But I think there's a really dangerous philosophy today in the United States of America in 2015
in our culture, and I think part of it has to do with the internet.
This idea where people, they have these really idealized views about what marriage is going
to be like or what their wife is going to be like or what their husband is going to
be like, to where they always think that something better is out there.
This idea of, "Hey, I married the wrong person and there's somebody better out there that
I missed out on," you know, instead of just being content with the spouse that they have.
And I think part of this is also due to Hollywood where Hollywood puts forth these really unrealistic
love stories.
See, what people don't understand is that everything on TV is fake.
Everything in Hollywood is fake.
And so they see these really idealized love stories where they find their soulmate, right?
The soulmate and oh, just that one person in the world and you find that person and
you ride off into the sunset and you live happily ever after and everything's perfect
and you're excited about that person every moment.
But that's not real life.
That's a fraud just like everything in Hollywood is a fraud.
You know those actors on the movie screen that are falling in love and everything's
so wonderful?
Those are some of the most horrible people in the world in real life.
They are some of the worst degenerates in real life.
They're all failing at marriage.
They're all committing adultery.
I mean, they're all fornicating.
Many of them are not even straight, you know, and you look at these people and think like,
oh man, why isn't my husband more like, you know, this guy in this movie or whatever who's
just this bad dude, but he's so sensitive and he's so good looking and he looks like,
you know, the guy looks like he goes to the gym every single day for an hour, but he also
makes tons of money, but he also just spends tons of time with her.
You know, it's just like, it's just this ideal that doesn't exist.
Right?
And then the same thing, and then men are watching TV, watching Hollywood, and it's
all these women that are just these, you know, these beautiful, gorgeous babes and they're
just so cool and just, you know, they never start crying for no reason and, you know,
just being...
I mean, it's just, it's unrealist, I mean, just the way that they look is unrealistic,
the way that they act is unrealistic, just everything about it is fake!
It's not real, people, wake up!
Like look around the room, this is what real people look like, okay?
This is what real people act like.
Hollywood is fake, TV is fake, but people literally, they see wives and they think like,
"Oh, why isn't my wife like that?
Why isn't my husband like that?"
Because there's no such thing.
Okay, it's not real.
Now look, I'm not trying to paint a gloomy picture because you know what?
There are a lot of great men out there and great ladies out there, but you know what?
They're not going to be this perfect unicorn that you're looking for.
And what you need to do is just pick one that you like, right?
Okay?
Pick one that you like and you pick a person that you like and you marry that person and
you decide you're going to spend the rest of your life with that person and you get
to know that person.
And you know what?
You go through the ups and downs.
It's for better or for worse.
You go through low points.
You hang in there and you realize that there's other things in life than just your marriage,
you know, that you don't just have to freak out every time things aren't perfect.
And then it gets better again and then you have great times together.
And then it's like...
No, I'm just kidding, but anyway, you know, you have a lot of good times, you have a lot
of bad times, but you know what?
It's about the commitment, it's about sticking together, it's about love and compassion that's
enduring real love, not just this excitement and passion of, "Hey, we just hooked up two
weeks ago," or something.
No, it's something that lasts for decades.
It's real, and honestly, those who've been married for a long time and have stayed with
the Ark of the Covenant and not sent it off to the Gittites, you know, those who actually
stay with marriage, they realize that there are wonderful times in marriage that get better
and better, and the relationship deepens, and the love is better.
And also, you will have those mountaintop experiences where it's great, it's like being
a newlywed, you know, all over again, if you hang in there, but you know what, it's not
going to be like that all the time, and it never will for anybody, because that's not
reality, because reality has its ups and downs.
And you know what, you're the same way, because sometimes you're a pain in the neck, sometimes
she's a pain in the neck, but so are you, right?
And there's no temptation taking you but such as is common to man.
It was so funny, we went, this is a silly illustration, but my wife and I went out to
get a milkshake and an ice cream cone at this little organic ice cream stand in Scottsdale,
and we were there.
I walked up to the place, I found a little card for the place, I said, "Honey, I'm going
to take you to this place.
Let's check this out."
So I walk up, I pick up the menu, chocolate and peanut butter milkshake.
That's how I order.
You know, it took me like five seconds, just pick it up, and I see something I like, and
I order it.
Done.
My wife walks up, reads everything on the menu, and then starts asking questions about
me.
"What about that?
You know, what's it?
Now, what's it?"
Asks all these questions, goes on.
By the time she was done ordering, they're already serving me mine.
They already put mine in my hand.
They'd already scooped out all the peanut butter, mixed it all up, and blended it, and
given it to me.
She's still deciding.
She's still asking questions about the meat.
And then it's like, "Oh, I changed my mind."
After she's made the order, get something different.
Okay.
So then we sit down at the little table there, and I'm drinking my milkshake.
She's eating her whatever she decided on.
And then another family walks up right behind us.
The guy walks up, orders, and then the woman walks up, "Okay, what's this?
You know what?"
And I told my wife, I said, "Look, these people were doing exactly what we did two minutes
ago.
And look, there's no temptation taking you but such is common to man.
Everybody's going through the same things, you know?"
And obviously that's kind of a silly illustration, but I'm just showing you that there is basic
human nature in all of us and that men all kind of are the same in certain ways and women
are all kind of the same in certain ways and they're different, right?
There's a difference between men and women.
So you can't expect your wife to be like a man and you can't expect your husband to be
like a woman.
You know, we're different and we're always going to be different and if you just go trade
in for someone else, get divorced, remarried, you know what you're going to find?
The next guy doesn't fix stuff around the house either.
You know?
The next guy stays real late at work too.
You know, the next guy doesn't ask his boss for a raise enough either or whatever.
The next guy doesn't do this, that and you'll find that the next wife also breaks down crying
for no reason.
And the next wife, you know, also will nag you or the next wife will also tell you you're
spending too much money or whatever.
You know, I'm just throwing things out there that are the typical things that people complain
about.
It's different for everybody.
I'm not saying everybody's spouse does these things, but everybody's spouse does these
type of things, okay?
And this idea that there's this wonderful unicorn perfect person out there is a dangerous
doctrine because then when it doesn't pan out, people have this attitude, "I married
the wrong person.
I made a mistake," instead of realizing, "You know what?
I love this person in spite of their faults, in spite of their flaws.
You know what?
I love them anyway."
That's what real love is.
You know, the Bible says, "Scarcely for a righteous man would one die, yet paraventure
for a good man some would even dare to die, but God commanded His love toward us in that
while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
You know, so Christ died for the ungodly.
And so we as husbands need to understand that, you know, it's our job to love our wife and
not be bitter against her and love her in spite of whatever flaws that she has.
And to realize that everyone else has flaws too.
And that this person that you're seeing on the internet, and where I would bring in the
internet to this, is that on the internet you're basically seeing all these other options
in a sense.
All these, you know, you go on Facebook, there's all these other women out there.
And you know what?
their best foot forward on Facebook.