2 Timothy chapter 2, the part that I want to focus on is beginning in verse number 23
where the Bible reads,
But foolish and unlearned questions avoid, knowing that they do gender stripes, and the
servant of the Lord must not strive but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient,
in meekness instructing those that oppose themselves, if God, peradventure, will give
them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth, and that they may recover themselves
out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.
And what I want to preach about tonight is patience when teaching.
Patience when teaching.
The Bible talks a lot about the fact that we should be patient with people who are learning,
patient with new believers, patient with unsaved people whose heart is in the right place,
but they just don't understand the Gospel.
They've been deceived.
The Bible talks about here with unsaved people not getting involved in arguments concerning
foolish and unlearned questions and striving with people because the Bible says that we
should be gentle and apt to teach and patient in meekness instructing those that oppose
themselves.
Why?
If God, peradventure, will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth, and that
they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him
at his will.
You see, when we go out teaching the Gospel to all nations, and when we go out preaching
the Gospel to every creature, our goal is to get people saved.
Now that may seem obvious, but we need to keep that in mind when we go out there that
our goal is to get someone saved.
And we're much more likely to get someone saved by avoiding foolish and unlearned questions,
staying on the subject of the Gospel, and gently, meekly, in a kind way, explaining
the Gospel.
The saying goes that you catch more flies with honey.
And so going out and badgering people, being rude, getting in screaming arguments, doesn't
effectively get people saved or preach the Gospel.
You know, we need to make sure that we understand that when we go out soul winning, we're to
love people and to bring that person to Christ because we care about their soul.
Now the Bible does say a man that is a heretic, after the first and second admonition, reject,
knowing that he that is such is subverted and sinneth, being condemned of himself.
So you say, well, Pastor Anderson, should I be patient with the heretic?
Well here's why you're not going to be patient with the heretic.
Because after the first and second admonition, it's best to just get out of there and just
move on.
You see, if I show someone a clear scripture from the Bible, plain as day, and they say,
well, I still don't believe that, and then I take the Bible and I show them a different
scripture, clearly, plain as day, and they still don't believe it, then at that point
it's time to just walk away.
Why would I waste my time with somebody who is not willing to hear the clear statements
from the Word of God?
I'd rather just move on to somebody else.
And a lot of times when people go out soul winning, they get hung up with a heretic.
Somebody who's just all wrapped up in a false religion, whether that's a Mormon or Jehovah's
Witness or whatever the denomination, where they're goofed up on salvation, and they just
get tied up in a big argument.
They get into a big striving with them, when in reality, after the first and second admonition,
they need to just move on.
Right?
Why?
Because there's a person down the street that's waiting to get saved.
And you won't want to burn up all your time with somebody who's not even interested in
learning.
They're not interested in changing anything they believe, no matter what you show them.
So a man that is in heretic after the first and second admonition, reject.
You just move on.
Now, a lot of people, their flesh could get in the way, and I've had this happen to me
before, I think we've all had this happen, where we just want to win that argument.
And so we don't want to walk away.
We want to stay and prove to this guy and show him up one side and down the other that
he's wrong, because we know.
Now, it's funny because I was talking to somebody who was a newer soul winner the other day.
And they said, you know, I don't really know all the answers when people ask me really
hard questions if I go out soul winning.
Sometimes I get hit with a really difficult question.
And sometimes, you know, they stump me or sometimes they ask me about an obscure religion,
and I don't know what to say.
But I told that person, I said, you know what, in some ways that could make you a better
soul winner, because you're not going to be tempted to go down all these rabbit trails
and get off topic and get in a bunch of arguments with people, because you know so much about
the Jehovah's Witnesses, you know, you know so much about the Mormons, you're going to
really eat this guy's lunch.
But the goal is not to go out and just tear people up, you know, the goal is to get somebody
saved.
And I'd rather go get somebody saved than to waste my time going back and forth with
a heretic.
So the Bible says a man that's a heretic after the first and second admonition reject.
That's somebody who's just really steeped in a false, Stephen, you sit down right now
you sit in our row and you quit goofing off.
Children need to know how to behave themselves in the house of God.
My wife's not there, but you kids need to line up and sit down or you'll face me after
the service.
Excuse me for that.
But the bottom line is that we're out there to get people saved and we don't want to get
off topic and into strivings.
You see, arguing with people in an angry argument is not a way to get people saved.
It just doesn't work.
I don't think debates are ever a good way for people to learn anything.
Now people have often wanted to get me involved in debates and I, you know, frankly I'll just
tell you I'm not interested in being in debates.
I don't like the whole concept of debate.
It's not my thing.
I've never done a debate, but a couple of times there have been people who really wanted
me to do a debate.
So I kind of reluctantly said, okay, you know, I'll do that debate, but then no one would
debate me.
So it never happened.
You know, I, you know, people wanted me to debate the preacher of rapture and, and to
talk about that.
So I said, okay, I will debate any pastor in America on the preacher of rapture.
If he has a church similar in size or greater than this church, I'm not going to debate
some guy who is meeting in his basement, him and his two buddies and calls himself a pastor.
There's no point in that.
I said, I'll debate a pastor that's of similar caliber as myself, just a similar church size
or greater, or I said, I'll debate any pastor in the state of Arizona that has a church
of any size, if it's within the state of Arizona.
And of course, you know, a guy, even an assistant pastor in this area, he called every church
and he couldn't get anybody to do it.
And frankly, I didn't really mind because I'm not, I don't even want to have a debate.
You know what?
I'd rather just, somebody just sits down and watch after the tribulation because you know
what?
Nuts to the other side.
The other side's garbage.
You might as well just hear the truth.
I mean, why would I confuse somebody with 50% of the time being a bunch of pre-trib junk?
Just give them the real thing.
They've heard enough of the other side their whole lives, right?
So I'm not into debates.
I don't enjoy debate.
I don't think it's fun to debate.
I don't think it's a good way to learn anyway.
You know, the Bible says that reprobates are full of debate anyway on Romans chapter one.
So you know, I'm not just out to debate all the time, okay?
I'd rather find somebody who wants to hear the gospel and tell it to them.
I'd rather find somebody who's interested in learning something and teach it to them
than to go out and argue with somebody who doesn't want to hear it.
You know what the Bible says?
It says not to give that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before
swine lest they trample them under their feet and turn again and rend you.
You know, why would I want to give my pearls unto swine?
You know, that's why I'm not going to be out at the Sodomite pride parade screaming at
a bunch of homos.
Why?
Because I don't care enough about them.
That's why.
Because you say, oh, you ought to care about those people.
Look, there's 7.4 billion people in the world.
Once I give the gospel to everybody else, right, then you can fault me for not going
down there.
Right?
If there's another billions of people, why don't I go preach to the other billions of
people?
Why would I just go single out the reprobates and go preach to them?
It just doesn't make any sense.
It doesn't make any sense.
But the guys who go down to these Sodomite parades and do all that are a bunch of like
chest pounders.
They just enjoy the screaming and fighting and the spitting and the cussing.
You know, sorry, not my thing.
I would rather in meekness instruct those that oppose themselves.
I'd rather go out and talk to people and talk to them nicely and give them the gospel one
on one in a kind manner.
Now you say, well, I don't know, Pastor Anderson, because when you're up behind the pulpit,
you get pretty caustic and you scream and yell and you get pretty mean up there.
But here's the thing.
This isn't soul winning.
This is church.
I'm preaching to the saved.
I'm preaching to the believers.
And the believers often need a swift kick in the pants.
They often need hard preaching to shake them out of complacency and apathy.
We need hard preaching to get the job done.
There's plenty of examples of hard caustic preaching in the Bible.
But at the same time, when I go out and I'm talking to somebody who's just a little mixed
up on religion or somebody who just hasn't heard a clear presentation of the gospel,
I don't want to badger them.
And it's funny, when people go soul winning with me, sometimes they're surprised by how
nice I am to people.
They expect me to be at somebody's doorstep like I am behind the pulpit.
But obviously, different situations call for a different attitude and a different modus
operandi.
But if I walk up to somebody that I don't even know and they're not saved and I have
the good news of the gospel, I'd rather just be friendly and nice and calmly explain it
to them than to go get a bullhorn and a bunch of signs and start screaming at people that
I don't even know.
And the people who are into the screaming and the bullhorning, they'll sit there and
say, well, yeah, but these people are wicked.
But how do you even know?
Because you don't even know the people that you're preaching to because they're just walking
by.
They could be living a cleaner life than you are.
You don't know anything about them.
But you describe, you're all going to hell.
How do you know?
Maybe many of them are saved.
So it doesn't make any sense.
My goal is to succeed.
My goal is to win souls to Christ.
I'm going to follow what the Bible says here.
I'm going to avoid the foolish and unlearned questions.
If I'm out soul winning and somebody asks me a weird question or a dumb question, I'm
just going to say, hey, you know what, why don't we come back to that and then just hope
they forget.
That's what I do.
I always say, well, hey, listen, I don't want to lose my train of thought.
I want to show you this one thing real quick about going to heaven.
But hold that thought and how about if we come back to that?
And then hopefully we just kind of never get around to it.
But if we get around to it after the Gospel, okay.
But I don't want to lose track of giving the Gospel.
But I've been soul winning with people sometimes where they're given the Gospel and somebody
asks a weird question and then they just take the bait.
They take the bait and then they go down and then it gets so confused and then they get
into an argument and then they don't get anywhere on getting the Gospel across.
So when we go out soul winning, we need to have patience with people, meaning that if
people don't understand right away, we can patiently explain it to them again.
And if they're wrong, we don't badger them or act like they're an idiot.
Don't act like somebody is dumb.
Think your works are going to get you to heaven?
Are you stupid or something?
You want to be gentle, you want to be patient, you want to be kind, not rude, not badgering,
not argumentative.
You want to go out and be nice.
And anybody who goes soul winning with me knows that I'm usually very nice.
Now have I sometimes lost it and went off on people?
Okay, I've done it.
I'm human.
I'm not perfect.
Everybody has made those mistakes.
But in general, if people go soul winning with me, they know that 99% of the time I'm
friendly and nice.
Every once in a while, somebody gets my goad because I'm a human being, but I try not to
let that happen.
Look at 1 Thessalonians chapter 5.
First Thessalonians chapter 5.
First Thessalonians chapter 5 and then we're going to go to Titus chapter 3.
First Thessalonians chapter 5 verse 14 says this,
Now we exhort you brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feeble minded, support
the weak, be patient toward all men.
So again, the Bible is talking here about being patient with people toward everybody.
But especially those who are weak, those who are feeble minded, they're not that smart
or whatever.
People who are unruly, be patient, warn people, etc.
Look at Titus chapter 3 verse 1.
Titus 3, 1.
I'll start reading while you get over there.
Put them in mind to be subject to principalities and powers, to obey magistrates, to be ready
to every good work, to speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, showing all
meekness unto all men, for we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived.
Now this is a key right here.
Look at this.
We ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived.
What's he saying here?
We need to always remember the fact that there was a time when we didn't understand the Gospel.
There was a time when we didn't understand doctrine about the end times.
Or there was a time when we didn't understand this doctrine.
Name the doctrine.
We all learn these doctrines one at a time.
We don't just one day learn everything about the Bible.
It's a process where we learn line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little, there
a little.
So sometimes it's easy for somebody who's been in church for five years to then meet
somebody who's been in church for five weeks and to just jump all over them because they
have a wrong belief or a wrong doctrine about something.
It would make more sense to remember that, you know what, I used to be wrong on that.
I used to believe that way.
I used to think those same dumb things.
And then kindly and gently and in a friendly way explain it to that person and correct
that person.
Why?
Because what is the goal?
The goal is to get people on our side.
And ours, why?
Because we're on the Lord's side.
That's why.
We want people to get on the winning side.
We want people serving the Lord Jesus Christ.
We want them to become a productive member of Faithful Word Baptist Church because Faithful
Word Baptist Church is an effective, soul-winning church.
And if we know that if we can get them plugged into this church, they're going to learn great
doctrine.
They're going to get out there and roll up their sleeves and actually get their hands
dirty out preaching the gospel in the ghettos and in the rough areas and to the poor and
to every creature.
And we know that it's the best thing for their family and everything else if they can get
in a church like Faithful Word Baptist Church.
So we don't want to push them away, we want to bring them in.
Now this is not to say that we're going to compromise and that we're going to tell people
that sin is okay and we're going to tell people that false doctrine is okay, but rather we
would try to kindly and gently show somebody the truth on something and realize that the
first time you show somebody a truth, they might not embrace it right away.
They might need to digest it or chew on it a little bit.
And let me give you another example in regard to unsaved people.
Sometimes we'll have an unsaved person come to our church and they love the church because
of something else that's preached, but they're not on board with the salvation that we preach
here.
They have a heretical view of salvation, but maybe they came to the church because they
just like hard preaching or maybe they came to the church because they're a libertarian
and they like the fact that I stood for freedom or something.
Whatever the reason, a lot of people find out about Faithful Word Baptist Church in
a variety of ways because our church is all over YouTube and all over the internet, all
over the media.
So a lot of people who find out about the preaching from Faithful Word Baptist Church
are not necessarily even Baptist.
They could come from all different denominations, all different backgrounds because different
things brought them in.
It was different things that attracted them here, but they came here because their hearts
in the right place.
They want to learn something.
They want to grow in the Lord.
They want to serve God.
Now I've had a person like that come to the church and they're not saved and I gave that
person the gospel and they did not get saved right then and there.
I gave them the gospel and they didn't outright reject it and say, no, that's a lie.
That's false.
But I told it to them and they were skeptical.
You know, I showed them all the salvation verses about salvation by grace through faith.
I showed them its eternal life and that Jesus will never leave us or forsake us, that we're
sealed unto the day of redemption.
And I go through all that with them and they still think, I don't know, that sounds too
easy or I think you still have to do works or I think you can lose your salvation.
They don't quite get it the first time that they hear it.
You know what I do in that situation?
If I go through the whole plan of salvation with somebody who comes to the church and
they don't get saved the first time I present them with the gospel.
You know what I say to them?
I smile and say, hey, it's great to have you here, hope to see you again.
Why?
Because that person might need that seed to be watered.
See not everybody's going to get saved the first time they hear the gospel.
My wife didn't get saved the first time she heard the gospel or the second time or the
third time or the fourth time or the fifth time.
She had to hear it again and again because she was coming from a culture that had taught
her a lot of false doctrine from the Roman Catholic Church and she's coming from a German
culture that had taught her a lot of lies and so forth.
So it took her a little time to warm up to the gospel and that's pretty normal.
And when we see, for example, the apostle Paul preaching the book of Acts, when he preached
some people got saved immediately.
So we don't want to be deceived by the fact, well, nobody gets saved right away.
It takes a 10-week Bible study.
No, that's not true.
A lot of people do get saved the first time they hear it on the spot.
When Paul preached, there was a story in the book of Acts where the apostle Paul preached
and there was a group of people who immediately got saved.
Then there was another group that just rejected it and scoffed at it and made fun of it.
And then there was a third group that said what?
We will hear thee again of this matter.
So when somebody comes to the church and they're not saved and we get them the gospel and they
don't receive it, we don't need to sit there for 30 or 40 minutes just badgering them like,
no, you need to get this now.
If they're not ready to get saved, you can take the horse to the water but you can't
make them drink.
So if we present the gospel and they don't get saved, then what we should do in that
situation is just smile and say, hey, great talking to you.
I hope to see you again sometime.
God bless you.
Why?
Because nobody's going to just keep coming to our church unsaved.
Because we talk so much about the gospel, we talk so much about salvation, we talk so
much about soul winning, they're either going to get in or get out anyway.
So we don't need to stress out about the fact that somebody came two or three times without
getting saved.
You know, Brother Garrett Kirschway, the first time he came to church, he wasn't saved.
Somebody talked to him about the gospel.
He didn't get saved.
It was a few more visits before he got saved.
Tons of people like that.
It takes a few times of coming to church and hearing the gospel, hearing the preaching,
talking to people.
So we want to be kind.
We don't want to just burn people to the point where they're just never going to come back.
And it's the same thing.
If I go to a door and somebody is just receptive and they're listening and they let me get
through the whole gospel with them and they're friendly and nice and listening, but then
I get down to the end and it's clear that they just don't get it.
I show them a few more verses, they still don't get it.
You know what I do at that point?
I just leave them on a pot, hey, God bless you, it's great talking to you.
I'd like to talk to you more about this sometime.
Come visit our church.
We'd love to have you visit sometime, right?
And let it sink in.
Let them chew on that.
Let them digest that and then we can talk to them again another day instead of just
demanding, you know what?
You get saved today or you get out.
That doesn't make any sense, but I've seen people have that attitude even in this church
and in other independent Baptist churches where just, I mean, if people just don't get
saved, I mean, that guy just rejected the gospel, so reprobate now.
Not necessarily because sometimes people just need to dwell on it and think about it and
a lot of times, frankly, people just don't get it.
I talked to my wife long after she was saved and she said, well, I didn't really fully
understand it until the day that I got saved.
Even though you explained it to me so many times, it kind of went over my head.
Why?
Because it's a spiritual thing and sometimes the natural man, even when a spirit-filled
preacher gives it to them, isn't going to get it right away.
Sometimes they have to hear it a few times.
So we need to be patient, right?
Teach the gospel with patience.
Okay, somebody believes a different false doctrine.
Somebody's mixed up on some other doctrine, right, that has nothing to do with salvation
and you show it to them, you explain it to them.
They don't receive it right then and there.
You know what?
That's okay.
Be friendly, walk away, move on.
Now the exception to this would be if somebody comes into the church and they're teaching
a false doctrine.
There are some people who come in and their purpose is to infiltrate.
The Bible talks about false prophets that will creep in and bring in damnable heresies.
Now if somebody comes in and they're walking around trying to teach people lies and teach
people false doctrine, you know, yeah, we'll throw people like that out.
We'll rebuke them sharply and cast them out.
But I'm talking about people who are coming to the church because they like the church.
They like the preacher.
They want to be here, but it's just that they're brand new and they haven't learned anything.
Give people a chance to learn.
And always remember, how many years did it take you to learn what you know now?
I'll tell you right now that it took me my whole life to know what I know right now.
I mean, for example, the doctrine about Israel that's laid out in our film Marching to Zion.
Let me tell you this.
When I was 24 years old and I'd read the Bible cover to cover 24 times, literally, and I
had memorized over 100 chapters of the New Testament, I was still wrong on that doctrine.
I was wrong on that doctrine.
And after all that reading, Bible memory, 24 years in a Christian home, that means I
was saved for 18 years because I got saved when I was six years old.
And I was wrong on that doctrine.
It wasn't until I was 24 years old, it wasn't until the summer of 2006 that I got right
on that doctrine.
Ten years ago, I got it right.
So how could I just think that someone's a complete idiot for being wrong on that doctrine
when I was wrong on that doctrine for most of my life?
Even after tons of, well, they must not read the Bible at all.
Okay, well then how was I wrong about it even though I'd read the Bible 20 some times?
I'll tell you why.
Because when you're really taught a certain way, sometimes it's hard to get over your
preconceived ideas.
You know, you get stuck in a preconceived idea.
And we've been so brainwashed about Israel, our whole lives and churches, we've got to
bless them, we've got to support them, God's going to curse.
That's so ingrained that we never question it.
So I never questioned it until I was 24 because it's just that ingrained.
So it'd be silly to bash somebody for being wrong on that.
What would make more sense would be to kindly and gently try to teach that, try to explain
that, and try to get them to come around on that doctrine.
Look at Acts chapter 8, or no, let's finish in Titus 3, we didn't finish, I'm sorry.
It says in verse 3, for we ourselves, Titus 3, 3, for we ourselves also were sometimes
foolish, disobedient, and deceived, right?
We were deceived on doctrine.
We had false doctrine.
We believed dumb things.
What about these things?
Serving divers, lusts, and pleasures.
There have been times where in our past, we've served divers, lusts, and pleasures.
Where we've lived in malice and envy.
Where we were hateful and hating one another, right?
I mean, look, has there been a time when you were angry or bitter or held a grudge against
one another, meaning your brother or sister in Christ?
You know, these are mistakes that all of us have made.
That's what the Bible says.
We've done this stuff.
We ourselves also were sometimes, sometimes foolish, right, disobedient, deceived, serving
divers, lusts, and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful and hating one another.
You know, sometimes when we're hard on our teenagers, sometimes we forget what we were
like when we were a teenager.
Now obviously, I'm all for disciplining your teenagers and being straight with your teenagers
and giving them a whipping when they need a whipping.
I'm all for it, okay?
But at the same time, sometimes, you know, I mentioned to my wife when we're talking
about this at home, sometimes I'll mention to my wife, you know what, what were you like
when you were 15?
Or what was I like when I was 15?
And I think about all the dumb, idiotic, foolish, stupid ideas and things that I did when I
was 15 and I'm just thanking God for, you know, how righteous my children are.
You know what I mean?
So we've got to be careful.
It's easy for us when we're 35, 40 years old to look, and I'm 35, by the way, not 40, but
you know, when we're older, it's easy for us to look at our teenagers and just, oh,
what an idiot.
What a complete idiot.
But it's like, what were you like when you were 15?
You weren't like you were when you were 35.
You were foolish.
You were disobedient.
You were doing all kinds of crazy, dumb, ridiculous things.
Thank God the internet hadn't been invented yet, amen?
I mean, thank God there was no Facebook.
Thank God.
Because now the dumb things that teenagers do are just immortalized.
They're etched in stone.
They're etched in, what, silicone wafers and etched in, you know, solid state memory cards.
I mean, think about it.
Man, I'm so glad for the fact.
I mean, listen, kids, you teenagers and kids, you better be careful because you're living
in the internet age.
Everything you say and do, somebody's going to whip out their cell phone and record it.
I mean, look, drunkenness has always been stupid.
But how in the world would anybody in their right mind want to get drunk in 2016 when
everybody's there ready to film you being an idiot and upload it to the whole world?
And 10 years from now, it'll be uploaded.
And 20 years, it never goes away.
It'll never be gone.
I mean, you know, we, it's easy for us as adults because when we were kids, and no,
I didn't get drunk, but when we were kids, we did all kinds of stupid, ridiculous things.
And thank God nobody was there with a smartphone to capture it because I promise you there'd
be some dumb, ridiculous videos of me online if that technology had been around back then.
Thank God when I was a kid, cameras were like the size of a news TV camera.
If you wanted to take home movies, you know, you had to have like a whole camera crew back
then.
So home movies were pretty rare when I was a kid.
So you know, we need to be patient, right?
Be patient when we teach our children.
Patient with teenagers, patient with new believers, patient with church members, visitors, people
that are new in the faith, people that have been saved six months or a year.
Remember back to when you'd been saved six months for a year and ask yourself where you
were at spiritually.
And even if you say, well, yeah, but I've only been saved for three months and I already
know everything.
Well, here's the thing about that though.
No, you don't.
Number one.
That's because you happen to be planted right away in a church that teaches you a lot.
A lot of people spent decades in churches that maybe didn't really teach them that much.
And so there's a little bit of a learning curve.
And once they get into a good church, that's where the real serious learning begins.
So he says, we lived in malice and envy sometimes, hateful and hating one another sometimes.
He says in verse four, but after that, the kindness and love of God, our savior toward
man appeared not by works of righteousness, which we've done, but according to his mercy,
he saved us by the washing of regeneration and renewing the Holy ghost.
So even our salvation is nothing to boast about or to be proud of because it's not by
works of righteousness, which we've done.
It's according to his mercy that he saved us.
Verse six, would you shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ, our savior, that being
justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.
Go if you would to Acts chapter 18, Acts chapter number 18, Acts chapter 18, children, teenagers.
Let me just say this while we're turning to Acts 18.
This is a bit of a rabbit trail, but this is something that I've been thinking about
lately.
While I'm talking about doing stupid things when you're a teenager, I did stupid things.
Your parents probably did stupid things.
You're probably contemplating some stupid things right now.
Foolishness is bound on the heart of the child.
But here's the thing about that.
Let me just give you some advice, teenagers, besides the fact that everything you say is
being recorded and videotaped and whatever.
But let me say this also.
What I've noticed is that the sins that people struggle with for their whole lives, they
usually started those sins as a teenager.
It's kind of a separate subject.
When I was studying for my sermon on blacking out while drunk, I read several books about
drunkenness and alcoholism and blacking out.
I've heard a lot of testimonies from a lot of people who were serious alcoholics.
You know what the common denominator is?
With virtually every serious drunk, virtually every serious alcoholic, when did they start
drinking?
You know what they'll usually say?
They'll say nine.
I'm not kidding.
Eleven years old.
I was like, what in the world?
I was kind of shocked by that.
I was reading books about drinking and drunks and alcoholics.
Usually the typical age that they come, I mean serious drunks, they start when they're
nine.
Eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen.
If you make it all the way to twenty-one without drinking, you're probably not even going to
drink anyway.
Or if you did, you'd probably drink very little.
I'm sure there are exceptions to that that started when they're twenty-one and just became
a raging alcoholic.
You know what?
The way that you live your life as a teenager, you're setting some patterns for the rest
of your life.
We do want to be patient with our teenagers, but we don't want to just let them go off
deep into sin because they're actually going to destroy their whole life.
They're going to struggle with that the rest of their life.
We do need to be strict with our teenagers.
Don't give them unfettered access to the internet to just look at whatever and just
go wherever.
Here's the keys to the car, do whatever.
We need to supervise.
We need to have rules.
But when I say be patient, I mean don't just have ridiculously high standards and don't
be mean or angry and spiteful all the time when they make mistakes.
Just discipline and love and remember that you made mistakes too and so forth.
But you know what?
Yeah, literally not.
You say, well, how does a nine-year-old get into drinking?
How does it?
I mean, I thought you can't get alcohol until you're twenty-one.
How are these teens drinking?
Most people when I said what age, they guessed high school, but honestly junior high.
Do a lot start in high school?
Absolutely.
But junior high and elementary school also, you say how does a nine-year-old start drinking
Pastor Anderson?
Because their parents have booze in the house, that's why.
That's it.
One hundred percent.
You think they walk into 7-Eleven and just speak a little Hindi or something to try to
break the ice and introduce them to their friend Andrew Jackson in order to get some
booze?
No way.
They go into their parents' refrigerator and they drink.
I read a story about one lady who said when she was a kid, she would just go in the fridge
and find open alcohol bottles and just drink a little bit because they don't remember exactly
the level.
Or then they would drink a little bit, hopefully I'm not giving ideas, but no parents should
even have alcohol in their house.
If you didn't have alcohol in your house, if you don't have a bunch of beer and hard
liquor in your house, this will never happen to you.
You say, well, I can handle it.
I'm going to do it in moderation.
Okay, what about your nine-year-old?
What about your nine-year-old?
Yeah, what about your 11-year-old?
Is he going to do it in moderation when he wants to be all big like mom and dad and be
an adult and be sophisticated and sneak in there when you're not around and drink?
They'll drink down on one that's already been started, a beer that's been started, but that
one sip, you say, well, that's one sip, yeah, but they've tasted blood at that point, so
to speak.
One sip of that beer, a little bit of wine, a little bit of hard liquor, and they get
a taste for it, and then they start drinking a little more, diluting what's left with water
to bring it up to that level, or just realizing that if there's 17 cans or 17 bottles, no
one's going to realize if that goes down to 16 or 15.
Nobody's really going to notice.
I mean, look, there are times in my house when the kids have, and this is wicked and
shame on them, but when they pulled the wool over our eyes and gotten into candy or chips
and it took months later before we found the wrappers, we found the smoking gun, right?
Okay.
I remember one time when I was a kid, I got into these Farley's fruit snacks, and we were
only allowed to have one a day, and you know what, it was wrong, but I went overboard on
the Farley's fruit snacks, and I stuffed the wrappers under my bed between the mattress
and the bed frame.
Then like a year later, we're moving beds around.
My mom opens it up and there's like 20 Farley's wrappers, what is it, what's going on?
Okay, but here's the thing, what if there would have been beer in the house?
What if there would have been wine?
What if there would have been alcohol?
Well, you wouldn't have done that.
Yeah, but here's the thing, kids, kids, they fixate on stuff like that.
Anything negative, anything off limits, they tend to home in on that stuff as kids to push
boundaries.
I remember when I was a kid, we would always want to play cowboys and Indians, sorry Native
Indians, sorry first people, but anyway, we'd play cowboys and Indians when we were kids,
and especially because we had a friend's house, where at our friend's house they had those,
what are they called, saloon doors, so they had saloon doors on their kitchen, so we'd
come in with a gun holster and a hat and a vest, and we'd bust into the saloon, and my
parents would not allow us to play that it was beer or alcohol, but you know, of course
all the TV we're watching is glorifying beer and glorifying alcohol, and kids are going
to act that out, whatever they see in the media, TV, right?
So we wanted to act out what we'd seen in the Hollywood movies, so we'd walk in, we
weren't allowed to say that it was beer or alcohol, but we would take the apple juice
and shake it up, okay, and pour it into, but this is what we'd just say, give me the usual.
Instead of coming in and saying, give me apple juice, we'd just say, give me the usual, you
know, and then get the shaken up apple juice and drink, you know, why?
That's how kids are, they copy, what do they do?
They copy everything that they see, they see the parents do it, they're going to copy it,
they see it on TV, they see it on the movie, they're going to copy it, that's the way kids
are, that's how they learn.
So woe unto you if you have a bunch of booze in your house, oh this is just for adults
kids and we just do it in moderation, how dry I am, how dry I am, you know, and then
your kid sees that, and what are they going to do, sneak it, and you know what they're
going to do, they're going to bring their friend over, hey, let's go try some beer,
let's go try some booze, right, so these 9, 11, 13, 15 year olds, they tried it at a friend's
house or at their parent's house, that's where they get the booze because they don't buy
it at the store because it's illegal, and you know, I think most establishments are
pretty strict, I don't know, but I'm pretty sure that they card hard at most places, you
know, because they don't want to lose their license, they don't, you know, I don't think
most stores sell to teens, correct me if I'm wrong, do most stores sell alcohol to teens,
they're probably real strict I would think, because you could get in big trouble, they
could go to prison, they could lose their business, so how are they getting it, from
their parents or from their friend's parents, that's where they're getting it, period, they're
stealing it, so now they're getting involved in two sins, stealing and drinking, okay,
but I digress, I just wanted to get that off my chest, but let's go to Acts chapter 18,
so be patient with your teens, but don't be stupid, and don't just let them just do whatever
and have all this unfettered freedom, you know, you do need to have some rules and some
boundaries, why, because if they get into sin as a teen, that's the stuff they're going
to struggle with for the rest of their life, then when they're 30 and 40 they're going
to be blacking out while drunk, okay, Acts chapter 18, here's a guy whose heart was in
the right place, he was wrong on some doctrine, he hadn't learned some things, and he had
to be kindly and gently taken aside and taught, look at Acts chapter 18 verse 24, and a certain
Jew named Apollos, born in Alexandria, an eloquent man and mighty in the scriptures
came to Ephesus, this man was instructed in the way of the Lord, and being fervent
in the Spirit, he spake and taught diligently the things of the Lord, but what was the problem
with this guy, knowing only the baptism of John, so this guy, he's teaching a lot of
good stuff, he's a really zealous, fired up guy, but he doesn't know anything about Jesus
or the death, burial and resurrection of Christ, right, this guy hasn't gotten onto the New
Testament program yet, because remember we're in the book of Acts, so this is a transitional
period where the word of the resurrection is still kind of going out to a lot of people,
this guy, because he's born in Egypt, Alexandria, Egypt, and because he's abroad, he wasn't
there when all the things happened in Jerusalem with Jesus, he didn't hear about that stuff,
so he's got some catching up to do, doesn't he, he needs to learn about Jesus, he needs
to learn about the death, burial and resurrection, and so forth, it says in verse 26, he began
to speak boldly in the synagogue, whom when Aquila and Priscilla had heard, they took
him unto them, and expounded unto him the way of God more perfectly, and when he was
disposed to pass into Achaea, the brethren wrote exhorting the disciples to receive him,
who when he was come, helped them much which had believed through grace, for he mightily
convince the Jews, and that publicly, showing by the scriptures that Jesus was Christ, so
this guy is a real sincere guy, he just hadn't even heard it yet, he hadn't even heard the
doctrine about the gospel of Christ yet, once he hears it, he's a great soul winner, and
he's a great preacher, but he just needed time to learn that, and that's why, if you
notice, Priscilla and Aquila, they actually wrote letters, and some of the other brethren,
they wrote letters to the church, explaining, hey, receive this guy, you know, don't jump
down this guy's throat, or don't be hard on this guy, if he doesn't really know everything,
because this guy is real new, he's real new to learning about the New Testament, learning
about Jesus, and the death, burial and resurrection of Christ, so they give that recommendation,
and then they heed that advice, they receive the guy, they're nice to him, and then he
ends up being a great preacher, and winning a ton of people to the Lord, right, so that
goes to show you how, if you're patient with people, if you treat people nicely, not just
what are you doing preaching, and you don't even know the gospel, what are you doing,
you idiot, you know, instead they took him aside and said, hey, here's what you're doing
right, your heart's clearly in the right place, let me fill in the gaps for you, let me fill
in some of the information that you don't know yet.
Go to Psalm 18, Psalm 18, middle of the Bible, Psalm 18, also while you're turning to Psalm
18, I'll quote for you from Proverbs chapter 16, verse 21, where the Bible reads, the wise
in heart shall be called prudent, watch this, and the sweetness of the lips increaseth learning,
the sweetness of the lips increaseth learning, meaning that people are going to learn more
if you explain it nicely than if you are mean to them, personally, when there's no reason
to be mean or anything, just explain it nicely.
Look at Psalm 18, verse 34, he teacheth, talking about God, he teacheth my hands to war so
that a bow of steel is broken by my arms, thou hast also given me the shield of thy
salvation and thy right hand hath holden me up and thy gentleness hath made me great.
So in the process of teaching David, even teaching him war, God was gentle with him
and God's gentleness made him great.
Okay I want to talk about one more thing tonight and that is this word in the Bible, discretion.
Go to Proverbs chapter 2, Proverbs chapter 2, while you're turning there, in the New
Testament it says in Titus 2, 4, that they may teach the young women to be sober, to
love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good,
obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
So one of the things that God wants from young women, besides sobriety, besides loving their
husband, loving their children, and being chaste, is that they would be discreet.
Now what does it mean to be discreet or to have discretion?
It means that you know what is appropriate and what is not appropriate.
That is what discretion means.
Certain things are appropriate, certain things are not.
Different situations call for different reactions and different ways of handling them.
Look at Proverbs 2, 11, discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee.
So discretion will keep you out of bad situations and from getting into sin and from making
mistakes.
Look at Proverbs chapter 3 verse 21, Proverbs 3, 21 says, my son, let not them depart from
thine eyes, keep sound wisdom and discretion.
Go to Proverbs 11, 22, while you're turning there I'll read from you, I'll read for you
chapter 5 verse 2 where it says that thou mayest regard discretion and that thy lips
may keep knowledge.
Now remember in Titus chapter 2, who was he telling to be discreet?
Was it men or women?
It was specifically women that were told to be discreet.
Obviously we should all use discretion, but he specifically mentioned it toward the women.
In Proverbs 11, 22 we see again a direction of this toward women.
As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion.
So what's the Bible talking about here?
A beautiful woman who doesn't have discretion is as if you put a pig and put a jewel of
gold in its nose and said, look how beautiful this creature is.
It's still an ugly, dirty pig.
So what it's saying is that outward beauty is about equivalent to that little ornament
of gold in the snout of the swine, meaning that it's not really the big thing, is it?
The big thing about a woman's value is not her physical beauty, it's the way that she
acts, it's who she is on the inside.
So if she's just rotten on the inside or if she's no discretion, if she's an embarrassment
because of just bringing up all of the wrong things at the wrong times to the wrong people,
you know, physical beauty isn't going to do much to make up for that, is it?
You know, her husband's not just going to think, well, she's beautiful, it's all right.
It's all right that she's posing nude in magazines, that's okay, she's beautiful.
You know, I'll put up with little things like that.
No, that's a huge thing.
That's horrible.
That's disgusting that women would prostitute their body in that way, okay?
I don't know why I'm bringing that up, maybe it's something about the first lady of the
United States or something, I don't know, you know, that's coming in in January, right?
But anyway, I don't know what that has to do with the sermon, except that our incoming
new president that starts in January's wife doesn't have any discretion.
Sorry to offend you.
But here's the thing about that, discretion, what does it mean to be discreet?
What does it mean to have discretion?
It means you know what is appropriate and what is not appropriate, okay.
Now what does this have to do with the sermon?
The sermon's about what?
Being patient when teaching.
Patient when teaching people the gospel, patient when teaching people doctrine, patient when
teaching your children and teenagers.
We ought to have patience with people because we want them to come around, we want them
on board, we want to help them grow, we don't want to just beat them up and send them away
and they won't ever come back.
Okay, what does this have to do with discretion is that, you know what, you need to have discretion
when you're correcting people, okay.
Now, a lot of people have this attitude that we should never correct anyone for any reason.
You know what, sometimes it's appropriate to correct someone.
You know, if people are involved in serious sin or if people are just not getting the
message, maybe something's being preached over and over again and they keep coming to
church and the preaching keeps going forth and they're just not getting the message,
sometimes correction's appropriate for someone to one-on-one walk up to someone and correct
them.
But here's the question though, when is that appropriate and when is that not appropriate?
Okay, discretion will tell you that, wisdom, discretion.
Now here are some guidelines, okay.
First of all, let's say for example on the area of clothing, because this is something
that comes up from time to time where people will come to me or come to my wife complaining
about somebody's clothing, you know, and saying, you know, what's up with so and so, you know,
coming to church scantily clad.
You know, it's a distraction and it could cause men to lust, you know, because they're
coming scantily clad.
Now here's the thing about that, first of all, not everybody in our church has a background
of growing up in a Christian home or being a fundamental Baptist and I'm actually very
thankful for that.
See if I walked into a church and everybody just looks like they've been a Christian their
whole life, well you know what that tells me is that they might not be reaching anybody.
You know what I mean, if I walk in and just everybody's just perfect, well then that might
tell me that this church doesn't do any soul winning, because if a church is doing soul
winning, they're going to be constantly bringing in what, babes in Christ who don't know how
to dress, they don't know how to act, they don't know what to believe.
So you know, I mean look, does a baby know how to dress themselves?
No.
So you know, that's something that's going to happen.
So I don't look at it as a bad thing like, oh no, somebody came in in a short skirt.
It's not the end of the world, it's not nothing to panic about.
You know, we don't need to freak out.
Okay, but here's the thing, obviously there could be a time when somebody just, you know,
keeps on dressing in a way that's immodest and they're not getting the message from the
pulpit, they're not getting the memo, where another lady who first has the beam out of
their own eye, not somebody who dresses scantily clad, but not quite that scantily clad, right?
Like somebody who's just like a centimeter longer of a skirt, like whoa, that's a little
too short there.
You know, it's like, well that's the pot calling the kettle black.
So what we want to do is make sure that somebody who is above reproach in that area, it might
be appropriate to go to that person and very gently and kindly, not condescending, not
with a bunch of attitude, not passive aggressive, right?
Not to try to take them down a notch, not angry, not badgering, but just go to them
and just talk to them and say, you know what, I understand you probably haven't grown up
in church and, and you know, I don't expect you to obviously necessarily be perfect.
I'm not perfect, but you know what, honestly, the way that you dress, I think it's a stumbling
block to other people.
Can I help give you some tips, you know, and maybe that's not the best example or demonstration
of it.
That's why I don't have these conversations with women.
My bedside manner is not as good as, as some, but here's the thing, you know, my wife has
had that conversation with ladies and you know what, when my wife has had that conversation
with ladies, it's funny how when she has that conversation with ladies, they always receive
it really well and they're always really nice and thankful because she, would you come up
and demonstrate how you confront people, but anyway, she, you know, she actually keeps
silent in the church, but anyway, she, you know, she actually, when she talks to people
about these things, she actually has success because she goes to them in a meek and gentle
and, and they know her heart that she's just trying to help them.
She's not just jealous of them or trying to take them down a notch or trying to hurt their
feelings or whatever.
She goes to them, she's friendly, she's nice, she's gentle and she explains to them, you
know, how to make sure that you're dressed appropriately for church.
Okay.
But then it's funny how sometimes other people might confront people about their clothing
and there's a lot of tears and weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.
You know, well, maybe there could be something wrong with your approach then.
Now is it, is it possible that sometimes you might go to somebody in love and meekness
and say, listen, I love you, I'm not mad at you, I'm just trying to help you, that people
are offended by the way that you, you know, is it possible somebody could do it perfect
and, and somebody could still, how dare you!
Yeah, of course, that could happen.
But the point is that we should try our best to win people over to the truth, not to just
harshly rebuke.
And here's what discretion also tells you, if somebody's been to church two times, we
don't really care how they're dressed.
They're brand new, you know, give the people a chance to learn, give them a chance to grow.
You know, yeah, if they've come 20 times and 200 times, then it might be time to talk
to them gently and, you know, and, and, and, you know, sometimes there's a nice way to
explain it, like, you know what, or sometimes the husband could be nicely taken aside and
explain to him, since he's the boss, he's the decision maker in any godly home, amen?
Take him aside and gently explain to him and say, you know what, your wife's probably not
going to say no if you offer to take her out and buy a new wardrobe, right?
I mean, that's a nice way of doing it, saying, and, and, you know, maybe, maybe you're the
husband and your wife is not getting the message, you need to get, you know, bring her around
in meekness, maybe a good way to do it would be, honey, I think it's time for you to get
some new clothes because I love you so much and I just want you to have a new wardrobe.
She's like, whoa, where's this coming from?
And then take her out and buy her long skirts and, you know, modest apparel, right?
And then the scantily clad clothing just kind of makes its way to the garbage and just kind
of disappears one piece at a time, okay?
Look, you know, you got to give, you got to be patient with people, especially on areas
that, you know, clothing and hairstyles.
We've had, we've had men come to the church with long hair.
We didn't get that long haired hippie out of here.
We basically go, you know, first of all, I've never, I never had to go to them.
I would just preach about it from the pulpit and then they show up next Sunday with a haircut.
That's usually how it works.
You know what?
Why?
Because they, because it was done in a spirit of love and a spirit of teaching.
You know what?
Here's the thing.
I never change my sermon because of who walks through that door.
If I got a sermon against long hair on men and a long haired man comes in, I'm not changing
my sermon.
But I'm not going to add it either.
I'm not going to be like, oh, long haired guy, there's an extra point, put in a burn
right here, no.
And I learned that from my pastor back in Sacramento, Pastor Nichols, who, you know,
when I was young and learning and he taught me, he said, I never add and I never subtract
depending on who comes through the door.
Whatever I plan to preach, that's what I'm going to preach, not going to change it for
anybody who comes in.
But here's what I do.
Let's say I've got a sermon where I'm preaching against long hair on men or I'm preaching
against pants on women or, you know, whatever the issue that's a kind of a controversial
hot button issue for people.
What I do is when I'm done preaching that, usually I go to those people after the service
and of course I would never apologize for preaching the truth, never.
But I go to that person, you know what I do?
I'm just friendly to them.
I don't mention anything about what I preach, I just go to them and I may be extra friendly
to them and nice them just to let them know without saying anything, just to let them
know, hey, listen, I love you, I'm your friend, I'm not trying to burn you, I'm not trying
to push you out, I don't want you to leave, I don't want you to be offended.
I confirm my love toward that person just by going to them, being a little extra friendly,
being nice and then, you know what, they come back with a haircut and everything's cool.
I don't want to be that pastor that just never mentions it and then half the church is a
long haired hippie.
And I don't want to be the guy who's just burning people, you know, without giving people
a chance.
Look, is there a time to scream and yell and holler and spit and stomp?
Nobody.
Anybody who goes to this church knows that I believe in that.
But discretion tells you when that is appropriate and when that is not appropriate, right?
And one of the main guidelines should be number one, unto whom much is given of him shall
much be required.
People that are new, we expect less of people that are new than we would expect of somebody
who's been saved their whole life, right?
And so that's what discretion would tell us.
And discretion would also tell us that if we're kind and gentle and friendly about it,
we're actually going to have a greater chance of success fixing the problem without hurting
people's feelings but just lovingly taking the moat out of our brother's eye, okay?
There are other corrections that might need to be made about people who are starting to
get involved in drinking, right?
Somebody's starting to get involved in drinking.
Somebody is getting dangerously close to fornication, right?
The clothing example, that was just one example.
What about other things where we see people going down a slippery slope?
Discretion tells us when to take that person aside and gently, kindly, patiently talk to
them.
But you know what?
A lot of times, people come to me and say, hey, do I need to take this person aside about
X, Y, and Z?
A lot of times, I find myself saying, no, that's not a big deal.
Let it go.
Let's just give people a chance to learn and grow and so forth.
Now listen, if somebody ever takes you aside, don't be that person who jumps down their
throat.
How dare you?
Even if they do it wrong, if they're telling the truth, the truth is the truth.
But if you're the taker asider, you need to make sure that you're gentle and meek and
friendly and loving about it and not just on some kind of a high horse like, yeah, it
makes me feel good to go talk down to people and tell them that they're not doing it right
because this is one area that I got one up on them.
Take her down a notch.
I think the reason why this is brought up with women too is some of these things about
being a tattler, a tail bearer, busy body, lacking discretion, nothing against women.
This isn't a battle of the sexes, men versus women.
Women tend to be kind of competitive with each other more than men, true or false.
Women tend to be a little competitive with each other, just saying, not saying everybody
is, but that's the tendency.
There can be a little bit of an attitude when they're in the flesh of take you down a notch
or are you trying to take me down a notch?
We need to be careful and that's why sometimes, you know, man to man works a little better
sometimes than woman to woman when it comes to correcting sin.
But again, discretion tells us that a lot of the time we don't even need to say anything
because we're not perfect and they're not perfect and life goes on and unless it's a
big issue, let it go.
Move on.
Who cares?
That's what discretion will tell you.
So the title of the sermon again is Patience When Teaching.
Why?
Why be patient?
Because we want people to come over to the truth.
We don't want to push people away.
Now if the truth pushes people away, so be it.
Let the chips fall where they may, but let it be because of our position, not because
of our disposition that they were pushed away.
Let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer.
Father, we thank you so much for your word, Lord, and for all the things that we've learned,
Lord.
I thank you that I grew up in a Christian home and I thank you that my parents taught
me sound doctrine literally from my cradle, literally from infancy.
I've been taught the hymns of the faith.
I've been taught the King James Bible.
I've been taught to memorize the Psalms.
I've been taught sound doctrine.
I'm very thankful for the parents that I had, Lord, and I thank you for the churches that
I grew up in and, Lord, thank you for everything I've learned up to this point, Lord.
Help me not to become prideful or to just forget that I was also sometimes foolish,
disobedient, and deceived, and, Lord, help those who have not grown up in a Christian
home, Lord, help them to get the teaching and to be able to learn from people who are
patient with them and to be able to grow at their own level, and in Jesus' name I pray,
Amen.
I've got to say one more thing.
This slipped my mind.
I've got to just tag this on to the end of the sermon.
Have you ever noticed certain places where you go and you feel like everybody just treats
you like an idiot?
Now, I don't know about you, but whenever I go to a gun store, I feel like an idiot.
Who's had that experience before?
Certain people, you know what I mean?
You walk into a gun store and people are condescending.
You walk in and you don't know everything about guns and they're just like, you idiot,
because you're not a gun expert.
Who knows what I'm talking about?
Been there?
Yeah.
We don't want people to walk into church and that's how we act towards them.
You don't know Romans 1?
Idiot.
Did you get saved yesterday?
Moron.
But that's how I've felt that way sometimes in a gun store.
Some martial arts studios, you'll go in there and they just treat you like you're a retard
because you're not just an expert, right?
That's what I'm talking about.
We want to stay away from that feeling in our church.
We want our church to be a place that's welcoming to the beginner, the novice.
Let's sing our last song.