of our sins and rising again, we pray in Jesus' name, amen.
Amen.
So tonight, I'm continuing where I left off this morning
on the life of Absalom.
And just a super fast recap from this morning, of course,
Absalom's sister was a victim of this violent attack
by his half brother, right?
And so Absalom got very angry and bitter and hateful.
And he eventually took things into his own hands
after two years.
And he ended up just killing Amnon.
And then he has to flee the country.
He has to basically flee justice because he
acted as a vigilante and took things into his own hand.
And one of the main things that I pointed out this morning
was the fact that Absalom starts out as a very good guy.
He's a kind person.
He's angry, but he has a righteous indignation.
But still, that does not give him the right
to take vengeance into his own hands and to just kill Amnon.
That's what he did.
But even up to that point, you can still
sympathize with Absalom.
You can see why he did what he did.
But we're going to start to see tonight,
as we go through this, depending on how far we get,
just this dark path that he goes down.
Because make no mistake about it,
Absalom, although he started out as a good guy,
becomes a truly horrible person by the time this is over.
Extremely wicked.
He does perverted things.
He does very ungodly things that themselves are worthy of death.
And so we don't want to go down this road
that Absalom went down.
And that's why this morning I talked a lot about how
we can't let anger and hatred and bitterness fester
within us.
We need to let things go and not meditate
upon these very negative things.
People are going to wrong us.
People are going to let us down.
There are all kinds of injustices in this world.
You're not going to change it.
You're not going to fix Arizona, America, or this world.
You need to just serve God and realize that one day,
he will fix everything.
But don't try to be God.
Trust in God and let him do it.
Don't play God, all right?
So again, in chapter 13, we didn't really
get to it this morning.
But he ends up with his servants killing Amnon.
And as a result, he flees justice into another country.
Now, let's go down to the end of chapter 13.
It says in verse 37, but Absalom fled and went to Talmai,
the son of Amahud, king of Geshur.
And David mourned for his son every day.
So Absalom fled and went to Geshur
and was there three years.
And the soul of King David longed
to go forth unto Absalom, for he was comforted concerning Amnon,
seeing he was dead.
So David is sad about Amnon dying, but he gets over it.
He's sad about Absalom fleeing and going to another country.
He feels bad for him.
Part of David wants to go to Absalom
and have a relationship with him.
But it's obviously a weird situation.
It's awkward because of the fact
that he has murdered his brother.
So look at chapter 14, verse 1.
It says, now Joab, the son of Zeruiah,
perceived that the king's heart was toward Absalom.
And Joab sent to Tekoa and fetched thence a wise woman.
And on and on, we already just read this whole thing.
I'm not going to rehash all that.
But basically, he goes through this ploy
where he sends this woman to try to talk to David
and soften him up so that he'll bring Absalom back.
Because he's fled into another country,
basically let him know, hey, it's OK to come home.
We're going to drop the charges.
There's no warrant for your arrest.
Go ahead and come home.
So Joab is going to bat for Absalom.
Apparently, Joab loved Absalom and cared about Absalom.
So he actually goes to bat for him
and works this out to bring him back to his home country.
So Joab is very helpful to Absalom, am I right?
OK, so he's brought back.
But when he is brought back, though, King David says,
I don't want to see him.
OK, so it says in verse 28,
so Absalom dwelt two full years in Jerusalem
and saw not the king's face.
OK, because look what the Bible says in verse 21.
The king said unto Joab, behold now, I've done this thing.
Go therefore, bring the young man Absalom again.
And Joab fell to the ground on his face
and bowed himself and thanked the king.
And Joab said, today thy servant knoweth
that I have found grace in thy sight, my Lord, O King,
and that the king had fulfilled the request of his servant.
So here's Joab like, oh man, this is so great.
Thank you so much.
Isn't this great that Absalom's coming home?
So Joab, verse 23, arose and went to Geshur
and brought Absalom to Jerusalem.
And the king said, let him turn to his own house,
let him not see my face.
So Absalom returned to his own house
and saw not the king's face.
So Absalom comes back.
David's gonna forgive him.
David's gonna drop the criminal charges.
But he just says, I don't want to see him.
You know, the relationship is still damaged
and so he doesn't want to see him.
He doesn't want anything to do with him.
But he allows him to come back.
And then it kind of gives us a little information
about Absalom's life, how he comes back
and he's got three sons, he's got a daughter,
and he's got really long, pretty hair,
and everything like that.
And he's a really good looking guy
and all of these different things about Absalom.
You know, this is where Absalom needs
to just let it go, doesn't he?
He needs to just let it go.
Look, he already did wrong by carrying out
this vigilante justice and killing Amnon.
But you can kind of at least see where he was coming from
on that because Amnon was this horrible rapist or whatever.
But now, at this point, he needs to just move on
with his life and let it go and just move forward.
But no, he's not going to.
It's going to get worse and worse and worse.
Because here's the thing about taking revenge
is that it's not satisfying, right?
You would think that getting revenge on your enemies,
people who've done wrong to you or hurt you,
that somehow getting that revenge would satisfy you
and make you feel good and then you'll be happy.
But let me ask you this, is Absalom satisfied?
I mean, the guy who did him wrong is dead.
It's over.
But yet Absalom is still not satisfied
because he's still mad at Dad.
You know, because Dad didn't handle it properly
and King David didn't punish Absalom
and it isn't fair that I had to go into exile.
And he starts to see himself as a victim.
And let me tell you something.
When you go through life seeing yourself as a victim,
that is a really dangerous place for you to be.
And when a group of people
starts to see themselves as victims,
they can become a very dangerous group of people.
Now, let me just show you first of all,
the first thing that Absalom does
as a result of feeling sorry for himself,
seeing himself as a victim.
It's going to get way worse.
It's going to end in tons of people being killed
and all kinds of horrible things happening.
But look at the first thing that happens.
It says in verse 28,
so Absalom dwelt two full years in Jerusalem
and sawn out the king's face.
Therefore Absalom sent for Joab
to have sent him to the king but he would not come to him.
And then when he sent the second time he would not come.
So now Joab's just not returning his calls.
Joab's just kind of leaving him on delivered
with the text messages and just not getting back to him.
And so it says in verse 30
that he said unto his servants,
see Joab's field is near mine
and he hath barley there.
Go and set it on fire.
Now stop and think about this for a minute.
Joab is the guy who went to bat for him,
who loved him, who's so excited about him coming home,
brings him home and has never done anything
to harm him or hurt him
except that he just ignored some phone calls,
he ignored some text messages,
he didn't get back to him right away or whatever.
And lo and behold, Absalom feels justified
in setting Joab's barley field on fire,
just burning his stuff.
I mean, and who knows?
You know, when you start setting a fire,
you don't know where that fire's gonna go.
This is a reckless, horrible thing to do
which is why even today arson carries such high penalties
because when you start lighting things on fire,
you don't know that could burn down houses
and people could die
and you don't know what kind of carnage you're gonna cause
when you start lighting fields on fire.
And so he does this horrible act,
harming someone that had been nothing but nice to him.
Why?
Because he sees himself as a victim.
Is he a victim of Joab?
No, but people who see themselves as victims,
they'll start feeling justified in just hurting anyone
and just lashing out at anyone.
You know, a great example of this is the phenomenon
in our world that we know as terrorism.
Now, if you stop and think about this phenomenon
of terrorism, what it involves is people
who have some kind of a political goal
and they go out and they intentionally target civilians
and murder civilians in order to achieve their goals.
And typically, these people have some kind of a reason
why they see themselves as a victim.
And maybe they are legitimately a group
that has been victimized,
but because they have this victim's mentality,
they become very dangerous and they feel justified
in just killing men, women, and children,
just innocent people.
You see, terrorism is not about carrying out
like a guerrilla warfare against a government,
going after military targets, asymmetric warfare
of just, you know, attacking a military installation.
You know, like for example,
in the American Revolution or something,
you know, that started out with a few, you know,
guerrilla actions and places.
The difference is that terrorism literally targets
and purposely kills innocent bystanders
just in order to get their message out,
in order to just terrorize people into compliance.
And by the way, in the history of this world,
no terrorist act has ever led
to any government being overthrown
or any actual change in the political status quo.
It never works, but yet people do it over and over again.
There have been all kinds of terrorist attacks
and, you know, planes that have been hijacked.
I'm not talking about 9-11 now, all right.
But you know, planes that have been hijacked
or just bombs that have been set off
in places like, you know, just train stations
or just buildings blown up or whatever.
And it's so evil and so wicked to just kill random people,
just a suicide bomber or something,
just blowing himself up, blowing up everyone around him
because he sees himself as a victim.
So I wanna be careful though,
we don't get this bitterness
that we talked about this morning
where you're just not letting things go.
And look, even if you've been legitimately wronged,
let it go, right.
I'm not gonna re-preach this morning's sermon.
But terrorist activity is a perfect example of this,
of just lashing out at anyone.
And you just feel justified because you're a victim.
So Absalom here just starts lashing out
and even hurting people that love him
and that have been nothing but nice to him
by just burning down their field.
And who cares who gets hurt in the process?
And let me tell you something.
When you become backslidden or go into sin
or get away from the Lord
and you start living in the flesh
and living a sinful life,
let me tell you something,
you are going to harm the people around you
and it's not gonna matter to you
because people who are living a sinful life
are inherently selfish people, okay.
And selfish people, they only think about themselves.
Now stop and think about it.
The Bible tells us that love is the fulfillment of the law.
Right, and the Bible says,
love thy neighbor as thyself and it says for this,
thou shall not kill, thou shall not commit adultery,
thou shall not steal, thou shall not bear false witness,
thou shall not covet.
It's all briefly comprehended in this saying,
thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.
Love worketh no ill to his neighbor,
therefore love is the fulfilling of the law, right.
So if we love our neighbor,
we're gonna be following God's commandments.
If we're following God's commandments,
we're loving our neighbor by doing so.
These two things are connected.
Wicked people who disregard God's laws,
who disregard right and wrong for whatever reason,
maybe they see themselves as a victim
or however they feel justified,
you know, they just start lashing out and hurting people
and they don't care who they hurt in the process
and they don't even necessarily think about
the people that they're hurting.
You know, I think about some of the people
who've gotten disgruntled with our church
or angry at our church or just wanted to persecute our church
because they didn't like what I preached.
They didn't like what I said.
Then they feel justified in attacking our church
and some of the things that they've done
to attack our church, you know,
they just end up harming innocent people.
Like for example, enemies of our church
would constantly, you know, order pizzas
and have them just delivered to our church,
like 10 pizzas and have them sent over here.
You know, if you think about it,
you're really harming the pizza company when you do that
because if they show up and we're not here,
we don't pay for the pizza, you know,
it's really no skin off our back.
You know, we might even enjoy the pizza
when it shows up or whatever,
but if it shows up and nobody's here to get it,
nobody's here to pay for it,
then at that point, they're just hurting the pizza guy.
He's not gonna get a tip.
He's not gonna get paid.
You know, the company's not getting paid.
Or for example, there would be people who hated us
that would just list all of these free items on Craigslist
saying, hey, there's this free fish tank,
free this, free that, and put our home address on all that.
So we just have this parade of people coming to our home.
Hey, I'm here to pick up the fish tank.
Hey, I'm here to pick up the chinchilla or whatever.
They're just showing up to pick up
all of these goods and items
and we have to tell these people,
sorry, we didn't list anything like that.
We don't have a fish tank.
We don't have any of these things.
And some of these people were like at the point of tears.
Like, I just drove an hour each way to pick this stuff up
that you would list.
I didn't list that.
But do you think that these wicked people
who are just mad at our church,
do you think they stopped to think about
all the people that they're inconveniencing and hurting?
And really, it wasn't even a big deal for me
to just go to the door and say,
sorry, this stuff isn't here.
But some people drove for two hours.
They don't care about that.
You know, or what about a couple months ago
when they called the police and they swatted us.
You know, I learned a new word.
We were swatted at our house twice.
You know, the cops showed up with guns drawn,
pointing guns at my children.
You know, telling my 13 year old daughter,
put your hands in the air, you know,
and come out with your hands up.
And she's like, I'm a kid.
And they're like, we don't care.
You know, you better put your hands up or we'll shoot.
You know, and it's like, thankfully nobody got hurt.
Nobody was shot.
But think about how many ways that could have gone wrong
and how many people could have gotten hurt besides me.
You know, first of all, my wife, my children,
what about just the neighbors?
What about just somebody who happened to be walking by
in the wrong place at the wrong time?
You know, when the police are called out
for those kind of calls, where they've got the helicopter
and the rifles drawn and everything,
you know, you can find stories where they accidentally
go to the wrong house or somebody's in the wrong place
at the wrong time and they end up
accidentally shooting innocent people
in some of those situations.
Think about how dangerous that is
to just unleash this police force with all these guns
and all these weapons and you know, they're scared
and they don't know what they're gonna face
because they've gotten this prank call.
I mean, I wonder if they thought about that
and all of the potential ways
that that could have gone wrong.
Thankfully, everybody was okay.
You know, they did that to me twice.
You know, at least now to the point
where the police, you know, they kind of know who we are.
My wife asked me, you know,
well, what'd they call in this time?
And the guy's just like, the usual.
It was the usual, you know.
So the bottom line is, you know,
people who go down this path of getting bitter
and disgruntled and upset and just vindictive,
they end up just hurting whoever, okay?
You know, the Bible says,
lest there be any root of bitterness
springing up trouble you and thereby many be defiled.
You know, it can harm a lot of people.
And so Absalom lights his field on fire
and Joab's like, why did you set my barley field on fire?
He's like, well, cause you don't answer my calls.
This is the only way that I can get through to you.
You know, if you'd pick up the phone,
I wouldn't have to commit arson.
You know, why'd you bring me back anyway, huh?
It would have been better for me to just stay in exile.
Why'd you bring me back if I can't even go see King David?
Look, just forget about it.
If dad doesn't want to see you, walk away.
Live your life, be happy.
You've got your three sons, you've got your daughter,
you got your long hair to comb in the mirror
or whatever you want to do with it, let it go.
But again, he just can't let it go.
He just has to go see dad.
So here's another lesson that we can pull from the story
is that, you know, if people don't want to have
a relationship with you, walk away.
If someone doesn't want to have a relationship with you,
you just walk away.
This world is filled with wonderful people
that can be your friends and, you know,
there's a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
So, you know, you have a certain sibling or whatever
that wants nothing to do with you.
You have relatives that want nothing to do with you.
You know, God forbid, but maybe even your parents
don't want anything to do with you
or your children don't want anything to do with you.
You know what, then basically just walk away
and spend time with someone who does want to be your friend.
But you know what I've noticed about some of these wicked,
vindictive people is that they demand
that certain people be friends with them.
And I've dealt with this so many times as a pastor
where these people come to me and they always turn out
to be a wicked person.
They always end up being some horrible person in the end
and doing horrible things.
But I've literally had people come to me as a pastor
and say, well, this other family in the church
used to be friends with us and now they don't want
to be our friends anymore.
They used to have us over for dinner.
Now they don't have us over anymore.
They used to let their kids play with our kids.
Now they don't want their kids playing with our kids.
What's going on?
You know, you need to tell them
that they need to be our friends and that they need to,
and I always tell these people, no, I'm not going to.
If they don't want to be your friend, that's their choice.
That's their prerogative.
Nobody has to be friends with anybody in this church.
There are hundreds of people in this church
and you just need to just find other friends.
And here's the thing, any normal person,
when someone doesn't want to be their friend,
they don't want to be around that person anyway.
Why would a normal person want to hang out with people
that don't like you?
If someone didn't like me and say like,
I don't want to be around you, Pastor Anderson.
I don't like you.
I'd be like, okay, thank you for your honesty.
And I would just walk away.
I wouldn't just be like, no, you're going to be my friend.
Oh, we're going to be friends.
I can be your best friend or I can be your worst enemy.
You know, that's weird.
That's sick because normal people,
and by the way, normal people,
you don't even have to tell normal people,
I don't want to be your friend.
They usually just get the hint.
Like when they're inviting you over
and you keep being busy and you're like, oh, sorry,
you know, or like Joab, you know,
maybe they just don't text you back.
They just kind of leave you on delivered.
Okay, hey, get the hint.
Maybe they just don't want to hang out.
You know, if they keep being busy
and they keep having other engagements,
you don't just be like,
oh, you can't come to dinner on Monday?
How about Tuesday?
No, you know, we're pretty busy this week.
What about next week?
Yeah, I just don't know if we're going to do it.
Well, you know what, you pick the date, buddy,
because you're coming over.
That's not normal.
Okay, and I'm telling you,
I've had people literally come to me
and want me as the pastor to go like reprimand people
for not wanting to be friends with them.
And I always tell them, no, no, no,
no one has to be friends with anybody in this church.
Now I will say this, you know,
if people go to our church
and you have some kind of an issue with them
or you don't like them for whatever reason,
you know what, you still are required
to be polite and civil with them.
Endeavoring to keep the unity
and the spirit of the bond of peace.
You know, we want to have unity,
we want to have peace,
we don't want to create a scene.
So somebody comes to you and goes to shake your hand.
You know, you don't want it to be like Obama
where those Russian officials just wouldn't shake his hand.
And he's just kind of like,
and they're just kind of like, you know.
You know, when they go to shake your hand,
you don't go like this, you know.
Obviously, it's not gonna hurt you to say hi to them.
Just be civil, not make a scene,
don't make it weird, okay.
But you don't have to get together and hang out with them.
They don't have to be your friend, you know.
That's the difference.
You are required to treat everyone with civility,
courtesy, and be friendly,
but you're not required to be buddies
or friends with anyone
that you don't want to be friends with.
And so when people want to force themselves on you,
this is usually a bad time.
Whenever anyone wants to force themselves on you,
that's a scary thing, okay.
And that's what we see here with Absalom.
He's forcing himself on David,
even though David really doesn't want
to have a relationship with him at this time.
So go to chapter 15.
You know, he finally forces his way in with David.
David kisses him and okay,
he's had his little meeting with David.
That still doesn't satisfy him.
This guy's never gonna be satisfied.
So look what he starts to do in verse one of chapter 15.
It came to pass after this that Absalom prepared him
chariots and horses and 50 men to run before him.
And Absalom rose up early
and stood beside the way of the gate.
And it was so that when any man that had a controversy
came to the king for judgment,
then Absalom called unto him and said,
of what city art thou?
And he said, thy servant is of one of the tribes of Israel.
And Absalom said unto him,
see thy matters are good and right,
but there's no man deputed of the king to hear thee.
Now notice, it says that when any man
that had a controversy comes, this is what Absalom does.
He tells them, hey, your matters are good and right.
Now here's the thing about controversy.
Controversy involves two people
that don't agree with one another.
Am I right?
These two people have an opinion that doesn't match
and they're going to the king for judgment
so that we can figure out who's right and who's wrong.
And they can't both be right.
That's why they're going to court in the first place.
But yet Absalom, whoever he talks to,
he's just on their side.
He never tells anybody you're being a bozo,
it's the other guy who's right.
But yet just logically, 50% of these people
have to be wrong at a minimum, maybe more.
Because in some situations, both parties are wrong.
But he is, what does he do?
He's flattering.
Flattery is another sign of a wicked, dangerous person.
The person who flatters you is setting a trap for you,
according to the book of Proverbs.
And so we gotta beware of flattery.
What is flattery?
Flattery is an unreasonable praise
or an over-the-top praise or a praise
that doesn't make any sense or is inappropriate.
Now obviously people give us compliments
and there's nothing wrong with giving or receiving
compliments or thanking someone for something
or blessing someone.
But flattery is these over-the-top compliments
and praise that is out of the norm, okay?
You know, basically if you're ugly
and people are telling you how good looking you are,
they're flattering you, okay?
That's flattery.
But honestly, this is something that I've seen a lot of
over the years pastoring.
And you know, early in my ministry,
I wasn't very good at recognizing this.
Because when you're young, you don't have a lot
of experience, you know, you just assume,
hey, these people really like me.
Or hey, you know, these people are just being really nice
or whatever.
But you get this over-the-top praise
and now I'm to the point where I can spot it a mile away.
You know, I mean, I've had people come up to me
that I didn't even know,
that it was the first time meeting them.
And they're like, Pastor Anderson, you're like my dad to me.
And I'm just like, no, I'm not, okay?
I never knew you, depart from me.
You know what I mean?
I'm just like, what in the world?
You know, this kind of over-the-top praise
where you have people that will, for example,
worship celebrities, but then sometimes they'll take
that same mentality and bring it to church
and be like worshiping pastors and just praising them.
You know, or what about this?
You know, hey, I love to listen to preaching.
You love to listen to preaching.
You know, Bible preaching is something that we all enjoy,
hopefully, amen.
And we'll sometimes even, not only do we come to church,
but we even go online and we'll go on YouTube
and listen to other pastors and we'll listen
to preaching online just as a supplement.
I remember back when I was in my early 20s,
just going to work every day and putting in my headphones
and just listening to hours and hours of preaching
while I was working and just enjoying it, right?
And enjoying preaching.
But you know, sometimes there's a guy out there
that is the biggest flatterer I've ever seen, okay?
There's this guy on YouTube and Facebook and everything,
and this guy is the most over-the-top flatterer
because he'll post sermon clips from a certain preacher
and these clips are not great clips.
It's not even like, usually, you know,
you'd post a short clip of a sermon
because it's like the best part of the sermon
or a really great point was made.
He'll post us these kind of nothing burger clips
from a certain pastor and just act like
they're just the coolest thing in the world
and just act like, this guy's so great.
He's the greatest preacher ever.
And it's just so, and it's like, look,
I'm glad you like the preaching,
but it was like, it's over the top
and it doesn't make any sense sometimes
because some of the clips aren't even that good.
Like some of the, and look, all of us as preachers,
sometimes we preach sermons that are good
and sometimes we preach sermons that aren't that good.
You know, on the road trip, you know,
there were a couple of sermons that I preached
where it wasn't my best work.
And then sometimes even in a good sermon,
there'll be some parts of that sermon
that aren't really the best part of the sermon.
It's not really my best work.
You know, and when people are just praising over the top,
oh, so wonderful, it's so great.
It's like, wait a minute, come on, let's get real.
You know, if they tell you Michael Johnson's
a great preacher, you know they're flattering.
Okay, let me just throw that out there.
Okay, I mean, that's scary.
That's, now I've never seen anyone claim that.
For the record, I've never seen anyone claim that.
But if they did, that would be like
the most extreme flattery.
If they said he was dynamic or a good preacher
or entertaining to listen to.
What's that?
Yeah, exactly, seriously.
So the point is though, we gotta beware of flattery.
You know, a lot of times the adulterous
will hunt the precious life and she'll flatter a young man
and make him feel good about himself,
about how handsome he is and how strong he is
and what a great listener he is
and how he's so much better than her husband or whatever.
You know, you gotta beware, especially of those
kind of inappropriate compliments coming at you
from the opposite gender as well.
And so this flattery is coming from Absalom
where he tells them, oh, your matters are good and right.
It doesn't matter who they are.
He says that to everybody.
He tells that to all the girls, right?
And then it says, but there's no man
deputed of the king to hear thee.
So it sounds real innocent,
but he's actually criticizing his dad.
He's talking smack about his dad.
He's talking smack about the kingdom of Israel,
like, oh, sorry, but there's just nobody to help you
because, you know, King David's just too busy.
He's too busy for you.
He's not here for you.
He can't help you.
And Absalom said, moreover, oh,
that I were made judge in the land,
that every man which hath any suit or cause
might come unto me and I would do him justice.
So what is he doing?
He's planting the seeds that he would be a better king
than David.
First he flatters them, not because he actually likes them
or thinks that they're cool or thinks that they're right,
but he pretends to like them because he wants to use them.
And that's what flatterers do.
They want to get close to you.
They want to get an advantage somehow.
They're called also sycophants, right?
Flatterers, sycophants.
And so he tells them, you know, well, if I were king,
you know, I would have time for you.
I would have time to listen to you and take care of you,
you know, and so forth.
And then look at the next thing.
And it was so that when any man came nigh to him
to do him obeisance,
so what does it mean to do him obeisance?
Basically people are coming to kneel before him
because he's the king's son.
So he's high ranking.
So they're basically deferring to him
and showing him respect.
But what he would do is whenever they would come near to him
to do obeisance,
that he would actually put forth his hand
and take him and kiss him, okay?
So he would basically,
instead of letting these people basically do him obeisance,
maybe get on a knee or kiss his hand
or just show respect to him as someone who's superior,
he would instead come to them and kiss them,
which would be the type of greeting
that would happen among equals, okay?
So obviously we don't necessarily fully comprehend this
in our culture because our culture is a little different.
That's not really how we greet each other as men.
Thank God.
But anyway, in a lot of cultures, this is what they would do.
But you'd walk up and kiss each other on the cheek as men
because you're basically on the same level
and then people that are of a lower status,
they might do some kind of obeisance or whatever.
So what's he doing?
He's trying to make these people
feel really good about themselves by acting super humble.
He's pretending to be super humble
even while he's trying to exalt himself
and lift himself up and overthrow his own dad
and overthrow the king.
Does everybody see what he's doing?
So he's flattering them, making them feel good
and acting super humble and acting like he loves them so much
and respects them so much.
Come here, let me give you a big hug.
Let me give you a big kiss.
You know, man, I feel so bad for you.
It's too bad this kingdom has run the way it is
because if I were king, it'd be different.
So he just does this for years
and he's playing the long game
and he's just for years and years
just planting these seeds in people's minds
and just ingratiating himself with people
so that down the road, he can plot this rebellion
and that he can do this wickedness
of eventually seeking to even kill his own father
which is obviously incredibly wicked in the eyes of God.
And so he does this in verse six.
It says, on this manner did Absalom to all Israel
that came to the king for judgment.
So Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel.
And folks, these are the same type of tactics
that you see today where someone will try to
replace your parents in your life
or someone will try to replace your pastor or whatever
by coming at you with this mentality of like,
well, let me fill that role in your life.
You know, oh, he's too busy.
And here's the thing about being the king of Israel.
I'm sure David's a very busy guy.
I don't think David was lazy whatsoever.
I think he's a hard worker,
but it's just that there's just too many people
for him to see everybody.
Stop and think about it.
You know, hundreds of thousands of people,
David's not gonna be able to have a personal relationship
with all of them, is he?
And look, even me, I'm the pastor of a church
with about 400 people in it.
And so I'm not necessarily gonna have a close relationship
with all 400 people in our church.
It just doesn't make any sense.
If I were to spend, for example, at each service,
if I were to spend one minute with each of the six,
that's not even a lot of time, is it?
One minute?
But if I spent one minute with each church member,
let's say on a Sunday morning,
typically about 300 people will show up,
maybe 350 on a good day.
So, you know, somewhere in that neighborhood,
if I were to spend one minute with 300 people
every Sunday morning,
and that's giving people the bum's rush.
Just one minute, just boom, you know.
You know what, that would take me five hours
just to fellowship.
Just to go around and spend one minute with each person
would take five hours.
Do the math, 300 minutes, it's five hours.
Oh, and then Sunday night rolls around,
another 200, 250 people show up.
All right, let's go, right?
Another three hours, three and a half hours, let's do it.
It's just not realistic, is it?
And so therefore, you know, you can't expect me
as the pastor to be your buddy, necessarily,
because it's just not realistic, it's just,
and by the way, the office of the bishop
is not the office of buddy.
The Bible doesn't say he that desireth
the office of a buddy desireth the good work.
The buddy then must be blameless.
That's not what it says.
You know, my function up here, my job is to be the pastor,
not necessarily to be everybody's buddy.
Now, here's the great thing about this, though,
is that, you know, there are all these other buddies for you
It's called the rest of the church, right?
I mean, it's called hundreds of great people here
for you to be friends with.
And ultimately, you know, yeah, I'm gonna be buddies
with certain people just because maybe there's certain people
that I might have something in common with
or click with or whatever.
But the point is, though, you know,
we're all gonna have our different friends in the church
and none of us could really realistically be friends
with everybody in a church this size.
It's just not realistic.
And so normal people will just, you know,
seek out friends within the church.
And sometimes I will have one of my deputies
help you out with the need that you have
simply because I'm not gonna do everything myself
as the pastor.
That's why we have staff.
That's why we have Deacon Corbin Russell.
That's why we have Brother Chris Segura.
That's why we have Brother Raymond Cooper.
And we have different people to help you out
in different situations.
And frankly, these guys are good at what they do.
And in fact, I'll take it a step further,
sometimes these guys could even do a better job
than what I would do.
Sometimes, don't nod your head at that, honey.
Why is my wife nodding her head at that?
No, I'm just kidding.
But anyway, the point is that, you know,
sometimes in a certain situation,
they might have a better bedside manner than I do
or they just might have a better skill
at dealing with certain kinds of people
in certain kinds of situations.
And so I will often delegate things to other staff members.
And here's the great thing about our church
is that we have great staff members to help you out.
And even, forget the staff,
even just we have other people in the church
that could probably answer a lot of your questions
because we have such a knowledgeable church body here.
I mean, most of the people in our church
know the Bible pretty well
and have a lot of answers to a lot of questions.
And so, yeah, there could be harder things.
And sometimes my staff will come to me and say,
hey, this is a really hard question,
this is a hard situation,
and they'll come to me with that.
But if it's something simple, if it's something easy,
a lot of times they'll just deal with it themselves.
And I don't even always need to hear about it
if it's something basic, if it's something simple,
if it's something easy.
And frankly, I don't wanna hear about everything
because here's the thing about negative things
in people's lives.
You know, maybe I just don't even wanna necessarily hear
every negative thing unless I need to.
If I need to hear something negative
so I can deal with it, then yeah,
go ahead and let me know and I'll deal with it.
But you know what?
Sometimes ignorance is bliss.
And I don't necessarily wanna know every negative thing
about the lives of every church member.
Right, because I just wanna look at people
and just like them and think that they're great.
And I don't necessarily need to see everybody's
dirty laundry, as it were.
Now look, like I said, if I need to deal with something,
I'll be glad to help out.
And plus, I'm super good at forgetting about stuff later.
So like a year later, I won't remember any of it anyway,
so have no fear about that.
But the point is that expecting the pastor
or any other leader to do everything himself personally
is unrealistic and unbiblical.
You know, Moses tried to do everything himself,
leading the children of Israel,
and his father-in-law had to take him aside and say,
hey, you're doing too much.
You need to delegate stuff to other people.
People have problems, people have questions.
You know, let them come to these other guys
that you delegate.
But a lot of people are like,
no, I need to see Pastor Anderson, no.
And we'll even have people calling us on the phone
every week, I need to talk to Pastor Anderson.
People that we don't even know from all over the world.
Like, I need to talk to Pastor Anderson.
It's like, sorry, Pastor Anderson's not gonna call you back.
And they'll even say like, well, you know,
I'm willing to wait, I'll make an appointment or whatever.
And people have to tell them,
you're gonna be waiting until Jesus comes
because Pastor Anderson will not call people back
that he doesn't know.
He doesn't just call people back that leave a message.
He's not going.
Or people will sometimes come to me
and they wanna make appointments with me about nothing.
Literally about nothing.
I mean, I've had people come to me,
hey, you know, I need to make an appointment with you,
Pastor Anderson, I need to talk to you, this and that.
I've literally like arranged a date
and a time with this person.
And said, okay, let's go, we'll meet at such and such.
Sometimes I've met people at a restaurant,
sometimes I've met people right here at the church building.
And I've literally got together with people
and sat and talked with them
and they had nothing to talk about.
And there was no issue, they're just like,
oh, I just wanted to just, you know,
spend some time with you.
And I'm just like, well, that's sweet, but guess what?
I'm not really looking for a new friend
in my life right now.
You know, what in the world?
You know what I mean?
It's like, I'm trying to do my job here.
And you're just like, well, I just wanna have
a personal relationship with Pastor Anderson.
No, you get, look, have a personal relationship with Jesus,
but you don't need a personal relationship
with Pastor Anderson necessarily.
And look, there are a lot of people at church
that I do have a personal relationship with,
but you know, it's usually not the people
that are like seeking, that are like,
oh, I moved across the country
to have a personal relationship with you.
It's like, ah, you know, that's scary.
There are people who move here and their biggest goal
is to have a personal relationship with my wife.
And here's the thing about my wife,
my wife has 12 children.
She has a lot of buddies in her life, okay?
And honestly, there have been people
who've literally moved out here
and then they get super disappointed
because they couldn't get close to me personally
or my wife personally.
Folks, they're in church for the wrong reason.
Folks, you're supposed to be here for God.
You're supposed to be here for the word of God.
You're supposed to be here for, you know, the church
and being a part of the team and serving God,
not a cult of personality where you just wanna get close
to Pastor Anderson and Pastor Anderson.
That's weird, it's crazy.
And you get these kind of stalkers people
and it's truly bizarre.
I kid you not, and by the way, people get super angry
because I didn't get back to them in time
or when they burned my barley field or whatever.
I kid you not, one time somebody sent me a $10 gift card.
Okay, which hey, if somebody gives me a $10 gift card,
that's great, I really appreciate that, thank you.
But here's the thing about that,
this person gave me a $10 gift card.
They sent it in the mail or something, okay?
And look, I'm a busy guy, okay?
And I'm not necessarily constantly checking my email,
constantly checking messages and things.
A lot of times I unplug from that stuff
because I'm spending time in the word of God.
I'm spending time preaching or soul winning
or studying or whatever.
I'm dealing with other people's issues
and I don't always, I always just tell people,
if you really have an emergency,
you need to hang up and call 911.
Because that's the emergency number.
But I kid you not, this person sent me a gift card for $10
and then a few days later, they're emailing the church,
hey, did you get this gift card?
Did you receive this gift card?
I didn't hear anything.
Couple days later, hey, did you get this gift?
And here's the thing,
I didn't check the email during this time.
This is before I had staff constantly checking it for me.
So like, by the time I got to the email,
I just see all the emails.
I got them all at once.
Hey, did you get that?
And then I get to the last email, F you!
Now, I can tell that that gift card was really given
out of a loving heart for me.
So I was like, hey, you never said thanks.
Did you even receive it?
You know, what's going on with this gift card?
I gave you this gift card.
What's going on?
Bleep you, buddy.
Why?
And they're cursing me in the final email.
It's like, take your stupid $10 gift card and shove it.
And I literally, I told that story to someone
and they literally sympathized with the person.
Like, well, I mean, if you get a gift card,
you do have to say, it's like, shut, no, shut up.
No, because here's the thing about giving gifts, okay?
Gifts are supposed to be given with no strings attached.
If I give a gift to you,
it's not so I can keep bringing it up
and hanging it over your head.
And because I want something in return,
or I want all these praise and thank yous and accolades.
And hey, saying thank you is great, amen.
We should all be polite and say thank you
and thank people when they give us a gift.
But here's the thing about that.
If someone doesn't thank you for a gift that you gave
and you get bitter and upset and a week later you're mad
and you're dropping F bombs on them
because they didn't thank you.
You know, you didn't give that gift for the right reason.
You didn't give it out of a heart of love.
You're probably a sycophant.
You're probably a flatterer.
You're probably one of these type of people
that we're describing, a wicked person.
And so these, there's no new thing under the sun.
What we see here with Absalom are the same kind of patterns
that we see playing out in our day of people who just,
they wanna just have a personal relationship with King David
and if they can't get time with King David,
because what was Absalom freaking out about?
Why won't David see me?
And then what does he turn around?
He starts putting that idea in everyone else's head.
David won't see you either.
He's too busy for you too.
He doesn't wanna see you either.
You don't have a personal relationship with him either?
And these wicked people, it's like literally dealing with,
I've been dealing with people for 16 years
and whenever I deal with these evil,
because they, look, right now you may not know
how evil Absalom is.
Oh, just turn the page when he's sleeping
with his father's 10 concubines
and wanting to murder his own dad and doing all this.
So it gets way worse.
And that's how it is with these people
where eventually they just show how super wicked they are.
But then you look back and they did all this kind of stuff
that Absalom did.
They had that same mentality.
They're always bringing up the same type of grievances
and they're always flattering and doing things the same way.
Yeah, there was this other guy, this other guy,
and it's like another textbook,
wicked person, sycophant, flatterer, fake humble guy.
He was this guy that was tossed
from Steadfast Baptist Church.
I don't, Humbo was the nickname that he was given
because he was so fake humble.
What's his real name?
Bo Ballard, right?
So we just called him Humbo.
And this guy is still, he's online,
always talking smack to this day.
He's one of these obsessed freaks.
But anyway, he went on this campaign
attacking Pastor Shelley.
And one of the things that he attacked
about Pastor Shelley was and all that time
you went to Faithful Word Baptist Church
that you never went soul winning personally
with Pastor Anderson.
You know, why didn't Pastor Anderson
personally go soul winning with you?
Pastor Anderson ordained you without personally going,
it's like so what?
Because we have 400 people in our church
because we have literally hundreds of people
going out soul winning every week
and Pastor Shelley did a ton of soul winning in our church.
Who here went soul winning with Pastor Shelley
while he was here at our church?
A bunch of people that are here
did go soul winning with him.
He was faithfully out soul winning on a weekly basis.
Yeah, but did you go soul winning
with Pastor Anderson though?
And here's the thing, like hey,
going soul winning with me is maybe not as exciting
as you think it's gonna be.
Because I don't have any exotic soul winning methods.
You know what I mean?
When I go soul winning,
have you seen the soul winning demonstration video?
Have you seen my Bible Way to Heaven videos?
That's pretty much what it's like going soul winning.
And people who go soul winning would be,
you know, the only thing that sometimes will surprise them
is sometimes people have a weird view of me
so they're surprised that I'm nice to people.
Like of course I'm nice to people, you know,
but they expected me to be like yelling,
like I'm yelling from the pulpit.
They expect me to just be preaching at people.
They didn't expect me to be gentle with people.
And sometimes they're a little surprised
just by how gentle and diplomatic I am with people
and I'm trying to be nice and whatever.
But like there's really no exotic,
it's not like, you know, come soul winning with me
Pastor Shelley so that I can complete your training.
Because I didn't have to personally train Pastor Shelley
on soul winning because there's lots of other people
in our church that are great at soul winning.
You know, I go soul winning with different people
in our church and sometimes I am really impressed
by how well some of the people in our church do soul winning.
We've got some great soul winners in our church.
I mean, you know, now sometimes people's soul winning
is not that great.
And so make sure you go with a variety of people,
you know, and make sure you see what's out there
and realize that some people's soul winning
is not necessarily as great.
But man, there are a lot of people in our church
who do great out soul winning
where I'm always, you know, really impressed
by the wisdom whereby they handle those
soul winning experiences and just how well
they preach the gospel and everything like that.
And so, you know, but this attitude that says,
well you didn't go soul winning personally
with Pastor Anderson so you're not legitimate somehow.
What that is is that that's him projecting
what's in his own heart.
He's a sycophant that wants all this personal attention.
And so then he's gonna project that on other people
assuming that they're also sycophants
that must have personal attention.
And you know what it reminds me of?
It reminds me of a toddler where you go to feed a toddler
and it's like, no, I want mommy to do it.
And you're saying, you know, sometimes I'll want
one of my daughters to, hey, go change that diaper
or go feed that baby or whatever.
Go put his shoes on.
I want daddy to do it.
I want mommy to do it, right?
It's like, no.
You know, or even sometimes it's the other way around.
You know, I was helping out a child a couple days ago
and you know, I'm not gonna name any names
but it was a toddler in our house that said,
you know, no, I want Becca to do it.
It's like, what in the world?
I can't win.
But the point is that that's a mental,
yeah, you know who you are, all right.
But the point is that, you know,
you expect that from a toddler.
That's how toddlers are, right?
I want mom to do it.
I want daddy to do it.
But you know what, that's what it reminds me of like,
I want Pastor Anderson to do it.
Hey, Brother Segura's gonna take care of this for you.
Hey, you know, Brother Russell's got you taken care of.
I want Pastor Anderson to do it.
Well, sorry, you big baby.
But you know what, we've got a great staff
that sometimes is better at stuff than pet.
I am not the best at everything in the world.
And if you think I am, you're crazy.
You're probably one of these weirdo stalkers.
And by the way, the same person who's gonna praise you
with all these over the top flattering compliments
is the same person who's gonna throw you under the bus later
when you don't give them enough personal attention
and then they turn on you and become a psycho stalker.
You know, it always cracks me up in the Bible
when I'm reading the book of Acts
and Paul and Barnabas show up
and the Lycaonians say these guys are gods.
You know, they see Paul and Barnabas do a miracle
and they decide Paul and Barnabas must be gods.
You know, the gods have come down to us in human form.
And you know, Paul and Barnabas are saying no,
stop worshiping us.
They rip their clothes and say,
we're trying to turn you away from these vanities.
You know, this polytheistic religion you're in is false
and don't worship us and whatever.
Literally like two verses later,
they're like, okay, now we're gonna kill Paul.
And then they stone Paul.
Verses later.
So isn't it funny, the same people that are declaring him
a god at one point, which is an over the top praise,
a few verses later want him dead.
Okay, why?
Because that's how flatterers and sycophants are.
If you don't do what they want you to do,
they turn on you like that.
So they flatter you, but then if you're not on their side,
they're ready to turn around and destroy you.
And stop and think about this with Absalom.
Absalom's flattering the men of Israel
and stealing the hearts of the men of Israel, right?
But what's gonna happen?
In a moment, they're gonna have to make a decision
where they decide, you know,
as we go a couple verses down,
where they're gonna decide whether they get on Absalom's
side or whether they remain loyal to King David.
And guess what?
If they remain loyal to King David,
is Absalom gonna have an attitude that says,
well, you know what, I respect your decision.
No, it's like, then you're gonna die.
We're going to war.
You know, you get on my side or you die.
I mean, that's the attitude with these kind of people.
And so when you read the story of Absalom
going down this dark path,
you can recognize the same kind of patterns and trends
that we still see to this day of wicked people
using these kind of tactics of flattery
and telling people you're not getting
enough personal attention.
And by the way, the adulterer will use the same tactic
and tell you, oh, your husband's
not giving you enough attention.
Oh, your husband's so busy.
Oh, your husband is on business trips
or he works long hours.
Oh, man, if I had a wife like you,
I wouldn't take her for granted.
I'd be spending more time with her.
You know, you better run screaming the other direction
from that kind of talk.
You know, your husband, yeah,
he works long hours paying for you.
He works long hours putting food on the table, okay?
And it's nobody else's business to come to you
and start telling you what your husband
should and shouldn't be doing.
You know, that's between you and your husband
and don't let other people come to you
and flatter you like that.
But I'm telling you, it's out there.
Oh, your wife just doesn't understand.
Oh, your husband just doesn't understand you.
And oh, you know, let me be a shoulder to cry on.
Let me be someone you can talk to.
Oh, oh, Pastor Anderson's too busy for you.
You know, he's too busy for everybody.
You know, Pastor, you know.
And it's just these tactics of flattering
and sowing these kind of seeds.
And that's what people are gonna do
the same way that Absalom,
and it's a sign of a wicked person.
People who freak out because you don't want
to spend time with them or you don't wanna be their friend
or you don't wanna give them personal attention.
You know, that's a bad sign.
That's a very scary thing.
And that's what Absalom is doing.
And then of course, you know, we're out of time tonight.
But basically the next thing Absalom's gonna do
is he's gonna declare himself to be king.
You know, he's gonna set up an alternate kingdom.
He's gonna try to split the church.
He's gonna, you know, break up the marriage.
He's going to start a political rebellion.
You know, all the different ways that this can manifest.
He's gonna try to draw children away from their parents
or, you know, break apart friendships.
That's what he goes to do next.
But we should see these signs
when we see the Absaloms of this world.
We need to be aware that they're out there
and know that they are bad people.
And I'm sure that they have some reason.
I'm sure if we were to talk to Humbo,
he could give all of the grievances and all of the reasons.
But here's a guy who went from the new IFB
being the greatest thing ever to being just,
oh, it's so wicked.
Oh, it's cool.
And look at all of the new IFB wash-ups.
They're all that way.
The new IFB wash-ups, it's funny how
when we were giving them attention
or when we were friends with them,
we were the greatest thing ever.
They just loved the movement.
Now they make these statements like,
oh, that was just a really embarrassing period in my life.
I'm so ashamed of that period in my life
when I was part of the new IFB.
That's funny, because while you were in the new IFB,
you loved it.
While you were in the new IFB getting attention,
you thought it was great.
Now all of a sudden it's like, oh, you know,
yeah, it's so, oh man, it's so rotten or whatever.
Oh, what an embarrassment that I was ever part of it.
Folks, when you see people turn on a dime like that,
something's wrong.
Okay, where you see people who once thought it was great.
Now here's the thing.
Let's say that there was a great church
that was serving God and I was there and things are great,
and then eventually that church turned around
and threw me under the bus or whatever.
You know, I'm thinking of, I'll just give you an example.
I had a former pastor that basically was someone
that had been really instrumental in my life
and that I had learned a lot of great things
under his ministry.
I had served God in his church for many years
and been very blessed by him.
And then he ended up getting upset
because I preached against the pre-trip rapture
and preached things that he didn't like,
and turning on me, lying about me,
slandering me and so forth.
And here's the thing about that is that I did not turn around
and say, oh, that's such a bad church.
Oh, he's such a bad pastor.
Oh, he's so wicked.
Oh, I kept, what an embarrassing thing
to have gone to that church.
You know what I turned around and said?
I said, I still love him.
I still respect him.
And I'm thankful to God for the years
that I went to that church
because I learned so many great things
and was blessed by that church.
And so many people are going to heaven
because of the soul winning in that church.
Folks, I still was thankful for that church.
You wanna know why?
You wanna know the difference?
Can I tell you why?
Is that I actually loved the church
and I actually loved the pastor
and I actually think about things from the point of view
of the kingdom of God being paramount,
not my own personal kingdom.
So just because someone doesn't like me
or even attacks me or harms me or even lies about me,
it doesn't mean that I'm just gonna say,
oh, well, they must be a horrible person.
If they don't accept me,
then they must be a horrible person.
No, he is not a horrible person.
He is not a horrible person.
He never was a horrible person.
And attacking me and doing me wrong
doesn't just mean, oh, throw him in the trash.
No, he was instrumental in my life.
He was a blessing to me.
I learned a lot.
I'm thankful for my time there.
I'm thankful for his service to the Lord.
And when he gets to heaven,
he's gonna have rewards in heaven for the works that he did.
Did he make a mistake by attacking me wrongfully?
Yes.
But does that mean that just as a person,
he's just no longer valid?
Of course not.
But you see, when you see these people, though,
that will just say, oh, that church is so bad.
Oh, that movement is so bad.
Forget the thousands of people that are being saved.
Forget all the people's lives
that are being changed for the better.
Tens of thousands of people reach.
It's just, oh, they were mean to me, so they're bad.
You know what that shows about that person
is that for that person, it's all about them.
If you're against me, you're bad.
If you're for me, you're good.
That's what it shows you about these people.
When it really ought to be, if you're for Christ,
if you're for the word of God, you're good.
And if you're against Christ,
if you're against sound doctrine,
if you're against the word of God,
that's what makes you bad, not how you are toward me.
The test of fellowship is not,
and people come up to me all the time and say,
well, my pastor really doesn't like you, Pastor Anderson.
And I'm just like, that's okay.
That's okay, he doesn't have to like me.
I don't go to his church.
He doesn't have to like me.
He still might be a great pastor.
Keep going there, keep being blessed by it.
You know, it doesn't make him a rotten person.
Now there are some rotten people who don't like me,
but there are also some good people who don't like me.
There might be some good people who don't like you,
but you know, oh, if somebody doesn't like you,
well, just light their barley field on fire
and just plot against them.
Oh, they don't have a relationship with you?
Maybe you can force them to have a relationship with you
by using terrorism.
Folks, there's a lot to learn.
I'm out of time, but there's a lot to learn
in this Absalom story.
This is one of the most relevant chapters in the Bible,
okay, and it's not just for me as a pastor.
Yeah, I'm using a lot of illustrations that apply to me
because I'm me up here.
But even as just a lay person,
you're gonna have people flatter you.
You're gonna have sycophants that wanna be your friend
and just wanna force themselves on you.
It's out there, my friend.
If I ask for a raise of hands,
hey, have you ever had someone try to force themselves on,
you don't have to raise your hand,
have you ever had someone try,
boy, this, how old is he?
He's three years old and he's already experienced it.
All right, all right, that's a good place to close.
Let's bow our heads in that word of prayer.
Father, we thank you so much for your word, Lord,
and it's amazing how we can read about these events
that happened literally 3,000 years ago,
and yet they're still relevant to us today, Lord.
Help us to learn from the wisdom of the Bible in two ways.
Lord, help us not to be like an Absalom
where we get bitter and disgruntled
and lash out at people.
Lord, help us to be willing to just let things go,
but then also, Lord, help us to be warned
to beware of the Absaloms that come into our lives
so that we don't let them flatter us or talk us into
rebelling against our parents
or rebelling against the church
or rebelling against whatever authority in our life.
Lord, help us not to go through life
seeing ourselves as victims,
but to realize that we can live a godly Christian life
even if people around us are doing the wrong thing.
Help us to just ignore that
and just keep on pressing forward
for the kingdom of your son, Jesus Christ,
in whose name we pray, amen.