This is a great chapter, and one of the verses that jumped out at me just as we were reading it
kind of had to do with this morning's sermon where he said in verse 20,
"...giving thanks always for all things, unto God and the Father, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."
It has to do with what I was preaching this morning about Thanksgiving coming up this week, being thankful.
And look at verse 10, though. The Bible says in verse 10,
"...proving what is acceptable unto the Lord."
I like the short verse in the Bible that is succinct.
"...proving what is acceptable unto the Lord."
Now, unfortunately, what we consider acceptable, what we consider right, and what God considers acceptable,
are often two very, very different things.
And by the way, our society is not getting better. It's getting worse.
God told us that evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse.
We're on a downward spiral in America. We're on a downward spiral in the world.
And as the world gets further and further from what God preaches in the Bible,
more and more of what the world considers acceptable is going to be condemned by the Bible
because of the fact that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.
And so as the world changes and changes and changes, Jesus stays the same, the Bible stays the same,
God stays the same, His Word stays the same, there's a bigger and bigger gap
between what a real Bible preacher preaches and what the Bible says and what the world thinks about it
and what the world considers acceptable.
Now, what I want to preach about tonight is actually the latter part of the chapter, which talks about marriage.
It talks about husbands and wives and how to have a good marriage.
Now, some of you guys are probably just thinking,
well, I would just love to be married, you know, let alone have a good marriage.
I just want to have a marriage, okay?
And, you know, the Bible says, you know,
"...whoso find the wife, find it the good thing, and obtain faith with the Lord."
And, you know, I don't know what to tell you guys, but, you know, I just work harder, I guess.
But I want to talk about this tonight because one day you will be married
and you'll want to know how to have that good marriage.
Or, you know, young ladies that someday will be married and need to know these things, even my children,
and then those of us that are already married.
You know, we can use these things and we need this preaching
to help us have a marriage that's acceptable to God, that pleases God.
And let me tell you something,
it's not what the marriage seminar out there probably has to tell you from the world.
They're probably going to tell you the opposite of what the Bible is going to tell you.
And I'm not preaching my opinion tonight.
I'm preaching Ephesians chapter 5 and other places in the Bible.
Let's start where God starts.
He says in verse 22, this is where it gets on the subject of marriage.
He says, "...wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord."
Now, what does the word submit mean?
Does anybody have any idea what the word sub means?
Have you ever heard of a submarine?
Think about it.
A submission is basically putting yourself under someone else's authority.
That's what it is.
Sub means under.
And it says, "...wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church,
and he is the savior of the body.
Therefore, as the church is subject unto the Christ,
so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything."
Now, stop and think about this.
If God here is telling us that the way the wife submits to their husband
should be equivalent to the way that the church is subject unto Christ,
He said that twice.
Now, that's a pretty strong statement, because as far as I know,
I mean, if you came to church tonight,
you probably expect the church to be subject to Christ, not Pastor Anderson's opinion.
I mean, to what extent should we let Christ be the authority in our church?
To what extent should the Bible determine what we believe, what we preach, what we do?
You say, well, Pastor Anderson, the Bible is the sole authority of all matters of faith and practice.
You'd say, if this is a Baptist church, of course the Bible, God's word, Jesus Christ,
would be the authority.
Not a man, not the pastor, not some other pastor in another city,
not some pope or some president or some apostle.
Or, you know, they have the president of the Southern Baptist Convention.
They have the Archbishop of Canterbury.
They have the pope in Rome.
They have this prophet and this deacon.
No, the Bible teaches that Christ is the head of the church.
And you say, Pastor Anderson, everything we believe needs to be determined by Jesus Christ in the Bible.
But wait a minute.
If the church is subject unto Christ, the Bible says,
even so, let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Now you say, oh man, I can't believe that.
I don't agree with that.
Then you don't believe the Bible.
Why are you in a Baptist church if you don't believe the Bible?
If you think that wives should not submit to their husbands, if you don't think that a wife has to be subject to her husband and everything,
why do you even believe the Bible if you don't believe Ephesians 5?
If you don't believe Ephesians 5, why even believe John 3.16?
Because it's the same Bible.
And you say, oh, but that flies in the face of everything that the world says.
Yes, and the world is wicked and the world's wrong, but the truth of the Lord endureth forever.
And so you can light it or lump it.
This is what the Bible teaches.
He says in verse number 23, said, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church and he is the savior of the body.
Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
You say, Pastor Anderson, that's not the formula for a good marriage.
What is the formula for a good marriage?
What the world has with their 75% divorce rate?
Is that the way they have a good marriage?
Is it the way where the world says where mom goes to work and dad goes to work and dad's flirting with this secretary and mom's flirting with this guy on the job and they see each other at the end of the day and they split the chores and they split the bills and they have separate bank accounts?
Look, I don't care what the world says.
I don't care what's normal.
I don't care what the American way is.
I care what the Bible says.
Now I'm going to tell you something.
The Bible says there's a leader in the home and that's the man.
It's the man.
Now, people will say, well, you know, you're saying that men are better than women.
That's not what I'm saying.
I believe that men and women are equal.
I believe that God said that in Christ there's neither male nor female, neither bond nor free.
It's not that one is better than the other.
It's two different functions that God created and God created the man to be an authority according to the Bible
and God put the woman under the man's authority.
Not that one is better than the other.
It's just different roles.
I mean, am I better than you because I'm the pastor of the church?
No.
But I am the pastor of the church.
I have authority in the church, but does that make me better than you?
No.
Your boss may not be better than you, but he's your boss at work.
I'm talking about when you go to the job.
Let's say you know more about the job than your boss does.
He's still the boss because of that authority.
It's not a question of who's better or worse.
Think about this.
You have a dishwasher and a washing machine in your house.
Which one's better?
One of them is better at washing the clothing and one of them is better at washing the dishes.
And it has nothing to do with which one's better.
They have a different function.
And according to God here, in order to have a marriage that pleases God, the wife is subject under the husband.
You can't have this two-headed monster where you've got two different opinions going two different directions.
There has to be one leader.
And that is the man according to the Bible.
Look at verse number 25.
It says, husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it,
that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
that he might present it to himself, a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing,
but that it should be holy and without blemish.
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies.
He that loveth his wife loveth himself, for no man ever yet hated his own flesh,
but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the Church.
For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife,
and they too shall be one plate.
So here we see the flip side.
So the first thing he says, and let me just lay this down,
the wife is to be subject under her husband's authority in everything.
Just as Christ is the head of the church, the husband is the head of the wife.
It's the same parallel authority.
And then he said, but wait a minute, as the husband, your job is to love your wife,
and just as the church is subject to Christ, that authority,
you're to have as much love for your wife as Christ had for the church.
So that's pretty extreme too, because one of them you say, well that's kind of extreme,
that a wife is supposed to obey their husband and submit to their husband.
But then you turn to the flip side, and the husband is supposed to have as much love for his wife,
and he's supposed to be so self-sacrificing to his wife, just as much as Christ was for the church.
I should be willing to lay down my life for my wife.
I should love her so much that I'm going to give of myself.
I'm going to nourish her, it says in verse 29, cherish her even as the Lord of the church.
Now keep your finger here, and look over at Colossians.
This is just a few pages to the right of your Bible.
Look at Colossians chapter number 3.
And Colossians 3 and Ephesians 5 are kind of parallel passages,
where Paul is pretty much preaching about the same thing.
Of course it's God's work, as all scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine.
But look at Colossians chapter number 3 and verse number 18, the Bible says,
wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
And then it says, husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
Now, think about this.
What did Jesus Christ do for us when he died on the cross?
Because he said in the same way that Jesus gave himself for us,
he said that's how we should be toward our wives.
And in the same way that we're supposed to obey Christ, the wife is supposed to obey her husband.
This marriage is basically a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church.
That's what it signifies.
That's the picture.
When we get married, that's the picture of Jesus Christ and the church.
It's symbolic.
And so basically, if you look at what Jesus Christ did when he came to this earth,
he was beaten, he was spat upon, he was whipped, he was mocked, he was made fun of, he was abused.
And if you remember, when he hung on the cross, he said,
Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.
I mean, these are the people that had spat in his face, buffeted him, whipped him, made fun of him, rebuked him.
And he could have called upon, I think he said, six score legions of angels.
He said, I could call upon these angels to come and set me free.
But he said, how then should the scripture be fulfilled?
He had so much love that he was obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.
And when he was on that cross, he had nothing but love and forgiveness for those for whom he was dying,
even the one who nailed him to the cross, who may have even gotten saved,
because he did say when it was all said and done,
truly this was the son of God.
I believe that he believed on Jesus Christ at that time,
when he acknowledged him as the son of God, the savior of the world.
And so, as husbands, what character do you think we should have,
more than any other character as a husband?
Now you say love, but wait a minute, how did God show his love?
By forgiving.
See, that's why it says here, it says,
love your wives and be not bitter against them.
You see, bitterness is when you can't let things go.
It's when you can't forgive.
You know, if somebody does something wrong,
and you can't move on from that, and it just eats away at you,
you become bitter, you become mad, you hold a grudge, you harbor feelings.
Now wait a minute, if Jesus Christ could forgive us of all our sins,
can't we forgive our brother and sister in Christ?
And even so much more, as a husband,
can't we forgive our wife if she said something wrong?
Even if she said something horrible to us.
They said horrible things to Jesus, and he loved, he forgave.
They said things to Jesus Christ, they spat upon him, they beat him.
Now if your wife beats you up and spits on you, no I'm just kidding.
But anyway, if she did, be not bitter about it.
But anyway, the point is, that if Jesus Christ had this supreme love,
as evidenced by his forgiveness, where he said,
Father forgive them, they know not what they're doing.
That's the love he's commanding us to have,
that's why he's telling us, be not bitter against them.
Hey, when you wake up in the morning,
when God caused the sun to rise on a new day,
you need to have all bitterness put apart,
because he said, let not the sun go down upon your wrath.
You shouldn't be mad today,
about something that happened yesterday.
And let me tell you something,
if I could give you the best advice for your marriage,
and probably if I could just tell people,
one thing to have a good marriage is,
you must let things go, you must forgive.
You cannot have a good marriage without forgiveness.
Because think about it, you're a sinner, as a man,
you're a sinner as a woman, and let me tell you something,
there are going to be bad things that both of you do.
You're both going to do things wrong,
you're both going to say things that you don't mean,
you're both going to say rude or harsh things
from time to time, you're both going to be selfish,
you're both going to commit sin,
and I'm going to tell you something,
if you hold a grudge about everything
that your spouse does wrong,
you will never be able to have a good marriage.
Because think about it, I've been married
for over nine years.
Well think about how many, probably,
times that I've offended my wife in those nine years.
And then think about all the times
that she's probably offended me in those nine years.
Well what if I was still mad about every wrong thing
she's said or done for the last nine years?
And if she's still mad at me and holding a grudge
for every wrong thing that I've done
in the last nine odd years,
do you think we're ever going to be able to get along
or have any kind of love in that relationship
or any kind of a bond or a friendship
that God expects us to have as a married couple?
Absolutely not.
And that's why we have to have this character of Christ's
love where we can forgive and let things go
and every day is a new start.
That's why he said,
let not the sun go down upon your wrath,
neither give place to the devil.
Because that's what's going to drive
the biggest wedge in marriage.
There's one thing that you must know
is just let things go, just drop it, just forgive.
I mean, you had a big fight on Tuesday,
it shouldn't affect Wednesday.
You say, pass your ass to having a fight?
When I get married, I'm just never going to have a fight.
Right, you've never been married before.
That's obvious.
Oh man, I'll never, we'll never.
And people say like, oh yeah, never fight.
Look, everybody who's married has a fight.
Very basic.
You know, and he'd say, oh I would say that, never fight.
Wait a minute, a lot of people, the problem is
they go into marriage with an unreasonable expectation.
And then when the fight happens,
oh, you know, we're not compatible.
You know, even though they swore to God
till death do us part for better, for worse.
And they say, you know, to have and to hold
from this day forward till death do us part.
And then they say, oh, we're not compatible
because we had this big fight.
Now go into it with a real expectation.
It's not like the rock and roll song that you heard
where you just saw each other and it was da da da da da
and you saw each other and everything was perfect
and you just, oh, this is perfect and wonderful
and I only live for your happiness and blah, blah, blah.
It's not true because why else would God
put this verse in the Bible, be not bitter against them?
You know, those of us who are married
know what that means, okay?
We understand what it means when God said
be not bitter against them.
And wives know what that means, not to be bitter.
Okay, to forgive, to let things go.
But people who've never been married,
they might not know what that means
because their head is so far in the rock and roll music
and all the TV and the movies.
They live in a false reality.
Now look, my wife and I have a great relationship.
I love being with my wife.
My wife and I spend a lot of time,
yeah, I've met a lot of people that are married
and they don't really spend a whole lot of time with us
but they just kinda have a date like once a week
and just kinda, you do your thing, I'll do my thing
and we'll get along great because we'll just, you know,
hang around every once in a while together.
You know, my wife and I are very close.
We talk a lot, we spend a lot of time together
but because of that closeness,
sometimes there are gonna be times
where you get on somebody's nerves
or where you get in a fight
or where you have a problem
and so the key is not to say,
well, we're never gonna sin.
We're never gonna commit sin.
We're never gonna do anything wrong.
We're gonna be perfect.
That's a dumb goal because you can't reach it
because you're a sinner.
There's no righteous, no not one.
A better goal is to say, you know what,
there will be problems but you know what,
I'm gonna forgive.
When my wife does wrong to me, I'm gonna forgive.
When I do wrong to my wife, I hope she'll forgive
and we can move on and have a loving, good relationship.
Aren't you glad that God moves on?
Aren't you glad that God's not still mad at you
for something you did two years ago?
Aren't you glad that when you get to heaven
and stand before God as a believer in Jesus Christ,
your sins are washed away?
Aren't you glad that when you stand before God,
he's not gonna run through all your sins with you?
But they're already separated from you
as far as the East is from the West?
So why would you bring up stuff that your wife did?
You know, years ago, months ago, days ago.
Why would you bring up stuff that your husband did?
Why wouldn't you have the same forgiveness
and say, hey, if Christ can forgive us,
we can forgive each other, we can move on.
That's the best advice that God gives here,
I think, when he says, don't be bitter, forgive.
Let not the sun go down upon your wrath, he said.
Look back at you, I wanna show you that in Colossians,
but get back to Ephesians chapter five.
We're gonna finish this passage up.
So what have we learned so far?
A review, he said, hey, wives, submit to your husband.
How much, how much do I submit, a little bit?
Well, how much did the church submit to Christ?
Okay, well, that's how much
the wife should submit to her husband.
And then he said, well, how much, okay,
husbands love your wife.
Well, how much am I supposed to love her?
Well, how much did Jesus love the guy
who beat him and spat on him and nailed him to the cross,
and he turned around and said,
Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.
That's how little you're supposed to be bitter
against your wife.
That's how much you're supposed to love her and forgive her
and you ought to cherish her and nourish her.
What does nourishment mean?
Sounds like food, right?
Feed your wife, you know,
and this is the key to a good marriage, guys.
You gotta feed her, all right, I'm just kidding.
But you gotta nourish her, I'm just teasing.
But you know, you ought to be nourished,
you ought to pay the bills.
You ought to provide, you ought to nourish,
and what does cherish mean?
Cherish is loving, it's kindness,
it's gentleness, it's compassion.
So he said, nourish your wife, cherish your wife.
That's feed your wife, love your wife,
take care of your wife, and he said,
you know, basically, forgive your wife,
love your wife, be good to your wife.
But let's keep reading.
He said in verse number 30,
for we are members of his body and of his flesh
and of his bones, for this cause
shall a man leave his father and mother
and shall be joined unto his wife
and they too shall be one flesh.
This is a great mystery,
but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Then he kind of basically sums it up in verse 33.
This is kind of just the summary statement at the end.
He says, nevertheless, let every one of you in particular
so love his wife even as himself.
He said, you know, love thy neighbor as thyself.
And he says, and the wife,
see that she reverenced her husband.
So what is the wife basically looking for
from her husband according to this verse?
She's looking for her husband to love her.
And what is the man looking for from his wife?
Reverence, respect.
A man wants to be respected.
It says, see that the wife reverenced her husband.
Now, today we live in a time
where women do not have respect for their husband.
Children do not respect their parents.
Employees do not respect the boss at work
because we basically live in a society
where people just don't respect any kind of authority at all.
They don't respect the law.
They don't respect a parent.
They don't respect a husband.
They don't respect a boss at work.
They don't respect the owner of the company.
And it's wrong because God commands us to respect authority.
And he says here, see that the wife reverenced her husband.
Today, children do not obey their parents.
Look at the next verse.
Right after that, he says in verse one of chapter six,
children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Honor thy father and mother,
which is the first commandment promised,
that it may be well with thee,
and thou mayest live long on the earth.
My sister went to the doctor's office the other day
in Fort Worth, Texas.
And she's sitting in a doctor's office
and there's the pediatrician that she goes to.
You know, this pediatrician tells them,
and this is the way doctors are now.
They're not just doctors.
They like tell you how to live your life.
They ask you if you have guns in your house.
My sister's doctor's asking her husband, you know,
do you have any guns?
Where do you keep the guns?
He's asked him all these different questions
about his personal life.
And my sister told me that when your kids get
to a certain age, this pediatrician that she takes them to
sits them down and explains to you,
do not spank your children.
You're hurting their psyche.
You can't spank, you know, do timeouts.
And she's like teaching parenting.
I guess because it's a doctor,
they know how to parent your child.
And they're gonna tell you, contrary to God's word,
which God's word says that the rod and the proof
give wisdom.
It says, thou shalt beat him with the rod
and shall deliver his soul from hell.
It says, withhold not direction from the child,
for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
The Bible says to beat your child with the rod.
They say, oh, I can't, that's what the Bible says.
Read the book of Proverbs, says it repeatedly.
Beat the child with the rod, that's what it says.
It's the Bible, okay?
And people will say, oh no, don't spank.
You're gonna hurt the child's psyche.
Well, let me tell you the story.
So my sister's sitting in this doctor's office waiting room.
And this lady's there and she's got a very small child
like a toddler.
And then she's got a son who was about nine years old.
And this nine year old son is sitting against the wall
like this and he's basically got a video game.
And what it was, though, was the cell phone.
You know how on a cell phone you can download a video game?
So he's playing a video game on his mother's cell phone.
And so he's sitting there playing the video game,
playing the video game.
Well, this lady, she talks to the lady behind the counter,
the reception desk, the doctor,
and the lady behind the reception desk says,
well, your insurance, there's a problem
because the new child has not been added to the insurance
so you're gonna have to make some phone calls and so forth.
So basically this lady needs to make a phone call.
So she says to the eight year old child, she says,
I need to use the phone now
because I have to make this call about the insurance.
And the kid says, no.
And she says, look, I need to call.
You know, I need to make this call.
You know, this and that.
And he's like, no, argh!
You know, she tried to take it from her, he yanks it away.
Well, finally she takes the phone.
And listen, this story is as true as the day is long
and it was unbelievable.
My sister said, I've never seen anything like this.
This was just about a week ago.
The child began to beat his mother in the face, literally.
He started to slap her.
He started punching her in the face.
I mean, and it was to the point
where literally there were marks on her face.
I mean, it wasn't just a little,
I mean, he was pummeling his mother.
I mean, he was punching her, slapping her.
She's saying, stop, stop, don't do that.
And she started bawling and crying.
And this child was literally beating his mother's face in.
And I mean, she was all red.
She had finger marks and marks from being beat up.
And everybody in the waiting room
was just looking on in horror, okay?
And finally, you know, finally what happened was
that the nurse comes out and basically says,
you know, you need to go sit in this other room
and this and that.
You know, because the nurse was just embarrassed
that this was even happening.
I mean, it was to the point
where my sister almost wondered like,
are the police gonna be called?
Just because this kid had like beaten up his mom so bad.
It was weird.
It was strange.
And basically, finally what happened was,
you know, they're crying and they're moved
into another room and then the dad shows up
and takes them off and do it.
This is the society we're living in.
And as soon as my sister gets seen by the nurse,
the nurse is saying, man, somebody needs to spank that kid.
They're saying, you know, this is the one where
they tell you, like, oh, don't spank, this and that.
They're all singing a different tune now.
They're saying, man, you know, I would have spanked that kid.
That kid needed to be spanked.
That kid needed a beating.
I mean, give me a break.
That kid is out of control.
But let me tell you something.
If you spare the rod, the Bible says this.
And remember, this is God's word.
He that spareth his rod, hateth his son.
But he that loveth him chaseth them betis.
And so these parents, you say, oh, I love them
too much to spank.
You don't love them at all, according to the Bible,
if you don't spank your children.
Yes, I said that.
If you don't spank the child, you don't love the child.
You love yourself more than you love your child
because you want them to like you
or you want to be the, oh, you're too loving to spank.
No, you're not loving enough to spank
because that child's not happy.
He's going to grow up and probably be a criminal.
God knows what he's going to be when he grows up
because he's never had any boundaries.
He's never had anybody love him enough to correct him.
The Bible says, whom the Lord loveth and chasteneth
and scourges with every son whom he receiveth.
God loves us, therefore he disciplines us.
And we ought to discipline our children.
But today, we have children who have so little respect
for their parents that they would literally
beat their mother.
She won't spank him, but he'll spank her.
And I'd rather spank my child than be spanked by my child.
And it sounds funny, but you know what?
It's pretty sad when you're getting spanked.
It was sad.
I mean, my sister felt bad, and she tried to talk to the ladies.
She tried to give her the gospel.
She wanted to talk to her and get her saved.
And also, she told her, she said, look,
you've got to spank your kid.
I mean, she explained this to us like,
you can't just let your child just beat you up.
But that's the extreme date, and I've seen it.
I've seen it in the store, kids throwing themselves
on the ground, screaming for it.
Ah!
And nobody does anything about it.
Johnny.
Johnny, that's not nice.
Ah!
Johnny, do you want a Popsicle later?
Ah!
Good night.
My pastor in California, this is what
he used to say to people in public.
He'd tell them, give him what he wants,
or give him what he needs.
You know, but like, I don't want to listen to him.
Either give him what he wants, or give him what he needs.
That's what he used to tell people, that's true.
But today, we're living in this topsy-turvy world
where the child spanks the parent.
The husbands are a reference of the wife.
They're scared of their wife in many cases.
You try to tell them, hey, you know,
we're going to do this, what should we do?
Well, you know, let me call the boss.
They're like, what?
And then they're calling their wife,
and they literally say that.
Who's ever heard somebody say that?
Well, I'm going to call the boss.
And they call their wife.
Are you even a man?
What's wrong with you?
Why don't you just stop calling yourself a man?
Why don't you go move to California,
and you could use one of those restrooms
that has both pictures on the outside,
where it has the male and female restroom.
Why don't you use the family restroom, OK?
Be a man.
How can you call yourself a man,
and you're in submission to your wife?
Hey, the Bible says that's what a woman's supposed to do.
Why don't you be a man and be in charge in your home,
and not live in fear of your wife?
No, it's wrong.
And you say, well, it's our society.
Yes, we've changed for the worse.
And children don't care what their parents say.
Wives don't care what their husbands say.
Employees don't care what the boss says.
It's just a disrespectful society that we live in,
because everybody just thinks that anything goes.
Well, anything doesn't go in my house,
and anything doesn't go in God's Word.
And so we need to get off this modernistic stuff,
and get back to what the Bible clearly says.
Look at 1 Peter 3, in case you don't believe me.
Look at 1 Peter 3.
And by the way, you say, oh, this is degrading to women.
Is it degrading to children
that they have to obey their parents?
No, it's just the natural order of things
that God has established.
Why is it degrading to women
that they have to obey and submit to their husband?
Because the Bible does say to obey,
it says in, you don't have to turn there,
but in Titus 2, it says that they may teach
the young women to be sober.
That's a good place, that's always a good place to start,
as a young woman, be sober.
That means get off the drugs, get off the alcohol,
be serious.
He says to love their husbands, to love their children,
to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home,
good, obedient to their own husbands,
that the Word of God be not blasphemed.
Because God says that the Word of God
be blasphemed because of Christian women
who are not obedient to their husbands.
That's what he said.
He said women need to be obedient to their husbands,
that the Word of God be not blasphemed.
Now look at 1 Peter 3,
and 1 Peter 3 is not something
that you're gonna hear preached in most churches.
But yet there it is in the Bible.
Look at verse one.
It says, likewise ye wise,
be in subjection to your own husbands,
that if any obey not the Word,
they also may without the Word
be won by the conversation of the wise,
while they behold your chaste conversation
coupled with fear,
whose adorning, let it not be that outward adorning
of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold,
and of putting on of apparel,
but let it be the hidden man of the heart,
in that which is not corruptible,
even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit,
which is in the sight of God of great Christ.
So what's the opposite of a woman
having a meek and quiet spirit?
Proud and loud.
That would be the opposite of meekness,
would be pride, arrogance, the haughtiness.
What's the opposite of quiet?
This is a hard one.
Isaac, what's the opposite of quiet?
Loud.
See, isn't that hard to understand?
He's not even married yet.
He's got this figured out.
It says the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit,
which is in the sight of God of great Christ.
For after this manner in the old time,
the holy women also, who trusted in God,
adorned themselves, being in subjection
unto their own husbands,
even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord,
whose daughters ye are, as long as ye are due well
and are not afraid with any abasement.
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them
according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife.
So this is not a degrading thing, is it?
He says giving honor unto the wife
as unto the weaker vessel.
That's what the Bible says.
Now, honey, why don't you come up here right now, honey?
We're gonna do an illustration here.
Come on up here, honey.
Because the Bible says here
that the wife is the weaker vessel, okay?
Come on up here, honey.
We're gonna see if this is really true.
Because so many people are there questioning the Bible,
and especially they question the Bible
on this subject of marriage,
and on this subject of the roles of men and women in society
and question the Bible.
So we're gonna settle this right now, okay?
I wanna know, and this, okay, fine, left hand.
You know, you choose your hand, honey.
No, wait a minute.
We gotta get to this.
Now look, I wanna see whether the Bible's really true.
Is the woman the weaker vessel, okay?
Yeah, that wasn't that hard, folks.
Now, I challenge any woman in this room right now.
Brianne, come on up here.
I'll challenge any woman.
You wanna challenge me?
Wait, I saw that.
Come on up here.
All right, yeah.
All right.
I don't even know how to do this.
You got it.
You look like you did it.
Are you like one of these people
who pretends like they don't know,
and as they gamble, they win?
All right, ready?
Somebody call, go.
Go, go.
Yeah, yeah!
See?
All right, go ahead and sit down.
It's physical.
All right, sit down.
That isn't only physical.
So basically, what's the Bible say, the weaker vessel?
Oh, oh, oh, we just proved it.
That's the strongest woman in this church.
No, I'm just kidding.
But anyway, the point is that the Bible teaches here
there is a difference between men and women.
Do the men and women compete together in the Olympics?
No, there's a physical difference, okay?
But you know, there's not just a physical difference.
There is an emotional difference between men and women.
Men and women have different emotions.
Men and women have different talents and abilities.
Men have certain talents and abilities.
Women have other talents and abilities that are different.
Men have different strengths in certain areas.
Women have different strengths in other areas.
There's a difference.
It's not that she's less honorable,
but it's that she's the weaker vessel,
and therefore is subject unto the husband.
That's what the Bible says.
And then did I read the whole thing there?
Is there one more verse?
I think that's it, it says,
and he husbands dwell with them according to knowledge,
giving honor unto the wife as of the weaker vessel
as being heirs together of the grace of life,
that your prayers be not hindered.
Look over, if you would, at 1 Timothy chapter two.
1 Timothy chapter number two.
He says in 1 Timothy two,
just go back a few pages in your Bible toward the beginning.
1 Timothy chapter two verse eight.
It says this, it says,
I will therefore that men pray everywhere,
lifting up holy hands without wrath and doubting,
in like manner also that women adorn themselves
in modest apparel,
with shamefacedness and sobriety,
not with broided hair or gold or pearls or costly array,
but which becometh women professing godliness
with good works.
Verse 11, let the woman learn in silence
with all subjection.
But I suffered not a woman to teach,
nor do you serve authority over the man,
but to be in silence.
For Adam was first formed, then he,
and Adam was not deceived,
but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
Flip over to 1 Corinthians 11.
Go back to 1 Corinthians 11.
I'm sorry, 1 Corinthians 14.
Just go back a few pages in your Bible.
1 Corinthians chapter 14.
And let's begin reading in verse number 34.
It says in 1 Corinthians 13,
I'm sorry, 14, 34,
let, watch this,
let your women keep silence in the churches.
For it is not permitted unto them to speak,
but that they are commanded to be under obedience
is also safe for all.
And if they will learn anything,
let them ask their husbands at home,
for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.
One time I showed this to somebody
who went to a church of a woman pastor, woman preacher.
And I showed this, I read this to him.
And he pointed at it and said,
do you believe that?
You know, yeah.
Of course I believe it.
No, I don't believe it.
Let's all, does anybody want to go out to eat or something?
Why are we, what are we doing here?
Of course I believe it.
If I didn't believe it, I wouldn't be a preacher.
If I didn't believe it, I wouldn't have memorized,
you know, a hundred some odd chapters of the Bible
if I didn't think it was God's word.
If I didn't think it was real,
if I didn't think it was the truth,
I wouldn't even be up here tonight.
Of course I believe it.
And yet today, women preachers abound.
Women preach, oh, well they're just filling the void
because there's not enough men preachers.
The Bible says no.
The Bible says, you know,
my son Isaac's not gonna get up here and pastor the church.
Solomon's not gonna pastor the church.
Children are not gonna pastor the church.
But you know, not everybody is qualified
to pastor the church and the Bible makes it clear
that when it comes to church, when we're in the church,
women are to learn in silence.
That's what the Bible said, that they learn in silence.
Now does that mean they can't sing the songs or fellas?
No, but they're not the ones who get up and speak.
They're not the ones who preach.
They're not the ones who leave.
Men are, one time I knocked on the door, I was holding.
And I asked this lady, I said, you go to church anywhere?
And she said, well, I'm the deacon
that so-and-so's church.
And I said, really?
I said, you're the deacon?
She said, yeah.
I said, hey, I said, really, I said,
I said, you know, forgive me for being surprised
that you're a deacon.
But I said, because I read this in the Bible,
I said, you know, the Bible says right here,
it says, let the deacons be the husband of one life,
ruling their children in their own house as well.
And I said, according to this verse,
it says the deacon is to be the husband of one life.
I said, I was just surprised
that you were the husband of one life.
And she just looked at me like, huh?
I said, well, I just didn't know that you had a wife.
Like, I mean, I would have thought you would have a husband.
I said, it just shocks me that you have a wife.
You know, and she says, uh-oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You know, and you say, oh, man, I can't even believe
you said that.
That's what the Bible says.
And we live in a topsy-turvy world.
We live in a world where 10% of United Methodist pastors
are homosexuals, are the most filthy perverts
under the sun, according to what the Bible says.
The Bible says it's vile.
These are God's words to describe it.
Vile, he uses that word vile.
You know, vile means disgusting.
He said they're vile.
He used the word filthy.
He used the word wicked, and they put a vile, filthy,
wicked person behind the pulpit of the first
United Methodist Church of Tempe.
And they call it, you know, oh, we're just modern.
No, you're wicked, you're vile, you're filthy,
you're disgusting.
That's what the Bible calls it.
You call it anything else, and you're not lining up
with scripture, because that's what, you say,
oh, we'll just call it something something like gay.
No, let's call it filthy.
Let's call it vile.
Let's call it wicked.
Let's call it strange, because those are four words
that the Bible uses.
And so, God raised fire and brimstone
on Sodom and Gomorrah, because of the sin of homosexuality.
And yet today, fire and brimstone is ready to reign
over these pastors who get up in the pulpit,
they're homosexuals, and then 50% of the United Methodist
pastors are women.
When the Bible said let the women keep silence
in the church, it's not permitted under them to speak.
He said that men are the ones to lead,
men are to have authority in the church,
and women are to follow.
That's what the Bible teaches.
You say, oh, it's degrading.
No, it's Bible, it's Bible, it's God's word.
He said, but wait a minute, that was before
the women's lib movement.
But hold on a second, women's lib,
what does women's lib stand for?
Women's liberation, which means to make someone free,
that's what it means to liberate.
Let me ask something, who's more free,
my wife or the women's lib crowd?
Well, let's see, my wife does whatever she wants all day.
I go off to work, I don't stand over her,
I don't watch her, I don't have CCTV on her.
I don't pull up on my phone.
Honey, what are you doing sitting on the couch?
There's work to do.
Do you think I pull up a CCTV with my wife?
Do you think that my wife clocks in and clocks out
every day just to make sure she gets up on time?
No, let me tell you when my wife gets up,
when she wants to get up.
Let me tell you when my wife goes to bed,
when she wants to go to bed.
Let me tell you what my wife has for breakfast,
whatever she wants.
Guess what my wife's gonna do tomorrow?
Whatever she wants.
Guess what store she goes to?
Whichever store she wants.
She doesn't have me hovering over telling her what to do.
My wife has a lot more freedom, but guess what?
What I say in my house goes.
When I say, hey, this is what we're gonna do,
that's what we do, and it's end of story.
And we don't have two heads in our house,
there's one head, and it's me, and it's not her.
But she has more freedom than the liberated woman,
the yes we can woman who goes to work every day,
and she's just traded her husband for her boss
for her boss at work.
Who does tell her what time to get up,
who does watch over her all day long,
who does have a clock in and clock out,
who does give her a list of work to do,
who does chew her out if she doesn't get the work done.
I don't chew my wife up.
My wife has total freedom that I give her, okay?
And then when there's something that's a major decision,
I have the final say.
I'm the leader.
And when I tell my wife to do something, she has to do it.
But I promise you that she has way more freedom
than the woman who has to go to work for eight hours a day,
and then she comes home and has to do housework
when she gets home, because her and her husband
have to split the chores, and she's working,
and she's working in some way.
Let me tell you something.
Many women, they have to go back when they're overworked.
They're working harder than women were designed to work.
Because they have to go to work for eight hours a day.
Then they have to come home and do housework.
And then they have the chores,
and they're basically trying to juggle two things.
They're trying to run the household and trying to work.
And they have too much on their plate,
and things get neglected.
You know what gets neglected a lot of the time?
The children get neglected.
They get shipped off to the daycare, to this place,
to that place, and they get neglected.
They don't get raised by a loving, nurturing mother.
But you see, in God's economy, the man works,
according to the Bible, he's the breadwinner,
and the wife is called a keeper at home.
She keeps the house, she stays home.
She raises the children, okay?
And then she's not overworked,
because she's focused on one thing.
My wife has a job.
Not a job outside the home, she doesn't get a paycheck,
but her calling is to be a housewife.
It's to be a mother.
And that is a full-time job.
I remember when I worked for an alarm company
that I used to work for, the boss would say,
well, have your wife, you know.
Because I said, oh man, I'm busy, I can't get this stuff done.
He said, have your wife do some of the paperwork.
Have your wife do these phone calls.
And I said, I said, listen.
I said, I don't have my wife do anything.
He said, my wife already has a full-time job.
She's dealing with little children.
She has all the housekeeping.
She cooks the meals, she cleans the floor.
I'm not gonna make her do a bunch of work for me.
Now, some minds all call her and say,
honey, can you look this up for me?
You know, quick thing.
But I'm not gonna have her spending hours a day
working on something else,
because I know that she's already just as busy as I am.
Just caring for the five children and running the household,
taking care of all the daily needs of the house.
It is a job to run that house.
And so people say, oh, your wife just sits around.
No, she's working hard all day,
caring for the children, cooking, cleaning.
That is a lot of work.
And so that's enough on her plate.
I'm not gonna burden her with something else.
And today, these liberated women
are just overburdened, overworked.
And that's the way it always is.
They promise the liberty, the Bible says.
You know, sin always promises you freedom.
Yeah, be free.
You know, the devil told Adam and Eve,
oh yeah, you'll be like a god.
You can decide what you want to do
once you eat of this fruit.
And all sin ever brings is just bondage and slavery.
And the women of the day, they wanted to have freedom.
So they threw off the yoke of their husband.
Now their husband's cowering in fear.
You know, but they threw off the one yoke
and they took on an even bigger yoke
of having to go out in the workforce
and do both and handle both.
And you know what I've noticed?
A lot of women, you see them out in the workforce
and they're not happy.
They're not happy to be there.
Like, they just, they don't belong there.
And sometimes they get a bad attitude
and I don't blame them for getting a bad attitude.
Because they're not in the natural environment.
You know, you see a woman operating a jackhammer.
Jackhammer, you know, she's an extreme example.
And hey, her sister, her sister operated a jackhammer.
Literally.
And she's a very nice girl.
I like your sister, she's a very nice girl.
And you know what, I fell bad for her
because I don't think that that's a job for a woman.
You know, I think she would have been a lot happier
in the home, taking care of the children,
but she's liberated, baby, you know?
She's just like, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're.
Who in here has operated a jackhammer before?
Have you ever operated a jackhammer for like a long,
I've spent, I've spent a lot of eight hour days
operating a jackhammer.
It's hard work.
It is very hard work.
And not only, I mean, she worked for the city though,
so she probably spent a lot of time doing that.
So.
She also, sometimes she was on shovel duty.
Other times she was on watching duty.
But I'm telling you something,
I've operated a jackhammer all day long.
It didn't wear, and I was operating,
I wasn't operating it vertically,
I was operating it horizontally.
Because I was burrowing through a wall
that was like two feet thick.
In Germany, a stone wall that had been there
for literally hundreds of years.
And I was using a jackhammer,
and I was swinging a sledge hammer,
and I was hammering with the mallet these little spikes,
and I had to basically put a door where there was no door.
And where there hadn't been a door for centuries.
And that jackhammer will wear you out.
But boy, at least she's, you know, doing her own thing.
Right?
At least she's, you know, making her own decisions.
Yeah.
Come on, we've been deceived.
We've been lied to.
Our society's messed up, we could've just got back
to God's plan and have a happy home.
You know, where you got one authority.
Have you ever noticed that on the Supreme Court
there's nine justices?
That's for a reason, there's an odd number.
That way they don't always have a tie.
Well guess what, two people makes a tie.
Who's the tiebreaker?
The child?
You know what I mean?
And so, you know, you gotta have a leader.
How many presidents of the United States?
We have one.
The reason they designed it that way in the Constitution
is because too many cooks spoil the broth.
You know, you gotta have basically
somebody who's in charge.
Somebody's gotta lead.
Two leaders go two different directions, what do you do?
Well, what do people do today?
They just split up.
You got two leaders, eventually you split up.
That's where all the divorce comes from.
Well I wanna do this, well I wanna,
I mean I've known people, well I wanna live in this city.
Well, go live there then.
And literally a divorce from people who were getting along
started just because one of them moved to the other
and said I'm not gonna move.
Everything else they were getting along.
But then they just live in two different cities
and then after a few months they just realized,
well I don't need you.
I've lived without you for two months anyway, you know?
This might as well just, you know, keep it.
And then the divorce papers follow.
I have a friend, that's how it works.
They moved to a different town, his wife didn't like it,
so the mom took her back home.
And other than that they got along great.
And then you know what?
It led to divorce.
One thing led to another.
Because you gotta have one decision maker that says,
honey, we're living in Phoenix, I don't care how long it is.
You know, just don't do it.
Gotta have somebody who makes the decision,
who takes the lead.
And you say, well I don't agree with your logic,
but you gotta agree with the Bible, that's what it says.
And so look, I'm not trying to beat down on women
or trying to preach something that's a pain in the neck
or some, oh man, I can't believe the Bible,
we gotta live by this archaic stuff.
This is how you can have harmony in your home.
This is how you can have a happy home.
Where a wife fulfilling her God-given role.
And I guarantee you, my wife is better
at raising the children than me.
Do you think I would be good at home
with the children, honey?
She dreads to even think about it
if I were to do it for like a week.
I mean literally, my wife would feel uneasy
about letting me run the house for like two days.
And she's wrong about that, you know, I can do it.
But I promise you that she is a lot better
at caring for small children than I am.
My dad just kind of lets them do whatever my dad does.
Mom is much more reasonable and you know,
she probably feeds them a lot better than I would feed them.
I can't do a pretty thing.
And so what I'm trying to say is that
when everybody's in their proper place, you have harmony.
When the man is doing what he's supposed to be doing,
when he's a loving, and look, why would you not, ladies,
why would you not want to submit to yourself
to a loving, nourishing, caring guy
who loves you so much, he loves you to the degree
that he'll do anything for you like Jesus would do for you.
That's, I mean, wouldn't you want to submit yourself
to a guy that's that loving?
You say, oh, he's just gonna take advantage.
You know what, if everybody's doing
what they're supposed to be doing,
if the husband is loving his wife
like he's supposed to be loving her,
and if the wife is giving him the respect
that he deserves as the husband
and submitting to his authority,
that's the only way you're gonna have harmony.
Today's society says, oh, if we're just both equal roles
and share everything, it doesn't work, folks,
and that's why, and look, look at the world
and see the proof it doesn't work.
God's method works.
How many people have I known, myself included,
who basically have a balance in their home
of a man who's in authority, who lovingly, you know,
and unselfishly deals with his wife
and she submits to death, are we perfect?
No.
Do we have fights?
Of course we have fights.
Nobody goes through life without ever fighting.
If you do, you know, I mean, look,
let me put it to you this way, guys.
If you wanna just never ever, never have a fight,
you're probably not the boss in your home either.
You know what I mean?
I mean, it's that simple.
I'm sure there are couples who never fight
because the husband just says,
okay, I think I don't wanna fight.
I've known some guys like that
and they never had a fight in their house, you know,
but sometimes there's gonna be a fight,
but you know what, my goal is not to not have a fight
because that's an unreasonable goal.
My goal is to have a marriage that's pleasing to the Lord.
My goal is to have a marriage that is,
the marriage that God wants to be happy.
My goal is to have a marriage
that's gonna produce the children
that God wants to be produced out of the house.
That's my goal.
Not to be perfect, not to have a perfect relationship,
but to obey the Bible, that's my goal.
And I find that the more I obey the Bible
and the more my wife obeys the Bible,
the more sweet, harmony, and loving marriage we have
because when we follow God's way,
God's way is the one that works.
When you raise your children, God's way.
Now, and it's not just all about spanking,
but spanking is a necessary ingredient.
Without spanking, you will fail in parenting.
You will fail without spanking.
Spanking is necessary, but there's more to it.
Obviously, you can't just, all I do is spank.
You gotta have love, you gotta train them up,
you gotta be gentle, you gotta nourish them,
you gotta train them and teach them and so forth.
But let me tell you something, if you follow God's plan,
you're gonna have success.
You're gonna get through it and you're gonna have a family
as God wants you to have.
Or you can follow the modern family
and have your 12-year-old look like
they just fell out of a fishing tackle box
because they have so many piercings in their face
and they're gonna tell you what to do.
And sadly, that's a lot of what's walking around
at the high school today.
You know what's down there.
If you want your child to look like you can't tell
whether it's a boy or a girl, then you know what,
go ahead, follow the world's method.
If you want your child to beat you up in a doctor's office
to where other people are embarrassed to even watch,
to where even the most staunch anti-spanking advocates
are using the word beat about your child.
I mean, my sister said, that's the word that they use.
She said they didn't even say spank,
they said beat that child.
And these are anti-spanking people.
It's funny, my wife's brothers,
they're so modernized and whatever,
and her brother Bondi, he doesn't have any children,
so therefore he's the expert on children.
And so my brother-in-law Bondi, he's the expert on children
because he has none.
So he basically is saying, oh, those spank spankings wrong,
you know, it's so horrible,
how can you do this abusive thing?
Hey, we caught him one time.
Because when my child touched his precious laptop,
oh, oh, oh, that's when he slapped the hand,
slapped the hand to the toe,
and then he saw that you just saw him do it,
and he's real embarrassed, oh, I mean, I don't know.
You know, when it came to his little,
precious little electronic device,
all of a sudden, he's just slapped in the hand, okay?
Because look, any sane person,
and my sister said, I think that these doctors
are kind of saying like, don't spank in him
like spank a little, okay, you know what I mean?
I'm not gonna spank a little,
I'm gonna spank what it takes
for my children to grow up
in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
And I'm not gonna let the government, or the doctor,
or whoever tell me how to raise my children,
I'm gonna let Jesus Christ tell me through this book
how to raise my children,
and I don't need your Dr. Spock, Dr. Spook, or Dr. Scott
telling me how to raise my children,
I don't need to be a little spring,
I need the Holy Bible and that's it.
So let's bow our heads in that word of prayer,
and Father, we just pray that you'd please just help
all of us to have a better marriage, dear God,
and Father, help us as men to lay down the law in our house,
because you commanded it.
I didn't even get to the scripture, dear God,
Genesis 3.16, where it says that the man shall rule over
his wife in Genesis 3.16, but Father,
I just pray that you would help us as men
to take the lead in our own spiritually,
to set the example, not to be a tyrant or a dictator,
but rather to be a godly example,
and someone that our wife would wanna follow.
But God, help our wives even when we're imperfect,
to follow us anyway, because that's what the Bible's
commanded them to do.
Help us to have harmony in our homes,
help us to raise our children according to your word,
help us to have the family and the home that you intended.
Even though our society has tried so hard
to break down the family, help us, dear God,
as Christian people to have strong families
patterned after your word, and we love you
and thank you for everything that you've given us.
Help us to have a great Thanksgiving this week,
and thank you for all our wonderful blessings
and prosperity that we have.
In Jesus' name we pray, amen.