psalm 23 isn't traditionally a
marriage passage you know Ephesians 5 is where you turn or maybe you turn to Colossians 3.
Most people wouldn't think to turn to Psalm 23 to talk about marriage but I believe that
Psalm 23 contains all of the elements that you need to be a great husband and to love
your wife as Christ loved the church.
It's all right here in Psalm 23.
Now I have six points tonight because there are six verses and each verse gives a different
aspect of what we should be doing as husbands to love our wives and to be a Psalm 23 husband.
Now look at verse number one first of all it says the Lord is my shepherd I shall not
want.
Now let me start out by defining the word want for you.
It means to lack.
And he says I shall not want.
If you study every time the word want is used in the Bible it thinks it things that are
wanting are things that are lacking things that are missing.
And so when the verse says the Lord is my shepherd I shall not want what is he saying
I'm not going to lack anything I have everything I need.
So number one in order to be a great husband in order to be a Psalm 23 husband you have
to be a provider.
What does it mean to provide?
To make sure that your wife does not lack what she needs food and clothing.
Now in 1 Timothy 5 you don't have to turn there but the Bible says if any provide not
for his own and especially for those of his own house he had denied the faith and is worse
than an infidel.
So God commands us to provide for our household and to take care of our household.
The Bible says that Christ nourished and cherished the church.
Now let me ask you this, what's it mean to nourish food?
Nourishment is food.
You know, it's the job of the husband to provide food, to put food on the table, to provide
so that his wife will not want anything, that she will have what she needs.
And the Bible clearly states back in the book of Exodus, I believe it's in chapter 21, that
the husband must give his wife food, clothing and perform the duty of marriage, talking
about the physical relationship.
These three things must be done by every husband for his wife, provider with food, clothing
and a physical relationship.
That's what the Bible teaches in Exodus 21 and right here we see that the husband first
and foremost in this chapter needs to be a provider.
We live in a day where husbands don't want to provide for their wives.
A lot of deadbeat husbands out there, they don't want to work hard, they don't want to
pay the bills and sometimes there are even husbands that literally stay home and are
jobless and their wife goes out and makes all the money and that is a backward situation
that needs to be fixed as soon as possible if somebody's in that situation.
We as men say, ah, you know, you're old-fashioned traditional.
So we as men need to fulfill that role of being the provider and we need to wear the
pants in that family and let me tell you something, the one paying the bills is the one who makes
the rules.
That's just the way life works in general and we as men need to be a provider.
Our wives should be able to say, my husband is providing and I shall not want.
Now I'm not saying you're going to have caviar and everything else but I'm saying that it's
the husband's job to provide and make sure that his wife does not want and is not lacking
in what she needs.
Number two, look at verse number two.
It says, he maketh me to lie down in green pastures, he leadeth me beside the still waters.
Secondly, a husband should not only provide but he should provide peace and stability.
Peace and stability.
Have you noticed that sometimes when things go bad or you're in a crazy situation, sometimes
women tend to be more emotional than men and get a little more worked up and, you know,
come on ladies, you know it's true, you tend to panic a little more, get a little more
worked up and upset and it's our job as a husband to provide calm and stability and
to bring peace to the situation.
Now turn to Matthew chapter 8, let's see this from Jesus, but while you're turning there,
let me quote for you James 1-8, a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways and the Bible
says in the same passage, you know, let not that man think that he shall receive anything
of the Lord.
We should not be unstable.
Jacob said to Reuben in Genesis 49, unstable as water, thou shalt not excel.
If we're going to excel, we need to be stable.
The Bible says we should be steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord for
as much as we know that our labor is not in vain in the Lord.
We need to be stable, we need to be firm, we need to be like a rock, we need to be founded
on the rock of the Lord Jesus Christ and not be like water in the shifting sands.
We need to provide stability.
Listen to me, women today are looking for stability.
They want a husband to keep things stable and peaceful and calm and set their mind at
ease.
They want to be able to rely on their husband and fully trust in their husband.
Just like we trust in the Lord Jesus Christ to take care of us, women want to be able
to have a reliable husband that they can trust and one that's going to bring peace and stability.
Look at Matthew chapter 8 verse 24, it says, Behold that, you know, here we have Christ
and the church here.
It says, Behold, there arose a great tempest in the sea and so much that the ship was covered
with the waves, but he was asleep.
And his disciples came to him and awoke him saying, Lord, save us, we perish.
And he saith unto them, Why are you fearful, O ye of little faith?
Then he arose and rebuked the winds in the sea and there was a great calm.
Now here Jesus literally brings calm to the storm and he calms them down, he doesn't panic
and flip out, he calms them down and he brings literal calm.
But we as husbands need to spiritually be able to say, peace be still.
And just emotionally calm down the storm and calm things down and be peaceful.
We shouldn't be panicking and what are we going to do, I don't know what to do.
We need to have a game plan, we need to be a leader, we need to take charge, take responsibility
and try to bring stability that we might lead our wife beside the still waters and make
her lie down in green pastures and calm her down and create a peaceful and stable atmosphere
and bring stability to her life.
That's part of our job as a husband.
Number three, look at verse number three of Psalm 23.
Keep your finger in Psalm 23 because that's where we're going to be throughout the night.
It says in verse three, He restoreth my soul, he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
Number three, the husband is to be the spiritual leader.
He restores the soul and he leadeth in the paths of righteousness for the sake of our
Lord Jesus Christ.
That's what the husband needs to do.
Not only number one, be a provider.
Number two, bring peace and stability.
But number three, to be the spiritual leader.
Now the Bible even teaches in 1 Timothy chapter three that if a man know not how to rule his
own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?
That's why the pastor is supposed to be one that rule with well his own house and has
faithful children that are in subjection with all gravity because of the fact that ruling
your home is similar to being the pastor of a church in many ways because you're the shepherd
of the church.
That's what pastor means.
Remember the Lord is my shepherd, but the husband is the shepherd of the wife and in
a sense also, okay?
And the husband is the spiritual leader of the wife.
He's there to lead her in the paths of righteousness.
Now if you would, go back to Ephesians 5 because in Ephesians chapter 5 we see the same thing.
A lot of this stuff comes up again in Ephesians 5 and these two passages really complement
each other well, but in Ephesians chapter 5 it says in verse number 25, husbands love
your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it that he might
sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word that he might present it
to himself, a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that
it should be holy and without blemish.
Don't you see the spiritual leadership there of saying, hey, washing and cleansing and
purifying there, leading in a righteous path.
And we as men, whether you're a preacher or not, whether you're going into the ministry
or not, we as men should actually preach the Bible to our wives and to our children.
Even if you're not a pastor of a church, everybody's the pastor of their family.
You know, if you're a husband that's there, you need to be teaching your wife the Bible.
Say well, she knows more Bible than me, shame on you then.
It's time for you to catch up.
It's time for you to get caught up and get in this book and read it twice as much as
her and get to where she can ask you at home if she has a question because you know the
Bible better than her.
We as men need to take the lead spiritually and look, I don't want your wife to get less
spiritual.
I want you to get more spiritual and be the leader that you need to be and not let her
be the spiritual leader in the home and let her do that.
No, you need to take over, buddy, and you need to get in this book and you need to say
as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
You need to be leading in the paths of righteousness.
Number four, look down at your Bible there in Psalm 23.
It says in verse four, yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil for thou art with me, thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
He puts her in safety or he's a protector, according to verse four, where she, though
she walks through the valley of the shadow of death, will fear no evil because he is
with her.
It's our job as husbands to protect our wife.
Now, you don't have to turn there, but in John, turn if you would to Luke 22.
While you're turning there, I'll read for you some other scriptures.
But in John 10 14, Jesus said, I'm the good shepherd and know my sheep and am known of
mine.
As the father knoweth me, even so know I the father, watch this, and I lay down my life
for the sheep.
So Jesus said, I'm the good shepherd, I'll lay down my life for the sheep.
And you know what the Bible says in Ephesians 5 25, husbands love your wives, even as Christ
also loved the church and gave himself for it.
So shouldn't the husband be willing to lay down his life for the wife?
He needs to be willing to risk his life to protect his wife.
He needs to be a protector and to provide protection to the point where she will fear
no evil because he is with her and he's there to protect her.
Women should be able to rely on their husband to be a protector.
Now you say, well Pastor Anderson, you know, how am I going to be a good protector?
Well, you know, this could be different for different people, different situations, different
circumstances, different places that you live, different countries, different cultures, different
place.
But you know, if you think about it, you know, having a weapon might be advisable for being
a good protector.
Having a weapon would be a good place.
You know, and maybe even just learning some basic fighting skills.
Because you know, you say, oh man, that's so carnal and wicked and you know.
But the Bible says that God teaches my hands to war and my fingers to fight.
So there's nothing wrong with learning martial arts, with learning how to fight, learning
how to use weapons and so forth.
Now you say, well, but you know, no Christians.
I mean somebody, somebody looked at my gun today and said that it was an abomination.
Somebody, one of these protesters pointed at my gun and said, that's an abomination
to Jesus.
And you know, sodomy is an abomination, you know.
But they're pointing at this gun, you know, and saying it's an abomination.
People are being brainwashed today.
Now let me just show you some key scriptures on having a weapon, okay.
It says in Luke 22 verse 35, and you know, we got to go here because otherwise people
will say, you know, get out of the Old Testament, you know.
So I got to start with the New Testament.
Luke 22 35 says, and he said unto them, when I sent you without purse and scrip and shoes,
lacked ye anything?
And they said, nothing.
Then said he unto them, but now he that hath a purse, let him take it.
And likewise his scrip, and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment and buy one.
Is God against us owning weapons in the New Testament?
Jesus said, now that I'm going to the cross, I want you to have a sword, I want you to
have a weapon.
If you don't have a sword, sell your garment and buy one.
And you say, oh well that wasn't a literal sword, that was just the sword of the Spirit,
the Word of God.
But look what it says in verse 38.
It says, they said, Lord behold, here are two swords.
And he said unto them, it is enough.
So look, two swords is enough, zero is not enough, okay.
Now you say, well Pastor Anderson, you know, I can't afford a gun, you know, I can't do
it.
You know, then you need to at least have a good knife or a machete or a chainsaw, a battle
axe, you know, a ninja star, you know, I mean you need to have something.
It's a good idea to, I mean, you know what, you know what actually is a really effective
weapon?
A baseball bat.
Very cheap, very easy to get.
And you know what, when I was first married, my wife and I were very poor and I did not
have a gun for a long time.
We were too poor and guns are expensive and we barely got by.
And I had a metal baseball bat under the bed.
I mean that's an effective weapon.
I mean it's because, you know, if anything happens in the middle of the night, it's going
to be close quarters.
So you know, I just grab that metal baseball bat and start swinging it, you know.
Now I'm not saying bring a baseball bat to a gunfight, but I'm saying that a baseball
bat's better than nothing.
And you know, the Lord knows what you have and what you don't have.
He knows your financial situation.
And if you're poor and you can't afford a gun, then you could get some kind of a weapon
that's just, you know, I mean go find a lead pipe somewhere for crying out loud, you know.
I mean it wasn't that, somebody killed somebody with that in the board game Clue, right?
You know?
I mean what do you, the candlestick for crying out loud, you know, the rope, you know, use
something to be able to defend.
You know, you say, well I'm just going to rely on the Lord to protect me.
You know what?
People in the Bible always relied on the Lord to protect them, but they also built a wall
around the city when God told them to.
And they also built machines of war and they also learned how to use swords and shields
and things.
So yes, we're going to rely on the Lord.
Here's a key verse.
The horse is prepared against the day of battle, but safety is of the Lord.
So we should prepare, but at the end of the day we trust the Lord.
But that doesn't mean just no preparation and trust the Lord, no.
We do what we can humanly and then we rely on the Lord to do the rest, okay?
So I recommend owning a weapon.
Go to Deuteronomy 23, now that we've got the New Testament for you, let's go to the Old
Testament, Deuteronomy 23.
And look, if you say, well Pastor Anderson, what gun should I buy?
I think that the best gun is a shotgun.
It's cheap, it's effective, it's going to stop somebody.
You load it with buckshot, it's not going to spread out too crazy at close quarters.
You can do a lot with it.
And you say, well it only holds seven rounds, they call it rounds with a shotgun.
I'm not really a gun nerd, so I don't know all the right terminology, so excuse me if
I say anything wrong.
But I definitely know how to shoot my shotgun and I've shot it many hundreds of times and
I know that even though it only holds seven of the shotgun shells, each one has nine projectiles
in it if you're running buckshot.
So you can pull the trigger seven times and you're sending 63 projectiles, that's a lot
of lead, okay?
So don't you love to come to church and learn these things, you know?
So a shotgun is a good home defense.
Even Joe Biden wants you to have a shotgun, for crying out loud.
Our liberal Democrat Vice President tells you to buy a shotgun.
If he's telling you to do it, good night, just do it.
But until then, a baseball bat.
Until then, a butcher knife, I don't know, whatever.
Deuteronomy 23 verse 12, it says, Thou shalt have a place also without the camp, whither
thou shalt go forth abroad, and thou shalt have a paddle upon thy weapon, and it shall
be when thou wilt ease thyself abroad, thou shalt dig therewith and shalt turn back and
cover that which cometh from thee.
For the Lord thy God walketh in the midst of thy camp to deliver thee and to give up
thine enemies before thee, therefore thou shalt thy camp be holy, that he see no unclean
thing in thee and turn away from thee.
This is talking about basic camping sanitation, because the children of Israel are camping
for 40 years in the wilderness.
They are wandering in the wilderness, and they don't have a permanent dwelling place.
And he says, don't use the restroom in the middle of the camp.
You know, you always have to tell that to the new people that are camping.
Go far from the camp to use the restroom, okay.
So he says, don't ease yourself in the camp, you need to ease yourself abroad so you should
have a paddle on the back of your weapon so that you can dig a hole to deal with that
which goeth from you.
But here's the thing, he just assumes that you have a weapon.
He doesn't even tell you get a weapon and then put a paddle on it, he just says, put
a paddle on your weapon that you already have, because you're normal, because you're a man,
you have a weapon.
It's just like expected that you have a weapon.
Some people have said, you know, what was this weapon that you'd have a paddle on that
you could dig with?
Obviously it was the stock of their AK-47, you know, it had a paddle, you know, it had
a little shovel stock.
No I'm just kidding, obviously they didn't have guns back then, but whatever weapon,
you know, whatever the spear or whatever, you know, God said that they needed to have
something to dig with, you know, other than like a Swiss army knife, you know, because
a Swiss army knife has all these different tools and things.
So this is like the Swiss army weapon, the Israeli army weapon, where it had a little
thing to dig with, whatever the weapon.
I'm sure it was something sharp or something blunt and something that would hurt somebody,
whatever it was.
So anyway, I'm just showing you those scriptures to show you that Deuteronomy 23 kind of assumes
that the children of Israel had weapons, and then Jesus is saying, hey, if you don't have
one, go buy one.
And again, I'm not telling you to go put yourself in a financial strait and borrow money to
go buy weapons, you know, I'm not necessarily even telling you to sell your garment and
buy one, because honestly, you know, you can't really sell garments today for any amount
of money unless you're wearing a mink coat.
If you own a mink coat and you don't own a weapon, by all means, sell it and buy a shotgun.
But otherwise, you know, just get something and then you slowly upgrade your weapon.
Start with the baseball bat, you know, you move up to the katana, you know, you move
up to, you know, the shotgun, you know, and then the bazooka, no, I'm just kidding, you
know, you move up.
I mean, a shotgun is a great home defense.
The only downside of the shotgun is you can't really take it with you as easily as a handgun.
But you know, most of the time, most of the time you just need it for home defense, because
you know, at night is when evil people do their thing at night.
So anyway, be a protector, learn some basic fighting, learn, you know, just learn some,
don't just be so metro'd out that you can't even learn a little bit of fighting and learn
a little bit of shooting and just kind of man up a little bit and it's going to be good
for you anyway.
Your wife's going to like you more anyway when you do that.
And then you can be a better protector and then she can feel safe, for thou art with
her, okay?
But let's look at the next scripture, verse 5, it says, thou preparest a table before
me in the presence of mine enemies, thou anointest my head with oil, my cup runneth over.
You know, so far in the passage, we've seen that the husband should be a provider, he
should provide peace and stability, he should be the spiritual leader, he should be the
protector and give safety, but you know what, that's not enough to make you a great husband.
I mean, she, you know, just paying the bills, leading spiritually, protect, provide some
stability, calm down, you know?
That's not really everything it takes to be a good husband, is it?
Because where's the love, you know, where's the fun, where's the friendship, where's the
affection, where are the good times?
You know, being married is not just some business agreement, you know, you cook and clean and
I'll pay for everything, you know, put her there.
You know, that's not really the way that you propose, right?
Maybe that is how some of you propose, that's why you're still single.
But marriage also is, it's a friendship.
You know, in Song of, go to Song of Solomon.
In Song of Solomon, she talks about her husband and she says, this is my beloved and this
is my friend.
So she says, my husband is my friend.
And there's an aspect of marriage that is about pleasure and about joy and friendship
and having a good time and loving each other, not just, you know, I'm doing my job as a husband.
You know, you need to actually also bring some joy and happiness to your wife and as
the Bible says, cheer up your wife, bring some cheer to her life.
Now doesn't Jesus Christ bring joy unto us?
You know, He gives joy, unspeakable and full of glory.
And He is, the Holy Spirit is called the oil of gladness and the Bible says the joy of
the Lord is our strength.
So the Lord brings us joy.
We as a husband should try to strive and bring joy to the lives of our wife and make her
life enjoyable and give her pleasure and fun.
What does the Bible say in Psalm 23 verse 5?
You're in Song of Solomon, stay there.
But in verse 5 it said, thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies,
watch this, thou anointest my head with oil, my cup runneth over.
Now when I see the phrase, my cup runneth over, you know what that is?
That's extra.
That's not the minimum.
That's not just I shall not want because if I have a cup, then I shall not want.
When my cup runneth over, that's something extra.
That's additional blessing.
You know, being anointed with oil isn't something that you need for survival.
Survival is food and raiment.
Let us be there with content.
That's going to make us survive.
But anointing our head with oil is something that is for, you know, joy, the oil of gladness.
It's something that's, you know, cosmetic or something that is just for enjoyment or
beauty or something that is beyond just the, you know, survival, minimalistic needs of
our lives.
The oil and also just the cup running over and just, you know, preparing a table before
me.
When I read that verse, I think of spreading out a picnic because when I think of, you
know, walking through the valley of the shadow of death in the previous verse and then preparing
a table before her in the presence of the enemies, you know, it's like you picture being
in a valley and, you know, you make a picnic and you feel safe, you know, because thou
art with me.
That's what I get from this passage.
So I think verse 4 shows us the aspect of giving joy and pleasure, doing something special,
something above and beyond, something where the cup is running over, not just the minimum.
Forget half full, half empty, you know, the running over cup of bonus.
Song of Solomon, and really we could almost turn anywhere in Song of Solomon and we could
really read the whole book of Song of Solomon and see this aspect of marriage, the joy,
the fun, the excitement, the love, the friendship, the intimacy.
It's all there in the book of Song of Solomon.
But just, let's just look at a few highlights from chapter 7 and 8.
It's hard to pick a section, but just a few highlights, you know, verse 7, I'm sorry,
verse 9 of chapter 7 says, And the roof of thy mouth, like the best wine for my beloved,
that goeth down sweetly, causing the lips of those that are asleep to speak.
I am my beloved's, and his desire is toward me.
Come, my beloved, let us go forth into the field, let us lodge in the villages, let us
get up early to the vineyards, let us see if the vine flourish, whether the tender grape
appear and the pomegranates bud forth, there will I give thee my loves.
The mandrakes give a smell, and at our gate are all manner of pleasant fruits, new and
old, which I have laid up for thee, O my beloved.
So here we see just a sweet, loving relationship of planning, of a nice outdoor activity, where
they're going to go down to the fields and the villages and the vineyards, and they're
going to eat fruits together, new and old, that have been specially prepared.
Again, the image of a picnic kind of comes to mind.
And you know, a lot of people might think, a lot of husbands might think, man, you know,
forget the cup running over, you know, I'm just trying to pay the bills, we're just scraping
by.
But there's nothing wrong with that because, you know, I've been there.
I remember the early days of being married, that's how it was, and you're scraping by
and you're paycheck to paycheck, and you don't have money for the frills.
I remember a time when I could never afford to take my wife out to eat.
The times that we went out to eat was when we went with my parents and they were paying.
And every Friday night, we'd go over to my parents' house and we'd go out to eat with
my parents and they paid, and we would hang out at their house, and you know, that was
our out to dinner night because we couldn't afford to go out and go out to dinner because
we were just paying the bills, just getting by.
So look, God doesn't expect you to be a wealthy man, to be able to just wine and dine your
wife all the time and spend all this money.
But you know, this to me doesn't sound expensive.
You know, preparing some fruit, preparing some things, going out on a picnic, getting
outside.
By the way, a lot of people, they think that going on a date just equals out to dinner.
I'm going to go on a date with my wife, it's out to dinner.
I'm going to go out to date every week with my wife, it's out to dinner, out to dinner,
out to dinner, out to dinner, out to dinner.
And honestly, it's expensive.
Going out to dinner is expensive, and it also gets boring, and it's not usually the healthiest
option.
It's more nutritious, better food at home.
Now my wife and I do go out to dinner on dates from time to time, but honestly there are
a lot of other nice ways to have fun and be together and make memories than just going
out to eat.
You know, and I'm just thinking over the course of the last few months, and I'm thinking of
the most memorable, fun times that I had with my wife were not out to dinner.
She's like, no, it was the dinner.
You know, I can think of all kinds of fun, exciting memories that we made, you know,
going places and doing fun things, and none of it, none of the highlights were just going
out to dinner and spending a bunch of money.
In fact, the ones that we did that were the most fun were free or cost very little.
So it's not just about just blowing a bunch of money.
And some people, you know, now if you have money and you can blow some money, well women
like that too, okay, but I'm not going to lie to you up here, but there are a lot of
things that you can do to have, and by the way, you know, this could even go for singles
that are dating and things, you know, basically you don't always have to just blow a whole
bunch of money, and that doesn't always impress the girl anyway, you know, because anybody
can pull out, you know, their wallet and buy some expensive dinner.
You know, you could be a little more creative, do something a little more memorable, you
know, and you're saying, well, give me some examples, you know, I'm thinking back about
the dates and, you know, a lot of them I can't really share with you, you know, it's just,
it's too personal, it's too private, you know, and my wife's like, no, don't tell, you know,
some of it was illegal, no, I'm just kidding, but anyway, but it was creative and we had
fun, see me after the service, I'll tell you some ideas, but anyway, you know, we did all
kinds of cool stuff and fun stuff, but honestly, you know what, you can go out, you can get
outside and, you know, when you look at this, they're outside, aren't they?
In Song of Solomon 7, you can get outside and we have so many wonderful things in this
area to do outside in the winter in Phoenix, the weather's perfect every day, beautiful
weather every day, you can go hiking, you can go on a bike ride, you can go, well, we're
not that athletic, you know, but you can still go out and have a picnic, take a walk,
if you're not athletic enough to go on a walk, you need to get more athletic, okay, you can't
even walk, but you know, you can go out and basically, you know, spend time in the outdoors,
prepare a little picnic, same stuff you were going to eat at home, but when you chop it
up and get it all ready and take it out to a scenic place, it all tastes better, because
you're out in nature, you know, you can go all kinds, look, let me just give you some
places around here, Kiwanis Park is like a mile and a half from my house, I think it's
a mile, it's a couple miles from here, but Kiwanis Park has just all these beautiful
trails and the little artificial lake, they have little paddle boats you can rent and
pedal around the lake, Tempe Town Lake has the same thing, you've got all these bike
trails, you've got all these nature trails, you've got all these hiking trails, right
in Phoenix, so you don't have to spend a bunch of gas money, now in the summer you
have to go far to be outdoors, because it's so hot, but at this time of year, it's paradise,
go wherever you want, get out there, get outside, have some fun, and it's good for you anyway,
it's healthy anyway, you know, and be a little more creative of how to have a good time with
your spouse and go out and do events, you say, well, you know, I'm poor, and you know,
we can't afford a trip to the zoo, you know what the poor man's zoo is? The pet store,
you go to the pet store and you just don't buy anything, just, you look at all the animals
and treat it like a zoo, you know, or, we used to do that, when we had tiny little kids
and we were poor, we did that and they don't even know the difference, they're so little,
you know, little kids, you show them all the animals and the puppy, here's the reptile
house kids, you know, it's all Petco, it's all PetSmart or whatever, you know, and honestly,
sometimes my wife and I just go to the thrift store and just go shopping together at the
thrift store, you don't even have to buy anything, and if you do find something cool
and you end up buying it, it's only going to cost you a couple bucks anyway, and you
find all, and sometimes we just go there and laugh at stuff and just look at stuff and,
you know, look, it's our job as a husband to have some fun and bring some pleasure and
joy to the lives of our spouse, and not to just be this total fuddy-duddy, yeah, I'm
paying the bills, yeah, I've got the shotgun cleaned and loaded, and yeah, you know, I'm
providing stability here, okay, but are you, do you love your wife, you know, are you having
a good time with your wife, are you giving her any pleasure and joy and fun, that's also
part of your job too, I believe, and look, Song of Solomon is filled with it, every chapter,
these type of things, finish, let's keep reading into chapter 8, Song of Solomon chapter number
8, it says in verse 1, O that thou wert as my brother that sucked the breasts of my mother,
when I should find thee without, I would kiss thee, yea, I should not be despised.
I would lead thee and bring thee into my mother's house, who would instruct me, I would cause
thee to drink of spiced wine of the juice of my pomegranate.
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
I charge you, O you daughters of Jerusalem, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love until
he please.
Who is this that cometh up from the wilderness, leaning upon her beloved, I raised thee up
under the apple tree, there thy mother brought thee forth, there she brought thee forth that
bare thee.
Those are the good old days when people were born under the apple tree, instead of being
born at the hospital, but it says, verse 6, set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal
upon thine arm, for love is strong as death, jealousy is cruel as the grave, the coals
thereof are coals of fire, which hath the most vehement flame.
Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it.
If a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would be utterly condemned.
That sounds like a business arrangement to me, right?
Just a business arrangement, roommates, business arrangement, I'll pay the bills, you cook
and clean, no, this is a fiery relationship, you know, this is love and affection and good
times and passion and it's our job as a husband to provide these things for our wife and to
lead the way in this area as well, not only to be a spiritual leader, but also to lead
the way to make sure that you have a good marriage and a good marriage, in my opinion,
is not just defined by no fighting or defined by we're still married, you know, or defined
by whatever.
You know, I'm striving for a Song of Solomon type marriage and a Psalm 23 type marriage
where the cup runs over and again, you know, no marriage is ever going to be perfect.
Marriage has its ups and downs and that brings me to my final point, point six.
Look at Psalm 23 verse six, it says, surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the
days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Who does the Lord Jesus Christ represent?
The husband, right?
So if I'm going to dwell in the house of the Lord forever, you know, she, the wife could
say, hey, I'll dwell in the house of my husband forever.
You know what this is?
The husband needs to be there permanently and provide security.
Thank God that we have eternal security.
Thank God that we have eternal life.
Thank God that Jesus will never leave us, go to Hebrews 13, last place we're going to
work, that he'll never leave us nor forsake us.
But our wife should know that we are never going to leave her and we should provide permanence
where she can say, surely goodness and mercy shall follow me and I'll dwell in the house
of my Lord forever.
I'll dwell in the house of my husband forever.
Permanent security is what that last scripture teaches because marriage is going to have
its ups and downs, my friend.
If you think you're just going to be living a Song of Solomon lifestyle every day, you
know, that's unrealistic.
And if you wives are sitting there thinking, well, my husband's not doing that, you know,
well, look, it's not going to be like that every day, folks.
If you're a husband that expects that or if you're a wife that expects that, you're living
in a dreamland, you're watching too much TV, you're watching too many romance movies, you
know, you're getting all these crazy ideas in your head that it's just every day is just
like the day we first met.
You know, every day is like we're newlyweds.
No, that's not life, that's not real.
In real life there are going to be ups and downs, okay?
But that's where the commitment comes in that says till death do us part.
I will never leave.
Look at Hebrews 13, 4, marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled but whoremongers
and adulterers God will judge.
Let your conversation be without covetousness and be content with such things as you have
for He hath said I will never leave thee nor forsake thee.
Why follow up a statement about marriage in verse 4 with that statement in verse 5?
I'll tell you why.
Because the number one thing that God said not to covet is what?
Your neighbor's wife.
That's the number one thing.
So He says marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled but whoremongers and adulterers
God will judge.
Let your conversation be without covetousness and be content with such things as you have.
You know, one of the number one things you should be content with is your wife.
And ladies should be content with your husband.
And so the contentment in marriage is going to lead us not to covet someone else's spouse
and then remember, hey, he'll never leave me nor forsake me.
Or hopefully you husbands can think of your wife that she'll never leave you nor forsake
you.
It's permanent.
And you know what?
That's what I love about being married is just the permanence, the security of it.
You know, I would hate to be in a relationship where I felt like I was on trial all the time
where, you know, if I don't do it right, if I don't play my cards right, she's going
to be gone.
Or if she doesn't play her cards right, she's constantly thinking my husband's going to
leave me.
You know what?
It's good to know that you're just both there for each other for life and you're never going
to leave and you have that security and that stability and that permanence and you can
really open up and be friends and have a good, and trust is what I'm talking about.
Trust is a key component.
But how can you trust someone that won't even put a ring on it?
And you're going to sit there and move in with him and, you know, sit there and open
up to him.
Look, you're foolish.
Don't you dare.
First of all, fornication's a wicked sin.
But second of all, as a young woman, do not, do not go to bed with a man that you're not
married to.
You're foolish if you do.
Because fornication is not equal love.
Fornication does not equal commitment and marriage.
And you know what?
You need to wait until you get married.
Because there are a lot of guys that'll sit there and, oh yeah, we're going to get married
and oh yeah, we're going to, I love you so much.
You know, but until it's official, you don't know that that commitment's real.
A lot, sometimes it's just a lot of talk and then he's gone or she's gone or whatever.
You know, it needs to be official.
You need to be married.
You know, even just from a practical standpoint.
But forget that.
God said he'll kill you a lot of times.
You know, I mean a lot of times he killed people in the Bible because they committed
fornication.
You know, I mean God said that he'll punish it severely.
Whore mongers and adulterous God will judge.
Now a lot of people committed fornication in the Bible and they didn't get killed, but
you know what?
A lot of people got killed.
God killed 23,000 people in one day, the Bible says.
First Corinthians 10, it says that's an example for us, where God poured out his judgment
upon fornication.
So a lot of good reasons not to commit fornication, my friend.
But we need a marriage that's permanent and that's secure.
And marriage is going to go through ups and downs.
There are going to be times when your marriage is going great.
Other times where it's the commitment that's keeping you together.
But you know what?
You ride it out.
You ride out the rough times.
And a lot of single people are thinking like, we're never going to have rough times.
Newlyweds are thinking that, those that are engaged, those who are young and saying, when
I marry my wife, it's going to be butterflies and unicorns and, you know, and there's never
going to be a bad day.
And we're going to wake up every morning and sing love songs to each other.
And we're going to go to sleep in each other's arms and we're going to wake up together.
And you know, a dove is going to fly out the window of our white sheets, of our white bed
and the white bedroom and the white drapes and, you know, I'm going to step out onto
the porch and open the windows onto the balcony of our terrace condominium.
And the sun's going to shine in and my husband's going to wake up to the smell of bacon and
eggs and every, you know, get real.
Now look, sometimes my marriage is like that.
I'm serious.
It really is sometimes.
I'm kind of spoiled, you know, and my, I mean, my wife's brought me breakfast and bed more
times than I can count.
Okay.
My wife's a wonderful, amazing wife, but you know what?
It's not always like that.
Sometimes it gets ugly.
I'm just kidding.
But yeah, no, I'm not kidding, actually, you know, sometimes, sometimes it gets ugly.
I mean, it's just life, life gets ugly.
Sometimes life can be rough and people are stressed out and your wife's stressed out
and you're stressed out and you're going through bad things and you're mad and they're mad
and there's anger and then there's, you know, hormones, you know, on the wife side of things,
you know, going like this all the time, you know, and it, you know, look, life is never
going to be easy and perfect.
Life's a struggle from start to finish.
It's a battle.
It's a struggle.
So what you have to just decide is that you love your wife and that you're going to be
faithful to her and true to her and that she will dwell in your house forever and it's
until death do us part and we're going to love each other no matter what.
And listen, when things get bad, you say, how do I get through these rough times?
You know, you just got to go through those rough times and just stay cool.
Don't jerk the steering wheel.
Don't do anything crazy.
You just can't have this mentality of, oh, it's going to be like this for the rest of
our lives.
I can't believe I'm married to you and it's going to be like this for, no, it's not because
everything is going to blow over and be fine, but you have to ride it out and honestly,
I can stand here, I could put my hand on the, I'm not going to, but I could put my hand
on the Bible and swear to you, but the Bible says swear not at all, so I'm not going to,
but I could sit here and put my hand on the Bible and swear to you that I've had some
of the greatest times in marriage, the greatest moments, the best times, the funnest times,
the most exciting times in recent years of marriage, in the last few months, in the last
few years.
And being a newlywed is great, but you know what, you can relive those days, you can have
those times again later in marriage, but you have to stay with it.
And a lot of people, what they do is when marriage gets bad, they bail.
You got to just ride it out and go through the rough patch and eventually you'll get
to the good times and honestly, the good times get gooder and gooder as you go and I realize
that's bad grammar.
But it really does get gooder and gooder as you go because why would it get better?
Because of the fact that when you're first married, you hardly know each other.
I mean, well, okay, that was just me and my wife.
I guess some people probably actually got to know each other first, but anyway, my wife
and I, we only dated for a few weeks, I'm not recommending that, but it was kind of
a unique situation because she lived on the other side of the world and she was only here
for a few weeks and we, you know, it's a long story, but anyway, you can read about
it.
I wrote it up and you can read about it, but what I'm saying is that, you know, you don't
know each other as well.
The love isn't as deep because you haven't been through as much together.
You know, when you go through trials and tribulations together and when you have children together
and raise children together and you have good times and bad times and you're there
for each other and, you know, you take care of each other when they're sick or injured
or ill or in the hospital, you know, you go through all that, you get more depth to the
relationship whereas in the beginning it wasn't that deep, it was more shallow.
Not saying in a bad way, it's just new.
But the longer you've been together, the deeper it gets, okay, and then when you have the
great times, when you get through trials and rough patches, you have a deeper, better relationship
and honestly you know each other better and I don't know what to say, it just gets better.
Marriage gets better and better if you stay with it.
You experience good times and obviously, you know, you need to follow the Bible and everything
that's, you know, and follow, you know, a good sound wisdom and advice from God's Word
and from, you know, successful people who have a good marriage and you go through that
and you succeed at it and it gets better and better.
But a lot of people bail out and they never get to experience that.
I mean, these people that sit there and get married, these Hollywood people that get married
for a couple years, two, three years, five years, they don't even understand marriage
because they've never really gone through the tough times and made it through and come
out the other side stronger and loving each other and a deeper bond.
I'm telling you, marriage is a beautiful, wonderful relationship and we need to get
these six things in our life as husbands.
I mean, I can't think of anything that's not covered in Psalm 23 to have a great marriage.
I feel like it's all here by the time, now here's the thing, I've always, I'm always
striving to have, you know, a sermon with actual points in it and especially if they
would all alliterate and start with the same letter.
That's always something that I, you know, it never happens.
I'm lucky to preach a sermon that even has points.
Usually my sermon is more like a stream of consciousness, okay, but you know, Pastor
Roger Jimenez, that guy is just .1, .2, .3 and it starts with the same letter and I mean
that guy just nails it with his points.
So I was thinking like, man, I want to preach a Roger Jimenez styled sermon and I've thought
that so many times, I can never get it done.
I feel like tonight I've done it and let me tell you why.
I've actually figured out how to make these all start with the same letter and it was
hard.
It was hard, but listen, I've got six alliterated points in this sermon.
Number one, the husband supplies, right?
Number two, he provides stability.
Number three, he's the spiritual leader.
Number four, he keeps her safe.
Number five, he does things that are special, right?
You know, going above and beyond is special, okay?
And then number six, he gives security.
Oh, oh, you didn't like that?
Let's do P. Number one, he provides.
Number two, he brings peace.
Number three, he's the pastor.
He was tough on being the spiritual leader.
He pastors, you know, the wife.
Number four, he's the protector.
Number five, he gives pleasure.
And number six, permanence, alright?
So there you go.
Don't expect that again for a few years, but I alliterated it.
Let's bow our heads up.
Word of prayer.
Alright, Father, thank you so much for this great chapter, Lord.
It's a wonderful, beautiful chapter, Lord, and I pray that since people in the church
know it so well, it would be something where every husband could pull this out as a mental
checklist because they already know the passage.
A lot of people already have it memorized that it would provide just a mental checklist
where we could just run through, you know, I want to love my wife.
I want to be a good husband.
What's my wife looking for for me to treat her right and be a good husband?
And help them to just run through Psalm 23 and run through the six keys to be in a Psalm
23 husband.
In Jesus' name we pray, amen.
Amen.