Amen, now the part of the chapter that I'd like to focus on is at the beginning there
of Ephesians chapter 6, the famous scripture on children obeying their parents.
The Bible says in verse number 1, children obey your parents in the Lord for this is
right.
Honor thy father and mother which is the first commandment with promise that
it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.
And ye fathers, provoke not yet unto wrath but bring them up in the nurture and admonition
of the Lord.
Today is Father's Day, I wanted to preach on a subject that would fit in with Father's
Day and I want to talk about having the right expectations for your children.
You see today people's expectations for their children are far too low.
And when you don't expect much from your children, you're not going to get much from
your children.
And today people just assume that kids are going to be disobedient, they're going to
be bratty, they're not going to be able to sit in church, they're not going to
be able to do the things that God commands them to do.
But yet I'm going to go through a list this morning of things that biblically we should
expect out of our children.
What should we expect from our children biblically?
Obviously in this passage we see that children should be expected to obey their parents.
That means when their parents tell them to do something, they need to do it.
Now you don't have to turn there but in Colossians chapter 3 verse 20 the Bible says
children obey your parents in all things for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
Now flip over to Galatians chapter 4, you're in Ephesians, just write one book over,
you're going to find Galatians to the left, but the Bible says children obey your
parents in the Lord for this is right, honor thy father and mother, which is the
first commandment with promise.
What should be expected of our children?
Well first of all obedience, but not only that, look what it says in Galatians chapter
4 verse 1.
Now I say that the heir, as long as he is a child, watch this, differth nothing from
a servant, though he be lord of all, but is under tutors and governors until the
time appointed of the father.
And so what this is saying is that even if a child is growing up in a king's family,
even if he's growing up as a very important person, while he's a child the Bible says
he differth nothing from a servant.
And so the first thing I want to show you that should be expected of our children is
that they should be expected to serve, expected to be a servant, to work.
The Bible says in Proverbs 20-11, even a child is known by his doings whether his
work be pure and whether it be right.
The Bible tells that children should be expected to work, and that they should be known by
the work that they do, and the Bible says that while they're a child they differ
nothing from a servant.
That means that in your house you should expect your children to work around the house.
I mean there's a lot of work to be done in the house, why should it all be done by
mom and dad?
Why should the trash always be taken out by mom and dad, the dishes, the laundry,
you say, oh mom's going to handle that.
And it's funny because I was getting a new cell phone yesterday because my cell phone
was destroyed, and I was talking to the people behind the counter and they asked me,
oh do you have any kids?
Because they were talking about Father's Day, and I said yes, and they said how many, and
I said I have eight children.
And they're like, eight children, all right, you know they couldn't believe it.
How old are you?
How do you have eight children and everything?
And they're just, how do you do it?
I have two kids and I can't even handle it.
And I explained to them that as you have more children it does get easier because
of the fact that your children should get to a certain age where they start being
more of an asset than a liability.
But if you don't train your children, if you don't bring them up in the nurture and
admonition of the Lord, if you don't train up a child in the way he should go, if you
don't expect obedience, if you don't expect service, if you don't expect work,
you're not going to get it.
And then you're just going to have eight, you know, mouths clamoring to be fed and
eight people who just want to be served and want to do nothing and want everybody
else to feed them and clean up after them and wash them and care.
No, you need to teach your children to serve and to work.
And then you won't be overwhelmed with work.
And a lot of people today will criticize this and attack this and it's a very unpopular
thing to say and they'll, they'll look at a family like ours where we have a lot
of children and they might see the older children helping with the younger children
and they'll say, oh, your child, they're just like a slave, you know, you're, it's
just like a servant to you and you're working that child into the ground and what
a horrible child and it's not fair.
But wait a minute, that's what life is about, working.
Why would we expect a kid to just grow up and for the first 18 years of their life,
they sit around, they do nothing, they don't contribute, they don't help.
And then all of a sudden when they turn 18, just bam, this magical switch is going
to be flipped in their mind and they're just going to go out and be a hard worker.
No, you know what they're going to do?
They're going to say, how can I extend this childhood more?
College.
You know, and then they're going to go to Beer Pong University and they're going to want
somebody to pay for it all for them and they're going to want to have it all on debt
and student loan or paid by mom and dad because they don't want to work because they don't
know how to work because they've never been taught to work.
And let me tell you something, real men, while we're talking about Father's Day,
real men love to work.
Men were created to work.
And there's a word for people who don't like working, lazy, slothful, sluggard.
We as men should desire to go to work.
It, you know, we shouldn't have to be dragged, kicking and screaming to do any work.
And today in America, people have become slothful, they've become sluggards, they've
become lazy, they've become sedentary where people just have a habit of just sitting around.
And that's why the obesity is on the rise.
That's why people are so unhealthy because people don't work hard.
They sit around.
They're lazy.
They sit and you know what it is?
TV and video games.
That's what it comes down to.
And we shouldn't just let our children sit.
First of all, I don't let my children watch TV, period.
Okay, but if you're going to sit there and let your kid just spend hours a day watching
TV, hours a day playing video games, while you're breaking your back to clean the bathroom,
to clean the house, to clean the yard, to pull weeds, you know, to pick up the
dog do's, to take out the trash, you're fixing things around the house and you're
working and working and working while your child just plays and says, you know, bring
me more food.
Clean up my mess.
And then you expect your child to grow up and be a hard worker.
It's not going to happen.
Hard work starts as a child and laziness can start as a child.
Being a slothful person can start as a child.
We need to expect our children to do some work around the house.
And you know, if there's a way to even include your children in your job, most jobs today,
that's probably not really possible.
But if there's a way to bring your son to work, you should do that every chance you
get.
I've had a lot of times when I was able to bring my son to work with me and I paid
them based on how much they worked and how much they helped me get jobs done.
But most job sites would not allow a child to come.
But if there's a way to put the children to work, the more you can put them to work,
the more you're going to keep them out of trouble.
And Idle Mind is the devil's workshop.
The more that you can get them to get the experience of working, and by the way, most
kids, if they haven't been ruined on TV and video games and too much candy, most kids
actually like to work.
I mean, if I said to my kids right now, hey, do you guys want to go to work with
me?
Yeah, let's go.
They'll cry if they're left behind.
I mean, they would fight over who gets to go to work with me.
Because there's an inbred desire in man to work.
That can be stifled and that can be perverted when we live in a world of just TV and video
games, then laziness and sedentary lifestyle can set in.
We need to expect our children to serve and to work, make mom's life easier, make
dad's life easier, and no, it's not going to make the kids miserable.
It's actually going to make them happier because find the most depressed people.
It's people that are sedentary.
It's true.
People that are the most depressed are the people who sit around the most.
People that are busy, people that are working hard, people that are staying active and getting
things done, they're too busy to even decide whether they're depressed or not.
It's people when they just sit around and even just scientifically, even just chemically,
if you go out and work hard, you get a natural high.
You get a rush of endorphins.
When you go out and you dig a ditch at work and you go out and you work hard, whatever
you do.
We have people in our church that work in plumbing.
We have people in our church that are electricians, locksmiths.
We have a guy in our church who rides a bicycle pedicabbing, talk about an active
job, pulling people around in a pedicab at events and that's what he does.
We have a lot of different people who work in a lot of different jobs, but I'll tell
you this, when you work hard and accomplish something, it feels good, doesn't it?
I mean it feels good at the end of a good day's work.
Even if your job is not even necessarily that physical of a job, it still gives you
a good feeling of accomplishment to finish a job well done and you get that sense of
accomplishment when you're done.
But you're robbing children of that when you give them no work to do.
You're not even giving them those endorphins.
You're not even giving them a chance to know what that feels like, to work hard
and achieve something and be rewarded for that.
So we need to make the kids work and help with housework, help with younger siblings.
They're learning skills of how to care for children that they're going to use later
when they have children.
They're learning skills of cooking, of taking care of things around the house.
You know we have a bunch of chickens at our house that produce eggs for us that we eat.
And honestly by the time we have bought the chickens and by the time we feed the chickens
and by the time we just take care of them, it's definitely not cheaper than buying the eggs
at the store.
Buying the eggs at the store.
Now obviously they're organic and healthy because we're doing it at home and they're
not living in their own excrement on top of each other in cages.
But if you were to go and buy the equivalent eggs at the store, the nice eggs, the ones
that are cage free and all that, they would probably be a little cheaper than what
it costs us to raise them at home or probably right about the same.
But yet, part of the reason that we do that is just to teach our children where food comes
from and just to teach our children to work.
Because they have a chore every day of going out and taking care of the chickens and
honestly the eggs do taste better when you have them from home.
They're healthier because we know exactly where they're coming from.
But honestly it doesn't save money, but at least they're learning skills and they're
learning to work hard and they're understanding that these eggs don't just appear in the
fridge magically, but that a lot of work and effort goes into producing food and they
have to take care of the dog and take care of the chickens and things.
And by the way, I don't live on a farm.
I live a half mile from here.
I live in the subdivision right here.
I live in a residential subdivision.
I don't have a huge backyard or anything, but we have chickens and we do that just
in our backyard.
So what I'm saying is that children need to be expected to serve and to work.
Go to Hebrews chapter 12.
Not only should children be expected to obey their parents, not only should children be
expected to work hard and to serve in the home and not to just be a freeloader, but
when they get old enough to do anything to help, they should be helping.
And it should start immediately.
And by the way kids, if you're listening to this, you need to start working harder
at home.
And honestly, your parents work hard, they pay for you, you need to observe them.
That's what the Bible teaches, that you will be known unto the Lord for the work that
you do, even as a child the Bible says.
It says in Hebrews chapter 12 verse 5,
And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children.
My son despiseth not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked
of him, for whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons.
For what son is he whom the Father chasteneth not?
But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards and
not sons.
Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, watch this, and we gave
them reverence.
Shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits and live?
For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure.
But he for our profit that we might be partakers of his holiness.
Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous.
Nevertheless afterward it yielded the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are
exercised thereby.
So according to this passage, children should have reverence for their parents.
And especially in this case it's talking about the father, other places talk about
them fearing both father and mother.
But here it talks about the fact that we had fathers of our flesh which corrected
us, we gave them reverence.
Shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits and live?
Let me say this, children who respect their father on this earth, their physical father,
children who have reverence and fear and respect and they honor their father, that's
going to carry over in how they look at God.
Because the father in heaven is going to be treated in many cases similar to how
they treat their father.
You know, if they're going to be one who has no respect for authority, no reverence
for their father, it's going to be hard for that person to grow up and then all of
a sudden they're just going to honor God and respect God who is the father of spirits
in heaven.
It's just not going to happen.
But the Bible teaches that we as parents should demand respect from our children and
reverence from our children.
What should be the expectation?
And look, again, the expectation is too low today, that's why children are turning
out wrong.
Because people are comparing themselves amongst themselves and sure, if you want to go look
at what unbeliever's children are like or go to the public school and see what those
kids are like, it'll be pretty easy to pat yourself on the back and say, well, I'm
doing a great job as a parent.
Look at that kid.
You know, but that's not, that's not the standard.
We shouldn't just sit there and compare ourselves amongst ourselves and you can always
find a kid that's worse than your kid.
We need to have a high expectation for our children and expect more from them.
We need to expect obedience.
We need to expect that they work and that they serve in the house.
We need to expect that they give reverence and respect.
Go if you would to Exodus 21.
While you're turning to Exodus 21, it says in Malachi 1-6, a son honoreth his
father and a servant his master.
If I then be a father, where is mine honor?
And if I be a master, where is my fear?
Sayeth the Lord of hosts unto you, O priests, that despise my name.
And ye say, wherein have we despised thy name?
In Malachi 1-6, God is demanding respect.
He's saying a father must be honored by his children and I'm demanding that respect as
a father.
We need to demand that respect in our own homes.
The respect of children, you say, well what does respect look like?
Well first of all, when you address them, they answer you the first time.
So if I call my child and say, you know, Solomon, and he just ignores me, that's disrespectful
isn't it?
Maybe he's busy, maybe he's doing something else, and I say, Solomon, Solomon, and I
have to go find him or something.
One of the signs of respect would be that when I call him, he answers immediately.
When I tell him to come, he comes immediately.
When I ask him to do something for me and I say, son, I need you to go do this, and
so he says, yes sir, and he gets it done.
He doesn't just, okay, but rather he treats me with respect and addresses me as sir and
does what I tell him to do.
You say, oh man, that's crazy, that's old fashioned, you're a tyrant, you're a dictator.
It's called what people have done for the last 6,000 years, just because we live
in this generation, and the Bible says there is a generation that curses their father
and does not bless their mother.
We're living in a generation where children have no respect for their parents, so a dad
telling his son, hey, do this, and him saying, yes sir, says, oh, what in the world, you
drill sergeant.
They don't understand that that's what people have done for the last 6,000 years.
Their father told them to do something, they just say yes and they do it.
You say, well, what's the secret?
How do I get my kids to treat me with respect?
My kids are not showing me respect at all.
I tell them what to do, they just ignore me.
I say, son, bring me that, they won't bring it to me.
I say, son, stop doing that, they just keep doing it.
You know, I say, son, you need to get this work done, and they just don't do the
work.
What do I do?
How do I get them to reference me?
Well, what did the Bible say?
It said, furthermore, we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave
them reverence, and that correction is physical discipline.
The Bible said, whom the Lord loveth, he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom
he receiveth.
So the Bible's saying our physical father gave us a weapon and we obeyed him, and we
respected him.
And why do children not respect their parents today?
Because of this Dr. Spock, modernistic, time-out, newfangled parenting that's not
biblical.
The Bible says, withhold not correction from the child, for if thou beatest him with the
rod, he shall not die.
Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
That's what the Bible says, okay?
Now obviously we're not talking about injuring or harming the child, but I'm talking about
giving your child a serious spanking that they will respect you and that they will
have reverence for you and understand that obedience is demanded in the house.
And you say, well that's not a loving way to parent.
No, the Bible says he that spareth his rod, hateth his son.
That's what the Bible says.
It says he that spareth the rod, hateth his son.
But he that loveth him, chasteneth him betimes.
And so the Bible teaches exactly the opposite of what this world's going to tell you.
Oh, you don't love your child if you don't spank him.
No, if you don't spank him, you don't care about your child.
You know what it shows?
You care more about what everybody else thinks than you love your own child.
The Bible tells us the right way to rear your children.
It says if you love them, you'll discipline them.
The Bible says whom the Lord loveth, he chasteneth and scourgeth every son whom
he receiveth.
It says, what does it say?
It says if ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons.
For what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards and
not sons.
He said if you're not being disciplined by God, you're not even God's son because
God disciplines all of his children.
So basically what we have today is we have children that are born within marriage,
but they're basically a de facto bastard son.
They're being treated as a bastard son in their own home.
Because a real son is disciplined by a loving father and a father who doesn't discipline
his son, the Bible says doesn't love his son.
Whether that flies in the face of your philosophy or not, ask me if I care.
What does the Bible say?
That's all that matters.
And so we see here in Exodus 21 just some really stern warnings in the Old Testament.
This is under the Old Testament when the nation of Israel was ruled over by judges.
Remember when God set up the system of the judges and they were ruled over by
God's laws.
They didn't have a king, but rather God's word was the final authority.
And so not only did God give moral laws of what's right and wrong, he also gave civil
laws of just how to govern society and just how to keep the peace.
And so there are laws about all kinds of things, about financial transactions, about
just, you know, what to do with thieves, what to do with murderers, what to do
with all manner of criminals and so forth.
And the Bible says in Exodus 21, 15, it says, and he that smiteth his father or his
mother shall be surely put to death.
So this would be somebody who would actually attack their mom or attack their dad and
physically smite their parent.
You know, punch dad in the face or whatever.
The Bible says he that smiteth his father or his mother shall surely be put to death.
Verse 16 says he that stealeth a man and selleth him.
Or if he be found in his hand, he shall surely be put to death.
So what would we call that?
Verse 16.
Kidnapping, right?
You know, or basically kidnapping somebody and enslaving them and selling them.
But any kind of kidnapping, the Bible said they should be put to death.
And then in verse 17 it says, and he that cursed his father or his mother shall surely
be put to death.
So this should show you that God is very serious about how he feels about children
toward their parents.
They should not curse their parents and they should not assault their parents.
But literally today you have children that would go so far as to slap their parent
in the face or to say I hate you to their parent.
Who has seen it before?
I mean all over the building, hands all over the building, going up, saying they've
seen that before.
And it's so extreme.
I guarantee you it wasn't happening back then.
I mean, oh man, are they putting all these kids to death?
No, it just wasn't happening.
It would have been a rare thing and it's more of a warning than anything because I
guarantee you with a warning like this in place and with parents that are properly
teaching and disciplining their children, it's not even going to happen.
I mean, I never would have dreamed growing up of saying to my dad, I hate you.
I would have never even dreamed of saying that.
But I remember being at a neighbor kid's house and hearing him say on my street,
my neighbor, saying to his parents, I hate you.
And I was just blown away by that.
I couldn't imagine that.
How do you say that to your parents?
That's unthinkable.
And I mean, physically attacking your parents, are you insane?
I mean smiting your parents, assaulting your parents, never would have entered my mind.
But you know what?
I was raised in a Christian home and I was spanked.
I was brought up with biblical discipline.
And that's why those type of things would have never even entered my mind.
But that should just show you that God's serious about this thing of treating our parents
with respect.
Go to Ecclesiastes chapter 10.
Let's talk about some really practical things that we should expect of our children.
Ecclesiastes chapter 10.
You know, we should expect them to obey us.
We shouldn't be just telling them to do something and then they don't do it and
we just let it go.
I mean how many times do you see parents just telling their child, Johnny, come here.
Johnny, come here.
Come here, Johnny.
Johnny, come here.
One, two, three, four, and you're like, how high are you going to go?
We literally heard a lady one time get into the two digits.
She was into 12, 13.
We were in Michigan one time and this lady literally got into the two digits.
And I walked up to her and said, 17, 18, and she was really angry.
I probably shouldn't have done that, but it was annoying everyone because this kid
was being a monster and annoying everyone.
And she's just, you know, nine, ten, and it keeps getting like more obnoxious.
You know, it starts out like, one, two, it's like, 13, you know, 14, it just keeps getting
more intense of a number.
But the counting means nothing.
There's no, there's no, that number represents nothing.
It's not like you're going to get 14 swaths or something.
No, it isn't.
It's just, it's just counting.
And these parenting books will say that.
You know, if they don't obey, it'll tell them like, okay, you know, tell your kid what
to do, and if they don't obey, tell them again, and if they don't obey, tell them
the third time, then count to five, and you know, what in the world, this is complicated.
So literally, my wife showed me a parenting magazine yesterday, and it said like, you
tell them three times, then you count to five, and if they don't obey the first three
times and after counting to five, then you're going to put them in time out, or you know,
whatever, the punishment.
And then this lady comments on there and says, oh yeah, this totally works.
I've been doing this, and every time I get to four, my child comes to me.
So basically what they're saying is, now to get their child to obey, they say it
three times, count to four, and then the child comes.
But I mean, that's an improvement for them, because before the child would just
never obey.
And this is a great step, that now they can say everything three times and count to
four.
It's ridiculous.
Why not just train them that you come the first time?
Okay?
And you say, when does the training start?
You know, when they're old enough to walk around and choose where to go, that's when
they start, need to start being taught to come when they're called.
You know, and I say to my children, come, and they come.
You know, it's like that Roman centurion, you know, I say to this man, go, and he
goeth, to another come, and he cometh, and do this, and he doeth it.
I'm a man under authority, he said.
So we need to expect our children to obey, and not just have this attitude that says,
well, it's okay to obey the third time.
Okay, is that how it works in life?
You make mistakes three times before any punishment comes?
I mean, think about, there are mistakes, you make it once, and you're dead.
Think about this.
Getting on the freeway on-ramp the wrong way.
That's probably a mistake you make one time, and you die.
You know, or you know, going out and trying drugs, you know, getting drunk, I mean, those
things can lead to horrible consequences the first time.
I mean, you know, how many times did Uzzah have to touch the ark before he died?
Don't touch that Uzzah, no Uzzah, don't touch, Uzzah, don't touch, one, two, three,
four, and then Uzzah died, right?
How many, okay, how many times, and you say, oh, this doesn't make any sense, well
how many times does your kid have to touch the hot stove plate before it's going to
burn them?
Three times and then hold it for four seconds?
I mean, if your kid puts his hand on the stove three times and then holds it there
for four seconds, how many times do they have to, you know, chase the ball into the
street when a car's coming, and you say to your child, stop, and your child never
listens to you the first time, well are they going to listen when they're running
into, it's not even safe to have your children reared in this newfangled way.
I mean, your children obeying you is a safety issue, because sometimes you give them a command,
it's important.
You know, sometimes there could be a wild dog or there could be a car coming or there
could be all manner of hazards and things that are hot, things that are dangerous,
maybe they're on the edge of something, and you tell them no and then they just
do it anyway, I love this obeying.
One chance, that's life, that's ready.
How many times do you have to do certain things to get fired from your job?
There are a lot of mistakes, you make it one time, fired, fired.
Don't listen, your boss says, do this, you do something different, you're fired.
Especially in the first 90 days, you know, when you're on that probation period and
they're on a hair trigger to let you go.
What are you teaching your children?
You're teaching them about a false reality where you get all these second and third
and fourth chances, it's just not the world that we live in, okay?
So children need to be expected to obey.
We need to have an expectation of our children that they're going to obey the first time.
We have an expectation that they're going to work, that they're going to serve, that
they're going to help out and pull their weight and earn their keep.
We should expect reverence, honor, fear, respect.
We should expect yes sir, no sir, yes ma'am, no ma'am.
We should expect looking in the eye, talking to you, and being polite to you as a parent.
But not only that, we should expect our children to eat what is put in front of
them.
To eat what is put in front of them.
Now there are children today that are growing up and the only thing that they're willing
to eat is chicken fingers and french fries.
You know, I mean that's something that everybody likes.
You know, if you find the pickiest eater, you can pretty much just give them chicken
fingers and french fries, you know, oh I like this.
You know, it's not too exotic for them, okay.
But today we have people who are growing up and being such a picky eater because they're
just allowed to turn their nose up at 90% of foods.
And this is the wrong way to raise your child.
Now look what the scripture says, look at Ecclesiastes 10.15.
It says, the labor of the foolish wearieth every one of them, because he knoweth not
how to go to the city.
So what's it saying?
People that are foolish, they're tired all the time.
They're too tired to go to work.
They're too tired to do anything.
What does that mean?
They're lazy, right?
And it says in verse number 16, woe to thee, O land, when thy king is a child and thy
princes eat in the morning.
Blessed art thou, O land, when thy king is the son of nobles and thy princes eat
in due season for strength and not for drunkenness.
By much slothfulness the building decayeth and through idleness of the hands the house
droppeth through.
So this talks about food, it talks about laziness, it talks about the fact that if
we're idle, if we sit around a lot, if we're really sedentary, our bodies are going
to decay.
That's what's being taught in verse 18, if we don't move around.
And it talks about people being really weary or tired so they can't go to work.
You know, that's a lazy person.
They're not willing to go to work and do what needs to be done.
But in between there he talks about food and he says that we should eat in due season
and that we should eat for strength and not for drunkenness.
What is that teaching us?
That the purpose of eating food is to strengthen us so that we can do what?
Work so that we can do the things that we need to do.
So we eat food as a fuel, to fuel our bodies so that we can be strong and get
the things done.
If you don't eat enough food, you run out of energy.
You know, we're going hiking tomorrow for recreation, we're going up to the top of Mount
Humphreys and honestly, part of who's going to make
it to the top is going to be based on what they eat tomorrow.
Because if somebody tries to just show up tomorrow and say, you know, I'm just fasting
and praying today, you know, they're probably not going to complete the hike.
I mean, maybe they can if they're just in really good shape.
But honestly, when you try to do a lot of strenuous work or strenuous exercise without
eating the proper fuel, you're going to run out of steam, you're going to run out of energy.
And so God is saying here that, you know, you should eat for strength and not for drunkenness.
Now what does drunkenness imply?
You know, drunkenness is when somebody's drinking something just to get a pleasurable feeling, right?
I mean, if somebody's getting drunk, it's not that, well, I just like the taste of it, you know.
They're drinking because they want to get that pleasurable experience of drinking.
And so when the Bible talks about eating for drunkenness, it's talking about a person
where what they eat and when they eat is just based on how it tickles their taste buds.
Now let me say this.
There are a lot of places in the Bible that talk about enjoying food.
So we don't want to become imbalanced here and just take one scripture and run with
it.
We want to balance everything that the scripture teaches about food.
And there is a lot of talk in the Bible about how God has blessed us with a lot
of good foods that we can enjoy and that there is great pleasure in eating good food.
So I'm not saying that we should not enjoy the good things of life and the things
that taste good.
I'm going to ask you this.
Is the primary purpose of eating pleasure and tickling my taste bud according to scripture?
Is that the reason?
I mean, is that the only reason I eat is just to have fun?
No, a lot of what we eat is because it's good for us, right?
And we all, if we're mature people, sometimes eat things that are not our favorite thing
because they're good for us, right?
You know, you might say, you know, what I really want to eat at this meal is this
cheeseburger, right?
I'm going to eat the cheeseburger.
But you know what?
Here I'm going to put some vegetables on the side also and I'm not really eating
those because they're just really augmenting the fun of this cheeseburger.
But it's more like, well, I'm going to eat these vegetables on the side because
I know that these are good for me and I know that I need to get my five a day
or whatever nutrients from these fruits and vegetables.
You know, I love to eat eggs and sausage.
And I eat eggs and sausage all the time.
Breakfast, eggs and sausage, dinner, eggs and sausage.
My wife says, what do you want to eat?
Eggs and sausage.
She's like, no, don't say that.
So she asked me, what do you want for breakfast this morning?
It's Father's Day, eggs and sausage.
And she didn't have any sausage in the house.
So she made prosciutto, which is, I don't know what it is, what is it?
Smoked pork, okay?
So I had, and it's really good though.
So I had smoked pork and eggs.
But here's the thing.
On the side of that, she chopped up for me a tomato.
So I had a whole tomato sliced up in salt and pepper.
Now the tomato was something that, I don't dislike tomatoes, but it was something that
is more of like a necessary evil, you know, in a sense.
Because I'm thinking, you know, I need to get some produce in this meal.
I don't want to just eat eggs and sausage.
You know, I need to get some fruit or vegetable here.
So I always, whenever I have eggs and sausage, she always slices up for me a large tomato
and I eat a tomato with my eggs and sausage.
And it's just something that I do every time because it's, you know, every meal I try
to eat fruits and vegetables at every meal.
Why?
Because I just love that plain tomato.
I just love chomping down tomato slices.
No, but it's good for you.
And anyone would agree that eating a tomato is good for you.
And so therefore, there are some things that we eat out of character.
But why then would we let our children just turn their nose up at 90% of foods.
I don't like this.
I don't want to eat this.
I don't like this.
And then they grow up and they like almost nothing.
Now turn, if you would, to Proverbs 20 verse 11.
Or no, I'm sorry, Proverbs 18, Proverbs chapter 18.
We need to teach our children to eat what's put in front of them.
Again, I'm not saying you have to be just totally extreme or a dictator because we honestly,
if there's something that our children just really don't like, we will sometimes let them
abstain from something that's an auxiliary part of the meal.
If it's not a main part of the meal, if it's not something that's an important
intrinsic part of the meal, we will let them abstain.
But we don't let them abstain from common everyday foods that everyone in America eats.
They can say, I don't like anchovies.
Okay, you don't like anchovies, fine.
You don't like caviar, that's okay.
We don't buy it anyway because it costs a fortune.
If they say, I don't like tartar sauce or just something that's a little bit more
specialized, okay.
If there's a few things you don't like, no problem.
But when it's like, I don't like bread, okay, that's a problem.
I don't like bread.
I don't like tomatoes.
Tomatoes are in everything.
I don't like cheese, what?
So we don't allow, I don't like meat.
I don't like, you know, when they just want to take a whole food group and just
throw it aside, no, that's not going to work.
And so we actually make our kids eat what's put in front of them.
And a lot of times it's not that they don't even like it, it's just not their favorite
thing in the world.
It's just not the best thing they've ever had.
But if you make your kids eat what's put in front of them, it will actually broaden
their palate a little bit and then they'll grow up being able to enjoy all foods and
not being a super picky eater.
And I'll say this, when I grew up, I grew up, I was a pretty picky eater when
I was growing up.
And I remember growing up as a picky eater and I remember around the time I was 13, 14
and you start really socializing a lot and, you know, it starts becoming important
to you, hanging around with your friends and, you know, you start thinking about the
opposite gender and, you know, you socialize as important.
And I remember just being embarrassed because you're in situations where everybody's
eating and enjoying things and you're this really picky eater and, you know, it's
not cool to be a picky eater.
And so I remember just making a decision as a teenager, I was like, you know what,
I'm not going to be a picky eater, I'm going to change.
And I remember just when I was a teenager, I just started forcing myself to eat things
that I didn't like.
And you know, they say that if you eat something 11 times that you don't like, you'll
like it.
And I've experimented with that, I've taken things that I don't like and I've
eaten them over and over again and after about 11 times, now those first 11 times
are miserable, but if you eat something 11 times, you'll start liking it.
Not even just tolerating it, you'll start liking it.
I used to hate cranberry juice, one time I got sick and all I could keep down was
cranberry juice.
I drank cranberry juice for a few weeks and by the end of those two weeks it was my
favorite drink and to this day I love it.
And I drink it pure, not even the cocktail, just 100% cranberry juice, the really strong
stuff.
I love it.
Why?
Because I was forced to drink it for two weeks when I was sick.
You need to expect your children to eat what's put in front of them and not to be
little Lord Fauntleroy sitting, oh, you know, I don't like this.
This is not, you know, and just expect every meal to be, and this is what my mom
used to say, look, every meal is not going to be a blockbuster.
You know, every once in a while you're going to get a meal that you just love.
The other times you just eat for strength, not for drunkenness.
But not only that, here's the big thing about eating.
It says in Proverbs 18, 9, he also that is slothful in his work is brother to him
that is a great waster.
Now the Bible is saying here, in the other passage we saw that eating for drunkenness
goes hand in hand with being lazy.
And now we're seeing that wasting your food goes hand in hand with being lazy also.
Now do you want to raise a lazy child?
I don't.
So I'm going to teach my kids not to be a great waster and to eat for strength
and not for drunkenness and to work and serve around the house.
Now what is the Bible saying here?
A great waster.
This is when your child has a plate full of food and they take a few bites and they're
full.
Now I understand that sometimes the portion on the plate is too much to eat.
But have you ever known kids who just habitually throw away entire meals with a plate?
Now look, food's expensive.
Now maybe you go to the grocery store and buy the el cheapo cheapest chemical processed
pesticide laden genetically modified food and you're okay with them dumping it down
the trash because it was trash even when you bought it fresh.
But if you actually buy decent food for your family, I mean you actually
buy organic food and you buy fresh fruits and vegetables and you buy fresh meats and
produce and you, and think about it.
If you actually prepare food from scratch at home, there's a lot of work that goes
into that.
I mean for a woman to go into the kitchen and produce a quality meal is hard work.
She should be appreciated for that.
And when dad goes out and works at his job to pay for all that food, it should
be appreciated.
Can you imagine just throwing it down the trash?
All that labor, all that money, all that expense to buy that good quality food, prepare
it in a healthful way and then it just goes down the trash.
I mean it's horrible.
It makes me sick to my stomach when I see it.
I don't tell other people what to do.
I don't tell them how to raise their kids.
I just worry about my own kids.
I mean in a sermon I'm obviously preaching what the Bible teaches and so forth.
But I'm saying I'm not going to come to you personally and say hey, I'm going to come watch
you in your home and tell you how to do it because I believe that people have the
freedom to do what they want.
If you don't want to spank your kids, then don't spank your kids.
You'll live with the result.
I'm not trying to sit here and tell you exactly how to, but this is one exception.
Even if I'm at someone else's house and I see their kid about to throw away a plate
of food, I stop them.
This is my one exception to hey, I'll do my thing, you do your thing.
I mean when I see a kid throwing away a whole plate of food, I always stop and say wait
a minute, you need to eat your food.
While I'm full, I say is there any way we can bag this up or cover this for later?
And in our house, here's the rule.
First of all, if our children have too much on the plate, we ask that they tell us that
while we're serving them.
Not get halfway into the meal and be like well you gave me way too much food.
But secondly, if there is a situation where there is too much food on their plate, then
what we do, we cover it up and we stick it in the fridge and the next meal time
comes around, it comes out of the fridge, there you go.
And that's not what they want.
They want the next new fun exciting meal that's hot out of the oven, but no.
They're not just going to throw food away because that is being a great waster.
And you need to teach your children not to waste their food, they need to eat the
crust on their bread, eat the crust on their pizza, you know they need to eat their
food and if it doesn't get finished, it needs to go away for later.
So that they'll have an appreciation for the work that mom and dad are doing to provide
those things.
You know another thing was, I remember I used to go to my grandparents' house and
they had all these little bottles of apple juice and sodas and fruit and everything
and they said at our house, you can eat and drink whatever you like at our house, because
you know grandparents are more lenient than parents.
They said you can eat and drink whatever you want, but you must always finish what
you start.
You will not waste one drop or one piece of it, you must finish everything.
We let our kids eat as many apples as they want, but we demand that they cut the apple
in slices and finish it and not sit there, because otherwise we end up with all these
apples with like four bites out of them.
All over the house, I mean we'll have like eight apples, four bites out of them, five
bites, six bites, you know and then flies or landings, it's like what in the world?
Because they just leave it up.
You know, that, we need to expect our children to eat their food, not to be picky,
to clean their plate.
This is biblical.
It says don't be a great waster.
But lastly this, we need to expect our children, this is the last point, go to 1 Corinthians
chapter 11, the last point is that we need to expect our children to behave in church.
To behave in church.
Now this is an expectation that has completely gone out the window today.
And that's why 99% of churches you go to, they don't even have the kids in the church.
Like look around our church.
First of all, you've never been to a church our size that has this many little kids
in it, per capita.
I mean out of 125 people, we probably have, I don't know, what do you think, 40 of that
is under 12 approximately?
That sound about right?
I would say, and that might sound ridiculous, but look around, I would say probably out
of 125 people on a Sunday morning, probably about 40 are 12 and under.
And yet, we have them in the service with us.
How is that possible?
Any other church you go to, they remove the children from the service.
Because why?
Because there's no expectation that a child can be good in church.
And they literally think that if they had 40 kids in a service with 125 people
in it, oh man, it's going to be anarchy, it's going to be pandemonium, it's going
to be blood in the streets, it's going to be just a madhouse, no one's going to hear
the preaching, no one's going to, because there's just not even an expectation today
that kids can be good in church, but kids can be good in church.
It's possible.
And part of the way that you train them is by reading them the Bible at home.
And you set them down, you line them up, and you have Bible time every day, and
then they learn to sit down and listen to the Bible.
Oh, ADD, ADD does not exist.
ADD, it should be called adult discipline disorder.
You know what I mean?
It's a lack of discipline disorder.
You know, ADHD.
Discipline, you know, save their soul from hell, I don't know, I'm trying to get to
the H, I don't know.
But anyway, I'm just saying, ADD is a fraud.
It's just parents who don't discipline their kids, and hype them up on a bunch
of junk food, and then don't discipline them.
That's ADD, that's ADHD.
Oh, my kid just can't sit still.
Well, you know what?
You'll make them sit still, and they'll sit still.
Kids throughout history have sat still, and they were made to sit still in church.
Now, we at our church are very tolerant of children, and you know, I like what Jesus
said, suffer the little children to come unto me and forbid them not, for of such
is the kingdom of heaven.
And so we don't have this attitude that, hey, your kid better be perfect, I don't
interrupt his service.
Look, we understand that as a child is growing up, they have to learn, and especially
when they're very small, obviously they have no experience, and so it takes time.
So we're not sitting here and being all strict about it, and all worried about it.
And if I'm preaching, and some kid starts crying, and some kid starts acting up, that
doesn't bother me.
I can handle that, because I can put up with that distraction, because it's worth
it to me to have your kids in the service, where they need to be, in the main church
service with us.
So I'm willing to put up with that, of course.
And we're very patient and tolerant of it, but at the same time, isn't it biblical that
children should be taught to behave in church?
Because the Bible says in 1 Timothy chapter 3, you're in 1 Corinthians 11, but it says
in 1 Timothy 3.15, but if I tarry long, that thou mayest know how thou oughtest to
behave thyself in the house of God.
To behave thyself in the house of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar
and ground of the truth.
We need to teach children to behave themselves in church.
Part of why kids can't sit still is because they watch TV, which changes like every minute.
If you watch TV or video games, it's constantly changing, changing, changing, changing.
You know, commercials are jumping on, and it keeps changing, changing.
So it's hard for them to focus now on a service that stays the same.
There's no commercial break, there's no word from our sponsor, it's just preaching
for 45 minutes or an hour.
They need to learn to focus on that.
Or how about to pick up a book that has white pages and black ink and just read it
for an hour.
Okay, these are skills that they need to have in their life.
But yet today, a lot of children don't know how to behave themselves in the house of God.
The Bible teaches that they should.
We as parents need to expect that from them and teach them.
What does good behavior in church look like?
Listening to the preaching.
Now again, little toddlers need to grow into this.
But you need to start teaching them and start working with them and help them get
there.
What does it look like?
Not constantly having to get up and leave the service all the time.
Now, I'll say this, and if you would, look at 1 Corinthians 11.20.
It says, when you come together therefore into one place, this is not to eat the Lord's
Supper.
For in eating everyone taketh before other his own supper and one is hungry and another
is drunken.
What?
Have ye not houses to eat and to drink in?
Or despise ye the church of God and shame them that have not?
What shall I say to you?
Shall I praise you in this?
I praise you not.
So let me ask you this.
Does your child eat on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday?
Does your child eat every single hour of the day?
7 o'clock, 8 o'clock, 9 o'clock, 10 o'clock, 11 o'clock, 12 o'clock, 1 o'clock, 2 o'clock?
Just eating, eating, eating, eating.
Unless you have a newborn baby, that's not the case.
So is church a place where people should be eating and snacking during the service according
to the Bible?
And you say, oh, I've got to keep my kid quiet.
Here, eat this.
You know, and kids are eating and snacking and chomping and dropping their food.
That's not an acceptable way to behave yourself in the house of God.
Now you say, what about a drink of water?
What about using the bathroom?
But here's the thing about that.
Obviously, there are times when you need to use the bathroom in a service.
When anybody might need to use the bathroom in a service.
There are times when anybody might get up, especially in a place like Phoenix where it's dry
and hot.
You might be dehydrated, especially if you've been out soul winning all Sunday and you
go on a Sunday night.
You might just be really dehydrated and need to get something to drink.
And you might need to get up and use the bathroom.
But wait a minute, what about when the same kids are just constantly getting up and
using the bathroom?
Every service like a clock.
And every service they're getting up and getting water.
Now here's a math equation for you.
Kid plus water equals bathroom.
Okay, does everybody get that?
So and by the way, do you remember when you were in school?
Wouldn't you just constantly just go use the bathroom even though you didn't need it
just to get up and walk around?
Who did that?
I mean, you know, or just blowing your nose.
I mean, I never, literally, I'm not a person who compulsively blows my nose.
And throughout my childhood, the only time I ever blew my nose was when I had a cold
or had the flu or something.
But just in life, I didn't.
But let me tell you something, when I was in school, I did a lot of extracurricular nose
blowing.
Why?
Because nose blowing got you out of class.
So I'd be like, oh, I got to blow my nose, you know, get a tissue, walk out
of class, looking around, you know, blow your nose and doing all that.
I never did that at home.
I never did that anywhere else.
I did it at school as an excuse to get out of class.
And you know, if you just teach your kids to just, oh, I need to go get water, just
get up and go get water, middle of preaching, I need to go to the bathroom.
So look, again, and I'm not trying to sit there and say, hey, don't ever use the
bathroom, don't ever get water.
But to just compulsively over and over again, you're just constantly getting up and
getting water, you're just constantly using the bathroom, and especially as the kids
get older.
I mean, we're talking kids that are four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
I mean, there's no reason why they should just be constantly getting up and getting
water, and think about what if they all did it?
What if 40 kids went and used the bathroom in this service?
What if 40 kids drank water?
But you know what?
What happens when the same kids are just using it, and then somebody who actually
needs it, somebody who has the legitimate reason, somebody who's not feeling well, or
somebody who just, you know, it's just one of those times, it's not available for
them, because your kid is just in there playing with the water, and playing in the
sink, and playing with the soap, and playing with the toilet paper, and getting
more water, and just running water through the plumbing, just keep putting more in
and sending more out, just a pipeline of fluids.
It's just not necessary.
The goal, and again, I'm not saying that there aren't exceptions to this.
The exception proves the rule.
But the goal, shouldn't the goal be for a child to sit in the service without
getting drinks of water and using the bathroom?
Shouldn't that be a goal or a destination to work toward?
And in fact, you know, I have in my office lollipops and little pieces of
chocolate.
Those are for kids that stay in their seat the whole service.
Don't come to me, kids, and ask me for a lollipop, or ask my wife for a
lollipop or a chocolate square, if you were one that got up and used the
bathroom.
It's fine if you needed the bathroom, but you forfeited your lollipop today.
And honestly, there have been times when we offer prizes to our children at
different phases in teaching and training our children, where we'll offer a prize
and say, hey, you know, if you guys are good in church, you're going to get X
when you get home, you know, whatever treat or dessert or candy or whatever.
But you know what, if they got up and got water and used the bathroom and
stuff, they don't qualify for that.
Not that it's just the most horrible thing in the world that they did, but
because we're trying to teach them that ideally, you come to church, you sit
still, you listen to the preaching, you don't get up, you don't eat a meal, you
don't, you know, you don't just guzzle tons of water so that you have
to be on the bathroom constantly.
It's just not behaving yourself properly.
You say, well, you're just expecting too much.
Well, you're, I say you're expecting too little.
We need to expect more from our children and we need to teach them to be good and
teach them to be obedient and not to terrorize.
Because you know what, we don't want our church to be an advertisement for
nurseries and daycares and children's church.
We don't want people to come to our church and say, well, see, this is why
you got to have a children's church.
See, this is why you got to have, you know, because it's just so obnoxious
because it's just such a distraction.
We want to do it right, folks, and be a good example and not a bad example.
And so it is important that we expect these things from our children.
We say, well, you just preach too long.
No, it's just you watch too much TV and have rotted your brain.
Preaching for an hour is not too long.
The apostle Paul preached all night till 6 AM one time.
Some guy fell asleep and fell out the window.
Remember that story in Acts chapter 20?
And so it's not that I'm preaching too long because you'll sit and
watch a movie for an hour and a half.
You'll sit and watch that for two hours, you'll sit and
watch, you know, sports and movies for two hours, three hours.
You need to grow up and first of all be a good example for your children and
then let them have an expectation of being good, working hard.
Let's raise the bar for our children is what I'm talking about today.
Let's expect more from our children.
Why? Because we just want to be straight?
No, because we love them.
We want them to grow up and be great people, not just, well,
they're, at least they go to church sometimes.
I want my children to grow up and be great.
I want them to be hard workers.
I want them to be great Christians and it's not going to happen by accident.
So these are some biblical things that we should expect of our children.
Let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer.
Father, thank you so much for the children that you blessed us with, Lord.
I hope every father today in the service knows how blessed they are to be
blessed with children because children are a blessing.
And so thank you for the children that you've given me and
all the fathers in the service, Lord.
Just help them to have a good day today and
to get some of the honor that is coming to them for
what they do, Lord, just like we honor the mothers on Mother's Day.
And Lord, please help the children in our church to grow up and
be godly Christians and help us not to just have a really low expectation
because we're comparing it to a public school system or
to what the heathen are doing, Lord.
Help us to have a high expectation based on scripture, Lord.
Not an unreasonable, crazy expectation, but
just a reasonable expectation of what's doable, Lord,
that is raising the bar a little bit.
In Jesus' name, we