Let's say we have two people that want to get married and they love each other and then
they get married and they continue to love each other.
Well think about this, should that decision or that relationship be based 100% on feelings
and emotion?
I mean, should I just decide who I marry 100% based on feelings and emotion?
If I just feel strong feelings toward this young lady or that young man, depending on
what gender you are, should that be the determining factor?
You know, it just feels right.
Well do it then.
Follow your heart.
Should it be based 100% on that?
No, no, no.
Because we need to make sure that it's also based on this, right?
You want to make sure, hey, wait a minute, is this person saved?
Because you might feel so good about it and feel so strongly.
And when you get around him or her, your heart burns within you.
But what if they're not even saved?
What if they don't even love the Lord?
What if he doesn't even have a job?
What if he's a loser?
What if she's a skank?
You know, what if all these reasons why you shouldn't be with him or her?
What if your parents are giving you all the reasons why?
The church is giving you all the reasons why?
The Bible is giving you all the reasons why?
Are you just going to follow your feelings, follow your emotion, follow your heart?
That's just like Mormonism.
That's like being a Charismatic or Pentecostal.
That's like going into a Catholic church.
Who cares that the Catholic church completely contradicts the Bible on most points?
It feels right.
The Book of Mormon feels right.
The Charismatic Holy Roller Church just feels right.
Wrong.
Because it doesn't matter if it feels right, it still might be wrong.
And if you trust in your heart, you're a fool.
Walk wisely and be delivered.
But at the same time, on the flip side of that, a lot of people go to another wrong
extreme where they basically don't listen to their feelings at all.
They don't listen to their emotions at all.
And they find somebody that looks good on paper, and they marry that person without
their heart ever burning within them.
And that's just as big of a mistake.
Just as big of a mistake.
Don't marry somebody that you don't love.
Don't marry somebody that you're not excited about.
Don't marry somebody that you don't have feelings for.
Yeah, and you know what?
If you get a bad feeling, you've got to trust your gut.
If you get a bad feeling about someone, that's a good warning system that we have also that
warns us to get away from bad situations.
So we don't want to make either mistake of just completely following our heart and emotion,
but we also don't want to just discard heart, discard emotion, discard feeling.
Love isn't a feeling.
Yes, it is.
Yes, love is a feeling.
And you know what?
You say, "Well, I love the Lord and there's no feelings.
I just do His commandments."
He's not really pleased with that because He wants you to love Him with your heart and
your mind and your soul.
He wants us to feel strongly about Him.
He wants to feel strongly about each other.
So you don't want to just follow your heart, but at the same time, you don't want to just
completely ignore your heart.
Because of the fact that you have to have some chemistry with the person that you're
going to marry and spend the rest of your life with, there needs to be some chemistry
there.
Amen?
There needs to be some feelings.
There needs to be some emotion.
There needs to be real burning love there.
Because look, there are all kinds of fish in the sea.
That's the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with.
You want to make sure that you pick somebody, and I'm not saying that it has to be some
Hollywood feeling.
Some people, they raise that bar so high that because they don't tingle every time they
see or think about that person, and then they never end up getting married.
They're 40, 50, 60, and it's like I'm still looking for that feeling.
I still haven't got the burning in the bosom.
People often take things to wrong extremes.
What we want to do is use our brain to figure out whether this person is even, what's the
word, eligible to even think about getting romantically involved.
Are you listening young people?
Before you even think about going on a date or think about getting emotionally or romantically
involved with someone, first thing, don't go to your heart.
First thing, go to your brain for a minute and figure out, is this person even eligible?
Number one, are they saved?
And then ask yourself a few other questions about them and also figure out, hey, has this
person already been married before?
These are good things to check on and ask yourself.
But once you figure out, okay, this person's single, this person's available, this person's
a Christian, this person loves the Lord, okay, then you spend time with that person and see
if there's something there.
You see if there's chemistry there.
You see if your heart burns within you, right?
But you don't even check for the burning in the bosom if they're not saved.
You don't even want to get close to that person.
You don't even want to entertain that thought if they're not even saved.
Get them saved and then we'll talk.
But I'm telling you, there are people out there who go to this other extreme.
There's a book out there, "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" and it's just everything's about,
you just got to just, it's all just a checklist.
And I've met people like this and they wonder why they can't get any girls to go out with
them or marry them.
They go on the first date and it's like a checklist.
I'm looking for somebody who plays the piano, who's saved, who wants to be a pastor's wife.
You want to have an unlimited number of kids, you want to have ten plus kids, right?
Okay, this is how you're going to dress, this is how you're going to act, this is what you're
going to do.
And it's like, if you meet all this criteria, then you're the one for me.
That doesn't feel very loving.
That's not very romantic.
And then they wonder why that's the first and only date, okay?
So you don't want to go to the opposite extreme.
Now think about once you're married, okay?
Because obviously you don't want to fully commit yourself to someone or even commit your
heart to someone until you're married.
Because until you're married, it's not a done deal.
You might think it's not going to end, but it might end.
"Oh no, I'll never break up with this.
You might."
Oh, thou fifteen-year-old, sixteen-year-old, seventeen-year-old.
You don't know if it's going to end.
So you don't fully get invested.
You don't fully give your heart to someone until you're married.
Then once you get married, then you fully give your heart to that person.
And that's when you're locked in and it's still death due as part.
OK, but once you're married, shouldn't your heart burn within you?
Doesn't our heart burn within us for love for our wife or love for your husband?
It ought to.
Our heart ought to burn within us.
And so we don't want to throw out emotion completely.
Emotion has its place.
And not only does emotion have its place in our marriage, and not only does emotion have
its place in choosing a spouse, and not only does emotion have a place in our religion
and in our walk with God, it doesn't just have a place, it's absolutely essential.
It's essential.
If you don't love the Lord your God with all your heart, you're not going to keep the commandments.
If you don't love the Lord with all your heart, you're not going to keep serving Him.
If you don't love the Lord your God with all your heart, He's not pleased with you because
that's the first commandment.
That's the most important commandment.
That's the great commandment.
And you know what?
I don't care how good of a provider you are.
I don't care how good of a husband you are in the sense that you provide and you are
nice to your wife and you give her what she wants, you give her what she needs.
You know what?
If you don't love your wife and if your heart doesn't burn within you, she's not going to
be happy and you're not doing everything you need to do as a husband.
Even if on paper you are.
Hey, I'm paying the bills.
You know, I'm going to work.
I'm opening the door for you.
I'm being polite.
I gave you a birthday present.
I remember your anniversary.
But hold on.
Did your heart burn within you?
Or, same thing to the wife.
I cook and I clean and take care of the kids and everything.
Yeah, but did your heart burn within you?
You better have love for your husband.
You better have love for your wife.
Why?
It's not just part of it.
It's essential.
And God wants us to love him.
And not just this love that's only reduced to just actions.
Because we hear, hey, love is a verb, and love's an action.
Great, I'm for all that.
But don't forget what love actually is, too.
A feeling, an emotion, a feeling.
Don't just discard that.
Don't throw that out.
I mean, look, if you don't know what I'm talking about this morning and you're married, I feel
sorry for you.
And I feel sorry for your spouse.
If you don't know what it's like to have a loving relationship.
And look, maybe your spouse is cold.
Maybe you need to take the step to being a little warmer and to loving with all your heart
and with all your soul.
And that your heart would burn within you and that hopefully your spouse's heart would burn
within them.
But you know what?
Does your heart burn within you at church?
Does your heart burn within you when you read the Bible?
Because you know what?
If your heart never burns within you when you read the Bible, you're probably not going
to read it that much.
And if your heart doesn't burn within you about your wife, you're probably not going
to want to spend a lot of time with her.
You're probably not going to spend a lot of time with him if it's your husband.
And it's probably not going to be that convincing when you do because people can see through
you, especially people that you live with.
And if your heart doesn't burn within you, you'll get out of church.
You'll quit reading the Bible.
You'll quit soul winning.
Why?
The love of Christ constraineth us to do the works that we do.
How do we get back to the first works?
We get back to the first love.
And so there's got to be love in our marriage and love in our church.
And yes, that love is manifested by action.
And you know what?
If we don't feel the love, sometimes we can do the actions and then the love will come.
You know, we do the first works and that's how we get back to the first love.
Amen?
I'm not saying, "Hey, don't do nice things for your spouse unless you feel it."
No, no, no.
Do nice things for your spouse until you feel it, but you better start feeling it at some
point.
Yeah.
You've got to.
You must.
Well, I don't know how.