Pray, amen.
In Numbers chapter number 30 here,
we have this passage about the vowing of vows,
and this is something that is obsolete in the New Testament
in the sense that the Lord Jesus Christ
very clearly told us, swear not at all.
James tells us, above all things, my brethren, swear not.
Okay, when we read the Old Testament,
and when we specifically are reading the laws
and the books of Moses, often we are reading about things
that are specific to the Old Covenant
that have been done away in Christ.
Some people would say that nothing's been done away,
and they would wanna Judaize us and so forth,
but the Bible clearly tells them in the New Testament
that the priesthood being changed,
there's made of necessity a change also of the law.
In the New Testament, the Bible talks about
how the meats and the drinks and the diverse washings
and the cardinal ordinances were only imposed upon them
until the time of reformation when Christ came.
And so obviously there are things in the Old Testament law
that are not specifically applicable in the New Testament,
like, for example, the vowing of vows,
because Christ revised this in the New Testament
because so many people broke so many vows
that he just said, hey, look, just swear not at all.
Just don't do it, just don't even make vows and so forth.
So obviously the law of Moses is not directly something
that we're under in the New Testament
because we are living in the New Testament.
But that being said, the Old Testament laws are there
to teach us today moral principles,
and also just they show us who God is and how God thinks
and what is right and what is wrong.
You see, the Bible says all scripture is given
by inspiration of God and is profitable for doctrine.
And specifically the Bible even says
about the book of Numbers in 1 Corinthians chapter 10,
that these things were written for our admonition
upon whom the ends of the world are come.
And it specifically refers to things that happen
in the book of Numbers when it says that.
And so we should never get the idea
that just because we're not living
under the old covenant ordinances,
that somehow there's nothing to learn
from these old covenant scriptures or from the Mosaic law,
because all of it's profitable for doctrine.
And we should also remember
that the law of the Lord is perfect.
Why is this chapter no longer applicable in 2022 directly?
Not because there was anything wrong with God's law,
but rather because of human imperfection,
because of man's sin and abuse of vows and swearing
that Jesus Christ came along and said,
just swear not at all.
And then James reiterates that in his epistle
to the 12 tribes that are scattered abroad.
And so as we look at this chapter,
there's actually a lot that we can learn about life,
about the family and these biblical principles,
moral principles, of course, still stand today.
So look at verse number one of Numbers chapter 30,
it says, and Moses spake unto the heads of the tribes
concerning the children of Israel saying,
this is the thing which the Lord had commanded.
If a man vow a vow unto the Lord or swear an oath
to bind his soul with a bond, he shall not break his word,
he shall do according to all that proceedeth
out of his mouth.
Now, obviously it is very important that we keep our word.
If we say we're gonna do something,
if we make any kind of a promise, we better keep it.
Now, obviously in the New Testament,
we're not supposed to go so far as to bind our soul
with an oath or use a vow.
But the Bible does say that we should let our yay be yay
and our nay be nay.
And so if we say we're gonna do something,
we shouldn't have to make a vow or an oath about it,
we just should do what we said that we were gonna do.
And of course it is a sin when we say
we're gonna do one thing and then we do something else,
because that would be lying.
And so the Bible says we need to do according
to all that proceedeth out of our mouth.
The thing that I really wanna focus on this evening
is what this chapter really focuses on,
which is women vowing vows,
because that's really the thrust of this chapter.
The first two verses are just giving
a general introduction about vows,
but then he goes into women vowing,
whether they be living at home as a child,
be a widow, whether they be divorced,
whether they be married to a husband,
it gives us all these different scenarios.
And by looking at these scenarios,
we can actually learn a lot about the way the family
is supposed to work and the way the authority structure
in the home is supposed to work according to scripture.
Look what it says in verse three,
if a woman also vow a vow unto the Lord
and bind herself by a bond,
being in her father's house in her youth.
So she's young, she's either a child or a young adult,
but she's still living at home,
she's living with her parents and she makes a vow.
So the Bible says in verse four,
and her father hear her vow
and her bond wherewith she had bound her soul,
and her father shall hold his peace at her.
That means to say nothing, right?
If I hold my peace, it means I'm just not saying anything.
So if dad hears the daughter vow a vow,
and he just doesn't say anything,
then all her vows shall stand.
And every bond wherewith she had bound her soul shall stand.
Because in this case, silence is agreement.
So if dad hears the daughter make the vow,
and he just kind of doesn't say a word about it
one way or the other, by not saying anything,
he's establishing it.
By not saying anything, he is condoning of that.
But verse five, if her father disallow her
in the day that he heareth, not any of her vows
or of her bonds wherewith she had bound her soul shall stand
and the Lord shall forgive her
because her father disallowed her.
So in this situation, dad hears her make a vow,
and he says, you know what?
No, you're not gonna make that vow.
That's a dumb vow.
I don't like that vow.
I don't approve of that vow.
It's null and void.
Now, she's not supposed to follow
what she vowed she would do.
She can't say like, well, sorry, dad.
I already vowed this to the Lord.
It's like, oh, no, you didn't.
Because I just said no.
And now the Bible says that God's going to forgive her.
That basically God's gonna let it go.
Now, obviously, she shouldn't have vowed something
and then not done it, but God forgives it.
God lets it go.
So if God forgives it, if God lets it go,
then it's not even a thing, right?
I mean, God's the supreme judge of the universe here.
And he says it's fine, then it must be fine.
So therefore, dad has the power
to just undo a vow or a note that his daughter makes.
But if he doesn't say anything, it stands,
and she's just as bound to it
as if a grown man made a vow or a note.
It says in verse number six,
and if she had it all unhusbanded when she vowed
or uttered ought out of her lips,
wherewith she bound her soul and her husband heard it
and held his peace at her in the day that he heard it,
then her vows shall stand and her bonds
wherewith she bound her soul shall stand.
But if her husband disallowed her on the day
that he heard it, then he shall make her vow
which she vowed, and that which she uttered
with her lips wherewith she bound her soul of none effect,
and the Lord shall forgive her.
Now, what do you notice about those couple of verses?
Here's what you notice.
You notice that the authority that dad has over his daughter
is the same authority that the husband has over his wife.
Now, this is probably gonna offend a lot of people,
but guess what?
That's what the Bible teaches.
So it turns out this chapter is pretty relevant after all,
since we're living in this stupid feminist generation
that wants to say that women have total autonomy
and make all their own decisions
and just do their own thing and you go girl
and don't let dad tell you what to do,
don't let your husband tell you what to do.
But in reality, dad is the boss in the home
and down the road when she gets married,
guess who becomes the boss?
Her husband.
So when does she kind of just get to do her own thing?
Here's the fun part, she doesn't, okay?
Because it starts out, she grows up
and she's under her dad's authority.
And then when she grows up and gets married,
now she's under her husband's authority, okay?
Now, if you're a young lady sitting there thinking,
oh, that doesn't sound, you're brainwashed by our society
because naturally men are designed to lead
and naturally women are designed to be a helper,
to be a support, to be one who leads the home, yes,
but to be under the authority of a man, okay?
This is the natural order of this world.
This is what God created, this is what God designed,
this is what God has stated in his word,
unequivocally, very clearly,
the Bible tells in the New Testament
for wives to be obedient under their own husbands.
It says for children to obey their parents in the Lord,
for this is right, the Bible couldn't be any clearer
about the fact that the wife is to submit to her husband
and the children are to submit to their parents.
This is what the Bible teaches.
And so this idea of the independent woman
being the ideal woman is not scriptural, okay?
But today, that's the role model.
I mean, let's face it, today,
some people's role model is literally Kamala Harris.
And Kamala Harris is a literal whore.
I'm not just calling her a whore because I don't like her.
The vice president of the United States is a literal whore
as in someone, well, I mean, I hope you know what a whore is
because I don't feel like explaining it to you.
But here's the thing about that.
She literally got her first political office
by going to bed with some married dude
that was decades older than her
and she slept her way to the top like a filthy whore.
That's the vice president of the United States.
That's where we're at in this country, okay?
Our vice president is a literal whore.
And so the thing about that is that when you have
these kind of women being exalted in our society,
like this is success.
Now, I really doubt no young lady in this room
is looking up to Kamala Harris as an example,
but I bet you out there, all kinds of,
there's probably some children's book at the library,
some little picture book about like Kamala
and it probably skips that episode
and many other like episodes that got her where she is.
But that's the reality.
But you know that there are probably,
even in this room tonight, young ladies and little girls
that are looking up to Hollywood actresses and singers
and the world celebrities
that are these kind of independent women
and it's not what the Bible teaches.
We don't wanna get so inundated with that worldly philosophy
that we start to think that way as Christians.
And I know when I'm getting up here and preaching like this,
it can seem archaic and some people are just kind of
thinking how old fashioned it is or over the top or it's,
but you know what, it's really just the Bible.
You're over the top feminist.
I'm not over the top.
And you know what's so funny is people will talk to me
about being, how I'm this kind of extremist,
this extreme preacher and I'm just like,
what are you talking about?
Because I don't feel extreme.
I don't consider myself extreme.
Oh, Faithful Word Baptist Church is a radical church.
No, it isn't.
There is nothing radical about Faithful Word Baptist Church.
Faithful Word Baptist Church is just an ordinary church
and I'm just an ordinary pastor, just an average guy,
getting up and preaching some average sermons.
Okay, welcome to reality.
It's that the world out there is getting so far
from the word of God that it makes me seem like
some kind of an outlier when in reality,
I'm actually one of the most balanced,
moderate people that you've ever met.
Seriously, I mean, I'm balanced, I'm moderate.
I strive for balance and moderation.
These are core principles that I live by, okay?
And so to sit there and act like this is some kind
of a radical viewpoint, it's not radical
because everybody would have agreed with me 75 years ago
in this country and 175 years ago and 275 years ago
and 375 years ago, everybody in this country
would have agreed with me.
I mean, that would just been like, well, yeah,
like why are we even talking about this?
It's a no brainer, okay?
But today, the brainwashing has been so effective
that now this attitude is that for women to be successful
is for women to be independent.
But in reality, they are supposed to be dependent.
They're supposed to be in their father's house
and then go on to be married to a husband
and rely on their husband.
And you say, well, that's terrible.
What's terrible about being dependent?
You know what's nice about being dependent?
Is that you have someone to depend on.
You know, I like being dependent on God.
I like depending on Jesus Christ for my salvation.
I'm not trying to be some independent guy
where I'm like, you know what?
I'm just gonna get my own way to heaven.
I'm gonna earn my way to heaven.
I'm gonna be independent.
You know, when it comes to salvation,
you know, I consider myself part of the bride of Christ,
you know, where I'm ready to let him bring home the bacon
as far as his righteousness, salvation,
you know, forgiveness of sins, right?
Let him take care of that because the wages of sin is death.
That's the paycheck I'm gonna bring home, okay?
So there's nothing wrong with being dependent.
You know, we all depend on the Lord for our salvation.
If we're saying we all depend on God every single day
just for life and breath and being.
I mean, I wake up every day and I realize, man,
I'm dependent on God.
I'm thanking God for giving me another day to serve him
because I realized that I depend on him all the time.
And throughout life, we've all depended on people.
You know, employees are depending on their boss
to bring in the work and to get them paid.
Bosses are depending on their employees
to show up for work and get the job done, right?
So this idea of everything being independent,
independence has its place.
But this idea that everything has to be independent
or that our goal in life is to ultimately be so independent,
you know, is a misguided goal, especially for women
because women are designed to be dependent, okay?
They should be dependent on dad
and then ultimately dependent on their husband.
And you know what, that's okay.
I mean, why would my wife want to go out
and work a job for someone else when she could be at home
dependent on me to pay the bills, right?
And obviously she works hard.
Obviously she's pulling her weight, but here's the thing.
She's probably glad that she doesn't have to go work
some menial job somewhere.
She can actually do something meaningful with her life
raising children and really having a lot more freedom
and autonomy being at home, guiding the house
than a lot of women that are out there
clocking in and out every day.
They don't necessarily have total freedom either
because they have a boss, they have responsibilities
to customers or clients or whatever.
So I want to make sure that you young girls and ladies
don't get this picture of success in your mind
that some woman in a business suit and high heels
and she's the CEO or whatever.
Get that image out of your mind and see success
as godly Christian womanhood.
Get in the word of God and figure out
what a successful woman looks like.
Figure out what godliness looks like on a woman.
Read your New Testament and then decide what it is
that God wants for your life.
Because you know what he's gonna tell you?
He's gonna say, I will therefore that the younger women
marry, bear children and guide the house.
Give none occasion to the adversary
to speak reproachfully.
This is not radical, this is not extreme,
this is me just teaching the basic surface teaching
of what the Bible clearly says in the New Testament.
Then we go back to the Old Testament law.
We go back to Numbers 30 and you know what we find?
We find support for what the New Testament is teaching
because we find that dads have an authority
over their daughters where they can't make
some major life decision autonomously
but rather dad can say, no, you're not gonna do that.
You're not gonna make that vow.
And then later when they're married,
their husband can say, no, you're not gonna make
that major life decision.
You're not gonna make that vow unto the Lord.
You're not gonna bind your soul in that way.
It's null and void.
And notice that the wording is literally identical
when it describes the dad and the husband.
Why?
You say, well, I don't think that a husband
has that kind of authority over his wife.
Yet the Bible says in the New Testament
that the wives should be obedient
unto their own husbands in everything.
So here's the thing, once you reach 100%,
you can't really go any higher than that.
And so what's beyond everything?
Like how do you go higher than that?
It's like, well, I mean, here's the thing.
Wives only have to obey their husbands in everything
but children, they obey their dads in everything.
Do daughters have to obey their dads more?
More than everything?
It's like 101%?
What does that even mean?
If the Bible says that the wives should be obedient
to their own husbands in everything,
that as the church is subject unto Christ,
so the wife, oh, you don't like my illustration.
You don't like me comparing the daughter obeying her dad.
You don't like me comparing that
to the wife obeying her husband?
Okay, how about let's compare it to Christ and the church
because as the church is subject unto Christ,
so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
So let me ask this,
how much authority does Christ have over this church?
I mean, just a little bit of authority?
Is he just kind of a tie-breaking vote
when every once in a while we sort of run into an impasse
on what we wanna do and he's sort of like the vice president
or not the one that's a whore
but just the vice president in general
that just kind of says like, okay, the Senate's tied 50-50
so let me just wake up for a second
and cast a deciding vote.
No, my friend, the church is subject unto Christ,
the wife is subject to her husband,
the daughter is subject to her dad.
To not love these things is to not love the word of God.
To not love these things is to not love the law of God.
To not agree with these things
is to think that you are smarter than God.
How dare you?
So Numbers chapter 30, the Bible says in verse nine,
but every vow of a widow and of her that is divorced,
wherewith they have bound their souls,
shall stand against her.
Now look, obviously the realities of the world
that we live in mean that not every woman
is a daughter or a wife, right?
I'm sure there are women here tonight
that are not living in their father's home and their youth
and they're not married to a husband.
Obviously that situation is out there.
There are women that are out there on their own
that do have autonomy over their lives
because in this instance we have the example of a widow.
This is a woman whose husband has died, okay?
Her husband has died.
She has autonomy at this point
because her authority isn't around anymore.
She's a widow.
So if she makes a vow, that stands.
There's nobody to disannul that.
Also someone who is divorced.
Obviously they're not married to that man anymore.
They're divorced and so now here they are
and so they're doing their own thing.
But let me ask you this.
Is this the ideal goal to strive for?
Like is verse nine here for little girls
and teenage girls and young ladies to say like,
well that's what I wanna be when I grow up.
I just wanna grow up and be divorced.
I just wanna grow up and be a widow.
You know it's a situation that women find themselves in
but this is not the standard.
This is not the goal.
This is not the norm.
Obviously there are gonna be exceptions to every rule.
The exception to the rule for getting married
is the Apostle Paul and his sidekick Barnabas.
Where they weren't married.
They're single guys and they're out serving God
and the Apostle Paul seems to have just been totally content
with being single and he said,
this isn't for everybody
but I think it's great being single.
I can serve God 100%.
I'm not distracted by the cares of this world
and having to please a wife and do all that.
I can go out and serve God.
But here's the thing.
In general, God's will for men is that they be married.
That they get married.
That they have kids.
That's the standard.
That's the norm.
Obviously there are gonna be exceptions to that.
There are gonna be young men and young ladies
that just decide that they're not gonna get married.
They don't desire marriage.
But here's the thing about that.
It's not so that they can be some selfish CEO somewhere.
The whole point of that exception
of being that Apostle Paul type or that Barnabas type,
being that one who doesn't get married
is that they're just devoted to serving the Lord full time.
I mean, they're really serious about serving God.
So Christ is just their life
and so they don't really feel a compulsion to get married.
Isn't that a little different than just,
well, I'm just wanting to do my own thing and be selfish
so therefore I'm just gonna stay single.
That's pretty different.
Because I don't see the Apostle Paul
just being selfish and doing his own thing.
I mean, he's devoted to serving Christ.
And so if some man or woman is just serving God
and praying and just day and night continuing in prayer
and working for God and just,
I mean, the Apostle Paul said,
I labored more abundantly than they all.
Look, if you're one who's just out there serving God
and doing great things for God and saying,
I'm not gonna get married,
I'm just gonna just happily do my thing serving God,
hey, more power to you.
But the vast majority of us
are gonna end up getting married.
That's how we're wired as humans.
Most of us are going to get married.
Most men, most women are gonna get married
and it's God's will that we get married.
And it's not the garbage that the Roman Catholics teach
where they teach that like,
oh, well, getting married is okay,
but being single is like a higher level of spirituality.
Wrong.
What it is though is that for certain people,
it's God's will that they not get married.
For certain people, that's their highest calling.
But it's not like,
well, all of us who got married are like second class.
Folks, all the apostles are married.
There are at least 82 minimum apostles, okay,
according to scripture, at least,
because you ordained the 12 and then you ordained 70 other.
So you got 80, do the math folks, okay?
It's not that hard.
82 minimum apostles and Paul said,
well, me and Barnabas, you know, are we the only ones
who, you know, basically don't forgo working
and don't forgo marriage?
Basically, what he's saying in 1 Corinthians 9
is that the other 80 plus apostles are all married
and they all did not work secular jobs.
They're just full time in the ministry
and they're married and they have children.
That's the standard, okay?
That's the norm.
Are there exceptions to that?
Of course.
And it's not like, well, Paul and Barnabas
are just on another level from John.
I mean, John, he's on a pretty serious level, my friend.
I don't think it was God's will for John to be single,
but he's just like, I'm sorry, I just can't contain myself.
I need to get married.
No, what it is is that the vast majority of humans
are wired to get married and if they don't get married,
they're kind of going against that compulsion
and it's probably not gonna end well.
So it's better to marry than to burn, the Bible says, right?
And that's not talking about burning in hell.
That's talking about burning with lust
or burning with dissatisfaction.
And so what we see here is that, yes,
God understands that there are situations out there
that fall outside of the main sequence, right?
Sorry to use an astronomy term, but you got the stars
that are in the main sequence
and then you got these outliers, okay?
Yeah, they're gonna be the outliers that are out there.
You got your red giants and white dwarfs, okay?
But the main thing is that God's will for the average person
is that they get married and have kids.
God loves the family, okay?
God is for the family.
Right now, our society is kind of breaking down the family
where you have now more people living together
that are not married than people who are married.
Households with an unmarried unit at the center
are now outnumbering households with marriage at the center.
So don't you go out there and get your ideas
about the family and men's and women's roles
when they are that messed up about it.
Go to the Bible, go to church,
listen to what your pastor is telling you,
listen to what your parents are telling you,
and understand that in general, it is God's will for you,
young lady, teenage girl,
that you get married, bear children, and guide the house.
And if you say, well, I don't wanna get married,
it better be because you're saying,
well, I don't wanna get married
because I just wanna just do so much service for God,
I'm gonna go be a missionary.
But I really doubt that that's what you're thinking.
You're probably looking at a bunch of women of this world,
influencers and media types, and idolizing them
instead of worshiping the Lord
and following godly female role models in your life.
So yes, the widow is out there.
Yes, she that is divorced is out there.
And obviously, some women are not married
just because they haven't found someone yet,
or men are not married because they haven't found anyone.
Okay, I believe that ideally,
they stay with their parents until that time comes.
But I understand that a lot of them are gonna move out
and do their own thing and so forth.
But you know, it's a dangerous place to be, though,
for a young lady, especially because here's the thing,
I would rather see young men stay with their parents
until they get married.
That's what I did, that's the decision I made
when I was younger that I was gonna do that.
But at least young men are eventually going to be
autonomous anyway,
because they're gonna be the leader of their home.
The problem with a young dude living by himself
as a single, though,
is that there's not a lot of accountability there.
And it's just not good in general for the man to be alone.
Okay, but you say, well, I'll get a roommate.
Well, that worked out great for Paul and Barnabas
until it didn't.
But here's the thing.
Yeah, men are ultimately gonna be controlling
their own destiny because they're built and wired
to be the leaders on this earth.
But women are not.
Women are really much more suited
to being under dad's authority
and then under their husband's authority.
And so I think it's 10 times as dangerous
when you see girls moving out when they're 18
than boys moving out when they're 18.
And again, I believe that they should both stay
with their parents until they get married.
But it's a big difference.
And don't try to tell me they're the same.
If you think men and women are the same,
you're really brainwashed,
because there's just such a difference.
There are physical differences,
there are mental differences,
there are emotional differences.
They're just different.
I mean, men are from Mars and women are from Venus, folks.
I've never read that book, so I'm not endorsing it.
I don't even know what it's about.
But it's true, though, exactly.
Okay, so verse 10.
And if she vowed in her husband's house,
or bound her soul by a bond with an oath,
and her husband heard it and held his peace at her
and disallowed her not,
then all her vows shall stand,
and every bond wherewith she bound her soul shall stand.
Again, identical to the previous discussion about dad.
But if her husband hath utterly made them void
on the day that he heard them,
then whatsoever proceeded out of her lips
concerning her vows or concerning the bond of her soul,
wherein verse 12 of Numbers 30,
shall not stand.
Her husband hath made them void,
and the Lord shall forgive her.
So we see that the husband has veto power.
Okay, now here's the thing.
I don't dictate every facet of my daughter's lives.
And they're children.
But especially as they get older,
especially if they're adults living in my home,
I'm not going to dictate every facet
of my adult daughter's life living in my home.
But guess what?
I don't dictate every facet of my wife's life either.
I mean, my wife makes all kinds of decisions on her own.
And people who work for me here at the church,
my employees, they know
that I'm not constantly micromanaging them
and telling them what to do.
I give them all kinds of freedom.
And that's the kind of leadership that I carry out.
You can talk to anybody who's worked for me.
You can talk to my family.
Don't go grilling my family about my leadership
because that's just weird, okay?
Talk to my employees.
But the point is, don't be one of those creepers.
That's another sermon.
But anyway, here's the thing.
I'm not trying to dictate every area of my daughter's life.
And especially as they get older.
Now, do you think I'm probably dictating
more to my two year old or to my 12 year old?
I'm going to dictate more to the two year old
than a 22 year old, okay?
But at the end of the day, you want to know what I have
over my wife and my daughter's veto power, okay?
There are things where I'm just going to say,
this is not allowed in my house.
These are the rules.
This is not allowed.
You're not, you know, it's sort of like
of all the trees of the garden now may as freely eat
except for this one tree.
So it's like, okay, yeah, do what you want with your life
except don't do this.
Except you can't do this.
You're allowed to do this, this, this, this.
You know, here choose from all these activities,
but not this, not this, and not this.
So that veto power is important.
It doesn't mean dictating everything that your wife does.
And you know, you're probably not going to have
a very good marriage if you're constantly
dictating every area of your wife's life.
Unless you just have a wife that likes
that kind of leadership and just really likes
to be told exactly what to do.
But I don't think my wife would be very happy
if I woke up in the morning, just handed her a list
and said, this is what you're going to do today.
Now some wives, and you know, you can laugh at that
and think it's funny, but I guarantee you
that there are women in this world that would love that.
Shut up, I'm right, okay?
There are women that would love to be handed that list
that says, this is what you do today, and yes sir.
And then they would know exactly what to do
and wouldn't have to worry about anything.
But here's the thing, most women are probably
not into that list, okay?
Here's the thing, there are employees
who that's what they want their boss to do.
They want their boss to tell them
exactly what to do every day.
I mean, that type of employee is out there.
And then there are other employees that love having freedom.
Like when I was in the business world as an employee,
man, I loved jobs that just kind of told me,
this is what you need to get done.
How you do it is up to you, just get it done.
And I love that freedom.
Some people though, they don't respond well
to that kind of thing, they don't like that.
So everybody's different.
And so, you know, don't go home to your husband and say,
well, you need to lead like Pastor Anderson.
No, no, they don't, because you're not married
to Pastor Anderson, you're married to your husband.
And his leadership is not going to be
the same as my leadership.
I guarantee you, there are some husbands
in this building tonight that are stricter than I am.
And there are some husbands that are more lenient than I am.
And you know what?
It's not that one is better than the other.
It's just that he's the king of his castle,
and he has the right to be who he is.
And you married him, and that's what he does,
and that's who he is.
And you know, there's different types of leadership,
different styles of leadership,
different degrees of strictness,
or you know, I tend to be pretty hands-off.
But the thing is, if I handed my wife a list every day
telling her exactly what to do, you know,
she would not like that, okay?
She would not respond well to that, okay?
And here's the thing, you know what?
The last thing I want to do is produce that list.
Like, I would probably like that arrangement
less than she does, because I'm like,
I got other stuff to do.
I don't want to write a list of all your stuff.
That's your stuff, you figure that out.
You know, I'm like, I don't want to mess with all,
you know, it's like, one of the things I like
about being married is being able to just say,
you worry about all this.
You know, I'll do my thing, you do your thing.
I want to be like Potiphar, like,
I just want the food to be on the table,
and just let Joseph worry about everything else.
Okay, but everybody's different.
Every marriage is different.
I'm not telling you to be like me.
You're not me, I'm not you.
And don't compare yourself amongst yourselves,
you're not wise, don't covet your neighbor's wife.
Don't covet your neighbor's husband.
You know, don't look at other people,
oh, well I wish that you were more like so-and-so,
whatever, that's wicked.
That's covetousness.
You know, we all have our own situation.
You've got your husband, ladies,
you've got your wife, men, and so everybody's different.
But one thing that all of us as husbands and fathers
have in common is we have the power to say no.
We have that veto power.
So whether we're kind of more of a hands-on leader
or a hands-off leader, we always have the right
to say no to things and to veto things, okay?
And you better understand that and realize that
because that is important.
One of the key things about authority
is the ability to say no.
I mean, if I can't say no to my children,
if I can't say no to my wife,
in what way, shape, or form am I in charge?
If I can't veto anything,
if I can't say you're not allowed to do that,
then you know what, I'm basically at that point
the Queen of England, right?
Is it a king now?
Okay, well then I'm the King of England.
That's even more appropriate.
So then I'm basically the King of England now,
what's his name?
Why is that funny to you?
Because I don't care about the royals.
What?
That's to him.
He's been waiting for 70 years?
Is this the Charles and Diana guy?
Did he kill her or what happened there?
Is that a conspiracy that's out there?
What's going on with the death of Princess Diana?
Can somebody help me out?
Don't go there.
Is there a conspiracy about it?
Who believes in the conspiracy?
Who doesn't believe in it?
Who doesn't even care or know?
All right, virtually everyone, all right.
I just, I thought I heard some conspiracy
that oh, she's murdered or something, but I don't know.
Whatever.
So that's the guy, okay.
I don't even know what he looks like.
He must be super old then, if he waited for 70.
Does that mean he's 70 years old?
Or, okay, because I was like,
was he really waiting as a newborn?
I don't know if he really cared.
All right, I don't know.
So all right, we're getting a little off track this evening.
But the point is that the King of England,
the reason I don't know his name, the reason I don't care,
the reason 99% of us don't care is because of 1776.
But the reason that we don't care
is because he doesn't really have any power anyway.
He kind of just parades around and takes a lot of photos,
makes speeches and stuff,
but he's not really the one with the real power, right?
Now in the past in England,
the King did have a lot of power.
But nowadays, not so much.
He's more of what's known as a figurehead.
Well, here's the thing.
I don't wanna be a figurehead in my house
and I don't want you to be a figurehead in your house.
We're supposed to actually be leaders in our homes as men,
not just the King of England,
but we need to be more like someone
who actually has some real power, okay?
And so the Bible says in verse number 13,
every vow and every binding oath to afflict the soul,
her husband may establish it
or her husband may make it void.
He can veto.
Verse 14, but if her husband altogether holds his peace
at her from day to day, then he establishes all her vows
or all her bonds which are upon her.
He confirmed them because he held his peace at her
in the day that he heard them.
But if he shall anyways make them void
after that he had heard them,
then he shall bear her iniquity.
Now verse 15, don't miss it, it's a key verse.
Here's what the Bible is saying.
Let's say the husband, he hears the vow
and this would go for the father as well.
Let's say he hears the vow and he doesn't say anything.
What does it mean if he doesn't say anything
when he hears the vow being made?
It means that he approves it, right?
Well, if he later then, let's say weeks later,
months later, years later says, you know what?
I changed my mind.
That vow is not a good idea.
I'm disannoying that, I'm vetoing that.
Now, he actually is the one who bears the sin
of breaking the vow because this is so important.
Don't miss what I'm saying right now, okay?
Because it's so easy to just, okay, yeah, vows, vows, vows.
Let's get to chapter 31 and, you know,
let's get to the warfare with the Midianites or whatever.
No, no, no, don't miss it, don't miss it.
Here's what the Bible is saying, you know,
if the husband says, you're not gonna do this,
does the Bible say, well, she is just gonna tell
her husband at that point, well, I have to do it
because I made this vow, so I'm gonna do it anyway.
Is it telling her to disobey her husband in this situation?
No, she has to obey her husband.
She must obey her husband.
So therefore, if she vowed to do a certain thing
and then let's say he waits weeks,
which he wasn't supposed to do, and then he's like,
I changed my mind, you're not going, you're not doing it.
It's not happening.
Is she like, well, I have to, I vowed, sorry.
No, she obeys her husband and refrains from that.
But then he bears the iniquity, like he's the one
who committed the sin by making her break the vow.
So basically, with a lack of authority,
also in some ways comes a lack of responsibility, right?
Because when you're in authority, yes, you're in charge,
but you also have greater responsibility.
You know, now he's responsible for these vows,
whereas she can kind of get off the hook
and just fall back on the fact, well, hey,
I'm just doing what my husband told me to do.
I'm obeying my husband and that's what the Lord demands.
So even in this situation, she made a vow
and he says, nope, you can't do it.
She's like, well, I gotta obey my husband.
Now, I will say this.
I do not believe that a husband can tell his wife
to commit a sin and that she can just commit that sin
and say, well, I'm just doing what my husband told me.
My husband told me to murder this guy
and so I have to obey my husband and so I just murdered him.
Now, that's kind of an extreme example,
but sometimes extreme examples
can really drive a point home, right?
What if I told my wife, honey, you need to obey
your husband at all things.
This is who I want you to kill this week, okay?
I know I don't normally give you a list of things to do,
but I'm giving you a hit list of people that I want dead
and I'll give you the month to figure it out.
Get it done.
Kill him.
I don't think anyone would say, well,
that's on him for telling her to do that.
I think everyone would agree that any wife
who participated in murder would be guilty.
It's so easy to see, isn't it?
Okay, how about this?
How about if a husband says, get an abortion?
I mean, didn't we just agree that the husband
can't tell his wife to commit murder?
Well, then that means if the husband says to his wife,
get an abortion, she can't be like,
well, I'm just obeying my husband,
I'm just gonna get the abortion and it's on him.
That's not what the Bible's teaching
because here's the thing.
This vow, this is not about something that's a sin
versus not a sin, vows are optional things.
These are extra things.
People in the Bible would vow to do something.
It's not like they make a vow that says,
I'm not gonna steal.
That's kind of a meaningless value.
You're not supposed to be stealing anyway.
What kind of a vow is that?
The whole point of these vows is that they're afflicting
their soul with something extra.
They're putting on something extra.
It's not something that God already requires.
Not doing it isn't a sin.
Doing it isn't a sin.
It's just something arbitrary or extra
that they have made a vow that they're gonna do X, Y, and Z
and it's not something inherently right or wrong.
Do you see the difference?
So the Bible is not saying that you can just,
as long as you're obeying orders,
you can just commit any sin.
No, if my parents tell me to outright lie,
if my parents tell me to steal or murder
or commit adultery, I'm not gonna do it.
No matter what the age, why?
Because the Bible says, yes,
that we should obey our authority,
but the Bible says that we should all be subject
unto the higher powers and there is a chain of command
and the highest power is God.
So we don't disobey God in order to obey an authority
on this earth.
We don't disobey God to obey our parents.
We don't disobey God to obey our husband,
but we obey them in all things
unless we have to obey the higher power.
You know, here's the, these authorities
usually rarely come in conflict with one another
and usually when they do come in conflict,
there's a way to resolve it.
Like Daniel, he had this situation
where his authorities came in conflict
where the prince of the eunuchs
is telling him to do one thing,
God's telling him to do something else
and so he purposed in his heart
that he would not defile himself with the king's meat,
but he didn't just go in there guns ablaze
and like, I don't have to listen to you.
You know, he diffused the situation.
And so in the rare event that your husband
is outright telling you to sin,
you find a way to make everybody happy.
You find a way to be respectful to your husband,
but not to sin.
You don't hide behind the fact that, you know,
well, it's on him.
That's not what this is saying.
But when it comes to something optional,
if you, let's say, commit to do something,
because even though we're not doing vows
in the New Testament, we still make commitments.
We still have yay, yay, nay, nay.
So what if my wife told someone,
hey, I'm gonna do this and so,
I'm gonna be there, I'm gonna do that.
And then I told her, no, you're not.
You know, that puts her in a position
where she has to basically say,
ah, I know I said I would do it, but I can't.
Now at that point, she could hide behind me
and say, my husband said no, and it's on him.
And as long as I did it when I first heard about it,
you know, God forgive me, amen?
But even if it was later on that I did it,
well then, you know, it's on me at that point.
So does everybody understand verse 15?
Here's the key takeaway from verse 15.
Don't disobey your husband to keep
some other commitment that you made.
Don't keep, don't disobey your husband
to please other people or keep some other commitment
or to finish something that you started over here.
You know, you need to obey your husband
unless he's outright telling you to sin.
And in a vow situation, this is not
an outright sin or not sin, these are optional vows.
They're so optional that Christ said,
don't even do them in the New Testament
because they're so optional you don't even need them.
Let's just eliminate them because
people have not done well with them.
But if he shall anyways make them void
after that he has heard them,
then he shall bear her iniquity.
It's his fault, he's blamed.
He's the one who's in trouble with the Lord.
These are the statutes which the Lord commanded Moses
between a man and his wife, between the father
and his daughter being yet in her youth
and her father's house.
So therefore, you know, you might think to yourself,
well, I don't wanna obey my husband
because he's making a bad decision
or he's not a good leader.
That's on him.
If he's doing something stupid, making a bad, it's on him.
You know, let him bear the responsibility
for what he does as a leader.
And sure, there are benefits to being a leader.
But there are also benefits to being a follower
because there's less responsibility,
you can relax, you can let, I mean, look,
who do you think has more stress in their life?
The parents or the children?
I mean, when children act like they're stressed out,
it's like, please.
You don't know what stress is.
I remember as a kid thinking I was stressed out.
It's a joke compared to the kind of stress
that we have as adults.
If my children screw up,
I mean, what's the worst thing that could happen?
If I screw up, the stakes are a lot higher.
I'm running the whole household here.
I could really make bigger mistakes than my kids can make.
Okay, it's much more stressful being the leader.
Parents are more stressed than children.
Husbands are probably more stressed
about the finances than wives are, okay?
Wives might feel a little stress when they swipe that card.
They wanna make sure that it's approved,
that it goes through.
But husbands have to worry about
where that money's gonna come from in the first place, okay?
So there's a certain stress.
And we're also the spiritual leaders of our family.
The stakes are high.
I mean, we are leading the family.
We don't wanna lead them down a wrong path.
Being a follower is less responsibility as well.
So there are benefits to both.
It's not that one is better than the other.
It's that they're different.
And let's turn to one last passage before we go.
First Corinthians chapter 11,
because I'm gonna prove to you
that one is not better than the other.
Because you say, well, Pastor Anderson,
you're just misogynistic.
And this buzzword, misogyny,
comes from a couple of Greek words,
miso, that prefix means hate, okay?
That's what it means, hate.
Because you might think, oh, it's like a prefix,
like in misunderstood or something.
No, no, when I first heard the word misogyny,
I was thinking it was that mis prefix
from like misunderstood or oh, I misspoke,
like you made a mistake or something.
But actually, that's not what it comes from.
That miso prefix means hate, okay?
And so the genie part is obviously meaning women.
And so it literally means, if you're misogynistic,
it literally means that you hate women,
a hateful attitude toward women.
And here's what our world does today.
Our world looks at a biblical view of husbands and wives
and labels it as hateful toward women.
Do you believe that God's plan for our lives
is hateful toward women?
I've read some literature that was hateful toward women.
I mean, there's a whole body of literature on the internet,
if you could call it really literature,
it's more like idioture,
but there's a whole body of thought out there
on the internet called MGTOW
that is hateful toward women.
You can just feel it when you read what these MGTOW say,
you can feel their hatred for women
coming off the page at you.
They literally hate women.
You know, I've read some Islamic literature
that felt pretty hateful toward women.
You know, there are some things in even Islamic fiction,
like the 1001 Arabian Nights
that, you know, come off pretty misogynistic.
I've read some things in the Apocrypha
that felt pretty misogynistic.
There's nothing misogynistic in the word of God.
You're not gonna find it.
God's word is positive toward women
from Genesis to Revelation,
not just the New Testament, Old Testament as well.
God's word lifts up women, exalts women,
is kind unto women.
There's something hateful toward women about this.
Say, well, yeah, but by saying that the man's in charge,
that's misogynistic.
Okay, well, let me ask you this.
Look at verse number two, or verse three, sorry,
of 1 Corinthians 11.
Are you there, 1 Corinthians 11, three?
But I would have you to know
that the head of every man is Christ,
and the head of the woman is the man.
Oh, that's so misogynistic!
And the head of Christ is God.
So is that miso-christic?
Is this a miso-christic verse?
By saying that the head of Christ is God.
Oh, that's just so hateful toward Jesus Christ.
Is it?
Is it though?
Let me ask you this.
Who here thinks that God is better than Jesus?
Anyone?
Of course not.
Because the Father and the Son are co-equal, right?
That's part of the doctrine of the Trinity.
The Father is not superior to the Son.
He's not better than the Son.
I mean, Jesus and the Father and the Holy Spirit,
guess what they are though?
They're different.
They have different roles.
And there is authority there
because Jesus submitted himself to the Father.
And you say, well, that was just while he's on this earth.
But even in 1 Corinthians itself,
if we just go a few pages to the right in the Bible,
we get to chapter 15,
and we find that even after the millennium,
Jesus will deliver up the kingdom to the Father.
Christ will be subject unto the Father
even after the millennium.
That's what the Bible says.
I know, I'm sure theologians have wrote whole books
about how that isn't true,
but yet that's what it says in 1 Corinthians 15
if you just read the chapter.
And so what I see in 1 Corinthians 11,
chapter 11, verse three is the present tense.
It doesn't even say that the head of Christ was God.
It says the head of Christ is God.
Christ is up in heaven and the head of Christ is God.
Chapter 15, Christ is gonna deliver up the kingdom to God,
even the Father.
And so is this miso-Christic?
Is this misogynistic?
No.
What this is is just the reality of the fact
that there's God and there's Christ
and there's the Holy Spirit
and there's the husband and there's the wife.
And we've got these different roles,
these different functions.
You know, obviously we believe in the divinity of Christ
and here's the thing.
Jesus Christ is just as much God as the Father is God.
Okay.
You say, well, then why is the Father
sometimes just called God?
Because oftentimes a member of a group
will just be referred to as the name of that group.
For example, if I said the word composer, okay,
technically we could say, well,
anyone who composes anything is a composer.
But would I call a secretary in an office
necessarily a composer?
Would I call someone who writes fiction a composer?
Typically if I said the word composer,
I'm talking about music.
Am I right?
Doesn't mean that the others don't compose.
Okay.
So here's the thing.
Jesus Christ is God.
The Holy Spirit is God.
The Father is God.
But often we'll sometimes refer to God
and the Lord Jesus Christ in a specific way
where when we mean God the Father,
we don't just always repeat the Father over and over again.
Sometimes the Bible wants to be specific,
so it'll say God, comma, even the Father.
And that word even there shows
that we're further clarifying something
that kind of was already understood.
Okay.
And so the head of Christ is God.
But let me ask this,
does that take away from the divinity of Christ?
Does that take away from Jesus' deity?
Does that take away from Christ's greatness
or his power or his authority or his magnificence?
No.
In fact, I think it makes Jesus greater.
The fact that Jesus is subject unto the Father
makes me have more respect for Jesus, not less.
It makes me more impressed by the Godhead in general
than if there wasn't any kind of a statement in the Bible
that says, well, the head of Christ is God.
And so one who would look at this and say,
well, women being in subjection makes them inferior,
that would be like saying Christ is inferior to the Father.
Now, look, I don't expect unsaved people
to buy this argument that I just gave you.
You think some atheist is really gonna buy this
the head of Christ is God argument?
You know, it's like, hey, the head of Christ is God.
Your move, atheist.
That's not gonna work.
But what if I told you that I don't really care
what atheists think about this subject.
I don't really care what agnostics think about this subject.
I really don't care what unsaved people think
about what's right and wrong.
I care what God thinks and I care what God's people think.
That's what matters.
And that's who I'm talking.
I'm talking to people who do care
that the head of Christ is God.
And so this argument should make perfect sense to you.
If it doesn't, maybe it's just get saved
since you don't even care
about the Father, Son and Holy Ghost.
But if you are saved,
then you do care about the Father, Son and Holy Ghost.
And this argument is gonna mean something to you.
And don't you dare walk out of here saying,
well, pastor thinks that husbands are better than men.
Or excuse me, husbands are not better.
Husbands are men.
Don't you dare walk out of here thinking that,
oh, Pastor Anderson thinks that husbands
are better than their wives
or that men are better than the women.
If you do, be sure to also say,
pastor thinks that the Father is better than Jesus.
Because, you know, it's a single verse.
And you know, why don't you underline this verse?
Why don't you put a star by it?
Why don't you highlight it?
Why don't you memorize it?
Why don't you put this in a cool font
and print it out and put it in a frame
and stick it above your mantle, above your fireplace?
Because then you'll neither become a feminist
nor one of these oneness bozos.
And I can't decide which one's worse.
Just kidding, oneness is worse.
Let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer.
Father, we thank you so much for your word, Lord.
And we thank you so much for the family
and the husband-wife relationship.
Thank you for the children that you've blessed
my family with and that you bless other people with, Lord.
And Lord, I know there are people out there
that are single, that are divorced, that are widowed,
or they're single for whatever reason.
And Lord, I pray that you'd bless them
and help them also to know your will for their lives, Lord.
But tonight, we focused on the families, Lord,
because the family is under attack.
And I pray that you would bless our Christian families
in this church and Christian families
all over the world, Lord,
that your word would speak to them on this subject.
And in Jesus' name, we pray, amen.