that we pray, amen.
Man, this morning I'm preaching on Absalom.
And Absalom is a really important character
in the Bible, because he's not just
this horrible, evil, reprobate.
But yet, by the end of the story,
he does become a very evil, disgusting person.
And so we need to take warning.
He starts out a decent, moral guy,
and he goes down this dark path.
And by the end of it, he's a horrific person
and ends up meeting a very ill end.
And so we want to make sure that we
don't make the mistakes in our life that Absalom made,
so that we don't go down that same road
and end up like Absalom.
He's someone that a Christian could end up
like if they go down this dark path.
So let's see where this story all started.
And really, when we talk about the story of Absalom,
we have to go back a little bit to this incident that
ends up starting all the problems in Absalom's life.
And that is this issue with his sister, Tamar.
So of course, King David has multiple wives,
which is obviously never God's will.
God, at the beginning, made them male and female,
Adam and Eve.
And he always intended for a man
to leave his father and mother
and to cleave unto his wife, singular,
and they too would be one flesh.
But King David is practicing what
a lot of ancient kings practice,
where they have multiple wives.
And so these children are half siblings, right?
So he has a son, Absalom.
And Absalom has a full-blooded sister, Tamar.
But then they also have this half brother named Amnon.
And so it says in verse 1 there of chapter 13,
it came to pass after this that Absalom, the son of David,
had a fair sister whose name was Tamar.
And Amnon, the son of David, loved her.
And Amnon was so vexed that he fell sick for his sister
Tamar, for she was a virgin.
And Amnon thought it hard for him to do anything to her.
So Amnon falls in love with this half sister, Tamar.
Now of course, this is a totally inappropriate
relationship because according to the Bible,
even if it's your half sister, it's still your sister.
So that would be an incestuous, wrong relationship.
Even though it's only his half sister,
the Bible is clear on that in Leviticus chapter 18.
But yet he has these wicked thoughts,
and he has this wrong desire where
he falls in love with Tamar.
But his conscience is stopping him from acting on this.
He feels bad that he has these thoughts.
And so he's not going to act on it
because he doesn't want to harm her, and she's a virgin.
He doesn't want to corrupt her.
He doesn't want to defile her.
So his conscience keeps him from acting.
But in verse 3, it says, but Amnon had a friend.
And what a powerful phrase just that alone is.
But Amnon had a friend.
You know, here we are going through life,
and our conscience keeps us from doing
these horrible things.
But often, friends can come along and be a bad influence
and even override our conscience,
where we know there's something bad.
We know that something's wrong.
We know we shouldn't do it.
But then that person comes along
and tells us that it's OK and emboldens us to commit sin.
So we need to be careful not to have these kind of people
in our life, these kind of friends that
will embolden us to sin and give us permission to sin
and talk us into sinning.
And by the way, the sad thing is
that a lot of times that friend that's
emboldening people to sin, a preacher at some liberal church
telling you, hey, it's OK to drink.
It's OK to sleep together before you're married.
It's OK to do these things.
That is wickedness, even from a friend, a high school buddy.
But how much more of an abomination
is it when it's coming from the pulpit in the house of God,
where you actually have churches that are telling you,
yeah, go ahead and do this.
Go ahead and divorce your spouse.
Go ahead and drink and do these things.
God forbid that Pastor Jonadab would give you
that kind of advice, even in the church.
It's our job as preachers to preach against sin
and to actually strengthen the resolve of your conscience,
not to go down these type of roads.
But Amnon had this friend whose name was Jonadab,
the son of Shimea, David's brother.
And Jonadab was a very subtle man.
Now, what does it mean when it says that this guy Jonadab
is a very subtle man?
Well, it means that he's very clever.
He's very cunning.
He's intelligent, but not necessarily in a good way.
Maybe he's sly and devious.
And so he said unto him, why art thou being the king's son
lean from day to day, he says in verse 4.
Wilt thou not tell me?
He's like, dude, why are you so skinny?
I mean, you're the king's son.
There should be all kinds of feasting going on.
You know, what's the deal?
You know, why are you so skinny?
Why are you so lean?
And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother
Absalom's sister.
So that's why he hasn't been eating.
He's been losing weight.
He's getting skinny because he's just all sick and upset
about being infatuated with his sister, his half-sister
Tamar.
And Jonadab said unto him, lay thee down on thy bed
and make thyself sick.
And when thy father cometh to see thee, say unto him,
I pray thee, let my sister Tamar come and give me
meat and dress the meat in my sight, that I may see it
and eat it at her hand.
So a couple of things right away to point out in the story
here is that, you know, it says here, you know,
well, why are you lean from day to day?
Oh, you know, I'm in love with this girl,
and so I'm not eating.
I'm sick.
I'm upset.
And, you know, this is the way sometimes teenagers
or young adults can be, where they get so obsessed on one
thing, especially if it's something that they can't have,
they get so obsessed on this one thing that, I mean,
this is even affecting him physically to the point
where he can't even eat food.
And all throughout the Bible, we
have examples of people getting obsessed with something
that they're not supposed to have and getting fixated
on that, and it ends up ruining their life
or destroying them.
Now, as you get older and more mature,
you realize that life is more complicated
and multifaceted, and there are all kinds of different areas
of our life, so that if one area of our life
is not going the way we want it to,
we can just focus on another area of life.
If we can't have this, then we'll just take that instead
or if this door closes, well, let's just find
this other door that's open instead of just being so fixated
or obsessed on one thing.
Okay, this is a sign of weakness or immaturity
when you obsess about one thing
and can't just move on to something else.
Okay, this is not a virtue to be this monomaniacal, okay?
You know, for example, you take a baby.
A lot of times, babies, they will only listen to one song
and so you try to sing other songs to them
and they cry and they cry and then you sing
that one song they like and they're happy.
And so I've literally walked around
with one of my kids before singing Jesus Loves Me
for like an hour straight.
And I just, after a while, I'm just getting bored
of singing Jesus Loves Me for an hour straight
but then I'll try to switch to something
and it's like, ah, you know, I'm like, Jesus,
and then it's just like, they just get quiet.
And so it could be, you never know what song
they're gonna fixate on.
You know, for Chloe, it was Psalm 139, you know?
You never know what they're gonna grasp hold of.
But Jesus Loves Me is often pretty popular with babies
because it has such a simple tune
and they love that simple tune.
Sometimes I can kind of trick them
by kind of rolling into Jesus Loves the Little Children
and just kind of get a little variety going
but I'm telling you, they just, they're obsessed.
They're fixated or maybe they wanna watch
the same cartoon over and over again.
They wanna hear the same song over and over again.
But you know, as you grow up, you realize,
hey, there are other songs out there.
You know, there's other food out there.
There are, you know, hopefully you don't find
that there are other cartoons out there.
You know, hopefully you get older
and move past those type of things.
But the point is that it's immature
when you just fixate and obsess over one thing.
You know, if you're a teenage girl
and there's this one boy that your parents
are forbidding you from dating that boy,
you know what to do?
You start looking for someone else
and you just date someone else
and you just move on and don't just get obsessed
and infatuated with that one person.
Or conversely, let's say there's some girl
that, you know, some teenage dude is told by his parents,
hey, that girl is off limits.
Stay away from her.
She's bad news or whatever.
You know, you just move on to someone else.
Don't get infatuated or obsessed.
You know, you're being a baby.
You're being like a child, okay?
Now I know Hollywood is gonna tell you,
hey, there's this one person out there
and you know, and you'd just be willing
to just trash your whole life for that person.
Well guess what?
No, you shouldn't.
Because our life has all of these different components
to it, our life has all these different facets to it
and romantic love is only one of those things, okay?
But we also have our walk with God.
We also have church.
We also have our job.
You know, we also have other family relationships
with our parents and our siblings, cousins, friends
and we need to not get obsessed with that one thing,
especially if it's something that God has forbidden us.
We need to just drop it and let it go, okay?
And it's just like the Garden of Eden
for crying out loud.
You know, you can eat all these trees
but it's like, no, I just want that one tree
of the knowledge of good and evil
that I'm not allowed to eat.
That's what I wanna be eating.
Folks, this is the downfall of human nature
in many cases and it especially afflicts teenagers
and young adults and people of that nature.
And that's what we're dealing with here.
We're dealing with, you know, some younger people
and they're getting infatuated or obsessed
about something stupid, okay?
Because obviously this is stupid for them
to have these feelings toward this half-sister, you know?
Which, you know, I'm not, whatever.
I don't even wanna talk about it, okay?
Let's just keep going.
But then it says, you know, oh, you're lean
from day to day and he says, oh, I love Tamar,
my brother Absalom's sister.
And then Jonadab comes up with this idea,
well, you know, pretend to be sick
and then say that you want her to serve you food
while you're sick because it'll make you feel better,
a little chicken soup or whatever.
Now, here's the thing, this is obviously a lie.
He's telling him lie and deceive
so that you can get what you want.
But what's interesting is that it started out
by telling us that he had fallen sick
for his sister Tamar at the beginning of verse two.
Do you see that?
And so we see that the most effective lie
is the lie that is the closest to the truth.
So this guy, Jonadab, he's no dummy.
He's a smart guy and so he comes up with a plan
that basically takes the truth
and just twists it a little bit
because the lie that is the closest to the truth
is the most effective lie, okay?
And that's what we need to watch out for as Christians.
The devil's gonna come at us with his lies
because Jonadab in this story represents the devil.
He's gonna come at us with lies
that are close to the truth.
But guess what?
Close to the truth isn't enough.
We need the truth.
And so Amnon takes this bad advice
from his evil friend Jonadab.
It says in verse six,
so Amnon lay down and made himself sick
and when the king was come to see him,
Amnon said unto the king,
I pray thee, let Tamar my sister come
and make me a couple of cakes in my sight
that I may eat at her hand.
Then David sent home to Tamar saying,
go now to thy brother Amnon's house and dress him meat.
So Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house
and he was laid down and she took flour and kneaded it
and made cakes in his sight and did bake the cakes.
And so she thinks that this is just on the up and up.
She thinks that he's just actually is sick
and that he actually just wants
a little bit of encouragement
and she's just gonna come
and do this little cooking show for him
and produce this food for him.
And it says that she took a pan, verse nine,
poured them out before him but he refused to eat.
And Amnon said, have out all men from me.
And they went out every man from him.
And Amnon said unto Tamar,
bring the meat into the chamber
that I may eat of thine hand.
And Tamar took the cakes which she had made
and brought them into the chamber to Amnon, her brother.
And keep in mind, this is the king's son.
He's got all kinds of servants.
That's why he even says, okay,
all the servants need to leave.
Everybody needs to leave right now.
This guy could pretty much have any woman that he wants.
I mean, there are all kinds of thousands and thousands
of beautiful women in this kingdom, I'm sure,
that he could have married.
But the fool that he is, he just obsesses
over this one person that he can't have.
And you say, well, Pastor Anderson, you know,
you just don't know what true love is and how powerful.
But guess what?
Let me explain something to you about that.
This isn't true love.
Because guess what?
After he commits a sin with her,
the Bible says that he hated her after that.
He didn't even like her anymore.
So if this is true love,
wouldn't it last more than just one romp?
Yeah, it's gonna last longer than that.
This is wickedness.
This is sin.
This is foolishness.
This is stupidity.
It's madness.
And so I don't care how sick to your stomach you are.
I don't care the butterflies that you feel.
I don't care how much your pulse quickens.
And you're just so obsessed with that one person
that's an unsaved person
that you're not supposed to be dating
or that has been forbidden you by your parents
or whatever, because maybe they know something
that you don't since they've been on this earth
for twice as long as you have.
But yet, you are just so obsessed.
Folks, don't mistake that for being some true love,
your soulmate.
It's a bunch of baloney, okay?
Those of us that are adults,
we remember our teenage infatuations
and we shake our head at the people
that we were infatuated with as young people.
We look back and say, oh man,
you know, that girl that I was infatuated with
when I was 13, 14, 15.
Man, I'm so glad I didn't end up with her.
You know, because why?
Because those type of teenage infatuations,
you can't trust that, okay?
It's not reliable.
And so, you know, you need to listen to people
that are giving you advice, okay?
Now look what the Bible says here.
When she had brought them unto him to eat, verse 11,
he took hold of her and said unto her,
come lie with me, my sister.
And she answered him, nay, my brother.
No, what are you talking about, right?
This is weird, what are you doing?
Nay, my brother, she says, do not force me.
So look, she's not gonna consent to this.
She's not gonna go along with this.
The only way this is gonna happen
is if he forces her against her will,
just literally physically overpowering her.
She's not going to go along with this.
And so she says, do not force me,
for no such thing ought to be done in Israel.
Now, you know, the equivalent to that
in the New Testament would be like,
hey, you know, we're Christians here.
This isn't how Christians behave,
because when they say no such thing
ought to be done in Israel,
she's referring to the fact
that they're the people of the Lord.
They're God's people.
They're supposed to not act like a bunch of heathens
and Philistines and Hittites
and all these other wicked nations
that would maybe do things like this.
She's saying, no, no, we're Christians, right?
You know, no such thing ought to be done in Israel.
And she said, do not thou this folly.
And again, folly comes from the same root
as the word fool.
She's saying, this is stupid.
You're being an idiot.
You're making a huge mistake.
This is dumb what you're doing.
And she says, and I, whither shall I cause my shame to go?
And as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools
in Israel.
Now therefore I pray thee, speak unto the king
for he will not withhold me from thee.
So she, you know, whether she really believes this or not
or thinks this is true or whether it even is true or not,
she's trying to talk him out of this
in a few different ways.
She's saying, look, first of all, it's not right.
You know, this ought not to be done in Israel,
which would be the equivalent of saying like,
hey, we're Christians.
This is not how Christians are meant to behave.
That's the first objection that she gives.
The second objection is, well, you know, what about me?
You know, are you thinking about the fact
that I'm a virgin and you're basically defiling me
and where am I gonna cause my shame to go?
Now I'm gonna get a bad reputation.
Now I'm gonna be seen as impure and defiled
because of what you did to me against my will.
So the first objection is, well, it's wrong, don't do it.
And that should be enough, of course.
The second objection is, well, you know,
why don't you think about the victim?
Think about who you're hurting.
Think about what it's gonna do to me.
And then the third objection is, well, you know,
you're basically gonna look like a complete idiot.
You know, you're gonna ruin your life
and you're gonna be a pariah.
You're gonna be a laughing stock.
Everybody's gonna hate you or think you're an idiot
for having done this.
And then she gives a fourth objection where she says,
well, you know, if you insist on this union,
then go through the proper channels
and, you know, talk to King David
and see if we can make this happen.
Now, you know, hopefully King David
would never have agreed to such a union
since it's unbiblical and wrong and corrupt.
And maybe she's just saying that to kind of save her skin
and maybe she kind of knows
that that's not really gonna happen.
But at least she's just trying to say whatever
to get this guy to back off, okay?
And so she gives four very compelling arguments,
especially the first three
that are very compelling arguments,
but yet he's not gonna listen to reason, right?
And so in verse 14,
howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice,
but being stronger than she,
forced her and lay with her.
And again, this goes to show the danger
of this kind of monomaniacal obsession,
fixation, infatuation,
where you won't listen to the people around you
that are speaking good sense.
I mean, she is making a lot of sense.
Even if you don't like one of her arguments,
she gives four powerful arguments
and he's not willing to listen.
Three of them are for sure legitimate arguments
and he's not listening.
And so, you know, you teenagers and young people,
when you're tempted to do something stupid
and when you're obsessing over
that thing that you're not allowed to do
or that place you're not allowed to go
or that person that you're not allowed to date,
you know, you need to listen
to the people that are trying to talk sense into you.
You know, we all need to be willing
to listen to other people.
Why?
Because even the smartest person
can still sometimes get caught up in a stupid idea
or just make a mistake or be silly about something.
You know, there are times when I've had some crazy ideas
or some crazy thoughts
and then someone talks me out of it.
And it's good to have wise people around you
that can talk you out of stuff
and talk sense into you,
not to have a bunch of jonah dabs around you
just kind of trying to get you worked up
and get you to do stuff.
And you know what?
There's another phenomenon among teenagers
where basically, you know,
teenagers wanna get you to do stuff
that they don't wanna do themselves
but they wanna see you do it.
So they'll try to talk you into stealing something
or they'll try to talk you into pulling off some prank
or they'll try to talk you into going
and doing something simple
while they just sit back and watch
and then they watch you get in trouble
and maybe they even tell on you.
Okay, don't be a fool
and give in to this kind of peer pressure
that tells you, oh, don't be a chicken
and you deserve this or this is a great idea.
You need to listen to some wise counselors in your life,
listen to the pastor, listen to your parents,
listen to older siblings who are wiser than you,
not older siblings who are idiots
and just listen to other people
that are actually following the Lord
and they can actually give you righteous counsel.
He doesn't listen
and he commits this violent, evil act
of forcing his sister Tamar.
I mean, this is a super wicked, violent, evil act.
In fact, according to scripture,
I'm not gonna turn there for sake of time,
but this is a crime that should be punished
by the death penalty.
You know, when a man forces a woman to sleep with him,
that should be punished by the death penalty.
It's a major sin, very wicked.
But look at the next words, verse 15,
then Amnon hated her exceedingly.
That escalated quickly, right?
I mean, he's so in love with her,
he has to have her, he forces her,
but then he hates her.
And then it says, Amnon hated her exceedingly
so that the hatred wherewith he hated her
was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her.
And Amnon said unto her, arise, be gone.
And she said unto him, there's no cause.
This evil in sending me away
is greater than the other that thou didst unto me.
But he would not hearken unto her.
Then he called his servant that ministered unto him
and said, put now this woman out for me
and bolt the door after her.
And you see, this is what Amnon fails to understand
is the repercussions for our actions.
When we commit a serious sin,
you can't always just wish it away.
You could commit a sin that is so awful
that it could haunt you for the rest of your life.
Even if God forgives you,
even if other people forgive you,
there are sins that could damage you
for the rest of your life.
It could damage you physically.
They could fill you with disease.
They could cause you to be injured or harmed in some way
or they could just be people that haunt you
for the rest of your life
and sins that just keep coming back to cause you problems.
You can't just commit this horrific sin
and then just be like, oh, I changed my mind.
Nevermind, do over, sorry, done.
Life doesn't work that way.
So he just wants to just get this problem away
like, oh, that was stupid.
I messed up.
I shouldn't have done that.
Get out of here.
But life's not that easy, my friend.
When you don't listen, when you get fixated,
you commit this horrific sin,
it's not gonna be that easy to clean up the mess.
And so he sends her out, bolts the door after her,
and she's wearing this garment of diverse colors upon her
for with such robes, verse 18,
where the king's daughters that were virgins appareled,
then his servant brought her out
and bolted the door after her.
And Tamar put ashes on her head
and rent her garment of diverse colors.
So she tears her clothes, puts ashes on her head,
which is a sign of mourning.
She's very upset.
And laid her hand on her head and went on crying.
So here she is walking down the street, torn dress,
ashes on her head, crying and wailing and weeping.
Obviously, people are gonna notice this.
You know, what happened?
She's in there, she's with Amnon,
all of a sudden she comes out, disheveled,
ripped clothes, ashes on her head,
crying, weeping, and so forth.
And so it says in verse number 20,
Absalom her brother said unto her,
hath Amnon thy brother been with thee?
You know, so Absalom,
and so far we haven't heard from Absalom, right?
This is the first time Absalom comes into the story.
All we know is that Absalom
is Tamar's full-blooded brother.
Same mom, same dad.
And so this is his full-blooded sister that he loves.
And so here's where Absalom enters the story.
Absalom comes to her and says,
hath Amnon thy brother been with thee?
So you know, he's smart enough to put two and two together
and figure out what happened, okay?
Then the next word is,
but hold now thy peace, my sister.
He basically says like, nevermind, shut up,
don't tell me, because I don't wanna hear it.
You know, it's too gross, it's too wicked.
Don't even say it, because he's like, I get it.
He figured out what happened, but he says,
hold your peace, don't say it.
He's thy brother, regard not this thing.
So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom's house.
So the reason that we went into that long, in-depth story
in order to set up the story of Absalom,
which I'm not gonna preach the whole story this morning
so don't get scared and think we're gonna be here
for a really long time or anything.
But basically, the reason I'm showing you this
is because it's essential to understanding
where Absalom went wrong.
Because Absalom does not start out as a bad person.
I mean, from what we've read so far,
does it seem like Absalom's a bad,
now Amnon is a horrible person.
Jehanadab's a horrible person.
But Absalom and Tamar both seem like pretty good people.
And Absalom here, he's very sensitive
and loving and caring toward his sister.
He's worried about her feelings.
Once he realizes what happened,
he tells her, don't even say it.
He doesn't wanna put her through the pain
of having to recount what happened,
because he already gets it.
He already knows what happened.
And so he doesn't make her go into a bunch of details.
He says, hold your peace.
And he actually opens up his home to her
and says, come live with me.
I'll take care of you.
You know, we're gonna get through this.
And so Absalom starts out as being a pretty stand-up guy.
He's definitely not the villain in the story.
Amnon is the villain.
Jehanadab's the villain.
Absalom is not the villain.
Absalom is the victim's brother
who feels bad for his sister, loves his sister,
cares about his sister.
He's kind unto her.
He's sensitive to her needs.
He opens up his home to her and brings her in
and says, hey, you know, I'm not ashamed of you.
It's not your fault.
You didn't do anything wrong.
You can stay at my place.
We're gonna get through this.
So Absalom's not a bad guy, is he?
You know, he starts out being a right guy.
Now, let me ask you this.
Is Absalom right to be angry at Amnon?
Absolutely, because Amnon has committed
this horrible, disgusting act
that should be punished by death.
So Absalom treats his sister well,
and not only that, but he also is right
to be enraged at Amnon or to want to have nothing
to do with Amnon ever again.
You know, look, if my brother perpetrated
something like this, you know,
I would never want to have anything to do with him again.
I think most people would feel that way.
You know, if their half-brother perpetrated
this atrocity on their sister, you know,
they would say, nuts to you.
I'm never having anything to do with you again,
and that would be legitimate, okay?
Those feelings would be legitimate.
Now, look at verse 21.
It says, but when David heard of all these things,
he was very wroth.
So King David hears about this,
because, of course, when these kind of sins
are committed, it inevitably gets out.
And so King David hears about this,
and very wroth means he was enraged.
So King David is very angry.
He's enraged, and again, that's a right reaction
to hearing about something like this.
But the problem is that that's not enough of a reaction
because Amnon needs to be punished.
Okay, and King David is in the position
to exercise that authority and punish his son.
So when King David finds out about this,
he should be bringing down the law on Amnon,
and Amnon should be put to death for what he's done.
He should be killed for what he's done,
according to the Bible's law.
But instead, King David is very angry.
He's upset.
It's not that King David condones it.
It's not that he thinks it's okay.
But yet, he fails to act.
He basically is just, he's angry,
but he doesn't actually carry out a sentence.
He just looks the other way.
Now, this is a mistake on David's part.
This is an unrighteous judgment.
Because as leaders, kings, judges, anyone else,
pastors of a local church,
are not supposed to be partial in judgment,
respecting one above another, playing favorites like,
oh, well, this is my son, or oh, this is my buddy,
or this is a friend of the family,
so I'm not going to punish them.
But this person over here, they're gonna get punished.
But this person's not gonna get punished.
That's not right.
We have to exercise righteous judgment
that treats one like the other,
that doesn't prefer one before the other.
We have to carry out punishments,
even sometimes on people that we love,
because that's what justice is, okay?
And so David is 100% wrong here,
to just be angry about it,
but not actually carry out any kind of a sentence.
Now, what's Absalom's reaction?
Well, it says in verse 22,
And Absalom spake unto his brother Amnon,
neither good nor bad.
For Absalom hated Amnon
because he had forced his sister Tamar.
Now, again, you can sympathize with Absalom here,
because Absalom has seen this horrible crime take place,
and the fact that the perpetrator of the crime
has gotten away with it.
He's not being punished.
Obviously, he doesn't want anything to do
with Amnon ever again.
He's done with him.
And again, I don't think Absalom
has done anything wrong here.
I think that this is a legitimate feeling.
This is a legitimate response.
Everything's fine up to this point.
But the problem is that Absalom doesn't leave it there.
Okay?
After two full years, it says in verse 23,
do you see that?
Two full years go by,
and he is still just eaten up
by this hatred, wrath, bitterness about what took place.
Two full years earlier, he is still upset about it.
Now look, I get it.
I'm not saying necessarily
that he should ever forgive Amnon's atrocity
that he committed, or let it go, or move on,
or bring over Amnon for Thanksgiving.
Okay?
But at the same time, what we need to be aware of
is letting bitterness, anger, or hatred fester in us,
because eventually it will destroy us.
Even if we're in the right,
it will destroy us ultimately.
Because this is the beginning of the end for Absalom.
And let me tell you something.
Absalom starts out being a kind, sensitive, good person.
He ends up becoming a horrific person.
Let's not downplay how bad Absalom gets, okay?
Absalom does some very, very sinful things,
perverted things, violent things.
I mean, he becomes a very, very horrible person
by the time this story's over.
We don't wanna discount that or forget about that, okay?
But it's interesting to me
where it all started with Absalom.
You know, what is it that led him down this dark road?
How could this good guy become such a horrible person?
Why?
Why is that important?
Because here's the thing.
You know, I'm a good guy.
You're a good guy.
You're a good gal.
We don't wanna become a horrible person, do we?
So we better make sure not to make the mistake
that Absalom made,
because if it could happen to Absalom,
it could happen to me,
it could happen to you,
if we do not take heed unto ourselves
and avoid this downfall of Absalom.
How did he go down this dark road?
It starts out with letting bitterness and hatred
and anger, even if it's a righteous anger,
just fester inside you and eat you up.
Now look, what does the Bible say?
The Bible says, be ye angry and sin not.
It's not that anger itself is a sin.
The Bible says, be ye angry and sin not.
Let not the sun go down on your wrath.
We should not be angry from day to day.
This is a dangerous condition to be in,
living angry, angry on Monday, angry on Tuesday,
angry on Wednesday, even if it's a righteous anger,
even if you're right.
And by the way, 90 some percent of our anger
is not righteous.
It's only rarely that our anger is even righteous.
But even if it is a righteous anger,
carrying it from day to day is wrong.
It's a sin, number one.
But number two, the Bible tells us in the book
of Proverbs that anger resteth in the bosom of fools.
It's stupid to let anger just live inside you
and fester and defile you from the inside.
That bitterness is going to destroy you from the inside.
And so what do we do in a situation like this?
Because the vast majority of the time
that someone does wrong unto us,
the best course of action is of course to forgive them.
Now if the person is repentant and comes to us
and says that they're sorry,
we're commanded to forgive them by scripture.
But even if the person is not repentant,
even if the person does not come to us
and ask forgiveness, even if the person
doesn't make it right, the vast majority of the time,
the best thing for us to do,
the most righteous thing for us to do
is just forgive that person anyway.
And just forgive them and let it go.
But there are very rare situations
where someone does something
that is really just unforgivable.
You know, somebody who's a rapist
or somebody who's doing these type of horrible things
where you just say like,
this is beyond the pale of forgiveness.
This is just unforgivable.
I'm not going to forgive him for what he did here.
And I think this is one of those situations
where you could say,
yeah, okay, this is pretty unforgivable.
What do we do in that situation?
Well, you know, in that situation,
we need to do what Absalom started out by doing,
which is just to stay away from that person.
Just get away from that person.
And by the way,
don't sit around thinking about that person.
Don't dwell on that person.
You know, there are so many wrong things in this world,
and we could sit around and dwell on all the wrong things
in this world all day long.
And you know what it's going to do?
It's going to destroy us.
That's why the Bible tells us
whatsoever things are true,
whatsoever things are honest,
whatsoever things are just,
whatsoever things are pure,
whatsoever things are lovely,
whatsoever things are a good report,
if there be any virtue,
and if there be any praise,
think on these things.
What should we meditate on?
What should we think about?
What should we dwell on?
All the lies in this world that get us so mad.
No, no, no, think about the truth.
Think about things that are honest.
Think about things that are lovely.
Don't sit around meditating upon that,
which is ugly and gory and wicked in this world.
And look, there are a lot of things in this world
that we could legitimately get angry about, right?
I mean, look, we could just look at politics all day,
and we could find all the politicians
that make us so mad,
and then we could just start looking up
all the local crimes.
We could just start reading the newspaper
and read about every violent crime
that takes place in our area
and just get super angry and upset.
And look, obviously, yeah, people being murdered
and robbed and stabbed and raped.
Yeah, you know what?
Those are things that are legitimate to get upset about,
to get mad about.
You know, we could look at all the perverts
and all their pride parades
and all the weirdos and all these things,
and we could just sit around all day
thinking about these things
and getting legitimately angry about them,
getting righteously indignant.
We could read about every Christian persecution
going on in the world, every violent crime,
every corrupt politician, every weirdo pervert.
But is that the way that God wants us
to live our lives?
Is that a healthy way to live our lives?
Sitting around and dwelling on those things
and think about those things.
And look, I'm not saying to stick your head in the sand,
but you know what?
Most of those things are not really our business, are they?
You know, when there's eight billion people in the world
and the internet connects all of them,
you know, you could just constantly
just be taking in all this garbage
and being mad all the time.
And it's a foolish way to live your life
because in real life,
how many of these things actually happen in your life?
See, when the things actually come to you or touch you
or happen in your immediate sphere,
like something actually happens to someone in your family
or someone close to you in your neighborhood
or in your church or whatever,
then yet there are gonna be some things
where yeah, we need to deal with it
because it's our problem.
It's our business and we need to get involved.
We need to speak out.
We need to stand up and do what's right.
You know, a Bible preacher, you know,
he's preaching through the word of God
and he needs to preach on these subjects
because they're dealing, you know,
there's something that we all deal with
in our everyday lives or whatever.
But, but here's the thing.
We don't need to go out looking for things
to be upset about and get worked up about.
And we don't need to necessarily sign up
for that email list that emails us every wicked thing
every day that every politician's doing, right?
I mean, you know, there are plenty of news agencies
that you could sign up for
that will just deliver to you all of the dumb things
that the government's doing every single day.
But is that really gonna make you a better person
or equip you for serving Christ better
to just know all those things
and be upset about all those things?
And look, obviously, yeah,
there are things that legitimately
we need to deal with in our lives.
But here's the thing.
Those things are a lot fewer
than just plugging into the World Wide Web
and just getting every, every bad thing delivered unto us
in our email or just going out
and seeking out things to get upset about.
So does everybody understand what I'm saying?
Everybody see the difference?
And here's the thing.
When something legitimately comes into our sphere
of influence and we're right to get mad about it
because it actually affects us or affects our family
or affects our friends.
You know, we have every right to become angry.
We have every right to be enraged.
We have every right to take action,
whatever is a righteous action,
whatever we have the power to righteously do.
But then, you know what we need to do?
When we're done with it, we need to drop it and move on.
Deal with it and move on.
You know, I might need to get up behind the pulpit
and preach a hard sermon against the Sodomites,
but you know what?
When I'm done preaching that hard sermon
against the Sodomites,
you know I'm gonna go home
and think about something else.
I'm gonna think about something else on Monday.
I'm gonna think about something else on Tuesday.
And I'm just gonna be happy and enjoy life
and enjoy reading my Bible and enjoy walking with God
and not just sit there and just,
oh, that makes me so mad.
You know, and by the way,
this story makes me mad every time I read it.
Every time I read this story, it gets me mad.
But here's the thing, you know,
I turn the page and I move on
and I think about things that are true.
I think about things that are honest,
just, pure, lovely, et cetera,
because that's what God told me to do,
because I don't want to become an Absalom
where I'm just so mad and so hateful and so bitter
that it ends up destroying me from the inside.
Sure, Absalom ends up destroying his enemy
because later in this chapter, he ends up killing Amnon.
And you know, I've never felt bad
about that part where Amnon gets killed.
That part never really bothers me
as far as like I don't feel like, oh, poor Amnon.
I mean, you know, when lust has conceived,
it bringeth forth sin
and sin would has finished bringing forth death.
He committed this horrible sin.
He violated that girl.
And so, you know, he got what was coming to him.
Amen, it is what it is.
But in the process, he destroyed himself.
And you know what?
It was not right for Absalom
to take that into his own hands, okay?
Now, sure, Amnon deserved to die.
Sure, Absalom, you know, has been wronged here,
but it isn't right for him to just
take this into his own hands
and basically rebel against his father.
That's what he's going to do later in the story.
And you see, in this world,
people around you are constantly gonna disappoint you
and do you wrong, okay?
But it doesn't give you the right
to just get violent and take things into your own hands
and just go out and just kill the people
that need to die or whatever.
Why?
Because the Bible says vengeance belongeth unto me,
saith the Lord, I will repay.
So what does the Bible say?
The Bible says vengeance belongs to the Lord.
Now, unfortunately, today, we have a bunch of preachers,
you know, maybe down at Pastor John Adab's church,
that will just tell you
that God's not even a God of vengeance.
God's not even a God of wrath.
Well, you know, that is really hurtful
because then it makes people feel like
they need to take vengeance themselves.
You know, we need to understand that the God of the Bible
is a God of vengeance, that he does punish the wicked,
because then that allows us to relax and say,
you know what, God's gonna take care of this.
Because let's say that Absalom had not gone
and killed his brother Amnon,
guess what, God would have dealt with him
in another way, would he not?
You think God's just gonna sit back
and let Amnon get away with something like that?
But you know what?
God doesn't always work in our timeframe
because to God, a day is like 1,000 years
and 1,000 years is like a day to him.
So he might punish someone five years later,
10 years later, 15 years later,
but we have to trust the Lord
that he will avenge the righteous
and he will punish the wicked.
And so vengeance belongs to the Lord, he will repay.
We are not to take vengeance ourselves.
We are not to let anger and hatred
consume us to the point where we just say,
well, you know what,
I'm just gonna take care of this myself.
I'm just gonna go kill that sucker myself.
I'm just gonna go beat the living whatever
out of that person myself.
You know, that's not our place to do that.
We need to just patiently wait for the judgment of God.
And in the meantime,
Absalom didn't speak to him good or bad.
Hey, just keep that up, buddy.
And I'll take it a step further.
Not only should you not speak to Amnon,
how about this?
Quit thinking so much about Amnon.
Try to just push it out of your mind
and think about something wholesome,
think about something positive and move forward.
And you say, well, that's easy for you
to say, Pastor Anderson.
Yeah, look, I'm not saying it's gonna be easy.
I'm saying it's what we have to do
because what other option do we have?
When someone commits a horrible sin,
when someone harms us,
when someone harms the people around us
and it's not in our power to take care of it,
when we're not in authority,
all we can do is just let it go, okay?
And look, your parents are not perfect.
No one's parents are perfect,
but they're still your parents
and they still have authority over you
when you're a child,
when you're living in their home
and you need to obey them
even if they do wrong.
The Bible doesn't say children obey your perfect parents.
Children obey your parents when they're right.
That's not what it says.
It says children obey your parents for this is right.
It doesn't say children obey your parents
because they're right.
Your parents might be wrong.
You have to obey your parents
because they're your parents.
You know, the Bible also teaches,
and this is not popular in 2022,
but the Bible also teaches for wives
to obey their husbands.
And by the way, it doesn't say obey your husband
because he's perfect.
Because every husband is gonna make wrong decisions,
every husband's gonna make mistakes,
every husband is gonna do wrong,
but the Bible still says wives obey your husbands
even knowing that they're not gonna be perfect.
Knowing that your parents aren't perfect,
God says obey your parents.
You know, Absalom ends up rebelling against his own father
to the point where he's literally even ready
to kill his own father.
I mean, he literally goes to war with his father.
Why?
Because he's still angry, he's still bitter
about the fact that his dad made this wrong decision,
that his dad didn't punish Amnon when he was supposed to,
and he's just not willing to let it go.
Now look, was David wrong to not punish Amnon?
Yeah, David was wrong.
But guess what?
Your parents are gonna make mistakes,
and if you're bitter against your parents,
guess who you end up hurting the most?
You, yourself.
And so every teenager has this sense of righteousness
and this righteous indignation,
and they wanna right every wrong in the world, right?
And young people, even young adults feel that way, right?
They just wanna right every wrong in the world.
But you know what?
We need to understand that it's God's job to be God,
and we can't be God.
Only God can fix this world.
And someday, at the second coming of Jesus Christ,
this world will be straightened out.
But until then, you cannot fix this world,
you cannot right every wrong,
you cannot punish the evildoers of this world.
Evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse
whether or not you and I go on some crusade
to punish them all.
You know, you can go put on some Batman costume
or something and go out and start punishing criminals.
That's not gonna fix anything.
You know what I mean?
Like you can go out and just have some fantasy
about burning down abortion clinics
and doing all these things,
but guess what?
You're not gonna fix anything.
Or you could be on the liberal side
and be like, hey, we just need gun control.
We just take away the guns.
That's not gonna fix anything, okay?
You know, that gun can be used for good or evil.
It's like a stone could be used for good or evil, right?
You know, you could kill someone
and murder someone with a stone
or you could be like David
and kill Goliath with a stone.
You are not gonna fix this world.
You're not gonna fix Arizona.
You're not gonna fix America.
You're not gonna fix human nature.
You're not gonna fix this world.
Others have tried and failed.
It's gonna get worse.
Only God can fix it.
Quit trying to be God.
What you can do is take care
of your little part of the world.
You know, you can take care of your household,
your family, your church, your friends,
and do the best you can to make those a better place
and to serve God in his ultimate mission.
But you have to let God be God
and understand your place in this world.
And you have to understand your place
in the authority structures that God has set up.
God has ordained for children to obey their parents.
And so therefore, it isn't right for Absalom
to rebel against his father
even though his father is wrong, okay?
What he needs to do is just say,
hey, dad screwed up, dad made a mistake, whatever.
I'm gonna go on with my life.
If dad wants to forgive Amnon, that's his problem,
but I'm not going to because he's a rapist and a weirdo
and I want nothing to do with them.
And just live your life and just be happy,
do the best you can, move forward.
But yet what we see here is that Absalom
finds a justification to rebel against his father.
And he ends up, because he's so upset
about Amnon committing a crime that was worthy of death,
he ends up committing crimes that are worthy of death.
Multiple crimes that Absalom commits
make him worthy of death himself
because he, even just for cursing his father
or smiting his father, even if he punched his father
in the face, he'd be put to death under the Mosaic law.
And yet he's ready to murder his own father.
He's bringing troops against his father
and against their armies and so forth.
Why?
Because he feels justified because his parents,
and look, I guarantee you children,
listen up to this last point and I'll be done.
Children and teenagers, I guarantee you
that your parents are gonna do something wrong
or wrong you in some way
or they're gonna give you a spanking
that you don't deserve
or they're gonna chew you out when you were right
at some point in your life, that's going to happen.
Woo, let's just right every wrong in the world.
Are you listening to me?
Children, there'll be a time when your parents are wrong
when they spank you and you didn't do anything wrong.
They chew you out and you didn't do anything wrong
or they punish the wrong sibling.
They think one was guilty as really the other one
was guilty and they lie, whatever.
Listen to me, it's going to happen, it's called life.
Grow up and let it go, let it go.
Drop it, move on, let not the sun go down on your wrath
and don't be bringing it up six months later,
a year later, two years later, five years later.
You say, well, you're just trying to protect my,
I'm trying to protect you.
I'm not here to protect evil politicians and weirdos
or whatever person you think I'm trying, listen to me,
I'm here to protect you because guess who ends up
getting smoked in this story?
It isn't David, it's not David.
David's a real popular name.
Who here is named David?
Got some Davids.
How many absolums do we have in the building?
Hey, David goes down in history as a great man of God.
David goes down as the sweet psalmist of Israel.
David goes down as the man after God's own heart.
Hey, David made a lot of mistakes, committed a lot
of sins, did a lot of stupid and wrong things
in his life, but David ended up okay.
Who ends up hanging from a tree filled with darts?
Who ends up becoming a human dart board
by the end of the story?
That's Absalom.
Absalom is the one that gets destroyed
and goes down in history as a rebellious,
wicked, evil person.
So guess who you end up destroying
when you get all righteously indignant and angry
and hold onto that for six months, a year, two years.
And look, I'm not saying that there isn't a time
to be righteously indignant, but guess what?
When it's toward your parents, it's not righteous.
When you're hanging onto it for three months,
that's not righteous.
When you let the sun go down on your lap,
that's not righteous.
That bitterness is gonna destroy you.
And so if you're smart, let it go.
And again, that kind of brings it back
to where we started the sermon, isn't it?
The same problem that Amnon had,
ironically, is the same problem that Absalom had
because they both can't let it go.
Amnon has these weird feelings for his half-sister.
He can't let it go.
Absalom is getting all angry and vindictive
and he can't let it go.
Folks, we need to be able to control ourselves,
control our mind, govern our own spirit,
and be able to let things go.
And say, if I don't like this over here,
then I'll just go over here.
If this church has done me dirty
and I don't like this church,
I'm gonna go to another church.
You know, if this restaurant has ruined my food,
I don't need to burn it down.
I just might not eat there anymore.
Let it go.
Drop it.
Oh, my parents are just forbidding me
from dating this one person?
Well, guess what?
It's a good thing there's a lot of fish in the sea
and I can just date someone else.
But you know, young people don't get that.
Sometimes they get fixated
and that's why they need someone older
to give them that advice
and tell them, lots of fish in the sea.
Listen to advice and let it go.
Let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer.
Father, we thank you so much for this story, Lord,
that could warn us about how a good person
could become a horrible person.
Lord, help us not to go down that dark path
that Absalom went down when he murdered his,
or didn't necessarily murder, but killed his brother
and took the law into his own hands
and didn't rely upon you to bring judgment
or his father to bring judgment.
Lord, help us not to feel like
we have to right every single wrong in the world.
Help us to let you do your job
and to go through life meditating
on things that are true, honest, pure, just, and lovely.
And it's not always easy, Lord,
but give us the strength to control our emotions
and to control our spirit
so that we could live quiet and peaceable lives
so that we could be godly, productive Christians.
And in Jesus' name we pray, amen.
Amen.