Man, now the part of the chapter that I'd like to focus on there is at the beginning
in Ephesians chapter 6 where the Bible reads,
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Honor thy father and mother, which is the first commandment, with promise that it may
be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture
and admonition of the Lord.
And what I want to preach about tonight is the subject of children obeying their parents.
Now this is something that the Bible emphasizes, and here he brings out the commandment from
the Ten Commandments, honor thy father and mother.
And then he says that this is the first commandment with promise, saying that out of the commandments
that are given there, this is the first one that has a promise associated with it, that
if you'll obey this commandment, this blessing will come upon you.
He says, honor thy father and mother, and then in verse 3 he says, that it may be well
with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
So that tells me that if you don't honor your father and mother, it's probably not going
to be well with you, and you're probably not going to live long upon the earth.
Go to Colossians chapter 3.
Colossians chapter number 3 should just be a few pages away from Ephesians in your Bible.
Colossians chapter number 3, just a few pages to the right.
Look at verse number 18 of Colossians chapter 3.
The Bible reads, wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as it is fit in the
Lord.
Husbands, love your wives and be not bitter against them.
Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
Fathers, provoke not your children to anger lest they be discouraged.
So here in Colossians and Ephesians we find very clear instructions for every member of
the family.
He says that wives are to, in Ephesians 5 we didn't read it, but it says that wives
are to obey their husbands, to reverence their husbands.
Here it says that they're to submit to their husbands.
Husbands are supposed to love their wives.
In another place in the Bible it says that they're supposed to care for and nourish and
provide for their wives.
Here he says to the children that their job is to obey their parents in all things, for
this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
And then he tells the fathers, provoke not your children to anger lest they be discouraged.
Now, these are things that are not being taught or practiced today in the United States
in 2012, or 2013 now, at all.
And this is why we have a breakdown in our society.
This is why families are not operating the way that they should.
This is why 75% of marriages are ending in divorce.
This is why children are growing up and not serving God and becoming wicked heathens,
which has destroyed our entire society.
You know, it all starts with the family.
You know, I've known kids who grew up in public school, I've known kids who grew up in Christian
school and that grew up homeschooled, and it seemed like the common denominator with
which ones turned out right was the parents more than anything else, it was the family
more than anything else, raising those children and teaching them right.
But today the family is under attack by our society.
And our society will not back up any of these things.
I mean, any of these things that we've taught from the Bible here, that's where it says
that wives are supposed to obey their husbands.
Find that in America today in 2013.
Find that doctrine.
Find someone who will say that.
You'll find it in an independent Baptist church, that's about probably the only place you're
going to find it, maybe a few other churches.
But in most places, you say that and they're going to look at you like you have two heads.
But look at their divorce rate.
Look at the way their home life is.
Look at the way their children are growing up and being.
And then you look at this teaching here that says that children are supposed to obey their
parents and this doctrine has also gone by the wayside.
Go to Matthew chapter 15.
Matthew chapter 15, this is something that even Jesus preached about while He was on
this earth.
He preached about the subject of children honoring their parents and obeying their parents.
Look at Matthew chapter number 15 verse 1.
If Satan can destroy the family and if Satan can attack the family, he's done a lot to
destroy the next generation.
And that's why he spent so much time basically just attacking the foundations upon which
the family is built and upon which the family arises.
And what I just read for you from Colossians are just some foundational truths that are
important for the family to function properly.
Look at Matthew 15.1, it says, "...then came to Jesus scribes and Pharisees which were
of Jerusalem, saying, Why do thy disciples transgress the tradition of the elders?
For they wash not their hands when they eat bread."
So the Pharisees are finding fault with Jesus because His disciples have not washed their
hands before eating.
And we've all been rebuked by mom and dad or others for not washing our hands before
eating.
But they're finding fault saying, well why are you transgressing the tradition of the
elders?
And Jesus turns it around on them and says, well why do you also, look at verse 3, why
do you also transgress the commandment of God by your tradition?
He says, I'm not worried about whether or not I'm transgressing your tradition.
What we ought to be worried about is whether or not we're transgressing the commandment
of God.
Not just a tradition, but God's commandment.
Look what He says next, "...for God commanded, saying, Honor thy father and mother, and he
that curseth father or mother, let him die the death."
Now that's a pretty strong commandment, wouldn't you say, that Jesus is preaching here?
And He's rebuking the Pharisees for ignoring God's commandments.
And He brings up an example that they've ignored.
He says, the Bible says, honor thy father and mother, and it also said that he that
curseth father or mother, let him die the death.
Now go back, if you would, to Exodus 21.
Exodus chapter 21 is where this commandment comes from, that talks about a person cursing
their father or mother being put to death.
Look at Exodus chapter 21.
Of course in Exodus 20 we find the Ten Commandments.
And in Exodus 20 we find the scripture that says, honor thy father and mother.
But in chapter 21 He goes on and has some more commandments.
And He says in Exodus chapter 21, beginning in verse 15, "...and he that smiteth his father
or his mother shall be surely put to death."
Now what does it mean to smite?
What would be our modern day word for smite?
To hit.
What?
Yeah, hit, smite, strike, whatever you want to call it.
I would probably say that the best equivalent would be to hit, you know, or to strike someone.
And it says here that he that smiteth, or striketh, or hiteth, his father or his mother
shall be surely put to death.
Now that shows right there that God is drawing a line here saying, you know, this is a line
that children should never cross.
And I mean God is saying this is so extreme that in the nation of Israel here in the Old
Testament He said if any child would cross this line they shall be put to death.
I mean that's a very serious violation because there were other things in God's law that
had a much more minor consequence.
For example, if someone is robbing someone else's yard, let's say I go to your backyard
and steal something out of your backyard, you know the punishment was not death for
that.
That's why I stole your cattle.
You know the punishment for that would be that I would pay fourfold or fivefold.
That's a much less severe punishment than death, isn't it?
But the Bible says that if you were to actually physically assault your parents in those days
you would be put to death.
That shows how God says, you know, there's a line that children should not cross.
And not only that, there's a line verbally that children should not cross.
Look at verse 16.
It says he that stealeth a man and selleth him, or if he be found in his hand he shall
surely be put to death.
This is talking about kidnapping.
You know, if someone kidnaps, obviously they're going to be put to death.
But then he comes back to the subject of children and parents in verse 17 and he says and he
that curseth his father or his mother shall surely be put to death.
Now you say what does that mean to curse your mother or your father?
A lot of people don't understand the word curse because they think basically, oh you're
talking about curse words or cussing.
But when the Bible says curse, what that would be is you're actually saying to them that
you want something bad to happen to them.
Okay, for example, if someone said go to hell, that is a curse.
Or if someone said, you know, may you die, you know, in a horrible way or something.
I mean that's a curse.
If I'm saying, you know, bad things, I desire for bad things to come upon you.
You know, that would be a curse, right?
And the opposite would be a blessing.
And that would be if I wanted good things to happen to you and I said to you, you know,
for example, when God blessed Adam and Eve and said be fruitful and multiply and replenish
the earth.
Or when they blessed Rebekah and said be thou the mother of thousands of millions.
Or you know, when Jacob is blessing, I'm sorry, when Isaac is blessing Jacob and he's saying,
you know, you're going to rule over your brethren and the fields are going to bring forth bounteously
to you.
And that's how good things that are going to happen to you, whereas a curse would be
if I said to you, you know, I hope you die in a car crash.
That's a curse according to the Bible.
That's what the Bible means biblically when it says cursing someone.
You know what?
I hope you die.
That is a curse, okay?
Now if a child, according to the Bible, were to say to their parents something like that,
some kind of a curse that says, hey, I wish you would die or I wish you would go to hell.
You know, that is such a bad thing to say that the Bible says that that person would
be put to death.
So if they either physically assaulted their parent or if they cursed their parent, the
Bible says they shall surely, not maybe, they shall surely be put to death.
So this shows that God expects children to have respect for their parents, to obey their
parents, to honor their parents, never to physically strike their parents, and never
to curse their parents.
Now let me ask you this.
According to the Bible, go to Proverbs if you would, go to Proverbs, you know, does
the Bible teach that parents should ever strike their children?
Well yes it absolutely does because the Bible does teach that parents should discipline
their children with the rod.
Now let me show you what the Bible says in Proverbs chapter 13 here.
And you say, why are you teaching this?
You know, because we have a generation of children that does not obey their parents,
okay?
See the Bible says, this know also, while you're turning to Proverbs 13, the Bible says
in 2 Timothy 3, it says, this know also that in the last days perilous times shall come.
He's saying in the last days dangerous times will come, that's what perilous means.
And he explains why perilous times will come.
For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient
to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, truce breakers, false accusers,
incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, high-minded, lovers
of pleasures more than lovers of God.
We can see those things in the world that we live in today.
We can see the boasting, the covetousness, the pridefulness, we can see that we live
in a dangerous time, crime abounds, violent crime abounds.
And he says that part of the purpose of this is that people in the last days will be disobedient
to their parents.
Notice, that's thrown in this list with all that other really bad stuff.
He throws that in the list and says they're going to be disobedient to parents.
Why?
Because children who are disobedient to their parents, they grow up and they're disobedient
to God, meaning that they go out and commit all manner of sin and all manner of crimes
against their fellow man.
Because they didn't learn to obey their parents, they're not going to learn to obey God either.
Because the parents are an authority placed in their life by God and they have to learn
how to obey their parents so that one day they'll learn how to obey God.
But we're living in a time in the last days where people will be disobedient to parents,
the Bible teaches, and we can see that all around us, and we can see that these days
it's a rare thing to find children that are respectful and obedient to their parents.
Children today have no respect for their parents.
But go if you would to Proverbs chapter number 13 and I want to show you what the Bible says
about disciplining your children.
You know, I've lost my place.
Does somebody know where the verse is that I'm looking for?
It's not what I had written down.
Okay here we go.
Look at Proverbs 13 24.
It says, he that spareth his rod, hateth his son.
Do you see that?
He that spareth his rod, hateth his son.
But he that loveth him, chasteneth him betimes.
Betimes means early.
And so the Bible teaches right there that we must discipline our children and that we
discipline them with the rod.
Now some have said, well when the Bible says the rod, you know, it's not really referring
to a spanking.
It's not really referring to corporal punishment.
It just means a rod to guide them and to basically, you know, keep them on the right path.
But you know the Bible says, withhold not correction from the child.
For if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
Thou shall beat him with the rod and shall deliver his soul from hell.
So right there, God commands parents to discipline their children with the rod of correction.
And he says if you don't do it, you don't love your children.
He says if you love them, you'll apply the rod.
He said he that spareth his rod, hateth his son.
Now you'll often hear the phrase, spare the rod, spoil the child.
We've all heard that, right?
But that's not what the Bible says.
The Bible says he that spareth his rod, hateth his son.
Now you see, that doesn't roll off the tongue as easily, does it?
That didn't become a popular phrase.
The popular phrase is something that's not found in the Bible.
He that spareth his rod, you know, spoils the child.
And it's true as the day is long, I'm not saying it's not true.
But what the Bible says is even stronger when he says he that spareth his rod, hateth his
son.
But he that loveth him, chasteneth him betimes.
And so this is an important matter of disciplining our children.
And the Bible even says in the New Testament, for whom the Lord loveth, he chasteneth and
scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
If he therefore endure chastening, he says God dealeth with you as with sons.
But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards and
not sons.
Furthermore, we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us and we gave them reverence.
Shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits and live?
And so people say, oh that's an Old Testament doctrine.
It's reiterated in Hebrews 12.
He said the fathers of our flesh, they correct us and chasten us and also our Heavenly Father
chastens us.
And let me tell you something.
He said that we have had fathers of our flesh, talking about our physical father, which corrected
us and listen to this, we gave them reverence.
So the result of a parent disciplining their child is that their child gives them reverence.
What does reverence mean?
Respect.
The Bible says that because our fathers chastened us and corrected us, we gave them reverence.
And you see, children who are not chastened by their father, who the rod is not used on
them, they don't respect their parents.
They don't reverence them.
They don't fear them.
They do not have a healthy respect for them.
They blow off their, shut up dad, shut up mom, I hate you, I, you know, cursing them.
And you know, I've even seen children smite their parents.
I've seen it.
My sister was in the doctor's office about a year ago and in that doctor's office there
was a small child in that office, I forget the exact age, but maybe around say 9 or 10
years old, somewhere in that neighborhood.
And this child wanted to play a video game on his mother's phone.
And the mother needed to make a phone call.
So she said, you know, son, I need my phone back so I can make this phone call.
No.
So she's like, no, I really need to make this phone call, precious, you know.
So she gets a phone from him and basically he starts to attack her and assault her.
And he literally began to pummel her in the face with his fist.
And I mean he wasn't like a tiny toddler, he was like 9 or something, you know.
I forget the exact age, but somewhere in that neighborhood, began to pummel her to the point
where her face began to be red with the pummeling and the assault of this child.
And everyone in that doctor's office is looking at this woman like she's insane, that she's
allowing her child to punch her in the face and pummel her.
But you know what's funny?
You walk through that door of that waiting room into the doctor's office and you know
what they'll tell you?
Now don't spank your child.
Who's had a pediatrician tell them don't spank your child?
Hands are going up.
They hand you a little form that explains to you, you know, it's a doctor.
It's funny how doctors now, they are there to socially program you also.
It's all part of mental health.
This is your mental health center, Faithful Word Baptist Church.
This is your mental health textbook.
Here's your prescription.
Take one of these and call me in the morning.
Because this is what you need to get your, the Bible says, for God has not given us the
spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
A sound mind comes from the Word of God and the Spirit of God.
But today doctors, you know, it's funny because I, you know, I go to the doctor as little
as possible.
You know, I mean I go if I need it, but they the behold need not a physician and I just
try to be healthy and try to stay away from it.
You know, I, I gashed open my finger a few months ago and I had to go to the doctor and
get it stitched up, but I removed the stitches myself.
So you know, I'm just saying, you know, sometimes you need the doctor, but I'm not one that
just goes to the doctor at the drop of a hat, but I've talked to people who go to the doctor
more often than I do and you talk to them and like literally, a friend of mine went
to the doctor and was asked recently, the doctor asked them if they had guns in their
house.
I mean, what, this is, this is medicine?
I mean it's like the doctor is some kind of a government spy now or something.
You say, oh, so you're not supposed to spank your children, you know, oh, and how many
guns do you have in your house?
You know, you're like, what?
And I've talked to several people.
You think I'm crazy, you think I'm making this up, I can tell you people have said that
they were asked by the doctor if they have guns in the home and it was on paperwork.
I filled out paperwork to get a permit for installing a fire alarm system and it asked
me if I had guns in my house and that was in Peoria, Arizona to get a fire alarm license.
I had to fill out a thing that said, do you have guns in your home?
What does that have to do with installing a fire alarm?
What does that have to do with medicine?
Okay, but anyway, that has nothing to do with the sermon, I don't know how I got off on
that.
But anyway, what I'm saying is, you know, the doctor's going to sit there and tell you,
don't spank your child.
And then you wonder why in the waiting room some woman's getting pummeled by her nine
year old.
Because of that lying devilish philosophy that says, don't spank your children.
Let them spank you.
Let them curse you.
Let them smite you.
Let them rule over you.
No, the Bible teaches that every man should bear rule in his home.
And that children are to be in obedience and submission to their parents.
And let me tell you something children, and there are children in the room that are listening
to the sermon tonight, you obey your parents, children.
Because the Bible commands you and says this is right and if you want your days to be long
and if you want to live long on the earth, you'll honor your father and mother and obey
your parents and the Lord.
Look at Proverbs chapter 6, just go back a few pages.
Proverbs chapter number 6, Proverbs chapter number 6, the Bible reads in verse number 20,
My son, keep thy father's commandment.
Now it doesn't say keep thy father's suggestion, does it?
It says, My son, keep thy father's commandment and forsake not the law of thy mother.
Bind them continually upon thy heart and tie them about thy neck.
When thou goest, it shall lead thee.
When thou sleepest, it shall keep thee.
And when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee.
For the commandment is a lamp and the law is light and reproofs of instruction are the
way of life.
To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.
Lest not after her beauty in thy heart, neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
For by means of a whorish woman, a man is brought to a piece of bread and the adulterous
will hunt for the precious life.
Can a man take fire in his bosom and his clothes not be burned?
Can one go upon hot coals and his feet not be burned?
So he that goeth into his neighbor's wife, whosoever toucheth her, shall not be innocent.
You know the Bible here tells us that it's the parent's teaching, our father's commandment
and the law of our mother that's going to guide us and help us for the rest of our life.
Even when we're an adult, even when we leave home, it'll guide us, it'll talk with us,
it'll help us, it'll get us through difficult times and it will keep us away from the evil
woman, the one that is a whorish woman that the Bible warns men to stay away from.
And they abound.
But the Bible is teaching us that we should obey our parents.
Now look, you say, well Pastor Anderson, as an adult man, do you obey your parents?
Well no, I do not look to my parents to instruct me at this point in my life because of the
fact that the Bible says that children are to obey their parents and the Bible teaches
that a man gets to a point in his life where he leaves father and mother and cleaves unto
his wife and they too shall be one flesh.
But I will say this, even though my parents are not calling me tonight saying, now son,
you need to be in bed at this time, or you know, son, you need to make sure, how many
vegetables have you eaten today, son?
My parents are not ruling over me at this stage in life.
I have my own house and I do not ask them what I need to do, but I'll say this though,
I've not forsaken the law of my mother.
I'm still keeping the commandments of my father in my heart.
Because you know, when you're growing up, your parents are there ruling over you and
they're telling you, do this, don't do that, and they're in charge of you, okay?
But even when you grow up though, the things that they've taught you can stay with you
and help you live a righteous life.
You know, if my parents taught me a certain way of living my life and they taught me the
commandments of the Lord and they taught me to go to church and they taught me to read
the Bible, they taught me to pray, they taught me to stay away from this and stay away from
that, you know what?
I am going to stick with those things for the rest of my life because the Bible says
train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
So even when I'm not under my parents' authority, I'm still not departing from what they trained
me and taught me.
I'm still going in the way that I was taught by them and that's our job as parents to train
up our children in the way that they should go so that it can guide them and teach them
for the rest of their life.
You know, for example, you know, if I'm teaching my sons and saying, son, you know, the Bible
says be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers and the Bible says that, you know,
you should not marry an unbeliever.
And so I don't allow, and let's say, so my son's a teenager and he wants to hang around
with an unbelieving girl or date an unbelieving girl and I say, no, son, you know, you need
to choose a girl that is a believer and not be dating unsaved girls.
You know, that's not going to work, son, right?
Well then what if he grows up and leaves home and says, well, now I can get away from dad,
I'm not under dad's authority.
Yeah, but you need to not forsake what dad taught you because it was from the Bible.
You know, and those commandments of your father and the law of your mother should stay with
you and guide you and say, you know what, I remember my dad always taught me not to
do this.
Or my dad always said don't do this.
You know, and that stuff can help you.
Go to Proverbs 1, just a few pages backward in your Bible there, Proverbs chapter 1.
The Bible says in verse number 7 of Proverbs 1, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of
knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
Saying fools hate to be instructed.
They hate to have someone teach them how to do something.
You know, you ever go to a job and you got a new guy who just got hired and you say,
hey, let me show you how to do this.
Oh, I got it, I got, no, let me show you how to do it.
But they know everything.
They don't want to be instructed.
They don't want to be taught.
He said you're a fool.
The wise person wants to be taught.
They want to learn as much as they can.
They want to listen to what people who know more than them have to say.
And it says, fools despise wisdom and instruction.
My son, hear the instruction of thy father.
And that tells me right there that fathers should be instructing their children.
And that children should be listening to those instructions.
And it says, hear the instruction of thy father and forsake not the law of thy mother, for
they shall be an ornament of grace under thy head and chains about thy neck.
Now this is not saying, you know, chains around your neck like, oh man, you know, I'm shackled
up in a prison cell or something.
You know, that's not what this is saying.
He says, an ornament of grace upon thy head and chains about thy neck.
You know, this is like an adornment of something that's very valuable to you, okay.
You know, whenever the Bible talks about, you know, they're going to put a golden chain
around somebody's neck, it was, you know, it was a sign of wealth and power and prestige
and stuff like that.
And, you know, that's what he's referring to here.
He said, you know, this will be an ornament of grace under thy head and chains about thy
neck.
You know, we need to get back to a culture, especially amongst God's people, that says
that children are supposed to obey their parents.
And this needs to be a priority in our household to demand that our children obey us.
And you know what?
When I see the word children, you know, I'm not, I'm not thinking, oh, okay, well now
that they're 13, that no longer applies.
Oh, now they're 15, that, you know, I don't believe that.
You know, the Bible called a 17 year old boy, a child, in the book of Genesis in regard
to Joseph, okay.
And let me tell you something, when you're living at home, when you're a teenager and
you're living at home and all of a sudden you magically turn 18, that doesn't mean that
you're the boss now.
And you're going to tell your parents what to do and you're going to mouth off to them
and you're going to do whatever you want.
You know what?
As long as my children are living in my house, they're going to obey me.
Anyone who lives in my house is going to obey me because it's my house, because I'm paying
the bills, okay.
And I pay the cost to be the boss, my friend, and I'm not, you know, I'm not going to let
my children, you know, let the tail wag the dog.
I'm not going to let my children rule over me, I'm going to rule over that house, okay.
And look, my children are happy and smiling, you know why?
Because children are happy when they're in their proper place.
Because you find the child that's never disciplined.
Find the child where the parents have spared the rod.
Find the child that has no boundaries and that does whatever it wants and it's not a
happy child.
It's ehh, ehh.
You know, and you go to the grocery store, they're throwing themselves on the ground,
they're screaming and whining and crying and wanting, I want this, I want this, and they
can never be satisfied no matter what you give them because they're a bad child because
they've not been disciplined and corrected and the Bible teaches, you know, that if you
beat them with the rod, you'll deliver their soul from hell.
Why?
Because the child who's never disciplined doesn't even believe hell exists.
The child who's never disciplined grows up and thinks there's never any consequences
for their actions.
There's never any, you know, God is just like my parents, he just talks a big talk and there's
never really any punishment.
You know, I'm, you know, we need to show our children a boundary, my friend.
You know, there's a lot that the Bible has to say about child rearing, there's a lot
of great wisdom in the Bible.
One of the things that comes up over and over again is the rod and that's part of it.
That's obviously not the whole thing.
There also needs to be teaching, there also needs to be training and instructing and nurturing.
Obviously just the rod is not enough.
But then what I see in our society is that what takes the place of the rod is anger,
okay?
Because you'll see parents, when they don't discipline their children, they become very
angry.
And I don't blame them.
Because if you have a child that is just refusing to obey, refusing to do what's right, throwing
a fit, throwing a tantrum, it could really make your life miserable, don't you think?
I mean people look at my family and they say, you have seven children?
How in the world do you have seven children?
I can't even handle one or I can't even handle two, like are you crazy?
Yeah but it's because your kid's a monster, that's why.
Because you have not corrected or trained or instructed your child and so you can't
fathom having seven of them.
That's why you only have one or two because your child is walking all over you, okay?
Because you're not correcting your child.
And so this is what happens.
Because the child is bratty, angry, fussy, never happy, never doing what it's supposed
to do, you know, they don't want to have more children.
And not only that, but they become angry with the child that they have.
And you know, even the ones who have the patience of Job, you know, and even parents who are
very patient and they just, you know, no no, no no, you know, I told you no.
And they're just real patient, you know what, eventually they're going to snap.
Because everybody's got their breaking point.
You know, and when your child is like no, slapping you in the face or whatever, eventually
you're going to blow up.
And if you don't, man, you're nothing like me because I would get angry.
Sometimes I get angry just seeing other people's kids mouth off to them, let alone my own children.
But you know, anger becomes the substitute for the rod.
Because here's the thing, if you do it the Bible way, you don't have to get angry.
You can stay calm.
And if your child is disobedient and rebellious, you know, you can basically discipline that
child, you can spank the child.
I'm not talking about, you know, beating up or abusing your child.
Obviously we're talking about, you know, applying the rod of correction to the seed of learning,
you know.
And basically the padded area on their body that God designed to receive the punishment.
You know, and so if you just apply that discipline to the child and spank your child like people
have been doing for thousands of years before this modern psychological garbage, if you
would just discipline your child, you don't have to get mad.
You just fix the problem and you go on with your life.
And you're happier and they're happier.
I mean I've noticed, you know, I spank my children and 30 seconds later they're grinning
and playing and happy.
Why?
Because they know that it's over.
They've done the crime, they've done the time, you know, they've paid for their punishment
and they feel a sense of justice has been served and they don't have guilt.
Now I've noticed that when people do wrong to you, when people do wrong to you, they're
mad at you.
Now it's counterintuitive because you'd expect that if someone did wrong to me, wouldn't
you think I'd be mad at them because they did wrong to me?
But it's actually the opposite.
The people that do wrong to you, they're mad at you also.
I remember one time I was working at a job and this is when I was really young and kind
of immature.
I was a teenager and I showed up late on the job, you know, because it was totally my fault.
You know, I was just a young guy and I was a teenager and I made a mistake and I showed
up late to the job and it was completely my fault.
And I remember in the course of the day, I had said something a little bit rude or
something to my supervisor and my supervisor said to me, he said, hey, are you still mad
at me for you being late today?
Are you still mad at me that you were late?
And I remember thinking to myself, I am mad at you that I was late.
Because here's the thing, when you know that you're wrong, it makes you mad.
When you get mad at the person to whom you've done the wrong.
And I can't explain it, it doesn't make any sense, it's not right.
It's definitely sin, right?
Being angry at the person who you've done wrong to.
But here's the thing, because you feel guilt, right?
And the guilt bothers you and it makes you upset, okay?
But when you're punished for what you've done wrong, then you feel better.
Because it's like, okay, I've been punished, everything's okay now, we're back to normal,
everything's been taken care of.
If you break something and then you pay for it, it's like, okay, everything's good now.
It's been evened out here.
Well, it's the same thing with parenting.
When you spank your child, they feel that, okay, I've done wrong, I've been punished,
it's over, I can move forward.
And you know what?
We ought to be merciful and forgiving and not keep bringing up.
If our child disobeys and we discipline it, we shouldn't keep bringing it up for the rest
of the day.
It's over.
And that's part of what's wrong with our society also.
The Bible teaches forgiveness.
The Bible teaches that if a person is punished for their crimes, that you should not mention
those crimes to them again.
But yet today we have a system where, let's say somebody goes out and breaks the law,
they carry a criminal record with them for the rest of their life.
That's not biblical.
So let's say somebody does something wrong.
Let's say somebody steals something, right?
And then they go to jail for a felony because they stole something.
Now for the rest of their life, every application they fill out.
You know, have you ever been convicted of a crime?
Have you ever committed a felony?
Have you ever been arrested?
Have you, you know, and it's like, yes I have.
And then they can't even get a good job and then they're probably just going to go back
and do more crime.
But here's the thing, if the punishment for stealing is to go to prison for X amount of
years, once you've gone to prison for that many years, shouldn't it be done?
Should it be paid for?
Now I don't even believe in prison, okay?
I believe in the Bible's mode of punishment, which the Bible had people pay fourfold, pay
fivefold, or receive a beating, or receive even adults.
I mean, not just a child being spanked, but an adult.
If an adult went out and committed some crime, instead of locking them in a cage like they
do now, you know, for 10 years, because that's humane.
That's a humane way to punish somebody, to put them in a cage for 10 years.
Instead they would just basically, you know, take a stick and give them a beating, you
know, or take a whip and beat them.
And that was their punishment.
And they've done that, I remember when I was a kid, there was a country in South America
that did that.
They said, you know, we're going to, if you do graffiti, they said, if you do graffiti,
we're going to cane you, we're going to basically spank you.
We're going to do what your parents failed to do, you know, and they'd spank them, but
I guarantee you this, I bet you if you wouldn't ask every person, and they'd say, oh that's
inhumane, that's not right, that's so cruel.
I guarantee you if we went and asked every prisoner in prison, would you be willing to
take a beating and get out tomorrow and just be caned, be beaten, receive 39 stripes and
be out tomorrow, will you do it?
I think most of them would say, yeah, give me my punishment, just get it over with.
They don't want to be locked up and ruin their whole life, lose their job, lose their wife,
lose their family, lose everything, carry around a record for the rest of their life.
You know what?
What the world, listen to me now, the reason I even bring that up is to show you what the
world thinks is fair and humane is different than what the Bible thinks is fair and humane.
You know what I mean?
And they say, oh spanking your children is cruel, but you know what?
Spanking your children is not cruel.
Spanking your children is what a loving parent does.
Spanking your children is not abuse.
Now obviously there could be somebody out there, and I'm sure you could go find some
weirdo somewhere who spanked their kid 125 times or something, or who spanked their kid
with some horrible implement or something.
But you know what?
Just because you find some weirdo somewhere doesn't change the fact that your average
parent who spanks their child is spanking their children in a normal way.
They're taking a paddle, they're paddling their behind, or they're taking a belt to
their backside.
They're not doing some crazy, radical, bizarre spanking 125 lashes or some nonsense, which
the Bible forbids and commands against.
You know, you can always find some weirdo to make your straw man argument, but the Bible
teaches that spanking your children is the correct form of punishment.
And you know, I think it's more cruel and more abusive to just get angry and scream
at your kids.
You know, and I'll tell you this, when I was growing up, I preferred to get a spanking
than to get screamed at.
And I received both, many times.
Many times I was spanked by my parents, and many times I was railed on by my parents for
an hour or so of just being railed on for an hour.
And you know what?
I always preferred the spanking.
Why?
Because the spanking was just, you get it over with.
You know, it's no fun, but at least you get it over with, and then you can have a good
relationship with your parents again.
The fellowship is restored.
You get the spanking and then five minutes later, everything's fine.
The fellowship's restored.
There's no hostility there in me.
And I've even seen parents say to their little toddler, I'm mad at you.
I'm mad at you.
You're not being very nice to mommy today.
I'm mad at you.
I don't want to be mad at my children.
So I just discipline them and then I don't even get mad at them.
Because if you can just fix the problem, there's no reason to get mad.
There's no reason to get all worked up.
But when you have a problem that just gets worse and worse, then everybody gets mad.
And then nobody's happy.
And then you have all kinds of problems.
And so, you know, we need to understand that God's way is the right way.
The Bible's way is the right way.
And you know what, I'm a strong believer.
Go to Proverbs chapter 30, I'm almost done.
But I'm a strong believer in children obeying their parents.
Now let me say this, when I was about 15, 16 years old, like most 15, 16 year olds,
I had a little bit of an attitude toward my parents.
You know, and probably most kids at that age, they can fall into this sin of being disrespectful
toward their parents, having an attitude toward their parents.
And you know, I didn't think my parents were fair.
And you know, obviously no parents are perfect, but you know, I was wrong.
And I thought, you know, my parents are unreasonable, my parents aren't fair, you know.
And I remember just thinking, you know, when I turn 18, I'm out of here.
I mean, if you would have asked me when I was 15 or 16, it was like, man, when I hit
that 18th birthday, I'm out of here.
I mean, I was counting down.
I had it all planned out, you know, I'd talk to people and find out, you know, how much
it takes to live on, and you know, how much I'm going to have to make at my job in order
to have my own place and everything, am I going to need to get a roommate, whatever.
And I was just like, man, I want out of this house.
And I didn't want to, I didn't, you know, in my mind, it wasn't that I wanted to rebel
against the Lord or get out of church, I just didn't want to live at home anymore and have
my parents being unreasonable to me, you know, and unreasonable treatment, in my mind.
And so when I was 15 or 16, it was like, man, when I turn 18, I'm leaving this house, I'm
moving out, I'm going to do what I want to do, it's going to be great, I can't wait to
just have peace and just get out and do my own thing.
But you know what?
Around the time that I was 16, I started reading the Bible a lot, and when I was 17, I got
into an independent fundamental Baptist church that had strong preaching, and I remember
that as I started to get right with God, and as I started going soul winning and reading
my Bible and going to church, I realized, you know what, I'm not doing everything I'm
supposed to be doing.
You know, I can sit here and blame my parents and say, my parents are unreasonable, my parents
are too hard to get along with, it's their fault, but I said, you know what, I'm not
doing everything that I should be doing.
I should, you know, go above and beyond and be very obedient and respectful and honor
my parents, and you know what, as soon as I started to do that, the problem was solved.
And all my life, I thought that they were the problem.
And I'm thinking, man, when I'm 18, I'm out here, and I thought they're the problem, but
you know what, as soon as I started to be nice to them, go out of my way to be nice
to them, go out of my way to obey them and respect them and be kind to them, it was like,
it went a long way.
I mean, my mom and dad's attitude toward me completely changed when they saw me reaching
out to them.
You know, so it's easy as a child to just say, oh my parents, you don't understand what
my parents are.
But you know what, that is not, that is not the truth.
Because if you will obey and reverence and be nice to your parents, and I remember, you
know, I started trying to help out with housework without even being asked, and they were like,
what's going on?
You know, I mean, that'll shock your parents.
You know, I remember, I mean, my wife doesn't even believe this, but I remember I came home
from my job at Round Table Pizza and just started doing the dishes.
And my mom's like, what are you doing?
I'm like, I'm just helping out with the dishes.
She's just like, what?
You know?
You know, because she didn't ask me to, I was just trying, but I was just thinking to
myself, you know what, I should try to be nice to my parents and obey them and do things
that they would want me to do and try to get along with them.
And I'll tell you this, I got to the place where I had a very good relationship with
my parents.
Even though when I was younger I didn't have as good of a relationship with my parents,
by the time I turned like 18, 19 years old, I had a very good relationship with my parents.
And I went from wanting to move out and wanting to do my own thing to actually wanting to
stay at home.
And I did stay at home.
When I turned 18, I did not move out.
I took a short trip, but I stayed living with my parents until I got married.
And I got married when I turned 19, but I stayed during that year until I got married.
And after I got married, my wife and I would get together for dinner with my parents every
week, once a week.
We would get together and have dinner with them, and we were friends with them, and we
got along very well with them.
And I am so thankful, I'm so thankful that I made things right with my parents.
I am so glad that I didn't just move out when I was 18, because I wonder how it would have
affected the whole rest of my life.
You know, if I would have just had problems with my parents and then just ran away from
the problem.
You know, just turn 18 and I'm gone.
Instead of learning how to get along with my parents.
You know, because by learning how to get along with my parents, that taught me how to get
along in other areas of life.
That taught me how to be a good employee.
That taught me how to be a good church member.
That taught me even how to get along with my wife, and even how to get along with my
children, and even how to get along with my friends.
You know, you learn something by doing what's right in a difficult situation.
And I remember when I was a teenager, this was one of the scriptures that I read.
If you would, look at Proverbs chapter 30.
This is one, because when I was 17 years old, I memorized this chapter.
I was starting to memorize a few chapters of the Bible, and when I was 17 I memorized
this chapter.
And this is one of the things that helped me.
But of course it says in verse 11, there is a generation that cursed at their father and
does not bless their mother.
And obviously that's the generation we're living in.
A generation that cursed at their father and does not bless their mother.
But here's the verse that really jumped out at me as a 17 year old boy.
Verse 17, the eye that mocketh at his father and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens
of the valley shall pick it out and the young eagles shall eat it.
Now that's a pretty strong curse there.
That says, look, if you mock at your father, and if you despise to obey your mother, this
is the burden that God's putting on you.
This is the curse that he's putting on you, that the ravens of the valley will pick out
your eyes and the young eagles shall eat them.
You know what?
I read that and I said, you know what, God wants me to respect and obey my parents.
And the Bible says, honor thy father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise,
that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.
And even if you're an adult, you should still honor your father and mother, respect your
father and mother, and the things that they taught you when you were in their home as
a child, you should still live by and abide by those things.
Now obviously if they taught you something that was contrary to the word of God, obviously
you need to obey the higher power and obey God rather than men, but whatever your parents
taught you that is in line with the word of God, you better be very careful to obey it.
And we live in a day of rebellious young people, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, single young
people that are not married and they are disrespectful to their parents, they mouth off to their
parents, they start throwing their weight around at holiday gatherings, they start telling
them off and telling them what to do and everything's their fault and they blame mom
and dad and they don't submit to their parents, it's wrong.
It's wrong.
And you young people need to understand that when you sin against your parents you're sinning
against God.
Because God is the one that commanded you to children obey your parents and the Lord
for this is right.
So when you disobey your parents, you're not just disobeying your parents, you're disobeying
the Bible when you disobey your parents.
And that's a very serious matter.
And so we ought to, as parents, make sure that we have the right methods of raising
our children and treating our children and training them and loving them and caring for
them and spending time with them and disciplining them.
But also as children, you need to make sure that you have a lot of respect for your parents.
And I often wonder, I look at my grandma who is 91 years old and I wonder why God allowed
her to be 91 years old and be in perfect health and have a perfect mind and everything.
And she always has spoken very highly of her parents and was always very obedient to her
parents.
And it makes me wonder if that's part of that fulfillment right there.
That she's been so blessed because of the great respect and deference that she showed
unto her parents.
She said it's because she eats oatmeal for breakfast and dinner every day.
And I asked her, but she said, oh but I definitely honor my father and mother.
And I've talked to her for hours and hours on end and she's always very respectful and
loving toward her parents.
She's always had nothing but good to say about them.
And so even at this stage in my life, I'm glad I got that figured out when I was a teenager
and I made things right with my parents before I left the home.
But even at this age, even where I'm at in life right now, 31 years old, I still have
it in my mind, I better treat my parents well.
Because my parents have done a lot for me, my parents have taught me a lot.
And by the way, in that list of bad attributes, right after disobedient to parents, he said
unthankful was the next thing in the list.
He said, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy.
Because we need to realize our parents went through a lot to bring us into this world.
I think about what it's like when my wife gives birth.
I've watched her give birth seven times.
And it's a pretty harrowing experience.
I mean it's definitely not a walk in the park, is it?
And it's painful and it's a very intense thing.
And then just diapering those bottoms, I mean how many thousands of diapers?
How many hours of screaming and crying in the middle of the night and all the money
that you spend to feed and to clothe and to take care of them.
And then it's just, ah, my parents, ah, ah.
That is a wicked attitude.
That is wicked for children to grow up and have no respect for the people who brought
them into this world.
And by the way, when you're a kid you just think all this stuff just magically happens.
You just think you just magically live in a fancy two story house and you just magically
drive around in fancy cars and go on vacations and eat great meals and everything's always
taken care of.
But then you grow up and you realize how hard it is to make all that stuff happen.
And then you start to have more respect for your parents.
But you know what?
When you're a young person, if you're smart, you'll have that respect for your parents
now.
And you'll realize that God's looking down on you from heaven and He sees how you treat
your parents and He sees what your attitude is toward your parents and He's deciding how
long you're going to live and how well it's going to go with you on this earth.
And He's looking at how you honor your parents as part of that equation.
Let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer.
Father we thank you for your word.
We live in a day where there's so much confusion and there are so many worldly philosophies
and lies that are out there that are destroying marriages, they're destroying families, they're
causing fighting and strife between husband and wife, and they're causing fighting and
strife between parents and children because the proper order and the proper bounds that
you've set are being ignored.
Father help it not to be so among your people.
As this world goes into total chaos and a totally heathen philosophy, help us as your
people to be old-fashioned.
To let the Bible guide and direct us in our marriages, in our families, in our child rearing
and in our respect toward our parents.
Help us to get a biblical philosophy between parents and children and in Jesus' name we
pray.