to God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting yourselves one to
another in the fear of God.
Now what does that mean?
Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
Now I've heard a lot of false doctrine about this, and I just want to make this really
clear how this is false.
They'll try to connect verse 21 to 22.
This is false.
They'll try to say, "Oh, wives and husbands are supposed to submit to each other."
That's a mess.
That makes no sense.
That's basically saying nobody's in charge.
If we're submitting to one another in marriage, then there's no head.
There's no authority there.
I submit to her.
She submits to me.
We're just submitting all over the place.
I've even heard preachers get up and they've had parents submitting to their children and
just all kinds of crazy stuff.
That's not what this is saying.
You see, submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God, do you see the period
at the end of verse 21?
Look at the punctuation at the end of verse 20.
It's a semicolon.
So, verse 21 is connected to verses 18, 19, and 20.
That's the sentence, right?
18, 19, 20, and 21 forms a sentence.
Now, the reason why it says submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God, then it
goes to wives submit yourself.
It's because while we're on the topic of submitting, now we're going to switch to talking about
marriage, how wives are supposed to submit to their husbands, okay?
But the submitting one to another is not talking about marriage, it's talking about the church.
The subject was the church, right?
We all come together in the church, the church at Ephesus, and we're singing our psalms and
hymns and spiritual songs, we're giving thanks, and we're submitting one to another in the
fear of God.
Gear change.
Okay, wives, submit to your husbands.
Now, what does he mean there, submitting one to another?
We are all in the church supposed to submit one to another because no one of us is the
lord of this flock, right?
Because even the pastor, the Bible says that he's not to be a lord over God's inheritance,
but he's to be an example to the flock.
So I am not a lord over the flock.
So we are all on a level playing field.
Obviously, somebody's in charge, but it's not the same type of authority structure that
we have in marriage.
You see, when God compares the authority structure of marriage and he says the wives are to submit
to the husbands, he doesn't say as the church does to the pastor.
He says as the church does to who?
To Christ.
So Christ is to the church as the husband is to the wife, but the pastor is not to the
church as the husband is to the wife.
Does everybody understand?
Now the Bible does call the pastor the ruler and says that he rules in the house of God.
Let the elders that rule well be counted worthy of double honor and things like that.
But there's a big difference because I don't have authority as a pastor over your personal
life.
I'm not going to come to you and tell you what to do in your personal life and Lord
over you and tell you do this, do that.
The only thing that I'm actually ruling here is in the house of God.
I'm running the church.
I'm running the church service.
I'm running the operation of the church here, but I'm not running you.
I can't tell you what to do and all this stuff because of the fact that you are my brother
in Christ.
You're my sister in Christ.
I don't say to you, "Yes, my child, and I'm Father Anderson up here."
No, because that's Catholic, and the Bible says we shouldn't be called father or master
or rabbi, right?
I'm not father.
I'm not master.
I'm not rabbi.
I'm not Father Anderson, Pastor Anderson, but I'm not Lord Anderson or whatever.
So there's a difference there.
Now also think about this.
I remember there was a time, because the Bible says submitting one to another, I remember
there was a time when my ministry leader in my local church that was the head of the ministry
that I worked in, he worked with me, but on the job I was his supervisor.
So when we would go to work, I'm his supervisor.
When we go to church, he's my supervisor, and he's telling me what to do, and then on
Monday I'm telling him what to do.
You know what that is?
That's submitting one to another.
Different situations.
Or, how about this, let's say we go out on a soul winning trip or something, and sometimes
Chris Sagora's in charge, or Brother Garrett Kersway's in charge, or Brother Baker's in
charge, and I might even come along on those trips and say, "Okay, what do you want me
to do, brother?"
Right?
And then they'll tell me, "Hey, you go do this, you go do that."
That's submitting one to another.
You know, there could be situations where one person is heading up a certain ministry
or a soul winning time, and then we submit to them and say, "Okay, where do you need
me to serve?
What do you want me to do?"
But then the table could be turned a month later, you're running a soul winning day,
or you're running a church work day, or you're running this baby shower, or that, whatever,
then it goes both ways.
There are always times when we need to let other people lead us, right?
No matter who we are.
So we submit to one another, we don't always vie to be the one in charge, and always be
the one telling everybody what to do.
We submit to one another, and sometimes we say, "Okay, let's do it your way, let's do
it your way, okay, you know, we'll let you run this, you're better at this, you know
more about this, we'll defer to you on this."
So that's in the church.
When it comes to marriage, the Bible says, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands
as unto the Lord."
Now I don't know what people don't understand about that, because that's a really strong
statement.
You can't get any stronger than that.
You can't.
You just can't do it.
I mean, how can you make a stronger statement about how wives are supposed to submit to
your husband than to say, "Do it as you would to God."
Think about that.
Submit to your husband as you submit to God.
So how submitted are you to your husband?
Well that tells me how submitted you are to God, because God's the one who made this commandment.
God's the one who made this rule.
God's the one who put your husband as your authority figure in your life.
And some women right now might even be bristling at what I'm saying, but you know what?
It's not me that you have a problem with, it's God.
That's what the word says.
This couldn't be any clearer.
This is not ambiguous when it says submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto
the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church.
And he is the savior of the body, therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let
the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
What does that say?
In some things?
Well, not in that area.
Well, it says in everything.
Now, this might be a tough pill for you to swallow, but you better swallow it because
it's what the Bible says.
And you know, I'm not trying to ruin your life here.
I'm trying to actually help you live a better life.
And look, this isn't the only scripture, because you know, women could be racking their brain
right now, like, what's another interpretation?
You know, there's another way that this could...
But there's plenty of other scripture, Titus too, it says to be obedient to their own husbands.
First Peter chapter three, even as Sarah also obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters
you are as long as you do well and are not afraid with any amazement.
So the Bible is crystal clear that the wife is to submit herself to her husband.
You say, well, to what degree though?
Where do you draw the line?
Well, wherever you draw the line in your submission to the Lord.
You say, that's extreme, you're crazy, well call me what you want.
I'm just reading the Bible to you and telling you what it says.
I'm not really adding anything.
It says you submit yourselves under your own husbands as under the Lord.
The husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church.
So to what degree is our church submitted to Christ?
That's the degree that wives should submit to their husbands.
That's what the Bible says.
Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands
everything.
I mean, we say all the time that the word of God is our final authority in all matters
of faith and practice.
So let me ask you, is your husband the final authority in your life?
If not, you're not right with God.
Bible's pretty clear.
Then he gets on the husband, he said, "Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved
the church, and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the
washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not
having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish.
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies.
He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the
Lord the church.
For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife,
and they too shall be one flesh."
This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
"Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife, even as himself, and the
wife see that she reverends her husband."
So obviously, husbands are supposed to love their wives, and wives are supposed to love
their husbands.
It says that elsewhere in scripture.
But when it comes to the main thing that we should really focus on as husbands, it's to
love our wives, to show them love, to demonstrate that love, and to be willing to lay down our
lives for our wives.
To love them with all of our heart.
And you say, well, to what degree do you love your wife?
To the degree that Christ loved the church.
So again, that's an extremely high standard of how much love to have.
And the wife's main responsibility is to reverence her husband and to submit to her husband.
So obviously both husband and wife want to feel loved.
Everybody wants to be loved.
But actually what men need more than being loved is they need to be respected by their
wives.
They need to be revered by their wives.
And even more than just feeling loved, you know, they want to be revered.
And the thing is, our wives, they want to be loved.
And that's what we need to focus on with them.
Making sure they feel loved.
Making sure that they know that we love them and that we express that love and demonstrate
that love.
And here's the thing, if you love your wife, you're not going to be a selfish dictator.
You're going to be a benevolent dictator.
And people will say, "Oh, you're a dictator, amen."
The best form of government is a benevolent dictatorship.
That's what Jesus Christ is going to institute when he comes to this earth and rules with
a rod of iron.
A benevolent dictatorship.
But you see, a bad leader is one who doesn't love his people.
He doesn't care about them.
All he cares about is himself and his own power.
Look, are there husbands like that who abuse their power?
Absolutely.
And you say, "Oh, but what about all these husbands who are just these tyrants and dictators
and abuse their power and treat their wife like ... Oh, yeah?
What about all the loud mouth, disobedient wives?"
Because both exist.
Both exist.
And you know what?
Both are wrong.
But just because your wife is a loud mouth, disobedient, rebellious wife, the Bible says
love your wives.
And it says, "Be not bitter against them," meaning that when they enrage you or anger
you or hurt you, you are to not let the sun go down on your wrath.
And you are to not be bitter against them, you are to love them, forgive them, as Christ
forgave us.
You're to walk in kindness and love toward them, tenderhearted, forgiving one, just as
Christ did for us.
That's what we do for our wives, even if they are rebellious, even if they are loud and
stubborn and all the things that the Bible says that a woman should not be.
But flip that over.
Even if your husband is a jerk, even if he is a selfish tyrant, you submit to him and
reverence him.
And by the way, most people, they always want to point the finger to the other person in
the relationship when often they are the problem.
Try reverencing your husband and watch his love for you grow.
Rebel against your husband, disrespect him, constantly trample his ego, and constantly
mouth off.
And you know what?
Yeah, his love is going to wane, unfortunately, because he's human.
Even though he should love you no matter what, like Christ loves us no matter what, he's
human.
So, you show your wife no love, obviously, she's going to get bitter and whatever, just
because she's human.
But that doesn't justify it.
So don't come out of the sermon, you know, thinking to yourself, "Man, I hope my wife
was listening to this," or "I hope my husband's listening to this."
You know, you both need to listen.
Everybody needs to listen.
And if husbands are loving their wives, and if wives are submitting to their husbands,
you're going to have a happy marriage.
You say, "Well, it's 50/50."
Well, it's sort of like Christ in the church is 50/50, right?
This 50/50 queer-looking marriage where there's no boss, we're both equal, we both wear the
pants in the family, right?
That's not God's plan, and you know what?
It doesn't make anybody happy.
Feminism doesn't make women happy, it makes them miserable, and the women who scream the
loudest for their feminism are the ones who need to be put in their place the most.
On the inside, they're actually crying out, "Please, please, would you put me in my place?
Would you please lord over me?
Please rule over me.
Please draw a line in the sand.
Please put me in my place."
I'm not kidding.
Why?
They're looking for a boundary.
And on the outside, they're, "I'm going to do whatever I want."
But on the inside, they're just thinking like, "Is he just going to keep letting me push
him?"
And then they're just thinking, and then when he gives in to their ultimatums and demands,
this is what they're thinking inside, "Oh, you pathetic weakling, oh, you loser."
They want to be told no, tell them no.
They love it.
It's true.
I'm not kidding.
Why?
Because it's the natural order of things.
Nobody is happy.
It's like a fish out of water.
It's like a chimpanzee on a bicycle when you have a husband at home and he's doing all
the chores.
His wife's out working, he's at home doing all the chores, and he's like, "Yes, dear,
I'm right on it, dear.
I'll take care of it right away, dear," you know, and he's submitting to her and she's
where the best, it's completely backwards, and it may, look, men are miserable when they're
not the boss in their home, and women are miserable when they're, they don't want to,
look, they might say, "Oh, I want 50/50, I want a guy I can push around," no, they don't.
You know what they want?
A big, strong man to lead them.
Instinctively, on a visceral level, God created, all the way back to Genesis 3:16, not John
3:16, Genesis 3:16.
He says that her husband would rule over her, and that her desire would be to her husband.
Despite what all the women in the media are screaming about, women actually want to be
submitted housewives.
That's their dream.
Yes.
And don't get in the car and ask your wife if that's true.
You've already failed.
You need to just believe me and believe the Bible that that's true, and just start.
And you say, "Well, I tried it.
My wife said no, so I backed up."
Hit the bull by the horns, friend.
You got to get in there.
And I'm not saying to be a jerk.
I'm not saying to be mean.
I'm not saying to be rude.
You can be the boss and be firm and lead without being mean or a jerk.
You just need to be firm.
You just need to be stern.
And the reason I'm parking on this, you say, "Oh, why don't you talk more about husbands
loving their wives?"
But here's the thing.
Here's why.
Because we've already heard that our whole lives.
But you know what we haven't heard our whole lives?
How wives are supposed to submit to their husbands.
That's what we've not been taught.
That's what TV is not telling us.
That's what the school system and 99% of even independent Baptist churches aren't teaching.
That's why we have to kind of park it on that and undo some wrong ideas.
Why?
It's just because I don't want your marriage to be miserable.
And you know what?
If you want to walk out of here and say that I'm wrong, go ahead.
Because you're the one that's going to have to dwell in the corner of the house top eating
a dinner of herbs just to get away from your brawling contentious wife.
I'm not the one that has to live with that monster.
So if you want to walk out of here and say, well, I'm going to submit to my wife, it's
going to be 50/50, well you go ahead buddy, enjoy.
And you know what?
Your wife is not going to be happy.
She's going to think you're a pathetic loser.
When was the last time you saw a romance novel with some submitted guy on it?
It's always some dragon slayer dude with big muscles and he doesn't come along and just
say, "Hey, would it be okay if I take you out sometime?"
Even the world will tell you that, right?
And you single guys, take notes.
When you ask a girl out on a date, you tell her, "Hey, here's where we're going, here's
what we're going to do."
You take the lead, you take charge, you don't go, "So where do you want to go?
You have anything in mind for our date?"
Pathetic loser.
That's what she's thinking.
I'm not kidding.
You got to be the man.
You got to lead, and then both husband and wife can be happy, you know, just as the church
is submitted to Christ, wives need to submit to their husbands.
And this isn't about the husband's better than the wife.
I don't care if your husband has Down syndrome.
Put him in charge, okay?
This whole thing of, "Oh, I'm smarter, so I'm going to lead.
Oh, I'm more spiritual."
No, you're not.
If you were more spiritual, you'd obey what the Bible said.
Sick and tired of wives thinking that their husband is so unspiritual and he's just so
bad at leading.
Give him a chance to lead.
See what he can even do.
Crying out loud.
But he said, it's all summed up in this, I'm out of time, but in verse 33, "Nevertheless,
let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself."
This is kind of the synopsis of all these verses, "And the wife see that she reverence
her husband."
What does it mean to reverence?
Well, the Bible says, for example, in Hebrews chapter 12, it says that we should serve God
acceptably with reverence and godly fear for our God's a consuming fire.
If you study the word reverence, and I encourage you and especially if you're a lady that struggles
with this or if you're a lady that's offended by this, you should go home and do a Bible
study on the word reverence in the Bible.
That's your homework assignment, ladies, if you have a problem with this.
You go home and I want you to look up every time the word reverence is used and see what
it says.
And then at each mention say, "Is this how I treat my husband?
Is this how I am toward my husband?"
Because that's the standard, and you say, "Well, my husband's not worthy of that reverence."
Well, you know what?
Is Christ worthy?
Because do it as unto the Lord, right?
And you say, "Well, my wife's not worthy of my love."
Well, let me ask you this, are you worthy of Christ's love?
No.
I mean, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
That's how God commands His love toward us.
So we need to just quit blaming the other person and make sure that we do our -- it's
got to be from the heart, guys.
Don't just say, "Well, you know, I bought my wife flowers because I want to show her
I love her."
But here's the thing.
Women are much more perceptive than men.
And so even if you do the right gestures, even if you buy the meals and the flowers
and the chocolates and -- you know, if it's not from the heart, they're going to see through
that.
At least I know that my wife has like a sixth sense of perception.
She walks in the house and is just like, "There's been an accident here.
Something went wrong while I was gone.
She was playing with matches."
I'm like, "That was three hours ago."
My wife walks in and she knows.
Women are much more perceptive than men.
They have a sense of things.
So, if your love's not real, if you're just going through the motions like, "Well, Pastor
Anderson said to give this a shot, so I'm going to try it and see if my wife starts
reverencing me and calling me Lord," but here's the thing, if the love's not real, she's going
to sense that.
So the love has to come from the heart.
You say, "Well, how do I do?"
You know, pray to the Lord to help you.
Read the Bible.
Get filled with the Spirit.
Sing the hymns and get right with God, and think about all the reasons why you married
your wife in the first place, and you must have liked something about her, right?
And work on not acting like you love your wife, work on actually loving your wife.
No, really.
I mean, actually loving your wife.
And wives, work on actually reverencing your husband, actually having respect for him in
your heart, not just, "Yes, sir."
You know, actually having an attitude toward him that's a right attitude.
Let's buy our ads and have a word of prayer.