Now, the part of the chapter that I'd like to focus on is beginning at verse number 10,
the famous part of the passage.
Most people are pretty familiar with this passage.
It's known as the passage about the virtuous woman, and that's what I want to preach about
this morning is the subject of what makes a godly woman, or what the Bible here calls
a virtuous woman.
What are the attributes that women should strive for in their lives, because frankly
there aren't a lot of great female role models in our world today for a godly Christian woman
to pattern themselves after, and I'm especially talking about out in the world now.
And the Bible starts out by saying in verse number 10, who can find a virtuous woman for
her price is far above rubies?
So let me ask you this, are we describing just the average woman today, or is this something
that's very common?
You're going to find a lot of women out there that fit this bill?
He's saying this is rare.
This is something that's going to be difficult to find.
And of course, if you get the context of the chapter, look at verse number 1, the Bible
reads the words of King Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.
So this is a mother teaching her son and explaining to her son, these are the qualities of a virtuous
woman.
And he's saying, she is saying, you know, who can find a virtuous woman?
This is what you're looking for, son, to get married to, and it's going to be difficult
to find, and these are the attributes.
And so that's the context of this.
So it says in verse number 10, who can find a virtuous woman for her price is far above
rubies?
The heart of her husband does safely trust in her so that he shall have no need of spoil.
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
So let's just start out by looking, and I want to get to some other New Testament passages.
There's so much in this passage though, but notice what he's saying there, the Lord that
is in this passage.
It says here, the heart of her husband does safely trust in her so that he shall have
no need of spoil.
So what would be the opposite of that?
The opposite of that would be a husband cannot trust his wife, and as a result of not being
able to trust his wife, he needs a lot of spoil.
Now what is spoil?
Spoil is when they'd go out to warfare, right, and they'd defeat an enemy.
And then they would take the spoils, meaning they would take the belongings of those whom
they vanquished in battle.
So spoil is not the normal money that you earn when you go to work and you work by the
sweat of your brow and you get a paycheck.
That's not referred to as spoils.
Spoils would be some extra bonus money or bonus possessions that you're going out and
acquiring through warfare or through some other means.
It's not your normal work load and paycheck.
And here it's saying that the heart of her husband does safely trust her so that he shall
have no need of spoil, meaning that the money that he makes at his job is enough for him
to provide for his family.
He doesn't need some extra windfall of money to come in.
So that tells me that, you know, the not being able to trust her is that basically she's
going to abuse money or she's going to go out and spend money or waste money or cause
there to be extra money needed.
It says the heart of her husband does safely trust in her so that he shall have no need
of spoil.
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
So according to the Bible, a godly wife, a virtuous wife, is helpful to you.
You know, somebody who's not slowing you down as you try to serve God, but actually an asset
to you versus a liability.
And I'm just going through this verse by verse, it says in verse 13, she seeketh wool and
flax and worketh willingly with her hands.
Now I think some of this goes a little bit over our head today in 2013 because we have
so much technology, we don't really think about working with wool and flax.
But let me just briefly explain this to you.
A couple of weeks ago, my wife had this spinning wheel over at the house.
This lady brought over this spinning wheel, who knows what I'm talking about, for lots
of people.
Wow, okay.
I didn't know much about it.
But anyway, she had this spinning wheel and she was taking wool and spinning it into yarn.
And we look at, you know, I looked at this passage and out of about 18 verses that talk
about what the virtuous woman is doing with her time, I noticed that six of the verses
had to do with her making clothing.
Six out of 18 of these verses had to do with making clothing.
And we don't really think about that because what do we do?
We just go to the store and buy clothes, okay?
And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that.
Obviously technology is great in the sense that you don't have to make clothing in such
a labor-intensive way.
But if you think about how clothing used to be made and the way this passage describes
it, making it from wool, you know, first of all you have to raise the sheep.
And I, you know, I guess that would have been the husband's job.
You know, he's out, you know, dealing with the cattle, raising the sheep.
You know, you've got to raise the sheep and then you have to shear it.
But then after you shear the sheep, you have all this wool.
But I mean, think about it, have you ever, who's ever seen a sheep when it's been shorn?
It's just this clump of wool, right?
I mean, you're not going to make clothes out of that.
So there's a great process that the woman has to do at that point.
You know, she has to basically wash it because it's dirty.
She has to wash it.
She has to comb it.
And then she has to spin it into yarn.
And I don't even think that they had the type of spinning wheel that my wife had back then.
I believe those were invented in the Middle Ages.
And so they had to go through this very laborious process of taking that wool, washing it, combing
it, and then spinning it into yarn.
Then taking that yarn and weaving it into fabric.
Then taking the fabric and cutting it out.
Then sewing the fabric.
Okay, now even if you ladies had a job of just make your own clothing and we'll give
you the fabric to start with.
You know, you could just start out with the fabric and you have to sew clothing for all
of your family without a sewing machine.
Now that would be a massive job, wouldn't it?
Wouldn't that be a very difficult job?
Let alone having to sit there and take the wool and turn it into yarn and weave it into
fabric and go through all that process before you've even begun to sew.
So this is what we're reading about in this passage.
With that in mind, look at verse number 19.
It says, she layeth her hands to the spindle and her hands hold the distaff.
Again, these are the implements for making the fabric.
It says in verse 21, she is not afraid of the snow for her household, for all her household
are clothed with scarlet.
Now why would she be afraid of the snow for her household?
Because of the workload of making the proper clothing to be able to get through a cold
It says in verse 22, she maketh herself coverings of tapestry, her clothing is silk and purple.
See all the talk about clothing?
Jump down to verse 24.
She maketh fine linen and selleth it and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
Strength and honor are her clothing, she shall rejoice in time to come.
Now the thing that jumped out at me as I was watching this lady and my wife with this spinning
wheel and just how much work and how much labor goes into something that seems so simple
as just having clothing, the thing that jumped out at me about this passage is that this
woman that's described as the virtuous woman is not only able to produce by hand enough
clothing for her whole family, and she's not afraid of the snow for her household, everybody's
got the clothes that they need, but not only that, she's producing a surplus of clothing
to the point where it says in verse number 24, she maketh fine linen and selleth it.
So it's not only is she making enough for her family, she's making extra and selling
it to bring in more money.
And then it says she maketh fine linen and selleth it and delivereth girdles unto the
merchant.
She's producing additional clothing for sale.
Now I think the key to this passage is found in verse 27 where it says, she looketh well
to the ways of her household and eateth not the bread of idleness.
So what is the moral of the story?
I'm not saying, hey, we need to go back to homespun clothing.
You know, hey, you need to work your fingers to the bone every day making clothing from
sunup to sundown.
That's not what I'm saying, but I'm saying here that according to the Bible, according
to God's word, according to Lemuel's mother who's trying to teach him what a godly woman's
attributes are, one of the biggest attributes of a godly woman is that she is not idle,
but rather she is busy, rather she is working, rather she is getting something productive
done.
Now in 2013, what ladies do today that would be productive or helpful to their household
is not going to be necessarily the same as it was thousands of years ago when they didn't
just go to the store and buy clothing that's made on a machine in a distant country.
They had to make their own clothing.
I mean the two greatest needs that the Bible talks about are food and clothing.
I mean if you think about it in the Bible, it was a big deal when Samson and his friends
are getting together, they're all very wealthy and they want to make a bet.
What are they betting with?
Changes of raiment, changes of garment.
And often when somebody wanted to really give somebody a very nice, expensive gift in the
Bible, what was it?
A change of raiment, a change of clothing, a change of garment.
Remember how excited they were to get ahold of Jesus's clothes when they crucified him?
When they crucified Jesus Christ, they were so greedy and evil as they're killing this
innocent man that if you remember, they cast garments, or they cast lots on his garments
and they divided his garments and cast lots upon his vesture because clothing was very
valuable and very expensive and those are two of man's greatest needs, food and clothing.
You know the man is out working hard to produce food.
90% of people used to be farmers or at least deal with cattle.
And then the ladies are producing the clothing.
And the Bible is real clear here that what makes a virtuous woman in God's eyes is a
woman who is not idle.
And what does it mean to be idle?
Well if you would go to 1 Timothy chapter 5 and I'll show you what the Bible says about
idleness in respect to ladies.
The Bible talks about in 1 Timothy chapter 5 the subject of widows and it's explaining
the fact that, you know, if a lady who is under 60 years old and her husband dies, how
it's best for that woman to get remarried so that she does not become idle because she
doesn't have anything to do.
And that's what's being explained here in 1 Timothy 5.
Start in verse number 9.
It says, "'Let not a widow be taken into the number under threescore years old, having
been the wife of one man, well reported of for good works, if she brought up children,
if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved
the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work.
But the younger widows refuse, for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ they
will marry, having damnation because they have cast off their first faith.
And with all they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house.'"
So here we get a little more in depth of what God's talking about when He talks about idleness
in women.
He says, "'With all they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not
only idle, but tattlers also, and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.
I will therefore that the younger women," meaning younger than 60, "'marry, bear children,
guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully, for some
are already turned aside after Satan.'"
And so what is the Bible teaching here?
It's teaching that idleness, and first of all let me just define the word idle for you
in case you don't know what it means.
When you are in your car and you're not driving anywhere, but the engine is running, what
do we call that?
You're idling, right?
When you're just sitting at the red light, the engine's running, but you're not going
anywhere, you're not doing anything, you're just sitting there and you're not driving.
That is called idling the vehicle, okay?
So a woman who is idle, or a man who is idle, is basically someone who is not doing anything,
right?
And when we say not doing anything, we mean not doing anything productive, not doing anything
that has any value to themself, to their family, to the Lord.
They're just sitting around just idling, just getting nothing done.
The word that would be associated with this would be laziness.
People who are lazy, and often in the book of Proverbs, laziness and idleness go hand
in hand.
You know, you're lazy, so you sit around, you do nothing, you don't get anything done.
Now here it says with all they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house,
and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies speaking things which they are not.
So the Bible is saying idleness is bad enough in a woman, just getting nothing done, sitting
around, wasting the day.
And you know, modern day this would be sitting in front of a soap opera all day.
You know, this would be just sitting around and playing a video game all day.
You know, we think of video games as being a guy thing, but honestly there are women
who get caught up in a computer video game.
You know, is that something productive?
Is that spinning woolen flax with your hand?
You know, or is that just idleness and just a waste of time?
And look, it's one thing to play around with something for a little recreation, but when
this becomes a lifestyle of daily idleness, and then it says this, but not only idleness,
because idleness would be bad enough, but taking it a step further beyond idleness,
they become tattlers and busybodies.
Now what is a tattler, or what does it mean to tattle?
When you were a kid, you remember people would talk about somebody being a tattletail?
What's the tattletail?
It's somebody who tells on someone else.
You know, remember when you were a kid, I'm telling, I'm going to tell on you.
Is that what you used to say when you were a kid too?
You know, I'm going to tell, I'm going to tell, I'm telling, I'm telling.
It's when you basically take something bad that you've heard about someone else or that
you know about someone else and you take great joy in just spreading that everywhere, spreading
that gospel to every creature.
You know, the gospel is the good news, right?
The Bible says how beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace and
bring glad tidings of good things.
You know, when we go out and preach the gospel, we're bringing the good news that Jesus Christ
died on the cross for all our sins.
He was buried and rose again the third day according to the Scriptures, and that whosoever
believeth in him should not perish but have eternal life.
Hey, that's great news that Jesus paid it all, that it's easy to be saved, that salvation
is the free gift of God, eternal life, everlasting life.
That's a great message.
But you know what?
There are those who enjoy spreading bad news, and what they do is they enjoy it when other
people fall.
They enjoy it when other people make a mistake or do wrong and they just like to carry around
the latest scuttlebutt.
You know, they like to tell everybody negative things about other people, and you know, especially
when it's about your brother and sister in Christ, you know, is that a shameful thing?
To just delight in gossiping, and that would be the term that we would use today.
It's not a biblical term.
We use the term gossiping.
Did you hear about so-and-so?
Now look, there are just more important things to do with your time than to be an idling
tattler, and look, a busybody.
It says they become tattlers and busybodies.
Now if you study the word busybody in the Bible, in other places it says they are busybodies
about other men's matters.
So the Bible kind of defines that word for us.
You say, what's a busybody?
It's somebody who's always worried about everybody else's business instead of worrying about
their own business.
Now the Internet has greatly facilitated this activity of being an idling, tattling, busybody.
Why?
Because with the Internet, we can pretty much stalk the activities of every single person
on the planet if we wanted to, right?
I mean pretty much whoever we want, we can pretty much follow every event of their life.
Case in point, a Facebook friend.
I've got fourteen, fifteen hundred of them.
And the thing is, if I wanted to, I could make a full-time job of just following every
twist and turn of my fourteen, fifteen hundred Facebook friends.
Let's say you have two hundred, three hundred, five hundred, two thousand, I mean there are
people with five thousand of them.
You know, and it could become a full-time job of basically worrying about everything
that is happening in the life of every schoolmate that I went to third grade with.
You know, I want to know what they're doing today.
I want to know what they've had for dinner today.
You know, I want to know what, you know, what their relationship status is.
You know, and it can become, it can become, and again, I'm not trying to be rude or unkind,
I'm just saying, it can become a substitute for productive activity in our lives.
Where Bible reading gets sacrificed, where prayer gets sacrificed, where soul winning
gets sacrificed, where, you know, taking care of the household is what we're talking about
in this case, becomes sacrifice.
You know, taking care of a household is a full-time job.
It's more than a full-time job, it's overtime.
I mean, if you think that my wife spends 40 hours a week working to care for and raise
and educate and feed and clothe seven children, you've got another thing coming.
I mean, to feed, clothe, care for, and teach seven children takes a lot more than 40 hours
a week.
That is much more than a full-time job.
It's a difficult job, it could be a tedious job, it could be a physically demanding job,
but yet that is the job that God has given her, and she does it very well.
She puts a lot of effort into it, but there are many ladies out there, I guarantee you,
that are spending far less than 40 hours a week taking care of their family, far less
than 40 hours a week taking care of the household, and therefore the household suffers.
Therefore children's education suffers, therefore their husband suffers because they're eating
the bread of idleness.
Sitting around, eating bread, but not working, not getting anything done, not being productive,
being idle, being a toddler, being a busybody.
The Bible says the opposite of that is that they should marry, bear children, guide the
house.
That's going to keep you busy right there, that is going to keep you from being these
things.
Go back to Proverbs 31 if you would, back in the Old Testament.
So we see here that the most important aspect that's emphasized in Proverbs 31 about a virtuous
woman, and the greatest advice that this mother is giving unto her son is to say, look son,
this is the type of woman that is righteous.
This is the one that's godly.
This is the one that feareth the Lord.
She looketh well, verse 27, to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of
idleness, meaning she is doing a good job at caring for the household.
And look, you can either do a good job, ladies, of caring for the house, or you can do a poor
job of caring for the house.
I mean look, let me just break it down to you in this way.
And you say, how dare you preach this, you're a man, but I'm just preaching the Bible though.
I don't have to apologize for preaching what the Bible says.
You know I've heard people say, well women need to preach something like this.
You need to get a woman to preach this to women because then it'll be taken better from
a woman to woman.
Frankly, I don't really care how this is taken.
This is Bible preaching.
I'm a man of God that's been commanded to preach the entire Bible.
I'm very comfortable preaching this subject because it's very clearly spelled out in the
Bible here.
But you know, there is a way to look well to the ways of your household, and then the
opposite of that exists, doesn't it?
Looking poorly to the ways of your household, eating the bread of idleness, basically one
who invests very little time and energy into her household.
What does that mean?
Well for example, when it comes to the clothing, you know that's not really much of an issue
in our day because clothing is just so cheap, you go to the store and buy, I mean it literally
costs more to make your own clothing.
I mean it costs a lot more to make your, I mean if you make your own clothing today,
it's either as a hobby or you're doing it just because you want a certain type of clothing
and you're having trouble finding exactly what you want, so you want to make a really
nice garment that's exactly to your specifications that would be very, very expensive to buy.
But as far as just basic clothing that you and I wear, I mean it's more expensive to
make it.
Just to get the equipment, to get the fabric, you're going to spend more.
So clothing is not really the issue, but you know food is still a big issue today as far
as what women can either spend time on or just poorly.
Look at the scriptures on that subject.
It says in verse number 15, she riseth also while it is yet night and giveth meat to her
household and a portion to her maidens.
Look, to me that doesn't look like throwing a hungry man in the microwave because you
don't have to get up in the middle of the night to do that.
And so here's the thing, there are different types of food that we can eat today.
Now food, there are a couple things involved with food.
First of all there's money to purchase the food that's needed, right?
But then there's also a lot of labor involved in preparing good food, is there not?
Now look if you would at the Bible.
It says in verse number 14, she is like the merchant ships, she bringeth her food from
afar.
That is the cost aspect of food.
That is basically finding the food at a good price.
That's what we find in verse number 14.
And then in verse 15 we see the labor involved in preparing that food.
And so we see both aspects in verses 14 and 15.
Then in verse 16 it says she considerth the field and buyeth it with the fruit of her
hand she planteth a vineyard.
So there's gardening going on to further increase the food supply.
It says in verse 17, she girdeth her loins with strength and strengtheneth her arms.
She perceiveth that her merchandise is good and her candle goeth not out by night.
And on and on it begins to go into the fact that she's going to make all this clothing
and put all this work into that.
Let me explain this.
You know, when it comes to feeding your family, ladies, and you know, single girls should
be listening to this because this is important doctrine here from the Bible.
When it comes to feeding your family, you can either do it poorly or you can do it well.
Okay?
And what I mean by that is that, you know, doing it well would be a healthy, nutritious
meal because the Bible says we should eat for strength and not for drunkenness.
You know, we don't live to eat, we eat to live.
And so the goal of good cooking is to provide a nutritious, healthy, quality meal that's
not going to make you sick.
You know, it's going to make you healthy, it's going to keep you strong, and it's going
to be economical.
Let me explain something to you.
Eating out is not economical because when you go out to eat, you know, 80% of that you're
paying for is the building, the workers, the preparation, the advertising.
Okay, you're not paying for the food, you're paying for the experience.
Now look, I think that going out to eat is great as a luxury, as a fun thing, as an extra
thing, okay?
But eating out should not be, in my opinion, a way of life.
Because it is neither economical nor healthy.
And you know, you might find a rare exception of a restaurant that is healthy, but by and
large the costs are being cut on making the food.
And the way for, and remember, this is a woman where her husband has no need of spoil because
he's looking well to the ways of the household, he doesn't need spoil.
The money that he's bringing home is able to go the distance.
And again, look, you say, well what about the men?
Well that's another sermon.
And I've preached many sermons where I railed and yelled at the men and told them, you know,
you've got to go out and work, and you know, if you have to work two jobs.
You know, there's a whole other sermon about men providing.
There's a whole other sermon about men working hard.
It's not just women that are supposed to work hard.
You know, men can be idle.
Women go to work and sit around and fool around and do nothing, and then they don't get to
keep that job, they don't get promoted, or they don't even get a job in the first place.
You know, that's a whole other sermon, but right now we're dealing with the ladies in
this particular sermon, and in this sermon we can say, you know what?
There's a difference with how you feed your family.
You know, if you cook from scratch, if you cook from scratch, it's both more economical
and it is healthier.
It's both.
Because you know, you're not feeding your family a bunch of laboratory chemicals and
a bunch of additives and preservatives that are associated with prepackaged, ready-made
foods that are easy, time-saving foods of just grab a box, you know, it's ready in 10
minutes, but it's not healthy.
All the nutrition is gone from it.
It's filled with preservatives and artificial things, and you know, not only are you, you
think you're saving money, but you're going to pay down at the hospital eventually, you
know, for what you're doing to your body and the bodies of your family, but not only that,
but look, you're spending the same amount of money in the end.
Because if you buy the ingredients and you cook from scratch, you can make an economical
meal that is actually healthy, but it's labor intensive.
You know, for example, baking a loaf of bread takes a lot of work, takes a lot of energy.
It's a lot easier just to buy a loaf of Wonder Bread, you know, the one that's the white
bread where you can squeeze the whole loaf into the size of a Super Bowl.
You know, it almost proves the theory of the Big Bang, you know, that you could cram that
much matter into that small of a space.
I'm just kidding, I don't believe in the Big Bang, but you know, to be able to cram that
much matter into space, you're like, the Big Bang's starting to make sense, you know, because
they think the whole universe was crammed so small it was like a dot that you couldn't
even see it, you know.
I mean, it's the universe of Wonder Bread apparently, but you know, you can sit there
and say, well why would I bake bread, I'm just going to go buy a loaf of bread.
That bleached out, processed bread with no vitamins, no nutrition, no minerals in it,
and you know, yeah, you can tell your husband, here honey, thanks for working so hard today,
here's a bologna sandwich on Wonder Bread.
I mean, that's not looking well to the ways of your household, I'm sorry.
And you say, well I can't afford to eat healthy.
You know, you cut out eating out, you buy ingredients that are raw, basic ingredients,
beans, rice, fruits, vegetables, you know, you shop around, you bring it from afar, you
do what you need to do, and look, it takes out, my wife spends hours cooking every day.
How many hours do you think you spend cooking every day?
Sorry to put you on the spot.
Two or three hours a day, I think she spends more than that.
You know, two or three hours a day of cooking, plus, you know, the clean up, plus everything
else involved.
So it's just a lot easier just to open a can, right, just put it in the can opener.
But those prepared foods are more expensive, they're unhealthy, and you know, it's just,
and then what are you doing with all that time?
What are you doing with your time?
Because the Bible says that this is what you're supposed to be spending your time on.
You say, well I have all these other important things.
Well what does the Bible say is important?
Feeding and clothing your family is what this woman is spending her time on.
She's getting up early to make food, she's making clothes, she's making, I mean that's
what, look, am I making this stuff up?
I mean that's what the time's going into, and so if this is not what your time is going
into, ladies, you need to reevaluate, you know, the time that you're putting into your
household.
That's your main job.
You know, teaching your children, training them, bringing them up in the nurture and
admonition of the Lord.
Not just shut them up with a cookie, shut them up with a prepackaged snack so I can
go back to farmland, or I can go back to bejewel me or whatever, you know what I mean?
Or mafia war or whatever.
I'm going to go back to my video game now.
I'm going to go back to finding out what my fifth grade classmate is doing with their
life right now.
I need to get back to watching movies and watching TV and watching soap operas and watching
the reality show.
I'm too busy to homeschool my children.
I just don't know how anybody can homeschool, you know what, I don't even understand why
you even have children if you're going to just drop them off at the government schools
so they can be brainwashed to be a wicked, God-hating pervert.
And I'm not saying that's how they're going to turn out, but that's the goal of that system,
to make them turn out that way.
And if they don't turn out that way, it's going to be a miracle, and you've got to thank
God every day for it.
I mean if you can get out of that place without being corrupted, you're an amazing person.
And you have an amazing family.
Because I'm telling you, that is the goal, that place is run by Satan, the public school
is run by the devil himself, obviously he has an authority structure, he has little
devils working under him at the school boards and school district levels.
I'm going to tell you something, I'm not ashamed to tell you that institution is run by Satan,
it promotes sodomy, it promotes godlessness, atheism, evolution, humanism, perversion,
relativism, I mean we could go down the list of the abominations of public school, but
ladies today, they want to eat the bread of idleness, so they drop their child off
at public school and say here, raise my child for me.
But why even have a child if you're giving it unto Satan to be raised?
The purpose of producing children is so that you can bring them up in the nurture and admonition
of the Lord.
Not so that they can be raised by the devil, and raised by the world, and raised by his
crowd.
You know, we should raise our own children, and look, it's just an excuse to eat the bread
of idleness.
Drop my kid off at school so that I can do nothing all day, and you say oh but I'm so
busy, but it's easy to become busy with the wrong things, it's called being a busy body.
See the busy body thinks they're busy, God says you're idle, because when God sees you
doing things that are unproductive and that don't matter, he looks at that as idleness.
Oh but I'm so busy, you have no idea how busy I am.
But busy with all the wrong things.
Are you busy cooking?
Because that's what the Bible says you're supposed to be busy doing.
Are you busy making nutritious food for your family?
Are you busy speaking the word of God to your children when the Bible commands you in Deuteronomy
6 as a parent to talk to your child about the word of God, when thou risest up and when
thou sittest down?
Are you busy reading the Bible to your children, which they're not going to get in school?
Are you busy teaching them the precepts and principles of the word of God?
Are you busy feeding, clothing, educating, loving, training, and spending quality time
with your children, talking to them, conversing with them?
And you know, you wonder why some children don't have any social skills or the ability
to talk to others and interact with others.
It's because they're not being interacted with by their parents, that's why.
Parents who talk to their children and spend time with their children, those kids grow
up and they're able to talk and interact with people because they've been talked and
interacted with.
Not just sat in front of the idiot box all day with drool streaming out of their mouth.
You know what, and listen to me, it's tempting with the technology that we have today and
that's why this sermon needs to be preached.
I'm not trying to be unkind or harsh with anyone, I'm just preaching the sermon to help
motivate you because it's what women need to hear today in 2013.
Because it's so tempting with the technology to just stick them in front of a video.
Just every day, that's the routine man, just stick them in front of a video.
And often times you tell yourself, oh this is a really educational video.
And I'm not saying that an educational video doesn't have its place.
But what I'm saying is when that's just the routine of just I'm going to stick you in
front of a video so that I can go do whatever that doesn't matter, that isn't as important,
that is a bad routine and it's very tempting to do so, but you know what, your heart is
not being knit to your child like it should and you're not spending the quality time speaking
the Word of God and teaching your child how to read, teaching your child math and science
and history.
These are things that your child needs to know and grow up and be wise and have knowledge
and understanding.
And you know what, you can either do all that to say this, you can either do a good job
at it according to the Bible or you can do a poor job at it.
You can look well to the ways of your household or you can eat the bread of idleness.
And you know, you can either just blow a bunch of money all the time and just say, you know
what, I don't have time so I'm just going to buy all the food out, I'm just going to
buy the most expensive clothes and expensive ready-made food I can find and then I'm going
to come home and complain to my husband that he doesn't make enough money.
Or you can go out and say, you know what, I'm going to save money, I'm going to get
the deals, I'm going to find the right prices, I'm going to make things from scratch, I'm
going to make food from scratch and then my husband's not going to have any need of spoil
because I'm being wise and a good steward of the trust that he's given me.
And listen, husbands should be able to trust their wives.
You know, I'm not one who micromanages my wife.
You know, I'm not a type of person in my home where I'm constantly telling her what to do
and constantly dictating to her every aspect of her life and telling her, you know, at
this time you're going to do this, at this time you're going to do this, at this time
you're going to do this, go to the store and buy this, this, this, and this.
Now I thank God I don't have to do that, you know, because why?
I can just trust her.
And that's how it should be in a marriage, ideally, is that the husband, and look, this
is a biblical doctrine, look at verse 11, the heart of her husband to safely trust in
her so that he shall have no need of spoil.
I remember when I first got married, I didn't really know my wife that well.
You know, and obviously no one when they first get married really knows their wife that well.
Because obviously getting married allows you to know someone in a much deeper way than
you know somebody before you're married.
That's why the Bible says, you know, Adam knew his wife even.
I know that that's referring to something else, but still the concept is there of the
fact that, you know, you know somebody that you're married to more than somebody that
you're not married to.
I remember when we first got married, I had only known my wife for a short time.
We didn't really know each other that well.
And I remember thinking to myself, you know, I don't want to go out and go to work all
day and by the sweat of my brow and have my wife at home sitting and watching TV all day.
That's what I thought to myself.
And, you know, turned out my wife has never even really been a big TV watcher, even before
she was saved, even before I knew her, she wasn't really a big TV watcher anyway.
But I'm just telling you, this is my thought process, because I knew that there are a lot
of wives out there that that's what they do.
They watch soap operas and they watch TV and they sit around.
And this is before the internet was very big, which has in some ways become another way
of idleness.
But I said, you know what, I don't want my wife sitting around watching TV all day.
And so this is before I was against TV, I just decided purposely I'm going to get rid
of the TV and not have a TV.
And so since we've been married, we've never owned a TV.
Because when I first got married, I just said, you know what, I'd rather that my wife is
doing something productive.
And I told my wife, I said, we're not going to have a TV because you should be doing something
productive with your time.
And she said, well, what am I going to do?
She said, I don't have any children yet, I don't have a job, what do I do with my time?
And I said, you know what, I said, you know, just cook me three awesome meals a day.
Just really hit it out of the park.
Because there are people who are full time chefs, right?
And I said, you know, take care of paying the bills, take care of cleaning the house.
And I said, read the Bible.
I said, you know, you haven't really been saved that long, you need to catch up on Bible
reading, you know, you're 21 years old and, you know, there's a lot to learn.
I said, read the Bible.
And I said, you know, volunteer down at the church.
You know, there's all kinds of stuff that you can do that's productive with your time.
And that's exactly what she did.
She went down, she volunteered down at the church, she helped out in the church office,
she was, you know, reading a ton of Bible, she was cooking meals, she was bringing me
pancakes in bed, you know, that was good while it lasted until the first child, you know.
Those early days are great when it's just, you know, when it's just the two of you, you
know, and it's just that full time homemaker.
Those are the days.
Anyway, I'm just, I'm just, I'm happier now, but I'm just saying.
But anyway, it had its own, it had its own perks, you know, in those days.
But anyway, you know, and I just, I just didn't want her to be idle, you know.
I wanted her to do something that mattered with life.
Because I'm thinking to myself, I'm doing something that matters.
I'm out working, that's productive.
I want my wife to be productive while she's at home.
You know, and I don't want to have to micromanage, and here's the thing, I give my wife a lot
of trust because, you know, sometimes I even go out of town for three days on end.
You know, and I'm not there, I don't have a camera system where I dial it up on my smartphone.
Honey, still in your nightgown at, you know, 10 o'clock, what's going on, you know, you
going to make breakfast?
What's the deal?
You know, I've been looking at the kitchen view camera and it's been empty for the last,
you know, five days, but I'm just saying, you know, I don't want to have to micromanage
my wife and tell her what to do, you know, I'd rather just give my wife a ton of freedom
and just say, do what you want.
Do it how you want.
Cook what you want.
Buy what you want.
And just my heart to just be able to safely trust in her.
So ask yourself, is that the type of woman that you are where you say, you know what,
my husband can safely trust in me without having to feel like he needs to go spoil the
Egyptians every week just to pay the bills, you know what I mean?
And so, you know, there's a lot of great things in this passage as we go down here.
But here's another key.
Let's look at another key.
So we really focused on the hardworking, busy element because frankly that's 90% of this
chapter.
But look if you would at verse number 26, it says, she openeth her mouth with wisdom
and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
You know, this shows me that a godly, righteous woman, because that's what we're talking about,
how to be a virtuous woman.
Number one is to be a hard worker and to make your household the priority.
You're looking well to the ways of your household.
Taking care of your husband and children in the house is your priority.
That's what you're spending your time on.
You're making breakfast well, you're making lunch well, you're making dinner well, you're
doing a good job, you're not eating the bread of idleness, you're not just constantly just
throwing in a frozen dinner, throwing it, you know, let's, you know, we got to go out
to McDonald's again, okay?
But not only that, a godly, righteous woman is a woman who has intelligence that comes
from the Word of God.
You know, and when the Bible's talking about wisdom here, she openeth her mouth with wisdom,
what does that mean?
It means that she knows what she's talking about.
It means when she says something, it's right, it makes sense, it lines up with the Word
of God.
Because look, the Bible says the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God.
When the Bible talks about wisdom, it's talking about the fear of the Lord as the beginning
of wisdom.
And so when she opens her mouth, she is speaking things that are consistent with the Word of
God, you know, you could go to her for advice and she's going to give you good advice, righteous
advice, godly counsel is going to come out of her mouth.
She opens her mouth with wisdom.
Now look, in order to open your mouth with wisdom, wouldn't you need to know the Bible
very well?
Because isn't this the spring and source of all wisdom?
So that tells me that young girls and teenage girls and young wives and mothers, they should
spend a lot of time reading their Bibles, because you know what, out of the abundance
of the heart, the mouth speaketh.
How are you going to open your mouth with wisdom unless your heart is filled with the
Word of God?
You know, filling your ears with the preaching of God's Word, reading the Bible, getting
knowledge and wisdom and understanding.
You see, it's not just about being a robot.
It's not just about just being, you know, this mindless drone or slave, which is what
the world will try to portray biblical Christianity and biblical roles as, oh you just want your
wife to be this, you know, drone in the kitchen, you know, all day just slaving and working
and not, you know, not expanding her mind down at the university.
The university is filling your mind with scum, okay?
When the Bible talks about a virtuous woman, she's not, she's not a, what's the word, she's
not a dunce, she's not a dummy.
I mean does this look like we're reading about a dummy?
I mean she's considering a field, she's buying it, she's bringing her food from afar, she
is opening her mouth with wisdom, meaning when she talks it's not like, you know, God
bless her, she's beautiful, you know what I mean?
You pretty little thing, don't you, you know, isn't that cute?
She says the darndest things, you know, no, you know, she opens her mouth with wisdom,
I mean when she says something, something you're going to take seriously.
There's intelligence there, there's logic there, there's wisdom there, there's understanding
there, and look, the Bible is what makes you wise.
The Bible says that the word of the Lord is making wise the simple.
The simple woman is made wise by the word of God.
The simple man is made wise and intelligent by the word of God.
I've noticed people's general intelligence go up when they get saved, I've noticed it.
I've seen people that I wonder the Lord that were not the sharpest tool in the shed and
they started reading the Bible and studying God's word and I just noticed them becoming
more intelligent and articulate in other areas of life because God's word brings wisdom.
That's why our school system is producing a bunch of idiots that can barely read or
write because the word of God infuses knowledge, infuses intelligence, infuses understanding
and wisdom.
And the Bible says she openeth her mouth with wisdom.
When she talks, things are coming out that are coming from a heart that has studied and
understood God's word and has meditated upon its precepts.
And then look at the next phrase, and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
Now what would be the opposite of this?
Basically unkind words coming out of her mouth, right?
So not only is she busy with the right things and productive with her time, not idle and
wasting time on just amusements and recreation all the time, okay?
Not only is she intelligent and wise and of an understanding heart, but also, you know,
she is kind in her speech and in her dealings with other people.
Go to 1 Peter chapter number 3, 1 Peter chapter number 3, and you know, we don't have time
to go into everything, but we could go through Proverbs and show you one of the biggest criticisms
of women in the book of Proverbs when he's criticizing, because you know there's a lot
of talk about good women and there's a lot of talk about bad women in the book of Proverbs.
There's a lot of talk about good men and bad men.
And one of the criticisms that comes against the wicked woman when he's describing the
wrong type of woman throughout the book of Proverbs is the word that she's loud and stubborn
or loud and contentious.
What is contentious?
Meaning argumentative.
So the Bible talks about the one who, it says it's better to dwell in the corner of the
housetop than with a loud and contentious woman.
It says the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping.
Now that is like that Chinese torture method, okay?
You know, the continual drop, it's like where they lay you out on your back and they drip
water on your forehead and you look at it and you say, that doesn't look that bad.
It's like people who look at waterboarding and they say, oh waterboarding, that's not
torture.
But then they do it to somebody and they're like, it's torture, it's the worst thing ever.
Because sometimes things are worse than what they look.
Now you know, if you ask me which torture would you like, you know, I'll say give me
that dripping thing.
Because you know, that sounds a lot better than, you know, I don't know, being drawn
and quartered or something, you know, I don't know.
It doesn't sound as bad as a lot of things I could think of to torture.
But you know, it's actually a horrible torture that drives people insane.
Where they lay them on their back, who knows what I'm talking about, and they just have
a continual drop of water on their forehead and it's just each, you know, each drop just
becomes like a ton of bricks.
And I don't understand it, but you know, then again, I'm not trying to be an expert
in torture.
But I'm just saying, the Bible says the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping.
So you know, again, it might be something that on the outside doesn't look like a big
deal to women when they're continually contentious and argumentative.
They may think like, this isn't a big deal.
It's just a drip of water, what's the big deal?
But it's torture!
You know what I mean?
That's what God's saying.
You know, so the thing that is constantly used to describe the wrong type of woman is
loud, stubborn, contentious, or argumentative, okay?
As opposed to in her tongue is the law of kindness.
Now look, isn't it possible, and I preached about this last Sunday night, but isn't it
possible to be strict without just being angry and enraged all the time?
I mean, is rage a necessary part of strictness?
No.
And so, you know, in your tongue, ladies, should be the law of kindness.
Not saying to go soft on the children.
You know, you definitely need to rule with a firm hand, ladies, you need to rule the
home and rule over your children with a rod of iron, you know what I mean?
But you need to also have in your tongue the law of kindness.
Kind things and kind words and forgiving words need to be coming out of your mouth.
Look at 1 Peter chapter 3.
It says in verse 1, likewise ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, that if
any obey not the word, they may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.
Meaning they're going to be won over by the conversation of the wives while they behold
your chaste conversation coupled with fear, talking about the fear of the Lord there,
whose adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair and of wearing
of gold or of putting on of apparel, but let it be the hidden man of the heart in that
which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit which is in the
sight of God of great price.
And so what we see next about the virtuous woman is that she's more concerned with what's
inside of her heart than with her outward appearance.
Doesn't say she riseth also while it is yet night that she may begin to apply her makeup.
That she may begin the toilette, you know, that's going to take hours and hours of primping
and preening and making herself look oh so perfect.
You know, the Bible says let the adorning not be the outward adorning of plaiting the
hair, of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel.
He said it's not about fancy clothes, fancy hairdo, fancy jewelry.
It says let it be the hidden man of the heart in that which is not corruptible.
Even the ornament, because ornament is the word the Bible uses about the accessories
or accoutrements that women wear, right?
Accessories, bracelets, watches, necklaces, earrings.
It says the real ornament is the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit.
Now what is meekness?
Meekness is the opposite of pride and arrogance and the Bible says pride and arrogance and
the froward tongue that the Lord hate.
You know, God hates pride and arrogance.
And so a woman should be meek and quiet, not loud, stubborn, arrogant.
Okay, now, a lot of women that are lifted up as role models today to our young people
out in the world, what are they?
Loud, arrogant, prideful, and stubborn.
You know, they have this attitude.
You look at the celebrities, you look at the music stars, the pop stars, the movie stars.
The women are these very independent, you know, I can do it all myself, I don't need
a man types, and that is not biblical.
And that is not who I want my children emulating.
I'm not going to let my daughters listen to that music or watch those movies.
Because I don't want them to think that that is what a woman should strive to be.
The Bible says a woman should strive to have a meek and quiet spirit which is in the sight
of God of great price.
Whoever who can find a virtuous woman for her price is far above rubies.
So we're talking about the same person here.
And it says in verse 5, for after this manner, in the old times, see this is called being
old fashioned.
In the old time, the holy women also who trusted in God adorned themselves, not with gold plated
hair, putting on of apparel, but with a meek and quiet spirit, it says they adorned themselves
being in subjection unto their own husbands.
Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord.
Now look, is that in your Bible or is it only in my Bible?
Who sees it?
I just want to make sure I haven't lost my mind, okay?
But when was the last time you heard that preached on?
You know, and what does the word Lord mean?
And by the way, don't get mixed up, we're not talking about the name of God.
God's name is also called the Lord.
That's not what we're talking about.
Throughout the Bible, the word Lord is used in two ways.
The word Lord is used to denote God as being the Lord, right?
But then also the word Lord is being used in the Bible just to denote anyone who is
in charge.
Anyone who is in charge is the Lord or their Lord, okay?
And in other languages this word is used very commonly.
Like for example, in Spanish, do you know what the word for Lord is?
Senor, right?
And I mean that's not something that you say, oh man, you know, I mean I don't have a Spanish
Bible in front of me, but I guess it's saying hey, Sarah called Abraham Senor, alright?
Never thought about that.
But you know, it's the same thing in German.
You know, like if you say in German, the Lord, talking about God, you call him Der Her, right?
But also if you just want to say Mr. Anderson, you'd say Herr Anderson, or Senor Anderson,
you know what I mean?
These are the type of words, because it used to be that that was a title that men carried.
You know, and in Spanish it's still like that, and in German it's still like that.
You know, that's a title that they carried.
And it says that Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord.
So calling him Lord had to do with obeying him.
Basically just acknowledging, hey, he's the boss.
That's what it's saying.
And it says, calling him Lord, whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well and are not
afraid with any amazement.
Likewise ye husbands dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as
unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers
be not hindered.
And if you remember when Sarah called Abraham Lord was in Genesis chapter 18, and in Genesis
chapter 18, when the Lord, the Lord, you know, the main Lord, and his two angels show
up and speak with Abraham, and tell her that, you know, she's going to have a child.
And she says, you know, how am I going to have a child when I'm old?
And she said, my Lord is old also.
That's where she called him Lord in the Old Testament.
So it's in the Old Testament and the New Testament.
And so what we see here in total, and I have more, but, you know, in total, what we see
here is a woman who, number one, is not idle.
She's productive with her time.
She gets up in the morning and doesn't just sit around, fool around, play around, just
killing time, just looking at the clock, just trying to burn through more hours.
No, she gets up, she's going somewhere, she's got stuff to do, she's got a plan for breakfast,
she's got a plan for lunch, she's got a plan for dinner, you know, she's got a plan to
build something and make something and do something with her life.
Not only that, but she's also filling her mind with the Word of God, with the truths
of God.
She's an intelligent person, not a dummy or a, what's the word, ditz, just a ditzy, just
a little ornament around the house or something.
There's nothing there, you know?
There's no brain there, okay?
She has intelligence and knowledge and that's going to come from learning the Word of God
more than anything and learning other things as well.
But then not only that, she opens her mouth and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
She speaks kindly, not in a rage all the time, not in anger all the time, not just always
mad at the kids, ah, these kids are going to drive me insane, you know, all the time.
Not just always mad at her husband, mad at him, he's not making enough money, he doesn't
fix things around the house, he didn't take me out to eat enough, he doesn't appreciate
me, you know, just mad all the time.
Mad at husband, mad at the kids, mad about everything, mad that the washing machine doesn't
work, you know?
I mean, you used to be the washing machine a few hundred years ago.
If it breaks every once in a while, you're going to be alright.
You know, my wife and I went to a museum a few weeks ago and it's amazing what they used
to have to go through to wash the clothes.
But not only that, it's a woman who has a meek and quiet spirit, who understands she's
in subjection to her husband, she has a godly attitude that's old-fashioned, an old-fashioned
attitude toward marriage and homemaking, and look, the world doesn't agree with anything
I've said today, but that's why I'm even saying it.
If you came to church and hear stuff that the world agrees with, you don't need to go
to church then, just turn on the TV if that's what you want.
But this is all biblical doctrine, I do not feel that I've added anything to the Word
of God today.
I believe that I've expounded it faithfully, what is written, and applied it unto 2013.
And that is my job as a preacher, and I pray that you will take what you've heard this
morning, not with anger, or who does he think he is, he doesn't understand what it's like
to give birth, I don't need to hear all that, okay?
I'm a man, I can preach the Bible to both genders, that's my job, okay?
And I, you know, hey, am I qualified?
Well, you know, I think every pastor is qualified to preach this sermon.
You know, and to preach any biblical sermon.
And so I pray that you would just let these words sink down into your ears, and look,
I'm not saying you're going to be perfect, I'm not saying I expect my wife to be perfect,
no wife is going to be perfect, and look, you might not get to the point of the virtuous
woman, you know, obviously that's setting a real high standard, but isn't this the standard
that you should be aiming at?
Aren't these the areas that you should be working on?
Isn't this the goal that you should strive for?
And you know, I could find godly men in the Bible and use them as role models, and I may
never attain unto Moses, or David, or I may never attain unto the Apostle Paul, but shouldn't
I look at the Apostle Paul and say he's a model that I can try to emulate?
Well that's what you ladies should do with Sarah and with the virtuous woman.
Let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer.
Father, we thank you so much for your word.
We thank you that it doesn't just have teaching for men, but it also has a lot of teaching
for women as well.
And so thank you for your word in regard to godly Christian women.
I pray that every lady that's here would take these things to heart and apply them to their
life.
I pray that every husband who has a wife that exhibits these qualities would appreciate
her and cherish her and understand the treasure that he has is a rare treasure.
And also I pray that young men would look for the right things.
You know, so many young men today are just going after just the most worldly, sinful
women that they can find just because of the way that they look on the outside that appeals
unto their flesh.
Help young men to have the wisdom to look for these type of attributes and not to look
for what the world is putting on display.
And help young women also to strive to have these attributes and character traits in their
life.
And in Jesus' name we pray, amen.