In verse number one the Bible reads, my breath is corrupt, my days are extinct, the graves
are ready for me.
And death is something that Job pretty much talks about in every single chapter when he's
speaking in the book of Job.
And usually he's talking about how he wants to die or he's about to die.
And so that's really how this chapter starts up right away by him saying the graves are
ready for me.
Are there not mockers with me?
I believe referring to his friends there.
And doth not mine eye continue in their provocation?
And of course we know that whenever we do what's right, whenever we preach what's right,
there are going to be people there that will mock and make fun of us for doing that.
There are always going to be people who attack us and insult us for that.
It says in verse three, lay down now, put me in assurity with thee.
Who is he that will strike hands with me?
For thou hast hid their heart from understanding, therefore shalt thou not exalt them.
He that speaketh flattery to his friends, even the eyes of his children, shall fail.
He hath made me also a byword of the people and aforetime I was as a tabard.
Let me just point out a few things in these verses.
First of all, a byword would be a word that you use where you take somebody's name and
you just associate it with some bad action all the time.
Like, for example, I remember one time I worked in an alarm job and there was a guy named
Tom and we were wiring up all these microphones, okay?
And basically, you know, he wired the thing up and soldered it, you know, before he put
the cap on it, on the microphone.
And then it was like, oh man, he didn't put the cap, he has to undo the whole thing and
start all over, put the thing back on.
So then that just became, don't be a Tom, you know, don't pull a Tom.
And you know, if you've ever worked at a job, there are all kinds of things like that, you
know.
One guy will make a mistake one time and then that just forever becomes like being Tom.
Oh, you're doing a Tom, you're being like Tom.
And so that's what it means to be a byword.
It's when somebody takes your name and just uses it as a derogatory insult to describe
some bad action, okay?
For example, you know, you could think of like Bill Clinton, you know, committing adultery.
And you say, you know, he was basically like Bill Clinton or he was being likened to Bill
Clinton and just using that to just refer to anybody who's committing adultery or whatever.
Just when somebody's name just becomes associated with something bad, something wicked.
And he's basically saying that he's become a byword of the people where people just,
if they want to talk about somebody who's a loser, they're basically, they're a Job.
That's what it means to be a byword.
It's when your name just becomes synonymous with something bad.
And he says that he's been made a byword of the people.
He said a four time, I was as a tabret, which is a musical instrument.
So his name used to, you know, people would hear it and it was something that made them
feel good and they had good associations with that name.
Now when they hear that name, it's like a cuss word.
You know, when they hear that name, it has a derogatory connotation with it.
They wouldn't want to be called a Job or to be like Job.
Now look at verse number 5.
It says,
He that speaketh flattery to his friends, even the eyes of his children shall fail.
That's a pretty serious curse.
God is saying that someone who is a flatterer, God will not only punish them, but He will
also punish their children.
Even the eyes of His children shall fail.
That curse is placed upon them.
Now you say, would God actually curse the children for what the parents have done?
Well the Bible is very clear that the sins of the fathers are visited upon the children
unto the third and fourth generation.
And so truly God does punish the children for what the parents have done.
Now this is pretty easy because you say, well that's not fair, that doesn't make any sense.
Let me start out by saying this.
When it comes to human government and human justice, the Bible is very clear that it is
never right for us to punish the children for what the parents have done.
The Bible makes it very clear that every man is punished for his own sin and that the children
should not be punished for what the parents have done, but God will curse the children
for what the parents have done throughout the Bible.
For example, the first real serious example of this in the Bible is in Genesis chapter
9.
When Ham sins and is perverted, when his father Noah is drunken, and Canaan is cursed as a
result.
Canaan receives the curse for Ham's actions in Genesis chapter 9.
Now one thing I want to point out when it comes to the children being cursed for what
the parents have done and the sins of the parents being visited upon the children is
that it's not impossible to overcome that curse.
And a perfect example is with Canaan.
The Canaanites were very wicked and ungodly people and they were cursed by God going all
the way back to Genesis chapter 9, but does that mean that there are not any examples
of good Canaanites or godly righteous Canaanites who were able to go against that trend and
go upstream and become rightly used by God?
We have some examples such as Simon the Canaanite.
Jesus is decided, and people, it's amazing how they just don't accept this.
If you go on, I remember a while back I preached a sermon called Simon the Canaanite.
And I went on, after I had written my whole sermon, I went on Google just to see, does
anybody believe that he's actually a Canaanite?
Just because my whole life I've always said, well he's not really a Canaanite.
And I searched, I couldn't find a single preacher that would say that he was a Canaanite.
They all had all these elaborate explanations for what the Bible meant when it said Simon
the Canaanite.
Well what it really meant is he was from Cana, where Jesus turned the water into wine.
He was a Canaanite.
Or they said, well he's a Canaanite, that's just geographically where he's from.
And usually all the commentary, every commentary, every preacher, they all said he's not really
a Canaanite.
Because they start with an assumption, here's what they say, well we know that all of the
Lord's disciples were Jews.
We know they were all Jews, so therefore there's no way that Simon could have been a Canaanite.
But you know, call me crazy, I just believe he was a Canaanite.
And there's no evidence anywhere, there's nothing to refute the fact that he was a Canaanite
except just somebody's opinion that says, well of course every one of his disciples
is going to be a Jew, of course.
But wait a minute, what about the fact that the Bible taught in the Old Testament that
if one would be circumcised and keep the Passover, that he would be accepted into the nation,
and that the stranger who joined the nation in that way would be treated as one that was
born in the land.
So Simon the Canaanite, I'm certain, was circumcised and he was a part of the nation there in Judea.
He lived as a Jew, but ethnically he was a Canaanite.
Ethnically he was a descendant of Canaan.
In fact, the word Canaanite is used throughout the Bible, it's not like it's just used with
that one guy.
It's used scores of times, and every single time it's used it's referring to a descendant
of Canaan.
Now those who believe in the pre-tribulation rapture have a problem with Simon the Canaanite
actually being a Canaanite, because they want to say that all these teachings like
Matthew 24, Mark 13, Luke 21, that Jesus was only talking to the Jews.
So they have a hard time with the fact that there was a guy there who was a Canaanite,
just to kind of mess up that weird doctrine that they have, that he was only talking to
the Jews.
But truly, Simon was a Canaanite, and what that means is that he descended from the man
named Canaan.
Some people will say, no, he was just physically from the geographical region of Canaan.
Hello, the whole nation of Israel is the geographical region of Canaan.
I mean, do you remember that?
That's the land that the children of Israel inherited, Canaan.
The whole land is Canaan.
You might as well say Peter the Canaanite, John the Canaanite, Nathaniel the Canaanite,
because they're all from Canaan.
Jesus' whole ministry is in Canaan, that's the whole land.
It'd be like this, think about this, okay?
The Native Americans, let's say the Navajos, right?
The Navajos are indigenous to this area, okay, and they were here before a lot of the Europeans
came in and took over, right?
So this area used to be their land, and then other people came in.
Okay, that's how it was with Canaan, because the Canaanites are there, then the Israelites
move in, right?
So once the Israelites move in, and it's mainly Jews that are living there by the time Jesus'
day, you'd say Simon the Canaanite, it'd be like if we're in Arizona and we said Simon
the Navajo, okay?
Let's say, you know, there's a guy in our church and we call him Simon the Navajo, and
somebody says, no, he was not Navajo.
That guy was as white as snow, and the only reason he was called Simon the Navajo is because
he was from, you know, Gallup, New Mexico, which is near the reservation, or he grew
up on the rez, but would you call him a Navajo?
Well no, it's just because he's native to Arizona, that's why he's called Simon the
Navajo.
What about all the white people that are native to Arizona?
That's not the point, it's all, you know, a lot of it's the Navajo Nation, whatever.
I mean, maybe that illustration helps you, I don't know if it does or not, just to see
how ridiculous it is when the whole land is called Canaan, to sit there and say that Canaanites
where he's from, when they're all from Canaan, no, he was a descendant of Canaan.
That is, to me, a powerful truth, and in fact, I love that story of Simon the Canaanite,
because it shows that even a guy who's coming from a cursed nation, a nation that historically
had been very wicked, historically had been ungodly, he could still be saved, and he could
still live for God, and not only that, out of all of Jesus' disciples, he could be chosen
to be one of the twelve.
Out of all the hundreds of people that are following Jesus, he handpicked twelve that
he called apostles.
Now of course he chose one that he knew was a traitor, Judas Iscariot, but the other eleven
that he chose were special men.
I mean, they weren't just, it's not just, well let's just pick twelve guys.
He picked the twelve men that would turn the world upside down, you know, he was picking
twelve men that were great men who were willing to drop everything and serve God.
Simon the Canaanite was a great man of God to even be in that group.
He will one day be ruling on this earth over one of the twelve tribes of Israel, ouch,
and he's a Canaanite, okay?
But God is not a respecter of persons, and I mean this is enough to give a pre-tribber
a heart attack, you know?
Because they have this Jew-worshipping mentality, God doesn't.
God said, think not to say within yourselves we have Abraham to our father, for I send
you that God has abled these stones to raise up children to Abraham.
And there's nothing abnormal about the fact that Simon the Canaanite will one day rule
over during the millennium one of the twelve tribes of Israel.
He will be the ruler.
So I mean, there you go.
That shows that even if your parents and your grandparents have been wicked and you come
from just a long line of sinful and wicked people, that does not give you the excuse
to be a sinful, wicked person.
You can be a Simon the Canaanite, you can overcome that, and you can do right and be
saved.
So we don't want you to, you know, I don't want you to get the wrong idea here that some
people are just doomed, you know, because of their parents and their grandparents.
We can overcome that.
But look, let's just be rational here, because a lot of people might think, well I don't
believe that.
But just stop and think about it.
If you grow up in a Christian home and your parents read the Bible to you every night,
you think you're probably going to have a better chance of being saved and living for
God than if you grow up in an atheistic home and your parents don't love you and they don't
care for you and your dad's a drunk and your mom's on drugs.
I mean, all of these things are going to affect you.
I mean, if your dad is a drunkard, that's going to affect you for the worse.
If your parents are committing adultery, that's going to affect you.
When your parents and grandparents don't go to church, that's going to probably lead
to you not going to church.
You know?
And I mean, just the statistics of the parent smokes, the child's going to smoke.
I mean, there's so many statistics like that that show you that the sins that the parents
commit are many times going to be passed on to the children.
And if you were born into a Christian home, you ought to thank God for that.
And the Bible says unto whom much is given, of him shall much be required.
And so we need to appreciate that, and if you didn't grow up in a Christian home, then
you need to serve God and do right in spite of that and overcome the sins and patterns
that might have been passed down to you from your parents and not just say, well, you know,
just everybody in my family, this is just who we are.
We just drink.
We just all commit adultery.
We just all get divorced.
We just all do drugs.
It's just how we are.
It's just something that's been in my family for years.
But you can change, and through the power of being born again and saved and having the
Holy Ghost living inside of you, you can do all things through Christ which strengthens
you.
So you should never hide behind that.
So there is a curse upon our children.
And you know what?
It makes me want to live for God because I don't want my children to be cursed.
I want the blessings of my life to continue to the third and fourth generation.
I want God to still be blessing my children and my grandchildren and my great-grandchildren
because of things that I've done, I would hate for them to grow up living under the
curse of sins that I've committed.
That should make us take our lives and our decisions very seriously when we think about
how our decisions affect our children.
And they do.
You're kidding yourself.
Well, it's my life.
Well, do you have kids?
Because every decision you make, every time you decide, I'm going to go to church, I'm
not going to go to church, every time you decide what you're going to do, what you're
not going to do, are you going to be a drunk, are you going to go to the bar, are you going
to look at filth on the television, it's all having an impact on your children.
All of it.
And that's a sobering thought.
So it says here in verse 5, it says, he that speaketh flattery to his friends, even the
eyes of his children shall fail.
Now let's talk about the particular sin here that he's referring to with flattery.
Go to Proverbs 20.
Job, then Psalms, then Proverbs.
Go to Proverbs 20.
Now flattery is something that you don't hear preached about a whole lot.
I remember Brother Dave, I don't know, six months ago, he preached a really good sermon
on flattery, and the thing that made it such an interesting sermon is that it's a subject
you don't hear about that much, but honestly, it's a subject that you do very well to take
heed to, because I can give you all kinds of real life examples where that sermon that
Brother Dave preached rung true, because of the fact that there are a lot of bad people
out there who will use flattery with you.
And on to the point now, just from my life experience, and then also from hearing that
sermon from Brother Dave Berzins, really, you know, just kind of put it all together
and really reinforced it, but on to the point now where this is something that I'm very
aware of and I really watch for this, and ever since about four or five years ago, I
really started being on the lookout for this, because you know, you get older and hopefully
you get wiser and you notice things and you see patterns and things, and this becomes
a red flag when people are flattering you.
You say, what does it mean to flatter?
Well first of all, I just want to point out, before I mention what flattering means, this
truth here in Proverbs 20 verse 19, it says, He that goeth about as a tale bearer revealth
secrets, therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.
Now, someone who flatters you is one that wants you to trust them, and the way that
they get you to put your guard down and the way that they kind of get in the door with
you is by giving you a lot of compliments, but usually the compliments are just a little
bit over the top, okay?
Now I think it's great to give people compliments.
You know, there's nothing wrong with complimenting someone and saying, hey, you've done a great
job, or hey, you're a really good friend, hey, you know, I really appreciated what
you did the other day, hey, that was a great sermon, or you know what, you're always so
good at greeting visitors, and you know, you really do a good job out of soul winning.
I really like your soul winning style.
There's nothing wrong with giving somebody a compliment.
Just give somebody a compliment like that.
But there are people who will go really extreme on compliments and they're constantly giving
you compliments, and they go too far, they go over the line with compliments, and what
they're doing is they're trying to con you, they're trying to deceive you, and here it's
interesting because it says, and there are really a lot of things that you could take
from this verse, but it says, he that goeth about as a tale bearer revealeth secrets,
therefore metal not within the fire of his lips.
What is warning you there is that someone might give you a lot of compliments or really
flatter you in order to get your confidence and to get your secrets so that they can reveal
those secrets to others, number one.
Or number two, one thing that I've noticed about some people that will flatter you, they'll
tell you to your face how wonderful you are, and then they will talk bad about you behind
your back as a tale bearer, and it's bizarre when you first find, you're like, what?
And the first time this happens to you, you'll be shocked, because you'll be like, what in
the world?
That person loves me.
That person's always telling me how great I am.
There's no way that person's talking bad about me behind my back.
And when it first happens, you're like, what in the world?
But you'll get to a point where you expect it, because you've seen the pattern over and
over again.
Now, right now, as I'm saying this, you might even be thinking, really?
Is this really true?
But honestly, it is true.
Oh, it happens a lot.
Go to Psalm 12.
Go to Psalm number 12, and I'll show you a little more scripture on flattery, because
really flattery is something that comes up quite a few times in Proverbs and Psalms and
a few other places.
The Bible says in Psalm 12, verse number 2, they speak vanity, everyone with his neighbor,
with flattering lips and with a double heart, do they speak.
And this kind of gives us an indication of what flattery is.
You kind of get a definition here.
The person has a double heart.
So they're giving you these really over-the-top, flattering compliments, but they don't really
mean it.
They have a double heart.
It's not coming from the heart.
They're just saying that to you.
They have an ulterior motive of just gaining your confidence and just getting you to trust
them.
He says they have a double heart, and he also says they speak vanity.
What does vanity mean?
Empty.
They're empty compliments.
They don't really mean it.
And then look at the next verse.
It says, the Lord shall cut off all flattering lips and the tongue that speaketh proud things.
So this is a major sin where God's going to punish people severely.
And you say, well why would he punish them for giving too many compliments?
Because it's not the compliments, it's what's in the heart, and it's how wicked these people
really are.
Now go to Proverbs chapter 2.
Proverbs chapter 2, and while you're turning there, and I'm going to show you a few examples
in Proverbs 2 and Proverbs 7 of the type of bad people that use flattery.
And then I'll give you some real life examples that I've experienced also.
But while you're turning there, listen to this.
Proverbs 29 verse 5 says this, a man that flattereth his neighbor spreadeth a net for
his feet.
Just remember that.
A man that flattereth his neighbor spreadeth a net for his feet.
So just take it to the bank.
When somebody's flattering you, they're laying a trap for you.
They're spreading a net for your feet.
So when you hear flattery, just think to yourself, okay, a trap is being laid for me right now.
It's true.
Now look at some examples, because you say, how in the world would flattery lead to that?
Or would bad people do this?
Check out Proverbs 2 16, and this is talking about what wisdom is going to do for you.
And what wisdom is going to do for you, according to verse 16, is it will deliver thee from
the strange woman, and strange doesn't mean she's weird.
It doesn't mean she has purple hair and a nose ring, you know.
It's just saying she's foreign to you, right?
Like a stranger, it's just someone that you don't know.
That's all it is.
It's just a woman that's not your wife, you don't know her, she's new to you.
It says, the stranger which flattereth with her words, okay, so this is something that
the strange woman's going to do.
She's going to flatter with her words, which forsaketh the guide of her youth, and forgetteth
the covenant of her God.
For her house inclineth unto death, and her paths unto the dead.
None that go unto her return again, neither take they hold of the paths of life.
Is this the kind of woman that you want to get mixed up with?
No one comes out alive, nobody's going to be unscathed.
She's wicked, she's ungodly, this woman that flatter with her lips.
Go to chapter 7, just a few pages to the right.
Same subject.
Verse 4 of chapter 7, say unto wisdom thou art my sister, and call understanding thy
kinswoman, that they may keep thee from the strange woman, from the stranger which flattereth
with her words.
For at the window of my house I looked through my casement, and behold among the simple ones
I discerned among the youths a young man void of understanding, passing through the street
near her corner, and he went the way to her house.
Now look, every woman has a house, but when you have a corner, that's bad, okay?
So her corner is kind of a weird statement there.
So that's red flag number one about this woman, that she has a corner.
And then it says, in the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night.
Now look, passing through the street near her corner, he went the way to her house.
How long does it take to get by her house?
Because he's there in the twilight, in the evening, and in the black and dark night.
So notice, he's hanging around.
You know, he's not just, he doesn't just briskly walk by, but he kind of goes by and he's just
kind of maybe curious, just kind of looking around.
He's hanging around this woman's house.
He's hanging around in this area.
Look what happens.
There, and behold there met him a woman with the attire of a harlot and settled apart.
Now what is the attire of a harlot?
The clothing that a harlot would wear.
Wouldn't you hate it, because God is the author of the Bible, the Holy Ghost moved, you know,
that these words would be written exactly as such.
What if God looked down from heaven at you and said, there's a woman in the attire of
a harlot.
Because it doesn't say she is a harlot, but she's wearing the attire of a harlot.
Ladies need to make sure they're not wearing the attire of a harlot.
Who's ever seen a harlot on the street, right?
Okay, what were they wearing?
A miniskirt.
I mean, look, nine times out of ten there weren't a miniskirt, true or false.
Or a really short party dress, same thing, right?
So look, is that how Christian women should dress, in a miniskirt, in a party dress?
No.
The Bible teaches that women should be clothed in modest apparel.
The Bible says they should have their thighs covered and so forth and not be wearing, you
know, a short type of a skirt or a short dress.
That's usually what you'll see.
You know, you usually see really high heels and a short skirt and all kinds of crazy makeup
and wild, you know, whatever.
But it seems like the miniskirt and the short dress are kind of a common denominator, okay?
So if I had to say what the attire of a harlot is, that would be my guess.
And that's why my daughters would never be allowed to ever walk out the house in a skirt
that is above the knee in length.
They need to wear some that at least covers their thighs.
So it says here, she is loud and stubborn.
So right away, that is not a description of a godly woman.
Bible says that a godly woman has a meek and quiet spirit, not loud and stubborn.
Her feet abide not in her house.
It's the opposite of, you know, keep her at home.
Now is she without, now in the streets, and lieth and wait at every corner.
You say, Pastor Anderson, how in the world could she be at every corner at the same time?
Because there's a different one at every corner.
That's what it's saying.
You know, she lieth and wait at every corner, meaning she's here, she's there, she's everywhere,
but you could also take a double meaning of saying, you know, girls like this are a dime
a dozen.
I mean, they're out there.
There are plenty of them out there.
And it says, so she caught him and kissed him, and with an impudent face said unto him,
I have peace offerings with me, this day have I paid my vows.
She sounds really religious, you know, she's religious, she just immediately catches him,
kisses him, and she says in verse 15, therefore came I forth to meet thee, diligently to seek
thy face, and I have found thee.
Now do you really think that that's true?
And here's what you have to understand about women that are very forward, you know, women
who are just immediately kiss you.
I mean, isn't that what it says?
She just meets him, catches him, kisses him.
You're not the first person that they're doing that to, and they did not diligently seek
you, they're just looking for the next victim, anybody, somebody.
You know, some girl that's just instantly kissing you, she's instantly hugging you,
she's instantly sitting on your lap, guess what?
That is what she does with every guy, and to think that she diligently sought you is
to fall for the flattery, because isn't that what she's kind of doing, like flattering
him?
I mean, wouldn't you be flattered that this woman just diligently sought you to find you?
You know, you're this single guy and she just sought you out to find you, but in reality
it's a lie.
Look what it says next.
I've decked my bed with coverings of tapestry, with carved works, with fine linen of Egypt.
I've perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.
Come let us take our fill of love until the morning.
Let us solace ourselves with love, for the good man is not at home.
He's gone a long journey, he's taken a bag of money with him, and will come home at the
day appointed.
With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she
forced him.
So how did she eventually talk this guy into just coming home with her immediately?
She just met him and he's just instantly being brought back home with her to go to bed with
her.
How?
With the flattering of her lips she forced him.
By telling him, oh you are so handsome, I've seen you walking here before and I was looking
for you, and oh what big strong arms you have, and oh what broad shoulders you have
Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome, and he's like, really?
You know, he's some dweeby guy, no I'm just kidding, but anyway, whatever the case is,
it goes to his head, and here's the thing.
If you're a person that's not used to receiving a lot of compliments, this can really throw
you for a loop, you see, because, whoa, wow, somebody's paying all this attention to me,
this is great, and be deceived.
Look what the end is in verse 22.
He goeth after her straight way, meaning immediately.
As an ox goeth to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of the stocks, till a dart
strike through his liver, as a bird hasteth to the snare, and knoweth not that it is for
his life, hearken unto me now therefore, O ye children, and attend to the words of
my mouth, let not thine heart decline to her ways, go not astray in her past, look he's
saying don't even go there in your heart, don't even think about it, don't even go the
way to her house, for she hath cast down many wounded, yea many strong men have been slain
by her, her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death, that's some
pretty serious language there, warning the young man to stay away from this woman, stay
away from her.
Now today I'm sure that this same scenario plays out every day somewhere in the world
this is happening, but not only that, now there's an electronic version of this that
goes on, because not only are there wicked ungodly women who are lying in wait at every
corner and out in the street to deceive young men, this happens online, where there will
be people online that will do this kind of seducing act and so forth.
For example, a guy that works for a relative of mine, works with a relative of mine, and
a relative of mine was a supervisor.
This guy was getting on and some kind of a chatting thing, or somehow he got online and
got hooked up with some woman online, not from real life, but just some woman online,
and is texting back and forth and emailing back and forth with this woman, and she's
telling him how handsome he is and whatever and going back and forth, and basically they're
sending pictures back and forth, well she convinced him to send her an indecent image.
She sent him an indecent image and convinced him to send an indecent image.
As soon as she had that image, she said, okay, I've hacked into your email, are you listening?
I've hacked into your email, and if you don't pay me x amount of dollars, that indecent
image that you sent, or a video or image, is going to go to everybody in your email
address book.
It's going to everybody in your email.
You know, and the guy, he didn't pay the money, he didn't have the money, it went to everybody.
His parents, his job, and he ended up being fired from his job, okay, because this video
is popping up, or picture or whatever it was, was popping up on everybody's email in the
whole company, you know, because it was all in his address book, and his parents and his
friends and his family, and I mean this guy is just humiliated and fired from his job.
You know, because he thought that he's going to get away with it, he's fooling around,
he went away to her house, and he thinks that she is just having this interaction with him,
when in reality it's just a whole scam where she's sending the same messages, the same
pictures out, to a whole bunch of different guys, and just on a daily basis extorting
money, because most people are probably going to pay the money.
And then when you pay the money, it's like, okay, now give us more money, because guess
what, that image is never going to go away.
Once it's been online, once it's been emailed, you could never retrieve it.
You know, have you ever gotten an email from somebody, and then they send you like a retraction?
Who's ever gotten one of those retraction emails?
You know what I'm talking about?
I want to recall that email, but you can't.
Once you send an email, you can't take that email out of their inbox.
You know, you can send your little retraction, but it's still there, and there's no way to
make that email.
Once you hit send, it's gone.
So that's an electronic version of the same thing.
You know, just the lying, deceiving, flattering, strange woman, and this guy was a simple man.
He was a man who was, I think, only about 20, 21 years old, so he's young, and he fell
for it.
I've actually talked to this guy before, so this isn't just some wild story, you know,
this is somebody that I've actually spoken to, and so this is a real story.
And it should be a warning to people, and by the way, people go on the internet to do
dating and chatting and everything like that, you know, you don't even know that who you're
talking to is really even female a lot of times.
You know, oh, but I saw the Facebook picture, I mean, it's a woman, you know?
That could be a 75-year-old man that wants to meet you at the mall tomorrow, or whatever,
you know, and that's why, you know, my children are never going to be allowed to do any kind
of internet dating whatsoever, I'm getting some applause over here from a two-year-old,
you know, three-year-old.
How old are you now?
Two and a half, sorry, sorry, I said two, two and a half.
But anyway, this is real, folks, I mean, there are people, now, how would this apply to us?
Because obviously, we as God's people, we that go to Faith Ward Baptist Church, you
know, I doubt anybody's going online trolling chat rooms or walking around, you know, seedy
parts of town.
That's not really the danger, but the Bible does teach that the adulterous will hunt for
the precious life.
Here's what could happen, here's a more, maybe, realistic scenario for a church-going, godly
man.
Okay, what about this?
Let's say there's a couple in the church that their marriage isn't that great, you know,
and let's say things aren't going that well in their marriage, and then all of a sudden,
some woman in the church is, you know, who's an infiltrator, because there are people who
infiltrate churches that are bad people, Judas Iscariot's evil people.
Even an infiltrator that would come in and all of a sudden start paying that man a lot
of compliments, and start telling him how great, and giving him all kinds of attention,
and maybe he's not getting a lot of attention from his wife, and she's never told him how
big his biceps are, you know, and that's because they're not, no, I'm just kidding, but anyway,
you know, his wife never told him that, but all of a sudden, you know, this other woman
is telling him how strong he is, and how, oh, you're so good at piano, or oh, you sing
so well, or oh, man, that sermon you preached with the preaching class was amazing, and
just giving all these compliments, you know, and that could start to go to your, you know,
you could get into sin, you could get a wrong relationship going there.
You know, it could happen.
It has happened before.
I'm not here, but it's happened.
I mean, it happens in other places, but let me say this.
You say, what is the difference between, you know, just giving somebody a compliment and
flattery?
Well, number one, I would say is this.
You know, flattery is not real.
When you find somebody, here are just some things to watch out for.
When somebody's giving you compliments about stuff that you know you don't have going on,
that's flattery, okay?
Now here's one of the reasons why I don't like this soul winning method.
One thing that I've been taught sometimes in soul winning was like always compliment
something.
Whenever you get to the door, the first thing you should do is find something to compliment.
And I've been soul winning people who do this, you know, and they walk up to a house and
sometimes they're at a loss.
I mean, the place is a disaster, it's ugly, it's trash, and they're just like, nice carpet,
you know.
You know, the management provided the carpet or whatever last week.
But they're, you know, just looking for something to compliment.
Now look, I sometimes will compliment something if it's real.
You know, like if I'm out soul winning and somebody just has something really cool in
their living room, I might say, wow, that is really neat.
Or if somebody has a Boston Terrier.
When I was growing up, we bred Boston Terriers for years and years.
So I know a lot about, I've read books about Boston Terriers.
We were really into this when we were younger, raising Boston Terriers and selling them.
So if somebody has a Boston Terrier, I'll say, wow, that is a really good looking dog,
and I might talk about the markings with them and talk about their Boston Terrier.
But I'm not just going to just, their mutt of a dog, and I'm just going to look at some
mutt and say, that is just a beautiful dog, that dog is amazing.
Why?
Because I don't want to be a flatterer.
And I don't want to come off as a flatterer.
And guess what, people can see through it too.
And you're just starting out as a fake.
If it comes natural, if compliments come natural, then just give a compliment.
Whether it's at church, whether it's at home, whether it's, you know, if you really feel
that way.
But when you're just saying it, just to try, you know, just to try to get the person on
your side.
I mean, basically it's teaching flattery as a soul winning method.
Yeah, just get the person's confidence by flattering them.
Yeah, that sounds biblical.
But that's kind of what they're saying.
Find something to compliment right away.
And you know, that's just an example.
If it's not real, you know, if you don't do any kind of working out, and you're being
told just how great you, you know, your muscles are, and you know that your muscles aren't
that big, you know, then just, that's flattery.
You know, or some people are telling you how great you look, and you know that you just
don't, no, I just don't look that good, okay.
You know, you just need to be able to understand what is a real compliment and what is fake.
And when people are just really going, so number one, when it's not real, it's flattery.
You can tell, like, I don't have it going on what they're saying I have going on, so
something's wrong with this picture.
Number two, just over the top.
Just extreme.
Now look, people flatter me, because obviously when you're a pastor and you're well known
and you have a lot of sermons out there, you know, there are a lot of people who will try
to flatter you.
So that's why I've had a lot of experience with this, just being in a prominent position
of being the pastor, you know.
People will do this, and they'll come to you and just, I mean, it's great to say, man,
I love your preaching.
You know, people have said to me, you know, I love your preaching.
You know, you're a great preacher, I love listening to you.
But some people will say, like, things like this, like, you know, you're not just a great
preacher.
I think that literally, you are probably the greatest Christian who's walking on the earth
today.
Like, I've had people tell me that.
Like, that is ridiculous.
I mean, that's just over the top ridiculous, and I'm thinking to myself, I know that's
not true.
And that's when it's just ridiculous, it's flattery.
You are probably literally the greatest Christian on the planet right now.
I'm thinking to myself, like, what in the world, but I've had people say that to me,
and right away, it's a red flag.
And I'm thinking to myself, I need to be careful about this person.
I need to watch out for this person, because that's just over, or, you know, you are like,
somebody that I've never even met, telling me that I'm like their dad, I mean, they love
me like their dad, and I've never even met them.
And I'm thinking, like, I didn't, you are not my son.
You know, call, you know, if we need to call Maury Povitz or whatever, but you know, you're
not my son, alright, you know, but honestly, people have given me these kind of over the
top compliments.
You're the greatest preacher who's ever lived, you're going to be one of the 24 elders in
Revelation chapter 4 that's around the throne, you know, I'm thinking to myself, like, this
is over the top, this is ridiculous, you know, sorry, my preaching's not that good, you know,
I'm not that great of a Christian.
So I mean, these type of just, so number one, when it's just a compliment about something
that you know you don't have going on at all.
Or number two, when it's a compliment that's just over the top, ridiculous.
You know, greatest on the whole earth, the whole planet, you know, you're just like,
whoa, relax.
Okay, and you know what, we've had people come to our church that literally, I mean,
we had these, I'm thinking of a particular family in particular, I mean, these people,
it was just ridiculous how much praise these people would give me.
It was like, they just worshipped me, and it made me uncomfortable, it made other people,
it was just weird, like, whoa, relax.
And our church is not like that, you know, our church does not have this cult-like, you
know, feel where everybody's just, oh pastor, you know, and I'm a pretty down to earth guy,
and people who come to our church obviously realize that I'm a very normal guy, I'm not
up on a pedestal, because some churches, the pastor is kind of up on a pedestal, and he's
kind of untouchable, kind of mysterious, you know, that's not really who I am, I'm a very
down to earth, just normal, what you see is what you get kind of a guy.
But I mean, these people just, it's like they worshipped me, and it was just ridiculous.
And then they turned out to be talking bad about me, talking bad about my wife, talking
bad about the church, and they turned out to be complete fakes, complete fronds.
And I was, and I, you know, back then I didn't know as much about flattery.
But I knew that they were just way overboard, and I was constantly trying to tone them down
on just, whoa, okay, great, I'm glad you guys like me, you know what I mean, but take it
easy there.
But I was surprised when it turned, you know, I couldn't believe it when I hear that they're
criticizing the church, these people would get somebody's phone number, first time visitor
would come to the church, they'd go up and be real friendly to them, get the phone number,
and then call them and tell them how bad our church was.
And I'd see all these first time visitors that are all excited, that like the church,
and then they're never coming back.
And then I started noticing, like, wait a minute, she's getting their phone number,
and they're never coming back.
And then I talked to one who did come back and said that they got a call from her saying
bad things about the church, and it's like, what in the world?
And these people are saying like, this is the greatest church in the world, it's so
great, it's amazing, you're the greatest pastor ever, we love you, and then it's just like
calling a first time visitor and telling them what's wrong with the church.
I mean, think about that now, that's pretty creepy, right?
But this is the flattering tongue, this is what you watch out for.
The same people, you know, after we kicked them out of the church, we found out this
is the type of stuff they were doing, and they were going around lying about people
and trying to split the church and turn people against each other, made a whole website dedicated
to the fact that my wife was a witch.
And they didn't mean like, they didn't mean that figuratively speaking, like, she's a
witch, like, you know, just a person who is a jerk, or, I mean, they meant like she's
casting spells.
Like that she was practicing sorcery and witchcraft and that she had used sorcery on me and everything
and that's why I couldn't see it, because I was deceived, and then even Amanda was part
of it.
This woman claimed that Amanda's eyes one time actually like bugged out of her head,
you know, because Amanda was so demon-possessed that her eyes popped out, like, you know,
like something out of a cartoon or something, and I'm like, what in the world?
And for the record, you know, I don't think that ever happened, Amanda, you know.
But they made a whole website about how my wife is a witch and she's demonic, and they
had all this evidence of this is the evidence, she is satanic, and you know, all this stuff.
So I'm just telling you, I've seen this before.
Even recently there, you know, I saw a case where somebody turned out to be a total fraud
and they were using a lot of flattery and it was just over-the-top compliments.
So you need to be careful of this in your life, especially if you're a married man and
a woman is all of a sudden giving you a lot of compliments, or you're a married woman
and a man is giving you all kinds of compliments.
You know, you need to be very careful that you don't get sucked into that and fall into
a trap that could lead into adultery or something of that kind, or even get you on that pathway
at all.
And as a pastor, you really got to be careful with this because obviously when you're the
pastor of a church, the devil wants to attack you.
And so he'll use flattery to try to get in and mess with your head, maybe even to just
build you up with pride.
Maybe the devil could even just send a lot of people.
You know, I get a lot of hate mail, I get a lot of people just criticizing me and telling
me I'm an idiot, but I also get a lot of people complimenting me, but the good thing is it
kind of balances out.
So I don't walk away thinking I'm that great.
It's like, you're trash, you're an idiot, you're stupid, you're a fool, and then it's
like, you're great, you're awesome, you're the best, you know, so I kind of read them
both and I'm like, okay, yeah, you know.
I kind of feel the same way afterward as before I check my email, you know.
But we need to be careful of this.
And you need to be careful that you're not guilty of this.
Now, again, nothing wrong with encouraging somebody.
You know, I don't want you to think, well, I'm never going to give anybody a compliment
again because they're going to think I'm this devil.
It's great to give people compliments when you mean it, when it's from the heart, and
as long as you're not being inappropriate with someone who's married or if you're married,
as long as you're not crossing that line of being inappropriate, and as long as you mean
it, as long as it's from the heart, saying, hey, buddy, you know, great job out soul winning.
Hey, I really like what you did there.
Hey, you know, great job at this.
But just be careful that you don't become a person who tries to gain favor from people
by just lavishing them with fake compliments.
That's the flattering tongue.
God hates it.
And God warns about it.
It's something that we need to be very careful of.
Now, I will say that, let me just give one exception to this.
Go back to Job, if you would.
Let me just give one exception to this, is that when it comes to your marriage, it's
okay to give over the top compliments to your spouse.
I don't think you should be like, well, I better be careful, I don't want to compliment
my wife too much.
I don't want to compliment my husband too much.
And honestly, if you read Song of Solomon, there's a lot of pretty serious complimenting
going on there.
But again, there's not a bad motive there.
I mean, if you're married to the person, what could possibly be the bad motive?
You know, I mean, if your wife is lavishing you with a lot of compliments, what is it
going to get her?
A good marriage?
You know, I mean, it's not going to sit there and cause adultery.
You're married.
It'll prevent adultery.
If you're a husband and you're giving a lot of compliments and praise to your wife, that's
just going to make her feel good.
That's just going to make the relationship better.
It should still be real, it should come from the heart.
And back when I preached on Song of Solomon, you know, I said that you should compliment
your wife, you should compliment your wife's appearance, because we see that a lot on Song
of Solomon.
But it should be real, okay?
Now look, everybody has aspects of their appearance that look better than others, right?
And I guarantee you that your wife has aspects of her beauty that you really like, right?
And that's what you're going to compliment.
Now there might be aspects of your wife's appearance that are not that great, or aspects
of your husband's appearance that aren't that great.
You know, don't pick that to compliment.
And just lie about it.
Don't do that.
You know, compliment the things that you do like.
You know, if your husband just had this huge beer belly, you know what, I just love, you
know, the way your belly is so big around, it reminds me of Buddha.
And I've just always wanted to grow up and marry a guy that had a huge belly just like
yours.
You know, instead, you could find something else to compliment about your husband, right?
Not like, you know, complimenting something that maybe is a little bit off balance, you
know.
I heard one guy with a big belly, he said, well I'm balanced because the bubble's in
the middle.
You know, it's like a water level, you know, where when things are imbalanced, the bubble's
in the middle.
But, you know, you could find other things to compliment, you know, his face or, you
know, whatever, his arms, you know, he's a big strong man, you know, whatever.
But make it real and say something that's real.
But you know, having a lot of compliments in your marriage is important because, guess
what, some people, that's not that important to them, but some people are the type that
need that affirmation.
You know, they kind of need somebody to tell them every once in a while that they're doing
a good job or, you know, wives obviously appreciate it if someone tells them that they cooked
a good meal or husbands sometimes want to be thanked for the hard work that they put
in on the job.
You know, and those things can help keep a strong relationship so that a person won't
go seeking that affirmation somewhere else.
And I've talked to people who are getting divorced, because keep in mind, as a pastor,
people contact me all the time.
And I hear this all, you know, people are constantly emailing me and calling me and
it really, it's sad, the condition that people's marriage is in, but a lot of people will contact
me, my wife's leaving me, my wife's divorcing me, you know, or my husband's divorcing me,
you know, and I hear about these stories all the time.
And literally, I've heard a man say, who's divorcing his wife, okay, and I've heard this
from multiple people, you know, she just, she never praises me.
She never compliments me.
She never says anything, you know, she never praises me or compliments me or says anything
good.
Now, that, if you're divorcing your wife because of that, I mean, that's wicked.
Obviously, that's ridiculous, you big baby.
You just need somebody to pat you on the back all the time.
But at the same time, though, that just shows you that to a lot of men, that's pretty important.
And obviously, everybody likes to be appreciated from time to time.
And so, you know, that's the exception to the flattery rule, when you're married.
But when it's coming from a strange woman, when it's coming from people that you don't
know very well, or when it's coming from a church member that's just way too sycophantic,
okay, you know what sycophantic means?
When people are just obsessed with their idols, like for example, you know, they just want
to go backstage to be with the rock star and they lay in their bed at night and they have
a poster on the ceiling so that they can fall asleep, you know, looking at Justin Bieber
or whatever, you know, Britney Spears or whatever, you know, just their idol.
When people start doing that with a pastor, and when people start doing that with, you
know, whoever else, I mean, it becomes idolatry, it becomes sycophancy, it becomes flattery,
it's something that we need to stay away from.
It's great to have heroes, it's great to have role models, it's great to look up to people,
but you know what, there's a time when you cross the line, isn't there?
And that's what we need to be careful of with flattery.
That's the main thing I wanted to preach about tonight, because honestly, in Job 17, a lot
of it is themes that we've already covered when we covered other chapters, but let me
just quickly blow through these last few verses here.
He says in verse 6,
He hath made me also a byword of the people in the fourth time I was as a tabret.
Mine eye also is dimmed by reason of sorrow, and all my members are as a shadow.
Upright men shall be astonished at this.
That means astonished or surprised at this or just blown away by it.
He says, the innocent shall stir up himself against the hypocrite.
The righteous also shall hold on his way, and look at verse 9, and he that hath clean
hands shall be stronger and stronger.
I like that statement there, about getting stronger and stronger, because I know that
a constant theme that I've had in my life is just always trying to be growing, always
trying to do more.
You know, we're never going to reach the destination, and we're never going to be a perfect person,
we're never going to be the greatest Christian on the planet, no matter what people might
tell you that you are, you're not there, I'm not there, but I just remember as a teenager
I decided I just want to be a better Christian this year than I was last year, and that's
kind of a good goal of just kind of getting stronger and stronger.
You're never going to be perfect, but are you better than you were last year, because
if not, then you're backslidden, you're moving backwards, we want to make sure that we keep
moving forward.
Clean hands, drawing nigh to God with a pure heart, and getting stronger and stronger ought
to be the story of our life.
But as for you all, do ye return and come now, for I cannot find one wise man among
you.
My days are past, my purposes are broken off, even the thoughts of my heart, I mean pretty
much the rest of the chapter he's just talking about how he wants to die, and he wishes he
was dead.
He says, they changed the night into day, the light is short because of darkness, if
I wait the grave is my house, I've made my bed in the darkness, I've said to corruption
thou art my father, to the worm thou art my mother and my sister.
I mean he's just very dismal, very morbid, this is how most of the chapters in the book
of Job read, when Job is just talking about how he wants to die, he wishes he was dead.
He's so sad, he's so upset, he's so depressed that he wishes that he were dead.
His children are dead, his wife has turned on him, he's in horrible physical pain, burning,
this shows that even a great man of God could get to that point, and could be that depressed.
And so we need to understand that when we go through sorrows and things, they're probably
never going to be of the magnitude of what Job went through.
We just need to understand that this is just part of life, there are going to be sorrows
and hard times, hopefully not to this extreme.
But Job went through an extreme trial here, I mean he's doing bad, I mean listen to him.
And where is now my hope?
As for my hope, who shall see it?
They shall go down to the bars of the pit, where our rest together is in the dust.
I think the they there at the beginning of verse 16 is referring back to corruption and
the worm from back in verse number 14, that they will go down to the bars of the pit.
When our rest together is in the dust, meaning that his body will rest with corruption and
worms.
Because corruption is a word that's associated in the Bible with the grave.
David, the Bible says, went to the grave and saw corruption, according to Acts chapter
2.
The worms would destroy Job's body, but if you remember of Jesus Christ, it says his
soul was not left in hell, neither did his flesh see corruption.
It was three days and three nights, and he physically bodily rose again from the dead.
So from this chapter we see of course just the sorrow of Job, he wants to die, he wishes
he were dead, his friends are making it even worse.
But the thing that we kind of focused in on tonight was just that curse placed upon people
and their children, who are flattering type people, con men, wicked people who would use
flattery to gain people's confidence in order to get something from them.
Or how about this, walking up to someone and complimenting them and you're just there to
ask them for money, but you give them a lying compliment.
That's happened, I mean, you know, when you're at the gas station, somebody comes up to you
and, oh man, you know, you look great in that suit, that's amazing, listen man, and then
the story begins about their trip from Casa Grande and they're trying to get to Surprise
and if they just had another.
And it's funny, I've seen some of these people, they have a talent, they can name exactly
the amount on your wallet.
Yes!
I remember when I was in South Chicago, it was like, hey man, can I have four dollars?
It's like, I have exactly four dollars in my wallet, how did you know that?
If you only have three, it's like, hey man, can I have three bucks, hey do you have six
bucks?
It's like, what in the world?
I know.
I've been doing this a long time, buddy, I know.
But anyway, we need to watch out for flattery.
Let's not be that guy and let's watch out for the flattery and not just be like, thank
you, you know, when we get the compliments that are over the top.
Let's bow your heads and have a word of prayer.
Father, we thank you so much for your word, just thank you for warning us because I know
this is something that could be pretty easy for people to be deceived by because it just
doesn't make any sense why people would give us all these great compliments if they really
hate us and want to destroy us.
But Lord, thank you for the warnings, help us to heed these warnings and stay away from
the strange woman and to be very suspicious of people who give extreme, over-the-top,
flattering compliments to us.
Lord, we love you, help us to be humble people and to serve you with all our heart, and in
Jesus' name we pray, amen.