Now we're going to come back to Ezekiel 23 and the part of the chapter that I want to
focus on, really the whole chapter is about one thing.
It's about basically these two women and all of their fornication and all of their lewdness
and all of their whorish behavior.
And he's using these two women, of course, as a parable to represent Jerusalem and basically
he's just showing how the sins that they've committed are likened unto a young woman who's
going out and being a whore basically.
Now before we get into this, because the part that I want to focus on was the concept that
we see in the chapter about these whorish women being alienated from their lovers.
Now go back to Judges 19 and I don't really want to spend time on this story from Judges
19 because we already covered a little bit of it in Judges chapter 20, but I want to
show you one interesting thing about this story in Judges 19.
First of all, let me just explain to you what the word concubine means.
The word concubine is used throughout the Bible and a concubine is not a wife, but a
concubine is a man whom he treats as a wife in the sense that she lives with him and in
the sense that he goes to bed with her, but that is not someone that he's married to.
So in today's world, I would say concubines are pretty common in the United States of
America, aren't they?
Basically this would be what somebody calls their live-in girlfriend or their common law
or whatever you want to call it, but it's not a legitimate biblical relationship.
You know, the Bible says that a man should leave his father and mother and cleave unto
his wife and they too shall be one flesh and any kind of a relationship between a man and
a woman, a physical, conjugal relationship that takes place before marriage is what the
Bible calls fornication and it's a very serious sin and a woman who is basically with a man
in that way but he's not married to her, that is known as his concubine, okay?
That's what that word means throughout the Bible.
Now that is not a very popular word today, it's probably not a word that you hear used.
You probably don't say, oh, hi, so and so, how are you doing?
Is this your concubine with you?
And if you said that, you know, people would probably get very angry if you referred to
their girlfriend as their concubine because it's kind of a derogatory sounding word, but
let me tell you something, it's a pretty degrading position to be in, ladies, to be that guy's
concubine and let me show you how the man in Judges 19 felt about his concubine, okay?
Because in Judges 19, these people are in a very bad situation where the house is surrounded
by evil men, sons of Belial, these perverts are surrounding the house and want to assault
the men and it says in verse 25, in the midst of this battle here, it says, but the man
would not hearken to him.
So the man took his concubine and brought her forth unto them and they knew her and
abused her all the night until the morning and when the day began to spring, they let
her go.
Then came the woman in the dawning of the day and fell down at the door of the man's
house where her Lord was till it was light and her Lord rose up in the morning and opened
the doors of the house and went out to go his way and behold, the woman, his concubine
was fallen down at the door of the house and her hands were upon the threshold and
he set her up and let us be going but none answered.
Then the man took her up upon an ass and the man rose up and got him unto his place and
when he was coming to his house, he took a knife and laid hold on his concubine and divided
her together with her bones into 12 pieces and sent her into all the coasts of Israel
and it was so that all that saw it said there was no such deed done nor seen from the day
that the children of Israel came up out of the land of Egypt unto this day, consider
of it, take advice and speak your minds.
Let me ask you something, did this man love his concubine?
No.
I mean, he's being attacked, the house is surrounded by wicked men that are trying to
abuse him and trying to abuse the owner of the house and in order to placate this angry
mob of Sodomite perverts, what do they do?
He takes his concubine and throws her under the bus.
I mean, he sends his concubine out to the wolves and basically sacrifices her life in
order to save his own.
That's not love.
The Bible says greater love hath no man than this than that a man lay down his life for
his friends.
This is the opposite, he's laying down her life to save himself and notice he's treating
this woman as if she's his wife because notice that over and over again it calls him her
Lord.
Do you notice that?
It says when her Lord was coming, and of course the Bible says that Sarah obeyed Abraham,
calling him Lord.
You know, obviously the husband is the head of the home, the husband's in authority, right?
This guy wanted to have that type of a relationship where he's the boss, where he's the head of
the household, but he's with a woman that he's not married to, therefore it's not a wife,
it's a concubine and what we see here is a man who doesn't love her.
Because let me explain something to you.
The man who will commit fornication with a woman, that's not love.
You know, a man who really loves you, ladies, will marry you.
He's not just going to use you as his concubine temporarily.
Because what is the difference between a concubine and a wife?
The only difference, because I mean it could look the same on the outside.
She's his Lord, or I'm sorry, she's his Lord, good night, that's the way a lot of marriages
are in 2013 by the way.
But look, he's her Lord, he's paying her bills, he's providing for her, they live together,
they might have a lot of the relationship that a husband and wife would have.
There's one colossal difference between a husband and wife, and a man and his concubine,
and the difference there is that a man and his wife have sworn an oath that says till
death do us part.
That is the difference.
And here's the difference in God's eyes, one's right and one's wrong.
And you might say, well what's the difference?
We don't need to get married, we don't need a piece of paper, you know we don't need that
approval of man.
But you know what, you can sit there and say, well you know we know we're committed, okay
then make a vow right now before God and man that says till death do us part.
And so the difference between a concubine and a wife is the commitment there, the vow
that says this is for life, this is not temporary.
But let me tell you something, there are many men out there who will temporarily use a woman
as their concubine, but does that mean that they are willing to spend the rest of their
life with that person?
Does that mean that they're willing to lay down their life for that person?
Does that mean that they really even love that person?
And the answer is no.
Look what the Bible teaches here.
Now go to 2 Samuel chapter number 13.
So the first thing I wanted to show you about that story in Judges 19 was the fact that
this man had a concubine that was basically like a wife in the sense that he's going to
bed with her and in the sense that, you know, she lives with him.
But we see that the man did not love his concubine.
Look at 2 Samuel 13, here's another example of fornication in the Bible and the fact that
love is not present.
And I'm going to prove to you tonight from several scriptures, and I'm just starting
out with this as a foundation, that you know a fornicating relationship is not a loving
relationship.
You know people say, well we're in love.
No you're not in love, and I'm going to prove to you from the Bible.
And if you walk out of here tonight thinking that you and your fornicating boyfriend or
fornicating girlfriend are in love, you know, you basically just say I don't believe the
Bible.
Because I'm going to show you that that is not love.
That is not what the Bible defines as love, okay?
Look at 2 Samuel chapter 13 and look at the Bible says in verse 1, and it came to pass
after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister whose name was Tamar, and
Amnon the son of David loved her, right?
We see that?
It says, and Amnon was so vexed that he fell sick for his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin,
and Amnon thought it hard for him to do anything to her.
Now look, here's a man Amnon who loves a woman named Tamar, right?
And because he loves this woman, what does he think about her virginity?
He found it hard to do anything to her.
He said, you know what, I want to respect that, I want to preserve that.
Isn't that what it says?
He loved her and he, you know, respected that and didn't want to violate that.
It says in verse 3, but Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab, and you know, this
shows you how bad the wrong friends can influence your life.
It says he had a friend whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimea, David's brother, and Jonadab
was a very subtle man, and he said unto him, why art thou, being the king's son, lean from
day to day?
Wilt thou not tell me?
And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister.
And Jonadab said unto him, lay thee down on thy bed and make thyself sick, and when thy
father cometh to see thee, say unto him, I pray thee, let my sister Tamar come and give
me meat, and dress the meat in my sight, that I may see it and eat it at her hand.
So Amnon laid down and made himself sick, and you know, he's following the advice of
his wicked evil friend who talked him into this plan.
He said he made himself sick and when the king was come to see him, Amnon said unto
the king, I pray thee, let Tamar my sister come and make me a couple of cakes in my sight
that I may eat at her hand.
Then David sent home to Tamar saying, go now to thy brother Amnon's house and dress him
meat.
So Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house and he was laid down and she took flour and
kneaded it and made cakes in his sight and did bake the cakes.
You know, if you're at the bread making class, you know, yesterday you know exactly how this
goes and all the kneading and all the microbes and all that.
And it says, and she took a pan and poured them out before him, but he refused to eat.
And Amnon said, have out all men from me.
So it wasn't really that he wanted the food, he concocted, or his friend concocted this
evil plan of him pretending to be sick and wanting Tamar to come and make the food in
his presence.
You know, he's the type of guy where he doesn't just want you to bring him the food, he wants
you to make it in his presence, okay?
You know, we don't make it till you order it type of a thing.
So basically, he wanted the food prepared in his presence and then when the food's ready,
she expects him to eat the food and he says, no, no, I don't want to eat the food.
And he says, I want everybody, send everybody away.
And it says, when she had brought them unto him to eat, verse 11, he took hold of her
and said unto her, come lie with me, my sister.
And she answered him, nay, my brother, do not force me, for no such thing ought to be
done in Israel.
Do not thou this folly, and I, whither shall I cause my shame to go?
And as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel.
Now therefore I pray thee, speak unto the king, for he will not withhold me from thee.
So basically what she's saying is, look, you know, if we do this, where's my shame going
to go?
I don't want to basically lose my virginity here.
I don't want to be walking around with the shame of having been defiled here and you're
going to be looked at as a fool, you're going to be looked at as an idiot.
People are going to find out about the fact that you forced me to do this.
And she says, let's go about this legitimately.
This is what she's saying and I'm not saying it would have been legitimate because it was
his half-sister and the Bible commands us not to marry our half-sister, oh thou from
Kentucky or whatever, no, I'm just kidding, but anyway, you know, he wasn't supposed to
marry his half-sister in the first place, but what she's saying to him is, hey, let's
just talk to your dad and let's just do this legitimately.
You can't just sit here and force me to go to bed with you when we're not married.
That isn't right, we're not married.
And she's saying, you know, I'm willing to do this if you'll marry me, but that's it,
right?
So it wasn't that she had anything against him personally, but it was just that she's
saying, look, we're not married, don't force me, talk to your dad, he won't withhold me
from thee.
How be it, verse 14, he would not hearken unto her voice, but being stronger than she,
forced her and lay with her.
Now look at verse 15, here's the key, here's the key phrase, then Amnon hated her exceedingly.
Now have you ever read this story and been kind of taken aback by that?
I mean he's just so in love with her and he's just, you know, he's sick to his stomach and
he's losing weight and he can't eat right because he's just so in love with Tamar.
And then as soon as he finally gets his hands on Tamar, it says Amnon hated her exceedingly,
watch this, so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith
he had loved her.
So was there love there in the beginning?
Did Amnon feel love initially?
Well I believe so because at the beginning of the story, the narrator of the Bible who
is infallible, the Holy Spirit, said Amnon loved his sister Tamar.
And then when it talks about the degree of hatred that he had for Tamar, it compares
it unto his love.
So he did have love and he had a great deal of love because it's used as the measuring
stick of the hatred that he subsequently had for her.
And so it said here, Amnon hated her exceedingly so that the hatred wherewith he hated her
was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her.
And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone.
So basically he just wants her out of his sight.
And she said unto him, there is no cause.
This evil in sending me away is greater than the other that thou didst unto me.
But he would not hearken unto her.
You see she said, look, it's even worse now that you've already basically defiled me and
deflowered me.
You know, now you're going to send me away?
You know, now you just want to discard me?
That's even worse than the fact that you just forced me to do this is the fact that
now you'd want to kick me out.
And watch, it says he would not hearken unto her.
Then he called his servant that ministered unto him and said, put now this woman, that's
a real loving way to put it, right?
Put now this woman out from me and bolt the door after her.
And she had a garment of divers colors upon her for with such robes were the king's daughters
that were virgins' apparel.
Then his servant brought her out and bolted the door after her and Tamar put ashes on
her head and rent her garment of divers colors that was on her and laid her hand on her
head and went on crying.
And let me tell you, this story, I think out of the entire Bible, this story makes me more
angry than any story in the entire Bible.
I'm not kidding.
And you know, you hear a lot of preaching about Absalom and you hear a lot of preaching
about how bad Absalom was, but you know what, honestly, I sympathize a lot with Absalom
when I read this story because I feel exactly like Absalom felt and I feel like in the next
few scriptures here, I think Absalom was right for a while.
You know, obviously he went off the deep end.
Obviously he took revenge that he shouldn't have took on more people than he should have
taken it on.
And obviously he became rebellious.
He grew out his hair long and rebelled against his father and rebelled against God's laws
and everything else.
And he became a very wicked person.
But you know what?
I'm telling you something, this story makes me enraged every time I read it in the Bible.
It makes me infuriated.
Just the way that he just destroys her life.
And it explains how for the rest of her life she's just desolate.
Like she doesn't ever get married.
I mean, she's just crushed.
And for the rest of her life she lives with her brother Absalom just crushed.
Just a nice young girl, whole future ahead of her, and this guy just destroys her life
for this momentary pleasure and then just hates her and kicks her out.
I mean, it's a very depressing story.
And it's actually an angering story, which is why I can sympathize with Absalom's anger
in the following chapters.
But what do we see here?
We see a man who had feelings of love, but you know what?
When it got to the level of fornication, wasn't the love immediately gone?
Did you notice how the love departed from that relationship right away as soon as fornication
became involved?
All of a sudden the love turned to hatred.
You know, we look at the man with his concubine, an unloving attitude toward his concubine,
throwing her under the bus.
Then we see here in 2 Samuel 13, a man who, I believe what the Bible is saying, loved
this woman, but then as soon as he commits fornication with her, the love is gone.
The love is changed into hatred.
Look at Ezekiel where we started out the sermon, Ezekiel 23.
And we see a very unpleasant picture of fornication here in Ezekiel chapter 23.
Now let me say this, this whole sermon tonight is not about fornication.
I'm just kind of starting out with the subject of fornication as a springboard here just
to show you what love is and what love is not according to the Bible.
And what I'm trying to show you here is the unloving nature of fornication because of
course people might even call it making love or a loving relationship or a loving... hey,
it's okay to go to bed as long as you're in a loving, committed relationship.
Yeah, if it's called marriage, but if it's not marriage, it's neither loving nor committed
according to the Bible.
Now look what the Bible says in Ezekiel 23.
It says, verse 12, she doted upon the Assyrians, her neighbors, captains and rulers, clothed
most gorgeously, horsemen riding upon horses, all of them desirable young men.
Then I saw that she was defiled, that they took both one way, and that she increased
her whoredoms, for when she saw men portrayed upon the wall, the images of the Chaldeans
portrayed with vermilion, girded with girdles upon their loins, exceeding in dyed attire
upon their heads, all of them princes to look at after the manner of the Babylonians of
Chaldea, the land of their nativity.
So it's talking about a young, foolish woman who is looking at these heathen men, these
wicked men and their fancy clothes.
And they're good looking young guys in their nice clothes.
And it says as soon as she saw them, verse 16, with their eyes, she doted upon them and
sent messengers unto them into Chaldea.
And the Babylonians came to her into the bed of love, right?
And they defiled her with their whoredom, and she was polluted with them, but look at
the next phrase, and her mind was alienated from them.
So notice, this woman is feeling love and attraction toward these men, but as soon as
she went to bed with this man, what does she feel?
Her mind becomes alienated from him.
Do you see that?
It says in verse 22, therefore, O Ahalabah, thus saith the Lord God, behold I will raise
up thy lovers against thee, from whom thy mind is alienated, and I will bring them against
thee on every side.
And what we see here is that these alienated lovers become her worst enemies, that actually
attack her and destroy her and harm her.
Look at verse 28, or let's just keep reading.
Verse 23, the Babylonians and the Chaldeans, Peacod and Shoah and Coah, and all the Assyrians
with them, all of them desirable young men, captains and rulers, great lords and renowned,
all of them riding upon horses, and they shall come against thee with chariots, wagons, and
wheels, and with an assembly of people, which shall set against thee buckler and shield
and helmet round about, and I will set judgment before them, and they shall judge thee according
to their judgments, and I will set my jealousy against thee, and they shall deal furiously
with thee, and shall take away thy nose and thine ears, and thy remnants shall fall by
the sword, they shall take thy sons and thy daughters and thy residues shall be devoured
by the fire.
They shall also strip thee out of thy clothes and take away thy fair jewels, thus will I
take thy lewdness to cease from thee.
And thy whoredom brought from the land..."
Man, we need to get back used to Bible words.
Lude-ness.
Oh, well, promiscuous.
Lude.
Oh, a little bit loose.
A whore.
Oh, you know, well, you know, no, get back to some Biblical terms here.
Fornication is what it's called.
Concubine is what she's called.
It says here, "...and thy whoredom brought thee from the land of Egypt, so that thou
shalt not lift up thine eyes unto them, nor remember Egypt anymore.
For thus saith the Lord God, Behold, I will deliver thee into the hand of them whom thou
hatest, and into the hand of them from whom thy might is alienated."
Remember, aren't these the same people that she went into the bed of love with?
Now all of a sudden, she hates them, and they hate her.
Do you see that?
"...and they shall deal with thee hatefully, and shall take away all thy labor, and shall
leave thee naked and bare, and the nakedness of thy whoredoms, shall be discovered both
thy lewdness and thy whoredoms."
You know, I wish young people would listen to what I'm reading right now from the Scripture
and what the Bible is teaching, because it's not what Hollywood is going to show you.
It's not what public school is going to teach you.
It's not what television and the music and all of the glam of the world is going to teach
you about the effects of fornication.
They're going to teach you it's all loving, and it's committed, and it's a wonderful thing
that's going to bring you closer together.
And oh, this is something that you need to do before you get married, because you need
to even make sure that you're even compatible, and you just need to live together for a while
before you get married.
Now that's a wicked sin.
You need to be pure when you get married, and you need to keep yourself pure until then.
Now go to the New Testament, if you would, and preach the Old Testament.
Of course I preach the Old Testament because it's the Bible, it's all God's Word.
And you say, well good night, Ezekiel 23, that's a little outdated.
Well for some people, I still use those words.
I still believe that doctrine.
I still believe that story about Amnon and basically the fact that when someone is committing
for it.
Actually, you know, before we get into the New Testament, let's go back to the Old Testament.
Look at Proverbs chapter 5, we'll go to the New Testament in just a moment, but look at
Proverbs chapter 5, and tell me if fornication is a loving relationship.
Tell me if a man fornicating with a woman is a loving thing, and it's a beneficial thing
for her or him.
Okay?
We saw that it caused alienation in the minds of those who were committing it.
Now here's the thing, in marriage it does the exact opposite.
In marriage it brings husband and wife closer together.
In marriage it builds upon their relationship and causes greater love, but outside of marriage
it causes alienation and it basically drains the love out of a relationship.
Look if you would at Proverbs chapter 5.
This is talking about committing fornication with a woman.
It says her feet, talking about the woman that's going to go to bed with you, okay,
that you're not married to, her feet go down to death, her steps take hold on hell.
Look at chapter 7 verse 27, same subject, talking about the strange woman, meaning she's
not your wife, she's foreign to you.
It says in verse 27 of chapter 7, her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers
of death.
Look at chapter 9 verse 18, he knoweth not that the dead are there, and that her guests
are in the depths of, you guessed it, hell.
Do you see a pattern here?
Have you ever noticed that when you're reading through Proverbs?
Hey, her guests are in the depths of hell.
It says in chapter 7 verse 22, he goeth after her, talking about a man who is giving in
to the seductions of a woman who wants to commit fornication with him.
It says he goeth after her straightway as an ox goeth to the slaughter.
Does that sound like a loving thing that she's doing unto him?
Does that sound like she's expressing love to him or benefiting him in any way?
She says no, he goes to her as an ox to the slaughter or as a fool to the correction of
the stalks till a dart strike through his liver as a bird hasteth to the snare and knoweth
not that it is for his life.
Go to Romans 13, Romans chapter 13, Romans chapter number 13.
So we see here that the Bible paints a very bad picture of fornication and if we were
to look at all the scriptures on fornication in the Bible, it would take more than one
sermon to go through them all.
But what I'm trying to express to you and what I'm trying to show you is that when two
people are fornicating together they do not love each other.
You say how dare you say that?
But the Bible teaches that because look if you would at Romans 13 verse 8, oh no man
anything but to love one another for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.
For this thou shalt not commit adultery, thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, thou
shalt not bear false witness, thou shalt not covet, and watch this, and if there be any
other commandment, do you see that?
We're not just talking about these five commandments.
He's just using these five as examples.
He says and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying
thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.
Love worketh no ill to his neighbor, therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.
That right there teaches that if a person loves you, they are not going to sin against
you or bring you into sin, they are going to fulfill the law.
Because the Bible says here that because love worketh no ill to his neighbor, therefore
love is the fulfilling of the law.
You say well what ill am I working to my neighbor by committing fornication?
Well you know the Bible said that you might be leading his soul on a path to hell when
you commit fornication.
And obviously we're talking about the unsaved there that are basically going further down
a downward spiral of sin, making them less likely to get saved.
Read Romans 1.
Read John 3.19-21, you're leading them down a path.
But hold on a second, even for the saved, the Bible talks about the saved committing
fornication in 1 Corinthians 6 and it says flee fornication.
Every sin that a man commiteth is without the body, but he said he that commiteth fornication
sinneth against his own body.
Did you hear that?
So does that sound like it's beneficial to me when I commit fornication?
No!
He said I'm sinning against my own body.
I'm incurring God's wrath and God's judgment and God's punishment and God's chastisement
and God's chastening on my life.
I'm not bringing the blessing of God on my life because the path to God's blessing is
through the door of obedience.
Rather I'm bringing a curse upon my life.
I'm bringing a snare upon my life and look, when you commit fornication with someone,
you're not only damaging yourself, but you're bringing a curse upon them too and if you
loved them you wouldn't do that to them.
If you loved her you wouldn't bring a curse upon her and shame upon her.
And if you loved him you would not bring judgment and cursing and sin into his life.
Therefore fornication is not a loving relationship because anything that is love that's a biblical
love fulfills God's law and does not transgress God's law.
Now a lot of people, go if you would to, I'm going to show you some other things, but go
if you would to 2 John.
Second John, right before the book of Revelation you have those little short books, 2nd, 3rd
John, Jude, go to 2nd John and let me say this, a lot of people will abuse this passage
from Romans 13 and here's how they get it completely backwards, here's what they say.
They say, well we don't need to preach all these commandments, all we need to do is just
preach that if we love one another everything will be great.
I mean you've heard that doctrine, right?
Hey, quit preaching all these commandments, just preach love God and love your neighbor
and the whole law is briefly comprehended in that one saying, thou shall love thy neighbor
as thyself.
But here's the problem with that, here's the problem with that, if you don't define what
that love is, you can say love God and love your neighbor all day long, but if you don't
define what that love is, people are not going to understand what it is and therefore they're
going to think, oh yeah, I love my girlfriend, therefore anything goes.
I love my boyfriend, therefore anything goes.
But see, the Bible tells us what love entails in 2 John, and let me get there myself.
But in 2 John verse number 5 it says, and now I beseech thee lady, not as though I wrote
a new commandment unto thee, but that which we had from the beginning, that we love one
another.
And this is love, that we walk after his commandments.
This is the commandment that as you've heard from the beginning you should walk in it.
Look at 1 John 5 verse 3, for this is the love of God that we keep his commandments
and his commandments are not grievous.
So Romans 13 says, hey if we love our neighbor, it means that we're not doing harm to our
neighbor, we're not doing ill to our neighbor, and the only way that we can not harm our
neighbor or not do ill to our neighbor is by following God's laws.
And he says if we love God, keep his commandments.
This is the love of God that we keep his commandments, and his commandments are not grievous.
So what's the Bible teaching here?
Not saying, hey let's just forget all God's commandments and just say love, love, love.
No, he's saying do God's commandments in order to be loving.
So if we don't talk about God's commandments, and we ignore God's commandments, and think
that we have a better way to live our lives, and a better idea, we can have a loving feeling
in our hearts all day long.
But that love will not last, it's not real love, and it will not last, even if it were
real love, you say well this is real love, well it's not going to last Amnon, it's not
going to last Judges 19, it's not going to last Ezekiel 23, it's not going to last.
Because you know what, I do believe that people could have love, and go to 1 John chapter
4, I do think that someone could have love for someone with whom they enter into a fornicating
relationship, but when they enter into that fornicating relationship, it's no longer love.
You can call it love, you can have a warm fuzzy feeling, it's not love.
You say, well you're just playing word games with what love is.
No, I'm telling you that the person that you're willing to fornicate with, but not marry,
you're not willing to die for that person, did you hear me?
If you're not even willing to put a ring on the finger, if you're not even willing to
say till death do us part, I mean you're not even willing to commit spending the rest of
your life with that person, let alone you're not willing to commit that your life's going
to end, that you'd give your life five minutes from now.
So you won't give up the rest of your life through death if you're not willing to just
spend the rest of your life with that person.
Think about how foolish that is, and the Bible says husbands love your wives as Christ loved
the church and gave himself for it.
And he said greater love hath no man than this, than the man that laid out his life
for his friends.
See, if I love you, I'm putting you first, not me first, I'm willing to sacrifice my
life that you might live.
That's what Jesus did, God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever
believe in the name shall not perish but have everlasting life.
That's love, love is self-sacrificing.
Love gives, it doesn't take.
You see, take, take, take, me, me, me, oh one of us has to die, well that'll be you,
see ya.
And look, isn't that exactly what happened in Judges 19?
Oh, one of us is going to get assaulted?
And I mean look, that was a pretty horrible death.
That was a brutal, disgusting, filthy, horrible death.
And he said oh, it's going to be me or you, see ya, and you know honestly, I think that
if they would have just prayed, you know God could have protected both of them.
You know if they would have been living a right life, you say well I don't know, I don't
know Pastor Anderson.
Okay, how about Genesis 19?
Same exact story in Genesis 19, and God miraculously intervened and saved everybody.
Nobody got forced, nobody died, okay.
But in Judges 19 it's like, see ya, that's not love.
It says in 1 John chapter 4 furthermore that not only is love evidenced by self-sacrifice,
working no ill to your neighbor, which obviously you are working ill to your neighbor when
you commit fornication on a lot of different levels, you're harming them on many different
levels, you're showing a lack of commitment because you're not even willing, you're not
even willing to commit your life to that person, don't even begin to tell me that you're willing
to give your life.
And God commands husbands to have the level of love of I'll give my life for you.
You're not even close if you're not even willing to just, okay I'll spend my life with
you.
I mean, can you see a big gap between those two things?
I'll spend my life with you or I will sacrifice my life and die for you.
Big difference in love there, isn't there?
Look at 1 John chapter 4 verse 7, and look, I believe this verse, I believe the Bible.
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God.
You know what that means?
God is the source of love.
It says, for love is of God and everyone that loveth is born of God and knoweth God.
You know what that tells me?
That tells me that a person that is not born of God does not love.
I mean isn't that what it says?
A person who is not born of God does not love.
And a person who does not know God does not love.
I mean everyone that loveth is born of God and knoweth God.
So if you want to be a loving person, if you really want to love someone, first of
all, you've got to be born of God.
You've got to be born again.
You've got to be saved.
You have to have the Holy Spirit inside you or at least, you know, if we were to go back
to the Old Testament, you know, before they were indwelt by the Holy Spirit though, still,
you know, you have to be of God.
You have to be saved to even know what love is and to be able to love.
And so I do not believe that unsaved people are capable of the kind of love that the Bible
is talking about because the Bible says everyone that loveth is born of God and knoweth God.
He that loveth not, knoweth not God for God is love.
So look, just because you don't love, it doesn't mean that you're not saved.
Because notice, he doesn't say if you don't love, you're not born of God, okay?
It says basically if you don't love, you don't know God because there's two steps to becoming
a loving person.
Number one, you've got to be born of God and you have to know God.
It says everyone that loveth is born of God and knoweth God.
See how those are actually two different things by the way.
Because you know, I might be saved and born again, that doesn't mean I know God.
You know, that's something that we're constantly striving to know Him more.
And so what I'm saying is that love is not found in fornication.
You might call it, oh we love each other.
Wrong.
If you love each other, get married.
That's what the Bible teaches.
And until then, you keep your hands off each other.
You stay out of that physical relationship that is reserved for a husband and wife.
You know, and if you're going to commit fornication, you are destroying whatever love is there.
Whatever love is there is being destroyed.
It's being harmed.
Because as you harm that person spiritually and as they harm you spiritually, you know
what, that is derailing and destroying the love that you may or may not even have.
And let me tell you something, once you experience real love, once you feel real love for someone,
you know what, you're going to realize that a lot of what you used to think was love was
a cheap imitation.
And I can remember, you know, when I married my wife, I can honestly say I loved my wife
with all my heart.
And you know what, honestly, when I married my wife, I was willing to give my life.
And you know what, when I married my wife, I can remember it clearly because you know
what, I thought it through and I thought about the fact that you know what, and I was
just being realistic.
You know, I looked around me and I see everybody getting divorced and I see everybody, you
know, having problems and you know, I mean I just knew the realities of the world that
we were living in.
And you know, I grew up in a Christian home.
I grew up, you know, as an independent fundamental Baptist.
I got saved as a six year old boy.
You know, my wife on the other hand was raised in a heathen country, you know, so she did
not grow up in a Christian home.
And you know, my wife of course was saved before I began to date her and before, you
know, we got married, she was saved.
But you know what, when I married my wife, I thought long and hard about the fact and
I made a decision before God that said, I am marrying this woman until death, I'm going
to spend my life with her, I'm willing to sacrifice everything for her.
And I mean literally, I knew in my mind, you know what, if for some reason this relationship
were not to work out, you know, God forbid, right, you know, because you see everybody
getting divorced, 75% of marriage is ending in divorce, I remember distinctly thinking
and believing, you know what, if for some reason, God forbid, I knew I would never leave
my wife and she said the same thing to me, but you know, the only person you really know
for sure is yourself, right?
And you know, I knew that it was never going to, I would never leave her or forsake her,
but I even just went through the hypothetical in my mind, if for some reason, somehow, my
wife were to leave me, I will remain unmarried for the rest of my life until one of us dies.
And I told that to God before I got married, I prayed that to God before I got married,
because the Bible says that if you, you know, if you divorce your wife and marry another,
you're committing adultery.
And so I made a commitment that said, you know what, if I marry her and she hates me
and leaves me and divorces me and despises me, I will be faithful unto death.
And that is love.
That is what marriage is, that's the difference between marriage and a concubine.
Did you get that?
That's the colossal difference.
And if you're married, and most of the people I'm preaching to are married right now, I
mean there are a lot of singles here too, and look, you single young guys, you better
listen to what I'm saying right now, single young girls, better listen to what I'm saying
right now.
Because let me tell you something, I'll tell you how I stayed pure, because I went to my
wedding day pure, okay?
And I mean, I'm not saying I was perfect, I'm not saying I didn't commit a lot of sins
along the way, but I was a virgin when I got married, and let me tell you how I got there,
it was preaching like this, not even that I heard as a teenager, but that I heard as
a little kid.
Because when I was a teenager, listen to this.
From the time I was 12 to the time I was 16, I went to very liberal churches.
The NIV, rock and roll type church, okay?
Now don't you think 12 through 16 is a pretty dangerous age to be in those kind of liberal
watered down churches?
And let me tell you something, when I was ages 12 to 16, I'll tell you something, there
was a lot of temptation, especially as you get into 14, 15, 16, there was a lot of temptation
to commit fornication.
And there was a lot of opportunity to commit fornication because there is no supervision.
You're going to Christian school, I was going to Christian school, but I mean, there's no
supervision.
We were not supervision.
There were plenty of opportunities and plenty of times and plenty of strong temptation as
a young man that's 15, 16 years old to commit fornication.
And I didn't commit fornication for one reason, are you listening to me?
One reason.
I did not want to incur God's wrath on my life because I had heard fire breathing preaching
as a kid that told me, don't commit fornication.
God's going to curse you.
God's going to punish you.
God killed people in the Bible.
It's wicked, it's going to curse you.
And you know, I got into my teenage years and I hear this preaching about, you know,
you just want to save yourself for that special someone.
And I mean, look, I believe that.
I mean, now I understand, like looking back to that now, that kind of preaching, the watered
down type of preaching when I was a teenager that said save yourself for that special someone
and give that gift unto your spouse.
You know, when I heard that preaching, honestly, now it makes perfect sense.
Now it's really important to me, but you know what, at the time, that was like water off
a duck's back to me when I was 15 years old.
I mean, when you're 15 years old, you're not thinking about, oh, I want my marriage to
be great someday and you know, I'm not going to sacrifice.
You're not thinking about that.
You know what you're thinking about?
God is going to beat the living fire out of me for the rest of my life if I, you know,
I'm going to suffer for this and I'm going to be reaping this for the rest of my life
if I commit this sin.
And you know, I'm sure a lot of people right now might be offended by the sermon that I'm
preaching right now, but you know what, the sermon that I'm preaching right now is the
truth.
Okay?
And I'm not trying to offend you or hurt your feelings.
If you've committed fornication in the past and this sermon offends you, you know what,
you just need to get right with God because I'll tell you right now, I'm sure that if
you're right with God, you've repented of that, you're sorry, you wish that you hadn't
done it, and now you're a loving person because you've corrected it.
So there's no reason to get mad at me, oh, he's mad at me because 10 years ago or five
years ago or two years ago I committed fornication.
Look, take it to the cross and leave it there.
You know, I mean, I hope you confessed that and forsook it a long time ago.
And now you're walking in love.
Now you're walking in charity.
Now you're walking in the Spirit.
Now you're walking in the light.
Don't get mad.
I'm warning the young people so they don't make the same mistakes that you made.
They need to hear it.
And you know what, I've committed other sins and then later I preach about that sin because
I repented of it and got right with God about it.
You know, I didn't fall into that particular sin and I'll tell you why.
The fear of God.
I was scared to death.
Scared to death.
And you know what, kids?
You ought to be scared to death to commit fornication because it has very damaging repercussions
in your life and you will suffer for it and it is not worth it.
Plus, you know, you might even have a relationship with someone that you do love and care about
and you know, you are possibly going to destroy that relationship.
That could have been somebody that you could have spent the rest of your life with.
You know, that could have been a really good person for you to be with.
But you're going to destroy that relationship by committing fornication for your own selfish
desire to commit fornication and harm the other person in the process.
Because you're fulfilling the lust of the flesh.
Everything that the Bible is speaking against.
And look, let me tell you something.
When I was a teenager, you know, I definitely was tempted, you know, and I definitely, you
know, could have if it weren't for the preaching in my mind that kept me from that.
But let me say this though, if you would have asked me how I felt about, you know, the girls
that I was, you know, pondering committing fornication with, right, or tempted to commit
fornication with during those years, I probably would have said, oh, I'm so in love with this
person.
Right?
I mean, isn't that what you think when you're young?
Oh, I'm just so, I just love this person so much, but you know what, looking back, I did
not love any of them.
And I thank God that I didn't fornicate with them.
Because I did not love them.
You know, at the time I would have described what I felt as love just because I didn't
know what real love is, but then, you know, later when you get married, you know, and
the feelings that I had toward my wife when I got married were so different than any feeling
that I'd ever had toward anyone else.
And the feeling of, you know, wanting what's best for her.
Putting her first.
And I mean, look, that's what a marriage is about.
You know, it's about loving the other person and, you know, taking care of her and putting
her first.
Are you listening, guys?
Put her first.
You know, do what's best for her.
I'm not saying give her everything she wants.
I'm saying do what's best for her.
Do what's right for her.
You know, care about her.
Love her.
Okay, and that is a far cry from a couple of teenagers fornicating.
Not even close.
I mean, I just remember being married and just, you know, wanting to teach.
I mean, I used to preach to my wife the Bible every day.
In fact, I still do.
But you know, I mean, as soon as my wife got saved, every morning I made her read the Bible
every morning.
Just when we were dating.
I'd say, hey, have you read the Bible yet?
You need to read the Bible.
Here's where you read.
And she'd read it.
I'd say, what'd you read about?
You know, and it's like, why?
Because I hated her?
No, because I loved her.
I was trying to do what was right for her.
Now have I been perfect?
Was I perfect then?
Am I perfect now?
No.
But I can honestly say from the bottom of my heart that I wanted what was best for her
and I was willing to sacrifice my whole life to the point where I said, you know what,
if this doesn't work out, I'll just be single for the rest of my life.
I was willing to sacrifice that and I would have died for her then and I'd die for her
now.
And isn't that what love is supposed to be?
Isn't that what it's supposed to mean?
But see how fornication is so far away from that?
And you know, people that are unsaved, they don't even know what this is.
And you know, you can show me all the movies you want and you can show me all the examples
of unsaved people that are so loving that you want.
I don't believe it.
It's not real love.
What's real love is what Christians that are saved and that know God experience within
the bounds of marriage.
That is love.
And once you've experienced that, you'll see how everything else is a cheap imitation.
You'll see how it's not real.
Now look, again, this doesn't just go to the subject of fornication.
This doesn't just go to the subject of being married.
This also just goes to our lives.
You know, this goes to friendships.
This goes to our relationship with God.
This goes to our relationship with our parents.
This goes to everybody that we interact with.
You know, if you love someone, you're going to do right by them and you're going to put
them first.
You're going to, and look, greater love hath no man than this, than that a man lay down
his life for his, not lay down his wife.
That's what that guy in Judges 19 did, okay.
You know, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
Now look, yes the Bible talks about being willing to give your life for your wife in
Ephesians 5, but what about when he says greater love hath no man than this, than that a man
lay down his life for his friends.
Now we're not even talking about a husband-wife relationship.
And our world has become so perverted that literally they think that the only love is
between a man and a woman.
And I'll prove it to you.
You look at the Bible, the Bible talks about David loving Jonathan.
Doesn't it say David loved Jonathan?
And it said that he even loved, he said he loved Jonathan greater than his love of women.
And you know what people will do?
They'll look at that and say, oh he's a homo, he's a pervert.
You know what, that is the biggest bunch of baloney and it's a perverted mind that would
think that when they see the word love, it just automatically is referring to a physical
relationship.
David would beat the living fire out of you if he knew that you even had that thought
in your mind.
David was a man that could break steel with his bare arms, he was the furthest thing in
the world from a sodomite, he was a man after God's own heart.
But let me tell you, he's a great man, he was a godly man, he was a manly man, but let
me tell you something.
Was his marriage right?
No because if you remember, and you know, honestly it wasn't really his fault completely
in the beginning because he married a woman and they were in love and everything was great,
but then Saul stepped in and separated them, took her away, gave her to another man after
they were already married, and then you know, David ended up going and marrying somebody
else.
Now look, David shouldn't have done that.
That's not right.
But he went out and married somebody else and then guess what he did then?
He had another wife.
And at the end of it all he had multiple wives, he had several wives.
So look, is it surprising that he loved his friend Jonathan more than he loved his multiple
wives?
It doesn't surprise me at all because you know what, if he really loved his wife he
wouldn't need another one.
I mean if you really love your wife the way that you're supposed to, you know, you're
not going to get all Brigham Young and start getting a bunch of other wives.
I mean you're just going to be satisfied with that one wife.
So look, is it surprising that David's love for Jonathan passed his love for women?
Of course.
But let me tell you something, when it says David loved Jonathan, you know, David was
willing to die for his friend Jonathan.
David had a godly, righteous love, it wasn't a physical relationship.
If you think it is, you're a pervert.
Perverts, you know, people today think that way just because our minds are so corrupted
by Hollywood and everything.
But you know, back when people read the Bible for thousands of years, that thought didn't
even enter their mind.
It was such a weird thought.
They just knew that David had a close friend.
You know what?
We ought to not just love our wives or love our husbands, obviously you know, women loving
their husbands is important, husbands loving their wives is important, but you know what?
We ought to love our brother in Christ.
We ought to love our sister in Christ.
We ought to love the brotherhood as the Bible says.
We ought to love our parents.
We ought to love our children.
And if we want to have real biblical love, it's going to be found within the bounds of
God's law.
How to become a loving person in two steps.
Number one, be born of God.
Number two, know God.
How to become a loving person?
Keep God's commandments.
And if you're a person who disregards God's commandments, you're going to become less
loving every day.
Whatever love you have is going to dwindle over time.
But if you're a person who comes to church and says, preach, preach commandments to me.
Preach on the law.
It's what God has told me and commanded me to do so that I can learn everything I'm supposed
to do and start doing it.
And then you get up and read the Bible every day and say, oh how love I thy law.
It is my meditation night and day.
And you search for the commandments and you find out what God wants you to do and you
fulfill those commandments.
The Bible is saying, you know, if you can fulfill all these commandments, then you'll
love your neighbor.
And when you fulfill all these commandments, then you'll love God.
And conversely, if you love God, and it's real love, because look, I'm not saying love's
not a feeling.
Because I do believe that love is a feeling.
You know, and some people, they take this too far.
Love's not a feeling.
It's just a, you know, like you just make a mental decision of, I choose to love you.
You know, obviously there is truth in that.
But there's also truth in the fact that love involves a feeling and that love does involve
emotion.
Okay.
And what I'm saying is that, you know, when you feel real, heartfelt love for anyone,
for your neighbor, for your brother and sister in Christ, when you feel deep down real, godly,
heartfelt love that's coming from your heart, you will not do ill to your neighbor.
Did you hear me?
When you have love in your heart, you won't do ill to your neighbor.
And the more love you have in your heart, the less likely you are to do ill to your
neighbor by breaking one of God's commandments.
But then also, by going out and keeping the commandments, that's going to help you develop
love.
See, it's a symbiotic relationship here.
As you keep God's commandments, you'll become more loving.
And as you become more loving, you'll keep more of God's commandments.
It's sort of like, you know, which comes first, the chicken or the egg?
But both of them go together.
They work together in our lives.
So yeah, we should have a strong feeling of love toward our spouse, a strong feeling of
love toward our friends, a strong feeling of love toward our church and our fellow church
member, a strong feeling of love to our parents, our brother or sister or whatever.
But we should also have actions that are compatible with that love.
And if our actions are incompatible with love, the love's going to dwindle.
And if our love is not real, our actions will dwindle and we'll start doing the wrong type
of actions, okay?
And so, you know, we need to understand that a lot of the love that we've been exposed
to in our lives was a counterfeit.
All this lovey-dovey, oh, we're just so, I mean look, what do people think is love?
Oh, we just spend so much time together and it's so fun.
We just have so much fun together.
I mean every time we're together, I'm smiling and it's fun.
And oh, we exchange all these secrets and we're so close and we're such good buddies.
But you know what?
Let me tell you something.
I've been very close with a lot of really good buddies and it's funny, my wife has even
made fun of this before because basically my wife said, you know, you sure had a lot
of best friends.
Because I'd be like, oh yeah, this guy was my best friend back then.
Oh, back when I was 15, this guy was my best friend.
And when I was 16, this guy was my best friend.
When I was 17, this guy was my best friend.
And my wife basically said to me, you know, this guy must not have been that great of
a friend if you're replacing your best friend every six months.
And I got to thinking about that and it's true, I pretty much did replace best friends
every six months.
I was like, oh man, that guy is my best friend.
And listen to me, you know what I mean by the fact that he's my best friend?
We went everywhere together.
We were constantly hanging out.
We told each other every secret, you know, we'd talk, you know, oh I like this girl and
you like this girl and oh man, this is what happened at home with my parents and oh man,
this is what happened at school.
And we told each other everything.
And we hung out together.
And we went swimming and we played racquetball and we rode our bikes together and we pulled
pranks together and we went to school and we went to church and we were best friends.
And then six months later, nothing.
Who's ever had friends like that?
Put up your hand.
I mean I'm talking, these were really close friends.
I mean I'm serious and like even to this day I look back and say that was my best friend.
And then six months later, and I could name for you several friends that I've had, I could
probably literally, I could probably name to you seven friends that I was just really
close with, just really good buddies, you know, at different stages.
But you know what?
Was that really the type of love that the Bible's talking about?
Or was it just, this is a cool person that's fun to hang out with?
Oh but I just talked all these secrets and oh it was so close and it was so fun and it
was, we had so much in common, I mean look, we both listened to all the same music.
Well that's out the window now that this is my music.
Oh man, we just loved all the same movies.
Oh we just loved sports together, we used to lift weights together.
Look do you see how this could be translated to a boy-girl relationship and how people
could confuse being buddies with love?
I mean if we could look at friends that we had that were just a male friend that was
our close buddy that we had a lot in common with, that we had a lot of good times with
and had a lot of laughs with, do you see how easy it could be when you then mix in a physical
attraction where you've got a guy and a gal who have all that fun and they have all that
closeness and they just have so much in common, how they can get confused with that and think
oh this is love.
Because when the physical attraction is on top of it, and then they can fornicate and
they can mess up the other person's life, mess up their life, cause all these problems.
You know why?
Because they don't have a right understanding, a definition of love, hey wait a minute if
I'm having a new best friend every six months, this is probably not a very serious love that
I have for my friend or that my friend has for me, it's more of just a shallow, are you
listening?
A shallow, hey, we get along.
And so get a biblical definition of love, flee fornication, and those that are already
married seek to have the right type of love for your spouse and also never even dare even
think of coming close to committing the wicked sin of adultery.
And you know, children, young people, singles, take heed unto what I'm saying.
The Bible talks a lot about fornication, it's not a pretty picture.
Let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer.
Father we thank you so much for your word and we pray that it would sink down into our
ears, help us not to be deceived.
The world is out to deceive us.
The world is out to give us a counterfeit and a lie of what love is so that when we
talk about the love of God and we talk about the love of Jesus Christ, they don't even
know what we're talking about.
God help us to have the real love that comes from you.
Yes it's a feeling.
Yes it's also action.
Yes it's also a decision.
It's all of the above.
Help us to have the complete package, dear God, not only of love for our spouse but of
love for our children.
Help us to love as you love.
Help us to love our fellow church member.